Episode 49 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the aim of the game is to score

as few points as you can. Let's meet today's players.

Now welcome back, Steven and Graham.

You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the final,

and this is your last chance. Remind us how you two know each other.

-We're both NVQ assessors for the same college.

-Oh, that's right.

-You on cleaning.

-Correct.

-And Steven on brick laying.

-Mm-hm.

Very good indeed. Now, what happened last time, Steven?

-We are in the 200 club.

-Oh, round one.

-Shocking.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Hey, well, that was last time. That was last time.

This time, Graham, what's going to come up

-that's going to be brilliant for you?

-A bit of football, we hope.

A bit of music, you know.

-Any favourite kinds of music?

-For me, from the '60s and the '70s.

For my colleague, a little bit later than that.

Anything really, rock and roll.

Steven, you're in a band?

-Yep.

-You're in a band called Stellify.

-I am.

Very good, and remind us what Stellify do,

-what kind of music they are.

-Rock and roll.

-Will the rest of Stellify be watching?

-They will.

-And they'll laugh if I mess it up on rock and roll.

-OK, very good.

What would you like to see come up today, Steven?

Anything but Politics,

Science, Books, Films...

LAUGHTER

-Everything.

-Well, let's keep our fingers crossed.

-You simply can't get another 200 today.

-Oh, no, no, no.

-It's out of the question.

-No, it's out of the question.

Very best of luck to you both. It's great to have you back on the show.

And next, we welcome Dave and Erica. How do you two know each other?

-Husband and wife.

-We're married.

-You need her to explain.

-He adds helpfully.

-Where are you from, Dave?

-Plymouth.

Wow. We've had fantastic representation from Plymouth.

-We've had a lot of Plymouth in, yeah.

-Yeah, this series...

In fact, when you drive into Plymouth, it now says "Twinned With Pointless."

I tell you what would be amazing,

to have someone from Plymouth get through to Round Two.

You won't.

-Now, Erica, it's your birthday today.

-It is.

You're duty-bound to get through to the final.

-Everyone else, let's just try and lose.

-Please.

-OK?

-Thank you.

So that Dave and Erica get through to the final.

-That would be nice, wouldn't it?

-It'd be very good.

-And take a Pointless trophy down to Plymouth.

-Yep. Memorable day.

I think it's important. Listen, it's lovely to have you here,

very, very best of luck on Pointless. And next, we welcome Claire and Colum.

How do you two know each other?

Oh, we live together, we go to university together.

Where are you from, Claire?

Shropshire is where I live, but I'm originally from Canada.

I moved here about eight years ago.

I'm just trying to hear any Canadian.

Does she have a Canadian accent, Colum?

Yeah. Get two drinks in her, and the Canadian comes out basically.

Are you confident that you've got enough

of a grounding in pointless British knowledge?

There have been a lot of occasions where people have gone on about

programmes they watched as a kid, and I have no idea what they're on about.

-OK. Yeah, that's going to be tough.

-Yeah.

-How's your British geography?

That's not very good either. When I first lived here,

I thought Plymouth was in Wales,

and that Essex was north of London.

-I think Essex IS north of London.

-It is, yes.

Um, Colum, how about you? What are your hobbies?

Well, I'm in a writers' group, but I'm also quite active in politics.

Been to a couple of Labour conferences before.

I play cricket a lot as well. I was captain of my team last year,

and we came third-bottom in the lowest league in Cornwall.

-That's not so bad.

-It's better than when I joined!

Well, there you are. Very good.

Claire and Colum, very best of luck. It's great to have you on the show.

And finally, we've got Neil and John. How do you know each other?

We are friends and work colleagues.

-Right, you are. And what do you do?

-I'm a research scientist with John.

A research scientist? What sort of science?

We work for a pharmaceutical company.

Oh. Research for a pharmaceutical company?

-We're not allowed to ask anything about that, presumably?

-Top-secret.

-Wow. What's your degree?

-My degree's in chemistry, and I also did a PhD

in organic chemistry as well.

OK, how about you, John?

-Exactly the same.

-Also a PhD in organic chemistry?

-Exactly, yeah.

Very good. This is the kind of calibre of contestant we're now getting on Pointless.

-Ever since we went HD.

-It's amazing.

I need to change some of these categories. I feel a bit embarrassed by some of them.

You think that Martine McCutcheon round's going to have to go?

LAUGHTER I'm not sure organic chemists are going to handle the Hi-de-Hi round,

-I'm just not sure it's going to...

-You'd be surprised.

Well, very best of luck, Neil and John.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He's the man who once fired Alan Sugar.

-He's my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hiya.

APPLAUSE

We've only got one returning pair today,

that's Steven and Graham. They got 200 points last time,

so we find ourselves in one of those rare positions

where no-one here has ever answered a question correctly on Pointless.

So hopefully we shall break that duck at some point.

So, apart from Colum, people don't like politics questions, do they?

-No.

-No. Just thought I'd mention it. Just passing the time of day.

So no politics coming up on today's show. No, siree.

-I can neither confirm nor deny...

-OK.

-..what you're asking me.

-Probably no politics on today's show.

-Interesting that people don't like politics as a question.

-Interesting indeed. Thanks, Richard.

All questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people.

But we're looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game and have a chance to win our jackpot,

all our players need to do is score as few points as they possibly can.

Now what everyone's trying to do, of course, is to find a pointless answer,

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we'll add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

OK, let's play Pointless.

Now, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score

at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If anyone gives me an incorrect answer,

they will score the maximum of 100 points, so try and avoid those.

OK, our first category is...

LAUGHTER

OK. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

Post-war leaders of the opposition. Richard?

We're looking for any politician

who has been the leader of Her Majesty's Most Loyal Opposition

at any time since 1945.

They can be a full leader or an acting leader.

Anyone since the election of July, 1945, please.

OK, thank you very much.

Now then, Steven and Graham, you all drew lots before the show,

and today you are going to go first.

Graham. Post-war leaders of the opposition.

Not a category that I would wish to come up.

However, I'm going to have a stab at...

Jim Callaghan.

Jim Callaghan, says Graham.

Jim Callaghan. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Jim Callaghan.

He's right.

-Oh! Fantastic answer, Graham.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's a pointless answer. It adds £250 to our jackpot,

which takes the total up to £2,250.

It scores you nothing.

No 200 club for you in this round.

-Richard.

-Very well played, Graham. That feels a bit better, doesn't it?

James Callaghan was Prime Minister for Labour

and stayed on very briefly afterwards, in 1979 and 1980.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now then, Erica.

-Not a good subject for me.

-OK.

I'm sorry. Erm...

I'm going to have to say Tony Blair.

-Tony Blair...

-Sorry.

-..says Erica. No, don't be sorry at all.

Tony Blair. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Tony Blair.

It's right.

30.

APPLAUSE

Not bad.

30 for Tony Blair.

Yes, safe answer, Erica, he was opposition leader from '94-'97.

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Claire.

-Er...

-Claire, how's your British politics?

Um... I know leaders. I don't know opposition all that well,

so mine's going to be a bit of an obvious one unfortunately.

Um, I'm going to have to go for David Cameron.

David Cameron, says Claire. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

27.

APPLAUSE

27 for David Cameron.

Yes, leader of the Tory opposition from 2005-2010.

Neil.

Not a good round for me unfortunately either.

Erm, I think I'm going to go for Iain Duncan Smith.

Iain Duncan Smith, says our organic chemist in the corner.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

11.

Very well done indeed.

11 for Iain Duncan Smith.

Yeah, he was the Tory opposition leader from 2001-2003.

He did all those speeches about being a quiet man.

He said, "Never underestimate the determination of a quiet man."

And the next year he said, "The quiet man is turning up the volume and he's here to stay."

And that was his last conference speech.

-He's been very quiet ever since.

-He has. He has.

Now, we are halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. A fantastic answer from you, Graham.

James Callaghan, scoring you absolutely nothing.

Lovely, strong position for you and Steven to find yourselves in.

Then we go up to 11, where we find Neil and John,

then up to 27, where we find Claire and Colum,

and then up to 30, where we find Erica and Dave.

You're not that far in front, but you are the high scorers, Dave,

so we'll need a low-scoring answer from you to make sure

you don't leave us at the end of the round. Good luck.

We're going down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, John, we are looking for post-war leaders of the opposition.

You are currently on 11 points.

The high scorers on 30 are Dave and Erica,

which means if you can score 18 or less with this answer,

you are through to the next round.

-OK. I think I'll go with John Smith.

-Here is your red line.

You get below that red line,

you are in the second round.

John Smith, is it right? How many people said it?

Very well done, John. 12.

APPLAUSE

A great answer. 12 takes your total up to 23.

-Well-played. The organic chemists are good, aren't they?

-Oh, they're good.

-Look at that, 23.

-23.

-It's quite something, isn't it?

Is there nothing they don't know? Do you know about Hi-de-Hi!?

OK.

He was '92-'94 Labour opposition leader, and Blair took over from him.

Now, then. Colum.

We're looking for post-war leaders of the opposition. You're on 27.

Our high scorers on 30

are Dave and Erica, meaning a score of 2 or less,

you are through to the next round.

Er, well, John Smith was going to be my answer actually.

Erm... So I'm probably going to go with Michael Howard.

Michael Howard, says Colum.

Let's see if that's right, and if so, how many people said it.

There is a red line there, it's very, very low, Colum.

But, if you get below it, you are through to the next round.

Michael Howard.

Oh! Very, very well done indeed.

Three.

Takes your total up to 30. Very well done. Three for Michael Howard.

Yeah, very low score for Michael Howard. He won't like that, will he?

2003-2005 for the Tories.

Now then, Dave. You're the joint high scorers at this point on 30.

Ideally a pointless answer from you...

I'm going to play safe-ish, probably going to regret it,

-and go William Hague.

-Let's see if that's right,

and if so, how many people said it.

No red line for you as you are joint high scorers already.

You just have to hope this goes down as far as it possibly can. William Hague.

How many people said that?

It's right.

19.

APPLAUSE

19. Takes your total up to 49.

Yeah, a good answer, Dave,

another of the many people who were leader of the opposition against Tony Blair

alongside Iain Duncan Smith, Michael Howard.

Indeed. Now, Steven, we are looking for post-war leaders

of the opposition. You are currently on nothing.

Brilliant low score from Graham in the first pass.

The high scorers on 49 are Dave and Erica,

which means a score of 48 or less will see you through.

Not my subject.

But I'm going to go...

Neil Kinnock.

There is your red line, Steven. Nice and high.

If Neil Kinnock gets you below that red line,

you are through to the next round.

Well done. You've done it.

21 for Neil Kinnock.

APPLAUSE

21. Takes your total up to 21.

Yeah, good answer, Steven, actually the longest-serving

leader of the opposition, Neil Kinnock, nine years, from '83-'92.

-Wow.

-Yeah, how about that?

There's only six pointless answers here, only one Tory as well,

very well done if you got any of these at home. Let's take a look.

Alec Douglas-Home,

who was Tory leader of the opposition in '64-'65, was pointless.

George Brown, who was acting leader of the Labour Party in 1963,

Herbert Morrison, again, was an interim leader for the Labour Party

and Peter Mandelson's grandfather as well.

Hugh Gaitskell, another Labour leader,

and James Callaghan we already had. Very good answer there.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Shall we take a look at the top answers? These are the ones that most of our 100 people said.

There's David Cameron, 27.

There's Tony Blair on 30. And right at the top of the list...

He's finally won something,

Ed Miliband on 33.

-Well done, Ed.

-Thank you very much, Richard. At the end of the round,

our losing pair with the highest score, Dave and Erica.

Good answer, though. I mean, you know, not a bad score.

49's really not a bad total at all.

-At least it was right.

-Yeah. It's just been a very low-scoring round.

Well, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye to you now, Dave and Erica,

but we'll see you next time.

I'm sure you'll go further. Thanks for playing. Great contestants.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-heads, so one pair

will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Very hard to call after that first round. The lowest team were Steven and Graham.

But probably the most consistently low-scoring pair were Neil and John.

So very, very hard to call. Our category for Round Two is...

The Olympics. Can you all decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our Round Two question concerns...

Good luck, Claire.

-Richard.

-Yes, on each pass,

we're going to give you a list of six athletes who have won an individual Olympic medal.

All you have to do is tell us

which individual event did they win that medal in.

Give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points.

Incorrect answer, 100 points. 12 answers in all to guess at home.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

OK, so we are looking for the individual events

in which these sports stars have won Olympic medals.

And here they come. We have got...

I'll just read those one more time.

So, there are the athletes.

You need to say which individual event they won their Olympic medals.

Steven.

I think I'm going to go with...

..Sally Gunnell, 110 metre hurdles.

Sally Gunnell, 110 metre hurdles.

So, Steven, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Bad luck, Steven. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which scores you 100 points. I'm sorry. Richard.

Sorry, Steven. I'll give the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Claire.

-I know none of those names.

-OK. Here's fun.

-Erm, slightly...

-Do you follow the Olympics, though?

-Yeah, but...

So individual events in the Olympics, you know?

I know people by how they look, not their names.

So it's the guy with the red hair or things like that.

-Do you want me to provide what they look like in brackets?

-LAUGHTER

That would be really helpful, thanks. Erm...

I'm going to go for Allan Wells,

complete guess, and say triple jump.

Allan Wells, triple jump, says Claire. Allan Wells,

triple jump. Is that right? How many people knew that answer?

Bad luck, Claire.

Very confidently given, but I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

100 points. I'm sorry. Richard.

Sorry, Claire.

Good news for Steven, though. It's 100-100.

Again, I'll give the answer at the end of the pass.

Neil. Now remember, we are looking for the individual events

for which these Olympians won their medals.

You're the last person to have this board so,

if you like, you could take us through it.

I'll have a bash at it.

There's a lot that I think I know, so...

Brendan Foster, I think, is a 1,500 metres. Erm...

Fatima Whitbread, I can't remember if it's javelin or shot put,

so I'm just doubting myself at the moment.

Allan Wells, I think, was 100 metres.

And Mary Peters, again, I think was a distance...

I'm just going to play safe and go with Sally Gunnell,

400 metre hurdles.

400 metre hurdles, you are saying for Sally Gunnell.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people knew that.

Very well done, Neil.

Very good indeed. 21.

APPLAUSE

21 for Sally Gunnell.

Yeah, good choice, Neil. There it is, Steven.

I assume you knew it was a choice of the two of them and you picked the 110m.

Let's fill in the rest of the board.

Fatima Whitbread, not shot put - she's javelin.

That would have scored you 52.

If you had said Brendan Foster and 1,500m,

you'd have scored 100 points cos it's 10,000m - won bronze,

and 10,000m would have scored 4. Allan Wells, absolutely right,

is the 100m, won the gold in Moscow.

Would have scored 20 points. Mary Peters, not a distance runner,

she won gold in the pentathlon, modern pentathlon.

Would have scored you 11.

And Eric Liddell, as anyone who watches Chariots Of Fire will know,

is the 400m and that's a pointless answer. He was entered for the 100m,

but the final was on a Sunday and he refused to run.

So he entered the 400m instead and won a gold.

Thank you. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

Neil and John looking very, very strong indeed on 21

and Claire and Colum and Steven and Graham

drawing as high-scorers on 100.

So, Colum and Graham, it's going to be between you in the next pass

to decide who stays with us and who leaves us. Right, we're going to come back down the line -

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more athletes on the board

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read them all one more time.

There we are, and we are looking for the individual events

at which these athletes won their Olympic medals.

And obviously, as always in Pointless, you're trying to find

the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Now, then, John - you're on 21, the high-scorers,

Graham and Steven and Colum and Claire on 100,

means a score of 78 or less from you

will see you through to the next round.

Yeah, so I think I'm going to play it safe

and go with Jonathan Edwards, triple jump.

Jonathan Edwards, triple jump says John, here's your red line.

You get below that red line, you are through to the head-to-head.

Let's see if that's right. Triple jump for Jonathan Edwards.

Quite right, and you're through.

-30.

-APPLAUSE

30 takes your total up to 51.

Well played. Jon won a gold at Sydney following up a silver at Atlanta,

and another competitor who often refused to compete on a Sunday.

Colum, you are joint high-scorers with Graham and Steven on 100.

You have to score as low as you possibly can.

-How does that board look to you?

-Uh, I know two of them definitely.

One I'm a little unsure about.

I'm going to have to go with Colin Jackson, 100m hurdles.

100m hurdles, let's see if that's right and if it is let's see how many people said it.

There's no red line for you as you are joint high-scorers.

Bad luck, Colum.

Unfortunately, that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score 100 points.

Richard will tell us why in a little while.

Graham, so we are looking for the individual events

in which these Team GB Olympic stars won medals.

You're the last person to have this board

so you can talk us through the board if you like and fill in any of the blanks.

I think Daley Thompson's decathlon, I think Liz McColgan's marathon,

Colin Jackson's 110m hurdles.

I don't know Germaine Mason. Linford Christie, 100m.

I think I'll go for...

..Colin Jackson, 110m hurdle.

-Just to rub the salt in there, Graham.

-LAUGHTER

OK, the high scorers on 200 are Colum and Claire.

You're on 100, which means a score of 99 or less

will be enough to see you through to the head-to-head. Let's see if 110m hurdles is right.

Yes.

-APPLAUSE

-15. A nice, low score there as well.

15 takes your total up to 115, Graham. Well done.

Yeah, well played, Graham. The 110m hurdles.

He won the silver medal in 1988. Never won another Olympic medal, strangely,

for someone who was so dominant in that event.

Let's take a look at the rest of them.

Graham's taken us through most of them - Daley Thompson, absolutely right, is the decathlon,

would have scored you 41. Liz McColgan, not the marathon, but the 10,000m.

Not a million miles off, literally. 8 points that would have scored you.

Linford Christie, 100m. He's a big scorer, though - 59.

Now, Germaine Mason is a pointless answer.

He won a silver medal in Beijing very recently in the high jump.

And that's pointless. Very, very well done if you said that.

Well done to anybody who went through all 12 of those. Impressive.

Very well done if you won the silver medal in Beijing for high jump.

-LAUGHTER

-Sorry no-one knew.

-Now people will know.

-Yeah, they will.

-That's nice, isn't it?

Yeah, that is nice. Thank you very much, Richard.

Now, at the end of Round Two, our losing pair with the highest score, Colum and Claire.

Bad luck. Bad luck, Colum -

you knew very shortly after you gave that answer what you'd done wrong.

And Claire, I can only apologise -

sometimes we have really nice international-friendly games

and other times they're extremely British.

-If you had pictures up, I would have been fine.

-Yeah, I know, exactly.

Listen, when you come back, you've got to make it through

to the head-to-head and we do have a picture round then.

-And maybe it'll be Olympians, who knows?

-THEY LAUGH

It's been great having you on the show,

We'll look forward to seeing you next time, but you've done brilliantly

-Apart from your 200 score in this...

-LAUGHTER

..but that, I think, is entirely understandable.

-Thanks very much for playing.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining pairs, things are about to get even more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Oh, congratulations Neil and John, Steven and Graham -

you are now only one round away from the final

and a chance to pay for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,250.

APPLAUSE

Now, obviously, only one pair can play for that money

and to decide which pair it's going to be,

you're now going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

So the first pair to win two questions will play for that jackpot,

and you are now, of course, allowed to confer.

So we have Steven and Graham, our returning pairs,

playing our organic chemists, Neil and John.

Now, Neil and John, the lowest scorers overall,

but Steven and Graham, you gave us a pointless answer in Round One

so anything could happen in this round. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

-tits and finches.

-LAUGHTER

That's a gentleman's magazine, I think, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

For the gentleman ornithologist. Tits and finches, Richard.

Absolutely. It gets slightly worse before it gets better.

In this round we're going to show you five pictures of tits and finches.

And finches! We're going to show you five pictures of tits and finches,

we need you to give us their common English name

according to the British Ornithologists Union, please.

I'll give you a clue - they're all followed with the word "tit" or "finch".

-Right, "tit" is a very common name for a bird.

-I know it is.

So just get over it. Get all your laughter out of the way. LAUGHTER

People at home are slightly more mature than you.

They're just enjoying the show,

they're looking forward to seeing some pictures of tits and they... LAUGHTER

..don't need you to be laughing it up, OK?

OK. Good. I'm there.

-Let's take a look at them, shall we?

-Let's take a look...

-LAUGHTER

-Thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five pictures of birds.

-LAUGHTER

Here they are. We have got...

The we are. Now, Neil and John,

you've played best throughout the show so far so you get to go first.

There are five pictures of tits and finches.

You have to identify the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

We'll go with D being a blue tit.

A blue tit? D, you are saying. D, a blue tit.

Now then, Steven and Graham, you can talk out loud if you like.

I think B is a coal tit.

That's all I know

and maybe E is a yellow finch.

I haven't a clue.

-What about you?

-Whatever you think.

I think we'll go for B and coal tit.

B. Coal tit.

B, coal tit, Say Steven and Graham.

So, Neil and John have said that D is a blue tit.

Is that right, and if it is, how many people said it?

It's right. 72.

APPLAUSE

Steven and Graham have said that B is a coal tit.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

Oh, bad luck, Steven and Graham. I'm afraid that's incorrect,

which means that after the first question, Neil and John are up 1-0.

Sorry, Steven and Graham - B is actually a great tit,

which is the largest tit you'll find in the UK.

That would have scored you 19 points.

Very well done if you said great tit.

Let's go through the rest of the board.

-A, I can give you.

-Really?

-It's a chaffinch.

Uh, yeah, wrong. Wrong, wrong. LAUGHTER

-Really?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Is it? We've got those outside our window.

I've always thought that was a chaffinch.

-No, I'll tell you what you've got outside your window.

-Tell me.

A bullfinch.

-Wow.

-That's a bullfinch, that would have scored you 13 points.

-What about that?

-So that's what you've got outside your window.

We've got bullfinches out there. Whoa, yeah.

Now, C is the best answer on the board, actually.

It would have scored you 3 points if you'd said hawfinch. Hawfinch.

God, he's an ugly brute, isn't he? Look at that beak.

Isn't he just? Since metrication, we don't call them hawfinches.

Instead of saying "hawfinch", we say "centimetre".

LAUGHTER

-Now, Steven and Graham, what did you think E was?

-Yellow finch.

It's not a million miles away. It's a greenfinch.

-There's a clue in the colour, isn't there?

-It's quite yellowy.

And greenfinch would have scored you 24 points.

Anyway, that's tits and finches. Think we got away with it. LAUGHTER

Yeah. Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, here comes your second question and it concerns Charlie Chaplin.

Charlie Chaplin. Richard?

We're going to show you five clues to facts about Charlie Chaplin. Which is the most obscure?

Thanks very much. Now then, Steven and Graham, as I'm sure you're aware,

you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Best of luck. Let's reveal our five clues to facts about Charlie Chaplin,

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all again.

There you are. Five clues to facts about Charlie Chaplin.

Steven and Graham, not only do you have to win this question,

you also go first.

The type of hat, do you think?

-Do you know any of them?

-No.

Well, it's either that or he was

-born in 1899.

-Was he?

-I don't know.

-What hat is it?

-I don't know. A trilby hat?

Go on then, you say that because I've got no idea.

We're going to guess at the hat

being a trilby hat.

Trilby hat. Neil and John,

you can talk us through the board.

We would struggle. Yeah, we don't really know either.

We think we are going to go

for the second one as Adolf Hitler.

OK, you're going to say Adolf Hitler the fascist leader lampooned in The Great Dictator.

So we have from Steven and Graham a trilby hat.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said the trilby hat.

Bad luck, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means Neil and John, you merely have to be correct

with your answer to win this question

and go straight through to the final.

OK, so you are saying that Hitler was the fascist leader

lampooned in The Great Dictator.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Yep, you've done it.

APPLAUSE

38 people said Adolf Hitler, but all you had to be was right.

That means after only two questions, Neil and John,

-you are through to the final, 2-0.

-Well played, Neil and John.

It's not often you get to say that Adolf Hitler beats a trilby hat, is it?

It's one of the nice things about Pointless. Let's go through the rest of the board.

If you'd guessed what year he was born, what do you think you would have gone for?

-1899.

-Well, nearly - it's 1889, actually.

He was actually born four days before Hitler, who he went on to satirise.

That would have scored you 4 points.

The fourth wife with whom he had eight children was Oona O'Neill.

That would have scored you 10.

The type of hat worn by his tramp character -

not a trilby, a bowler hat.

He famously wore a bowler hat. That would have scored you 45 points,

so it would have lost you the point anyway, actually.

And the last feature film he acted in is a pointless answer.

Very well done at home if you said A Countess From Hong Kong.

That's a pretty tough board, apart from a couple of obvious ones.

It was a tough board, so very well done if you did well on that board.

Very good. Well, thank you very much, Richard.

So at the end of the head-to-head the losing pair, I'm afraid, is Steven and Graham.

Well, you've made it thus far which is pretty impressive.

You were out first round with 200 in the last Pointless you played.

This time, stormed it through to the head-to-head.

-Did you enjoy the finches and tits round?

-LAUGHTER

-Yes. Very much.

-Um, it's been lovely having you on the show.

Steven and Graham, I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye,

but you've been fantastic contestants. Great having you on. Thanks.

APPLAUSE

But for Neil and John, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations Neil and John. You have fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,250.

APPLAUSE

Well, you played it nice and steadily.

You made it look pretty easy.

You were the lowest scoring pair in the first two rounds taken together

and then in that head-to-head you saw off the others 2-0. Very, very easy victory there.

So this ought to be quite simple for you.

You just need some good categories.

Maybe some organic chemistry would be very good.

Well, listen - very, very best of luck. The rules are very simple.

To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today,

you only have to find one now and you will go home with that £2,250.

First, though, you've got to choose a category.

Here are your five options. Best of luck. You can choose from...

Definitely not Literary Awards.

-Yeah. Or Radio, I think.

-Yeah.

I'd probably be able to have a bash

at Rock Bands or Film Adaptations,

but you know you're very confident on your golf.

I'm not very confident, but I know a little bit about golf.

Yeah, nicely done, John. Yeah. Play it down.

-Yeah, we'll go with Golf Courses.

-OK, Golf Courses.

Neil, you're just going to rely on John's golf course expertise here.

-Interesting.

-Very good, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes - we gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Ryder Cup golf courses as they could. Richard?

Yes, we're looking for any host venue that has held the Ryder Cup

since the Ryder Cup became the USA versus Europe in 1979.

Very best of luck, guys.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £2,250

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Are you ready? OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right, we've got Valderrama.

Valhalla, they were quite recent.

-K Club in Ireland, I think.

-That's quite a good one.

-Muirfield.

I think there's a Muirfield in the States which has held it as well

called Muirfield Village, so I'd go with that one.

-That's a good obscure one, yeah.

-Um...

I'd go with, probably, Valhalla. I can't really think of anything else.

-And Valderrama.

-Yeah, they're good ones.

-I mean, is there any more... I guess we'd go for American courses.

-Valhalla's American.

That was an American one? Yeah, that was an American one.

-I'd avoid British courses.

-Congressional something...

-I don't mind congressionals.

-Any other European ones?

-Has been held much in Europe?

-I can't really think.

I think I'd just go with those, I think.

-Yeah, because I think the Irish one was quite famous recently.

-Yeah.

And most of the British ones people will get, to be honest.

Ten seconds left.

They had Celtic Manor this year, but I think that's still quite...

-I'm happy with those three answers, yeah?

-Yeah, so we'll go with...?

OK, your time is up. We were looking for Ryder Cup golf courses

and I now need your three answers.

-OK, we'll go with Valhalla.

-Valhalla.

-Valderrama.

-Valderrama.

And I think there's one in the States called Muirfield Village or something.

Muirfield Village. Now, of those three,

which do think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Probably the third one.

-Muirfield Village.

Muirfield Village, we'll put that last.

-And your least likely pointless answer?

-I'd say Valderrama.

-Valderrama, yeah.

-Valderrama, OK. So we'll put Valderrama first.

OK, let's put them up on the board in that order and here they come.

We have got Valderrama, Valhalla and Muirfield Village.

It sounds to me like you're pretty clued-up on golf, John.

-I play a little bit of golf, yes.

-You play a bit, do you watch the Ryder Cup?

-Do you watch a lot of golf?

-Yeah, usually, yeah.

-OK.

And these sound like good answers to me. But I don't know anything.

OK, we were looking for Ryder Cup golf courses.

Valderrama, you said, was your least confident answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer, remember,

to win that £2,250 jackpot.

OK, let's see. Valderrama.

Is it right, how many people said it?

Valderrama, this for £2,250.

It's right.

Now, if this goes straight down to 0,

you will be leaving here with £2,250.

Still going down. Into single figures... Ooh, 6.

APPLAUSE

So six of our 100 people knew Valderrama,

so therefore unfortunately it's not a pointless answer.

Which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot, £2,250.

Neil, what would you do with £2,250?

My girlfriend is coming to the end of her PhD.

-so I'd like to treat her to a holiday.

-Can I just make...

Is she, I'm just going to guess, organic chemistry?

-It's actually not, actually. It's nanotechnology, so...

-LAUGHTER

Very, very good. Now then, John.

Yeah, I'd like to go on a holiday too.

-I think I might go to Australia or somewhere like that. I'd love to go there.

-Excellent.

We are looking for Ryder Cup golf courses.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Valhalla.

It has to be correct and it has to be pointless.

Now, how did you come to this answer?

I just seem to remember it because it's quite a recent American one, I think.

But just from watching it really, that's all.

-OK, and the name just stuck?

-Yeah.

-OK, well, very best of luck.

For £2,250, let's see how many people said Valhalla.

It's right. Now, Valderrama took you down to 6.

If Valhalla can take you all the way down to 0,

you leave here with £2,250.

It's still going down, it's still going down...

-Yes, you've done it! Very well done indeed.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Second answer.

That's brilliant. Superb.

Oh, congratulations, Neil and John.

Valhalla was a pointless answer,

which means that you go home with our jackpot of £2,250.

John, very well done.

-Also Neil, very well done letting John take the lead there.

-APPLAUSE

-Great answer there. Richard.

-Yeah, well played, Neil and John.

Terrific answer. And as you say, quite a recent one,

2008 the Ryder Cup was played in the Valhalla, which is in Louisville, Kentucky.

Muirfield Village also a pointless answer.

APPLAUSE

And there's only eight pointless answers in all,

so you got 25% of the available pointless answers there.

Very well done. Let's take a look at all the pointless answers.

See if you got any of these at home. Kiawah Island on South Carolina was a pointless answer.

There's Muirfield Village, which is named after Muirfield in Scotland. Jack Nicklaus designed it.

It's the first place that Europe had beaten America on home soil. Not the last place though,

because we also did it at the Oak Hill Country Club. That was a pointless answer.

We also beat them in Oakland Hills, another pointless answer.

PGA National was pointless,

The Greenbrier which held the 1979 Ryder Cup.

There's Valhalla and the one European course there,

Walton Heath, which held the 1981 Ryder Cup.

Very well done if you got any of those at home, but very, very well done to you guys.

Terrific answers, terrific play all the way through.

-Did you know any of the others?

-No, none of them.

-Oh, really?

Well, as Richard says, you got fully 25%

of the available pointless answers so I think you can feel quite happy with yourselves.

Well, thanks once again to our winning players Neil and John

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,250.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd