Episode 9 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

-Let's meet today's players.

-APPLAUSE

First off, we welcome back Daley and Phil. You were on the show last time.

Everyone, of course, gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

-This is your second chance. Remind us, Daley, how you know each other.

-We are brothers.

You're brothers? Phil, what happened last time?

We got to the head-to-head and we lost.

-You did really well until the head-to-head.

-It was OK, then I think nerves got the better of us.

-What are you hoping will come up today, Daley?

-I'd like to see sport.

-Mm-hmm.

-That is, you know, it's a comfort zone for us.

Anything you particularly wouldn't like to see come up, Phil?

Not too brilliant on politics, really, things like that.

The stuff that I should know, I don't,

-and the stuff that I shouldn't, I do.

-Well, you did very well last time.

-Thank you.

I have every hope you'll do just as well, maybe even better, today.

Very best of luck. Great to have you back. Next we welcome back Naomi and Phillip, also on the show last time.

Naomi, remind us how you know each other.

-We're friends.

-So, then, what happened last time, Naomi? Talk us through it.

-Ooh, it was a bit of a disaster in the maritime history.

-Mm-hmm.

And Phillip, you gave us Henry VIII's ship was the Jolly Roger.

LAUGHTER

-Yes, I did!

-Yeah.

Anyway, that's all behind us.

-Phillip, what would be your dream category today?

-Erm...

Quite good on airlines, just from looking at the tailfins. Erm...

-Have you always been fascinated by that?

-I'm quite fascinated with the jet age,

like the early era of the air stewardess,

and I run a Facebook group that some of the members are ex-Pan Am stewardesses,

and they send me things through the mail.

I bet they do!

LAUGHTER

-That is a Facebook group I want to get involved in.

-Yeah! Wow.

-Well, that's quite niche.

-HE LAUGHS

All right, well very, very best of luck to you, Naomi and Phillip.

And next, we welcome Kat and Claire. Now, how do you to know each other?

-Where colleagues, we work in the same place.

-Where do you work, Kat?

We work in central London in citizenship education.

What does that involve, Claire?

I'm outreach, so I actually travel all around the UK,

and I mainly train teachers in how to teach about politics.

-Do you get an impression, Richard, these two are spies?

-LAUGHTER

-Spies?

-Yeah, Spies.

-Yeah, they're certainly not what they say they are.

-He IS a spy.

No, I'm not a spy.

Do you remember, I told you? LAUGHTER

I'm not... No, I'm not. No, I worked for MFI briefly.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, so you did!

-Yeah.

-Kat.

-Yes.

-What would you like to see come up today?

-Erm... I wouldn't mind a bit of science.

I used to work at the Science Museum, so my science knowledge is OK.

-Yeah.

-Or food and drink, I'm quite interested in restaurants and eating out.

Kat, Claire, a very warm welcome to Pointless, lovely to have you here.

And finally, we've got Andy and Gordon. Now, how do you to know each other?

We've been mates for the best part of about 11 years.

So how did you meet, Gordon?

I am a pub quizmaster, and have been for quite a few years,

and Andy was one of my quizzers, and we just became mates through that.

Of all the many, many subjects you know all about, Gordon, because we quizmasters know everything...

-Oh, yes!

-What do you hope is going to come up?

-Erm...

Some sport, football...

And as far as Andy is concerned, I imagine literature

and books would be a good one for Andy.

-What's your vintage of literature?

-My vintage of literature?

-Yeah. What genre?

-Modern literature, I think. I work in a library on the Isle of Wight.

-Oh, do you?

-Yeah.

-I've worked in libraries all my career.

-Oh, really?

-So I should know about books.

-OK, well, keep it down.

-THEY CHUCKLE

-Erm...

-Gordon, what do you do?

-I'm a prison officer.

-On the Isle of Wight?

-On the Isle of Wight, yes.

-At the famous prison?

-At the famous prison, yes.

It's lovely to have you on the show, very best of luck to the pair of you.

We'll find out more about all of you as we go along.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He's been choppered in, his bodyguards are in position...

Yes, they are, it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

APPLAUSE Hiya.

Hello!

Hello.

-Afternoon, Xander.

-Top of the afternoon to you.

-It's great to have a spy, well, two spies, on the show, isn't it?

-Yeah!

-Yeah.

-It's really cool.

Perhaps they're here because one of the other contestants is a suspect.

LAUGHTER

Do you know who I think the enemy operative is?

I know exactly who it is.

(I think it's Andy.)

I don't think he works in a library.

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

I think he works in a hollowed out volcano is where I think HE works.

LAUGHTER

With his mate who works in a "prison."

LAUGHTER

Mmm... Thanks very much, Richard.

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

In order to get to the final round and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot, our contestants

must find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

So the fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer, the fewer the points they'll score.

Now, what everyone's trying to do, of course, is to find a pointless answer.

That's an answer none of our 100 people gave, and each time that happens,

we'll add 250 quid to the jackpot. Nobody won the jackpot last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at an impressive £4,250.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

Now, in this first round, each of you must give me one answer, and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated,

so take care that that's not you.

OK, our first category today is:

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

And our question concerns...

Famous Hughs, Richard.

On each pass, we're going to show you seven descriptions of famous people

who are known by the name Hugh. Give us the most obscure answer, you score fewer points.

Give an incorrect answer, though, you score 100 points.

There'll be 14 in all to guess in this round,

so famous Hughs, it's a Who's Who of huge Hughs.

LAUGHTER

Right, now, Daley and Phil, you all drew lots before the show,

and today you are going first, so here are our famous Hughs.

Here they are. We have got:

I'll read those all one last time. Here we go...

There we are.

Seven Hughs.

-I know three of them.

-You know three?

-Yeah.

Erm... I'm going to go with Steve Punt, the partner being Hugh Dennis.

Hugh Dennis, the comedy partner of Steve Punt.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people knew that answer.

Hugh Dennis.

Absolutely right.

-30.

-APPLAUSE

I think that's a pretty reasonable score.

Richard.

Well done, Daley, now most famously the put-upon father in Outnumbered. Real name is Pete Dennis.

-So it is.

-Yeah.

OK, now then, Phillip. How's about these Hughs?

Erm...

I know two of them.

I think I'm going to go with my risky one

and that is, if you're not really familiar with that type of magazine,

then you're not really going to know who he is,

so I'm going to go for founder of Playboy Magazine is Hugh...

Oh, God, I forgot his name!

LAUGHTER

I can see him in his little red lounge coat with all these bunnies at the airport!

I tell you what, you paint a very evocative picture there.

I can't think, damn!

Got it. Quick, go, go!

-LAUGHTER

-Before I forget!

-Phillip...

-Go!

-Phillip.

-Go.

-OK, go, I will. Good.

APPLAUSE

What you going to go for, Phillip?

-Founder of Playboy Magazine, Hugh Hefner.

-Hugh Hefner!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's see if it's right.

LAUGHTER

Hugh Hefner, how many people knew that answer?

Absolutely right, Phillip. Ooh!

-Wow.

-APPLAUSE

-A feat of recall, there, I have to say, Phillip.

-Yes!

Very well done, 85. Richard.

Turns out pretty much everybody's familiar with that sort of magazine! LAUGHTER

Not just people who get stewardesses to send them things through the post.

LAUGHTER

Now then, Kat, remember,

we're looking for the famous Hughs described on the board.

Well, there's only one that I definitely know.

It's the leader of the UK Labour Party.

And I think it's Hugh Gaitskell.

Hugh Gaitskell, says Kat.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew Hugh Gaitskell was the answer.

Absolutely right.

-Very well done indeed, 16, Kat.

-APPLAUSE

-16 for Hugh Gaitskell. Richard.

-Well played, Kat.

He was the Labour leader 10 years after entering Parliament, Hugh Gaitskell.

Never became Prime Minister, though.

Thank you, Richard. Now then, Andy, you're the last person to have this board.

I think you might be able to tidy up for us.

I wish!

I'm guessing the King of France is Hugh the something, but I'm not going for that one.

-Mm-hmm...

-Erm... British actor, might be Hugh Laurie.

But I'm going to go for the lead singer of the Stranglers,

-as punk was pretty much my favourite sort of music. Hugh Cornwell.

-Hugh Cornwell, very good.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that answer. Hugh Cornwell.

Absolutely right.

-Wow, 12!

-APPLAUSE

Punk has served you well, Andy. The lowest score of the pass.

Very well done. 12 for Hugh Cornwell.

I knew Andy would go for that.

Andy and Gordon have got the look, haven't they, of former punks.

And once a punk, always a punk. They had 22 top 40 hits, the Stranglers,

and never had a number one.

-I thought Golden Brown...

-Golden Brown was number two.

-Number two!

Kept off number one by A Town Called Malice by The Jam.

Aah, well, there we go.

Let's fill in the rest of the board.

The British actor who plays Dr Gregory House,

and you're right, Andy, it is Hugh Laurie.

That would have scored 60 points,

so it's a big answer.

The Scottish referee, 1998 and 2002,

has got the same name as an American soap opera.

Hugh Roseanne!

-No, sorry...

-LAUGHTER

-Hugh Dallas.

-Hugh Dallas.

-Two points, well done if you said that.

And there's a pointless answer, the King of France from 987 to 996,

Hugh Capet.

OK, thank you very much, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

Andy and Gordon,

looking fantastically strong there on 12, lovely, lovely low score.

Then up to 16, where we find Kat and Claire.

30, where Daley and Phil are to be found.

Whoa! Up to 85, Phillip, I'm sorry to say. Great answer...

eventually...

-LAUGHTER

-..with Hugh Hefner. Yes. So, Naomi.

The pressure is all on you to find a brilliant, low-scoring Hugh,

and I think if anyone can do it, you can.

We're going to come back down the line, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

So, remember,

we're looking for famous Hughs described by these clues.

And here they come. We have got:

I'll read those all one last time, and here they are.

There we are. Remember, we are looking for the surnames of these famous Hughs,

and obviously, Gordon, you're trying to find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Andy did beautifully well with his Hugh Cornwell in the first pass,

scoring you a lovely low 12 against our high scorers,

Naomi and Phillip on 85.

Which means a score of 72 or less keeps you in the game.

I'm going to have to go safe.

Erm...and take lead actor in Four Weddings And A Funeral,

-being Hugh Grant.

-OK, Hugh Grant, says Gordon.

There is your red line,

below which you are through to the next round for sure.

Let's see if Hugh Grant is right, and if it is, how may people said it.

Yeah.

-And you are through. Ooh, just!

-APPLAUSE

Needed 72.

Got 70.

Takes your total up to 82.

-Very, very well done. Richard.

-Yeah, Hugh Grant.

Actor, campaigner, Fulham fan.

Big score, but sees you through to the next round.

-Claire.

-Right, I know three.

I think I'm going for Wolverine, plays Wolverine in the films,

I'm hoping people don't know the surname,

it's Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman, says Claire.

You're on 16. The high scorers on 85

are still Naomi and Phillip,

So if you can score 68 or less,

You are through to the next round, so let's see if Hugh Jackman is right,

and if it is, how many people said it.

You're through.

-29!

-APPLAUSE

Another great score, 29 takes your total up to 45.

-Richard.

-Well played, Claire. Before making it as an actor,

he used to dress up as Kooey the Koala in an Australian wildlife park.

LAUGHTER

-That's nice, isn't it?

-He must look back fondly on those days.

-He must do.

-Naomi, Naomi...

You are the high scorers on 85.

Your job here is to score as low as you possibly can,

and hope that is enough to keep you in the round.

So remember, we're looking for these famous Hughs.

OK, I'm going to go for River Cottage

celebrity chef and food writer,

-Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

-No red line for you, Naomi,

as you are the high scorers. Let's see if that's right, and hope it goes down as far as it possibly can.

Fingers crossed. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Is it right, how many people said it?

Yep, it's right.

-43!

-APPLAUSE

43 takes your total up to 128.

-Richard.

-You've given yourself a chance there, Naomi, well done.

-Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall famously cooked and served up placenta to 20 relatives, didn't he?

-Yeah.

-Still...

-Mmm... Ah, well.

Now, then, Phil, you're the last person in the entire round.

You also have quite a nice safety margin.

Naomi and Phillip have a total of 128,

they are the high scorers by a margin.

If you can score 97 or less with your answer,

you are through to the next round.

Talk us through the board, and fill in any of the Hughs we haven't yet identified.

I would love to be able to do that, but I don't know any, I'm afraid!

Ooh, Naomi and Phillip, listen to this!

The drama!

I'm going to have to make a complete guess on this one,

I'm going to go for plays the Earl of Grantham in Downton Abbey.

I'm going to go for Hugh Phillips.

OK, Hugh Phillips. Hugh Phillips, says Phil.

Is it right, how many people said it?

Who knew?

-Who knew?

-Oh, no.

Hugh Phillips, I'm afraid not the Earl of Grantham in Downton Abbey.

That scored you 100 points, brings your total up to 130.

-Sorry, Phil. Tough way to go out.

-Ooh!

-It's actually Hugh Bonneville.

-I have heard...

-Yeah.

That would have scored you 11 points and seen you safely through.

Burnt at the stake with Nicholas Ridley?

Hugh Latimer would have scored you two points.

The South African jazz trumpeter?

Played with Paul Simon on Graceland as well as many other things,

outspoken critic of apartheid, Hugh Masekela.

-Oh, I did know that.

-Yeah. Would have scored one point.

And the other one is a pointless answer,

pseudonym of the Scots poet, Christopher Murray Grieve.

-It's Hugh MacDiarmid.

-Hugh MacDiarmid.

Pointless, would have added some money to the jackpot,

very well done if you got that at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

So at the end of the first round, the pair who leave us with the highest score,

I'm sorry to say, Phil and Daley.

Did you not watch Downton?

-I didn't, no.

-No. It's been brilliant having you on the show.

Sorry we have to say goodbye. Thanks so much for playing.

-Great contestants. Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so we are down to three pairs, and at the end of this round,

another pair will be leaving us,

so the remaining pairs can face each other in the head-to-head round.

Well, Naomi and Phillip, you have been very lucky,

you have the high score, but you found Hugh Hefner eventually.

LAUGHTER

Let's hope that kind of luck doesn't desert you in this round,

and maybe will see you even into the head-to-head yet.

Very, very best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is:

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many 2012 Oscar-nominated films as they could.

2012 Oscar-nominated films. Richard.

Yes, we're looking for any film nominated in any category at all

in the Academy Awards ceremony held in 2012, please.

Very, very best of luck.

Thanks very much. Now then, Naomi, what is the most obscure film

that was nominated for an Oscar in 2012 that you can summon up?

The only one I can think of is a really, really obvious one.

So I'm just going to have to go with The Artist.

OK, The Artist, says Naomi, let's see if it's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said The Artist.

-26.

-APPLAUSE

-Richard.

-Big winner of the whole event, actually, ten nominations, five wins,

including Best Picture and Best Actor for Jean Dujardin.

Very good indeed. Now, then, Kat.

I don't know very many, The Artist was the first one in my mind, too.

Erm...

I'm going to go for The Help.

The Help, says Kat. How many people said The Help, if it's right?

Absolutely right.

-Very well done, indeed.

-APPLAUSE

Eight for The Help. Good answer, good score.

-Richard.

-Well played, Kat.

Four nominations and one win, Best Supporting Actress for Octavia Spencer.

And Gordon, we come to you.

So we are looking for films that were nominated for Oscars in 2012.

I think I'm going to plump for War Horse.

War Horse.

Let's see if that's right, and how many of our 100 said War Horse.

-19.

-APPLAUSE

-Not bad at all, 19 for War Horse.

-Good answer, Gordon. Six nominations,

including for Best Picture.

Anyway, we're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores. Kat and Claire.

Looking very strong indeed on just eight. Then we go up to 19,

where we find Gordon and Andy, then up a little bit,

where we find Naomi and Phillip on 26.

Not massive pressure on you, Phillip, but you are out in front,

so you're going to have to find a correspondingly low score

to keep yourselves in the game for the head-to-head.

We are going to come back down the line, can the second players please take their places at the podium?

So, we're looking for films that were nominated for Oscars in 2012.

Andy, the high scorers on 26

are Phillip and Naomi. You're on 19, so a score of six or less

sees you deftly into the head-to-head.

What about, erm... Can't remember the title, really,

the Meryl Streep film about Margaret Thatcher...

Was it called...erm...

Was it called Margaret?

Go for that.

Here's your red line.

It's quite low.

Let's see if Margaret is right,

and if it is, let's see if it gets you below that red line.

Margaret, how many people said that?

Ooh! Bad luck, Andy.

Bad luck, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

I think you'll kick yourself when you know the right answer.

That scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 119.

Claire.

-Here's good news.

-Well...

Even if you score 100 points, you are through to the head-to-head.

You won't overtake Andy and Gordon's high score, 119.

Lucky, that was my answer for that one,

cos it's the one that's sort of sticking in my brain, which is...

-Get ready for this.

-Yeah, The Iron Lady.

Is it right, The Iron Lady? How many people said it?

It's right.

-16!

-APPLAUSE

16 takes your total up to 24.

Excellent low score there.

-The Iron Lady.

-Well done, Claire, won Best Actress for Meryl Streep,

-and Best Make-Up, as well.

-Now, then, Phillip.

You've been chucked the most almighty lifeline by Andy, there.

They are the high scorers, Andy and Gordon on 119.

You're on 26. A score of 92 or less

sees you through to the next round.

-Do you think you know an answer?

-I've got one.

I vividly remember Colin Firth speaking to the actress

directly in the audience

about something, and I'm going to go for

Marilyn And Me.

OK, there is your red line. Lovely and high.

If Marilyn And Me is correct and goes down below that red line,

you are through to the head-to-head. Very best of luck.

Let's see.

Marilyn And Me, is it right, how many people said it?

Bad luck, Phillip, bad luck.

I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

so you also score the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total up to 126. Andy and Gordon, phew!

Phillip, commiserations. Richard.

Sorry, Phillip, your memory almost right, Colin Firth was talking to Michelle Williams,

who is in the film,

but it's My Week With Marilyn, which would have scored one point, as well.

Would have been a great answer.

Our 100 could name very few of those Oscar-nominated films.

Some of the very big films like Descendants would have only scored you six,

Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, three, Moneyball, Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, they both scored two.

So very, very low scores.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless ones, as well.

Plenty of them, Albert Nobbs, Glenn Close nominated for Best Actress,

Janet McTeer for Best Supporting Actress, Drive.

-Drive? One of my favourite films of the last ten years.

-Amazing film. It was only nominated for sound editing.

-Unbelievable.

-Midnight In Paris...

-Woody Allen.

..was also pointless, was nominated for Best Picture,

nominated Best Director for Woody Allen.

Puss In Boots, which was nominated for Best Animated Film,

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, The Ides Of March,

George Clooney nominated there for his part in that screenplay.

The Muppets, which was nominated for Best Song, Bret McKenzie from Flight Of The Conchords.

Er... The Tree Of Life, also nominated for Best Film, and the Madonna...

-WE, that's a GREAT film(!)

-Nominated for Best Costume.

So an awful lot of pointless answers there, and we've already heard

all three top answers, the worst answers you could have given.

The Iron Lady, the third most popular answer, 16, Claire said that.

War Horse, Gordon said.

Would have scored 19.

And at the top, The Artist,

which Naomi gave us, 26.

Well, thanks very much, Richard. So, at the end of Round Two, the losing pair with the highest score,

I'm afraid it's the end of the road for Phillip and Naomi.

You've had some great swings and roundabouts,

-haven't you, on this show?

-Yeah.

Anyway, Phillip and Naomi,

lovely having you on the show, thank you for playing.

-Thanks.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs,

things are about to get even more exciting now, as we enter the head-to-head.

Well, congratulations, Kat and Claire, Andy and Gordon,

you are now only one round away from the final, and the chance

to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £4,250.

APPLAUSE

So you're now going to go head-to-head,

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

The great news is, you are now allowed to confer,

so you can play as a team.

Very, very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns:

Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of people who have been named

Time Magazine's Person Of The Year, a feature they've been running since 1927.

Can you name the most obscure of these, please?

OK, thanks very much, Richard.

Let's reveal our Time Magazine Person Of The Year,

and here they are.

We have got:

OK, there we are. Five People Of The Year from Time Magazine.

Now, then, Kat and Claire,

cos you've played best throughout the show so far, you get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

OK.

Erm... OK, we're going to go for A, Mark Zuckerberg.

Mark Zuckerberg, you are saying, is A. Mark Zuckerberg, A.

Andy and Gordon, you can talk us through the board.

OK, well, erm...

We're both pretty confident we know B and E.

We think B is Gorbachev, and E looks a bit like Stalin.

-Shall we go for Stalin?

-I think we'll go for him, yes.

We'll go for E, Stalin.

E, Stalin.

So we have Mark Zuckerberg and we have Stalin.

Kat and Claire, you've said that A is Mark Zuckerberg.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people knew that.

It's right...

-22!

-APPLAUSE

Not bad.

Not bad. Andy and Gordon, you are saying that E is Stalin. E, Stalin.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people knew that.

Absolutely right.

-43.

-APPLAUSE

Mark Zuckerberg wins it for Kat and Claire, which means after one question, you are up 1-0. Richard.

Yes, Stalin almost twice as well-known as Mark Zuckerberg, which is surprising.

He won it twice, Stalin, in 1939 and 1942.

Mark Zuckerberg, good answer, won it in 2010.

Mr Facebook.

The others, you were quite right about B, that is Mikhail Gorbachev.

Would have scored you 30 points, though.

And the other two answers are the ones

that would have won you the points. C is... Do you know C?

I know his face.

It's Ted Turner. The American businessman, would have scored five points,

used to be married to Jane Fonda.

And D, for six points, is Haile Selassie.

-He looked like Sacha Baron Cohen!

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

I never knew that.

-Ruled Ethiopia for 45 years, won Man Of The Year in 1935.

-Wow.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Here is your second question, and it concerns:

Richard.

For this question, we're going to show you five clues to facts

-about Buckingham Palace, can you give us the most obscure answer?

-OK, thanks very much.

Andy and Gordon, you have to win this to stay in the game.

Let's reveal our five facts about Buckingham Palace. Here they are:

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about Buckingham Palace.

Andy and Gordon, you go first.

(First monarch?)

(Er... Victoria...)

Um... I think we're going to go for the flag,

which is hopefully the Royal Standard.

The Royal Standard, say Andy and Gordon, for the flag which flies

over the Palace when the monarch's in residence. Kat and Claire,

you can talk us through the rest of the board, if you like.

That was the one we were going to go for!

We know the road connecting it to Trafalgar Square is The Mall.

And the guitarist who played was Brian May.

We can't remember if the first monarch was Queen Victoria.

-Which shall we go for?

-Shall we go for The Mall?

Yeah. The road connecting it to Trafalgar Square, The Mall.

We have the Royal Standard and The Mall, our two answers.

Andy and Gordon, you have to win this question to stay in the game. Bearing which in mind, let's see.

The Royal Standard. Is that right?

And if so, how many people said it? The Royal Standard.

Absolutely right.

21.

21 for the Royal Standard.

Kat and Claire, you've said The Mall is the road that connects

Buckingham Palace to Trafalgar Square. Let's see if that's right, and if so, how many people said it.

It's absolutely right.

21's what you have to beat.

39. 39 for The Mall.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Andy and Gordon. You are back in the game.

After two questions, it's 1-1. Richard?

Well played, Andy and Gordon. Kat, if you had

taken a risk on the first monarch, what would you have gone for?

-Victoria.

-I think Queen Victoria.

You'd be in the final. It is Victoria,

would have scored you 15 points.

The guitarist who played on the roof, you're right, was Brian May.

But that would have scored you way too many.

42 points, the biggest answer there.

The best answer was the architect engaged to modify the palace.

It was John Nash.

He nearly doubled it in size, two points.

Now then, here comes our third and final question - the decider.

Whoever wins this question goes through to the final

and plays for that impressive jackpot. Here it comes.

It concerns:

-Richard?

-We're going to show you five common terms

for parts of the human eye but we've left out alternate letters.

Can you identify them, please, and pick the most obscure? Good luck, both teams.

OK, let's reveal our five parts of the eye

with missing alternate letters.

And we have got...

I'll read those again, without the blanks.

Kat and Claire. You get to go first.

OK. I think we're going to go for cornea, the second one down.

OK, you're going to go for cornea, the second one down?

Andy and Gordon, you can confer a bit longer if you need to.

We know two, pupil and iris.

We don't seem to be able to make any sense of the top one

or the second one up from the bottom

so we're going to have to go with the bottom one

and we'll say iris.

Iris, for the bottom one?

So we have cornea and iris.

Kat and Claire have gone for cornea. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, how many people said cornea.

It's right.

Cornea, 58.

APPLAUSE

58 for cornea. Now then,

this will decide who stays and who goes.

Iris, you have gone for. Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

It's right, will it beat...?

Well, there we are.

81.

APPLAUSE

81. Which means, after three questions, Kat and Claire,

you are through to the final, 2-1. Very well done indeed.

Yeah. Unlucky, gents.

As you worked out, there were two killer answers there.

Pupil isn't one of them. Pupil would have scored you 92.

The second one from the bottom, it's a muscle,

that's the second word. It's the ciliary muscle.

Would have scored three. That's a tough one.

The top one, you might have worked out.

One of the more common eye complaints is conjunctivitis.

That's an inflammation of the conjunctiva.

That would have scored four points.

Very well done if you got all of those at home.

So, thanks very much, Richard.

The losing pair at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm afraid, Andy and Gordon.

They were really hard, those ones. Conjunctiva?

-I just couldn't see it.

-I know. Hey!

LAUGHTER

Yeah, conjunctiva. I didn't see that one either.

And as for the ciliary muscle, well, we've all learned something.

One of the muscles that helps shape the lens.

It helps give shape to the lens.

There's good news, Andy and Gordon, you have to remember.

We'll see you again next time! We'll have to look forward to that

and say goodbye to you now. Thanks, meanwhile, for playing.

-You've been brilliant. Great, great contestants.

-Thank you.

But, for Kat and Claire, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Kat and Claire.

You've just seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £4,250.

Well, you've made that look very, very easy.

Were you confident you might make it this far?

No, not at all. If sport and things had come up, we'd have been...

We were lucky, I think, with the questions.

The rules are simple. To win that money, you have to find

a pointless answer. We haven't had any pointless answers today.

You only have to find one now and you go home with the money.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category from these five options.

They are...

It's Katie Price, isn't it?

-LAUGHTER

-I don't think it's going to be Katie Price.

-Statistics seems weird. What can that be?

-It could be anything.

-Do you think Literary Detectives?

-I think Literary Detectives.

-OK. Yep, we'll go for that.

-Literary Detectives.

-Yep.

-OK.

Very best of luck. Let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name

as many Sherlock Holmes stories as they could.

Sherlock Holmes stories. Richard.

Yeah. We're looking for the title of any Sherlock Holmes

short story or novel written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

We're not looking for the names of collections of stories,

just any short story or novel written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Very best of luck.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £4,250

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

OK. We'll put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Right. I think there's The Letter In Scarlet. There's A Sign Of Four.

The Hound Of The Baskervilles which is a really obvious one.

Um, I'm trying to think.

-I don't know any.

-Do you not? Oh, no. Um...

-Good luck.

-I know. I read them when I was quite young.

-So The Letter in Scarlet.

-The Letter in Scarlet would be one to go for.

-What was the second one?

-The Sign Of Four.

-The Sign Of Four.

-The Hound Of The Baskervilles.

-Is a really obvious one.

I'm just trying to think if there's any other ones...

I'm trying to think of ones they've done recently.

Curses. Trying to think...

-Well, that's three.

-That is three.

-Have you watched it on television at all?

-Yeah, but I can't remember any.

-The titles of them?

-Yeah.

-Um...

-What about...

-Go on.

-No, no.

We've got 13 seconds.

-Get it out.

-No, no.

-Ten seconds left.

-I can't think of any others.

-OK. Those are our three then.

-OK. You've got your three.

-We've got our three.

-A little time to spare.

There we are. We were looking for Sherlock Holmes stories.

I now need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

-A Letter In Scarlet.

-A Letter In Scarlet.

-Hound Of The Baskervilles.

-Hound Of The Baskervilles.

-And... What did I say? The Sign Of Four?

-The Sign Of Four.

-The Sign Of Four.

-The Sign Of Four. OK. There are your three answers.

Of those three, which one do you want to put last?

Your most likely shot at a pointless answer.

-Perhaps A Letter In Scarlet...

-A Letter In Scarlet we'll put third.

-And your least likely?

-Hound Of The Baskervilles. Everyone knows that.

OK. Let's put those up on the board in that order.

We have got...

So, we were looking for Sherlock Holmes stories.

Your first answer,

the one you thought was least likely to be pointless,

was The Hound Of The Baskervilles.

You only have to find one pointless answer, remember, to win that £4,250.

Kat, what would you do with 4,250 quid?

-Well, I'd properly have to give Claire half.

-Yes.

If you don't tell her about it...

Oh, right. OK.

Well, I'm in the process of buying a house

-so it'll probably get swallowed up in all of that.

-Very handy. Claire.

Um, we've got relatives out in Australia, my husband's brother.

We've not met one of the nephews yet.

So we might fly out there. Or alternatively,

I'd like to buy a bass guitar for my husband cos he hasn't got one.

Very good indeed.

OK. Well, let's see. Hound Of The Baskervilles, is it right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Hound Of The Baskervilles?

Well, I think we knew it was right. No great surprise there.

Let's just see where it stops.

Oh. Right. Well, there we are.

APPLAUSE

So, unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

You only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

55, Hound Of The Baskervilles. We're looking for Sherlock Holmes stories.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, The Sign Of four.

This has to be right and it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

Let's see. Sign Of four. How many people said it?

Well, it's right. The Hound Of The Baskervilles stopped now on 55.

Sign Of Four still going down. If it continues to go down

all the way to zero,

you leave with... Ooooh.

APPLAUSE

Another answer that wasn't pointless,

but only six people knew The Sign Of Four.

-That's quite a famous one, I think.

-And you think A Letter In Scarlet...

-I don't know.

-It was the first one you said, actually.

-Yeah, I hope it's right.

OK. So, we were looking for Sherlock Holmes stories.

Your third and final answer was A Letter In Scarlet.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of £4,250.

A Letter In Scarlet.

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

-Oh, no.

-Oh, no.

-Oh, no.

-Rats.

I've made it up.

APPLAUSE

-It sounded incredibly plausible.

-Yeah, I've made it up.

-Wow.

-You should go and write some stories.

-Yeah!

-It sounds brilliant. Unfortunately,

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

So, I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £4,250

which rolls over to the next show. You've been brilliant contestants

and you do of course get to take home our fabulous Pointless trophy. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Yes, sorry. It's his very first novel and it was A Study In Scarlet.

A Study In Scarlet, the very first novel.

That would have scored you 9 points, so it wouldn't have been a pointless answer.

All the pointless answers are short stories.

Let's take a look at some of them now.

The Adventure Of The Abbey Grange, the 1904 short story.

The Adventure Of The Creeping Man. The Adventure Of The Devil's Foot.

The Adventure Of The Empty House, the first short story after

he returns from a supposed death at the Reichenbach Falls.

A very early short story, The Adventure Of The Engineer's thumb.

The Adventure Of The Red Circle.

The Adventure Of The Second Stain. The Adventure Of The Sussex Vampire. Conan Doyle retired to Sussex,

as did Sherlock Holmes, to become a beekeeper.

And The Adventure Of The Veiled Lodger.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

Thanks, Richard. Unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Kat and Claire.

It's been great having you on the show.

Thank you both so much for playing. Brilliant contestants.

APPLAUSE

Nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over, which means

on the next show, we will be playing for £5,250.

APPLAUSE

-Join us then to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd