Episode 6 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where the aim of the game

is to score as few points as you can

and to do that, you need to come up with the answers

that no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

First we welcome back Mike and Jane. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

This is your second chance. Jane, what happened last time?

We were asked for top 40 hits of Elvis Presley

and I said Caught In A Trap, and, of course, it was the wrong answer.

It was Suspicious Minds by Elvis.

Right you are. You got caught in that particular trap.

-So, we're hoping head-to-head or further today, surely.

-Yes.

Now, last time, Mike, you revealed the first couple of verses of a poem

and we reckoned if you made it through to the final today,

we'd take the rest.

-Would you?

-That was the agreement.

-OK. That's a bit of pressure, isn't it?

-How long is the rest?

-Oh, it's another three verses.

-45 quartos.

-Three verses?

-Huge, yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah, go on. OK.

-You're on.

-That is a deal, then.

-Done. Very good.

-As my lookalike would say -

Mr Edmonds.

-Oh, Lord!

-Yeah, I get that.

-Kenny Rogers, I'd have settled on that.

-Yeah, Kenny Rogers.

Not tempted to change your hair at all?

-No! No, not at my age. I couldn't go spiky now.

-Eh...

Anyway, very best of luck. Let's hope we get you to the final

and we get to hear the rest of that poem.

And next, we welcome Rob and Ky. How do you two know each other?

We used to work together on a local paper down in Weymouth

but Rob has since left and is now...

Working as a postman/ freelance writer.

Now, do you do all your postal deliveries on foot?

I do. I have to push a big trolley, so it's quite heavy.

Do you wield your trolley back to the depot at the end of each day?

-Yes.

-I ask that for a reason, because quite often,

certainly around London, you find them left on the street.

-Really?

-Just left without a care in the world!

Anyway, so Rob, what did you used to write on the local...

-what was the paper?

-The Dorset Echo.

-The Dorset Echo?

Yeah, we both worked on the sports desk,

so pretty much gives away our strengths.

Right you are. Best of luck to the pair of you.

-Thanks.

-Great to have you on the show.

Next we welcome back Malcolm and Laura.

You were also on the show last time.

-Malcolm, remind us how you know each other.

-Uh, father and daughter.

And Laura, what happened last time?

We made it through to the head-to-head

-and went sort of down 3-1, so we got knocked...

-2-1.

2-1. It's not as bad as 3-1.

-It's not as bad, no.

-I'm a make-up artist!

Yeah. Malcolm, anything that didn't come up last time

you're hoping will come up today?

There was no sports last time. It'd be nice to see that.

OK, yeah. Laura, how about you?

Well, if sport comes up, I just hope I know something.

Um... History's not good for me.

It's kind of happened, so I don't really need to know about it.

LAUGHTER

I'm hoping... I'm just hoping I know something. That's all, really.

Very best of luck to you, Malcolm and Laura.

Finally, we welcome Paul and Emma. How do you two know each other?

-We're married.

-Where are you from, Emma?

-Truro in Cornwall.

So how did you meet, Paul and Emma?

-It was at a pub-crawl, stroke...

-A charity...

-A charity pub crawl.

At least we're not wearing what we were wearing them.

-What were you wearing?

-I was dressed as a fat man,

so I basically had my dad's suit on with lots of pillows shoved up.

I do that quite a lot.

And Emma was dressed as a horse.

-As you do.

-Both ends of the horse?

-Just the front end of the horse.

-Just the front end?

The fact we were both naturally attracted to each other

says a lot, really.

-That bodes well for the future.

-One to a fat man, the other to a horse.

-What will be brilliant Pointless fodder for you?

-'80s electro-pop.

Oh, very good. Favourite band?

-Pet Shop Boys.

-Very good. Emma?

Um... TV, movies, books.

OK. Good, good, good.

Best of luck to you, Paul and Emma. Great to have you on the show.

We'll find out more about you all as the show goes along.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

His IQ is nearly as high as his alcohol levels.

-It's my Pointless friend, Richard.

-Hiya.

Hello.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Afternoon to you.

-Top of the afternoon to you.

-Is that a new shirt?

-It is. Do you like it?

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

It's a nice colour. Suits you. We've a very well-travelled bunch today,

a lot of people asking for Geography. Round One will be good for the well-travelled

so that should suit everybody. For the other questions,

I've borne Laura's worries in mind,

so I won't do questions on anything that has ever happened.

-So don't worry about that.

-Phew!

Very good. Good precaution. Thank you so much, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless were put to 100 people before the show.

To get to the final round and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot

contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get,

so the fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer,

the fewer points they'll score. What everyone's trying to do

is to find a pointless answer, an answer none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Dan and Martin won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

OK, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

OK, our first category today is...

There we are. Can you all decide in your pairs

who'll go first, who'll go second.

Whoever's first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many African countries in the northern hemisphere

as they could. African countries in the northern hemisphere.

-Richard.

-We're looking for any African country

that is wholly or partly north of the equator, please.

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state

which is a member of the UN. Best of luck. Good luck at home as well.

Thanks very much. Now, Mike and Jane,

you all drew lots before the show, and today, you are going first.

So Jane, what is the most obscure African country

that is north of the equator you can think of?

Malawi.

Malawi, says Jane. OK, let's see if that's right

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Malawi.

Bad luck, Jane. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points. I'm sorry.

-Richard.

-Sorry, Jane.

-Entirely within the southern hemisphere, Malawi.

-Now then, Rob.

What is the most obscure African country in the northern hemisphere

-you can think of?

-There's a few I can think of,

but I think I'm going to play it reasonably safe

after that first answer,

and say Ethiopia.

Ethiopia, says Rob. Ethiopia. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 said Ethiopia.

It's right.

11!

APPLAUSE

Good score, Rob. 11 for Ethiopia.

Well played, Rob. Good start.

Landlocked country in the north-east of Africa.

It's the most populous landlocked country in the world, Ethiopia.

-Bet you didn't know that.

-I had no idea about that.

-It's true.

-I know now.

-Now then, Laura.

-Rob took...

-The most obscure... Sorry?

Rob took my answer.

So I'm going to have to go...

-I'm sorry.

-There are plenty.

-There are plenty,

but I just can't think north and south,

so I'm going to go with Egypt.

Egypt. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Egypt.

Very good.

35.

APPLAUSE

Not a bad score, 35 for Egypt.

It's a safe answer, Laura.

Well done. Do you want an Egypt fact?

I would love one.

Cairo is the first city in Africa to have an underground tube network.

There we go. Right, now then, Paul,

obscure African country in the northern hemisphere.

We've been to Lanzarote several times

and they get hit by sandstorms from the Sahara,

so I'm going to say the Western Sahara.

Western Sahara, says Paul.

I think that's quite a confident-looking face there.

That could be a brilliant answer.

Let's see, Western Sahara,

is it right? How many of our 100 people said Western Sahara?

You didn't... Gah!

Bad luck. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-Sorry, Paul.

-Sorry, Paul,

tough luck. It's a tricky one, Western Sahara. You see it on maps occasionally

but it's not an official country, not a member of the UN.

We're halfway through the round. Let's look at the scores.

Rob and Ky looking very, very strong on that 11 there.

Ethiopia, a great answer as it turns out.

35 for Laura and Malcolm, relatively strong.

Then up we go to 100, where we find Jane and Mike,

and Paul and Emma.

So Mike and Emma, it'll be a tussle between the pair of you

to see who stays and leaves at the end of the round.

We'll come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places on the podium?

OK, so we are looking for

African countries in the northern hemisphere.

Emma, you are the high scorers,

joint high scorers on 100 points, so we need a really low score.

Geography is a really terrible subject for me!

But I have to say, my son has been hounding me

around the house with his atlas.

So I'm going to try Djibouti.

Djibouti. Let's see - Djibouti.

Is it right? And, if it is, how many people said Djibouti?

It's right! Very well done, Emma.

Look at that! 1! 1!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Oh, nice!

That's a great answer.

The lowest score of the round so far. Takes your total up to 101.

Is it enough to see you through to the next round, I wonder. Richard.

Very well played indeed, Emma.

-In fact, we should say well played to your son.

-Yes.

-What's his name?

-Charlie.

-Well done, Charlie. Very well played.

Malcolm, the high scorers on 101 are Emma and Paul.

You're on 35, which means 65 or less

will see you into the next round.

African countries in the northern hemisphere is what we're after.

Er, I think Tunisia.

There is your red line.

Get below that and you're through to the next round.

Let's see if Tunisia's right and how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

Yep, you've done it.

24.

APPLAUSE

24 takes your total up to 59.

Tunisia, Richard.

Well done, Malcolm. The most northerly of the African countries.

While there is chaos all around them,

Malcolm and Laura have done a couple of solid, unspectacular answers,

which have seen you very safely through.

Ky. You are on 11.

The high scorers on 101 are Emma and Paul,

which means a score of 89 or less - absolutely fine.

So remember, we're looking for African countries

-in the northern hemisphere.

-Er, I think...

I'm going to play it safe and hopefully get us through.

I'm going to say Libya.

Let's see if Libya's right, and how many people said it.

Yep, you're through. Well done.

-22!

-APPLAUSE

The lowest joint score of the round.

-Libya.

-Well played, Ky. Exactly the right tactic.

The thing about Libya is, since the overthrow of Colonel Gaddafi,

one of the world's great trivia questions has been lost,

which is, what's the only country which has a single-coloured flag?

It was Libya - it used to be green and now it's all sorts of colours.

Now then, Mike.

Oh-ho, the moment of truth.

Yeah, a poem-saving answer.

-A poem-saving pointless answer.

-Yeah.

Burundi.

OK, Mike is saying Burundi. Let's see if Burundi is right,

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Burundi.

Oh, no! Mike!

I'm sorry.

Burundi, an incorrect answer,

which, I'm afraid, means you score the maximum of 100 points,

that takes your total up to 200. I'm sorry.

Phew-ee, Emma and Paul.

Nervy couple of seconds there.

-Richard.

-Yeah, sorry, Mike, in the southern hemisphere as well.

You'd have gone through

if you'd obeyed the first rule of Pointless Club.

What's the first rule of Pointless Club?

-Central African Republic.

-Always say Central African Republic.

There's a whole bunch of other pointless answers. Let's take a look.

Benin. There's our old friend, the Central African Republic -

the most pointless of all pointless answers. Gabon was pointless.

Democratic Republic of Congo, Equatorial Guinea, Guinea-Bissau.

Well done if you said any of these at home. South Sudan.

Welcome to the Pointless Club, South Sudan.

Sao Tome and Principe, Togo.

Well done if you got any of those pointless ones,

but Central African Republic would have seen them through.

Always, always give that as an answer.

Didn't work so well on the Pet Shop Boys singles round we did, did it?

-Only cos it was a B-side.

-It was a B-side, yeah.

Let's take a look at the worst answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said.

We've already had a couple of them.

There's Tunisia, we heard from Malcolm,

and the top two were the same, actually,

Morocco scored 35 and Egypt 35, so two of the top three answers there

but no incorrect answers, so you're through.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, the pair who will be leaving us,

the pair with the highest score, I'm afraid, Mike and Jane.

That's bad luck. And this is your second appearance, I'm afraid,

so this is where we say goodbye.

It was second round last time.

We had great hopes for you today,

but it's the 200 Club, Mike and Jane. Thank you for playing.

-Mike and Jane.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

We are down to three pairs, and at the end of this round,

it will be two pairs for the head-to-head.

Rob and Ky, on the strength of that round,

you would appear to be the pair to beat

or maybe that just fell very, very well for you. I don't know.

Paul and Emma, possibly a little bit unlucky there,

Western Sahara not being a country and all.

And then Djibouti! So what other books has your son

been chasing you around with before Pointless?

-Just the atlas.

-Just the atlas.

-So all other rounds, all bets are off now, are they?

-Absolutely.

OK, and Malcolm and Laura, as Richard said,

lovely, strong, consistent answers there. Very safe.

OK, anything can happen in this round.

Very best of luck to all pairs. Our category is...

Photography. Can you decide who's going first, who's going second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And our question concerns...

First Names of Famous Photographers. Richard.

We're going to give you the names of six famous photographers

on each pass, along with their year of birth.

Going to give you their surname and first initial,

you just have to tell us what that first initial stands for.

An obscure answer will score fewer points.

Incorrect answers, as always, will score 100 points.

It's going to be 12 photographers' first names to guess at home.

Thanks very much. We are looking for

the first names of these photographers,

and we have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

There you are, Ky.

Six photographers with their initials,

and what I want is the first name

of the most obscure one you can find on that board,

to which you know the answer.

No, I'm struggling. I'm just going to have to take

a complete stab at this and say David Bailey.

David Bailey. It's earned you a nod from Rob.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people knew that answer. David Bailey.

Absolutely right.

Ooh! 82.

Wow, 82.

It's a whole lot better than 100. It's 82. Richard.

-Was that a guess?

-Yeah, completely.

Wow, saved him 18 points.

Didn't it just? Very famous, as you can see. 82.

-That's a big score for anyone.

-Isn't it?

Laura.

OK, I know two others,

and I don't know which one is going to be the lowest.

So I'm going to go with Terence Donovan.

Terence Donovan, there you are.

Terence Donovan from the top of the page.

Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people knew Terence Donovan.

Very well done.

Down it goes, still going down.

10! Wow.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What about that, Laura?

Very well done, indeed. Terence Donovan.

Well played, Laura. Of a very similar vintage to David Bailey.

Remember the Robert Palmer video,

-Addicted To Love?

-Mmm.

-He directed that as well.

-Did he?

-Yeah.

-And there was a rumour that Terence was the...

Terry and Julie was Terence Donovan and Julie Christie

-in Waterloo Sunset.

-Terence Stamp, I think.

Is it? Of course it's Terence Stamp!

We can cut all that out so I look like less of a fool.

Why would it be Terence Donovan hanging out with Julie...?

-That doesn't make any sense.

-I don't know.

Yeah, good. Luckily, thank goodness for edit.

I think that's quite humanising, I think they should keep that in.

-Do you think?

-Yeah, it's quite nice.

-There we go. Now, then. Emma,

you're the last person to have this board.

You can talk us through it. Fill in all those first names.

I've never heard of the bottom two.

I think it's something like Mario Testino or something like that,

and I think it must be Alexander Armstrong-Jones.

LAUGHTER

I'm going to go for Mario Testino.

Mario Testino says Emma.

Mario Testino. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Absolutely right.

17! Wow.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Good choice of answer.

Lovely low score. Mario Testino.

Good answer. I wish you'd gone for Alexander Armstrong-Jones.

I'd have loved that. Yeah, Mario Testino,

one of the most famous fashion and celebrity photographers in the world.

Took one of the most famous shots ever of Princess Diana.

Famous session. Let's fill in the rest of the board.

It's not Alexander Armstrong-Jones...

-Antony.

-Antony Armstrong-Jones, absolutely right.

Lord Snowdon, probably better known as. 33 points.

Do you know...the bottom, do you know either of those two?

-I know Diane Arbus.

-Diane Arbus, absolutely right,

the amazing American photographer, would have scored you four.

And this one is the guy who took the shots for Joshua Tree, the U2 album.

Also is a film director since then.

Anton Corbijn. Would have scored five points.

Very well done if you got that.

Diane Arbus the best answer on that board.

Halfway through the round, let's look at the scores

as they stand. Laura and Malcolm

looking very strong indeed. Lovely low score of 10 from Laura.

Keep that sort of scoring up, Malcolm,

and you should see yourselves through to the head-to-head.

Up to 17, where we find Emma and Paul.

And then 82, Ky! David Bailey!

So much more famous than all the others.

Did you know any of the others at all?

-No.

-Right, OK.

-Not even Alexander Armstrong-Jones?

-No.

Rob, you did a bit of nodding there.

Which may just mean you'd heard of David Bailey

or that you know your photographers. Don't say anything.

We'll discover in the next pass,

but we're going to need a very low-scoring answer from you.

OK, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more photographers on the board

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all again.

We're looking for the first names of these photographers,

and you're trying to find the one

you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Paul, the high scorers

are Rob and Ky on 82.

You're on 17.

That means a score of 64 or less will keep you in the game.

-They might not be the high scorers for long.

-Do you know any of these?

I think I know the top one,

but I think I'm going to go for the bottom one.

Might be very obvious. I might be completely wrong.

-I'm going to say Linda McCartney.

-You think you might be wrong?

Well, I could be very wrong.

I'm trying to keep my record up of 100 every round.

Have you heard of someone called Linda McCartney?

I have. But not as a photographer.

OK, well, let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Linda McCartney.

Here is your red line.

Get below that, you're through to the next round. Is Paul right?

How many people said Linda McCartney?

Absolutely right.

73.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

73 takes your total up to 90.

-Richard.

-Yes, Linda McCartney started off as a photographer,

and a very good one.

Right. Very good. Rob, a lifeline. Phew!

That might be enough to see you through.

You just have to score seven or less when it comes to you.

Now then, Malcolm, you're on ten. On Easy Street. Paul and Emma

are the high scorers on 90,

so a score of 79 or less, and you and Laura just amble through

to the head-to-head.

I'm quite pleased to be possibly on Easy Street,

cos there's only one I know there. It's Patrick Lichfield.

Patrick Lichfield.

Here's your red line.

Below that, through you go. Let's see if Patrick Lichfield is right

and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right, and you are through. Very well done.

37.

37 takes your total up to 47.

Well done, Malcolm. Safely through again.

Through to another head-to-head.

Another lord, Lord Lichfield. They're all at it, aren't they?

Known for his travel photography,

but also lots of royal portraits, as you might imagine.

Rob.

The moment of truth. Paul and Emma are on 90. You're on 82.

A score of seven or less will keep you in the game. Seven or less.

What do you think of this board?

Erm, there's one I know.

-You're going to have to score low.

-Yeah.

I'll go with Annie Leibovitz and hope it's less than seven,

-but probably isn't.

-Annie Leibovitz. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Annie Leibovitz.

Ohh! 19.

APPLAUSE

It's a good answer. Nice low score, but not quite low enough.

That takes your total

to an unbeatable 101. Richard.

Yes, a correct answer, though. Annie Leibovitz.

She's photographed everybody,

including our very own Queen rather famously a few years ago.

A couple of answers up there would have won it for you.

-Do you know Cartier-Bresson?

-Er, Henri.

-Absolutely right.

Would have scored you ten points.

He was the founder, or one of the founders, of the Magnum Photo Agency.

Do you know why they named it the Magnum Photo Agency?

-No.

-In their first meeting, they had a magnum of champagne.

They thought it would be appropriate.

That's the French for you. They don't muck about.

The other two would have seen you through. Do you know Lachapelle?

-David?

-David Lachapelle, absolutely.

American society fashion photographer. Would have scored four.

-And the last one.

-Robert.

-Robert. Absolutely right.

Would have scored one point. He's the guy who took

the famous photo of the French couple kissing outside the Hotel de Ville.

Very well done if you got that.

Very well done to anyone who got all 12 of those. Very impressive.

Very good. OK, thank you, Richard.

At the end of Round Two, the losing pair with the highest score

is Rob and Ky.

Oh, dear. Such a strong start in Round One.

-I'll take the blame.

-I was going to guess at David,

but I knew Annie was correct. I was just hoping that it was less...

Yeah. Well, I think, actually before, she was,

obviously, a good deal less well known.

I think after taking the photograph of the Queen,

-she became better known.

-That's why I know her.

-It's probably the same for a lot of people.

-Yeah.

Well, that's a great shame because David Bailey

was an expensive mistake, Ky.

You're going to have to find some way next time of atoning for that.

I'll try.

Isn't that right, Rob? Ky can carry the can.

-Yes, that is correct.

-You've been great contestants.

We'll look forward to seeing you next time.

Rob and Ky, thanks very much for playing.

But for the remaining two pairs,

things are about to get even more exciting

as we enter the head-to-head.

So, congratulations Malcolm and Laura, Paul and Emma.

You are only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £1,000.

APPLAUSE

OK, you're now going head-to-head,

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot.

The great news is you can now confer.

You are teams now.

So Malcolm and Laura, here you are for the second time.

How does it feel?

-Feels good, but...

-We didn't think we'd get this far.

-No, we didn't.

-Do you think the advantage is with you, being returners?

-Not at all.

-Absolutely, yes.

-Really?

-Oh, yes.

We'll grind 'em into the ground.

I have to say, yours has been a stately,

sure-footed progress through the game, whereas Paul and Emma,

yours has been somewhat mercurial, I'd have to say.

By the skin of your Djibouti teeth, as well. Whoa!

And very lucky there with Mario Testino.

But there we are. Such is the luck that decides Pointless games.

Very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, so here is your first question, and it concerns...

Richard.

We're going to show you five photos of actors playing Robin Hood.

Can you name the actors and pick the most obscure? Good luck.

OK, let's reveal our five Robin Hoods and here they are.

We've got...

OK, there we are. Five Robin Hoods.

Now then, Malcolm and Laura,

you've played best throughout the show so far so you go first.

(Any ideas?)

(Obviously it's E, isn't it?)

OK, have we got an answer?

Erm, yeah, we're going for E and I believe it's an Errol Flynn.

E, Errol Flynn, say Malcolm and Laura. Errol Flynn, E.

Paul and Emma, talk us through the rest of the board.

OK, I don't know who A is,

B is Russell Crowe,

C is Kevin Costner

and I think that D is Cary Elwes.

I think that's his name.

And as B and C are going to be a higher score than E,

I think we're going to have to go with D.

I could be wrong but I think D is Cary Elwes.

-I think that's how you pronounce it.

-Cary Elwes.

C... That sounds like a very good answer - weird name.

CHUCKLING

OK, so, Emma, you're saying Cary Elwes.

Can you spell his surname?

Oh!

Now you're asking!

Erm, I think it's something along the lines of E-L-W-E-S.

-Something like that.

-E-L-W-E-S.

-Something along those sort of lines.

OK, very good.

Malcolm and Laura, you have said E, Errol Flynn.

E, Errol Flynn, let's see if that's right

and if it is let's see how many people said E was Errol Flynn.

Absolutely right!

25!

APPLAUSE

25 for Errol Flynn.

Paul and Emma, you have gone for Cary Elwes.

You've said Cary Elwes but you spelt it E-L-W-E-S.

Let's see if it's right and if it is let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right, well done!

Will it beat 25?

Yes!

Very well done indeed, Paul and Emma.

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, dear!

Ten beats 25, which means after one question,

-Paul and Emma, you are up 1-0.

-Well played, Emma.

Good answer and good spelling as well.

It's Cary El-wes, is how you pronounce it.

That's from Robin Hood Men In Tights, the Mel Brooks film.

Errol Flynn also a good answer at 25.

The best answer on the board is A and that's from 1922.

Very well done for 2 points if you said Douglas Fairbanks.

-AUDIENCE MEMBER:

-Yes!

Douglas Fairbanks.

Judging from the yelp of, "Yes," from the audience,

someone in the audience got it, which is very well played.

Let's take a look at the others.

B is Russell Crowe, of course, in the Ridley Scott film.

58 points that would have scored you.

In the battle of the big guys, Kevin Costner would have scored 61,

so just beats Russell Crowe.

-Russell Crowe will be...fuming!

-He will not like that. Yeah.

Thank you very much, Richard.

So, at the end of that round, Paul and Emma are up 1-0.

Here comes your second question.

Malcolm and Laura, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Very best of luck.

It concerns...

-Richard?

-We're simply going to show you the names of five UK cities

but they are in anagram form.

Unscramble them and give us the most obscure. Good luck.

See if you can get all five of these at home.

OK, here are our five anagrams of UK cities and we have got...

Now then, Paul and Emma, you can have a moment,

but it is you to answer first.

And, Malcolm and Laura, I'm just going to remind you

you have to win this question.

OK, then, Paul and Emma.

Well, we think we know three of them,

but we're going to go for "busy lairs" as Salisbury.

Salisbury. Salisbury.

Malcolm and Laura?

-(Lancaster?)

-(Yeah.)

-Er, we're going for the top one. We think it's Lancaster.

-Lancaster.

OK, so, we have, "busy lairs", Salisbury, from Paul and Emma.

Let's see if that's right and if it is

let's see how many of our people said Salisbury for "busy lairs".

Absolutely right!

19!

APPLAUSE

19, for Salisbury.

So, Malcolm and Laura,

to stay in the game, "ancestral", Lancaster, has to beat 19.

Best of luck.

How many of our 100 people said Lancaster for "ancestral"?

It's right.

Needs to go below 19 if you're going to stay...

Oh! 23.

-GROANING AND APPLAUSE

-Oh, dear!

Well, very well done, Paul and Emma.

Salisbury, 19, beating Lancaster, 23,

means after only two questions you are through to the final, 2-0.

You had a bit of luck getting to the head-to-head

but you haven't needed any luck in it.

Two brilliant answers, 2-0. Lancaster, so unlucky.

A couple of answers would've won you the point. Let's take a look at them.

Xander, do you want to take a look? "Nerviness"?

-Inverness.

-Inverness, exactly, but that's a big scorer.

That's 68. "Liked a few"?

-Hang on.

-It's a city of West Yorkshire.

Oh, Wakefield!

Wakefield, absolutely right. Would have got you 11.

-The best answer on the board...

-Graham?!

..is Graham and every viewer in Northern Ireland

is now screaming at their TV screens.

-Armagh!

-Armagh! That's exactly right.

-Armagh would have scored eight points.

-Blimey!

It's got two cathedrals, Armagh, and they're both called St Patrick's.

-That's nice.

-That's nice.

-That is nice.

But well done if you got all of those.

Thank you very much, Richard.

What a great... that was a very good round.

-Really hard some of those.

-Yeah, they're difficult, aren't they?

So, the losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid, Malcolm and Laura,

you've done so well throughout the show so far.

In fact, both shows.

Straight through to the head-to-head in each one

and I'm afraid, great answers though you gave...

-Anagrams, they're not our strongest point!

-Oh, they're hard, though.

We actually hoped they didn't come up but...

Bad luck, bad luck! But you've done so well.

A very creditable performance over the two shows.

Sorry we have to say goodbye to you now.

-Malcolm and Laura, thank you so much for playing. Great game.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Paul and Emma it's now time for our Pointless final.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Paul and Emma.

You deftly fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

and at the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £1,000.

-There it is.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Paul, at the beginning of the show,

when you gave the answer, Western Sahara..?

It was on the map I looked at yesterday.

Richard says... "It's on the map, oh, it's on the map!"

Every time countries come up, what does Richard always say?

And by countries I mean anything under a sovereign state

that is recognised by the UN - I know it by heart!

Yeah, I still have to read it.

-I must've done that maybe 200 times.

-Yeah, you must've done.

Anyway, you've made it.

A little bit of thanks from Emma, there.

Who did all the brilliant anagram work in the last round?

-I don't...

-Both of us, really.

I mean, you did get Lancaster, which I hadn't seen.

Very good. It was a good team effort, there.

And you made a very clean sweep of that last round as well.

2-0, very impressive. Now, the rules are very simple,

to win that money all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers today.

Find one and you'll leave with that £1,000 jackpot.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category

and you have a choice of five options and they are...

I suppose comedy films?

-What do you think?

-That would be my favourite.

Authors is no good for me, Sportsmen is no good for you.

-Playwrights would completely depend who it was.

-Yeah.

-Soul Divas is neither here nor there.

-No, no, no.

-No, I think it would HAVE to be comedy films.

-Comedy films.

Comedy films it is. OK, let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Richard?

Yeah, up to 2012,

Carry On Columbus was the last Carry On film made, in 1992.

Can you name any of the actors credited with an appearance

in that film, please?

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £1,000

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-Julian Clary.

-I was thinking that.

-Probably Steve Coogan?

-Was he?

What about the young guy who was in all the old Carry On movies?

He was a lot older when they did that, that last one.

-Jim Dale, was it?

-Is it?

-Could be.

-Jim Dale.

-Something like that.

Possible.

-Erm, I haven't seen it!

-I haven't seen it!

Just trying to think of...

Why does the name Sherrie Hewson keep popping in my head?

I don't know why that is. Was she in it?

You don't think the one that was in Corrie,

that was in Carry On Cleo, do you think she came back for...?

That's who I'm thinking of, the other Corrie woman.

-Mm.

-What was her name?

-I don't know, you said it!

-Oh!

-Erm...

Erm... Oh!

Erm...

-Were there any other Carry On actors?

-Ten seconds left.

-None of the old favourites were in it, were they?

-I don't know.

-Bernard Bresslaw or any of those sort of people?

-He was dead by then.

-Was he?

-Yeah.

-Have we said three people?

-OK, your time is up.

We were looking for actors in Carry On Columbus

and I now need your three answers.

-OK.

-We're going to go for Julian Clary...

-Julian Clary.

-Steve Coogan?

-If you say so.

-Steve Coogan.

-And we'll pot shot Jim Dale.

-Yeah.

-Jim Dale.

-Jim Dale.

-Yeah.

Now, OK, of those three, which are we going to put last?

Your most likely shot at a point.

Julian Clary's 100% in it, we know that,

-so, we might as well put him last.

-Yes.

OK, Julian Clary goes last. Who should we put first?

-Your least favourite.

-Steve Coogan first because I don't...

Was he even around then? So, I think... Well...

-He was alive then!

-He was alive.

-He was alive but was he...?

Yeah, put Steve Coogan first.

-Put him first anyway.

-OK, we'll put him first.

And we'll put Jim Dale in the middle.

Let's pop those on the board in that order. We have got...

OK, so we were looking for actors in Carry On Columbus.

Your first answer, a bit of a shot in the dark, Steve Coogan.

Your least confident answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that £1,000 jackpot.

OK, so, let's see, Steve Coogan, is that right

and if it is how many people said Steve Coogan?

An incorrect answer, it turns out. So, not a pointless answer.

Only two more shots at that jackpot of £1,000.

-Paul, what would you do with £1,000?

-Erm, put it towards a boat.

-A boat?

-A boat.

-A little boat.

-A little boat.

-A little boat.

-Yes.

OK, Emma, anything else you'd like to do with it?

-Our bath is leaking so maybe a new bath rather than a boat!

-New bath.

SHE LAUGHS

You take the old bath out, you can have that as a boat -

-put a plug in it, obviously.

-Obviously!

And there you are - two birds one stone.

OK, now then, we're looking for actors in Carry On Columbus.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, which is Jim Dale.

Has to be correct, has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot of £1,000.

Let's see, is Jim Dale right?

It is right! It is right.

So, if this goes all the way down to 0 you leave here with £1,000

and you are one step nearer to having a new...

APPLAUSE

..bath, I was about to say!

16.

16 people said Jim Dale

so everything is now riding on Julian Clary.

ALEXANDER SIGHS

It's your last chance at today's jackpot. £1,000.

Julian Clary has to be right.

You both said it, Julian Clary, almost immediately.

-I wonder if that means all our 100 people were the same?

-Probably.

-Or...

-Absolutely.

..maybe you just happened to know it through some clever thing?

Clairvoyance.

OK, we are looking for actors in Carry On Columbus.

Your third and final answer is Julian Clary,

let's see, your most confident answer, let's see if it's right.

It is absolutely right.

Down it goes.

Steve Coogan an incorrect answer, Jim Dale down to 16.

Let's see...

Oh! 7!

APPLAUSE

-Well, you got it absolutely in the right order.

-Yeah.

First one incorrect, Jim Dale, and then down to 7 for Julian Clary.

So, unfortunately, I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that

all-important pointless answer

so you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000,

which rolls over on to the next show,

but you have been fantastic contestants

and you take home our fabulous Pointless trophy.

-So, well done.

-Brilliant.

-APPLAUSE

ALEXANDER SIGHS Yeah, well played.

Tough luck, Jim Dale was Columbus himself

and Julian Clary was Don Juan Diego in that film.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

There's a few I think people will have got here.

Alexei Sayle, who played Achmed, the secret agent.

John Pertwee, who was in his fourth Carry On film,

Keith Allen played Pep the Poisoner,

Leslie Phillips playing King Ferdinand of Spain,

also his fourth Carry On film,

Lynda Baron was Meg, Martin Clunes has a small cameo in the film,

Nigel Planer, who was the Grand Wazir, he was in it,

Richard Wilson, who played Don Juan Felipe, and Tony Slattery.

All of those pointless answers -

very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thanks very much indeed. Did you know any of those?

-No.

-It's kind of all the Comic Strip.

-Yeah, I know.

I've just never seen the film so...

At least the woman whose name we couldn't think of

-wasn't on the list!

-Yeah, the woman I think you're thinking of

-was Amanda Barrie...

-Right.

..who was in Carry On Cleo.

-She wasn't in Carry On Columbus - which is a relief.

-It is a relief.

Huge relief! Well, unfortunately we have to say goodbye to you

but it's been brilliant having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Nobody has won our jackpot today so it rolls over,

which means on the next show we will be playing for £2,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me - goodbye.

APPLAUSE