Episode 48 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where the lowest scorers

are the biggest winners. Let's meet today's players.

Now first up, we welcome Alexa and Ewan.

How do you two know each other, Alexa?

Er, Ewan's my son, I've known him for 22 years.

He was a pupil at the school I used to teach at,

and now he's at university.

Ewan, where are you at university?

I'm at Heriot-Watt University, in Edinburgh.

-And where did you used to teach, Alexa, in Edinburgh?

-Yes.

-And what did you teach?

-History and Modern Studies -

-it's like politics and economics.

-Wow!

Well, you've just laid your cards on the table there, Alexa.

-A teacher.

-Yes.

-Of history.

-Yes.

-Wow. Now, Ewan, what are your strengths?

I'm hoping we're going to have an Arnold Schwarzenegger round,

-hopefully, though probably not.

-OK.

-I think probably movies, probably music.

-Music and movies are good.

A warm welcome to the pair of you, it's lovely to have you on the show.

Very, very best of luck. Next we welcome Steve and Kateline.

-Now how do you know each other, Steve?

-We've worked together

in a department store, for about eight years now,

-doing various different roles.

-And whereabouts is this, Kateline?

-It's in Bristol.

-In Bristol.

-Yes.

-Very good.

Kateline, what would be the dream category for you?

-I think French language, and cooking...

-What kind of cooking?

..movies. A bit of everything. I enjoy cooking,

I read cooking books, in places that you wouldn't imagine.

Whoa.

LAUGHTER

OK. Er...whooh!

Kateline, like where?

LAUGHTER

In the toilet, sometimes.

OK, OK, it's a good place to read.

-Some people take a magazine, you know...

-Quite right.

-..but I take a cook book.

-Yeah.

-You just never know.

-Steve, what hobbies do you have?

-I enjoy researching my family tree,

and have managed to find that one of my great-great uncles

-was actually Prime Minister of New Zealand.

-Wow.

-In the late '50s, Sir Walter Nash.

-There you are.

-Have you been out there?

-No, I hate flying!

Which is a bit of a problem if you want to go to New Zealand.

Unless you really love sailing.

LAUGHTER

-Or swimming.

-LAUGHTER

Welcome to the show, Steve and Kateline,

it's great to have you here. And next we welcome Dave and Jason.

How do you two know each other?

Er, we work together, we've worked together for about six years,

and I actually appointed him to his post, I'm his manager.

-Oh dear. Jason, what is that job?

-It's pensions for the NHS.

Very good indeed. Is he good, Dave?

-Are you pleased with the appointment

-Well, if I went back six years,

I don't know...I don't know if I would have appointed him.

-OK, Dave, what do you hope is going to come up today?

-Snakes.

LAUGHTER

-OK, all snakes? Do you keep snakes?

-Venomous.

-Do you keep snakes?

-No I don't, my wife won't let me have any.

-You have a fascination with snakes?

-I have a fascination with snakes.

-But you know your breeds of snakes? Your types of snake?

-Yeah.

-Where they live, how venomous they are?

-Yeah.

And other such things about snakes. Jason, what can you add to that?

-Er, I like Arsenal FC.

-OK.

-I'm looking forward to films.

-Mm-hmm.

-Er, music, but not politics.

Very good. Welcome to the show, it's great to have you here.

Very, very best of luck.

Finally we've got Paul and Andy - how do you two know each other?

Oh, we met through his current girlfriend,

who's a very, very close friend of mine.

What...CURRENT girlfriend? What...?

-Eight years, it's not "current."

-Eight years...current.

His current girlfriend. And what do you like to do in your spare time?

Well, DJing is the prime hobby.

-And Andy?

-DJing, prime hobby.

Do you do it together?

-No, we're on rival radio stations.

-Occasionally.

You're on rival radio stations! What kind of radio stations are they?

Er, the one I'm on is on Sky, but his is on the internet.

LAUGHTER

I see what you mean, yes, rival radio stations, yep.

What sort of music do you play, Paul?

Well, it's a cross of jazz, soul, a bit of house music.

-Very good. Andy?

-Similar sort of stuff really, jazz funk, soul funk.

Almost identical.

OK, so you're going to compliment each other, in the sense

that you both have exactly the same area of expertise.

Great to have you on the show, a warm welcome,

we'll find out more about all of you as it goes along.

There's only one person left to introduce. He digs away

at the goldmine of obscurity, unearthing countless little nuggets.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everyone.

APPLAUSE

-Afternoon.

-And to you.

-Now a very unusual occurrence on Pointless,

-we start with four completely new pairs today.

-A clean sweep.

Last show we had three returning pairs that all got knocked out,

and one new pair who went through, so, no-one coming back.

-It's quite exciting, isn't it?

-Very exciting.

It's like a rebirth. We should have rival radio shows.

Let's do it. Let's do it.

How do you do it? How do set up your internet radio?

-Just a computer. Simple as that. Plug it in.

-Pay your PRS.

-You'll need a couple of records, of course.

-Oh.

-Ah.

-Mine's going to be talk-based.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

Mine's going to be facts about mountains,

that's all my show's going to be. Facts about mountains

and the occasional Inspiral Carpets record.

-Who's not going to want to listen to that?

-I'm in.

Yours will largely be Dvorak, and opera-based.

-Er...no, it will be a mixture of styles.

-Oh, really?

Country music, bit of accordion music, and some fiddle tunes.

LAUGHTER

-Sounds great.

-Doesn't it?

-Yeah.

-Let's do a show together. Don't you think?

-Seriously,

if anyone's listening - Radio 2.

We'd be good, wouldn't we?

-Yeah, I think we should.

-Yeah, it would be amazing.

Fiddle tunes, facts about mountains,

accordion-based music, Inspiral Carpets.

-Whoo.

-Yeah.

-It's a winner.

-Absolutely right.

-Done, let's do it.

Let's get on with the show, anyway. This show.

Yeah. That's good, that's brilliant.

Al our questions on Pointless are put to 100 people before the show.

In order to get through to the final round,

and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

all our contestants need to do is find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

The fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer, the fewer points.

Now what everyone's trying to do, of course, is to find a pointless answer

This is an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens we'll add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won our jackpot last time so we add another £1,000 to that,

so today's jackpot starts off at £6,250.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer,

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be

eliminated, so try and make sure that's not you.

OK, our first category today is...

It's exploration. Can you decide in your pairs, who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our question concerns...

Explorers and their first names, Richard.

Yes, on each pass we're going to give you surnames of seven

famous explorers, all you need to do tell us the first name by which

that are most usually known.

If you give us a nice most obscure answer you're going to score

fewer points, give us a incorrect answer, that will score you 100 points.

There will be 14 explorers to have a go at, at home. Good luck.

OK, thanks very much. Now Alexa and Ewan, you all drew lots

before the show, and today you are going first.

So, here we go, here is our first board of seven explorers, and we have got...

I'll read all those one last time.

There we are, seven famous explorers OK, so, Alexa, we are looking for

the first names of any of these explorers.

OK, I know a few of them,

but the one I'd like to go with is Amerigo Vespucci.

Amerigo Vespucci?

Amerigo Vespucci, let's see if it's right, and if it is, how many people that answer.

It's right.

Very well done indeed, Alexa.

Amerigo Vespucci, scores you 12.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Alexa, terrific answer. I can hear the disappointed groans

of all of your pupils, even now, as you got one right.

-They'll be furious, won't they?

-Mmm.

Yeah, Amerigo Vespucci. America is widely considered to have been named after him.

Steve, what are you thinking?

I'm reasonably confident on two, I think I'm going to go for

-Ernest Shackleton.

-Ernest Shackleton, says Steve,

let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100

said Ernest Shackleton.

Absolutely right.

31, for Ernest Shackleton.

-Richard.

-Yeah, born in County Clare, Ernest Shackleton, very good answer.

So, remember, we're looking for the first names of these explorers.

Dave, come on, Dave.

-Right, well the two I was going to say have gone.

-Ahh.

But I know another couple.

-I'll try Hillary, Edmund.

-Edmund Hillary, says Dave.

Edmund Hillary. Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

68.

APPLAUSE

68 for Edmund Hillary.

Yes, reached the summit of Everest with Tenzing Norgay of course,

-and earned his living as a beekeeper

-He was a beekeeper?

-Yeah.

Oh, there we go. I had no idea.

Erm, now then, Paul. Paul you're the last person to have this board.

-Francis Drake.

-Francis Drake says Paul,

let's see if it's right, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Francis Drake.

Absolutely right.

72 for Francis Drake.

APPLAUSE

Yes, the Elizabethan sailor and navigator, absolutely right.

Another big score, though. Let's take a look through the rest.

Columbus is obviously Christopher Columbus.

Would have scored you 87 points.

Amundsen is Roald Amundsen. Beat Captain Scott to the pole,

that would be 19. The best answer is Flinders,

and his name was Matthew Flinders, six points.

He was the first European to circumnavigate Australia,

first person to work out it was a continent, very well done if you said that at home.

I tell you what, our 100 are really on it, aren't they?

-Look at that.

-Yeah, some good scores.

-Some good scores.

I mean, Edmund Hillary, Christopher Columbus, there's some well known

-names there though.

-Yeah, but Flinders?

-Six.

-Six people knew Flinders, yeah.

I had no idea. I didn't know about Flinders. I know about him now.

-Of course I do.

-Matt Flinders.

-Yeah, Matt Flinders.

Anyway, we're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores as they stand.

12, the best score of the pass, from Alexa there.

Looking very very strong indeed, 12. Then we go up to 31, where we find

Steve and Kateline. Then up to 68, where we find Dave and Jason.

Then up to 72, where we find Paul and Andy.

So, Andy, you're not miles ahead, but you are the high scorers.

So, you're going to need to find a nice low score

to make sure you're with us after the end of this round, best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, let's put seven more famous explorers on the board

and here they are, we've got...

I'll repeat those all one last time.

There we are. Remember we are looking for the first name

of these explorers, and as ever, Andy, you'll try and find the one

you think fewest of our 100 people knew.

You're on 72, you're the high scorers.

We need a nice, low-scoring answer from you, Andy.

-Marco Polo.

-Marco Polo says Andy straight off,

there it is at the bottom. Marco Polo, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it. There's no red line for you, Andy,

cos you're the high scorers.

76.

76 takes your total up to 148.

Yeah. Venetian merchant traveller and writer Marco Polo,

and again, it's a big score.

Now then, Jason, the high scorers on 148 are Andy and Paul.

You are on 68 so a score of 79 or less will see you through to the next round.

In that case, can I go for Stanley Livingstone, please.

Stanley Livingstone, says Jason, Stanley Livingstone.

OK, here's your red line, if you get below that you are through to the next round.

Let's see if Stanley Livingstone is right. Let's see how many people said it, if it is.

Bad luck, Jason, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer, which scores you

the maximum of 100 points, which takes your total up to 168.

Yeah. Sorry, Jason. He was, of course, famously discovered

by Henry Stanley, but his first name not Stanley, I'm afraid.

It was very confidently given, though.

Now then, Kateline, you're on 31, you're through to the next round.

Even if you score 100 points, you won't overtake the high score

of 168, that Jason and Dave have just got. What are you thinking?

-I'm thinking, Henderson Cook.

-Henderson Cook.

Henderson Cook. OK, there's no red line for you, you're already through

to the next round, but let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said Henderson Cook.

Bad luck, Kateline, an incorrect answer,

scores 100 points, takes your total up to 131,

but you are through to the next round anyway, so it doesn't matter.

Yes, not Henderson, Kateline, I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Now then, Ewan, you're on 12.

You're also through to the next round, no matter what you score,

but I think, particularly with your mother standing at your side,

you will know a few of these answers take us through the board.

I think the only one I really knew was Marco Polo, to be honest...

It's a really tough board this one. The first one was much easier, wasn't it?

If only I had been taught it at school, you know.

So, I... I think I'll go for Cook, I'll guess I'll go for Connor Cook.

Connor Cook, say Ewan. Connor Cook.

Let's hear if Connor Cook is right. If it is, let's see how many people said it.

Another incorrect answer, another 100 points,

takes your total up to 112, but it couldn't matter less,

you're through to the next round.

I have to say, three wrong answers, given with such aplomb.

I know. If I wasn't here, you'd have accepted all of them.

You'd have gone, "Yeah, OK, you sound fairly sure."

Yeah, so not Connor Cook, I'm afraid,

-I blame the parents, or the teachers.

-Mmm.

-Or both.

Or both. It's not Connor Cook, it's not Henderson Cook,

as I think everyone at home knows, it's Captain Cook.

It's not really, it's James Cook,

James Cook and that would have scored you 40 points.

Let's clear up Livingstone as well, as I say, met Stanley, but it was David Livingstone.

That would have scored 28 points.

Raleigh, is Sir Walter Raleigh, of course.

Would have scored 93 points, that is a big score.

Magellan is Ferdinand Magellan, would've scored 11.

-Tasman, the first European to spy Tasmania.

-Tasmania.

It was Abel Tasman, it would have scored you seven points, a Dutchman.

And Jacques Cartier, is the best answer on that board, one point.

Very well done if you said Jacques Cartier.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of that round,

our losing pair, with the highest score, I'm afraid is Jason and Dave.

Anyway, listen, we will see you again, next time,

and we'll look forward to it very much indeed.

Meanwhile, Jason and Dave, thanks very much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

Well, so sadly at the end of this round, another pair will be leaving us.

I was just wondering which pair that's going to be.

That was quite an interesting first round, actually,

Paul and Andy, you were the highest scorers at the end of it,

but you're the only two not to score 100 points.

-That's good.

-There you are, not bad at all.

And Alexa, lovely answer from you, but Ewan.

And Steve and Kateline, not bad, not bad, you got through,

-a sort of middling score.

-Hmm.

Very, very best of luck to all three pairs.

Out category for round two is...

Words. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is, here it comes.

We gave 100 people, 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could, Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any word that has its own entry

in the Oxford Dictionary of English, that ends in the letters R-I-G-H-T.

As always, no trademarks, no proper nouns, no hyphenated words,

and we won't except the word "right" itself, in case you were tempted to give that.

Unusually, for one of these rounds, there's not hundreds of answers.

See how many you can get at home, before the end of this round.

OK, well thanks very much. Now then, Ewan, what is

the most obscure word ending in R-I-G-H-T that you can think of?

-I'll think I'll go for "forthright".

-"Forthright," says Ewan.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

He's right.

27.

APPLAUSE

27, for "forthright".

Direct and outspoken in manner, forthright.

-Kateline.

-Erm, "alright".

"Alright". "Alright", let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 said "alright".

It's right.

35.

APPLAUSE

Yes, it's just at the end of the 19th century they turned "all right"

into "alright". Some people still think you shouldn't use it,

but it's perfectly acceptable, it's like "altogether",

which used to be "all together", exactly the same process.

-Dropping an "L" in both cases.

-Dropping an "L", and merging.

-What did they do with that "L"?

-The "L"?

-They're just in the British Library.

-Are they?

Yeah, there's a room full of them, you can go see them if you want.

-I should like to do that.

-If you go into the lift at

the British Library, press the button marked "L",

-that'll take you to the "L Room".

-Very good.

-You know what shape the room is?

-No.

-Square.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, Paul.

Let's have a nice, low-scoring obscure word ending in R-I-G-H-T.

Let's say "buyright".

"Buyright," says Paul. "Buyright". Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said "buyright".

Yeah, bad luck Paul, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points, I'm sorry.

Yeah, sorry, Paul, not in the dictionary, there's "Byrite"

-the trademark, B-Y-R-I-T-E.

-Mister Byrite?

-Mister Byrite, absolutely, but no...

-What happened to Mrs Byrite?

-They divorced.

-Oh, really? Decree nisi, really, I had no idea.

-Yes, she's now Mrs Rymans.

-Ah.

-Yeah.

-Wow.

-What do you think about that?

-Wow.

-Yeah.

-Woah.

-Yeah, it was quite a scandal.

-She didn't hang around, did she?

Nothing "stationary" about her.

LAUGHTER AND GROANS

OK, now then, now then, we're half way through the round,

let's take a look at the scores. 27, Ewan scored there.

Your mother will be pleased with that, lowest score of the pass.

Then we go up to 35, where we find Kateline and Steve.

Then up to 100, where we find Paul and Andy.

You're a long way ahead, Andy, this is going to require

something pretty miraculous, but not least of all a very very low score

from you in the second pass, so good luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, so we're looking for words ending in R-I-G-H-T.

Andy, you're the high scorers, on a 100.

I'm going to have to gamble here, "enfright".

"Enfright", I like what you're doing there, "enfright".

No red line for you, you are the highest scorers, you just have to hope

this goes down as far as it possibly can. "Enfright", is it right?

How many people said it?

Bad luck, Andy, another incorrect answer, which I'm afraid takes

your total up to 200.

Sorry, Andy, a valiant effort, you did what Xander always suggests,

which is put those little words on the front of more common words,

often works, but not on this occasion, I'm afraid.

Now then, Steve, good news, you're through to the next round.

Let's have a brilliant answer from you, a nice low score.

I'll have a gamble, because we are through, I'm going to go

-"overfright".

-"Overfright," says Steve, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said "overfright".

You were taking a bit of a punt, you wouldn't have said that

if your survival in the game depended on it.

But it turns out "overfright" an incorrect word,

but we've all learned something, that scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 135.

Quite enjoying a round of everybody adding something to the beginning of fright

-to see if they can get a pointless answer.

-Yeah.

Alexa, again you're through to the next round,

you're already in the head to head, but let's have some fun,

let's see if you can find a really nice obscure word

-ending R-I-G-H-T.

-Erm, "wheelwright".

OK, let's see if that's right, and if it is, see how many of our 100 said "wheelwright".

It's right.

12.

APPLAUSE

12 for "wheelwright", takes your total up to 39.

Very well played, Alexa, someone who makes or mends wooden wheels.

Er, there's actually quite a few of those job titles ones

on the list here, none of them pointless.

But you could have had, I mean "right" itself, would have scored you

16 points, "shipwright" 7, "wainwright" 6,

"playwright" five, "cartwright" would have scored you three points.

So, all those would have been good answers. Now, we had "enfright",

and "overfright".

There's only two pointless answers on this whole list,

the first one of which, to scare someone "affright".

To affright, so if we had played all day someone would have eventually

stumbled across it, I suspect.

And "millwright" is the other pointless answer there.

A couple of very low scorers, could have had "eyebright",

which is a type of flower, that would have been two points.

And "a'right" rather than "alright", would have scored you two as well.

Let's take a look at the most popular answers, the ones

that most of our 100 people said.

"Alright" 35, actually the third biggest scorer of all.

"Fright" with 53.

And right at the top, "bright" with a very big score of 70, up there.

And there were a couple of others you could have had, "upright",

"outright", "birthright", "copyright", "downright".

Wow, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of Round Two, are losing pair, with the highest score,

I'm afraid Andy and Paul, are newest members of the 200 club.

Anyway, very very well done, Andy and Paul, it's been lovely

having you on the show, we'll have you again next time,

-and look forward to that very much.

-Thank you.

-Cheers.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, the things are about to get

more exciting, as we enter the Head To Head.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations Alexa and Ewan Steve and Kateline,

you're now only one round away from our final,

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at...

APPLAUSE

So, you're now going to go Head To Head, the first pair

to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot,

but the big news is that you are now allowed to confer.

This makes all the difference in the world.

Anyway, best of luck to both pairs, let's play the Head To Head.

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Famous brides, Richard.

Mmm, we're going to show you five pictures now, of famous couples

on their wedding day, but in each case we've obscured the face of the bride.

-With a veil?

-In a celebrity stalker type way.

-Oh, I see.

Yeah. Can you name the bride, in question?

And we need the name of the bride before she got married, please.

So, the name of the bride before she got married to the groom.

OK, thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five famous brides,

and here they come, we have got...

LAUGHTER

OK, there we are, five famous brides Now, Alexa and Ewan,

you've played best, throughout the show, so far, so you get to go first

WHISPERING

We'll go for D, and it's Nancy Shriver.

Nancy Shriver, D, say Alexa and Ewan, Nancy Shriver.

Steve and Kateline.

-You can talk us through the board. if you want.

-We'll go for A,

-Grace Kelly.

-Grace Kelly, you are saying for A.

OK, so we have Nancy Shriver, and we have Grace Kelly.

Alexa and Ewan said Nancy Shriver, for D, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said it.

Ooh, bad luck. Bad luck, an incorrect answer.

We will discover why shortly.

Steve and Kateline, you have said that A is Grace Kelly.

A, Grace Kelly, let's see if that's right, which is all it has to be at this stage.

Absolutely right.

Oh, it's a low score, look at that, down it goes, 11.

11 for Grace Kelly, very well done, indeed.

All it had to be, in the circumstances, was right,

and it was that, which means Steve and Kateline, you are up 1-0,

-after one question. Richard.

-Yeah, good answer, Steve and Kateline,

of course that's Grace Kelly, marrying Prince Rainier of Monaco, in 1956.

You weren't a million miles away with Nancy Shriver, absolutely thinking

on the right lines. Nancy Shevell is the name of the lady

marrying Sir Paul McCartney, would have scored you three points as well.

Would have been the best answer on the board.

Tough luck. B was Katie Holmes, marrying Tom Cruise.

That would have scored you, 38 points.

C is Kate Moss, marrying Jamie Hince, in 2011.

That would have scored 17.

And right at the end, Catherine Middleton, believe it or not,

marrying Prince William, that would have scored 68 points. Wow.

A lot of people couldn't name her. There were 2 billion people watching that wedding.

Thanks very much, here comes your second question, Alexa and Ewan,

you have to win this one to stay in the game, best of luck.

It concerns...

Agatha Christie novels, Richard.

For this question we're going to show the names of five

Agatha Christie novels, but we've left the last word of each one blank.

Can you fill in those blanks and find the most obscure answer?

OK, let's reveal our five Agatha Christie novels, and here they come,

we have got...

I'll read those one last time.

There we are, five Agatha Christie stories,

Steve and Kateline, you go first, this time.

I think we're going to say, "Cat Among The Pigeons".

"Cat Among The Pigeons", say Steve and Kateline.

Alexa And Ewan, talk us through all of the answers.

I'm afraid this isn't the strength of ours, by any means.

We're going to go "Evil Under The Sun", but I don't know if that's right.

"Evil Under The Sun," say Alexa and Ewan.

So we have "Cat Among The Pigeons" and "Evil Under The Sun".

This is the one you have to win, Alexa and Ewan, to stay in the game.

In the order they were given, "Cat Among The Pigeons", let's see

if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said "Cat Among The Pigeons".

68. It was right.

APPLAUSE

And it scored 68, so, Alexa and Ewan you have to be correct

with "Evil Under The Sun", if it is correct it has to be 68.

Best of luck. Is it right? How many people said "Evil Under The Sun"?

It's right,

and it beats 68, very well done.

38.

Absolutely what you had to do there, Alexa and Ewan,

very well done indeed. After two questions it's one all, Richard.

Yeah, both of those Hercule Poirot novels, "Evil Under The Sun" filmed

with Peter Ustinov and Diana Rigg. The other three are all Miss Marple stories,

-"4.50 From..."

-"Paddington."

-"..Paddington", absolutely right.

-That would have scored 26. "A Murder Is..."

-"Announced".

"Announced", that is absolutely right, that would have scored 23.

-And "The Body In The..."

-"Library".

-Also correct,

and that's the answer there, that would have scored 22 points.

-You've appeared in a Marple.

-I was in "A Murder Is Announced",

-in fact.

-Were you?

-Yeah.

-I bet you were terrific.

-I was the Inspector.

-You were the inspector?

-Yeah.

-You'd be a good inspector, I can see that.

-Yeah, yeah.

You've got like an air of gravitas, but also some charm,

-superficial charm, but it is charm.

-Yeah, yeah.

-You know here you'd be a good copper.

-There we are, "A Murder Is Announced".

OK, well thanks very much indeed, here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this question, goes through to the final,

and plays for that massive jackpot. Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question concerns...

-Manchester United, Richard.

-Sorry for this deciding question,

one of those categories people kill for, in some shows.

We're simply going to show you five questions, which lead to facts

about Manchester United. Can you give us the most obscure answer here?

Very best of luck to both teams.

Let's reveal our five clues to facts about Man United,

and here they come, we have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, five clues to facts about Manchester United.

Now then, Alexa and Ewan, you go first.

-Any idea?

-Erm, we know nothing about football,

-nothing about Manchester United.

-But, Ewan I thought this was where

-you came in.

-Ah, well, I don't play football.

And I'm not English, so, I don't know.

-OK.

-So, we're going to take a total guess.

-The year they won the premiership, erm, 1998?

-Yeah, go on then.

1998, say Alexa and Ewan, 1998.

Steve and Kateline, you can talk us through the board.

-You can supply all these answers, if you like.

-Oh, if you like.

Name given to the young team of the fifties was, "Busby's Babes".

The present ground is "Old Trafford"

I could take a punt on the name of the club when they were founded.

-What would your punt be?

-My punt would be "Newton Heath".

-OK.

-But I think would like to answer the same,

the year they won the Premiership, FA Cup, if I'm allowed to do that?

-Yep.

-That was 1999.

1999, says Steve.

So, Alexa and Ewan are saying 1998, let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Bad luck, Alexa and Ewan. Certainly Steve gave that answer

authoritatively, let's see if it is indeed right, at this stage

all it has to be is right, and Steve and Kateline will go through

to the final. Is it right? 1999.

Absolutely right, very well done, Steve and Kateline.

12.

Great answer, great result.

Steve and Kateline, after three questions, you're through

to the final, 2-1.

Very well played, Steve. They sealed that treble beating Bayern Munich

with two very late goals, in the Champion's League Final.

You did very well on the others as well, actually. The name of

their present ground, absolutely is "Old Trafford".

Would have scored 50 points though, I thought it would have scored more than that.

The name given to the young team, the "Busby Babes".

Would have scored 35.

You're right about the name of the club as well,

it was "Newton Heath". Actually "Newton Heath LYR FC",

the LYR standing for Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway.

But I'd have taken Newton Heath, would have scored you six points.

Would have been a terrific answer. And the name of their

number one single, they recorded it with Status Quo,

it was "Come On You Reds". That would have scored two points,

so that's the best answer on that board, very well done,

if you had said that.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, the losing pair at the end of

the Head To Head is Alexa and Ewan.

Well that was tough, English football.

Mind you only, you're only one year out, your reasoning wasn't bad.

-It was a good guess.

-A very good guess indeed.

All the more painful for being so close, but so wrong.

But anyway we'll see you again next time, you performed so well

throughout the show, I'm sure you'll do just as well next time.

Maybe even better, look forward to that very much indeed,

meanwhile thanks very much for playing, Alexa and Ewan.

But for Steve and Kateline, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Steve and Kateline, you fought off all the competition,

and you've won our coveted Pointless Trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless Jackpot,

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at...

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

You've done so well to end up here, you've played a nice steady game,

and we've tested you pretty hard, I mean there's not much

we've left off, I think. You happy with your progress, Kateline?

-Yes, actually, very happy.

-Justly proud.

Well, let's hope you can make it through the next round,

now the rules are very very simple, all you have to do to win that money

is to find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today,

you only have to find one now, and you will leave with

that £6,250 jackpot.

First you've got to find a category.

You have a choice of five, you can make you choice from these options..

THEY CONFER

It's as good as anything up there, for me.

Contemporary Artist or Hollywood Actresses?

-Try Hollywood Actresses?

-Let's try Hollywood Actresses.

-Hollywood Actresses, please.

-Hollywood Actresses it is,

OK, here it is, we gave 100 people, 100 seconds to name as many

..as they could.

-Richard.

-Yes, we're looking for any feature film, made for cinema release

to the beginning of May 2012, please, for which Gwyneth Paltrow has

received an acting credit, as always no TV films, short films,

or documentaries, but voice performances do count,

-very very best of luck.

-OK, you now have up to one minute

to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot

of £6,250, is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Ready.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock, there they are, your time starts now

I know "Sliding Doors". "Shakespeare In Love".

-"Shakespeare In Love", yeah.

-And that one with Michael Douglas

when she was er... you know when erm...

He wanted her to get killed for the insurance money,

-what was that again.

-You're on your own with that one.

-OK, and we need another one, don't we.

-Yeah.

"Iron Man", that will do, the most recent one.

-Well we could try.

-Yeah, "Iron Man", did she do two of them?

-Yes, there were two.

-We'll go for "Iron Man".

"Shakespeare In Love", and "Sliding Doors".

-Gosh.

-Can you think what that was, Michael Douglas?

I watched that recently, I can't remember the name.

Michael Douglas was the husband, and she was having an affair

with a guy... Ahh. Wall Street...

Ten seconds left.

Let's go for "Sliding Doors", "Shakespeare In Love" and "Iron Man"

-Yeah.

-OK.

-OK, you're happy with your three choices?

-Yes.

-There we are, your time is now up.

We we're looking for Gwyneth Paltrow films, I now need your three answers

-"Sliding Doors".

-"Sliding Doors".

-"Shakespeare In Love".

-"Shakespeare In Love".

-"Iron Man".

-And "Iron Man".

Of those three, which do you reckon is your best

shot at a pointless answer.

"Sliding Doors". "Sliding Doors" we'll put third.

-Which is your least likely point?

-Probably "Iron Man".

-"Iron Man".

-OK, "Iron Man".

-Because it's so recent.

We'll put that up first then.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order,

and here they are, we have got...

OK, so we were looking for Gwyneth Paltrow films.

"Iron Man", you said was your confident shot at a pointless answer

You only need one of these answers to be pointless,

remember, to win that £6,250, so let's see,

for that jackpot, how many people said "Iron Man", is it right.

It's absolutely right.

Let's see how much our 100 people know about Gwyneth Paltrow films,

it's going down into the 20s, down into the teens.

Into single figures, still going down, six.

APPLAUSE

Oh, this is good. Now "Iron Man", you had no hesitation putting

as your least confident shot, at a pointless answer,

and only six people knew it.

I'd say we could draw quite a lot of confidence from that.

Unfortunately it's not a pointless answer,

you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Kateline, what would you do with £6,250.

There's a big birthday coming, so I'm thinking

-a trip to South Africa, so...

-Very good indeed.

-Some of it will go towards that.

-Wonderful. Steve, how about you?

Well, I have a morbid fear of flying with that I could possibly

have lessons to overcome that, and then fly to New Zealand.

With that you could probably become a pilot.

There you are.

OK, well very very best of luck, let's hope that one of your two

remaining answers will win that jackpot for you.

We're looking for Gwyneth Paltrow films, let's hope that nobody

said your next answer, "Shakespeare In Love".

Remember it has to be correct, it has to be pointless, for you to win the jackpot.

So, for £6,250, let's see how many people said "Shakespeare In Love".

It's right.

Now your first answer, "Iron Man", went all the way down to six.

This is your second answer, your second shot at that jackpot

of £6,250, if this goes down to zero, you need... Ooh!

Six again.

OK, you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on "Sliding Doors".

You have to hope it goes all the way down to zero,

and if it does that you will leave here with £6,250.

We're looking for Gwyneth Paltrow films. You said that this was your

most confident answer, let's find out if it is pointless.

How many people said "Sliding Doors"

Well, it's also right, as you're first two answers have been,

although "Iron Man" and "Shakespeare In Love" both stopped on six.

Where will "Sliding Doors" stop?

13.

Wow. Well, unfortunately you didn't manage to find that all important

pointless answer, but you do still get to take home

our Pointless Trophy, so very very well done indeed for that.

Thank you.

It's actually one of the biggest scorers of all on the whole list

actually, "Sliding Doors", which is testament to it, I think.

Erm, you mentioned "Iron Man 2", at one point, that would have been a

better answer than "Iron Man", but it wouldn't have been pointless,

would have scored you four points.

But Kateline, I was just listening to you talking about this

-Michael Douglas film.

-Yes, saw it recently too.

Yeah, you've gone through the whole plot of one of the pointless answers

on this board.

-That's "A Perfect Murder".

-"A Perfect Murder". Oh no.

-Yeah.

It's a remake of the Hitchcock "Dial M For Murder".

That's right I saw it just recently, yeah.

Would have won you the money, I'm afraid, so that's very tough luck.

Let's take a look at some other pointless answers.

Maybe some more you recognise.

There's "A Perfect Murder". "Duets", where she was directed by

her father Bruce Paltrow.

"Hook", she plays the young Wendy Darling in that.

"Infamous", a Truman Capote film.

She was in "Proof" with Anthony Hopkins.

The big sci-fi movie, "Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow",

that she starred in with Jude Law, that would have been

a pointless answer.

"Sylvia", where she played Sylvia Plath.

"The Good Night", which is written and directed by her brother

Jake Paltrow, Martin Freeman also in that.

And the David Schwimmer comedy "Pallbearer".

All of those pointless answers, there's a few more,

"Austin Powers in Gold Member", "Jefferson In Paris", "Malice",

"Mrs Parker And The Vicious Circle", and "The Royal Tenenbaums".

All of those were pointless answers, very well done if you got any of

those at home, but tough luck, I could here you going through it

all the way through that 60 seconds, I was willing you to get it.

Bad luck, that's so tough, isn't it? "A Perfect Murder".

I suppose yes, "A Perfect Murder", yeah.

-I'll never forget that now.

-No you won't.

I'm not going to allow you to forget it.

Well, unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you, Steve and Kateline,

but it has been wonderful to have you on the show.

Thank you both so much for playing, great contestants.

Thank you.

Well, Steve and Kateline didn't win our jackpot today,

so it rolls over, which means on the next show we will

be playing for...

APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it, meanwhile it's

-goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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