Episode 24 Pointless

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless -

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Let's meet today's players.

APPLAUSE

Couple number one.

Hi, I'm James. This is my brother-in-law, Hugh,

and we are from Glasgow.

-Couple number two.

-Hello, my name is Jonny. This Charlie.

We are housemates and friends from Leicester.

-Couple number three.

-Hello, my name is Luke. This is Kate.

We're friends and we're from Bristol.

-And couple number four.

-Hi, I'm Emma. This is Simon.

We are friends and work colleagues and we're from Leicester.

And these, ladies and gentlemen, are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He is a man who can walk into any boozer in the country

and strike fear into their pub quiz teams.

Because he always cheats.

It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

APPLAUSE

-Not true.

-Of course it's not true. Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-We have gone double Leicester.

-Yeah.

-Can you believe it?

We are 50% Leicester. Fully 50%. How about that?

Statistically, that is significant.

The odds on a Leicester victory now...

I'm going to say evens.

We found out last time, didn't we, that...

We had Hugh and James on last time, we also had Simon and Emma,

but Hugh and James got all the way to the head-to-head.

Terrific head-to-head as well, wasn't it? It was an absolute belter.

Those guys will be very difficult to beat.

But we found it James is a professional gambler.

-Yeah.

-That's a job, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

-That is a job.

He's got the greyhound that he races as well. He's got his own greyhound.

You're going to lose, surely.

Greyhounds are fast.

LAUGHTER

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before

the show. Our contestants here need to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

What everyone is trying to do is find a pointless answer

that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, Nicky and Paul didn't win the jackpot last time,

so we add another £1,000 to that.

So, today's jackpot starts off at a very respectable...

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone is ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

Now, in this round, I'll take an answer from each of you,

but there is no conferring.

Whichever player has the highest score at the end

will be eliminated, so try and make sure, obviously, that's not you.

Our first category today is...

It's the '80s. Can you all decide in your pairs

who is going first and who's going second?

And whoever is going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

'80s Films, Richard.

On each pass, we are going to give you the names of seven actors

and a character they played in a 1980s film.

We need you to tell us the first time that character appeared in

any film in the 1980s, please.

So, which film did these actors play these characters in, please?

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home.

OK, thanks very much.

So, we're looking for the films in which these actors played

these characters for the first time.

And we have got, on our first board...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Seven actors and their characters in brackets.

All you need to do is supply the name of the film in which

they first played those characters. James, great to have you back

on the show. You did very well last time, as Richard said.

Through to the head-to-head. Very tough head-to-head. Very tight.

Tight contest, that one.

OK, how are you feeling about these films from the '80s.

Yeah, some more obvious than others.

I'm just trying to go for what's not the most completely obvious one,

so I'm going to take a guess at one.

I'm going to guess Glenn Close, Teddy Barnes

and Fatal Attraction.

Fatal Attraction, says James for Glenn Close.

Let's see if he's right. How many people said it, if it is?

Fatal Attraction.

I wasn't sure. I took a chance.

-Fatal decision.

-Yeah.

I'm afraid that scores the maximum of 100 points. An incorrect answer.

-I'm sorry, James. Richard.

-Sorry, James.

It might not be the only 100 in this round.

She plays Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction.

-Now, then, Jonny.

-Hello.

Hello to you. Welcome to the show. Great to have you here.

-What you do, Jonny?

-I work for the police.

I'm a senior analyst in Leicestershire Police.

What does that mean? What do you do as a senior analyst?

Basically, I analyse crime trends, where crimes are occurring

-and help to deploy our officers.

-You put the pins in the map?

-Basically, yes.

-Brilliant. Good stuff.

What do you do when you're not doing that?

I do a lot of running. I have run half marathons and marathons

and I also play rugby.

OK, Jonny, how do you feel about this?

Were you pleased with this as a subject when it came up?

Not great, not great.

I'm torn between one answer on the board and two films, really,

and it could be one of either.

I'm going to say

Eddie Murphy, Lethal Weapon.

Eddie Murphy, Lethal Weapon.

Lethal Weapon, says Jonny. Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many people said, Lethal Weapon, for Eddie Murphy.

This is turning into quite a high-scoring round,

this one, isn't it?

OK, an incorrect answer. Another one.

That scores you 100 points.

James has company. No longer lonely at the top. Richard.

Jonny, of course, one of many contestants today

who was born in the '80s.

So... Actually, it's not an excuse.

-We've all seen lots of these films. It's sort of an excuse.

-Kind of.

He's not in Lethal Weapon at all, Eddie Murphy.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Kate.

-Hello.

-Hello and welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

-What do you do, Kate?

-I'm a veterinary nurse.

-Are animals a passion of yours?

-Yes.

-Do you have animals of your own?

I do, I have quite a few. I've got a little menagerie.

I got two dogs, two cats, two rabbits and two chickens.

-It's a bit of a sort of Noah thing going on.

-I like two of each.

-Two of each.

-Yeah, the household ticks along better

-if there's only two of each.

-Right. So, Kate, '80s Films.

I was quite pleased when this came up, because I love the '80s.

So did I and then I saw that board.

Some of them, I don't know.

I'm going to go for Eddie Murphy,

Beverly Hills Cop.

Beverly Hills Cop. Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

Actually, I love the way that James and Jonny,

both with their 100s right in front of them,

nodded vigorously at Beverly Hills Cop there.

Let's see if it's right, shall we?

And if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

APPLAUSE

Nothing wrong with 36, Kate.

Beverly Hills Cop. Absolutely right.

That's what a correct answer looks like. There were two sequels as well,

both starring Eddie Murphy.

And the theme tune, which was brilliant, was a number two hit.

Harold Faltermeyer.

And then it went to number one with Crazy Frog.

-Crazy Frog's version was a much bigger hit.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Simon.

-Hello.

-Simon, hello and welcome back.

Welcome back to the show. You were on last time.

Everyone gets two chances, of course,

to reach the Pointless final. This is Simon and Emma's second chance.

What happened last time?

Well, last time we had a terrible, terrible first round. We scored 200.

Do you know, we had Words Ending In EAR?

And we made some up.

Quite often, what happens is people score quite high,

they land on words that are quite popular and score quite high.

People they seldom go out with 100 points each

-in those Words Ending In rounds. But never mind.

-Never mind.

Remember, we are looking for the films in which these actors

played these characters for the first time.

-Do you want to take us through the board?

-Well, I can go through some.

Harrison Ford, Rick Deckard is Blade Runner.

Linda Hamilton, Sarah Connor is The Terminator.

I don't know Glenn Close.

Whoopi Goldberg, I'd guess, is Sister Act.

Matthew Broderick, I presume, is in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

I don't know Tom Hanks,

so I will say Harrison Ford as Rick Deckard in Blade Runner.

Harrison Ford, Blade Runner, says Simon.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

Absolutely right. 36 is our best score so far.

Are you going to go through that?

Yes, you are.

Wow, 9.

APPLAUSE

Very, very well done indeed, Simon. 9 for Blade Runner.

-Well done, Simon. That's more like it.

-That is a bit more like it.

Yeah, last year, SFX Magazine voted Blade Runner the best

sci-fi, horror or fantasy movie of all time. Harrison Ford was also

in the number two film, which was Empire Strikes Back.

Let's go through the rest of this board. Simon was right about

Linda Hamilton. She played Sarah Connor. The first film

she was in is The Terminator.

It would have scored 49 points, so it's a big score.

Whoopi Goldberg - it's not Sister Act, actually.

I imagine many people would say that. It was The Color Purple.

It would have scored 3 points, so very good answer.

Matthew Broderick is Ferris Bueller, the clue is there,

in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 37 points.

Tom Hanks. Do you know this one? Tom Hanks as Josh Baskin.

One of his first films when he was... I was going to say when he was

-big over here. But that's too much of a clue.

-Oh, there we are. Big.

Big. Absolutely. It would have scored 11.

And Glenn Close as Teddy Barnes is a pointless answer.

It wasn't Fatal Attraction. It was Jagged Edge.

Very well done if you said that.

Very good. We're halfway through

the round. Let's take a look at the scores as they stand. 9, Simon.

Best score of the pass. Simon and Emma looking very strong there.

Then up to 36 where we find Kate and Luke.

Then up to 100. Yes,

this is where Jonny and Charlie and James and Hugh are.

We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players, please, take their places at the podium?

OK, we are going to put seven more actors on the board

with their characters. And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Remember, we are looking for the films in which

these actors first played these characters.

And, Emma, we come to you.

Well, I know some of them.

I think I have learned the hard way to maybe play it a bit safe as well.

Yeah, well,

the high-scorers are on 100. You're on 9. So a long way ahead.

-If you can score 90 or less, you are in the next round.

-OK.

I'm going to go with Marty McFly from Back To The Future.

Back To The Future, says Emma for Marty McFly. Here is your red line.

Lovely and high. If you can get below that,

you are through to the next round. Marty McFly,

Back To The Future. Is it right?

Of course it's right. And you're through. Well done.

APPLAUSE

71, your total.

Well done, Emma. From 1985, the first Back To The Future.

There were two sequels to that.

That character, the Michael J Fox character,

-is named after the English boy band McFly.

-That's right.

Due to a time-travelling incident.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Luke.

-Hello.

-Hello to you. Welcome to the show. What do you do?

I'm a warehouseman in a large retail chain.

Very good. What you get up to when you're not doing that?

I enjoy sports. I play football - goalkeeper.

-And I too read, watch movies, go out for walks.

-Very good.

OK, you're on 36. The high-scorers

on 100 are Hugh and James and Charlie and Jonny.

If you can score yourself 63 or less, you are in Round Two.

Rightio.

I think I knew a few of them.

I'm going to play it relatively straight

and go for Arnold Schwarzenegger,

John Matrix,

Commando.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Commando, says Luke.

Here is your red line.

Below that, Round Two. Let's see if Commando is right

and, if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

Through you go. Very well done.

Oh, 6.

APPLAUSE

Great answer. 42, your total.

-Well played, Luke. That's a very good answer, isn't it?

-Yeah.

He was in a lot of films in the '80s.

It's not even one you can just pluck out of the air.

OK, now then, Charlie,

we have a bit of a tussle on our hands.

-We do.

-Yes.

It's you v Hugh. The you-Hugh tussle.

-Charlie, great shirt, by the way.

-It's fantastic,

-thank you very much.

-No, it's brilliant. Thank you.

-It is its first airing for 10 years.

-Wow.

I dug it out especially for yourselves and the audience at home.

Was it between that and what?

This and possibly nudity,

which would be the only less embarrassing thing,

-I would think.

-I'll tell you what,

it has kept its colour beautifully.

I'm going to say that. Now, Charlie,

-what do you do?

-I am a PhD student.

-What are you studying?

-I am a historian.

-Are you? Very good.

-What particular era?

-I am looking at

modern British history.

Oh, particularly seen through cinema in the 1980s.

Sadly not. Although I know a few of those.

-It is a toss-up between, I think, two or three.

-OK.

So,

I'm going to say

Sigourney Weaver was Dana Barrett in Ghostbusters.

Ghostbusters.

Ghostbusters for Sigourney Weaver.

Let's see if that's right and,

if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Ghostbusters.

There is no red line for you, your joint high-scorers.

It's right.

Eight. Very well done indeed.

Eight. Taking your total up to 108.

-Making Hugh a little bit scared, I think, there. Richard.

-Very good.

She was in a number of iconic films in the '80s, so, again,

had to know the right one there. 8 points.

It's going to be interesting now,

-isn't it?

-Oh, it's going to be very interesting now, for sure.

Hugh, can I also commend you on your...

well, your waistcoat.

But better still, you have got a chain there.

-It's actually with fob watch as well.

-With a watch.

-My grandfather's.

-Lovely.

Now, Hugh, Charlie has thrown down

a considerable gauntlet there.

If anyone is equal to the task though, it is you, Hugh.

Right, well, there are three I know.

Talk us through the board.

Kevin Kline is Otto in A Fish Called Wanda.

Drew Barrymore is Gertie in ET.

Tom Cruise is Maverick in the fabulous '80s film Top Gun.

Bette Midler as Barbara Stone,

I would be taking a punt.

So, the question is whether I take a punt on that or Kevin Kline.

I'll go for Bette Midler.

OK. you're going to go for Bette Midler.

Beaches.

You have said Beaches, for Bette Midler.

Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

It is very low. Let's see if that's right though

for Bette Midler and, if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Oh, no.

Bad luck, Hugh. I'm sorry to say that's an incorrect answer.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points and takes

your total up to 200 points. Richard.

Yeah, she plays CC in Beaches, I'm afraid. It's a pointless answer.

I think you have to go for it.

It's a pointless answer and it's a wonderful film - Ruthless People.

If you had said Kevin Kline, you're right, it is A Fish Called Wanda.

It would have scored you 11 points. So you were left with no other option

after the score in the first round there.

Drew Barrymore, you're right, was ET.

Would have scored 29. Tom Cruise, you got right as well. Top Gun.

And that would have scored 37 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our first round,

the losing pair with a high score of 200 -

it's Hugh and James. Now, that score doesn't really

-tell the full story.

-It was my fault.

I went to say Big and changed my mind.

And instead of 11, I scored 100 and put Hugh under pressure.

I'm so sorry,

we have to say goodbye to you.

It's far too soon to be saying goodbye to you, Hugh and James.

Brilliant contestants, as you were last time. I'm sorry,

this is it. This is your second appearance.

Thank you so much for playing.

-It's been fun.

-Thank you very much.

-Hugh and James.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

So, sadly, at the end of this round, another pair will be leaving us.

Our PhD students did so well there. So well, all of them.

Simon and Emma, are you sure you're not doing film studies?

-Maybe I should be switching, I don't know.

-It was pretty good.

-And Charlie. Oh, you pulled it out of the bag with Dana.

-Yeah.

Very well done indeed. OK, well, best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

..Theatre. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going first and who's going second?

And whoever is going first, please, step up to the podium.

OK, the question concerns...

Characters In Shakespeare Plays. Richard.

In a moment, Xander is going to show you the titles

of four Shakespeare plays. You have to give us any named character

with a speaking role in one of those plays. So any named character

with a speaking role in one of those plays, please,

apart from the title characters.

We won't accept generic things

like Roman Soldier or Witch or anything like that.

Any named character with a speaking role in any of these four plays.

-Good luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

OK, I'm going to put four plays on the board,

and they will remain there throughout the whole round.

You just have to name any character from any of these. And they are...

There we are. Now, Jonny, how do we feel about this?

Shakespeare's not a great one for me.

I'm not great with books, really. Um...

The holding of them? Or the reading of them?

Everything, really.

I don't read many books, so this is not great.

Just, just to get the answer on there, Macbeth,

I'm going to say Lady Macbeth.

Lady Macbeth.

XANDER EXHALES FORCEFULLY

Lady Macbeth, says Jonny.

Let's see if it's right and how many of our 100 people said Lady Macbeth.

Absolutely right.

-XANDER CHUCKLES

-Wow! 36.

-Well, that's quite a low score, isn't it?

-I'll say.

Though you sort of suspect in the context,

-it might be quite a high score.

-Yeah. Luke.

It's not really a strong point.

I'm going to go for Macbeth as well, I'm going to go with Duncan.

Duncan, says Luke. Duncan. Let's see how Duncan does.

Well, 36, our best score so far.

Smashed through that with Duncan,

-17. Very well done, Luke.

-APPLAUSE

Well done, Luke.

The king of Scotland who, spoiler alert, is murdered by Macbeth.

-Oh, you think I shouldn't say Macbeth?

-Yeah.

-You said it already.

-I had to, I was reading it out.

-Well,

-I

-had to. I'm describing...

-And now we're cursed.

-But we've all said it, we've virtually all said it.

-Yeah, that's true.

-It seems to be fine thus far.

-Yeah, it's fine. Stage weights...

That light up there does look a little bit precarious.

OK, there we are.

-Yes, now then. Simon.

-OK, I did Macbeth at school, which helps.

So I can think of quite a lot of obscure characters,

but I'm not sure which ones had speaking roles, is the only problem.

-So I'm going to say Macbeth and Donalbain.

-Donalbain, says Simon.

This is very good. I think we're going to forget all about words ending in EAR

-after this. Donalbain, let's see if it's right.

-I'm hoping!

Let's see how many of our 100 said Donalbain.

It's right.

Down it goes, look at that.

Brilliant - 1!

One person said Donalbain.

Very well done indeed, Simon.

Great answer, Simon. Essentially, all Shakespeare plays

can be put into two camps.

Either A - the one you did at school, or B - all the other ones.

I have a pretty good working knowledge of Twelfth Night.

-Oh, yeah!

-But my working knowledge of the rest of Shakespeare is slightly less good.

Yeah. Anyway, we're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

By far the best scorer for that pass was Simon,

so Simon and Emma looking pretty good at this stage

with their score of 1.

Then up to 17, where we find Luke and Kate.

Then up to 36, where we find Jonny and Charlie.

None of them bad scores, but, Charlie,

you are out in front, so we need a really good low score from you

if we're going to see you after this round.

Best of luck with that. Second players, please take your places at the podium.

There we are.

Now, Emma, we are looking for any character

with a speaking part from one of these Shakespeare plays.

Did you appear in any Shakespeare at school?

I remember we did Othello,

but I can't remember any of the characters names at all. Um...

Mercutio.

It sounds Shakespearean.

Mercutio, says Emma. You're on 1, the high-scorers on 36

are Charlie and Jonny, so you want to be scoring 34 or less.

Let's see if Mercutio is right.

Bad luck, Emma. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

It may not be the last incorrect answer of the round,

but it scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 101.

Sorry, Emma, he's Romeo And Juliet.

-I hope your English teacher's not watching.

-So, Kate, we come to you.

The high-scorers are now Emma and Simon on 101,

you're on 17, which means 83 or less sees you into the head-to-head.

Again, not very good for me.

We did Macbeth at school, but I can't remember any of them.

-All I can think about is the skull.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Well...

-So I'm just going to say Yorick.

Now, there is your red line. If you get below that...

If you get below that with Yorick, you are through to the next round.

Let's see, Yorick. Is it right?

Bad luck, Kate, I'm really sorry.

I'm afraid Yorick, an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points,

taking your total up to 117. Richard.

Yeah, sorry, Kate. Not a speaking role, and it's in Hamlet.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, then, Charlie. Charlie!

What about that? What a lifeline! What a lifeline!

Kate and Luke are on 117, you're on 36, which means

if you can score 80 or less - 80 or less, Charlie!

Well, we shall see, because I did The Merchant Of Venice at school,

which I was really hoping would come up. But it hasn't. However...

she will kick me if I get this wrong, but I think my mother has

a quotation from, I think, Hamlet on a fridge magnet, on her fridge.

-And I'm hoping it was from Polonius.

-Polonius. Good stuff.

Well, there is your red line -

if you get below that red line, you are through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said it.

There you are. Through you go.

It's a good answer, look at that.

10. Very well done, Charlie.

10 takes your total up to 46.

-Well played, Charlie. Well played your mum, as well.

-Thanks, Mum!

It's a very good answer.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

Barnardo from Hamlet. Brabanzio from Othello.

Cornelius, also from Hamlet.

From Othello again, Lodovico.

Menenius from Coriolanus, Menteith from Macbeth.

Reynaldo from Hamlet,

and Virgilia and Volumnia who are both from Coriolanus.

Very well done if you said any of those.

Let's take a look at the answers that most people said.

From Othello, Desdemona would have scored you 18 points.

From Hamlet, Ophelia on 20 points.

And Jonny gave it to us already,

we said it was a low score, but it was the highest of all,

Lady Macbeth from Macbeth on 36.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. At the end of Round Two,

the losing pair with their high score of 117, it's Kate and Luke.

Yes, bad luck.

But, Luke, you did very well, King Duncan. A good answer there.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye, we will see you again next time,

we look forward to that.

Meanwhile, thanks very much for playing, Kate and Luke.

APPLAUSE

But for the two remaining pairs,

they're getting one step closer to the final

and a chance to take home our jackpot as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Jonny and Charlie, Simon and Emma.

You are now only one round away from the final

and the chance to play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £4,000.

APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING

Obviously, only one pair can play for that money,

and to decide who, you're now going to go head-to-head.

This time, you are allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

This is by far, by far our most intellectual semi we've ever had.

This is extremely exciting. Best of luck to both pairs.

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

..Breeds Of Cat.

-Breeds Of Cat, Richard.

-Yes, let's test out

just how great PhD students are now.

Yes, so we're going to have some cute photos.

-Yeah!

-That's the good news.

We're going to show you five photos of cats.

You just have to tell us which breed is each cat.

-Fantastic.

-We can do marks out of 10 on how cute they are if you want.

-Let's do it.

-We did it with dogs the other day.

OK, let's reveal our five photograph of cats, and here they are.

-A. 2.

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-Are you not a fan?

-Look at that face!

-Aw...!

-B.

-Aw...!

-6.

-Yeah, I'm going to... That's 8.

-Lovely eyes. 6.5.

C.

5.

Well, I'm going to blame the photo booth.

I suspect, in his Facebook photos, he's better-looking than that.

In your passport photo, you're always a bit serious, aren't you?

D.

Nothing.

LAUGHTER

Really? Just because you can't score any cat under 5, I'll give it a 5.

OK, I'll score 5. Good.

And E.

Don't look, don't look directly in the face!

I might go 5 again.

What's that, master? 10? I'll go 10.

OK, there we are. There are your five cats.

Jonny and Charlie, you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

Not sure whether that's an advantage, to be honest.

-(Persian.

-Which one?)

OK, we're not sure, but we're going to say E is a Persian.

E, Persian, say Jonny and Charlie.

OK, Simon and Emma, you can talk us through all those cats if you want.

-OK.

-I quite like cats. I think I know most of them.

-I think I should leave this to you.

-Go on, then, Emma.

OK. A is a Persian cat.

I think B is Siamese.

Not certain about C.

D is Bengal.

I think E is either...

maybe British shorthair

or American shorthair.

We'll go A, Persian.

You're going to say A, Persian.

OK, so, Charlie and Jonny have said E, Persian.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said it. Is it right?

Ooh! Simon and Emma have said A, Persian.

Let's see if A is Persian, and if it is, how many people said that.

It is right, that's all it had to be.

16.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Simon and Emma. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Well played, Emma. Let's clear up E, then.

E is actually a Burmese.

A Burmese, would have scored you 11 points.

That particular cat actually ruled

the Burmese government for a large time

in the late '60s and the early '70s,

until he was deposed by another cat.

It's terrifying!

B, you're absolutely right,

is a Siamese.

Would have scored 55 points.

C is a pointless answer.

And that is an Abyssinian.

It's an Abyssinian.

Poor little thing!

Nobody knows what breed he is. It's OK.

And D, you're absolutely right,

is a Bengal.

A terrifying Bengal cat, 5 points.

If you had just a picture of the face of that Bengal,

-it would be very, very cute.

-Yeah.

OK, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Here comes your second question.

Jonny and Charlie need to win this to stay in the game. And it concerns...

-Richard.

-Five clues to facts about the London 2012 Opening Ceremony.

Can you pick the most obscure?

Let's reveal our five clues to facts

about the opening ceremony of London 2012.

I'll read those all one final time.

There we are. Five clues to facts

about the Olympics opening ceremony, 2012.

Simon and Emma, you go first this time.

-(I don't know, I only know the top one.

-OK.)

-Shall we go for play, then?

-Yeah.

OK, OK, we're going to go with the Shakespeare play,

Shakespeare to the rescue again, I hope. And that's from The Tempest.

The Tempest, say Simon and Emma. The Tempest. So, Charlie and Jonny.

Well, we don't think anything we know is going to beat that.

The director was Danny Boyle, we think.

The Olympic legend was Sir Steve Redgrave, we believe.

The four words said by the Queen would be something like "Hello.

"Good morning, Mr Bond," possibly.

And the copper petals,

I think are the amount of nations in the Olympics, which we don't know.

-Go safe. Go Danny Boyle.

-Go safe, yeah?

OK, we'll say Danny Boyle was the artistic director.

OK. Danny Boyle, say Jonny and Charlie.

Simon and Emma said The Tempest. Charlie and Jonny said Danny Boyle.

The Tempest. Let's see if that's right and how many people said that.

It's right.

6.

Wow!

That's a pleasingly low score. 6 for The Tempest.

Jonny and Charlie, that's what you have to beat to stay in the game,

and you have gone for Danny Boyle.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Danny Boyle.

It's right.

Oh, Danny Boyle, not enough to beat The Tempest. 27.

Which means after only two questions,

Simon and Emma are through to the final, 2-0. Very well done.

Well played, Simon and Emma.

Emma took the first one, Simon took the second one, won both of them.

Now, guys, you were going to have a go at the four words

uttered by the Queen, weren't you?

And you were going to choose between "Good morning, Mr Bond,"

-and "Good afternoon, Mr Bond." What would you have gone for?

-Morning?

Good morning. It's "Good evening, Mr Bond."

And it would have scored 14 points.

So there's nothing that could have beaten The Tempest.

It's a terrific answer, very well played.

The number of copper petals, you're right,

it's the number of teams competing in the game.

-Do you want... Anyone hazard a guess?

-204.

-Is the right answer! Wow!

How about that? Well done, would have scored you 7 points.

And the Olympic legend, you're right, was Sir Steve Redgrave.

-That would have scored you 33 points.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

So our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head is Charlie and Jonny.

Jonny, that was impressive! You must have known that.

Something at the back of my head.

Bit of pointless knowledge, obviously.

Yeah, back of the head, that's where pointless knowledge lives.

What a shame, we have to say goodbye to you.

You played so well throughout the whole show

-and then whitewash from Simon and Emma in that round.

-Cats!

-Cats did it.

-Cats. There you go.

Anyway, we'll see you again next time, which is great news.

We look forward to that, thanks for playing.

-Jonny and Charlie.

-Good luck, guys.

But for Simon and Emma, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations Simon and Emma, you fought off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of the show, the jackpot stands at £4,000.

APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING

Well, this is more like it. You've done so well.

Last time, your first appearance on Pointless, your first two utterances

scored you 200 points and you left.

Oh, but back you came! Anyway, best of luck. The rules are very simple.

To win the money, you have find a pointless answer.

Do that and you go home with that jackpot.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category,

and here are your five options.

-OK. Ice Hockey is out, right?

-Yes!

-Not good on ice hockey.

-No.

I don't know anything about any of them.

-Whichever one you know the most about.

-Oh, dear, the pressure!

This is all down to you now.

I'm going to take a punt that it is something like the honour system

-and go for Honours.

-Honours. OK. Let's find out what the question is.

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

members of the Order of the Garter as they could.

Order of the Garter. Richard.

We're looking for any member of the Order of the Garter,

which is the oldest and most senior rank of British chivalry.

And that's as they are listed on the website of the British monarchy.

-So any member of the Order of the Garter.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

You have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

And all you need to win that £4,000

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-OK, I think...

-Go ahead!

It's basically...half the royal family's in it, all the big names,

but I think the best thing to go with is foreign royalty,

because I think there's a few kings of Denmark and Norway and things like that...

-OK.

-..in the Order of the Garter as well, I think.

-So if say Harald V of Norway, that would be one.

-OK.

-Just go for a safe one like Prince Philip.

-OK.

And the third one will be a guess,

so probably British but less...less obvious than that.

-So pick a minor royal.

-No.

-OK!

-You go with one.

-Um...

Let's say...

Oh, Prince Michael of Kent, I guess. OK, there we go.

OK, we have three answers. That was quick work there, Simon and Emma.

We'll stop the clock.

We were looking for members of the Order of the Garter.

-I now need your three answers.

-OK, so we've got King Harald of Norway.

-King Harald of Norway.

-The Duke of Edinburgh.

-The Duke of Edinburgh.

-And Prince Michael of Kent.

-And Prince Michael of Kent.

Of those, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Probably King of Norway.

-Harald of Norway.

-If he is one!

-And the Duke of Edinburgh...

-We'll put him first, the Duke of Edinburgh?

-I think so.

-And Prince Michael in the middle.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order and here they are.

So we were looking for members of the Order of the Garter.

Your first answer, the Duke of Edinburgh,

this was your least likely to be pointless.

Remember, you only have to have one pointless answer to win the jackpot.

Let's see, the Duke of Edinburgh,

how many of our 100 people said the Duke of Edinburgh?

Well, it's absolutely right.

If this goes all the way down to zero, you can leave here immediately

with that £4,000 in your back pocket.

Let's see, down through the 30s, down through the 20s,

-ooh, 19.

-OK.

APPLAUSE

19 for the Duke of Edinburgh. Not a pointless answer.

But, actually, considering that he's probably quite a conspicuous

member of the Order of the Garters, I'd have thought,

yes, that's quite a low score.

We need two more chances to win today's jackpot. £4,000.

-That would be nice.

-We've worked it up to £4,000, that's quite nice.

-What would you do with that, Emma?

-A holiday would be nice.

I can't remember what those are like.

-Yeah, a holiday, I guess.

-Very good. Simon?

Well, either I'll go on holiday or just spend the last year of my PhD

living like a king on the proceeds.

-Like a member of the Order of the Garter.

-Exactly like that, yes.

We are looking for members of the Order of the Garter.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Prince Michael of Kent.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot,

so let's see, for £4,000, how many people said Prince Michael of Kent.

-Ooh! So obscure, in fact, that it's wrong.

-Yes.

-So obscure, they didn't even give him one.

-Right.

So everything is now resting on your brilliant, brilliant answer,

King Harald of Norway. This was your most confident shot.

I think if he is in the Order of the Garter, it's a good one.

-I just hope that he is.

-Yeah!

-NOW you're saying if!

But it's great, though. It's a great answer either way, even if it's wrong.

Let's find out.

For £4,000, did anybody say Harald V, King of Norway?

Is it a pointless answer? Is it a correct answer?

It's right! Harald V, King of Norway, is a correct answer.

So the Duke of Edinburgh took us all the way down to 19.

Prince Michael of Kent not invited to that particular party.

But King Harald V of Norway, down he goes, down he goes, oh!

AUDIENCE GROANS

Oh!

APPLAUSE

Ohhh...

Yes, Queen Beatrice of Norway was one of our people... No, she wasn't!

-How extraordinary.

-Extraordinary indeed, yeah.

-Can you give me that person's name and address?

-Wow.

I thought that was, that was an amazing answer.

That was a brilliant answer. Anyway, very well done.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find that pointless answer,

bafflingly. Which means I'm afraid

you don't take away the thoroughly earned

but un-won jackpot of £4,000, which rolls over onto the next show.

You have been fantastic contestants,

and you do get a Pointless trophy so very well done.

APPLAUSE

Oh, Simon and Emma.

You turned up on the last show, immediately scored 200,

and since that moment, you have not put a foot wrong.

You played so terrifically well and with such a good spirit as well,

it's really, really tough luck. You should have taken a bit more time.

You were on the right track, you talked about the foreign royals.

But you just stuck with one.

-Should have gone with more.

-Could have gone with more.

Let's take a look at the first page of pointless answers.

You could have gone with any of these.

Akihito, the Emperor of Japan, would have been pointless,

would have won you £4,000. Beatrix, Queen of the Netherlands.

And Carl Gustaf, King of Sweden, also would have won you the money.

Let's take a look at some others. Grand Duke Jean of Luxembourg.

Two military Lords there, Lord Boyce and Lord Inge.

Lord Luce, who is Miranda Hart's uncle.

A member of the Order of the Garter.

The Duke of Abercorn, cousin of Wills and Harry. And Thomas Woodcock.

There's a few more you could have had, the Bishop of Winchester,

the Dean of Windsor, Lord Phillips of Worth Matravers,

all would have been pointless.

Very well done if you said any of those. Really tough luck.

-Just needed a different foreign royal.

-Different one. Oh, well.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye, Simon and Emma.

It's been fantastic having you on the show. Thank you.

-You've been brilliant contestants.

-Thanks a lot.

APPLAUSE

So, Simon and Emma didn't win our jackpot today,

so it rolls over to the next show when we'll be playing for £5,000.

APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING

Join us then to see if someone can win it,

-meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd