Episode 4 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

Now, first up we welcome back

Sarah and Wendy. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless Final. This is your second chance.

Sarah, remind us what happened last time.

We got through to the head-to-head...

Oh, it was a needle head-to-head, as well.

-It was, yes, we lost by one point on one round.

-Yeah, the artists.

-Yes.

-Wendy, remind us how you know each other.

-We are sisters.

-Very good indeed.

OK, so you made it through to the head-to-head last time.

This time, what's going to be your dream Pointless category?

Musical theatre.

We've had it before as a category.

-It has come up. Maybe it will come up again.

-Hopefully.

Certainly.

Best of luck, Sarah and Wendy. It's lovely to have you back on the show.

We also welcome back Jonathan and Steve. Remind us what happened with you last time.

We took home the bronze medal.

What was it? I can't remember what the round was.

So do I. So do I. Totally forgot.

Oh, yes, I can.

Chemical elements.

We came up with a new one, didn't we? Called Ilium.

Very much so.

Now then, Jonathan, what do you do? Where are you from?

We are both from York and I work as a project controller

looking after finances on railway projects.

-You were a stuntman?

-In a previous life.

Many years ago I trained to be a stuntman over in Australia,

getting set on fire and dragged behind speedboats,

knocked over by cars, that sort of thing.

-Fantastic. Steve, what do you hope is going to come up today?

-Not...

elements.

Not films.

Yeah.

Not a lot of things, to be honest.

OK, well, very, very best of luck. Let's hope we see more of you this time round.

And next, we welcome Ann and Pam. How do you two know each other?

Well, we've been friends for nearly 20 years.

We met through The Samaritans, actually.

-Do you still work for The Samaritans?

-No, we both retired.

What did you do before you retired?

Oh, I was a schoolteacher.

You know, one of the retired schoolteachers

who do so well on Pointless, don't they?

They always do. They always do. What did you teach?

I taught little ones. Infants.

What did you do, Pam?

I used to work with some people with learning disabilities

and I used to drive a truck

and we used to go out into the community, doing gardens.

-Excellent.

-So, that was great, that was good.

Well, very best of luck to you, Ann and Pam. Lovely to have you here.

And finally, we've got Maria and Jamie. How do you two know each other?

We are husband and wife.

And where are you from, Jamie?

-We are from Carmarthen in south-west Wales.

-Excellent.

What do you do there, Jamie?

I'm a diagnostic radiographer in Morriston Hospital in Swansea.

-Will they all be watching, do you think?

-Yes.

Very good. So, no pressure then?

-No pressure at all, no.

-How about you, Maria?

I've just finished university, studying professional Welsh.

So you are now professionally Welsh?

I am, yeah. You can't get much better than that.

I don't think you can. I just don't think you can.

Jamie, what do you like to get up to in your spare time?

Well, I'm a DJ and a semi-professional music producer.

Wow, what kind of music do you produce?

-House music.

-Right.

Radiography, is there any crossover?

None at all, no. Sounds like it is, but it's not, unfortunately.

-Bleeps and whistles and things.

-Yeah, I suppose.

-Yeah.

Very good. Well, very best of luck. We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

It's a good job he knows so much because his people skills are terrible.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hello.

-Afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Should be a fun show today.

-Sarah and Wendy did very well last time, didn't they?

-Yeah.

All the way to the head-to-head, so they'll be hard to beat.

And Jonathan and Steve, I thought, were very good. Steve slightly let himself down but,

you know, look at them. Cheeky chappies, aren't they? Smiling away.

They've got the faces of smiling assassins, I think.

They might do very well for themselves.

Of course, Ann and Pam, uniquely in Pointless history,

the only pair of contestants we've had who once founded an international airline.

Yeah.

-Only ones.

-Very good. Well, thanks very much, Richard.

All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

To get to the final round and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

all our contestants have to do is find the obscure answers that those 100 people didn't get.

So, the fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer,

the fewer points they will score.

What everyone's trying to do is to find a Pointless answer.

That's an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and, each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Dougie and Cath won the jackpot last time

so today's jackpot starts off at £1,000.

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated

so try and make sure that's not you. OK, our first category today is...

If you all decide who's going to go first and who's second.

And whoever is going first, please, step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Male tennis Grand Slam Number One Seeds. Richard.

We're looking for any man

who's ever gone into a Grand Slam tennis tournament

since the Open era began in 1968,

who has been number one seed for that tournament, please.

Grand Slam tournaments, of course,

the Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon and the US Open.

So any man who's been number one seed

for any of those tournaments since 1968, please.

OK, Sarah and Wendy, you all drew lots before the show

and today you are going first.

Sarah. Is tennis good for you?

No, no. Not at all. Erm...

..can't play it, don't watch it.

I think...Pat Cash.

-Pat Cash...

-Yeah.

..says Sarah. Pat Cash. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Bad luck, Sarah. An incorrect answer,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points. I'm sorry.

-Not Pat Cash.

-Yeah, sorry, Sarah.

The Australian famously won Wimbledon

but has never gone into a Grand Slam tournament as number one seed.

Now then, Jonathan.

I'll play it safe, I think, and go for

-Pete Sampras.

-Pete Sampras, says Jonathan. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Pete Sampras.

Absolutely right.

23.

Not bad at all. 23 for Pete Sampras.

Well played, Jonathan. He was number one seed

for numerous Grand Slam tournaments and won 14 of them.

Ann.

We're looking for male Grand Slam number one seeds.

Is this a good area for you?

Well, it's a long time since I've played, Alexandra.

But I do quite enjoy tennis.

So I think I will go for...

..Arthur Ashe.

Arthur Ashe. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Arthur Ashe.

Absolutely right.

Ooh, it's a good answer.

Look at that. Two!

Very, very well done indeed, Ann. That's a great answer.

And a great low score. Richard.

Very well played, Ann.

He has been a number one seed, also won three Grand Slam tournaments.

You can tell Ann is a primary school teacher

for two reasons. One, very good answer.

Two, she called you Alexandra.

-Absolutely classic teacher, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I might call you that.

-I shouldn't.

What'cha going to do?

Well, you'll probably get a stiffly-worded letter.

You can call me what you like, Ann.

Maria.

Erm, I've got a couple.

I think I'll go for Novak Djokovic.

Novak Djokovic. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Well done, Maria, look at that. Nine. Single figures.

-Very good answer. Novak Djokovic.

-Well played, Maria.

Very steady start. He's won five Grand Slam titles to date,

though I suspect he'll add to that and he'll be the number one seed

in many tournaments in the future, I suspect.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Ann and Pam looking very, very strong indeed.

Lovely low score of 2.

Then up to 9, where we find Maria and Jamie.

Up to 23, where we find Jonathan and Steve.

And then, I'm afraid, quite a hike up to 100,

where we find you, Sarah and Wendy.

But the round is but young, Wendy,

and I'm sure you have a brilliant, obscure answer up your sleeve.

Can the second players take their places at the podium?

OK, so we are looking for

male tennis number one seeds in Grand Slams.

Jamie, you are on 9.

Wendy and Sarah are the high scorers on 100,

which means a score of 90 or less will keep you in the game.

I think I'm just going to play it safe,

and I'll say Rafael Nadal.

OK, Rafael Nadal, says Jamie. There is your red line.

Come below that, you're through to the next round. Nadal.

Is it right? How many people said it?

Very well done, you're through.

29.

APPLAUSE

Not bad at all. That takes your total up to 38.

Well played. Just the right tactics.

The king of clay, Rafael Nadal.

Pam, how brilliant was Ann's answer?!

Oh, fantastic! Fantastic!

Very, very good indeed! Can you equal it? Maybe even better it?

I'm not sure. Erm...

Bjorn Borg.

Bjon Bjorg. Bjon Borg.

Bjorn...Bjorn Borg.

Bjorn Bjorg...

-him!

-LAUGHTER

Let's see how many people said it.

Very well done.

29.

APPLAUSE

29, takes your total up to 31.

You are through to the next round.

-Richard?

-A very good answer.

Of course, the darling of Wimbledon for many years. Bjorn Borg.

First became world number one in August, 1977.

-Now makes pants.

-He does make pants, yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-Now then, Steve. You're on 23.

Wendy and Sarah remain our high scorers on 100.

So a score of 76 or less, you're in round two.

So remember, we're looking for number one seeded

-male tennis players in a Grand Slam.

-I'll go...

-Jim Courier.

-Jim Courier.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Ooh, bit of a buzz!

-AUIDENCE QUIETLY OOHS

Never sure what that means!

-HE LAUGHS

-Let's find out!

Jim Courier. There's your red line.

Is it right? How many people said it?

Yep, very well done. And you're through.

HE LAUGHS

Oh, very, very well done indeed, Steve!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Only the lowest score of the round!

1 for Jim Courier.

That's a good answer, Steve.

An aficionado's answer.

Actually won four Grand Slam titles, though less remembered these days

than some others. Was world number one, briefly,

which is why he was seeded number one for Grand Slam tournaments.

Now then, Wendy and Sarah, I have grave news.

I'm afraid you come into this answer

already as the high scorers.

But an opportunity, maybe, to come up with a pointless answer.

Maybe there's a pointless answer and you could bequeath £250

to our remaining players.

I could, if I knew ANYTHING about tennis!

-Ah!

-I'm going to try Andre Agassi.

Andre Agassi. Let's see if it's right,

and how many people said Andre Agassi.

Absolutely right.

16. Not a bad score at all.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 116. Richard?

A good answer to leave us on, Wendy.

Andre Agassi won eight career Grand Slam titles. Very well played.

Let's take a look at some pointless answers. There's a whole bunch,

so well done if you said any of these at home.

Guillermo Vilas won four Grand Slams in his career.

Gustavo Kuerten, the Brazilian, played very well on clay.

Jan Kodes, who won three Grand Slam titles.

Johan Kriek, the South African.

If you got that one, hat off! That's a terrific answer.

Won two Grand Slams in his career. John Newcombe, the Australian -

part of one of the great doubles partnerships

of all time with Tony Roche, who's also a pointless answer.

Both of those were number one seeds going into Grand Slam tournaments.

Vitas Gerulaitis, and the Russian Yevgeny Kafelnikov,

who won two Grand Slams and a gold medal at the Olympics in 2000.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

-Terrific answers.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

So at the end of our first round,

the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid, it's Wendy and Sarah.

-AUDIENCE: Aw!

-Exactly. Yes. The stage was set for you to be finalists.

They're going to have to re-engrave the trophy and everything. We had it all planned. What a shame.

It's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for round two.

Obviously, only two pairs can make it through to the head-to-head round.

One of the pairs will be leaving at the end of the round.

Very best of luck. Our category for round two today is:

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going first, who is going second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns...

-Richard.

-On each pass, we're going to show you six countries which currently use the euro.

Tell us the name of their currency before they joined the euro, the main unit of currency.

If it was the USA, we would be looking for dollar rather than cent.

Six on each pass, an obscure answer will score fewer points, incorrect answer will score you 100 points.

-See how many of these you can get at home. 12 in all.

-Thanks, Richard.

We are looking for the currencies used by these countries before the euro and we have got:

I'll read them once again.

Now then, Jonathan. There are the countries.

-Steve, what's wrong?

-Brutal!

I must admit, I was hoping for one or two different countries to appear there. I really was!

Just because I thought I might have had a nice obscure answer.

If I'm being honest, I only know a couple of those.

I will go with Germany and the Deutschmark.

The Deutschmark for Germany, says Jonathan.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

57.

APPLAUSE

-I'll take that.

-Not that bad. 57.

A big score, but certainly not 100.

They used the Deutschmark up to 2001.

-Very good. Now then, Pam.

-I know how to spend it...

I'm stuck with one I know I'd get or risking it.

And I think I'm going to risk it.

Erm... Austria, the schilling?

The schilling, says Pam, for Austria.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

Absolutely right, Pam. Very well done.

-19.

-APPLAUSE

That's a great answer and a great score. A risk well worth taking.

Well played. Full marks for good knowledge

and also for having the guts to take a bit of a risk.

Took over in 2002, the euro, in Austria, from the schilling.

Jamie, we're looking for the pre-euro currencies of these countries.

Luckily, Pam left me the one answer I presume she was going to leave.

-And I will say France is the franc.

-The franc, says Jamie.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

Absolutely right.

78.

APPLAUSE

78, isn't that weird? For once, Germany not the highest scorer.

I know, who'd have thought! The French beating the Germans!

It's the first time in history that has ever happened.

The franc, 78 points.

Cyprus and Malta, you might have got mixed up which is which.

What do you think Cyprus's currency was before the euro?

-It's a familiar one to you and I.

-It's the pound.

-It's the pound.

It would have scored you 28 points. Well done if you said that.

Malta is the lira. They used the lira.

One point for Malta. And Slovakia, two points, the koruna.

-The koruna.

-Very well done if anyone got all of those at home. Very impressive.

OK, halfway through the round, let's take a look

at the scores as they stand. Once again, Pam and Ann looking

very strong at this stage. 19.

Then up to 57, Jonathan and Steve. Then up to 78, Jamie and Maria.

You're not miles ahead, Maria, but ahead enough...

-Yeah!

-..for a little bit of pressure to be on you.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more countries on the board and here they are:

I'll read them one last time.

There they are. We are looking for the currencies these countries

used before the euro and you're trying to find

the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Maria, you're the high scorers on 78.

We need a really nice, low-scoring answer.

-Yeah.

-What would a professional Welsh person make of that?

Um, not... Erm...

I think Portugal might be the lima. Maybe? I don't know.

The lima. Let's see, the lima, let's see if that's right.

And if it is, how many people knew that answer.

There is no red line for you, as you are the high scorers.

Bad luck, Maria. An incorrect answer.

You score the maximum of 100 points. That takes you up to an

unbeatable 178. I'm sorry.

-Richard.

-Yes, Lima is the capital of Peru. For some reason,

the Portuguese did not name their currency after the capital of Peru.

Obviously, there was a faction that said they should. But they were shouted down.

We'll find out what they did call it at the end of the round. But it's not a South American capital.

Or...a small mammal.

-Yeah, lemur.

-"Lemur." Don't get many of those to the pound either.

LAUGHTER

Thank you, Richard. Now then, Ann,

great news, you're through to the next round. Less good news, we need an answer.

Well, Alexander...

LAUGHTER

..I do know a few,

and I think Portugal is the escudo.

The escudo, says Ann. How many people said it?

Absolutely right.

11. That's a great answer.

Lowest score of the round so far, takes your total up to 30.

-Richard.

-Well done. The escudo, it's Portuguese for shield.

It was also the second choice of Peru for the name of its capital.

Just beaten by Lima.

Steve, you are also through to the next round. You have made it to the head-to-head. Congratulations.

You're the last person to have this board. If there are any there you'd like to fill in for us,

-please help yourself.

-It's one of my all-time favourite ones, this.

Greece, is it drachma?

Italy, not a clue. Slovenia, not a clue. Spain... Peseta?

-Belgium, no clue. We'll go drachma, Greece.

-Greece, drachma.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said drachma for Greece.

Absolutely right.

Down it goes, 36.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed. 36. Takes your total up to 93.

It's a good answer, Steve. Let's go through the rest of the board.

-Do you want to have a go at this? Italy?

-Lira.

-Absolutely right.

Would have scored 60 points.

Spain, Steve got absolutely right, it's the peseta. 65 points for that.

-Belgium?

-It was a Belgian franc, wasn't it?

-Absolutely right.

37 points and Slovenia? Won't surprise you to know that's the best answer on the board.

Congratulations anyone who said tolar. Two of our 100 people knew it.

-Wow! Good for them.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard. At the end of round two,

the pair with the highest score, who will be leaving us, I'm afraid...

-Maria and Jamie.

-AUDIENCE: Aw!

Aw! Maria and Jamie, we will see you again next time.

Thanks so much for playing. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, things are about

to get even more exciting now, as we enter the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations Ann and Pam, Jonathan and Steve.

You are only one round away from the final and a chance to play for the jackpot, which stands at £1,000.

You're going head-to-head and the first to win two questions will play for that jackpot.

The great news is you can now confer.

So, Ann and Pam... As a retired schoolteacher, Ann,

you are doing your profession a great service. Fantastic.

-Did you think you would make it this far?

-No.

Steve and Jonathan -

-"Ilium" is just a dim memory now, isn't it?

-What?!

Yeah! Very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question and it concerns:

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five photos of actors

who began their career in the era of silent films.

Can you name those actors or actresses and tell us the most obscure? Good luck.

Thanks. Let's reveal our five silent film stars, and here they come. We have got:

There we are. Five silent film stars.

Pam and Ann, you've played best so far. You get to answer first.

I think C is Stan... Shall we go for that?

We're going to go for C, Stan Stennett.

Stan Stennett. Stan Stennett, C, say Ann and Pam.

Jonathan and Steve, you can talk us through the board.

You can also go for C, if you think it's a different name.

We think A is Stan Laurel. We think E is Charlie Chaplin.

We're not too familiar with the ladies up there.

I thought C was Harold Lloyd.

-We either take a risk and say...

-Risk it.

-We're gamblers.

-We'll go C.

-OK. Harold Lloyd.

OK, two names, jockeying for C.

Stan Stennett or Harold Lloyd. Ann and Pam have said Stan Stennett.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Oh, no.

Doesn't necessarily mean anything, Jonathan and Steve.

But it's not Stan Stennett. Is C Harold Lloyd?

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, how many people said Harold Lloyd.

It's Harold Lloyd.

Very well done indeed. All it had to be was correct.

-APPLAUSE

-It's 15.

Well, fortune favouring the brave. After one question, Jonathan and Steve, very well done,

-are up 1-0.

-Well played, gents. Harold Lloyd made nearly 200 films.

-Always used to have them on in the mornings during the school holidays.

-Yeah, they did.

-Love Harold Lloyd.

-Pam and Ann, you might have been thinking of Mack Sennett,

a famous silent movie star. Stan Stennett does exist. He is an actor and comedian.

A Welshman, in Coronation Street, Crossroads, all sorts of things.

Let's go through the rest of the answers.

A, I think you both knew -

-Stan Laurel.

-A Geordie.

Would have scored 63. He was actually born in Cumbria.

-There is a statue of him in South Shields because he lived there for a couple of years.

-That'll be why.

B is Louise Brooks.

She scored four points, Louise Brooks.

D, Greta Garbo.

Would have scored nine points. Very well done if you said that.

And E, I suspect most people got, Charlie Chaplin. 85 points.

Very well done to anyone who got all five of those.

Here comes your second question. Pam and Ann, we need you to win this question to stay in the game.

Very best of luck. Here it comes. It concerns:

It's not a good one for you, Steve!

-Richard.

-We're going to show you the titles of five plays,

all listed by the National Theatre as among the 25 most significant plays of the last century.

We've left out alternate letters in those plays. Can you name the plays and pick the most obscure?

OK. Let's reveal our five modern plays and we have got:

And I'll just read those again!

LAUGHTER

I'm just going to read the letters,

take the blanks as read. I hope that's all right.

There we are. Jonathan and Steve, you go first this time.

Seriously, we're struggling here.

-OK, we're going to go for Pygmalion on the first one.

-Pygmalion, OK.

Pygmalion.

-Ann and Pam, you can talk us through the board, if you like.

-OK.

-Literally fill in all the blanks.

-OK, yes.

We think the second one is Private Lives.

The third one is Death Of A Salesman.

-The next one is An Inspector Calls.

-And the last one is The Caretaker.

But we're going to go for Death Of A Salesman.

Death Of A Salesman, say Ann and Pam. Let's see.

Jonathan and Steve went with Pygmalion.

Let's see how many people said Pygmalion.

It's right.

Wow! 17!

APPLAUSE

17 for Pygmalion. Now then, Ann and Pam. You have to win this question to stay in the game.

Will Death Of A salesman do it for you? It has to go down below 17. Good luck.

How many people said Death Of A Salesman?

Absolutely right.

Yep. You've done it. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

12 for Death Of A Salesman, beats 17 for Pygmalion.

After two questions, you are absolutely even, 1-1. Richard.

Well played. I think this one deserves to go to a final question.

Pam and Ann, you got all of them right.

The only thing we need to fill in is what scored what.

It's quite difficult to call which of these is good to be the most obscure.

Which do you think would score the most points?

It's Private Lives, the Noel Coward play, An Inspector Calls and the Pinter play, The Caretaker.

-Maybe The Caretaker might be the hardest one to recognise?

-Exactly the other way round.

The Caretaker would have scored 40 points. The biggest scorer.

And Private Lives on 26.

The best answer on the board, An Inspector Calls,

the JB Priestley play.

Six points. Very well done if you got all six of them.

Thanks very much. Here comes your third question, the decider.

Here it comes. It concerns:

-William the Conqueror.

-Against teachers!

-Yeah - school teachers!

Love the fact that Steve just went, "Teachers!"

LAUGHTER

No pressure.

We're going to show you five clues to facts about William the Conqueror.

Can you give us the most obscure answer, please? Best of luck, both teams.

OK, let's reveal our five facts about William the Conqueror and here they come. We have got:

I'll read those all one last time.

Now then, Ann and Pam, you go first again this time.

Um, yes. We'll go for the name of the great land survey

commissioned by William - the Domesday Book.

The Domesday Book. The Domesday Book, say Ann and Pam.

Now, Jonathan and Steve, take us through your thinkings.

Um, OK, well, we think the year of the Battle of Hastings is 1066.

Famous embroidered linen hanging, we think that's the Bayeux Tapestry.

Bayeux Tapestry, yeah.

Now, I thought modern day country of his birth.

I thought it was Normandy, which is France, is it?

My mind's going a bit blank now, so really...

-Bayeux Tapestry.

-We've got to go for Bayeux Tapestry.

Yeah, but we think it's not going to get us there.

OK, you're going for the Bayeux Tapestry.

So, we have the Domesday Book. We have the Bayeux Tapestry.

This will decide who goes through to the final.

Ann and Pam said the Domesday Book

was the name of the great land survey conducted by William.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said the Domesday Book.

Absolutely right.

Down it goes.

14! Wow!

Nice low score there. Domesday Book. 14.

Now, the Bayeux Tapestry, it has to beat 14.

-Will it?

-BOTH: No!

Let's see how many people said the Bayeux Tapestry.

Absolutely right.

Will it go down as far as...?

50.

Hard luck, guys.

No, it was a good answer.

Well, a very exciting head-to-head, but in the end,

after three questions, Ann and Pam are through.

-Teachers!

-Taught us a lesson.

Ann and Pam are through to the final. Richard.

Great head-to-head, and special mention to Jonathan and Steve, who have not stopped smiling

at any point during their two shows, through triumph and disaster.

Well played, Pam and Ann. The Domesday Book, absolutely right.

It was originally known as the description of England.

It's where most of English towns or cities can trace their history back to.

Let's take a look at the rest of the answers.

You're right, Jonathan, he was born in Normandy in France,

so France would have been the answer,

but that would have scored 24 points, so wouldn't have won.

The year of the Battle of Hastings, again, 1066,

but that would have got 87.

The answer that would have seen you through to the final was

the hill on which Harold set his defence at the Battle of Hastings.

Do you know that one?

-I don't.

-You'll recognise the name.

It's Senlac Hill.

-Senlac Hill.

-Two points that would have got you.

Very well done if you got all of those.

Thank you very much indeed.

At the end of our head-to-head, our losing pair,

I'm afraid, Jonathan and Steve.

Such a shame. You've done so well. Brilliant performance today.

Absolutely fantastic, and as Richard said,

you haven't stopped smiling the whole way through.

More through nerves, I think.

Lovely having you on the show. Thank you both so much for playing.

Come here. Give me a cuddle!

APPLAUSE

But for Ann and Pam, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Many congratulations, Ann and Pam.

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Well, very best of luck. The rules are simple.

To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

If you can find one now, you will go home with that £1,000 jackpot.

Firstly, you have to choose a category. You have five options.

They are...

-Sci-fi films, I know nothing.

-Nothing about that.

-Geography is...

-Political roles. Hmm. Country music.

-No.

Unless it's Dolly Parton, I wouldn't even have a go.

European playwrights.

-Is it worth a go at that?

-European playwrights? Or political roles.

-Yeah, either of those two.

-Perhaps...political roles.

Political roles. OK. Very good.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

members of the Shadow Cabinet as they could.

Members of the Shadow Cabinet. Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any member of Ed Miliband's Shadow Cabinet

as announced in October 2011, please.

No-one who's been subsequently reshuffled into it,

but anyone announced in his Cabinet of October 2011.

-Good luck and good luck at home.

-Thank you.

Thank you very much indeed.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win that £1,000

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK.

-Ed Balls, obviously. Ed Balls.

-Yes, and his wife is...

-Yvette Cooper.

I'm not very good on any obscure ones.

-Is John Denham in the Shadow Cabinet?

-Yes, I think he is.

That's three.

Um, who else? The Health chappie.

Can't remember his name. I can't remember...

-The Education one, I can't remember him.

-The Health one?

I think we'll have to stick with those three.

Yeah, well, that's three we know, isn't it? Ed Balls,

-Yvette...

-Cooper.

..Cooper and...

What was the third one?

-John Denham.

-John Denham.

-Yeah. I think we've got three.

-OK.

I don't think we'll need any more time.

OK, we'll stop the clock there.

We were looking for members of Ed Miliband's Shadow Cabinet

following the reshuffle after the October 2011 conference.

I now need your three answers. What are they?

Um, Ed Balls.

Yvette Cooper.

And John Denham.

And out of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

BOTH: John Denham.

John Denham. We'll put him last.

-Your least likely?

-Ed Balls.

OK, very good. We'll put them up on the board in that order.

Ed Balls first, John Denham last, and Yvette in the middle.

THEY CHUCKLE

Don't know why that's funny, but it is!

-A mental picture.

-Yeah, there we go. Won't erase that one for a while.

LAUGHTER

We have got Ed Balls, Yvette Cooper and John Denham. There we are.

Members of the Shadow Cabinet.

Ed Balls you thought was your least likely shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer, remember,

to win that £1,000 jackpot.

Ann, what would you do with £1,000?

-Well, probably a little treat for my husband and I.

-I should hope so.

-How about you, Pam?

-Shoes, to begin with.

-Important.

-Then some treats for the grandchildren.

-Very good.

-Will all the grandchildren be watching?

-Certainly will.

OK, Ed Balls, your first answer. Let's see if it's right

and if it is, how many people said Ed Balls?

Absolutely right. Ed Balls.

This is your first shot at that £1,000 jackpot.

Ed Balls still going down.

Ooh! 43.

Not bad for Ed Balls.

43. That's incredibly high. Normally, when people are asked

to name politicians,

our 100 people don't do particularly well on that.

43. He'll be pleased.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

We're looking for members of Ed Miliband's Shadow Cabinet

following the reshuffle after the October 2011 conference.

You next answer was Yvette Cooper. This has to be correct, obviously.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot. Let's see.

Yvette Cooper. How many people said that?

Again, absolutely right.

Her husband Ed Balls took us down to 43.

Yvette has gone down past him.

Down she goes into the 20s, into the teens. Still going to down.

Single figures. 7!

This is more like it.

Thank you, Yvette. That was a great performance there.

OK, you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot. £1,000.

We're looking for members of the Shadow Cabinet.

Your third and final answer,

your most confident shot at a pointless answer was John Denham.

Now, you said that quite confidently.

-Do you know John Denham? He's not your MP?

-He is.

-For Southampton.

Southampton. But I know there was controversy,

and whether or not he left after Gordon Brown and before Ed Miliband,

that I can't quite remember.

Right, OK.

Now, to win the jackpot of £1,000, this has to be pointless.

Let's find out. John Denham.

How many people said it? Is it right?

Oh, no! Not to worry.

-Oh, what a shame.

-Well done.

-It's all right.

An incorrect answer, I'm afraid, so unfortunately,

you didn't find that pointless answer.

You don't win today's jackpot of £1,000,

which will roll over onto the next show.

You've been brilliant contestants. Fantastic performance on Pointless,

and you do get to take home the Pointless trophy, so very well done.

APPLAUSE

That's a shame. A terrific show, and you played so well throughout.

John Denham WAS in the Cabinet.

He was Business, Innovations and Skills,

but left before that reshuffle, of his own accord.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers

and hope you don't recognise too many of them.

Well done to anyone who said Angela Eagle,

who's the Shadow Leader of the House of Commons.

Baroness Royal of Blaisdon.

Caroline Flint, who is the Energy Shadow.

-Makes her sound like a superhero - the Energy Shadow.

-Hmm.

She's not.

Chuka Umunna, who is Business Shadow.

Liam Byrne, who is Work and Pensions, or certainly was

when the reshuffle was made.

Margaret Curran, Scotland. And Vernon Coaker, Northern Ireland.

Also in that Cabinet there was

Lord Bassam of Brighton, Peter Hain, Rachel Reeves and Tom Watson.

-Very well done if you said any of those.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Ann and Pam,

-but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

So, nobody's won our jackpot today, which means it rolls over

onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

Join us to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.