Episode 59 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you can.

To do that, you need to come up with the answers that no-one else

could think of. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

First up, we welcome Rachael and Brian. How do you two know each other?

-This is my dad.

-What do you do, Brian?

I'm a gas engineer.

-How about you, Rachael?

-I'm a student at Lancaster University.

-What are you studying?

-English and theatre.

-So drama is going to be great for you?

-Hopefully.

-Literature too.

Brian, anything you hope really doesn't come up today?

Sport, especially football.

Sport, especially football? That's the opposite of what people usually say.

I've never watched a football life...football match in my life.

Welcome to the show, Rachael and Brian, it's great to have you here.

Next, we welcome Shani and Lloyd. How do you two know each other?

This is my lovely mother.

-What do you do, Shani?

-I'm a dog boarder.

-I board dogs in my home.

-Phew! I'm so glad you clarified that.

I thought it was going to be some extreme form of skateboarding!

Or something a whole lot worse!

What do you like to get up to in your spare time, Lloyd?

I've just run a half-marathon. I'm training for another one.

-Good for you.

-Er, play a lot of golf.

My girlfriend hates it but I'd be out every single day of the week to play golf if I could.

What are you hoping is going to come up today, Shani?

Er, dogs!

-Yes.

-Television.

-Yeah.

-Music.

Lloyd, anything you want to add to that?

-Sport, I'd like sport. Especially football.

-Especially football.

Possibly Middlesbrough from 1996 to current-day football.

There we are. Very good indeed. Best of luck, Shani and Lloyd.

It's great to have you here. Next, we welcome Claire and Nat.

-How do you two know each other?

-We're old friends from primary school.

I decided to apply for Pointless, put it out on Twitter

and Nat said he'd like to join.

-We've sort of been reunited through that.

-Really?

-Yeah.

We haven't seen each other for about six years.

Pointless reunited! That's fantastic.

We should offer that as a kind of service, shouldn't we?

I would see how it ends before we offer it as a service!

Good thinking, yeah.

So, Claire, what do you do?

I'm in limbo between my undergraduate degree

and going into postgrad, so...

-You've just finished your undergrad, what was that in?

-German at Oxford University.

-What's the postgrad going to be?

-Theatre for a year.

-So it's writing, directing and performing.

-Nat, how about you?

I've still got a year left of studying at Edinburgh University.

-What are you studying?

-English literature and history.

-Very good.

You've got a lot between you.

Is there anything you aren't feeling that confident about, Claire?

Geography outside of Europe, er, sport...

-Nat, how about you?

-Also sport, unless it's the Premier League season that's just gone.

-Anything before that, I can't really do.

-OK.

Claire, Nat, great to have you here. Very best of luck to you.

Finally, we welcome back Allan and Evelyn, who were on the show last time. Everyone gets two chances

to reach the Pointless final. This is your second and final chance.

Remind us how you and Evelyn know each other.

We've been married 43 years, we met in the army, back in 1968.

Have you got anyone watching you at home?

My little grandchildren phoned me up last night.

Can we say hello to them?

-How many have you got?

-Five.

-What are their names?

Sophie, William, Scott, Katie and Euan.

Wow, excellent. And Evelyn, what happened last time?

We got to the head-to-head

-and it was...liquid volumes.

-Oh, that's right.

You went with gill, they went with fluid ounce.

Who would have thought fluid ounce was going to score so little?

What are you hoping is going to come up?

You were pretty good last time, it has to be said.

-Not giving away any secrets!

-I like a bit of sport, I think.

-Especially football.

-Bit of sport.

-Very good.

You won't need it but best of luck to the pair of you, it's great to have you back.

We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

The fruit of the obscurity tree is ripe and in season

and he has been filling his basket.

LAUGHTER

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everyone.

APPLAUSE

-Afternoon.

-Afternoon to you.

Still exciting, isn't it, the jackpot?

-Stays with us.

-It's getting ridiculous.

It's the biggest jackpot we've ever had, we cannot give it away, can we?

-No.

-We've got four pairs today, only one returning pair -

that's Allan and Evelyn. They were,

just to warn the other pairs, they were terrific last time.

-Can I just say hello to some people?

-Yes, course you can.

I want to say hello to Sophie, William, Scott, Katie and Euan,

-if you're watching at home. Is that all right?

-Yes.

Have you got anyone you want to say hello to?

If I can, just Katie, Euan, Sophie, William and Scott.

Ooh, well done!

-Can I say hello to them?

-You see, I'd written them down

but he did that...

-That was very good.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

To get to the final round and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our contestants need to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

The fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer,

the fewer points you will score.

What everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time so we add another £1,000 to that.

Today's jackpot starts off at an absolutely record-breaking...

It's got to go one of these days.

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer.

You cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated,

so try and make sure that's not you.

Our first category today is...

Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what our question concerns.

And it is...

Film characters and their films, Richard.

In a moment, Xander's going to show you a list

of six famous film characters.

You need to tell us the name of any film

that any of these characters have ever appeared in.

That's up to the start of May 2012, please.

So any film that any of the six characters you're about to see

have appeared in, please.

Thanks very much, Richard. Rachael and Brian, you all drew lots before the show today.

You're going to go first. Our six film characters are...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now remember, Rachael, you are looking

for any film which features any of these six characters.

What are you thinking?

Well, quite a few of them are quite obvious.

Er, but I'm going to go for John McClane,

Die Hard With A Vengeance.

John McClane, Die Hard With A Vengeance.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many of our 100 said it.

It's right.

29.

APPLAUSE

29 for Die Hard With A Vengeance.

Well played, Rachael. Good start, the third in that series of films

with Jeremy Irons as the baddie.

-It's always a Brit who's the baddie.

-Always a Brit.

You'd make a brilliant baddie in a film like that.

-Do you think?

-Yeah!

Oh... At that desk, in fact, with that computer.

It would be a little bit close to what I do in real life though,

is the problem, cos I've got all sorts of evil plots, is the truth.

Some of those must be pretty much ripe, ready to go off any minute!

Yeah, I'm currently gaining computer control of The Shard

in the City of London.

I'm going to ransom that for 14 billion.

But I'll let you know by the end of the show how that goes.

OK, thanks very much indeed. Now then, Lloyd.

I know an answer for all of them, I think,

but I'm trying to get an obscure one.

Er, I think Hannibal Lecter, Red Dragon.

Red Dragon, says Lloyd. Sounds good to me,

let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said Red Dragon.

It's right.

14, very well done.

14 for Red Dragon.

A good answer, Lloyd, very well played.

It's a prequel to the previous film, it was shot afterwards

so they had to make Anthony Hopkins look younger

than he was in the previous film.

It's quite a good excuse, that, isn't it?

-To...

-Well, if you've had lots of work done.

You can say, "Oh, I know, but we had to do a prequel to the..."

-The next series of this, we should do as a prequel.

-Yeah!

-Let's do that!

-Let's do that!

-We could get everything done.

We'll come back looking like this...

People will think they're watching the Weakest Link again!

Claire.

Yes. I do recognise most of the names but I'm going to have to

go with something that's obvious so we don't get 100, hopefully.

So I'm going to say Bourne Ultimatum, Jason Bourne.

The Bourne Ultimatum. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said it. The Bourne Ultimatum.

It's correct.

20.

APPLAUSE

Not bad at all, Claire.

Bourne Ultimatum, good answer. It's the third of the Jason Bourne films.

Now, Allan, the most obscure film you can think so,

featuring any of these characters.

I know most of them. I'll go Jason Bourne,

The Bourne Supremacy.

The Bourne Supremacy, says Allan. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said The Bourne Supremacy.

It's right.

27.

APPLAUSE

27 for The Bourne Supremacy.

The Bourne Supremacy, the second of the Jason Bourne films,

directed by Paul Greengrass, a good answer.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Fantastic grouping there!

The best score, obviously,

was Lloyd's, so Lloyd and Shani looking strong on 14.

Then we come up to the tight grouping, 20, Claire and Nat.

27 where we find Allan and Evelyn,

and 29 where we find Brian and Rachael.

You're not far ahead, Brian.

But you are ahead, so we are going to need a low-scoring answer

from you in the next pass. Best of luck with that.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We are looking for feature films that feature any of these

six characters, Evelyn.

You want to find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

The high scorers are on 29, Brian and Rachael.

You're on 27. If you can score 1 or less,

you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers.

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom?

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, says Evelyn.

Let's see if that's right.

Here is your red line - very, very low.

Let's see how many people said Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom.

48.

APPLAUSE

48 takes your total up to 75. Richard.

Big score there, Evelyn. It's a correct answer though.

The second of the Indiana Jones films.

Nat, you're on 20.

The high scorers are Evelyn and Allan on 75.

If you can score 54 or less,

you're through to the next round.

There's a Hannibal Lecter film

that I'm not entirely sure of the wording of,

so I'll go for one I'm a bit surer on,

-and say Manhunter.

-Manhunter, says Nat,

Manhunter. Is it right? How many people said Manhunter?

Absolutely right.

And you're through, very well done.

6!

APPLAUSE

There we are, 6,

the best score of the pass,

for Manhunter. Takes your total up to 26.

Yes, the first film to feature Hannibal Lecter.

His name is spelt differently in that film but it's the same character.

It's the film that was remade as Red Dragon.

Now then, Shani. We are looking for any films that feature

any of these six characters.

The high scorers, on 75, are still Allan and Evelyn.

You're on 14, which means if you can score 60 or less,

you're through to the next round.

I'm going to let Lloyd down here,

but is Harry Callahan Dirty Harry?

Let's find out.

Is Harry Callahan Dirty Harry?

It's right.

And you're through.

44.

APPLAUSE

-Takes your total up to 58, Shani.

-Well done, Shani,

the first Dirty Harry film of all, called simply Dirty Harry.

Clint Eastwood, obviously, as Harry Callahan.

Now then, Brian, you are on 29. The high scorers remain Evelyn and Allan on 75.

If you can score 45 or less,

you're through to the next round.

I was hoping someone would give a Jack Ryan answer,

so give me a clue to who he is but they didn't.

So...I will say Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.

Good answer. Is it right? How many people said it?

It's correct.

You've done it!

Wow! You really have done it. 7.

Great score. Takes your total up to 36.

APPLAUSE

Yes, from 2008, Indy comes out of retirement

and his son Mutt, played by Shia LaBeouf, is in it as well.

There's no pointless answers at all but there's a few low scorers.

The Sum Of All Fears, a Jack Ryan movie,

would have scored you 1. Sudden Impact, that's a Dirty Harry film,

would have scored 2. The Dead Pool, also a Harry Callahan film,

that would have scored 5. A couple of other low scorers,

we've had Manhunter. Patriot Games would have scored 5,

another Jack Ryan film.

Magnum Force, another of the Dirty Harry films, would have scored 6.

Hannibal Rising, 7, might have been the film you were thinking of.

The Enforcer, that would have scored 7 as well. Well done if you said any of those.

At the end of our first round, the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm heartbroken to say, is Evelyn and Allan. You did so well,

low scorers in every round last time.

But I got to say hello to the grandchildren!

There we...

LAUGHTER

Allan and Evelyn, it's been lovely having you on both shows,

-you've been fantastic, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye so soon.

-We've enjoyed it.

Thanks very much for playing. Allan and Evelyn!

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

There's only going to be room for two pairs in our head-to-head round

so one of the pairs in front of me now will be leaving us at the end of this round.

I can't really work out which pair it's going to be.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...

Can you all decide who's going to go first and second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, the question concerns...

Constituencies of UK party leaders, Richard.

We're about to show you six UK parliamentary constituencies

on each board. Each of these was the constituency of someone who was a party leader,

some time in the last 25 years.

We're going to give you some initials as well.

Can you match the party leader to the constituency, please?

There'll be 12 to have a go at at home. Couple of them, quite tough.

Thanks very much, Richard. We are looking for the UK political party leaders

who have held these seats.

And we have got on our first board...

I'll read those all one last time.

OK, Brian, there are the constituencies and the initials

of the party leaders. Which is the most obscure party leader you can give me?

None! I think I know the top one so I'm going to have to go for that.

It's probably a massive score but I think it'll be Tony Blair.

Tony Blair for Sedgefield, let's see if that's right and how many people knew that answer.

40.

APPLAUSE

40 for Tony Blair.

Yes, prime minister from 1997 to 2007.

-Lloyd.

-Well, I know one definitely.

And I know another one, I think.

I'm going to go for the one that's a little bit more risky.

I think Yeovil, Paddy Ashdown.

Paddy Ashdown, Yeovil, says Lloyd.

Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that answer.

20.

Very well done, Lloyd,

20 for Paddy Ashdown.

Well done, good answer. He was previously leader of the Lib Dems

and the South-West, a Lib Dem stronghold.

-His real name is Jeremy.

-Was there already a politician

-who'd taken the name Jeremy Ashdown?

-So he had to change it?

He was born in India but brought up in Northern Ireland

so when he went to school in England,

he had an accent so they all called him Paddy.

Stands to reason.

It's like how you got the name "Thickie Armstrong".

It's the same thing, except Paddy, they would call him that.

-It's just a nickname.

-Oh, I see, fair enough.

-Claire.

-Yes.

-You're the last person to have this board.

You can talk us right the way through the board and then pick which one you want to submit.

I think the Brighton one would be the highest

cos I think that's the Green Party leader

but I can't think of her name.

I'd say the other ones would be

John Major, the bottom one?

Nick Clegg for Sheffield.

I'm going to go for Ming Campbell, but that's only by the initials!

North East Fife, Ming Campbell, says Claire.

Menzies Campbell. Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people knew that answer.

Absolutely right, Claire.

That's a brilliant answer, Claire. Very, very well done to you!

3 for Ming Campbell.

Well played, Claire, terrific answer. Joint best on the board.

He was Lib Dem leader in 2006, 2007.

He's the only leader on either of these boards to have represented Britain in the Olympics,

-he was a sprinter.

-Back in 1884!

Funnily enough, the other best answer you've also given us -

Caroline Lucas in Brighton Pavilion, as you say,

the leader of the Greens, would have scored you 3 points.

Huntingdon is John Major, would have scored 29.

You're right about Sheffield Hallam as well, it's Nick Clegg,

that would have scored you 32.

The best answers on the board, Menzies Campbell and Caroline Lucas.

-Well done if you said either of those.

-Thanks very much indeed.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

3 just scored there by Claire,

fabulous low score.

Claire and Nat once again looking very strong.

Then we travel up to 20, where we find Lloyd and Shani

then up to 40, where we find Brian and Rachael. So, Rachael,

we're going to need a really low score from you as you are the high scorers at the moment.

Very best of luck with that.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're going to put six more constituencies on the board,

here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

We're looking for the UK political party leaders

who've held these seats.

Nat, you're going to try and guess the one you think the fewest

of our 100 people knew. You're the low scorers on 3,

the high scorers on 40 are Rachael and Brian. If you can score 36

or less, you are through to the next round.

I know a couple. I'm just trying to work out whether to play it safe

or not. I'll go for Chingford and Woodford Green,

-Iain Duncan Smith.

-Chingford and Woodford Green, Iain Duncan Smith,

says Nat. Here's your red line.

Get below that, you win the head-to-head.

Iain Duncan Smith. Is it right? How many people said it?

Absolutely right.

Very well done, you're through. Look at that!

Very well done indeed.

33 that scored you.

36 is now your total.

Well played, Nat, safely through.

He's one-eighth Japanese, Iain Duncan Smith.

-Is he really?

-Yes. Right hand.

LAUGHTER

Now then, OK, Shani, so these are the constituencies.

We want the names of the UK party leaders.

You're on 20. The high scorers are Rachael and Brian, still on 40. If you can score 19 or less,

you're through to the next round.

As my husband is from Northern Ireland, I'm hoping

-that North Antrim is Ian Paisley.

-Ian Paisley,

North Antrim, says Shani. How many people said Ian Paisley?

Absolutely... Ooh, well done!

19 is exactly what you needed to score,

it's what you did score, takes your total up to 39. Very well done.

Well played, Shani, the leader of the DUP from 1971 to 2008.

Rachael, I'm sorry to say, you are the highest scorers

even before you've given your answer. But, here's fun.

You're the last person to have the board,

-so you can talk us through it if you like.

-I'm rubbish with politics,

so I'm just going to have to guess one of them.

Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, Gordon Brown?

Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, Gordon Brown, says Rachael.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

38.

38, not a bad score at all.

Crucially, two lower than your dad's score in the first pass.

Takes your total up to 78.

Well done, Rachael, the good way to leave us, Gordon Brown.

What's the fact I always say about Gordon Brown when he comes up?

-Ah yes, his real name is James Brown.

-Yes.

-That's right.

Why would you change it? That's why I always mention it, cos James Brown would be much more popular.

He'd still be in power if he'd stuck with James Brown.

Yeah, yeah. Let's take a look through the rest, see if anyone got

all of these at home.

Islwyn is Neil Kinnock, would have scored you 10.

Banff and Buchan, do you know that?

-Alex Salmond.

-Alex Salmond of the SNP, would have scored 11.

The best answer on the board, Folkestone and Hythe?

-Michael Howard.

-Michael Howard, the former Tory leader, absolutely.

-4 points, that would have scored you.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

So we're at the end of Round Two.

Our losing pair with the highest score,

it's Rachael and Brian. Dear, oh dear.

That was quite a tough board.

But we will see you again next time, Rachael and Brian.

We'll look forward to that.

Thanks very much for playing. Lovely contestants. Rachael and Brian.

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get even more exciting,

as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Claire and Nat, Shani and Lloyd,

you are now only one round away from the final

and the chance to play for that jackpot, which currently stands at...

You're now going to go head to head.

The first person to win two questions will play for that jackpot. The difference is,

you are allowed to confer. If dogs come up, Lloyd,

you don't have to worry!

LAUGHTER

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Three-letter animals.

-Richard.

-What were you just saying?

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

We're going to show you five pictures

of animals who are commonly known by a three-letter name.

Can you identify one of these five animals, please? Very best of luck.

Thanks very much, Richard. Claire and Nat, you've played best

throughout the show so far so you get to go first.

Let's reveal our five three-letter animals. Here they are.

We have got...

There we are.

Five three-letter animals.

Claire and Nat, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you go first.

I only know D and E, do you know any of those?

B and C...

Going to take a bit of a risk, we're not sure on this one.

But I think C might be a...

gnu, G-N-U.

C, a gnu.

Shani and Lloyd, talk us through the board.

D is an emu, isn't it?

E is a fox.

B is an elk.

I'm not sure what A is.

-Go for B then.

-We'll go for B, an elk.

OK, B, elk.

So we have gnu versus elk.

Claire and...

So nearly said "gnat"!

LAUGHTER

Claire and Nat, you've gone for gnu.

Let's see if that's right and how many people knew gnu.

It's correct.

26.

Now we all know what a gnu looks like.

Shani and Lloyd have gone for elk, let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said elk.

Absolutely right. 26 is what it has to beat.

Oh, 44!

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Claire and Nat, after one question,

you're ahead, 1-0. Richard.

Good answer. Gnu, also known as a wildebeest.

There it is. Now, A in our three-letter animals?

It's a Maori bird, it's called a kea,

would have scored you 3 points.

Also known as the New Zealand mountain parrot.

D is the emu,

as I think you all knew. That would have scored you 66 points,

that wouldn't have saved you either. E is the fox.

-What do you think foxy scored?

-High.

-99.

-Wow, that is high, isn't it?

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your second question now.

Shani and Lloyd, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Our second question concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to show you the names of five US state capitals,

but in anagram form.

Can you unscramble these and pick the most obscure?

OK, let's reveal our five anagrammatic US state capitals. Here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There they are. Shani and Lloyd, you go first this time.

Go on then, it's your round.

Do you know any others?

OK, are we going to go with that?

We're going to go with the third one,

which is...

Denver.

Denver. Nerved. Denver.

So, Claire and Nat,

-can you talk us through the board?

-No!

That was the only one I had.

Er...

Well, I don't know one so I'll just have to say, you know...

Sumo Club, even though the letters don't fit,

I'll have to say Omaha, which is a state capital! But, er...

OK, Omaha. Omaha, says Nat.

So we have Denver playing Omaha. Shani and Lloyd said Denver,

is it right, how many people said it?

It's absolutely right.

Very well done, 42 is what it scored.

I think, in the event, it probably merely had to be right

because Claire and Nat have gone for Omaha,

which I think we know is incorrect.

There we are.

So, Shani and Lloyd, you did what you had to do.

After two questions, it's 1-1, very well done. Richard.

-Sorry, Nat, not an anagram and not a state capital either.

-Really?

-I thought it was Nebraska?

-Lincoln, Nebraska.

-Oh.

You'd have done better just unscrambling some words.

Sumo Club is Columbus, Ohio,

would have scored you 11.

Is A Nut is the capital of Texas, Austin.

Would have scored you 7.

-Inlaid Pianos...

-San something?

-Indianapolis.

-Oh, for heaven's sake.

Indianapolis, I know, when you see it!

That's Indiana. And Covered Pin,

Covered Pin is a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got that.

Any clue at all?

It's the capital of Rhode Island.

Oh, it's Providence.

Providence, Rhode Island.

Pointless answer, very well done

if you got that, that was a tough round.

There we are. Here comes your third question, very well done, Shani and Lloyd.

You are completely even. Whoever wins this question

goes through to the final. Best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question concerns...

Richard.

I'm going to give you five clues now to facts about horses

and horse-riding. Can you answer the most obscure of these?

Get into the final for that huge jackpot.

Very, very best of luck to both teams.

Let's reveal our five facts about horses and riding.

Here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about horses and riding.

Now then, Claire and Nat, you go first again.

I know the traditional unit of measurement.

-What's that?

-Hands.

I don't know any others.

Er, yeah, we only know the one,

so we'll just go for that.

The traditional unit of measurement for a horse's height, I believe,

-is hands.

-Hands.

-Yes.

-Hands.

OK, Shani and Lloyd, talk us through the board, if you can.

The number of disciplines in a one-day event is three, isn't it?

Dressage, cross-country and show-jumping.

I should know the grey horse.

I can't think who it is.

I should know it, I don't know it.

Isn't the polo a chukka? Is that what it's called?

-Go for the polo.

-We'll go for polo, chukka.

OK, chukka, you're saying. Chukka.

The periods of play in polo.

Claire and Nat have said hands is the unit of measurement

for a horse's height. Let's see if that's right and how many people said "hands".

Ooh, wow, 82.

APPLAUSE

82 for hands.

So, Shani and Lloyd, you said "chukka" is the period of play in a polo match.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

Absolutely right. Very well done!

39.

39 beats 82.

Which means, after three questions, Shani and Lloyd,

you are through to the final, 2-1. Richard.

Well played, Shani. Well played, Lloyd, good answer there.

Let's take a look at the rest.

You were right about the number of disciplines in a one-day event,

it's three. It's just a contraction of the three-day event

but it's the same three events, dressage, show-jumping, cross-country.

That would have scored you 22 points.

The grey horse that won the 1989 Gold Cup, you do know it,

it's Desert Orchid, of course.

Yes, 15 points.

The breed that comes from three 18th-century Arabian stallions?

All racehorses are this, it's just thoroughbred.

All racehorses are thoroughbreds, they all came from three Arabian stallions

which were imported in the 17th and 18th centuries.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid, Claire and Nat.

You did so well throughout the show.

Er, "gnu", inspired answer there.

I guess had the questions been the other way around,

-you'd have got Denver, and that was the only one.

-That was the only one Nat knew, yes.

We'll see you again next time, we'll look forward to that very much.

Thanks very much for playing. Claire and Nat!

For Shani and Lloyd, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Shani and Lloyd, you've fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

our record-breaking Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, that jackpot stands at...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We've taken you on a bit of a journey.

We've been through films, we've been through politics,

we've been through three-letter animals.

What would you like to see come up this round?

I'd like sport to come up so I can completely leave it over to Lloyd

-cos I thought I'd done my bit, I'm going to go home!

-You have.

A good sports question for you. Very, very best of luck.

The rules are very simple. To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today.

You only have to find one now though and you'll go home with that money.

First, you've got to choose a category, you have a choice of five.

They are...

-Right, OK...

-I know what you're going to go for.

Well, it's not just me, it's you.

No, it's you, you're going to go for football captains...are you?

We might have a guess at that,

at least be able to put an answer to it.

Well, think about it first. European pop stars.

I only know British ones, American.

-Let's go for football captains.

-Yes, we'll go for football captains.

-Football captains.

-I might surprise you!

You're going for football captains. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

-Richard.

-We're looking for anyone who's ever captained the Scottish national football team,

according to the official Scottish Football Association website.

First names and surnames, please.

Anyone who's ever captained the Scottish national football team.

Very, very best of luck, guys.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £18,750 is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

I can't definitely say I know a lot of captains

but I can think of a few well-known Scottish players,

er, that could have been.

A guy called John Collins played for Celtic, perhaps him.

John Hendry was a captain. Can you think of any?

Who was it that managed Middlesbrough? Wasn't he a...

-Tony Mowbray?

-No, one with ginger hair.

No, er, yeah...

Wasn't very good, but...

-Yeah, Gordon Strachan.

-Gordon Strachan.

He was definitely Scottish.

OK, er...

Who else?

I'm trying to think of any Scottish players, my mind's gone blank.

-John Hendry...

-10 seconds left.

-Collins, John Collins, Gordon Strachan.

-OK.

Your time's up. So we were looking for captains of the Scottish national football team.

I now need your three answers.

-OK, we're going to go for John Collins.

-John Collins.

Er...

-John Hendry.

-John Hendry.

-Strachan?

-Yeah. Gordon Strachan.

-And Gordon Strachan.

Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-John Collins.

-John Collins. We'll put John Collins last.

Which is your least likely to be pointless?

I think it's probably Gordon Strachan.

Gordon Strachan, we'll put Gordon Strachan first.

Let's put those up on the board in that order, then. Here they are.

We have got...

So we were looking for captains of the Scottish national team.

Your first answer, Gordon Strachan, was your least confident answer,

your least likely shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot of £18,750.

Gordon Strachan, let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Gordon Strachan.

It's right.

Your first answer of Gordon Strachan is absolutely bang on the money.

Down it goes, into the 30s, into the 20s.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you leave here with £18,750...

4!

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately not a pointless answer, but quite heartening that, isn't it?

-Quite pleased, yes!

-Only two more chances

to win today's jackpot. Shani, what would you do with £18,750?

I'd probably take my husband off to see the cricket in Sri Lanka.

And buy a kitchen table.

LAUGHTER

Lloyd?

-I think a good holiday.

-Yes, I think a very good holiday.

-Very nice holiday!

-Excellent, OK.

Very best of luck. Let's hope one of your two remaining answers

wins that jackpot for you.

We are looking for captains of the Scottish national team.

Your next answer was John Hendry.

This has to be correct, then it has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot.

For £18,750, how many people said "John Hendry"? Is it right?

Bad luck.

Bad luck. John Hendry was not a captain of the Scottish national side.

You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on John Collins.

We're looking for captains of the Scottish national football team.

John Collins was your third answer.

You thought this was your most confident shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find that one pointless answer, remember,

to win the jackpot. So, for £18,750, this has to be pointless.

Let's find out.

Is John Collins right? Is it a pointless answer? Best of luck.

AUDIENCE SIGHS

Bad luck.

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

but you do still get to take home the Pointless trophy

so well done for that.

Sorry, guys, these jackpot things do fall fairly randomly.

I think a Scottish pair would have killed for that category.

Let's go through the ones you gave us.

John Collins played for Scotland but never captained Scotland.

You're thinking of Colin Hendry, rather than John Hendry. Colin Hendry would have scored 5 points though

so it wouldn't have been a pointless answer.

You were saying, Lloyd, that your best subject ever

would be the history of Middlesbrough Football Club, 1996 onwards?

-Do you know a player called Stephen McManus?

-Yes, yes, I do.

-Yeah.

-Of Middlesbrough, captained Scotland.

-My dad is going to kill me.

-It was a pointless answer.

AUDIENCE SIGHS

It would have won you £18,750.

That is really, really tough, I'm sorry about that.

He's never going to live that down!

For any Scots watching, Danny McGrain is a pointless answer, unbelievably.

Bobby Moncur, Asa Hartford, Maurice Malpas.

All of those would have won you the money if you'd been here now.

Let's take a look at some more of them.

Bobby Evans, who captained briefly during the 1958 World Cup.

Christian Dailly was a pointless answer, Craig Levein.

Jock Shaw who was captain just after the war,

Paul McStay, of Chelsea, was a captain in the '90s.

Robert Smellie, who was captain... LAUGHTER

..in 1888, 1889, which I'm sure you got.

Sandy Jardine, the Rangers player, was captain in the '70s.

Tommy Boyd was a pointless answer, unbelievably.

And Tommy Docherty, perhaps more famous as a manager, of course.

All pointless answers. There's a few more obscure ones as well. Well done if you got any of those at home.

Tough luck, guys, that's really unlucky.

Oh, dear, Steve McManus.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Shani and Lloyd,

but it's been fantastic having you on the show, you've played so well.

-Brilliant contestants, thanks so much for playing.

-Thank you.

Shani and Lloyd didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we will be playing for...

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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