Episode 13 Pointless

Thank you. I'm Alexander Armstrong. This is Pointless, where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

-Couple number one.

-I'm Tom. This is my daughter Emma. We're from Banbury in Oxfordshire.

-Couple number two.

-I'm Janice. This is my son Keith. We're from Colchester.

-Couple number three.

-My name's James. This is my friend Phil. We're from Chippenham.

-And our fourth and final couple.

-This is Alan and I'm Pam. We're married and from Glasgow.

These, ladies and gentlemen, are our contestants.

Thanks all of you. We'll find out more about you through the show.

There's only one person left. He's never known the bliss of ignorance.

-It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

-Hiya! Hello.

-Good afternoon.

-How are you?

-I'm very well. Are you?

-Very well.

-That last show, we had a very tight Head to Head.

-Very close fought.

Pam and Alan were the losers in it.

They'll be very tough to beat. We've got two other returning pairs.

-They'll want to go a lot further.

-And what about this jackpot?

-The jackpot continues to rise. It's pretty big now, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Pam and Alan did well last time and this is how things fall -

question one for them today will also be very, very handy.

-Oh!

-Yeah.

-Oh!

-Yeah.

-OK. Looking forward to that.

-Well, you don't have long to wait.

-It's Round One.

It's 15-20 seconds away.

If I wasn't talking now, we'd probably have got to it!

All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find those answers they couldn't get.

Everybody wants a pointless answer that none of them gave. That adds £250 to the jackpot.

Sandra and Cat didn't win it last time, so we add another £1,000,

so today's jackpot starts off at £17,000!

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, I'll take an answer from each of you and there's no conferring.

The pair with the highest score will be eliminated.

OK, our first category today is... It's People. People.

Decide who's going first and who's second.

Whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, the question concerns...

Great Scots. There we go. Great Scots, Richard.

We'll give you clues to the identities of seven famous people born in Scotland.

Give us a nice, obscure answer and you'll score fewer points. An incorrect answer scores 100.

There's going to be 14 in all.

Thanks very much. So we are looking for these great Scots described in the clues. And we have got...

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read those all again.

-Now, Emma, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Lovely to have you here with your dad.

-Lovely to be here.

-What do you do, Emma?

-I'm a teaching assistant.

-OK.

-In all spheres or...?

-Primary school ages 6-7.

-6-7.

-Yes.

-Very good. You cover all subjects?

-I help with anything at all that the teacher needs help with.

-This is very good.

-And having lots of fun.

-What do you do in your spare time?

-I do something called geocaching.

-I know about geocaching. I've never done it.

-It's fantastic.

-Like treasure hunting.

-A big worldwide treasure hunt.

-Others do it as well?

-It sounds very grand, but the prizes are a little small.

-OK. What's the biggest prize you've won?

-A plastic frog?

-They are small, aren't they?

-Wow.

-But the kids love it. My kids.

Very good. Now then, Emma, what do you make of this subject?

Em...

Yes, really not my greatest field of knowledge, but I think I know two up there.

It's just trying to work out which is going to be the least obvious.

I think probably I'll have to go for Glasgow-born comedian, Billy Connolly.

Billy Connolly. The Big Yin. Let's see if that's right and how many people knew that answer.

Absolutely right.

48.

That's really not bad.

-48 for Billy Connolly.

-Good answer.

The Big Yin, which translates as The Big One. He's always streaking in his documentaries.

-He even streaked in the Arctic Circle.

-Yeah.

OK, Janice, welcome back to the show. Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

This is your and Keith's second and final chance to do it. Remind us what happened last time.

We went out. Wasn't any good.

Which was the round that did it?

-It was the, em...

-It was the spies. Spy books, spy films, spy characters.

-That's right. We had James Bond.

-Yeah, I took a stab in the dark and got it completely wrong.

Well, you are back again. And this is a better board, isn't it? A better subject?

-Oh...

-Really?

-Yeah.

I did know... I know two, I think. I'm going to go for Goldfinger with Sean Connery.

Janice said Connery played Bond in Goldfinger. Is that right? How many people said that?

It's right.

75!

Yes, born in Edinburgh. It's a big score, isn't it?

-His jobs included bricklaying and coffin polishing.

-Thanks. Now, Philip, hello to you.

-Tell us what happened last time.

-It was all my fault. I can't pass the buck. I got 100

-on the mountain range question.

-Yeah, you picked Switzerland,

-but the mountain range wasn't on the board.

-I talked myself out of an answer that would have done it.

-Yeah, you reasoned into a brilliant answer...

-Then panicked and said Switzerland.

That's not going to happen. You're back. This time you can relax

and enjoy plucking a relatively low-scoring answer off this board.

I think... I know the two that have gone. I'll go for the bottom one

-and hope it's Gerard Butler.

-Gerard Butler says Philip.

Is that right? How many people said it?

Absolutely right. 48's our best score so far.

You've smashed through that.

Oh, five!

There we go.

Five for Gerard Butler.

Switzerland is a thing of distant memory now. Richard?

Much better, Philip. Born in Paisley and moved to Montreal with his family when they were young.

He likes to call himself Gerry because Americans say Ger-ARD.

-He doesn't like it.

-You wouldn't.

-Ger-ARD Butler.

-Rich-ARD Osman.

-Oh, that's not bad.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Rich-ARD?

-Yeah, maybe not.

-Sounds like it's burnt.

LAUGHTER

OK, we are looking for the Scottish people described by these clues.

Pam, you're the last person to get this board. I really hope,

-geographically speaking, you have some good answers.

-I know two of the remaining four.

Widely credited as inventor of the telephone I believe is Alexander Graham Bell.

But I'm going to go for the architect famously associated with Art Nouveau

-as Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

-Rennie Mackintosh says Pam.

Sounds good to me. Is that right? How many said it?

Absolutely right.

11. Very, very well done, Pam. That's a lovely score.

Born in Glasgow. He's on the Clydesdale Bank £100 note, Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

-Wow. Imagine that.

-Let's fill in the rest.

Widely credited as inventor of the telephone. You're right, it's Alexander Graham Bell.

Would have scored 44 points.

-The author of The Thirty-Nine Steps.

-John Buchan.

-Absolutely right. Would have scored 21.

And the best answer is the inventor of the vacuum flask. James Dewar. Very well done if you knew that.

Two of 100 people knew it.

OK, let's take a look at the scores. Five, very much the best score. Philip, very well done indeed.

Up to 11 and Pam and Alan.

Up to 48 for Emma and Tom. And then up to 75, Janice and Keith.

A touch of deja vu here. You'll need a really good, low-scoring answer to keep you in the game.

We'll come back down the line now. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put seven more famous Scots on the board and here they are. We have got...

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. We're looking for the great Scots described there.

Alan, you're going to try to find a really low-scoring one. I think you can do this.

I could, but my mind's gone blank. I really should know at least six out of the seven.

You're on 11. Lovely low score there from Pam.

The high scorers are on 75 so if you can score 63 or less,

you are through to the second round.

There's a couple where the first names are not coming to me at the moment.

-So I'll have to go with poet and author who wrote Auld Lang Syne being Robert Burns.

-Robbie Burns.

OK, here comes your red line.

If he gets you below that red line, he'll see you into the next round.

How many people said that? And is it right?

Absolutely right.

Well done. You're through.

23.

Not a bad answer at all. 34 your total.

Good work, Alan. You're a strong pair again. He had 12 children.

In 2009, chosen by a public vote as the greatest Scot of all time.

-Now, James, how brilliant was Philip?

-Redeemed himself fully. Amazing.

All is forgiven. You're suddenly strong contenders for that jackpot.

-How long have you two known each other?

-We've been friends since we were eight.

-We met at a football club.

-Who's the better player?

-Phil, probably. Just about, just about.

-Good job you said that.

-He's done well.

He has. For that 5 points, you can say that.

OK, I'll remind you of the context. Keith and Janice are on 75. You're on 5.

A score of 69 or less sees you comfortably into the next round. How's the board looking?

I think I know the top two, but I'm going to try the top one if I could.

I believe that the top one is the late Colin McRae.

Colin McRae you are saying. The World Rally Champion.

Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

Colin McRae.

Absolutely right.

Yep. You're through.

27.

32 your total.

Lowest total of the round.

Very well played, James. In 1995 he became the youngest person ever to win, aged 27.

-Sadly missed, Colin McRae.

-OK now,

Keith, how does the board look to you?

Well, I was going to say the top one and I only know one,

which is not really too clever. So it's not looking great. I only know the tennis player.

That is Andy Murray, but the world and his wife will know that.

OK, Andy Murray you are naming as the tennis player who won the men's singles at the 2012 US Open.

There's no red line for you as you're the high scorers.

Is it right? How many said it?

It is right.

60.

That takes your total up to 135. You are still in the game.

-Wasn't it wonderful when he won that title?

-Amazing.

-Brilliant. Five sets over Djokovic.

And won the Olympics. He'd been so close so many times.

-Yeah.

-I don't have a joke about that. I just thought it was lovely.

Now then, Tom, how's it looking?

Most of my answers have gone, but I think I need to take a punt.

Engineer who pioneered television is Logie Baird.

Logie Baird. Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Logie Baird.

Absolutely right. And you are through. Very well done, Tom.

44 for Logie Baird.

Takes your total up to 92.

I love Logie Baird, but his assistant Boo Boo was... was overlooked.

-The man responsible for the greatest invention of the 20th century.

-Without which we'd have no job.

-Well, you certainly wouldn't.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, he scores 44 points. The philosopher and economist is...

-Adam Smith.

-Absolutely right. 9 points. Author and creator of Peter Pan...

-JM Barrie.

-James Barrie.

-Would have scored 23. And the inventor of the pneumatic tyre?

-Can I say Dunlop?

-Is that your answer?

-A shot in the dark.

-John Dunlop. Absolutely right.

-15 points. Best answer was Adam Smith.

-Very good.

-They've done some good things, the Scots.

-They have. Certainly Robert Burns, a great Scot.

-The greatest? Greatest equal.

-With...?

Adam Smith, James Barrie, John Logie Baird, John Dunlop, Andy Murray, Colin McRae and...BA Robertson.

That is niche.

Thanks, Richard. So the losing pair with their high score of 135 is Keith and Janice.

-Oh, dear. Oh, dear. It was Round Two last time.

-I know.

-Never mind.

Well, it's tough. It's a tough desk, that one.

-It is. The pressure.

-Nothing wrong with your answers. Both right, but both high scorers.

So this is where we have to say goodbye, but thank you for playing. It's been lovely having you.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

There's only room for two pairs in our Head to Head, so sadly another pair will have to leave us

at the end of this round. Tom and Emma,

these two returning pairs had very low scores.

34 and 32, respectively. If you want to stick around, you have to score low.

That's my advice. OK, our category for Round Two is...

TV.

TV. Very Logie Baird-themed, isn't it?

Can you all decide who is going to go first and who's going second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many 2012 Strictly Come Dancing dancers as they could.

-Richard?

-We're looking for any of the participants in the 2012 series of Strictly Come Dancing,

any of the 14 celebrities or 14 professional dancers announced on the launch programme.

Any of those 28 names, please. First names and surnames.

Very best of luck. Some big Strictly fans at home will try for all 28.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, Tom,

in your busy schedule do you find time of a Saturday evening to watch Strictly?

-Yeah, I love Strictly.

-This is very good news.

-Very good news!

Cos if you didn't...

-I think I have to go for the first one out, which was Johnny Ball.

-Johnny Ball.

Such a shame he was out first. Anyway, is that right? And how many people said Johnny Ball?

22.

Tom, if you'd had to think of a number, would it be as low as that?

-No.

-That was a good score. 22.

The oldest competitor thus far. Paul Daniels held the record at 72.

-Johnny Ball is 74.

-Really?

-He looks good for that, doesn't he?

-He does.

-His daughter, Zoe, presents Strictly: It Takes Two.

-Now, James,

-are you a Strictly fan?

-Actually, I am.

Well, that secret's out now. All your class watching.

-Oh, yeah.

-Yeah.

That's a good point.

I'll say Flavia Cacace.

Flavia Cacace.

-I hope I pronounced it right!

-I'm really impressed. Cacace.

Let's see if it's right and how many said it.

It's right.

22 our best score.

Oh, down it goes. Very well done indeed!

Two!

James...

Very well done, indeed. Good moves, too.

-Two for Flavia Cacace.

-You can't even pretend you only watch occasionally now

with that quality of answer. Famously, she danced with Russell Grant in 2011, didn't she?

-Do you remember?

-It's scorched onto my retina.

-Now then, Pam, are you a Strictly watcher?

-Occasionally, when I get the chance,

-after I put down the kids.

-Mm-hm.

So I've gone a blank, so I'm just going to go with Victoria Pendleton.

Victoria Pendleton says Pam. How many of our 100 people said Victoria Pendleton?

It's right.

24.

24.

A gold and silver medallist at the London 2012 Olympics.

She had terrible trouble with her cha-cha-cha in the first episode, but it's cleared up, I think.

Yes, thank goodness.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

Well, James and Philip couldn't be looking stronger. A fabulous low score there.

This time it's James' turn to get a nice low score.

Then up to 22 where we find Tom and Emma. Add those together to get 24,

which is where we find Pam and Alan.

You're not way out in front, Alan, but a low score would be good.

We'll come back down the line. Could the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're looking for the participants from the 2012 series of Strictly Come Dancing.

-Alan, you'll try to find the lowest-scoring one you can.

-Not an ideal subject matter.

-Are you going to make up two names and put them together?

-Possibly.

But I'll avoid that and go for one of the dancers.

I'm hoping Anton du Beke.

Anton du Beke. There's no red line for you as you are the high scorers.

Is it right? How many people said it?

It's right.

Oh, it's not that huge. 13.

Not bad, as it turns out, Alan.

Takes your total up to 37.

Not bad at all, Alan. The dancers scoring less than the celebrities.

He's been there since the first series. He partnered Ann Widdecombe.

-Now then, Philip, are you vaguely aware of who's in the line-up?

-Yes.

-I can get a few.

-OK. The high scorers are Alan and Pam on 37. You're on 2.

A score of 34 or less sees you into the Head to Head.

Just think how important that is. We have a jackpot of £17,000.

OK, I know one of the dancers, but I'm not sure if she's still on it, so I'll go for a celebrity.

-Michael Vaughan.

-Michael Vaughan says Philip. Here is your red line.

Below that, you are through to the Head to Head.

Is Michael Vaughan right? How many said it?

It is right.

You've done it. Very well done.

Five!

Wow.

Five for Michael Vaughan takes your total up to seven.

That's a great low score.

He captained the England side to the historic Ashes win in 2005.

Now, Emma, it's crunch time. The high scorers at the moment are Alan and Pam on 37.

You're on 22. 14 or less is required.

Well, Michael Vaughan scored five.

I'm going to have to go for one that I think isn't low-scoring, but it's the only one I know.

-That's Dani Harmer.

-Good answer, I would say.

There's your red line. If Dani Harmer gets you below that red line,

-you are through. It could be very exciting. Dani Harmer. Tracy Beaker to you and me.

-Yes.

Let's see if that's right. How many said it?

It's absolutely right.

Is it going to be below 14?

Yes, it is! Very well done. Six.

Very, very well done, indeed, Emma.

Superb answering skills there. 28 your total and you are through to the Head to Head.

-Yes, Dani Harmer. She's been on this show.

-She has.

She was very good. She partnered Vincent Simone on Strictly.

He would have scored you 3 points.

There are a couple of pointless answers. Both professional dancers.

Robin Windsor was a pointless answer. He dances with Lisa Riley.

And Karen Hauer, a new dancer in 2012, who danced with Nicky Byrne. She was a pointless answer as well.

I'll give you some other low scorers. Mostly the professionals.

Kristina scored one, as did Natalie. Aliona scored two, Artem scored two, as would Pasha and Flavia.

Vincent three, Michael Vaughan five, Erin Boag five, Nicky Byrne five, Louis Smith six.

Ola Jordan and James Jordan, Richard Arnold and Colin Salmon, all seven. Fern Britton and Sid Owen, 15.

Jerry Hall, 21. And here are the three biggest. Johnny Ball was 22.

Victoria Pendleton was 24.

And right at the top is Lisa Riley. So Lisa Riley top of the shop

-and her partner, Robin Windsor, a pointless answer.

-Thank you.

So at the end of Round Two, the losing pair I'm afraid are Alan and Pam.

That's not that high a score! It's a brilliant score,

but you were underscored, so to speak, by Emma and Tom. Great answer there from Emma

in the dying moments of that round. But Alan and Pam, this is where we say goodbye.

-Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

But for the two remaining pairs, they're one step closer to the final

and a chance of taking home that massive jackpot as we enter the Head to Head.

Congratulations, Philip and James, Tom and Emma. You are one round from the final

and the chance to play for the jackpot, which stands at £17,000!

Now only one pair can play for that money. To decide which pair it'll be, you now go head to head.

The big difference is you are now allowed to confer. The first pair to win two questions go through.

Philip and James, what a turnaround!

You're our golden pair. The lowest scorers in the whole show.

Yes, it feels good. Better than the last time, when I was behind there, crying.

-It feels good.

-Well, Tom and Emma, first time on the show and straight through to the Head to Head.

-Didn't expect that.

-Brilliant.

-Now you can put your heads together.

Very exciting. Best of luck. Let's play the Head to Head.

OK, here's your first question and it concerns...

Invasive Species.

Invasive Species.

-I don't need to explain anything more, do I?

-No.

-No.

We're about to show you five species of animal that have come into the UK and are detrimental to our wildlife.

Five animals from abroad detrimental to British wildlife. Just tell us the species

that each belongs to. What are these animals?

Thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five invasive species. And we have got...

There. Philip and James, you've played best so far, so you go first.

Em, we're going to go for...

A. Ruddy duck.

-LAUGHTER

-Ruddy duck.

Tom and Emma, talk us through it. Fill in all the blanks.

-Em...

-I think B is signal crayfish, isn't it?

-Yes.

Edible dormouse.

American mink.

And Colorado beetle. Which one?

I think mink, maybe. People might think that's a ferret.

Yes, D, American mink, please.

D, American mink. So we have ruddy duck and we have American mink.

Philip and James, ruddy duck. Is that right? If it is, how many of our 100 people said it?

It's right.

73.

Tom and Emma have gone for American mink, D. American mink.

Is that right? How many people said it?

It's absolutely right. Will it beat 73? Yes, it will.

By quite a long chalk. Look at that. 12.

Very well done, Tom and Emma. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Well played, Tom and Emma. You must be an awesome teaching assistant.

Very impressive. Ruddy duck.

It is a signal crayfish. That would have scored 16 points.

It's an edible dormouse.

Aww. It would have scored 20. Edible dormouse.

-Like Nando's for people with small appetites.

-Yeah.

And E is a big scorer. It's the Colorado beetle.

It would have scored 91 points. Probably the most famous, the Colorado beetle.

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Philip and James, you have to win this or you're out of the game.

It concerns... Silent Movie Stars.

-Silent movie stars. Richard?

-We'll show you five anagrams of stars who first became famous

-in the silent movie era. Unscramble them and pick the best.

-OK, thanks.

Let's reveal our five anagrams of silent movie stars.

I'll read those all again.

OK, Tom and Emma...

Don't really know any of those! Maybe one.

-Shall we go for the bottom one?

-Shall we? The only one that we can work out. Go on.

-Charlie Chaplin.

-The bottom one.

-Chinchilla Pear, Charlie Chaplin say Tom and Emma.

-Philip and James, talk us through the rest of the board.

-I'd love to.

I think that's what we'll go for.

I can only think of one other silent movie star.

We're going to have to go for it.

I don't think it even spells it out, but the only other silent movie star is Marcel Marceau.

-And that's the top one.

-You're saying Marcel Marceau for the top one.

OK. So we have Charlie Chaplin and Marcel Marceau.

Tom and Emma went Charlie Chaplin for Chinchilla Pear. Is that right? And how many people said it?

It's right.

37.

So, yes, you have said Marcel Marceau for Ethical Reminder.

Is it right? How many said it?

Oh, bad luck. Really, really bad luck.

That was a very, very tough board. But congratulations, Tom and Emma, you are through to the final, 2-0.

-That was a very tough board. Got any of the others?

-One.

-Which?

-Stan Laurel for Lunar Tales.

-Absolutely right.

Would have scored 13 points. Pick From Yard - Mary Pickford.

Would have scored you 17.

Unload Over Plinth. I couldn't see the anagram. It's Rudolph Valentino.

It would have scored one point.

Very well done if you said that. And at the top, not just known for silent movies, Marlene Dietrich.

-AUDIENCE GROAN

-Quite. Quite.

And that's a pointless answer. Very well done if you got that. If you got all five, very impressive.

My sympathies, Philip and James. That was a really tough board.

At the end of our Head to Head round, we're saying goodbye to you. A really good show from you today.

I'm so sorry it ended this way,

but you've been brilliant contestants. Philip and James, thanks so much.

But for Tom and Emma it's time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Tom and Emma. You fought off all the competition to win our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot, which stands at £17,000.

Well, you have done so well. We've had great Scots, we've had Strictly,

we've had invasive species, silent movie stars.

You were lagging behind, then a sudden turn of speed.

Brilliant. What would you like to see in this last round? They're always difficult.

-What would be a category you'd be really comfortable with?

-From my point of view...dogs.

-Dogs, yes. Animals.

-Dogs.

-Yeah, animals.

-Music, maybe.

-Music, yeah.

-We've got a good range.

-OK, the rules are very simple.

All you need to win that money is to find a pointless answer.

Do that and you'll go home with that £17,000. First, choose a category from five options.

Anything grab you there?

Probably Contemporary Fiction.

-Let's give that a go.

-OK, Contemporary Fiction.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many of the works of Jeffrey Archer as they could.

-Richard?

-We're looking for any work of fiction by Jeffrey Archer including novels, novellas,

children's books, but not his prison diaries or anything he's edited of anthologies of other people.

Any of his personal works of fiction. Very, very best of luck.

You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers. Just one has to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

-There they are. Your time starts now.

-What are you thinking? I know nothing.

-Oh, thank you(!)

-Good start!

Do you know any? I don't know any of his titles at all.

-He's written...

-My mind has gone completely blank.

He must have... I don't know what sort of books he writes.

-We have to make something up.

-It's fiction.

-Yes!

I don't know what sort of... I wouldn't have a clue of what titles he has.

I do know. They're in the back here. They're in the back here somewhere.

-They won't come forward.

-No.

-Just make some up.

-What do you want to make up, then?

-Something to do with dogs? Does he write about dogs?

-No, I don't think he does, unfortunately.

-I can see one book cover...

-10 seconds left.

-Go on.

-No, I can't think what it is.

-No, I can't.

-No.

-I do know...

-Come on, think.

-Think, think.

-OK, time is up.

We were looking for works of Jeffrey Archer. I need three answers from you. Here's fun.

-Em...

-Go on.

-London's Pride.

-London's Pride.

-I don't know why I'm saying that.

-That'll do.

-The Mind of Man.

-Oh!

-Oh...

-That's a good title.

Yeah, The Mind of Man. Oh, The Mind of Man.

-Mine was London Pride.

-It's a plant!

-Maybe it's a book as well, by Jeffrey Archer.

-That'd be nice.

And...

-A Dog's Day.

-Got to have a dog in there somewhere!

-And A Dog's Day.

-Going downhill now.

OK, London Pride...

The Mind of Man.

-And A Dog's Day. Of those three...

-LAUGHTER

..which do you think is your best chance of a pointless answer?

-The Mind of Man, surely!

-I like The Mind of Man a lot.

That's going third. Should we put A Dog's Day first?

-I think so.

-And then London Pride in the middle. We'll pop those up on the board.

-Oh, dear.

-And here they are.

We're looking for the works of Jeffrey Archer. A Dog's Day is your least confident answer.

If you find a pointless answer, you will win the jackpot of £17,000.

Let's see if A Dog's Day is right.

-Oh!

-Really?!

-Alas...

-Oh, it should have been.

-..not a pointless answer.

Let's say The Mind of Man, which is your third answer, somebody's got to have written that, surely.

What if that won you £17,000? What would you go and do with that?

-Once we've picked ourselves up off the floor?

-Yeah.

We were hoping, as a family to go to Disney in Florida.

Anything else, Tom?

I've got a camper van. I'd like to buy a little bit bigger camper van.

You never know. Let's not write these two books off. London's Pride.

-If someone hasn't written London's Pride, I'll be very surprised.

-I might write it.

Let's see if it happens to be right. Maybe it is and nobody said it. Let's find out.

Oh, bad luck!

-Dear, oh, dear.

-OK, everything is now riding on The Mind of Man.

We're looking for the works of Jeffrey Archer. You said it's your best shot at a pointless answer.

To win the jackpot of £17,000, let's see The Mind of Man.

Is it right?

Oh, bad luck! Ah, well.

-I'm sorry.

-APPLAUSE

-It's hard to think.

-I'm sorry we couldn't find you

a category that suited you better, but you didn't manage to find that pointless answer.

You won't be surprised to hear you aren't winning today's jackpot of £17,000, which rolls over,

but you have been brilliant contestants. You've done so well on your only appearance.

-You do take home a Pointless trophy, so very well done.

-Thank you.

Yeah, no jackpot I'm afraid, but I'd be very surprised if you don't get headhunted by publishers

with your obvious skills for titling thrillers. Some of the big scorers were Kane and Abel,

First Among Equals. There are nine pointless answers.

His first collection of short stories, A Quiver Full Of Arrows,

his first play Beyond Reasonable Doubt, a children's book By Royal Appointment,

In The Eye Of The Beholder, The Accused, a play where the audience acted as the jury,

The First Miracle, To Cut A Long Story Short

and the two children's books - Willy and the Killer Kipper and Willy Visits The Square World.

Well done if you said any of those.

Thank you, Richard. We have to say goodbye, but it was great having you on. Brilliant contestants.

So Tom and Emma didn't win our jackpot, so it rolls over to the next show when it will be £18,000.

-Join us then. Meanwhile, goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd