Episode 51 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the aim is to score as few points as you can.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Welcome, Shelley and Bryan - you're our first pair on the show today.

-How do you two know each other?

-We met through a friend at university,

who went to the same university as I did -

Bryan went to Glasgow, so it was at a house party.

And then one Glastonbury, it was just the two of us.

And I worked my magic!

-Just the two of you?!

-Well, there were other people there as well.

-It seemed like it was just the two of us!

-That's a good Glastonbury!

-A bit of music would be good for you?

-Yes, music would be very good.

Shelley, what do you do?

I'm an usher at the Northern Ireland Assembly.

-At Stormont?

-Yes, I work at Stormont.

-How long have you done that for?

-Just over a year.

Fantastic. Bryan, what do you do?

I'm a civil servant, working for the DoE in Belfast.

-Is it useful to have someone on the inside at Stormont?

-Always useful!

I bet it is!

Do you have any niche hobbies, any interests?

I quite like movies which are so bad, they're good.

Any other niche interests of yours, Shelley?

Probably music. I've worked in record shops from the age of 16.

I started off through Virgin, independent to HMV,

and then went into politics, so...

If we were to start a Pointless Academy,

along the lines of the Brit Academy,

where they sort of hothouse people,

you two sound like you might as well have been in the Pointless Academy.

You've covered so many bases there.

I thought we weren't to talk about the Pointless Academy!

First rule of the Pointless Academy...

Don't talk about the Pointless Academy!

Second rule of the Pointless Academy - shoes off at the door.

Yeah?

Because of the parquet flooring.

Anyway, Shelley and Bryan, welcome to Pointless.

It's great to have you on the show - best of luck.

Next, welcome back Nick and Rob - you were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

This is your second chance. Remind us how you know each other.

We work together for an online advertising firm.

And Rob, what happened last time?

Animated characters and their partners.

Ah, yes, Dixie - we put Dixie together with Top Cat.

What would you not like to see come up, Rob?

Classical music would be bad, mythology,

anything to do with the Bible or religion.

Nick, how about you?

The same as Rob, but I'd probably add in wildlife,

words, food and drink, fashion...

-LAUGHTER

-A large number of subjects.

Do you have any niche hobbies? I keep asking this,

because usually in Pointless, this is where

people find the most wonderful answers.

Well, I kind of like records and music,

and have got quite an extensive collection - and film.

So, music, you have a very good knowledge of music? Oh...

-No, don't say that, but...

-Listen, Nick and Rob,

it's great to have you back on the show. Very best of luck today.

Next we welcome Tracy and Tora - how do you two know each other?

We met on our first day at Sandhurst, almost 16 years ago.

-Are you still in the Army?

-Yes.

-Tora, you, too?

-Yes.

-Which regiments are you in?

-I'm in the Royal Army Medical Corps.

-Tora?

-Royal Logistics Corps.

-Royal Logistics...

Can I say that again? It's "Logistic".

-Royal Logistic Corps.

-Yeah.

So, British geography - in fact world geography,

-as a logistician.

-Yes.

Tracey - what do you like to do when you're not being a medic?

Er, read crime fiction and spend most of my time at the cinema.

Oh, right!

-What are your favourite films?

-Mostly, anything

with Tom Cruise - I know, I'm very shallow.

I never saw that!

Tom Cruise - nothing wrong with Tom Cruise.

Anything you wouldn't like to see come up, Tracy?

Erm, football.

It's my real, er, worst subject.

So you would be lost if there was a football question?

-And Tora, you, too?

-No, I wouldn't be lost,

-so thankfully, strengths and weaknesses...

-It was just empathy.

-I'd be fine!

-You'd be fine. OK! Very best of luck,

Tracy and Tora - great to have you here.

And finally, Siobhan and Andy - how do you two know each other?

This is my wife - we've been married for five years now.

Many congratulations. Siobhan, where are you from?

From Portsmouth. I moved down there for university -

originally I'm from Guildford.

-Right. And Andy, what do you do?

-I'm a geography teacher.

Ah! Geography teacher!

Ah! Welcome.

Listen, welcome. And geography, of all the subjects,

geography bleeds into everything on Pointless.

-What age do you teach?

-Secondary school.

And will they all be watching now?

Yeah, I think most of them will be watching.

-OK, very good. So, let's hope some geography comes up, Andy!

-Yeah!

What do you like to do as a hobby, Siobhan?

Well, I really, really like the band Hanson.

So, normally, dancing around my house to Hanson!

-Ha... As in MMMBop?

-As in MMMBop, yes.

I've seen them live seven times.

-Seven times?

-Seven, yep.

-Andy, do your pupils

know about this?

They do now, yes.

-No-one's going to take the mick, are they?

-It's all out,

Hanson - good stuff!

Very, very best of luck, it's great to have you here.

We'll find out more about all of you as we go along.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He's the Torquemada of tea-time trivia, he's my Pointless friend,

he's Richard!

Hiya. Hello. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Now, interestingly,

it's our 299th show today.

-Ha! Is it?!

-Yeah.

-Wow!

-They've gone by in the twinkling of an eye!

-Haven't they just?!

-299th show? Hang on, hang on...

-Yeah?

Our... Our next show will be our... 300th show, is that right?

It will be our 300th show.

Now, I was going to surprise you on our 300th show,

and give you a little present.

-That was my plan.

-OK, yes.

But what I decided to do is tell you I'm going to do that,

to put a bit of pressure on you

to maybe think of getting me a present as well.

LAUGHTER

300 is going to be awesome, but 299 is going to be

an extraordinary aperitif to the 300th, I think. One returning pair,

that's Nick and Rob, who...

didn't cover themselves in glory last time, a bit unlucky,

but they look like the type of people who win Pointless, to me.

OK. All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show,

but we're looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To be in with a chance of winning the jackpot,

our players need to score as few points as they possibly can.

Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer,

one which none of our 100 people knew, and when that happens,

we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £2,250.

APPLAUSE AUDIENCE: Whoo!

OK. If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer,

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer,

you will score the maximum of 100 points,

so avoid those if you can.

Our first category today is...

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

-LAUGHTER

Hey! It's football managers, Tracy!

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

and who second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Here comes the question. We gave 100 people

100 seconds to name as many Premier League managers

at the start of the 2011/12 season

-as they could. Richard...

-Yes, we're looking for the name

of any manager who was in charge of

any of the 20 teams in the Barclays Premier League

at the start of the 2011/2012 season, please.

First names and surnames we need. Anyone who's in charge

on the first day of the season. Very best of luck.

Thank you very much, Richard. Now, Shelley and Bryan,

you all drew lots before the show and today you are going first.

Oh, Shelley!

It's all right, it's OK, I'm not too worried about it.

-Right.

-But I'm not sure if they were there at the very start,

so I'm going to just take a guess...

-OK.

-..and go with Steve Bruce.

Steve Bruce, says Shelley. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people

said Steve Bruce.

It's correct!

Very well done, Shelley, that's a great answer.

Lovely low score.

11 for Steve Bruce.

APPLAUSE

Good start, Shelley. He was the Sunderland manager

at the start of the season, replaced fairly quickly

by Martin O'Neill. As we record a bit in advance, a few of these people

I suspect may have lost their jobs by the time this goes out,

so I'll give you odds on whether they'll still be in their jobs.

-Excellent.

-Steve Bruce? He's already gone.

-Already gone.

-Yep.

-Now, then, Rob...

-OK.

-Is this good for you?

-This is so much better,

you can't believe it.

-Good.

-OK. I think I'm going to go for Brendan Rodgers

of Swansea City.

Brendan Rodgers of Swansea City. Is it right, and if it is,

how many people said it?

It's right.

Oh! Very well done, Rob!

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done - that's more like it.

-Three for Brendan Rodgers.

-Great answer, Rob.

He's done a brilliant job at Swansea as well, Brendan Rodgers,

so he will... Unless someone even bigger picks him up,

he'll definitely still be there.

Guarantee. They love him down there.

-Tora?

-He was the one...!

I had him in my head and I haven't got anyone else

other than Kenny Dalglish.

Kenny Dalglish, says Tora. Let's see if it's right, and if it is,

how many people said Kenny Dalglish.

It's right.

17!

-APPLAUSE

-It's not a bad score, Tora.

-17 for Kenny Dalglish.

-Yeah, well played, Tora,

not a bad back-up answer, it's his second spell at Liverpool.

OK, thanks very much. Now, then, Siobhan - remember,

we are looking for Premier League managers

at the start of the 2011/2012 season.

This is out of my comfort zone.

I'm going to try, and hopefully,

it will be...an OK answer,

Harry Redknapp.

Harry Redknapp, says Siobhan. Harry Redknapp...

It's right.

22!

APPLAUSE

Not bad, as a fall-back position.

22, for Harry Redknapp.

Safe answer. He was manager of Tottenham at the start of the season.

-When this goes out, who knows?

-Who knows?

Maybe England manager.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

Rob, that was a wonderful

answer from you.

Lovely low score of three. Then we come up to 11,

where we find Shelley and Bryan!

Then up to 17, where we find Tora and Tracy.

Then up to 22, where we find Siobhan and Andy.

Really pretty close grouping.

Rob and Nick are quite comfortably below the rest of you.

Andy, you're the highest scorers, so we'll need a lovely,

low-scoring answer from you in the next part.

Coming back down the line,

can the second players please take their places at the podium?

Now, Andy, considering how far out of her comfort zone Siobhan was,

22 wasn't a bad score at all.

Do you have a really good, low-scoring answer, though?

-I feel I need to take a bit of a chance.

-You are the high scorers,

but only by five points.

I think the Norwich manager is Paul Lambert?

Paul Lambert, says Andy - Norwich City.

Let's see if it's right, and if so, how many people said Paul Lambert.

There's no red line for you, as you are the high scorers.

It's right!

That's a great answer!

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done, Andy.

Our joint lowest score.

Takes your total up to 25.

Very well played, Andy.

A sigh of relief as well. Everyone watching you is now

going to be grudgingly impressed. Paul Lambert -

he's going to stick around as well, he's done a very good job.

There we are. Now, then, Tracy,

we are looking for Premier League managers

at the start of the 2011/12 season.

-Hm-hmm!

-The high scorers are Andy and Siobhan

at the moment, on 25, you're on 17.

That means a score of seven or less

will see you through to the next round.

I've got a suspicion that's not going to happen.

I knew, er, all but two of the answers given so far,

so I'm now struggling.

Which leads me to say...

Arsene Wenger.

Arsene Wenger, says Tracy.

There is your red line - it's quite low.

If you are below that red line, you're through to the next round.

Arsene Wenger - how many people said that?

It's right.

30.

APPLAUSE

That takes your total up to 47.

-Richard.

-Yes, a correct answer, and it keeps you in the round.

It's the right thing to do. Arsenal manager since 1996.

It's a long old time.

I wouldn't want to predict he'll go.

He's going to go sooner or later.

Now, then, Nick... Rob, lovely low score of three,

that's his legacy to you. The high scorers at the moment are 47.

If you can score 43 or less,

you are through to the next round.

As a Nottingham Forest fan, I don't look at the Premier League often,

but QPR's manager at the start of the season was Neil Warnock.

Neil Warnock, says Nick.

There is your red line -

if Neil Warnock gets you below that red line,

you are in the next round. Neil Warnock -

how many people said that?

It's right.

Yep, you've done it.

Very well done!

APPLAUSE

It scores you three.

Three seems to be the score for the more

obscure football managers.

-Richard.

-Yes, they're looking even more like the type of people

who win Pointless now, aren't they? Warnock was manager of QPR

at the start of the season, but he was sacked in January 2012.

Thank you very much. Now, then, Bryan,

everything is in your hands.

At the moment, Tracy and Tora are the high scorers.

You are on 11,

they're on 47. If you can score 35 or less,

you are through. How's football for you?

Pretty good, yeah. I've got a few,

but I think I'll go for Owen Coyle.

Owen Coyle.

There is your red line. Get below that,

and you're in the next round. How many people said Owen Coyle?

Yep, you've done it.

Four!

APPLAUSE

Four takes your total up to 15.

Owen Coyle...

Well played, everybody, a very low-scoring round. Bolton manager,

not having a great season, but I think he'll stick around,

because he's very good. We've heard most

of the low-scoring answers - Brendan Rodgers, Neil Warnock, Paul Lambert

all scored three, no-one scored less than three.

Only one other manager scored three, the Chelsea manager,

believe it or not, Andre Villas-Boas.

Other low-scorers - Owen Coyle, four,

Martin Jol, the Fulham manager, scored four, no-one said him -

the best manager in the league. LAUGHTER

-Strange.

-Let's take a look at the high scorers,

that most of our 100 said.

Siobhan gave us Harry Redknapp, he was the third highest scorer.

Tracy gave us Arsene Wenger.

Who would you imagine is top there?

-Ferguson, of course.

-Sir Alex Ferguson, yep.

Other scores -

we've seen Kenny Dalglish, Alex McLeish would have scored ten,

David Moyes, eight, Steve Kean and Tony Pulis, seven,

Alan Pardew, six.

Excellent. Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of the first round,

the losing pair, with the highest score,

is Tracy and Tora! Oh, dear!

You did say you didn't want sport.

Arsene Wenger wasn't a bad answer,

just a high score there. Never mind.

We will see you again next time,

when maybe logistics will come up, and maybe

some medical questions, too, and you'll get past the first round.

Meanwhile, thanks so much for playing, Tracy and Tora!

APPLAUSE

For the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

There's only room for two pairs in our head-to-head round,

so one of these teams will be leaving at the end of this round.

After that first round, Nick and Rob, whoa, what a change!

There we were!

-It was a good subject for us, definitely.

-It was great!

Lovely low score there.

In fact, the lowest possible score, a total of six.

They would seem to be the pair to beat. Our category for round two

is...

Music. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first and who second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Right, so, our question concerns...

Singers and their bands, Richard.

On each pass we'll give you the names of six vocalists -

can you tell us the band with which they are most associated?

An obscure one, fewer points. Incorrect answer, as always,

100 points. 12 vocalists in all,

to have a go at at home, see if you can get all 12.

So, we're looking for the bands with which these vocalists

are most closely associated,

and we have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

So, there they are.

Six vocalists - there are six bands behind them.

Bryan, you have to put the most obscure vocalist and band together.

I don't know if it's going to be the most obscure,

but I just can't not say Public Enemy,

the greatest band of all time - Flavor Flav.

Flavor Flav, Public Enemy, says Bryan, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Public Enemy.

Absolutely right.

Wow!

-APPLAUSE

-Three!

Good answer. Public Enemy.

Well played, Bryan, three points.

William Drayton is Flavor Flav's real name.

-Best band of all time, you think?

-Oh, yes. Certainly in my life anyway,

the most important band of my life.

What's your view on Public Enemy?

-Erm, OK.

-LAUGHTER

I think they're... I think they're fine.

-I'm less acquainted with Public Enemy.

-Are you?

-It's an area

of music... I've had Public Enemy played to me by people.

Yeah. You remind me a lot of Terminator X. You've got a lot of...

-I...

-You have a lot of his bearing.

-Yeah. As mean.

-Yeah, that's right!

Yeah, yeah. I get that a lot.

-Shall we?

-Anyway, let's do it.

Now, then, Nick -

we're looking for the bands with which these vocalists

are most closely associated.

-Yeah, erm...

-Does this...? Are we continuing

-in a good vein for you? I hope so.

-I hope so, yeah.

I'm going to go with Gerard Way,

and My Chemical Romance.

Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance. Let's see if that's right

and how many people knew that answer.

It's right.

Very, very well done indeed, Nick!

Gerard Way scores you six.

APPLAUSE

Good start to the round. Two very, very good answers.

He's also a comic writer, Gerard Way,

and he's got a daughter called Bandit.

Bandit Way!

-Bandit Way.

-Wow!

I'm going to come out and say I'm a very big My Chemical Romance fan.

I know I'm much too old for it.

But Welcome To The Black Parade, you could do worse than listen to that.

I'm taking all these things away, I've got My Chemical Romance,

-I've got Public Enemy... Phfff!

-Yep.

That is me sorted for the autumn!

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Siobhan,

you're the last person to have this board,

so you can fill in all of the bands if you like.

I'm pretty sure I know the rest of those answers.

But hoping that you didn't ask a lot of teenage girls,

I'm going to go with Harry Styles

and One Direction.

Who's your favourite in One Direction?

I don't know because I don't really know who they are.

-Really?

-Yeah. I know I really like Hanson,

but that's no reflection on the rest of my music taste.

-What about The Wanted?

-I'm not really sure who they are, either!

OK! Wow!

-Pff! Fancy that!

-I'm sorry!

Let's talk more about One Direction if we

-find out if this is right or not.

-OK, all right.

-Get that cleared up.

Let's see if Harry Styles is indeed in One Direction.

That's what Siobhan is submitting.

Is it right? How many people said it?

18 points for One Direction.

Yeah, now Bryan, this is where you and I come to blows, I'm afraid.

If you are suggesting, for one second,

that Public Enemy's contribution to the history of recorded music

is in some way superior to that of One Direction,

then we are going to fall out.

There we go.

Let's fill in the rest of the board.

-Frankie Valli.

-Four Seasons.

Absolutely right, would have scored 42.

-Jarvis Cocker.

-Pulp.

-Yep, exactly right, 35.

-The biggest score on the board, George Michael.

-Wham!

Oh, it's Snappy Snaps, I'm afraid! No, you're right, it was Wham!

-Would have scored 91 points!

-Cor.

You know, George Michael is genuinely a national treasure, isn't he?

-He is.

-He really is.

-He is. And a really, actually a very nice person.

Genuinely lovely man.

And 91 people knew he was in Wham!

-That's pretty good name recognition.

-That's lasting affection.

-Keeps himself in the news.

-He certainly does.

-He certainly does.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

3, Bryan, 3!

Bryan and Shelley, once again looking very strong for the next round.

Nick and Rob on 6.

Siobhan and Andy, 18 ain't bad, but you are quite far,

fully three times the score of your nearest rival.

So, Andy, you know what you have to do in the next part.

We're coming back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more vocalists on the board,

Here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

Remember, you're looking for the bands with which these vocalists are most closely associated.

Obviously, as always on Pointless,

you want to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Andy, you're the highest scorers on 18.

What we need from you is a dazzlingly low score.

I know a few, but I don't think they'll give me my dazzlingly low score.

I'm going to go to the back of my head because, for some reason,

James Hetfield is saying Metallica, to me. So I'm just going to go with that.

Metallica, says Andy, for James Hetfield.

Metallica, is that right? How many people said it?

No red line for you, because you are the high scorers.

James Hetfield, Metallica?

Very well done, Andy, that's perfect, good answer.

Oh!

APPLAUSE

It did everything it needed to do, Andy. That's wonderful.

Scores you two, our lowest score so far.

Takes your total up to 20, very well done indeed.

A very good answer and a very gutsy answer, Andy, very well done.

-What an awesome geography teacher.

-Yeah.

-Don't you think?

-Yeah.

-Amazing.

-I'm just wondering if I might just do a geography GCSE.

I've been making a relief map while we've been playing the round!

LAUGHTER

-That's not bad!

-Could you do a correspondence course, Andy?

You'd be more than welcome.

If someone said you were the world's greatest geography teacher,

is that something you would take on board, or would you be, bat it off?

Depends who says it.

-I'm saying it!

-Then I will take it on board.

World's official... Official. World's greatest geography teacher.

No going back.

He can now say, "World's greatest geography teacher, BBC One".

Exactly, you can have that.

Now then, Rob, the highest scorers are Andy and Siobhan on 20.

You are on 6. Which means a score of 13 or less from you

will see you through to the head-to-head.

There's some fairly big answers there,

so it's a case of trying to pick the one that's going to work.

I think this is the only one that'll do it,

I think Peter Cetera is the lead singer of Chicago.

Peter Cetera, the lead singer of Chicago, says Rob.

Here comes your red line.

Below that, you are definitely in the head-to-head.

Peter Cetera, Chicago, is it right, how many people said it?

It's right.

You've done it, five.

APPLAUSE

Five for Peter Cetera takes your total up to 11.

-Richard?

-I doff my cap again.

Terrific answer, very well played. Very well played.

-This is very exciting, isn't it?

-Hm.

A real nail-biter. Shelley, it's all in your hands.

The highest scorers are Andy and Siobhan on 20. You are on 3.

A score of 16 or less will see you into the head-to-head.

I'm not sure any of those are going to score less than 16.

-You worked in a record shop.

-I know them all. Mick Jagger's the Rolling Stones.

Bryan Ferry is Roxy Music. Morrissey, the Smiths, Joe Strummer's The Clash.

But I'm not sure which one's going to score the lowest.

I wanted Metallica, so... um.

-I'll go with Joe Strummer and The Clash.

-OK.

Joe Strummer, The Clash.

Well, phew, there's your red line.

Of all the people,

is Joe Strummer going to get you below that red line?

Joe Strummer, is it right, how many people said it?

It's correct.

You've done it!

Ha ha!

APPLAUSE

Brilliantly done, 15 for The Clash.

Takes the total up to 18. Richard?

Brilliant round. Brilliant end to a brilliant round.

It's the first time in the history of this round that the six answers

have been the six best possible answers anyone could have said at any given time.

So, terrifically played everybody.

Also, Nick, Rob and Andy have given the best possible answer

to every single question they've answered so far as well.

Bryan had one point more in the first round. So, incredible playing by all three teams.

Really, really unfortunate to have been knocked out there.

Probably the best performance by someone knocked out, as well.

Let's take a look at the other three.

Joe Strummer's the only one who'd have won it for you, the perfect choice.

Mick Jagger, Rolling Stones, would have scored you 89 points.

Less than George Michael!

Bryan Ferry, Roxy Music, would have scored you 47.

And Morrisey, vocalist with The Smiths, most famously, 39 points.

Very well played, everybody, very well played anyone at home who got all 12 of those.

Thanks very much. What a great round, fantastically played.

Inevitably, we have to have a high scorer.

And Andy and Siobhan, I'm afraid it's you. But, like the man says,

you couldn't have done any better.

-No.

-It was just the way it fell, I'm afraid.

Andy, Siobhan, we must say goodbye,

but we will look forward to seeing you again next time,

when I have no doubt you will go much, much further.

Thanks so much for playing. Great contestants, thank you.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get even more exciting in the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Nick and Rob, Shelley and Bryan,

you are one round away from the final,

and a chance to play for the jackpot which currently stands at £2,250.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Only one pair can pay that money.

To decide which pair it's going to be,

you're going to go head-to-head on the best of three questions.

The first pair to win two questions will play for the jackpot,

and you are now allowed to confer.

If we add up all your points from the first two rounds,

there's only 16 between you.

As Richard has said,

it's been a very, very low-scoring Pointless so far.

But Nick and Rob just about pip it.

It's going to be a very, very exciting third round.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK. Here comes your first question. And it concerns World Squares.

We're going to show you five pictures of famous squares from cities around the world.

All you have to do is name that square.

Name that square. OK, let's reveal our five squares.

And here they come.

So there we have them.

Five squares.

Now, Nick and Rob, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you get to go first.

OK, we hope this is right, we're going to go for B,

and we're going to say the Place de la Concorde in Paris.

Place de la Concorde, B? OK.

Shelley and Bryan, you can do all your talking out loud, if you like.

Well, we don't know A. We didn't know B.

-What did you say C was?

-I think C's Red Square.

D's Times Square. And E, which is what we're going to go for,

we think is the Dam Square, in Amsterdam.

The Dam Square?

So we have B, Place de la Concorde.

And we have E, Dam Square.

In the order they were given, Nick and Rob said

Place de la Concorde for B. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said it?

It's right.

Nine.

APPLAUSE

That's a great answer, nine for Place de la Concorde.

Now, Shelley and Bryan, you are saying Dam Square.

Is that a punt, or do...

No, I've been to Amsterdam many times.

But, you know, I saw it and I know it, but then it was like...

-We didn't see it at that angle!

-Yeah, we didn't see that!

Is actually called the Dam Square?

OK, the Dam Square, say Shelley and Bryan. Let's see if Dam Square is right.

If it is, let's see how many people said that?

Nine is what you had to beat.

Yep, it's right.

Now, will it go down below nine?

Yes, it will. Oh!

CHEERING

That's a Pointless answer!

It adds £250 to today's jackpot,

Takes the total up to £2,500.

It scores you nothing, and it means you win that question.

After one question, Shelley and Bryan are ahead 1-0. Richard?

-Yeah, three words: Best Pointless ever!

-Yeah.

Once again, two best answers on the board there.

Once again, extraordinary scoring from everybody on this show.

Let's go through the others.

Xander, do you want to have a go at the others, A?

Yes. That's our very own Trafalgar Square.

London's Trafalgar Square. That would have scored you 27 points.

Beautiful day, where did they superimpose that?

LAUGHTER

-I think that's why it scored 27 points, isn't it?

-I see!

It looks like it's in Spain.

-C?

-Red Square.

-Red Square, as you rightly said as well.

Would have scored 43.

And we've had that already, Times Square.

Times Square, absolutely. That's the biggest score of all.

-It would have scored you 66 points.

-Wow.

-Considerably more than Trafalgar Square.

Guys, brilliant answers, the two best answers on the board, as you see there.

Very good, Nick and Rob, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Here it comes, your second question, it concerns -

We're going to show you the names of five actresses now

who've won a Best Actress Oscar.

But we've removed alternate letters from their names.

Can you identify the most obscure from this list, please?

The very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five Best Actress Oscar winners,

and we have got -

There we are. There are the five Oscar-winning actresses.

Now then, Shelley and Bryan, you go first this time.

SHE TALKS INAUDIBLY

OK, Shelley and Bryan, which one are you going to go for?

The fourth one down, Jessica Tandy.

Jessica Tandy, the fourth one down. Jessica Tandy.

OK, Nick and Rob. You can talk us through them all, if you like?

-That won't take long.

-Well, there's only four of them.

No, that's not the problem.

We can see Gwyneth Paltrow there. Tessa... Er...

We're going to have to go with Gwyneth Paltrow, I'm afraid.

OK, Gwyneth Paltrow at the bottom.

There we are, Gwyneth Paltrow.

And Jessica Tandy.

In the order they were given, Shelley and Bryan said Jessica Tandy.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Jessica Tandy?

Yep.

12 for Jessica Tandy.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Shelley and Bryan.

Nick and Bob, you've gone for Gwyneth Paltrow,

let's see how many people spotted that?

It's right.

Bad luck.

APPLAUSE

Well done, guys.

That means, after two questions only,

Shelley and Bryan are through to the final, 2-0. Richard?

Well played, although, for the first time, not the best answer on the board.

Number two and number three, both very famous.

-Can you do the top one?

-I can, Reese Witherspoon.

-Top is Reese Witherspoon.

You'd have scored 21, so that wouldn't have won you the point.

-Do you know the next one down?

-Kate Winslet.

Kate Winslet, absolutely right. That would have scored nine points.

-But the best odds on board is third down.

-Nicole Kidman.

-Nicole Kidman.

Oh, Australian!

Nicole Kidman. That would have scored you six points.

Really, really tough, that.

The most famous actresses getting the smallest points.

Very well done if you went through that board at home, very impressive.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of the head-to-head, the losing pair, I'm afraid,

it's Nick and Bob.

You played so well throughout this show.

It's been a really great Pointless show, this.

Such low scores from everyone.

Place de la Concorde, cracking answer in the first question.

Dam Square, a pointless answer, they just picked it up there.

-They're very good, these guys.

-They are very good indeed.

Round one last time, brilliantly through to the head-to-head this time.

I'm afraid it's the end of the road.

Nick and Rob, great contestants. Thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But, for Shelley and Bryan, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Shelley and Bryan,

you fought off all the competition,

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

In today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, as we've said all the way through, it's been a brilliant show.

Lovely low scores in all rounds.

You've stormed it through.

You even found a pointless answer in our head-to-head,

which very rarely happens.

You truly have earned your place in the final.

The rules are very simple. To win that money,

you have find a pointless answer.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today, which was yours.

You only have to find one more and you go home with the jackpot.

Firstly, you must choose a category.

-You can choose from these five options.

-They are -

-Which one do you fancy? There's only two in there which...

-What do you think?

-American boy bands.

-No, I'm not having that.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Politics or 20th-century novelists.

I don't know anything about Formula One.

If you're prepared to take the...

-Hold on, you don't know that many American boy bands, do you?

-I don't know, maybe I do.

-Do you?

Maybe they're all stored somewhere in here. I don't know.

-If you want 20th-century novelists, we'll do that.

-Shall we go for that?

We'll go for 20th-century novelists.

20th century novelists, let's find out what question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Graham Greene novels as they could.

Graham Greene novels, Richard?

Any of the completed full-length novels of Graham Greene.

We won't accept any short stories, plays, anthologies, non-fiction,

or novellas such as The Third Man.

Just any of the full-length novels of Graham Greene. Very best of luck.

Thank you very much.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £2,500 is

for just one of those answers to be pointless.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

All I know is The Quiet American, and Brighton Rock.

-Is that all you know?

-I think, aye.

I only know Brighton Rock, I don't know any Graham Greene novels.

-Come on. You did English.

-All right, hang on.

Think out loud.

Graham Greene, Graham Greene?

Oh no, that was Anthony Burgess. Um.

Come on. You can do it.

-Is there one about a seaside?

-Let's hope so.

Um...

Countries, cars? Anything like that?

-Towns.

-Um...

-Movies, are there movies?

-I don't know.

Um...

10 seconds left.

CONTESTANTS LAUGH

This is where refusing American boy band gets you!

All right, I'll just make one up.

Make one up. Yeah.

OK, that's your time up.

We were looking for Graham Greene novels. I now need your three answers.

OK, we're going to go for Brighton Rock.

-Yep.

-The Quiet American.

-Quiet American.

And I'm going to make one up. Velvet Sunrise.

-Velvet Sunrise!

-Nice.

We should write that, Richard.

-That's what I'm doing now.

-OK.

OK, of those three answers, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Quiet American.

-Quiet American we'll put last.

-Shall we put Velvet Sunrise first?

-Get it out of the way.

OK, let's put them up on board in that order.

Here they are. We have got -

Ah, Velvet Sunrise! We did that for A-level!

THEY LAUGH

Brighton Rock, The Quiet American. OK.

We were looking for Graham Greene novels.

Velvet Sunrise was least confident shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer

to win that £2,500 jackpot.

Let's see.

Velvet Sunrise, is that right?

Bad luck. But what a cocktail!

THEY LAUGH

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

We knew that. You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

£2,500. What would you do with £2,500, Shelley?

I'd like to spend it all on clothes and shiny things.

But I probably wouldn't be allowed to.

So maybe put it towards a holiday.

A holiday. Bryan?

Clothes and shiny things!

THEY LAUGH

Very good. We're looking for Graham Greene novels. Let's hope nobody said your answer, Brighton Rock.

This has to be right, it has to be pointless.

If it's both of those things, you leave you with £2,500.

How many people said Brighton Rock?

It's right.

OK, it's right, down it goes.

If this keeps going down all the way to zero, you leave here with £2,500.

Down it goes into the teens. 15. 15!

APPLAUSE

15. It's a very famous book. 15!

It's been made it into a film twice.

It's all looking very good for your next answer, I have to say.

So, only one more chance to win today's jackpot.

There it is, The Quiet American.

This has to be right, and it has to be pointless.

If it's both of those things, you leave here with £2,500.

Let's find out. The Quiet American. Is it right? How many people said it?

Very good, it's right.

Now then, Brighton Rock took us all the way down to 15.

The Quiet American is surely going to take us much further down than that.

Down it goes into single figures, if this goes down, ooh!

5!

APPLAUSE

Good answer though.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer, I'm afraid,

So you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500,

which rolls over on to the next show.

You have been amazing contestants.

Just a brilliant performance on Pointless.

And you do get to take home our Pointless trophy. So very well done.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

You played so well throughout this really tough last category.

Velvet Sunrise, not the name of a book, as far as I can make out,

although it is the name of a suspiciously smoky cafe on Dam Square in Amsterdam!

THEY LAUGH

-Let's take a look at the pointless ones.

-Can I have a crack at some?

-You're going to have a go?

-Yeah.

-Go on then.

Honorary Consul?

Honorary Consul would have scored you 2 points.

-Travels With My Aunt?

-Travels With My Aunt would have scored you 3.

Our Man In Havana, no...

No, Our Man In Havana would have scored you 10 points.

-Shall we have a little look?

-Yeah.

I hope you don't recognise any of these.

A Burnt-Out Case, an architect visiting a Congolese leper colony. Didn't think of that?

SHE LAUGHS

Dr Fischer Of Geneva. It's A Battlefield. All pointless.

And there's just three more.

Monsignor Quixote.

His last ever novel, The Captain And The Enemy.

And The Confidential Agent.

-Well, did you know any of those? No.

-No.

-No.

-What a relief.

It's not so bad if you don't know them.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Shelley and Bryan.

It's been brilliant having you.

You've been fantastic contestants, thanks for playing. Brilliant.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, unfortunately, Shelley and Bryan didn't win our jackpot today,

so it rolls over which means, on the next show,

we'll be playing for £3,500.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Join us next time to see if someone can win it, on our 300th Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd