Episode 67 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

Now, first, we welcome back David and Hannah.

You were on the show last time. Everyone gets two chances to reach the final.

This is your second and final chance.

David, remind us how you know each other.

We're married, we've been married for three and a half years, and together for 12 years.

-Together... You didn't say that last time. You've been together for 12 years!

-We have.

-I was 15 when we got together.

-Wow!

Wow!

Oh, that's amazing! Gosh, well done you, brilliant.

Now then, Hannah, tell us what happened last time.

-We got to the head-to-head, which was brilliant.

-It was brilliant.

Where David decided to say Nicole Kidman as an acting Elizabeth.

Maybe she was acting very well, wasn't she?

I thought I was going to have a shot.

-It's the sort of trickery that Richard occasionally pulls out of the bag, isn't it?

-Not really.

LAUGHTER

Hannah, do you have any sort of special interests

that might sort of feed into a bit of specialist Pointless knowledge?

-Um... Disney.

-OK.

We really like Disney World, we've been a few times

-and we got engaged at Disneyland Paris.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

You're a romantic, David.

Welcome to the show, David and Hannah. Great to have you here.

And next, we welcome back Ian and Martin, also on the show last time.

Ian and Martin, we discovered, are band mates in the Lazy Giants band

and they're tearing apart the Darlington area at the moment.

Martin, what happened last time?

Uh... Germans. Famous Germans.

LAUGHTER

-Yeah, we don't know our Germans as well as we thought we did.

-We don't.

-Ian had a bit of a...name issue.

-Yeah, it was...

Yeah, the name issue - Andrea Merkel.

That was last time. We will draw a line under that. Lovely to have you back on the show,

I have a feeling we're going to see much more of you this time round. I hope so, anyway.

Best of luck. And next, we welcome Ben and Tom. How do you two know each other?

I'm his father.

-And where are you from, Ben?

-I'm from Manchester.

From Manchester. And Tom?

Well, I was in Manchester until I retired.

I'm now living in Alveston, in the Lake District.

Alveston, the Lake District, lovely!

-What are you doing with your retirement?

-Well, I was a vicar,

so...in a way, you never kind of retire,

you kind of carry on. But much less.

Are you attached to a parish up in Alveston?

Yes. Alveston Parish Church.

-Yeah.

-I help out and do a bit of spiritual direction.

Ben, what sort of things do you like to get up to in your spare time?

I'm obsessed by running, I run non-stop.

Charity runs, those sorts of things?

-No, just... I go out and run...

-Just go out and run?

For...as far as I can till I get tired and turn round.

How far is that, generally?

Um... I go into sort of fells and run about 20 miles every week.

But half of that is going to be fun, the bits downhill.

-They'll be good, yeah, yeah. The bits uphill.

-Mm, good stuff.

Well, Ben and Tom, a warm welcome to the show. It's great to have you here.

Finally, we've got Vivianne and Barbara. How do you too know each other?

Go on.

THEY LAUGH

Well, we're social members of a bowls club.

-Are you?

-But we don't play bowls.

-Oh, you're just the social members.

We just look at them playing.

SHE LAUGHS

You just come and watch...

It's very much a spectator sport, isn't it, bowls?

SHE LAUGHS

And we organise trips and days out and things like that.

I see, it's all about the parties, isn't it, really, bowls?

It's famous for it.

THEY LAUGH

So, what do you like to get up to when you're not watching bowls?

SHE LAUGHS

I've got five grandchildren, so they keep me very busy.

I bet they do, yes.

So do you think you'd be quite good if children's literature comes up,

children's television, these sorts of things?

-I hope so.

-I would hope so.

Vivianne, how about you? Anything you hope doesn't come up?

Science, anything with arithmetic - forget it.

SHE LAUGHS

OK. Barbara, anything you want to add to that?

-Boy bands and girl bands.

-Boy bands and girl bands.

-But everything else, Barbara, you are going to be right across.

-Yes.

THEY LAUGH

Brilliant. Lovely to have you here, a warm welcome to you.

We'll find out more about you all later on. There's only one person left to introduce.

There are now reportedly over 100 Richard look-alikes.

They're paid to go to parties and ask obscure questions,

though we have got the original right here.

-It is my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya!

APPLAUSE

That's a terrifying thought.

-I just had an absolutely brilliant idea for a TV show.

-What?

A killer idea.

A series of novels and a massive, huge TV hit.

Um... Tom as a detective.

Retired vicar living in the Lake District.

LAUGHTER

-He's got a very calm voice, doesn't he?

-Yes.

-He's got a very, very commanding voice.

-What's your surname, Tom?

-Thomas.

Oh!

-That's just a gift from God!

-Tom Thomas!

-Tom Thomas!

-Who's not watching that?

That's getting 65 million viewers every week.

Done. You in, Tom?

-Oh, absolutely.

-Brilliant.

You're 0.8% of this idea.

LAUGHTER

That's your image rights sold to us.

-We've got two returning pairs today. They both did rather well last time.

-Yes.

And they were both knocked out. We saw David and Hannah get through to the head-to-head

and Martin and Ian got knocked out sort of on a technicality.

Ian, I think, knew the answer, he just... The wrong thing came out of his mouth. It's the truth.

But also, we've been spending quite a lot of time since the last show

listening to their band, haven't we, the Lazy Giants.

-Brilliant.

-Big fan.

-Big, big fan.

-I'm a big fan of Susanna The Scanner, that's my...

-Susanna The Scanner.

-Yeah.

I am lost in Quicksand as well, Quicksand.

-Quicksand is a great song. You guys have got a real sound.

-Thanks.

-Thanks.

Now, interestingly, we've recently sold a very big detective series to a major US network.

-And we're looking for a theme tune. Lazy Giants involved?

-Yeah.

We'll talk fees first.

I was worried we'd go with maybe turn Susanna The Scanner into Hosanna The Scanner.

Maybe, that might be a...

LAUGHTER

-It's not bad.

-We're up for that, yeah.

-It's not bad, is it, Tom?

Susanna The Scanner. And you can maybe be in it.

You could be a dithering local police officer.

LAUGHTER

And Thomas always has to just shake his head whenever you turn up...

I'll be the slow one... He's...

I'll be sort of plodding up the fells.

Mr Tom, Mr Tom, I do believe it was John the Farmhand who's done it!

And he'll go, "Oh, dear."

What with a man from the south west in Alveston?

Because it's the only other accent you can do.

LAUGHTER

-Clever, clever. Well, let's do this show first.

-Yeah, yeah.

OK, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

In order to get to the final round and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

So the fewer of our 100 people who knew the answer,

the fewer points you'll all score.

What everyone's trying to do, is to find a pointless answer -

an answer that none our 100 people got.

And each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we added another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in the first round, each of you must give me one answer.

You cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

So try and make sure that's not you. Our first category this afternoon is...

Royals. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns...

Monarchs of the world.

Ben doesn't look happy with that at all. Richard.

Yes, on each pass, we're going to show you the names of seven monarchs.

You need to tell us which country they reign in or they reigned in.

And when you do, give us the name of the country as it was,

when they acceded to their throne, please.

It's going to be 14, have a go at home as well. Very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much.

David and Hannah, you all drew lots before the show today.

You are going to go first.

So we are looking for the countries in which these monarchs reign or reigned.

And we have got on our first board...

I'll read those all one last time.

Phew!

-Hannah.

-Right.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm going to have to take an educated guess.

And I'm going for Emperor Hirohito, Japan.

Emperor Hirohito, Japan, says Hannah.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Japan.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

56. High score,

but a correct answer.

And it's a lot better than 100. Richard.

It is a big score, yeah.

He was the 124th emperor and a noted marine biologist.

Martin.

Ooh...

Emperor Qin Shi Huang.

And...

China.

China, says Martin, for Emperor Qin Shi Huang.

Let see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's absolutely right, Martin, very, very well done.

Look at that, 33!

A good score.

Again, it's a good educated guess here.

He said his dynasty would last for 10,000 generations.

-No.

-No.

Ben.

Um... Tsar Nicholas II is Russia, isn't it? I think.

Oh, I hope it is. I think it's Russia, Tsar Nicholas.

Russia, says Ben. Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many people said Russia for Tsar Nicholas II.

It's right.

58, a right answer.

Yes, the last Tsar of Russia, of course, assassinated in 1918.

But who assassinated him in that sleepy Lake District village?

LAUGHTER

-Anyone could have done that.

-That's a job for the local bobby!

LAUGHTER

Wait up, Reverend Tom! I think I've caught him.

I don't think you have, young man.

It just writes itself, doesn't it?

Oh, brilliant.

Now then, Vivianne.

I've heard of most of them.

The only one that I think I kind of know

is King Gustav VI, Sweden.

King Gustav VI of Sweden, says Vivianne.

Let's find out if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said it. King Gustav VI, Sweden.

Oh, it's right! Very well done, Vivianne.

I think that's going to be a very good answer, 21.

Lovely low score, best score of the pass.

Yeah, very good answer, King Gustav. Married Lady Louise Mountbatten.

She was the Queen of Sweden. Let's fill in the rest of the board.

Emperor Haile Selassie is Ethiopia, of course.

It would have scored 31 points.

King Mswati III, do you know that one?

-Swaziland.

-Swaziland, that's right.

It would have scored 5.

And you might be able to guess by the sort of name,

King Kamehameha II.

Would I be able to guess that?

-Kamehameha.

-Kamehameha. Ah!

That... Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii...

Yeah, but when Hawaii was a country, absolutely right.

Kamehameha II, 4 points.

So well done if you said that.

-There were five King Kamehamehas.

-Kamehameha.

Halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

Very much the best score of the round was yours, Vivianne.

Very well done. Lovely low score, 21.

So Vivianne and Barbara, looking absolutely peachy at this stage.

Then, up to 33, where we find Martin and Ian. Well done.

Up to 56, where we find Hannah and David.

Then, just up a squeak to 58, where we find Ben and Tom.

So Tom, you have an uphill struggle.

You should be no stranger to those in Alveston.

A nice low-scoring answer from you

we require on the next board.

Let's hope that's enough to keep you in the game. Good luck.

Let's come back down the line. Can the second players take their places at the podium?

Can I just point out before you reveal the next board

that I've given you an even harder one to pronounce.

Good, good, good.

We're going to see seven more monarchs on the board and here they come.

We have got...

HE LAUGHS

APPLAUSE

1928. King Zog, I am for ever grateful.

APPLAUSE

I shall read those all one last time.

Now, remember, we are looking for the countries

in which these monarchs reign or reigned.

And you are trying to find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Barbara, you're on 21, a lovely low score.

Courtesy of Vivianne in the last pass.

Tom and Ben are the highest scorers at the moment on 58.

If you can score 36 or less,

you will avoid becoming the new highest scorers.

I think I know three of them.

And I think I'll go for King Louis XIV of France.

France you are going to say for Louis XIV. Here comes your red line.

You get below that, you are through to the next round, Barbara.

Let's see how many people said France for Louis Quatorze.

APPLAUSE

59. I think that's probably enough to see you through, Barbara.

We shall discover, but 80 is your total.

It absolutely is a big score, but much better than 100.

Absolutely, yeah. Became king at the age of five.

Tom.

-Mmm.

-Tom, we need a low score from you.

I think you're going to be quite good at this.

Mm, no, I don't think I am.

I'll go for Juan Carlos, Spain.

King Juan Carlos, who you think reigns in Spain.

Here is your red line.

Let's see, King Juan Carlos of Spain.

Is that right? How many people said it?

It is right.

APPLAUSE

62 takes your total up to 120.

Yeah, absolutely, King Juan Carlos of Spain.

Now then, Ian, you're on 33.

The highest scorer, on 120, are Tom and Ben.

A score of 86 or less will see you through to the next round.

Yeah, I'm struggling a bit

with the ones that are left, though.

I think I'm just going to have to go for the obvious one,

which is Pharaoh Tutankhamun, Egypt.

Tutankhamun, Egypt, says Ian.

Here's your red line.

It's quite a high red line.

Tutankhamun.

Will it get you below that red line, let's find out how many people said it.

You've done it!

66. Very, very well done.

APPLAUSE

66 and 33, it takes your total to 99.

Yeah, well played, Ian. You did what you had to do there.

It was famously discovered in 1922 by Howard Carter.

Now, David, we have a game on our hands here.

You're on 56,

the highest scorers, on 120, are Tom and Ben.

You have to score 63 or less to stay in the game.

You were head-to-head last time.

Talk us through the board.

I've heard of King Zog,

but I've no clue where that is.

I've got educated-ish guesses for the other three.

Queen Beatrix, I think it's either the Netherlands or Denmark.

Mohammed Reza Shah Pahlavi,

I thought maybe Saudi Arabia, but maybe Pakistan.

And then, I was thinking Sultan Haji may be something about Morocco,

but then I remembered Brunei has a sultan. So I'm going to go Brunei.

You're going to say Brunei. Let's see.

Is it Brunei and, if it is, how many people said it?

Very, very well done. You've done it, brilliant!

Five, David!

That's a great score!

APPLAUSE

Fantastic bit of reasoning and it's earned you a total of 61

and a place in the next round. Very well done.

Terrific answer, David. That educated guess played off,

very tough when you're fourth in line on a board like that.

One of the world's richest men, the Sultan of Brunei.

Let's go through the rest of the board.

So Queen Beatrix, David,

if you'd had to have gone for the Netherlands or Denmark,

what would you have gone for?

Netherlands.

Netherlands is the right answer. Absolutely.

It would have scored you 43.

Mohammed Reza Shah Pahlavi was the Shah of Iran

before Ayatollah Khomeini.

You would have scored 12 points. And King Zog. Do you know that one?

Uh... It's Albania, I think.

Yeah, he was King of Albania. Absolutely right.

20 points for that one.

So Brunei actually the best answer on that board. Well done.

Very good. Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round,

the pair who'll be leaving us with the highest score of 120,

I'm afraid it's Tom and Ben.

Nothing wrong with your answers at all. It was just quite high.

Tsar Nicholas and King Juan Carlos between them

ratcheted up to 120 points.

That is quite high.

Did you know any of those other ones, Tom, when they were filled in?

Yes, I did. I knew Queen Beatrix.

I was just working out we still wouldn't have made it.

We'll see you next time, Tom and Ben. We look forward to that.

Meanwhile, thank you very much for playing. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, is now time for Round Two.

Now, sadly, at the end of this round,

another pair will be leaving us.

Wouldn't like to guess which pair that'll be.

I think you all played very well in that round.

Some good answers from all of you.

Very best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...

-Children's TV, Barbara, this plays right into your hands.

-Yes.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many female Blue Peter presenters since 1958 as they could.

Female Blue Peter presenters since 1958. Richard.

Yes, we're looking for the name of any female who's been one of the main presenters on Blue Peter

from its beginning in 1958 right through to May 2012, please.

Any of the main presenters who've been female. Very best of luck.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, David.

I've got one in my mind than I'm not totally certain on.

So I'm going to go for a possibly more obvious one and say Konnie Huq.

Konnie Huq, says David, Konnie Huq. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Konnie Huq.

Absolutely right.

APPLAUSE

-Konnie Huq.

-Yes, the longest-serving ever female presenter on Blue Peter.

There's only one person who's presented Blue Peter longer than her, and that's John Noakes.

-Really? I didn't know that.

-Yeah, isn't that amazing?

-Yeah.

Ian.

I'm trying to think of a modern one.

It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember,

so I'm going to go slightly before my time,

a female presenter which is Janet Ellis.

Janet Ellis, says Ian.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Janet Ellis.

Absolutely right.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Ian.

Yeah, Janet Ellis, who was host from 1983 to 1987.

Now then, Barbara.

I can't think of one.

Honestly. Not one...

So... Katie Price?

LAUGHTER

Well, it's worth it just for the thought, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

Oh, Katie Price. Let's see if that's right, shall we?

And if it is, let's see how many people said Katie Price.

-Oh, that's a shame.

-What a shame in every sense, Barbara.

Yes, Katie Price, I'm afraid, not yet a Blue Peter presenter.

That's incorrect and scores you 100 points. But what points they are!

Thank you for that, Barbara.

Katie Price.

Yeah. Sorry, Barbara, as I say, this only goes up to May 2012,

-you never know in the future.

-No.

I think you may be mixing up Blue Peter and Peter Andre. They're very easily...

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Half way through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

18, the best score of the pass, Ian, very well done indeed.

Ian and Martin looking pretty sturdy.

Then, up to 23, where David and Hannah also look pretty sturdy.

Then, I'm afraid it's all the way up to 100, Barbara.

What a shame!

-You'll think of all them, of course, in the next minutes.

-Yes.

Vivianne, it's going to require a miracle,

but it is going to require a low score from you most definitely.

Best of luck with that. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, so we're looking for female Blue Peter presenters since 1958.

And Vivianne, you're going to try and find the most obscure one,

the one that fewest of our 100 people knew.

Is this any better for you than it was for Barbara?

Probably not, but the only one that I can think of is Valerie Singleton.

Valerie Singleton, says Vivianne, Valerie Singleton.

No red line for you as you are the highest scorers by a margin.

But let's see, how many people said Valerie Singleton.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

That takes your total up to an unbeatable 163, I'm afraid. Richard.

Yeah, punishingly high score, Valerie Singleton.

Valerie Singleton OBE for her services to broadcasting.

There used to be a gallery in Bloomsbury, in London,

called Gallery Singleton, which I always used to like as I drove past.

I'd rather see a bike shop called Jones Spokes.

LAUGHTER

An off-licence called Peter Drunken.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, I guess.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Martin.

Good news, you're in the head-to-head whatever happens.

-But let's have a good answer from you.

-OK.

I could figure out a couple of obvious ones,

obviously, I might just as well try something...

There's one I'm pretty confident of, which I think was Katy Hill.

Katy Hill, says Martin. Katy Hill.

Let's see if that's right. No red line for you, you're already through.

But let's see how many people said Katy Hill.

Absolutely right.

Very well done, Martin, that's a great answer.

Takes your total up to 22.

APPLAUSE

Another great answer from Martin. I was wondering, Barbara, if in your head

you knew Katy Hill and it came out as Katie Price.

I think I did, I had the wrong surname.

LAUGHTER

If it was up to me, I wouldn't charge you the points.

THEY LAUGH

Now then, Hannah.

You're also through to the next round.

But let's have a brilliant low-scoring answer.

The way David was nodding at Katy Hill there,

something tells me you might know quite a bit about Blue Peter.

-No.

-Really? Just David, then.

It's probably the only children's programme I never watched.

All the answers I knew for sure have already gone.

I think there's one called Helen Skelton,

-so I'm going to have to go with that.

-Helen Skelton.

Helen Skelton. Is it right? There's no red line for you, cos you're already through.

But let's see - Helen Skelton.

Absolutely right.

Seven! Very well done indeed.

It takes your total up to a lovely round 30.

Good answer, Hannah.

She started hosting Blue Peter in September 2008.

Let's take a look at the... There's only one pointless answer here,

she hosted Blue Peter from 1996 to 1998

alongside Konnie Huq and Katy Hill and it was...

Romana D'Annunzio, so very, very well done if you said that.

Pointless answer.

Tina Heath would have scored you 1, Anita West 2.

There's some other low scorers - Leila Williams 2,

Diane-Louise Jordan would have scored you 3, as would Liz Barker.

We've had Katy Hill, Caron Keating would have scored 5,

Zoe Salmon, 6, Yvette Fielding, 8, Sarah Greene, 11.

Anthea Turner, 14.

Let's take a look at the top three answers, though.

We've already seen a couple of them.

Lesley Judd was third with 23.

Then, it's Konnie Hug, 23 as well.

And way out in front, Valerie Singleton on 63.

If you want to be famous for ever, be famous in the '70s.

-Exactly right.

-That's right.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of Round Two,

the pair with the highest score is Vivianne and Barbara.

Oh, dear!

Valerie Singleton, perfectly good answer,

but by a country mile, the highest scoring answer there.

Obviously, apart from Katie Price, which was...

which was sort of brilliant.

Vivianne and Barbara, we'll see you again next time.

We look forward to that very much indeed.

Meanwhile, thank you so much for playing. Lovely contestants.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, things are about to get more exciting as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, David and Hannah, Martin and Ian.

You're now only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

You're going head-to-head. The pair to win two questions will be playing for that money,

but the big difference is you're now allowed to confer.

Very, very best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns....

Four-letter birds. Richard.

Yes, for this question, I'm going to show you five pictures of birds

which are commonly known by four-letter names.

Can you pick the most obscure of these, please?

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five four-letter birds,

And here they are. We have got...

Oh...

There we are.

David and Hannah, you played best throughout the show so far, so you go first.

OK. We're going for C, it's rhea.

C, rhea.

Now then, Martin and Ian. Talk us through the board.

Right, so we've got the obvious ones -

A being dove

and D being swan.

I think E might be a kiwi bird, unless I'm making that up.

-So shall we just say...

-E, kiwi.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, we'll go E, kiwi.

E, kiwi.

So we have, from David and Hannah, we have C, rhea

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said C, rhea.

It is right. That's a great answer.

How far is going to go down? Oh, 6!

APPLAUSE

Very, very well done, David and Hannah. It's a great answer.

6 for rhea.

Martin and Ian have said E, kiwi.

E, kiwi. Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said kiwi for E.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

David and Hannah, after one question you're up one-nil, very well done. Richard.

Yeah, rhea is one of the Scrabble words as well that are used a lot. R-H-E-A.

A is a dove.

It's just so showbiz, isn't it?

Look at the dove. I don't know who does press for the dove.

82 points.

B is the best answer on the board.

Very well done at home if you said ruff.

It would have scored you 2 points.

D is another of our very, very big scorers.

It's a swan, of course,

which 97 people knew.

Three people didn't know that.

LAUGHTER

Well done, anyone who said ruff, that's a very good answer.

-But rhea also a terrific answer.

-Here comes your second question.

Martin and Ian, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

It concerns...

-Richard.

-We're going to give you five clues now to facts about the great man himself.

Can you pick the most obscure answer here? Good luck.

OK, here come our five clues to facts about Stephen Fry.

And we have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now then, Martin and Ian, you go first this time.

Right, we think that the...

2010 football club he joined the board for was Norwich.

Norwich.

Norwich City, OK. Norwich City, say Martin and Ian.

Now, David and Hannah, you can talk us through the rest of the board, if you like.

Unfortunately, that one's right. We think.

Host of TV comedy quiz is QI.

Toured this country in a London taxi is the USA.

I'm kicking myself because I know the film

and I've read some of his novels

and I just... Their names elude me at the moment.

We'll have to go for the USA, for the country he toured.

OK, you're going to say the USA.

The country he toured in a London taxi in 2008.

OK, so we have Norwich City and the USA.

Martin and Ian said Norwich City, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

APPLAUSE

David and Hannah have said he toured the USA in a London taxi in 2008.

Let's see, how many people said that and if it's right.

Absolutely right.

Are we going to beat 16?

No, it's not. 36.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Ian and Martin, you're back in the game.

After two questions, that's one all. Richard.

Yeah, he toured the USA for the BBC series Stephen Fry In America.

Let's take a look at the rest of them. QI, absolutely, it's right.

But it's a big scorer. It would have scored you 61.

The other two are low scorers.

Wrote and directed this 2003 film.

Wilde.

-Bright Young Things.

-Bright Young Things...

Lowest scorer with 1 points.

It would have been a terrific answer.

Now, the name of his first published novel is a pointless answer.

I think is The Hippopotamus.

Absolutely wrong.

-It's The Liar.

-It's The Liar!

It's The Liar! It's The Liar.

Oh, dear. Anyway, there we go.

Good. OK, so here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this question goes through to the final.

And it concerns...

Famous UK houses, Richard.

Yes, we're going to give you the name of five famous houses from the UK here,

but we've missed out alternate letters.

Can you find the most obscure of this? Good luck.

OK, so let's reveal our five famous houses.

And we have....

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five famous UK houses with missing alternate letters.

David and Hannah, you go first again this time.

We're going to go for the bottom one.

It's Haworth Parsonage.

Haworth Parsonage, say David and Hannah.

Martin and Ian, you can now do your thinking out loud.

Ooh... We're a bit stuck, to be honest.

The one we definitely know is Castle Howard...

I think the...the fourth one is obviously something Palace

and it's got to be something like...

Let's, let's... Should we go Castle Howard?

Yeah, OK.

Yeah, we'll go Castle Howard.

OK, Castle Howard, you're going to say for the middle one.

So we have from David and Hannah Haworth Parsonage.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

APPLAUSE

3 for Haworth Parsonage.

Very, very well done indeed.

Martin and Ian have gone for Castle Howard.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Which means, David and Hannah, after three questions,

you are through to the final. 2-1, very well done indeed. Richard.

Well played. Haworth Parsonage, where the Bronte sisters grew up.

The best answer on the board, nothing you could have done about, guys,

-so very well played. Do you want to fill in this?

-Yeah.

-Top one?

-Woburn Abbey.

-Woburn Abbey, absolutely right. It would have scored 12 points.

-Next one.

-Chatsworth House.

-Chatsworth House, yeah.

That would have scored 9.

-And Blenheim Palace.

-Blenheim Palace. It's right.

It's the biggest scorer on the board, 31.

So Haworth Parsonage and Chatsworth House, the best answers on that board.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, Ian and Martin.

I'm so sorry, really, really good played all the way through.

-Great to have you on the show. Thank you so much for playing.

-Thanks.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But, for David and Hannah, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, David and Hannah.

You fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show the jackpot stands at £2,000.

APPLAUSE

You've done so well. I mean, an exemplary Pointless career there.

You were head-to-headers last time,

slightly more senior head-to-headers this time.

Well, the rules are very, very simple.

To win the money, you need to find a pointless answer.

We haven't had any on the show today.

You only have to find one now and you'll go home with that money.

First, though, you've got to choose a category. You have five choices, here they are.

-How are you for European theatre?

-Depends on the question.

Possibly amazing, possibly dreadful.

Award-winning films we could go have a go at.

International pop, possibly better than...

Not sure we'll know the pointless ones in award-winning films.

-And probably not international pop.

-Let's go films.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-I don't want it all on my head.

-OK, all right, all right. Films.

OK, films it is. Best of luck. Here we go. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many films that have won the Best Picture Oscar

as they could.

-Richard.

-We're looking for any film that's ever won the Best Picture Oscar

or the equivalent, it used to be called different things, but the same award.

Right through from the first Oscar ceremony in 1928, right through to the 2012 ceremony, please.

Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £2,000 jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

OK. Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

-There they are, your time starts now.

-OK.

So, there was... I think, Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs did,

cos they had the seven little...Oscars.

-Oh, yeah, OK.

-The Artist did, didn't it?

-Yes.

And then, we've got Titanic, Schindler's List...

-The Departed? Did that win?

-Maybe.

Or Inception, that was...

Road To Perdition?

Maybe.

Um...

What else?

Think, think, think, think, think. What else?

I think The Last King Of Scotland,

but was that just for Whitaker? Just for actor?

We could go for it.

I think we should go maybe Snow White,

Road To Perdition.

What did you just say?

The Artist, you said The Departed, Inception. I'm not sure about those.

No, I don't know. I'm not sure about those.

Ten seconds left.

Road to Perdition. I don't think The Last King Of Scotland did.

We should try it.

Time up. We were looking for winners of the Oscar For Best Picture.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

-We'll go for Snow White And The Seven Dwarves.

-Snow White And The Seven Dwarves.

-The Piano?

-Yeah.

-The Piano.

-Road To Perdition?

-Perfect.

-Road To Perdition.

-And Road To Perdition.

OK, now, of those three, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs.

-Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs.

We'll put that last.

Which do you think is your least likely?

-Road To Perdition.

-Yeah, do you think?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Road To Perdition.

-Road To Perdition.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order and here they are.

We've got Road To Perdition,

The Piano and Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs.

OK, so we were looking for winners of the Oscar For Best Picture.

Road To Perdition was your least confident answer.

The one you thought was least likely to be pointless.

We don't know if it's correct yet.

We have to find that out and then, it has to be pointless, of course,

if you're going to win the jackpot of £2,000.

So let's find out. Road To Perdition. Is it right?

How many people said it? Good luck.

Bad luck. An incorrect answer.

So, unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Hannah, what would you do with £2,000?

Ah... We have an eight-month-old daughter

and we're taking her to Disneyland for her first birthday.

-So we'll be able to spend the money on that.

-Brilliant.

And the lights have stopped working in the kitchen,

so the electrician needs to come round as well.

It's exciting stuff.

OK, very good, good practical use for your £2,000.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Let's hope one of your two answers wins it for you.

We need the winner of the Oscar For Best Picture.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer - The Piano.

This has to be correct and then, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

So for £2,000, let's see how many people said The Piano.

Oh, bad luck! Another incorrect answer.

It's now all riding on Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs.

Which is just as well because you put this last.

You know, this was your most confident answer.

Of any of your answers,

this was the one you thought was most likely to come down to 0.

-And you remember seven little dwarf Oscars.

-But was it for best picture?

We'll find out.

To win that jackpot, it has to be right and it has to be pointless.

Let's find out. For £2,000,

how many people said Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs. Is it pointless? Good luck.

Oh, no! Bad luck!

APPLAUSE

Bad luck, David and Hannah.

Sadly, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

But you do still get to take home a Pointless trophy each.

So very, very well done for that.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, that's very unlucky. There were the seven little Oscars.

-It was when Walt Disney was given an honorary Oscar.

-Oh...

And they gave him one, a large one and seven small ones.

Road To Perdition, Chicago won in that year. That would have scored you 2 points.

Schindler's List won in the year of The Piano, it'd have scored 3 points.

A couple other things you said would have been correct answers.

The Artist would have scored you 13.

The Departed was a correct answer

-and was a pointless answer as well.

-Oh!

AUDIENCE: Oh...

Sorry about that. It's a tough one. It would have been a terrific answer.

Road To Perdition, of course, was directed by Sam Mendes.

And if you'd said American Beauty, another Sam Mendes' film,

that was a pointless answer as well.

Driving Miss Daisy was a pointless answer.

Hamlet, that's the Olivier version from 1948,

that was a pointless answer.

It Happened One Night, a pointless answer. Rebecca, a pointless answer.

There's The Departed, a Martin Scorsese's film.

The Godfather Part II, first ever sequel to win the Best Picture Oscar.

The Sting, with Newman and Redford, of course.

And You Can't Take It With You, the Capra film from 38.

There's some other few pointless answers.

All About Eve, Annie Hall, In The Heat Of The Night, On The Waterfront, The French Connection.

All of those pointless. Very well done if you said any of those at home. Very tough luck.

Oh, bad luck. It's always really hard

when you've said one of the pointless answers in your conferring.

Sadly, we have to say goodbye to you. It's been brilliant having you on the show.

You've been such good contestants.

-Absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

David and Hannah didn't win our jackpot, which means it rolls over onto the next show,

when we'll be playing for £3,000.

APPLAUSE

-Join us then. See if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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