Episode 35 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

First up we welcome Kathryn and James.

How do you two know each other, Kathryn?

We went to the University Of Liverpool together

and we did the same course.

-What was that course, James?

-Geography.

-What do you do now, James?

-I run a market research firm.

-Kathryn, what do you do?

-I'm a train manager.

-Training manager, or train manager?

-Training manager.

-Training...

Oh, that's a shame. It would be brilliant if she was a train manager.

Perhaps she does training on trains, have you asked that?

I'm going to, I'm going to. Do you do training on trains, Kathryn?

-It sounds like a good niche though.

-No, she doesn't. Shame.

What is it you're looking forward to about Pointless?

Any particular category?

Geography and travel I think I'd be quietly confident on.

-James, what are you hoping will come up?

-Well, the same.

If a geography question comes up we're going to be pretty strong.

So you said that having a look at your fellow contestants.

LAUGHTER

You looked at Dinos's shirt and thought, "That's not the shirt of a geographer".

Is that what you're thinking?

-Well now you say it, it does look like a geography teacher's shirt.

-Thank you.

He's a maths teacher, but there we are. We'll come to that.

A very warm welcome to you both, lovely to have you on the show.

Emma and Warren, you were on the show last time, everyone gets two chances

to reach the Pointless final. This is your final chance.

Emma, remind us how you know each other?

He's my father.

Warren, remind us what happened last time?

We had a bit of a disaster last time. We got 200 points.

Well, yes...

I, er, decided to try and be smart and ended up looking like a tube.

-Looking like a what, a tube?

-A tube...

-Have you never heard of that expression?

-Looking like a tube.

-A tube.

I'm telling you now, we have a lot of tubes down here in London.

You don't look remotely like one!

THEY LAUGH

-Warren, anything you're praying doesn't come up today?

-Films.

-OK, yes.

-Erm, literature.

-Right.

-Anagrams.

-And anagrams.

-Spelling.

-OK... Anything else?

-No.

OK, well that's it.

I have very high hopes for you. I think today you're going to do very well, indeed.

Next we welcome back, Abbie and Dinos.

You were also on the show last time. Abbie, remind us how you two know each other?

We both worked at the same cinema chain when we were students.

And, Dinos, tell us what happened last time?

-Last time, we got to the head-to-head...

-You did very well!

Yeah, we went 1-0 up, but then we crashed and burned on ballet, of all things.

-Yeah.

-And Madonna.

-Not our forte.

-Ballet and Madonna.

-Definitely not.

Now then, Abbie, what's going to be your dream Pointless category?

Today it's still popular culture again, I think.

-OK, Dinos?

-I think, you know, wearing this shirt,

I've got the appeal of a seasoned geographer.

If any countries or capitals come up, that should be good.

Kings and queens should be all right, as well.

Also, if we've got any more numbers on the show, Richard, that would be great.

Because, you can count on me.

AUDIENCE GROANS

That's brilliant. That's like blind date, circa 1991.

THEY LAUGH

Abbie, Dinos, we have high hopes for you today. Very best of luck.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Finally, we've got Ian and Gary, welcome to the show. How do you two know each other, Ian?

We work together in the same company in Runcorn.

-What does the company do, Gary?

-We manufacture furniture.

Ian, what are you hoping is going to come up?

-Anything, maybe sport...

-Yeah.

I feel that I'm all right at films.

-Gary, anything you want to add to that?

-Easy questions?

Easy questions, yeah. Occasionally they come up.

What do you like to get up to in your spare time, Gary?

My claim to fame is I was head-hunted to be a dame.

THEY LAUGH

A chap come up to me who I'd known some 20 years ago and said to me,

"Gary, just the man I've been told can be my ugly sister."

THEY LAUGH

Wow! Was it a success, Ian, did you watch Gary's dame?

-Yeah, I did, actually.

-Was it a great dame?

He was pretty good, yeah. He gave us all a song.

Yeah, pretty good.

Will you, will you...

Help!

Listen, Ian, Gary a warm welcome to you. Great to have you on the show.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left to introduce.

He disregards the first answer that pops into his head

and rummages through his brain for obscurity like a child in a toy box.

He's my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

I can't believe you've already pulled Gary.

It's very impressive.

It should be a good show today, we've got two returning pairs and Abbie and Dinos were very good last time.

-Yeah.

-Properly good. Very unlucky to get knocked out.

It's going to take quite something to knock them off their perch.

We didn't see as much of Emma and Warren, as perhaps we'd liked, 200 points.

-But Warren never stops smiling, does he?

-Never.

-It's lovely.

OK, thank you very much, Richard. All our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

In order to get to the final round, and a chance of winning the jackpot,

our contestants need to find those obscure answers our 100 people couldn't get.

The fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer, fewer points are scored.

What everyone's trying to do, of course, is to find a pointless answer,

one that none of our 100 people knew and each time that happens

we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time so we add another £1,000 to that.

Today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer, and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

OK, our first category today is...

Children's Literature.

Can you all decide who's going first and who's going second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns...

Nursery Rhyme Characters. Richard...

We are going to show you seven descriptions of characters as they appear in traditional nursery rhymes.

We need you to give us an obscure answer if you want to score fewer points.

But, give us an incorrect answer, you're going to score 100 points.

There are 14 nursery rhyme characters to have a go at home, very best of luck.

Thanks very much. Kathryn and James, you all drew lots before the show and today you are going first.

We are looking for the nursery rhyme characters described by these clues.

We have got.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, seven clues to nursery rhyme characters.

James, you're going to try and find the most obscure one on the board,

the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

There are a few that I recognise.

There are few nursery rhymes going around in my head right now

that are not making a great deal of sense.

There's definitely a couple which I'm confident on.

So it's choosing which one I feel is going to be the lowest.

I'm going to say, "Old King Cole was a merry old soul".

"Old King Cole," you're going to say for the second one down.

Old King Cole, is it right? How many people knew that answer?

Absolutely right.

Oh! 78.

APPLAUSE

78 for Old King Cole.

A big score to start with, Old King Cole was a merry old soul.

-Very popular soul.

-He was a popular soul, that's why he was so merry.

Yeah, perhaps if he'd done a bit less banging on with his pipe and his drum, perhaps...

It was originally Old King Cole was a miserable soul but he had a long advertising campaign,

advertising in local papers, TV, radio, that sort of thing, and after that everybody knew who he was.

-It really perked him up.

-Yeah.

Good, now then, Warren.

I'm pleased to say that I actually know an answer,

that could be correct.

I think I'm going to go for Little Tommy Tucker sings for his supper.

OK, Little Tommy Tucker, sings for his supper.

Let's see if Little Tommy Tucker's right and, if it is, how many people said that.

Very well done, it's right.

Oh, it's a low score, look at that! Down it goes 18! Warren.

APPLAUSE

That's more like it, Warren,

very well done, indeed.

Well played, Warren, that's a proper smile now. 1744, that first appears.

Little Tommy Tucker, tended to be a name given to orphans.

-It's about an orphan.

-Oh...

-Yeah.

-Abbie?

-There's a few that I do know

but I think I'm going to go for Lucy Locket lost her pocket.

Lucy Locket, one up from the bottom there, lost her pocket.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said Lucy Locket.

It's correct!

30, very well done.

Yes, good answer, do you know who found the pocket?

Kitty Fisher.

-Yes, she would. She's good.

-She's very, very good.

-It was on the back of that rhyme,

-and the furore that it caused, that pockets started to get sewn into trousers.

-Exactly!

-Do you know where she found it?

-Weston-super-Mare?

No, it was on the hall table and she'd left it under a bill.

She put an electricity bill on top of it.

She also, although it's in verse three, she lost her mobile phone.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Where's my pocket? where's my phone?

Yeah, OK, well now, Gary, you are the last person to have this board.

You can take us through the whole board.

Made some tarts, I think, was the Queen Of Hearts.

Had a great fall was Humpty Dumpty.

I am going to go for Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard

to buy her poor doggie a bone.

"Old Mother Hubbard," says Gary.

Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many said Old Mother Hubbard.

It's right.

49.

APPLAUSE

It's from 1805, a good answer.

Let's take a look at the rest of the answers.

Made some tarts was the Queen Of Hearts.

It would have scored 50 points.

Had a great fall, it's Humpty Dumpty but you did well to avoid it,

it would have scored 91 points.

The best answer on the board is the killer of Cock Robin.

The sparrow with his bow and arrow.

The sparrow with his bow and arrow, absolutely right, 11 points.

OK, thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

The best score of the pass, Warren.

What a turn around. Look at that.

18. Then to 30 where we find Abbie and Dinos.

Up to 49 where we find Gary and Ian

and then quite a hike up to 78

when we find James and Kathryn.

Kathryn we need a really low-scoring answer from you

and we'll have to hope that's enough to keep you in the game. Very best of luck.

We're coming back down the line.

Can the second players take their places at the podium.

We're going to put seven more clues to nursery rhyme characters on the board and here they come.

We have got.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now remember, we are looking for the nursery rhyme characters described by these clues.

Ian, you're trying to find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

The high scorers are Kathryn and James on 78,

you're on 49, which means a score of 28 or less, Ian,

sees you through to the next round.

Yes, it's not a good subject for me, really but I think I know a couple.

I think I will have to stick with Dr Foster.

Dr Foster went to Gloucester in a shower of rain.

OK, let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

If you get below that red line, you avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Good luck. Dr Foster, is it right? How many people said it?

It's right.

50, takes your total up to 99.

Yes, some big scores all-round here, aren't they? Dr Foster is supposed to refer to Edward I.

That's what they used to call him, Dr Foster.

-Really?

-Yeah.

OK, Dinos and Abbie, you're on 30.

The high scorers are now Ian and Gary on 99.

If you can score 68 or less, Dinos,

you are definitely through to the next round.

Well, I think the nursery rhymes of my youth have served me well here.

I'm tempted by "stole a pig," but I'm not 100% sure.

I'm going to go for "under a haystack fast asleep"

which I believe was Little Boy Blue.

Little Boy Blue says Dinos. Little Boy Blue.

Absolutely right, Dinos,

and you are through. Very well done.

18! Great answer takes your total up to 48.

-Very well done.

-Well done, Dinos.

-Dinos knows pretty much everything.

-Yeah, yeah, he's good.

Anything you give him, he just trots off a good answer.

-He's good.

-Very impressive. Yeah, Little Boy Blue. There he is.

-There he is.

-Yes. Under a haystack, fast asleep.

Now then, Emma, the high scorers remain Ian and Gary on 99.

If you can score 80 or less, you're into the next round.

I'm going to say, "had 10,000 men" and the Grand Old Duke Of York.

The Grand Old Duke Of York, says Emma. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said, the Grand Old Duke Of York.

It's correct.

You've done it!

54, very well done.

APPLAUSE

-Well done, Emma, a good answer. That's 10,000 men, he had.

-Yeah.

Now then, Kathryn, you can talk us through the board.

The high scorers are Ian and Gary on 99.

You are on 78.

You have to score 20 or less.

Talk us through the board.

OK, I know four and three of them have been taken.

"Put in his thumb and pulled put a plum" was Little Boy Blue,

no, Little Jack Horner.

I think that's quite common. That would be my safe answer.

"Could eat no fat," I think that might be the Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly.

There's an old lady who lived in a shoe.

I don't think she would run through town or steal a pig.

I mean, is that likely to be in the profiling of an old lady who lives in a shoe?

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do. She might have stolen a pig.

-This is like watching Cracker.

-Isn't?

This is hideous.

OK, I'm going to go with "could eat no fat"

and I am going to say the Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly.

OK, there was an old lady who swallowed a fly,

she could eat no fat.

-Goodness me!

-Is the Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly right?

How many people said it?

Bad luck, Kathryn.

Valiant effort, I have to say.

I applaud you for that. Sadly, it's a wrong answer which means you score 100 points

and that takes your total up to an unbeatable 178. I'm sorry.

Yeah, sorry Kathryn, you were left in an impossible position there by James's score of 78.

-Of course, the old woman who swallowed a fly, she ate the horse. That's got fat.

-Yeah.

-Mind you, it killed her.

-It did.

-That was the fact.

I love the way swallowing a horse killed her, swallowing a cow, didn't.

-A cow with horns.

-It didn't have horns.

Fair enough, it might not have.

THEY LAUGH

Let's go through the rest.

Put in his thumb and pulled out a plum, was Little Jack Horner.

It wouldn't have saved you, it would have scored you 40 points.

Could eat no fat, is Jack Sprat could eat no fat,

his wife could eat no lean. 69 points. Again, a big scorer.

"Runs through the town," Wee Willie Winkie. 30 points.

The one answer that would have got you through was "stole a pig".

It was a tough one, "Tom, Tom the Piper's son, stole a pig

"and away he run." It would have scored you eight points.

Thank you very much, Richard. At the end of our first round, the pair with the losing score,

I'm afraid, it's James and Kathryn. There we are.

Anyway, you've learnt a valuable pointless lesson.

We'll see you again next time. We'll look forward to that.

-Meanwhile, Kathryn, James, lovely couple, thanks for playing.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

There's only going to be room for two pairs at the end of this round,

so one of the pairs will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Our category for Round Two is...

Countries.

Can you all decide who's going first and who's going second.

And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people, 100 seconds,

to name as many American countries with a coastline on the Atlantic.

-Richard.

-Yes, apart from the USA, we're looking for any country

on the mainland of South America, Central America

or North America which has an Atlantic coastline.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state that is a member of the UN.

OK, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Emma, you're going to kick us off this round.

I have to say, Mexico.

Mexico. OK, Mexico, says Emma.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Mexico.

Absolutely right.

44.

APPLAUSE

Not bad.

A lot better than 100, Emma. It's got 5,700 miles of coastline.

OK, Abbie, so remember we are looking for mainland American countries

with an Atlantic coastline.

I am going to have to guess...

-Brazil?

-Brazil, says Abbie.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said Brazil.

It's correct.

42!

APPLAUSE

Not bad at all, Abbie.

Well done, Abbie, very good answer.

4,600 miles of coastline. The fifth biggest country in the world, Brazil.

Gary.

I'll go with Argentina.

Argentina, says Gary, let's see if that's right

and how many of our 100 said, Argentina.

It's right.

35!

APPLAUSE

-35 for Argentina.

-Yes, the world's eighth largest country.

Over 3,000 miles of Atlantic coastline.

Thank you. We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores as they stand.

The answer from Gary earned 35 points

so Gary and Ian are looking very strong at this stage on 35.

Then up to 42 where we find Abbie and Dinos

and then up to 44 where we find Emma and Warren.

They are all quite close together so no-one really conspicuously far out ahead.

Warren, you are the high scorers at the moment

so we will definitely need a low scoring answer from you.

OK, can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, we are looking for mainland American countries with

an Atlantic coastline.

Ian, as ever you are going to try and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

The high scorers on 44 are Warren and Emma. You are on 35.

If you can score eight or less, you will avoid becoming the new high scorers.

I think, Uruguay has got a coastline.

Uruguay. There is your red line, it's quite low.

Let's see, is Uruguay right? Will it get you below that red line?

It is right.

It's a great answer, Ian, look at that. 13, very well done, indeed.

That's how you do it. That takes your total up to 48. Richard.

Good answer, Ian, best answer yet. Just 400 miles of coastline on the Atlantic.

Dinos...

I'm going to go for Suriname.

Let's see, Suriname, is it right, how many people said it?

Brilliant, Dinos, it's right.

You've done it! Three.

Come on!

APPLAUSE

Absolutely brilliant, Dinos. That takes your total up to 45. Richard.

-Dinos knows everything.

-He does.

Just over 200 miles of coastline, so a terrific answer.

Warren, the high scorers are Ian and Gary, still on 48.

You're on 44.

If you can find an answer that scores three or less,

you are through to the next round.

I'm going to go with Colombia.

Colombia, says Warren.

This has to score three or less if it's going to keep you in the game.

Let's find out. Columbia, is it right, how many people said it?

It is right.

Will it go down to three, though?

Still going. You've done... Oh! Four! Oh!

APPLAUSE

This is exciting.

Oh, this is exciting.

Yes, it's a tie. You are both on 48. I love it one we have a tie.

-It's exciting, isn't it?

-This is very exciting, indeed.

As it's a tie, the tied pairs have to give me one more answer each

and the pair that gets the highest score will be eliminated. You can now confer.

OK, Warren and Emma, you go first.

We're looking for mainland American countries with an Atlantic coastline.

Have you got an answer?

I'm going to say...

Ecuador.

Ecuador.

OK, we have Ecuador from Warren and Emma.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said, Ecuador.

GROANS

Bad luck, Warren.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer which means Ian and Gary, you only have to be correct.

We had a choice of two but I think we'll just stick with Panama.

Panama, say Ian and Gary. Let's see how the people said that.

Is it right?

Absolutely right, very well done, Ian and Gary, you've done it.

Oh, a nice low score, as well.

APPLAUSE

Warren and Emma, you scored 100 points.

That took your total up to 148.

Ian and Gary, you scored nine,

that takes your total up to 57.

Ian and Gary, you are through to the head-to-head. Richard.

Well played, over 1,500 miles of coastline in Panama

on the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

There's no pointless answers at all on this board. Three is the best score you could have got.

So Dinos has already given us one of the best scores.

Three would have scored you three. One was Suriname, which Dinos gave us.

You could also have had Honduras or Guatemala.

Other good low scorers, Nicaragua would have scored you four.

Costa Rica, five, Guyana, six, Belize, seven,

Venezuela 12 and I think that's everything mentioned.

Let's take a look at the top three.

Brazil, 42, which we've already had.

Canada is the last one we haven't mentioned, 42

and we've already heard the top one, Mexico, 44.

OK, thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of Round Two, the losing pair with the highest score

I'm sorry to say, Warren and Emma, it is you.

We've come to the end of the road. Thank you so much for playing.

It's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

For the remaining two pairs, things are getting more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Abbie and Dinos, Ian and Gary,

you're one round away from our final and a chance to play for the jackpot

which currently stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

You're now going head-to-head and the first to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

The big difference, you are allowed to confer.

Very, very best of luck. May the best pair win.

OK, let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Endangered Species.

Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of animals that are endangered

or critically endangered according to the world conservation union, Red List.

Can you identify the most obscure of these species. Good luck.

Thanks, Richard. Now let's reveal our five endangered species.

We have got.

Blank Rhinoceros, A.

Blank Panda, B.

Blank Leopard, C

Blank Penguin, D.

And Blank Hippopotamus, E.

OK, there we are, five endangered species.

Abbie and Dinos, you have played best throughout the show so far,

so you get to go first.

Which letters do you think you know?

I only know C, I don't know any of the other ones.

We're going to go with B and say Giant Panda.

You're going to say Giant Panda for B. OK, Ian and Gary?

-Take us through the board.

-We thought A was a White Rhino.

C is a Snow Leopard. We don't know what D is.

We've got a feeling the hippopotamus is a Pygmy Hippopotamus.

I think we'll go for E, a Pygmy Hippopotamus.

OK, Ian and Gary say a Pygmy Hippopotamus for E.

Endangered species. Giant Panda, B say Abbie and Dinos.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is how many of our 100 people said Giant Panda.

It's right.

53.

APPLAUSE

You were slightly hoping Ian and Gary would be stumped by the other pictures.

I think they're onto a winner there. If it's right, it's beaten us.

Pygmy Hippopotamus, let's see if it's right.

It is right.

And it beats the Giant Panda.

20!

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Ian and Gary. After one question you are up 1-0.

Well played, it's a terrific answer.

They are about 100 centimetres high and very solitary, pygmy hippos.

Aw...and they're endangered.

-Oh, no!

-Yeah.

They're like totes endangered. Can you believe it?

-Totes endang?

-Yeah.

A is not a White Rhinoceros, it's a Black Rhinoceros.

It would have scored you 16 points, that's critically endangered,

the Black Rhinoceros.

Giant Panda, everybody's seen and C is Snow Leopard.

You're quite right, but you did well to avoid it, it's a big scorer, 78.

D is a pointless answer. It's a Galapagos penguin.

OK, well thanks very much, Richard.

Abbie and Dinos, you have to win this question to stay in the game,

very best of luck. It concerns...

-International Cheeses.

-Yeah, the great categories keep on coming.

We're going to show you the names of five international cheeses

but they are all in anagram form.

I love the way cheeses from around the world...

International Cheeses just sounds altogether more Bond, doesn't it?

Who do you work for? Me? I work for International Cheeses.

Ooh-wah-ah, ooh-wah-ah.

That's a knife.

Sorry. Now then, right, Abbie and Dinos, you have to win this one.

Let's reveal our five clues to International Cheeses.

And we have got...

I'll read those again.

Ian and Gary, I'll give you a moment to work out what's what

and then I'll ask you to answer first.

We'll take the second one down

and we'll say Parmesan.

Parmesan you're saying for Near Maps. Parmesan.

Now then, Abbie and Dinos, this is one you have to win.

The third one is Gorgonzola. The fifth one is Feta.

The top on, I'm not sure but, I think,

we're going to go Manchego.

Manchego for Conga Hem. So, we have Parmesan and Manchego.

Ian and Gary have said Parmesan.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Parmesan's a great answer.

Look at that. 16.

APPLAUSE

Very good. Now, Abbie and Dinos, 16 is what Parmesan scored.

You've submitted Manchego for Conga Hem.

It has to beat 16 for you to stay in the game. Let's see.

Manchego. Is it right, how many people said it?

Absolutely right.

Down it goes.

Very well done. You've done it.

Three.

Very well done. Abbie, I think, you spotted that one.

Great teamwork there from Abbie and Dinos. Great answer also from Ian and Gary. Abbie and Dinos,

you've done what you needed to do. You're back in the game. One all.

-Richard.

-Yes, well played, Abbie.

The Spanish cheese beats the Italian cheese but two good answers.

Let's look at the rest. Long Zoo Rag, another Italian cheese, Gorgonzola.

That would have scored you 30. Feat is of course Feta.

It would have scored 79.

Some people do have trouble with anagrams, don't they?

Clotted Ale - Dolcelatte, another Italian cheese. Dolcelatte.

That would have scored five points.

So, Manchego actually the best answer on the board, there.

Thanks very much. Here comes your

third question - the decider. Whoever wins

this question goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Our third question concerns...

Richard.

We'll give you five clues to facts about Dad's Army

for this decisive question. Very best of luck to both teams.

OK. Here are our five facts about Dad's Army.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about Dad's Army.

Abbie and Dinos, you go first again.

-Have you watched it?

-No.

-Right.

I think this is a bit out of our era.

We are going to go for the decade it was first transmitted in

and we are going to try the 1970s.

OK, you're going to say

the 1970s - the decade it was first transmitted in.

Ian and Gary.

We'll go for the fictional town.

The fictional town it was set in

was Walmington-on-Sea.

Walmington-on-Sea you're going to say for the fictional town

it was set in.

OK, this will decide who goes through to the final.

Abbie and Dinos, you said it was first transmitted in the 1970s.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said the 1970s.

Bad luck, Abbie and Dinos. Bad luck.

An incorrect answer, I'm afraid. Ian and Gary,

you have gone for Walmington-on-Sea,

the fictional town in which it was set.

All that has to be is correct and,

if it is, you're through to the final.

Walmington-on-Sea. Is it right?

Absolutely right. Well done, Ian and Gary, you've done it.

29.

APPLAUSE

Which means, after three questions, Ian and Gary,

you're through to the final, 2-1. Richard.

Well played, Ian and Gary, that's a good answer.

It first appeared in 1968.

So, if you'd said '60s, you'd be in the final

because it would have scored you 25 points.

It was co-written by David Croft who also wrote

Hi-de-Hi! 'Allo, 'Allo! Are You Being Served?

all sorts of things. That would have scored 10 points.

Of course, it took place during the World War II.

That's a big score - 74.

And the best answer on the board, Captain Mainwaring's wife's name.

Eight points, very well done to anyone at home who said Elizabeth.

Elizabeth.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, I'm afraid,

Abbie and Dinos.

Once again,

it's 2-1 defeat.

Fallen at the same obstacle.

Well, both times you've been on, you've been spectacular.

Brilliant contestants.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye without you getting

a sniff at the final. But truly brilliant. Excellent. Excellent.

Thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But, for Ian and Gary, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Well, congratulations, Ian and Gary. You fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

OK, well, the rules are very simple.

To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today.

You only have to find one and you'll go home with a jackpot of £2,000.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category. You have five options. They are...

It's not going to be Chemistry or Literary Awards.

I wouldn't have thought so.

We'll go for the Sporting Champions.

Sporting Champions, say Ian and Gary.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many one-time World Champions in Formula 1 as they could.

-Richard.

-Yes, we are looking for any Formula 1 World Drivers' Champions

who've won the title once and only once all the way

through from the inaugural event in 1952 the 2011 championship.

Very, very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £2,000 is for just one of those answers

-to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock and here they are.

Your time starts now.

Right, the ones that I know is Jacques Villeneuve, lad from Canada.

-Yeah.

-What's his name?

-Jacques Villeneuve.

-Jacques Villeneuve.

-James Hunt.

-James Hunt only won it once.

-Mansell only won it once.

-Yeah.

-But...

-I'm just thinking of three answers.

-Well, we've got them three.

I don't know about John Surtees. I think he won it more than once.

The bike championships as well.

He only won it once. As well as the bikes.

Could use him as one and one of the others.

Somebody's going to say James Hunt or Mansell.

-What was it? Jacques Villeneuve.

-Jacques Villeneuve, James Hunt.

Shall we go with John Surtees and take a chance?

Yeah.

Ten seconds left.

Someone like Emerson Fittipaldi or something like that?

I thought he won it more than once though.

OK, that's your time up.

So we are looking for one-time Formula 1 Champions.

I now need your three answers.

We are going for Jacques Villeneuve.

Jacques Villeneuve.

-James Hunt.

-James Hunt.

-And John Surtees.

-And John Surtees.

-Yeah.

OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

We'll put Jacques Villeneuve.

We'll put Jacques Villeneuve last.

Which is your least likely?

James Hunt.

James Hunt, we'll put him first.

OK, let's pop them up on the board in that order. And here they are.

We have got...

OK, so we were looking for one time Formula 1 Champions.

James Hunt's your first answer.

You thought this was your least likely shot at a pointless answer.

Remember, you only have to find one pointless answer

to win that jackpot of £2,000.

So, let's find out. James Hunt, is it right, how many people said it?

James Hunt.

Absolutely right.

Down it goes. Now, if this goes all the way down to nothing,

you leave here with £2,000.

Down it goes, still, into the teens.

Right, 16.

APPLAUSE

16 for James Hunt.

So, unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot of £2,000.

Ian, what would you do with £2,000?

What I'd like to do with it

and what my wife would want to spend it on

are two completely different things, I suppose.

Do you have any idea what she wants to spend it on?

I think she wants some new windows. So, that's about it.

Gary?

I could buy some more bright shirts

but I don't think my wife would be very happy with that, either.

So, I might put it towards a new caravan.

OK, let's hope nobody said John Surtees.

This has to be right then it has to be pointless.

If it's both of those things, you leave here with £2,000.

John Surtees - how many people said it, is it right?

It's absolutely right.

OK, down it goes. James Hunt took us down to 14.

John Surtees now taking us down into single figures.

Down it goes. Two.

APPLAUSE

OK, so you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

We are looking for a one-time Formula 1 Champions.

The third and final answer was Jacques Villeneuve.

You said this was your most confident shot at a pointless answer.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot, so let's find out.

For £2,000, Jacques Villeneuve - is it right, how many people said it?

Well, it's right.

That's three correct answers.

James Hunt took us down to 16.

John Surtees took us all the way down to two.

Is Jacques Villeneuve going to take us down to pointless? Down it goes.

Single figures. Down it goes. Still going. Oh, no!

APPLAUSE

Ian and Gary, unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all important pointless answer.

But the good news is, you do get to take home

a fabulous Pointless trophy each.

So very, very well done.

CHEERING

Yeah, unlucky, guys. There's a lot of names on the list.

A lot of the big scorers were British drivers.

Damon Hill, Lewis Hamilton, Jenson Button, Nigel Mansell

all were big scorers. But there's six pointless answers.

A couple of them you'll know, I'm sure.

Denny Hulme, the New Zealand driver, won in '67.

Jochen Rindt, the German-born Austrian,

who was awarded the title posthumously in 1970.

Keke Rosberg, the Finn, who won in '82.

Of course, Nico Rosberg going great guns in Formula 1 at the moment.

Mario Andretti won in '78. He would have won you the money.

Nino Farina won the very first title in 1950 and Phil Hill,

the only American-born driver ever to win the title, in the early '70s.

Well done to anyone who got any of those six at home.

Thanks very much.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you.

It's been brilliant having you on the show.

Thank you both so much for playing. Great contestants. Ian and Gary.

CHEERING

Well, Ian and Gary didn't win our jackpot today which means

it rolls over on to the next show when we will be playing for £3,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd