Episode 61 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much! Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where obvious answers mean nothing,

and obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet today's players.

First up, we welcome Nick and Andrew. Nick, how do you two know each other?

We're friends and work colleagues.

I'm deputy head at the lovely Wigmore High School in north Herefordshire,

and we work together, but we originally met...

-Er, I was his pupil.

-Wow, what did you teach?

At the time, I was attempting to teach him German.

-You taught him adequately enough for him to come back as a member of staff?

-Indeed.

-What do you teach, Andrew? Not German.

-French.

-Do you really?

-Was he a good teacher?

-He was, he was a great teacher, actually.

-Oh, that's nice! Thank you.

-You were.

-That's nice.

-I don't speak any German, but...

To this day.

Very best of luck, it's great to have you here.

Nick and Andrew.

Next, we welcome Rob and Jonathan. How do you two know each other, Rob?

We first met around five years ago.

Jonathan was an instructor at the training college,

teaching constables how to become detective constables.

-You're policemen.

-Yes.

-Was he an able pupil?

-No.

-But he made the grade?

-He made the grade, just.

It's taken me five years to bring him up to a reasonable standard.

LAUGHTER

-Whereabouts are you from?

-We're from Devon.

What do you like to get up to in your spare time?

My favourite hobby is cycling.

I'm a very keen cyclist. Last year, we went to the Pyrenees

and did 600 miles in ten days,

cycling from the Pyrenees, from France across to Barcelona.

-Up and down big mountains!

-Good stuff.

Rob, what do you like to get up to?

I play football, I watch football,

Liverpool football club would be my favourite subject.

Oh, really? That's your obsession, is it?

I'm obsessed with them. I think about Liverpool,

talk about Liverpool, read about Liverpool

and watch Liverpool at some point every single day of my life.

Very good indeed. A warm welcome to the show, Rob and Jonathan.

Next, we welcome back EJ and Laura. You were on the show last time.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final, this is your second and final chance.

EJ, remind us how you know each other?

We went to university together in Newcastle.

Laura, what happened last time?

Don't know really, we're blaming it on podium one, bad luck for us!

-It was a word round, first round, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

EJ, today, completely new.

What are you hoping is going to come up?

I'd quite like science to come up.

-Possibly music?

-What kinds of music do you like?

-Rap, R&B, pop music.

-OK.

-Recent things.

-Recent things. Laura, how about you?

I've been swotting up on my geography so I'm hoping for that.

-Good.

-Definitely not sport.

Very good. EJ and Laura, last time you were first-round departers.

I think this time round, as the only returning pair,

-you'd have to be fancied for at least the head-to-head.

-Hope so, yeah.

-Very best of luck.

Let's hope we see you there and maybe beyond. Finally,

we've got Anne and Alex. How do you two know each other?

We're daughter and mother.

-I'm the mother, she's the daughter.

-Didn't need to explain that!

Yeah... Alex, where are you from?

We're from Northwich in Cheshire.

-What do you do, Alex?

-I run a website for a motorbike company.

What is it, motorbike equipment?

Motorbikes and also motorbike equipment, yes.

Very good. Anne, how about you?

I was a teacher for many years, and I retired about three weeks ago.

-Wow, three weeks ago?

-Yes, and thoroughly enjoying it.

Not missing it one little bit.

What are you hoping is going to come up today, Anne?

Fiction, I like reading a lot.

Er, I'm quite keen on geography.

Not too bad on art.

-Alex, anything you want to add to that?

-Not geography.

-Not geography.

-I'm terrible at geography.

Er, music for definite. I say that, I might get an awful music question!

Anne and Alex, lovely to have you on the show.

A very warm welcome to you. We'll find out more about all of you

throughout the show. There's only one person left for me to introduce,

the man putting obscurity on the map.

Sadly, no-one knows where. It's my Pointless friend, Richard.

Hiya. Hiya.

APPLAUSE

-Good afternoon to you.

-Top of the afternoon to you.

So, sort of a fresh line-up for us here,

one returning pair - EJ and Laura but they got knocked out fairly quickly last time,

so we haven't seen much of them. Hopefully we'll see more of them today.

Great to have a battle of teachers versus coppers, isn't it?

Be nice to find who's cleverer.

-Yes.

-Round One, I have to say, we saw EJ and Laura go out early

last time. I fear for EJ and Laura in Round One.

I think their age may work against them.

In every other respect in life, your age works for you.

In this regard...you might surprise me!

I think it might be a tough round for them.

OK, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

In order to get to the final round and be in with a chance of winning

our jackpot, our contestants need to find the obscure answers

our 100 people couldn't think of. The fewer of the 100 who knew

the answer, the fewer points you will score.

What everyone's trying to do is find a pointless answer,

an answer that none of our 100 people gave. Each time that happens,

we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Simon and Martin won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off at...

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer.

You cannot confer with your partner. Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated. Try and make sure that's not you.

Our category for Round One is...

Can you all decide who's going to go first and who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Characters from Neighbours, Richard.

Xander is going to show you a picture on this board

of the cast of Neighbours from 1988. We need you to identify

any of the characters you're about to see.

First names will be acceptable, you'll be glad to hear.

Very best of luck. See if you can get all of them,

any big Neighbours fans at home!

Thanks very much. Nick and Andrew, you all drew lots before the show

and today, you are going to go first.

Here is our image of characters from Neighbours.

There they all are.

Each of you needs to give me the name of one of those characters.

You're going to try and find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

-Andrew, lovely picture, isn't it?

-Gorgeous. Many happy memories.

I am fairly sure of a couple of them.

I think I'm going to go for...

-Helen Daniels.

-Helen, says Andrew, Helen.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Helen.

It's right.

15.

APPLAUSE

-15 for Helen.

-Yeah, the matriarch, Helen Daniels, there she is,

played by Anne Haddy.

Andrew, you fit right into the demographic of that time of Neighbours, don't you?

-I figured so.

-Good stuff. Now then, Jonathan.

I can feel like crying, I really could!

Do I take a guess or do I go safe and hope Robert can help me out?

-The only one I can say is Charlene.

-Charlene.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Charlene.

It's right.

39.

-A lot better than it could have been.

-Happy with that.

39 for Charlene.

You did exactly what you had to do there, a good answer.

Charlene, played by Kylie Minogue,

who's gone on to sell 70 million records worldwide.

-Wow.

-That's not bad going, is it?

-Really not bad going.

You wouldn't have guessed it back then, when you watched it.

-She was a mechanic, wasn't she?

-Yeah, she was.

She went from mechanic to pop star pretty quick!

Yeah, yeah! She did well.

Now then, Laura, was Richard right?

-Yeah, Richard was right.

-Oh, no.

I'm tempted to think of an Australian name and just say it.

Like, and just have a bit of a guess.

-I'm not sure.

-This is going to be fun!

An Australian name.

Yeah, I'm going to do that.

SHE LAUGHS

-I'm going to go with Drew.

-Drew.

Is it right though?

Drew. Let's find out. Drew...

Bad luck.

But I have to say, 10 out of 10 for inspired Australian name making-up.

That's superb.

100 out of 100 for your answer,

I'm afraid, I'm sorry, an incorrect answer, Drew.

Right, Alex, we come to you. The most obscure person in that photograph you can name.

I can name all of them and probably the actors who play them!

This couldn't be a better round for me.

Katie Landers.

Katie, you're going to say.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 said Katie.

Absolutely right.

Down it goes.

Oh, brilliant, Alex!

All but pointless.

1 point for Katie.

I have to say, Alex, I'm with you, I could name all of them as well!

-There was a Drew as well.

-There was, but not in this era unfortunately.

He came into it around the late '90s.

There's Katie Landers, right at the front, the young girl there.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Alex and Anne, lovely score of 1.

Then we travel up to 15, where we find Andrew and Nick.

Then up to 39,

where we find Jonathan and Rob.

Then, I'm afraid to say, a long way up to 100,

where, through no fault of their own, we find Laura and EJ.

EJ, I don't know if you can do anything in the next pass,

but whatever you do, it will require a low-scoring answer from you

to stay in the game. Very best of luck.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We are looking for the Neighbours characters in this picture.

Anne, Alex has set you up so well there.

Lovely low score. Didn't she do brilliantly?

Yes, she did, actually.

She's always loved Neighbours.

Did you ever watch Neighbours, Anne?

I'm afraid, as a mum, I was forced to,

when cooking tea while the kids watched it.

This is great news. You are completely comfortable

-with these people.

-I know some of them, yes.

-I'll say Des Clarke.

-Des, says Anne. Des.

There is your red line. If you can get below that red line,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Des.

Very well done, you're through.

8!

Brilliant, Anne. 8 plus 1,

takes your total up to 9.

Well played, Anne. Des is one of the original cast members.

He married the stripper from his stag party...

..who later died in a car crash.

-There you go.

-Cautionary tale.

-Thank you, Richard.

Now then, EJ, you're on 100, you're the high scorers.

Yep, Laura's set me up really well!

Are you going to have to make up another name?

Or do you know anyone on that picture?

No. I do know some names from Neighbours,

so I'm just going to guess as well.

And I'm going to go for Karl.

Karl, says EJ, Karl. There's no red line for you,

you just have to hope this goes down as far as it possibly can.

Let's see if Karl's right and how many people said Karl.

Bad luck, EJ, I'm afraid

it's another incorrect answer,

which, I'm sorry to say, takes your total up to 200.

Sorry, EJ, there was a later addition to the Neighbours cast,

Dr Karl Kennedy, of course.

Rob, I've got great news, you are through to the next round,

whatever happens. Even if you score 100, you won't overtake

EJ and Laura's high score.

What are you thinking? You must know some of them.

I watched it religiously as a teenage boy.

I can only remember the girls' names, unfortunately!

I know a few, but I'll say Jane.

Jane, says Rob. Rob says Jane. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said Jane.

Absolutely right.

Very well done, Rob.

6 for Jane takes your total to 45.

Terrific answer, Rob, well done.

"Plain Jane Superbrain" they used to call her. There she is.

Now, Nick, also you are through.

I honestly haven't a clue who is on the photograph,

I'm ashamed to say I was never a particularly big fan.

The only name I can think of from Neighbours,

around about that time, would be Harold.

Harold, says Nick. No red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how many people said Harold.

Absolutely right.

42.

42 takes your total up to 57.

Harold Bishop, good answer. There he is, highlighted.

I'll take you through everybody.

-The pointless answer is Mrs Mangel, Nell Mangel.

-No!

There she is, yep.

Someone in the audience just said "yes!"

Served her right, Mrs Mangel.

Let's take a look at some other very low answers.

Beverly Marshall would have been a very good answer, 1 point.

Katie Landers we've already had, a terrific answer, 1.

And her brother, Todd Landers, 2 points he would have scored.

Mike Young, a young Guy Pearce there.

Now a huge film star, star of Memento, all sorts of other things.

He played Mike, would have scored 5 points.

You could also have had Gail Robinson up there,

who was married to Paul Robinson, there they are as the couple.

Gail would have scored you 6, Paul would have scored you 40,

a very big scorer.

Henry Mitchell would have scored you 7, next to Plain Jane there.

Jim Robinson, 25 he would have scored you.

Scott Robinson, Jason Donovan there, would have scored 32.

Madge Bishop, 37, and we've heard everybody else.

Well done if you got any of those low ones.

It's quite weird, how young they look!

-Paul Robinson, in his early 40s, he looks about 20 there.

-Yeah.

What did Paul actually do?

He shuffled paper and had important meetings.

-That's what business is.

-Is that what they do?

-Yeah!

Basically paper.

Hold on...

That's good, isn't it?

Could you take that? Lovely, thank you.

OK, I'll go and do that.

OK, and I'm going to knock off!

-I'll see you tomorrow.

-See you tomorrow.

Oh, I've never shut that before!

Oh, phew!

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. At the end of our first round,

the losing pair with the highest score, I'm sorry to say,

double round-one exit!

Our newest members of the 200 club.

EJ and Laura, I'm so sorry,

you were ill-served by that question.

-What a disaster.

-I know,

but thanks very much for playing.

EJ and Laura!

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for Round Two.

Now, obviously there's only going to be room for two pairs

in our head-to-head round so one of the pairs will be leaving us.

I wonder who that pair are going to be?

Our category for Round Two is...

Can you all decide who's going to go first and who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and our question concerns...

Writers and their initials. Richard.

On each pass, we're going to show you the names of six books.

They're all written by people who are known by initials and a surname.

Can you tell us the names of the authors of these books, please.

Give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points.

An incorrect answer will score you 100 points.

It's going to be 12 authors to have a go at at home. Good luck.

We are looking for the initialled authors of these literary works.

We have got, on our first board...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, six literary works.

We need to know their authors. Nick.

I do not know all of them but I do know a few of those.

It's just a question of which one to choose.

I think I will go with A Room With A View,

which I'm pretty sure is EM Forster.

EM Forster, says Nick. EM Forster, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people knew that answer.

Absolutely right.

Very well done indeed, Nick, 10.

Nothing wrong with that. 10 for EM Forster.

Well played, Nick, good answer.

There's always such pressure on teachers when you've got a question like that,

a subject you're supposed to know about. You passed with flying colours.

It's Edward Morgan Forster.

Now then, Rob.

I'm struggling, I'm afraid.

I know one of them for sure, but I'm certain it'll be a high scorer.

But I'm going to have to go with Winnie The Pooh,

and I think it's AA Milne.

AA Milne, says Rob, AA Milne.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said that.

Absolutely right.

46.

-It's a big one. Richard.

-Well done.

Yes, Alan Alexander Milne, author of the Winnie The Pooh stories.

-Anne.

-I'm going to say the bottom one.

Death Comes To Pemberley, and it's PD James.

PD James, says Anne, for Death Comes To Pemberley.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said PD James.

Absolutely right.

Wow, 1!

Something about that far podium.

Another score of 1 in another round, very well done, Anne.

Yes, one of her recent ones, set just after the end

of Pride And Prejudice. Let's look through

the rest of these answers. You'll be good at these. Catcher In The Rye?

Salinger, JD Salinger.

JD Salinger, 18 points.

Time Machine?

-HG Wells.

-HG Wells, absolutely right.

43 points, that's a big scorer.

-And Possession?

-AS Byatt.

-Absolutely right, that would have scored 2.

The best answer on the board is Death Comes To Pemberley,

so well played, Anne.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round. Let's see the scores. Lovely low score from Anne,

so Anne and Alex looking particularly strong on 1,

then up to 10 where we find Nick and Andrew, not bad.

Then up to 46, so yes, Rob and Jonathan, quite far ahead there.

Jonathan, we need a really good low score from you in the next pass.

We have to hope that's enough to keep you in the game. Good luck.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're going to put six more literary works on the board.

Here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Remember, we are looking for the initialled authors

of these literary works. Alex, you're going to try and find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

You're on 1, once again in a very strong position,

halfway through the round. The high scorers are Jonathan and Rob, on 46,

so a score of 44 or less from you will see you into the next round.

This is where I trample on my mum's good work, I think!

I know one for definite but I'm going to go and say

The Inimitable Jeeves, PG Wodehouse?

PG Wodehouse, says Alex. Let's see if that's right.

Here is your red line - get below that, you are through to the head-to-head.

PG Wodehouse, how many people said that?

Absolutely right, through.

22.

22 takes your total up to 23

and sees you into the head-to-head.

Very well done, Alex.

-Yeah, the wonderful PG Wodehouse.

-Now then, Jonathan.

You're the high scorers on 46.

We need a very low-scoring answer from you.

You'll get an answer but not a very good one.

-Er, Sons And Lovers is, I think, DH Lawrence.

-DH Lawrence,

says Jonathan for Sons And Lovers, let's see if it's right,

no red line for you as you're the high scorers but let's see

how many people said DH Lawrence.

Absolutely right.

34.

34 takes your total up to 80.

A good answer, you've still got a chance of staying in this.

David Herbert Lawrence.

Now then, Andrew. You're the last person to have this board.

The high scorers are Jonathan and Rob on 80.

You're on 10. If you can score 69 or less,

-you are through to the head-to-head.

-I've got two options, I think.

Go for the only one I know and get a definite score,

which is nice and high and sends us home early.

Or I randomly select two letters of the alphabet,

and we go home early.

LAUGHTER

So...it's win-win, really.

Can I ask a question?

-Yes.

-Do I need the surname?

-You do as well, I'm afraid, yes.

Which, in some ways, makes it even harder!

Yeah. In that case, I'm delighted

to tell you that the author

of Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix

is that very underrated author, JK Rowling.

JK Rowling, says Andrew. Here comes your red line.

It's...higher than me.

But then...JK Rowling.

Let's see JK Rowling. How many people said JK Rowling?

You've done it!

You have done it. 55.

55 takes your total up to 65

and sees you comfortably through to the head-to-head. Very well done!

Exactly the right tactics there,

you did what you had to do.

But it's a surprisingly low score.

Let's take a look at the rest of them. The Darling Buds Of May?

-Bates, HE Bates.

-Absolutely right, that would have scored 8.

-Disgrace?

-JM Coetzee.

-Absolutely right, he would have scored 2.

And High-Rise, best answer on the board?

-I don't know.

-Well done at home if you said JG Ballard, 1 point.

Anyone who got all 12 of those has done a cracking job.

Thank you very much indeed.

The end of Round Two, the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid, Jonathan and Rob.

It looked for a moment like you were going to make it through.

-Had a chance.

-Oh...

But yeah, JK Rowling, only 55!

Sadly, she also did the trick tonight for Andrew,

so I'm afraid we say goodbye to you now, Jonathan and Rob,

but we will see you again next time. We look forward to that very much. Jonathan and Rob, great contestants.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get even more exciting,

as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Anne and Alex, Nick and Andrew,

you are only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which stands at...

You're now going to go head to head.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot

but the big difference is, from now on, you're allowed to confer.

You can pool all your knowledge.

Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question.

It concerns...

Operas. Richard?

We're going to show you the names of five operas now,

but with alternate letters missing.

Can you fill in those blanks and give us the most obscure? Good luck.

Let's reveal our five operas with missing letters.

Here they are...

I'll read those out without the blanks.

There we are. Anne and Alex,

you have played best throughout the show so you get to go first.

-I know all of them.

-Which one is the most obscure? I don't know any!

Er, I think we'll go for Porgy And Bess.

Porgy And Bess, say Anne and Alex. Porgy And Bess.

Nick and Andrew, you can talk us through the rest of the board,

do your thinking out loud, if you like.

I wouldn't claim to be an expert on opera

but I do think I probably know them all.

I think they're right with Porgy And Bess.

I think the top one's Aida.

The next after Porgy And Bess is Hansel And Gretel,

I think it might be Rigoletto and the last one might be Fidelio.

I think we might say Fidelio. What do you think?

-Yep, very happy, sounds good.

-Fidelio.

You're going with Fidelio. We have Porgy And Bess, and Fidelio.

Anne and Alex said Porgy And Bess, let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

7!

Good going.

7 for Porgy And Bess.

Nick and Andrew have gone for Fidelio, let's see if that's right,

let's see if it'll beat 7 if it is.

Absolutely right.

Ooh, 27.

27. Which means, Anne and Alex,

after only one question, you are up 1-0.

-Richard.

-Yes, Porgy And Bess is the best possible answer

in this round, so it's three rounds in a row you've done that.

Very, very impressive. Fidelio, good answer, Beethoven's only opera.

Let's take a look through the rest of the board.

You went through it perfectly, Nick.

Aida would have scored you 49.

Hansel And Gretel would have scored you 12.

And Rigoletto would have scored you 59 points, the biggest one there.

Do you know who composed Hansel And Gretel?

-Engelbert Humperdinck.

-Absolutely right.

-But the original.

-The original, the man he got his name from.

Yeah, anyway, brilliant, good.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Here comes your second question. Nick and Andrew,

you need to win this question to stay in the game.

Very best of luck. Our second question concerns...

Planets, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of planets in our solar system.

Can you identify these and pick the most obscure?

-That's fun, isn't it?

-This is fun.

This is good. Let's reveal our planets, here they come.

We have got...

LAUGHTER

OK, there we are. Nick and Andrew, you go first this time.

I think B is probably Neptune, which might be the most obscure.

Do you not think it might be Venus?

Which is Venus?

I think we're going to go for B, which we think is Neptune.

B, Neptune, say Nick and Andrew. B, Neptune.

Now, Anne and Alex...

I don't think planets are our strong point!

-I know E!

-We know E.

Er...

I'll let you choose, I'm rubbish.

We say, we take a punt. C, Venus.

C, Venus, say Anne and Alex.

C, Venus.

So we have Neptune and Venus.

Nick and Andrew have said that B is Neptune.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

Oooh!

Incorrect. Anne and Alex therefore took a punt

and said that C was Venus.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

Ooh!

So after two questions, it is 1-0 still to Anne and Alex.

-Richard.

-Yes, ironically, you'd now be in the final if you'd be able to identify your home planet.

LAUGHTER

Nick, it's not Neptune,

that is a picture of Uranus.

LAUGHTER

And...Uranus would have scored 10.

LAUGHTER

Let's take a look at the rest.

A is Jupiter.

That would have scored 32.

So all of these would have won the point for anybody.

C is Mars.

Not Venus, it's Mars.

43 points, that would have scored.

D is Mercury.

Would have scored you 7 points.

So E is, I'm not giving away any clues when I say it's Earth.

-Score?

-I would hope in the high 90s.

89.

LAUGHTER

-89.

-Wow.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Here comes your third question.

And it concerns...

-Richard.

-Yes, just five clues to facts about Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The most obscure will win you the points.

Let's reveal our five clues to facts about Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are.

Five facts about Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Anne and Alex, it's your turn to go first again.

Er...the politician who beat her to the Democratic nomination

is Barack Obama.

Barack Obama, you are saying.

Nick and Andrew, talk us through that board and do your thinking out loud, if you like.

We could, yes, you're right.

Well, the law school's Harvard.

Was Condoleezza Rice even a secretary of state, or was it just before?

I think Condoleezza Rice could be a really good answer.

-What do you think? Go on.

-Yeah, fine, let's have a stab

-at Condoleezza Rice.

-OK, you're going to say Condoleezza Rice.

So, we have the politician who beat her to the Democratic nomination

in 2008, Barack Obama, say Anne and Alex.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

It's right.

31.

31, quite a low score, that.

Nick and Andrew are saying Condoleezza Rice

is the politician she succeeded as secretary of state.

Let's see if that's right, and how many people said Condoleezza Rice.

Absolutely right.

Yep, you've got it, well done.

9.

You're back in the game. Which means, after three questions,

it's 1-1. Richard.

Very well played, I think Andrew pulled that one out of the bag.

I think you were also tempted to go for the law school she attended,

which is an even better score.

-You'd have gone for?

-Harvard.

-Harvard.

Yale, so lucky you went for Condoleezza.

It would have scored 5 points if you'd got it.

The state she became senator of in 2001 was New York state.

It would have scored you 14 points.

The best answer on the board was the title of her 2003 memoir,

which was Living History, would have scored you 1 point.

-Well done if you got that at home.

-Thanks, Richard.

Here comes your fourth question.

Whoever wins this question goes through to the final

and plays for our jackpot. OK, it concerns...

England rugby union captains. Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five men now

who've been England rugby union captain at some point since 1970.

We're giving you the first two letters of their first name and the first two of their surname.

Whoever gets this is going through to the final, very best of luck.

Let's reveal our England rugby captains. Here they are.

I'll read those again, without the blanks.

Nick and Andrew, you go first this time.

OK, I only know two. Martin Johnson.

I don't know any others.

-Shall we go for the bottom one?

-Yeah...

OK, we're going to go for the bottom one, which we think is Will Carling.

You're going to say Will Carling. OK, Will Carling.

Anne and Alex, the board is yours.

You can talk out loud if you like.

Well, we know... I say "we", I only know two.

-Matt Dawson.

-Oh, do you? I didn't know him.

I know Martin Johnson.

-I'd say Matt Dawson's more...

-Who do you know?

I don't know any of the others.

-Shall we go for Matt Dawson?

-I think so.

-Matt Dawson.

You're going to say Matt Dawson. We have Will Carling playing Matt Dawson.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final.

Nick and Andrew said Will Carling, let's see if that's right, and how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

54.

APPLAUSE

54. Anne and Alex have said Matt Dawson.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Matt Dawson.

Absolutely right.

Very well done, you've done it!

14!

Very well done. After four questions,

we finally have an outcome.

You are through to the final, 2-1. Richard.

Well played, Anne and Alex, that's another great answer.

The other one, Martin Johnson, also would have seen you through to the final

cos he would have scored you 22 points.

The other two are the best answers on the board, actually.

The top one there is Mike Catt, that would have scored you 9.

The fourth one is the captain of the 2011 Rugby World Cup squad,

the England squad, Lewis Moody. That would have scored you 3 points.

Very low score. Well done if you got all of those.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, Nick and Andrew.

You had Martin Johnson, didn't you?

-I could hear you saying it.

-Yes.

But you thought Will Carling might be a lower score cos he was longer ago.

We will see you again next time, I'm sorry we have to say goodbye now,

but we'll look forward to that very much indeed. Great contestants.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Anne and Alex, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Anne and Alex. You fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

And at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

Did you ever think you'd make it through to the final

-on a question about rugby?

-Not at all.

-Not in a million years.

I know nothing about rugby!

-And where you got Matt Dawson from, I don't know.

-MasterChef.

There we are, that's how Pointless works.

The rules are very simple. To win the money,

all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any pointless answers on the show today.

If you can find one now,

you will leave here with that money.

Firstly, you have to choose a category.

You have a choice of five options. They are...

-Right, OK. Well, horse-racing we're out.

-No.

-European theatre.

-We're out.

Pop divas. Maybe?

-Actresses, you're pretty good on that.

-Not too bad.

-Classic literature, you're good at.

-I don't know.

-They could ask anything.

-Shall we do the one we're both all right at,

-actresses?

-Actresses. We'll try actresses, please.

OK, actresses it is. Here it comes. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Helena Bonham Carter films as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any feature film made for cinema release,

for which Helena Bonham Carter has received an acting credit,

up to the beginning of May 2012, please.

No TV films, short films, or documentaries

but voice performances do count.

Very, very best of luck.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win the £1,000 jackpot is for just one

of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes. She's more than ready!

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

-Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit.

-Oh, she did the voice.

-Er, I think...

-Sleepy Hollow?

No, I think she was in Lady Jane.

-Lady Jane Grey.

-She was in Alice In Wonderland.

Yes, but that's a popular one, isn't it?

It's got to be obscure, hasn't it?

-Er...

-Er...

Well, she was in Charlie And The Chocolate Factory as the mum.

-OK, OK.

-Do you want to do those three?

-Yes, OK.

We do.

Are you happy? You don't want any further time?

-No, we don't need it.

-There we are.

We'll stop the clock, look at that.

-We have Wallace And Gromit...

-The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit.

Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit.

-Lady Jane.

-Lady Jane.

-And Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

And Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

There are your three answers.

We were looking for Helena Bonham Carter films.

Of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I'd have said Lady Jane, possibly.

-Or Wallace And Gromit.

-You think?

-Wallace And Gromit, I think.

-OK, you say that.

-Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit, we'll put that last.

-Which do you think is your least likely?

-Lady Jane?

Yeah.

-We don't mind.

-We don't mind, anything.

We'll put Lady Jane first, shall we?

Let's put those up on the board in that order. Here they are.

We have got...

We are looking for Helena Bonham Carter films,

Lady Jane was your least confident answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that £1,000 jackpot.

Anne, what would you do with £1,000?

Well, Alex is just about to move house,

so I think it would give her a bit of help with furniture

and a few little things, and treat the family.

-Have a little party!

-Very nice.

-Alex?

-I need a shed.

-You need a shed?

-It's not glamorous but that's life.

Very good. Let's hope one of these answers gets you a shed.

OK, let's see. Lady Jane. Is it right? If it is,

how many people said it?

If it's pointless, it will win you that jackpot. Lady Jane.

Ooh, it's right.

So this was your first answer, the one you thought was least likely

to be pointless.

Down it goes. If this goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £1,000.

It's still going down. Down it goes...

There you are! Very, very well done!

Brilliant!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very, very well done.

Congratulations!

Oh, the shed is yours!

Lady Jane was a pointless answer, which means you go home

with that jackpot of £1,000.

Brilliant. Absolutely fantastic. Great answer there.

There is a shed salesman in Northwich rubbing his hands right now!

That's a terrific answer, you've been so brilliant all the way through,

it's another great answer. Every subject we've thrown at you,

you've come up with brilliant things. Really well deserved jackpot.

It's her second-ever film, Lady Jane, so it's a terrific answer.

To go through your other two answers, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

would have scored you 7 points. And Wallace And Gromit,

Curse Of The Were-Rabbit would have scored you 1 point.

-You were right!

-Lady Jane doing the business for you.

Let's look at some of the other pointless answers.

Howards End, the EM Forster adaptation, back to him.

She was Emma Thompson's younger sister in Howards End.

Would have been a terrific answer. Keep The Aspidistra Flying,

from the George Orwell novel, starred with Richard E Grant.

Lady Jane, just won you a shed.

The Woody Allen film, Mighty Aphrodite,

would have been a pointless answer.

Sixty Six, about a boy's bar mitzvah, which clashes with the World Cup final.

That was pointless. Toast, the Nigel Slater autobiography

turned into a film, that was pointless.

Twelfth Night, where she plays Olivia.

Where Angels Fear To Tread, another EM Forster adaptation,

these have come up a lot today. And Women Talking Dirty, all pointless.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Congratulations to you two, it's been a pleasure having you on the show.

Thank you, we've really enjoyed it.

Thanks once again to our winning players, Anne and Alex,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-It's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

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