Episode 17 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thanks. I'm Alexander Armstrong. A warm welcome to Pointless,

the quiz show where the obvious answers mean nothing and the obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

-Couple number one.

-I'm Kevin. This is Charlie.

We're both from Hornchurch in Essex.

Couple number two.

Hi. I'm Ed. This is Alan. We're old friends from Liverpool.

Couple number three.

Hi. I'm Peter. This is my daughter, Sue, and we're from Derbyshire.

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Susie. This is my friend, Caroline.

We're both from London.

And these, ladies and gentlemen, are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Fresh from signing, oh, perhaps half a dozen autographs for his fan club, the Osmaniacs,

it's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hi, everybody.

-Afternoon.

-Afternoon to you.

-How are you?

Yeah, I really mustn't grumble.

That's good news.

We've got two very, very strong returning pairs

from the last show. It'll be tough for our new pairs today.

Ed and Alan went all the way through to the head-to-head.

They were slightly steamrollered in the head-to-head, but up to that point, did terrifically well.

Susie and Caroline were quite unlucky to be knocked out as well.

It's going to be a tough show. And we keep giving away the jackpot.

-It's a shame.

-We gave away the jackpot in the last show. That's a spoiler for you.

Thanks very much. Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants here need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Now, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer. This is an answer

that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As you will have gathered, Andy and Beth won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts back at £1,000.

So, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, in this round, I'm going to take an answer from each of you, but there's to be no conferring.

At the end of the round, the pair with the highest score will be eliminated.

OK, our first category today is...

Sporting venues. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

-Richard.

-On each pass, we'll show you the names of seven football stadiums.

You need to tell us which English professional teams play at those stadiums.

There's going to be 14 in all to have a go at at home.

I know some people will get all 14. Some people, this is the worst round imaginable, isn't it?

Yes.

Everyone looks pretty happy...apart from Caroline.

I'm not happy at all!

So we're looking for the names of the teams that play their home games at these grounds.

And our first board reads like this.

I'll read those all one last time.

So there we are. Seven football clubs' grounds.

Kevin.

You and Charlie all drew lots before the show, and today you're going first.

So, Kevin, where are you from?

I'm from Hornchurch in Essex, on the outskirts of London.

-And what do you do, Kevin?

-I'm a policeman in London.

-Policeman in London. How long have you been a policeman in the Met?

-About 24 years now.

-Wow! Do you enjoy it?

-Yeah, it's great fun.

What do you get up to in your spare time?

I love going over West Ham.

Big West Ham fan.

And when I'm not going over to the football,

I quite like going up town with the wife, take the wife out.

-Go see a few shows and what-have-you.

-Very good.

Very good. OK.

Well, you get first pick of this board, Kevin.

Well, luckily it was football.

Bit of a result.

Deepdale.

Preston North End.

Preston North End, Kevin says for Deepdale. Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said Preston North End.

It's right.

17.

-17.

-Yeah, used to have the National Football Museum there as well.

Ed.

-Welcome back to the show.

-Thank you.

So, yes, head-to-head last time.

Yeah, it was a very close tie, really.

I think...they had the advantage because they went first on the first pass

and they went for the answer I would have said.

Then on the second pass,

they pulled an answer out of the air, which I don't think we'd have got if we'd been here till...

-Usain Bolt's world record.

-Yes.

Also one of the many names of his autobiography.

Yes. Now then, Ed, remind us what you do.

I'm a retired HR manager.

Right you are. And what are your hobbies?

I'm a volunteer at Liverpool Cathedral, and I also play in a band.

Very good indeed. Now then,

what do you make of this?

I know a few of them.

Um...

I'm going to go for Brunton Park,

Carlisle United.

Carlisle United, Brunton Park, says Ed.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said Carlisle United.

It's right.

Well, Kevin scored 17 with Deepdale.

Oh, yeah, four!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Four.

Kevin scored 17 with Deepdale. Four you get with Carlisle.

-Fantastic.

-It's the largest football stadium in England that isn't all-seater.

-Brunton Park. How about that for a fact?

-There we are.

Also, the East Stand is slightly askew from the West Stand.

They were going to redevelop the whole thing, but they ran out of money,

-so they've got one stand that's slightly wonky.

-Weird angle?

Not a weird angle, but it starts a bit further down the pitch than it should,

-and ends a bit further down the other end.

-It doesn't start on the pitch?! That'd be terrible.

-You'd have to have the goal somewhere in the stand.

-But that's not what's happened.

-Could be fun.

-You'd have heard about that if that was the case.

-I'm sure I would.

-Peter.

-Yes.

-Peter, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Remind me where you're from, Peter.

-We're from Dronfield, a little town in Derbyshire.

Very good indeed. And what do you do?

I'm retired at the moment.

What did you do, Peter?

I was a sales manager with a pneumatics company in Sheffield.

Right you are. And what do you like to spend your retirement doing?

We go caravanning. I do a lot of walking in Derbyshire.

And we love going on holiday.

-Excellent. Do you follow the football?

-Yes.

-CAROLINE:

-Lucky you!

LAUGHTER

-Very closely.

-OK.

-Very closely. So you've got a good answer?

-Yes.

What are you going to go for?

Well, much as it pains me to say,

Hillsborough, Sheffield Wednesday.

Hillsborough, Sheffield Wednesday, says Peter.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

33.

APPLAUSE

33 for Sheffield Wednesday.

That's the largest stadium outside the Premiership. They're called the Owls,

after one of their players once presented them with an owl.

Where do they get those ideas from?

-And Caroline.

-Yes.

Caroline, you're the last one to have this board.

We've heard noises from you all the way through this round.

They're good noises, but they all suggest that you're not perhaps

-completely at home in this category.

-I'm hoping that if I just get a right answer,

then Susie knows a lot about football, so I'm banking on her.

OK, So, remind us what you do, Caroline.

I'm a communications manager for the NHS.

That's right. And what do you get up to in your spare time?

Um...I like to play hockey

and I gamble quite a bit

And...yeah. They're probably my two main hobbies.

So, talking of gambling, what are you going to go for on this board?

Do you fancy going through the board?

I feel like I ought to know who plays at The Valley,

but I don't.

Um...and the only one I know up there is Old Trafford.

My flatmate's a big Man United fan,

so I'm really hoping that Old Trafford is Manchester United.

Manchester United, says Caroline, for Old Trafford.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right.

-Oh, God!

-83.

APPLAUSE

83 for Manchester United.

As you say, it is genuinely better than 100. Damage limitation.

At least there's one up there you know. I always think of my mum on rounds like this.

To her, that's literally just words.

Yeah.

Let's go through the rest of these.

The Valley... It's a London team.

It's Charlton.

Would have scored you 24.

Matchroom Stadium is another London team.

It's Leyton Orient.

Would have scored you eight points.

Now, this last one. I once dreamt that I was on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

And the million-pound question was, which team plays at Priestfield Stadium?

And I got it right.

That would be a million-pound question.

-Is that...?

-Probably not.

-It was just a dream.

-It's just a dream. That's OK.

It's Gillingham.

So well done if you said that - you've just won £1 million.

LAUGHTER

-Gillingham. Brilliant.

-Would have scored nine points.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

Four. Ed, lovely low score there.

Ed and Alan looking nice and strong on the back of it.

Up to 17, where we find Kevin and Charlie.

Up to 33, Peter and Sue.

And then quite a hike up to 83, Caroline and Susie.

Well, Susie, Caroline says you know a lot about football.

I think we're about to find out.

Well, you get first choice of the next board, so make sure

you pick a really low-scoring one.

And let's hope that's enough to keep you in the game.

We'll come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, let's put seven more football grounds up on the board. Here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Remember, we're looking for the teams

that play their home games at these grounds.

Obviously, Susie, you'll try and find the one

-you think the fewest of our 100 people knew. Susie, welcome back.

-Thank you.

Yes, you've got a bit of a job to do here.

I think you're up to it. What do you make of the board?

There's one that's close to my heart,

and one that's close to my house.

Um...

But I think I'm going to go with the Kassam Stadium,

which is Oxford United.

Oxford United, says Susie, for Kassam Stadium.

You are the high scorers, on 83.

You just have to hope this goes down as far as it possibly can.

Oxford United. Let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

It's very good. Look at that. Well done - nine.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

92 your total, Susie.

Very well done.

Terrific play, Susie. You might yet have saved yourself there. The Kassam Stadium's only got three stands.

The gentleman behind it, Mr Kassam, said, "I'll add another one if more of you turn up."

Well, that's an incentive, isn't it?

Well, you know, it hasn't been, thus far.

LAUGHTER

So the wind must just come in.

-The wind does come in, yes.

-Yeah.

I forgot about your degree in architecture.

Sue.

-Sue, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

What do you do, Sue?

I'm a retired teacher.

-What did you teach?

-French and Spanish.

French and Spanish. To what sort of age group?

Secondary, up to 18.

Very good.

And how's your football?

OK. I'm a big Sheffield United fan.

-So...

-OK. So what are you going to go for?

I think I'm going to go for the Lamex Stadium,

which is, I believe, Stevenage.

You're on 33, Sue.

The high scorers are Susie and Caroline on 92.

A score of 58 or less

sees you comfortably into the next round.

Let's see if Stevenage is right, and if it is, let's see how many people said it. There's your red line.

Very well done.

Into the second round you go. Very well done indeed.

Down it goes... Look at that! Two, Sue.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's a lovely score.

Our best score of the round so far.

Takes your total up to 35.

That's a terrific answer, Sue. I'm guessing you must have been there.

I have, yes. Last season.

-How did you get on?

-We won, yeah.

If I had my own football team,

I'm not sure I'd put the word "lame" in my ground. Would you?

No.

Well, if I did, I probably would!

Yeah.

Thanks very much. Now then, Alan.

High scorers on 92. You're on four.

I reckon you can probably make it through to the next round.

You need to score 87 or less. Before we go into that,

remind us what you do.

I'm a retired civil servant.

That's right. And what was your department?

-Charity Commission.

-That's right.

The nice side of civil service.

Yeah, cuddly, quite small. Off the radar.

-Very good. And when did you stop doing that?

-About a year ago.

Very good indeed. Now then.

What are you going to go for?

I think, as someone who lives in the northwest,

Bloomfield Road is the obvious one for me.

And I think that's Blackpool.

Blackpool, says Alan. There is your red line.

Get below that, you're into Round Two.

Let's see if Bloomfield Road is right for Blackpool, and if it is,

let's see how many people said Blackpool.

It's right. You're through.

20.

APPLAUSE

24 your total.

Our lowest total so far.

There's a groundsman called Paul Burgess, who started his career doing work experience at Bloomfield Road

and is now head ground-keeper at the Bernabeu stadium in Real Madrid.

-That's nice.

-That's quite good, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Now, Charlie.

Charlie, welcome to the show. Good to have you here.

-You're at university.

-Yeah, I'm a student at Nottingham Trent.

-What are you studying?

-Quantity surveying.

Yeah, good.

It's usually a conversation-killer.

And, er...

how far are you into your course?

-I'm in second year.

-You enjoying it?

It's not bad. I'm missing a deadline to be here today.

Oh, that's good!

Glad we're contributing.

So we want you to name the teams who play their home games at these grounds.

Something tells me you're going to have a great answer.

I watch it all the time.

But...

I'm worried here, because

I am going to get abuse for the rest of my life by my mates.

I can't say Villa Park or Stamford Bridge, because it's too obvious.

Well, let me just put you in the picture.

The high scorers are Susie and Caroline on 92. You're on 17.

You can score 74 or less.

OK, then, I will.

I'll say Chelsea for Stamford Bridge.

Stamford Bridge, Chelsea.

Yeah, 74 or less.

-There's your red line.

-I've got that feeling.

-I don't know.

We'll see. There's your red line. This will be very exciting.

Below that red line, you remain.

Above that red line, we say goodbye to you.

Chelsea for Stamford Bridge. Is it right? How many people said it?

You've done it!

60.

APPLAUSE

The abuse can be postponed, Charlie.

I'll still get abuse for that, I think.

Takes your total up to 77. Richard.

Well done, Charlie. Quite often we get students on this show

and they say, "I'm missing a deadline"

or this, that or the other,

to come on Pointless. You think, "What if your dad found out?" You brought your dad with you.

He doesn't seem to mind.

That's good, isn't it?

Let's go through the rest of these.

If you decided to avoid the two obvious ones and went for an obscure one, what would you have said?

I would have said Burnley for Plainmoor.

You'd have just been knocked out.

-Torquay.

-Torquay, yeah.

Absolutely right. Would have scored seven points.

Villa Park scores more than Stamford Bridge,

as it has Villa in the name. Aston Villa, of course.

67 points.

And Home Park is Plymouth Argyle.

Ten points. So Stevenage is the best answer there, Sue. Well done.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of our first round, I'm afraid to say that

the pair heading home with their high score of 92

is Susie and Caroline.

It is one of our two returning pairs.

I had high hopes for you this time.

-So did we.

-So did we.

Yeah. Yeah, you were right to make those noises

when the category came up.

I'm sorry to have to say goodbye to you. This really is goodbye.

But it's been great having you on both shows. Thanks so much for playing. Susie and Caroline.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Obviously, there's only room for two pairs in our head-to-head round,

so one of the pairs in front of me will be leaving us at the end of this round.

Ed and Alan, fantastic play from you there.

Sue and Peter, though.

Sue...

with Stevenage.

Yes. I was lucky.

-Would you have got Stevenage?

-No.

But, to be fair, I support a team that doesn't play in the lower leagues, so...

AUDIENCE: Boo!

That's unnecessary, Richard!

I was just making a factual point, that's all.

And Charlie and Kevin, you were the high scorers of the remaining pairs.

So, yes, could do better, we'll say.

Absolutely.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

It's pop music. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could.

Richard.

Yes, any Beatles single that starts with a consonant and has been in the official UK Top 40.

Where they had double A-sides, both of those answers will count as separate answers.

We're not accepting EPs, so, for example,

something like Twist And Shout wouldn't count.

But any other Beatles single that begins with a consonant.

Very best of luck.

OK, thanks very much.

Now then.

-Kevin.

-Yeah.

So we're looking for any UK Top 40 singles by the Beatles,

beginning with a consonant.

What I would find really hard if I was playing

would be knowing what was a single

and what was...

just a song I liked from an album.

You know what, being a comprehensive boy,

it'd be nice to know what a consonant meant!

LAUGHTER

Are you going to furnish him with that?

I'm going to call it a non-vowel.

Anything that isn't a vowel.

OK.

Help.

-Help.

-Yeah, that was a single for the Beatles.

-I'm struggling with Beatles singles, to be honest with you.

-Help, says Kevin.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many said Help.

It's right.

20.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Kevin. 20 for Help.

Number 1 in 1965. Also a film in 1965, and the accompanying album too.

Covered by Bananarama for Comic Relief.

Now then, Ed.

Ed, oh, the trouble is, you being from Liverpool and playing in a band...

I feel bad about giving you this.

-And playing at the Cavern.

-Yeah.

Do you really play at the Cavern?

Do you want to take a bit more time to think about this?

I'm going to go for... Obviously, they had all the hit singles in the '60s,

but in the '90s, they also had a couple of other hit singles.

So I'm going with Free As A Bird.

Free As A Bird... Oh, that's just clever!

I mean, only Richard would have thought of something like that.

Free As A Bird. Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said it.

It's right.

There we are! Ed, I had a feeling that was going to happen.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's a pointless answer. It adds £250 to the jackpot.

Takes the total up to £1,250.

And it scores you absolutely nothing. Very well done indeed, Ed.

-Brilliant answer.

-I would've got a lot of stick if I hadn't got that!

We would expect nothing less. Reached Number 2.

Kept off the top by Earth Song by Michael Jackson.

That's a real Stevenage of an answer. Very well done.

Now, Peter.

So we're looking for any UK Top 40 single by the Beatles

that starts with a consonant.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to go for...

I'm not sure which is singles and which is an album,

but I'll say Yellow Submarine.

Yellow Submarine, says Peter. Let's see if Yellow Submarine is right. Let's see how many said it if it is.

Very well done. 20 our high score at this stage.

And nothing... 38.

APPLAUSE

38 for Yellow Submarine.

Yeah, Number 1 in 1966.

It was a double A-side with Eleanor Rigby,

-which of course begins with a vowel, so I can mention it.

-Thanks very much.

We're halfway. Let's look at the scores. Ed and Alan

looking very strong on the back of Ed's brilliant answer there.

Nothing is their score, then up to 20,

where we find Kevin and Charlie. Up to 38,

where we find Peter and Sue.

Sue, we need another of your Stevenage-type answers,

just to make sure you make it through to the head-to-head.

We're going back down the line now. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

OK, Sue, we're looking for any Top 40 single performed by the Beatles that starts with a consonant.

I'm afraid it's not a Stevenage answer, but I'm going to go with Let It Be.

Let It Be, says Sue. Let It Be.

Now, you're the high scorers, so there's no red line.

Let's just see how far down the column it'll take us. Let It Be.

13. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Good answer. Takes your total to 51, Sue.

The last single they released before they split up in 1970.

Another Number 2 hit.

Now then, Alan.

Alan, the high scorers are Sue and Peter on 51.

If you can score 50 or less, you are in the head-to-head comfortably.

OK, there was another single in the '90s they put out

just after, er...Free As A Bird, which was called

Real Love.

Real Love.

OK, there is your red line.

Let's see if Real Love is right, and if it is, let's see if it'll get you below that red line.

It is right.

It gets you below the red line. Now, I have a feeling

this may well take you all the way down...

Yes, it does! Very well done, Alan.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's another pointless answer. It adds another £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to £1,500.

It scores you nothing, and it leaves your total at nothing.

Very well done indeed, Alan.

-Brilliant.

-As soon as Ed said Free As A Bird,

I would have put good money on you saying Real Love.

-Very well done. It was a year later.

-Me too.

-Number 4 hit.

-Double pointless - we don't get them very often, do we?

-No.

First time for a very long time, so terrifically well done.

Very well done indeed. Now, Charlie.

So, remember, we're looking for any UK Top 40 single by the Beatles,

beginning with a consonant. The high scorers on 51 are Sue and Peter.

You're on 20. If you can score 30 or less,

you are through to the head-to-head.

-A moment of truth here.

-Yeah.

How are you feeling?

-Under pressure.

-You can talk us through your answers, if you like.

I can think of two. One is really obvious.

-I'd go for the other one.

-Yeah!

I'm not entirely sure...

..this is the title, but I'm going to say it.

Come Together.

Come Together, says Charlie.

Come Together. There is your red line.

Let's find out if Come Together is right, and if it is, how many people said it.

Will it get you below that red line and into the head-to-head? Come Together.

It's right.

You've done it! Very well done indeed.

Still going down... It's a pointless answer!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very, very well done. Another pointless answer

adds another £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to £1,750.

It scores you nothing.

It leaves your total at 20, and it keeps you very much in the game.

-Very well done, Charlie. That was a brilliant answer.

-Cheers.

Terrific. It's a double A-side as well, from 1969. It was a double A-side with Something.

Something would have scored you something - one.

But that's a terrific answer.

We've heard three pointless answers out there, and there's only four on the whole board.

So we've had 75% of them.

So if you said one of those, or if you said...

Baby It's You,

it's the only other one up there.

Baby It's You, Come Together, Free As A Bird and Real Love.

Some of the small scorers - Something, as we've just said, scored one.

Ballad Of John And Yoko would have scored one.

We Can Work It Out and Day Tripper would have scored two each.

Hello, Goodbye and Get Back would have scored three each.

Four points for Lady Madonna, From Me To You and Back In The USSR.

Those were the very low scorers.

Paperback Writer with eight as well.

Let's take a look at the top answers,

the ones that most people said. She Loves You at 22.

Love Me Do at 30.

Which can only mean, right at the top...

Yellow Submarine, with 38.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of that round, I'm afraid it's Sue and Peter

who'll be leaving us, with a lovely low score of 51,

but I'm afraid

you were betting without Alan and Ed

and the brilliant Charlie there at the end.

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye at this stage,

but we get to see you next time. We'll look forward to that.

Sue, Peter, thanks so much for playing. Lovely contestants.

APPLAUSE

CHEERING

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Ed and Alan, Charlie and Kevin.

You're one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for our jackpot, currently £1,750.

To decide who gets to play for that money, you're now going to go head-to-head.

The big difference is you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions

will be playing for the jackpot.

Now, listen, Ed and Alan...

in the first two rounds of this show, you've only scored 24 points.

24 points. Two pointless answers.

Brilliant. Now, Kevin...

Help...

is at hand,

because now you can come together...

with Charlie and actually use a bit of his knowledge.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

-Puppets. Richard.

-We're about to show you pictures of five famous TV puppets.

Can you simply name who they are, please.

Brilliant.

Let's reveal our five puppets. And here they are. We have got...

There we are. Five famous puppets.

Ed and Alan, you've played best throughout the show so far,

so you get to go first.

THEY CONFER

We're going to go for C - Nookie Bear.

Nookie Bear, say Ed and Alan, for C.

Nookie Bear.

Now, Charlie and Kevin.

You can do all your talking out loud now. Talk us through the board.

I only know the two obvious ones, B and E.

Yeah, I don't know...

I don't know A.

My favourite has to be Nookie, but they've taken it.

We'll have to go for B.

Brains.

You say B - Brains.

OK, so we have Ed and Alan saying Nookie Bear,

Charlie and Kevin saying Brains.

So, Nookie Bear. Let's see how many people said that. Is it right?

It is right.

It's a great answer. Look at that - 17. Very well done.

17 for Nookie Bear.

Charlie and Kevin are saying B is Brains,

from Thunderbirds. B - Brains.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

Absolutely right.

31.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Ed and Alan. After one question, you're up 1-0.

Yes, that age-old battle between Brains and Nookie.

And, as always, Nookie wins.

LAUGHTER

Let's go through the rest of these.

A is from Pipkins - Hartley Hare.

Well done if you said that.

Viewers of a certain age would probably have got that. 12 points.

D is one of the two Riddlers.

It's Mossop.

I thought that was Jim from Rosie And Jim.

But I was wrong. One point for Mossop.

And the last one... What do you think Basil Brush would have scored?

Um...I think that's probably going to be in the 80s.

You're absolutely right. 89 points for Basil Brush.

Basil Brush there

in his official robes as Rector of St Andrews.

LAUGHTER

There we are. Here comes your second question.

Charlie and Kevin, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

It concerns...

LAUGHTER

Richard.

We'll show you five foodstuffs that all featured

on the BBC list, 50 Things To Eat Before You Die.

We've left out alternate letters. Can you fill them in and give us the foodstuff?

OK, let's reveal our five things to eat before you die. And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all again without the blanks.

There we are. Five things to eat before you die.

Charlie and Kevin, you go first this time.

THEY CONFER

All right. We only know one,

so we're going to say caviar for the middle.

Caviar. OK.

Caviar, say Charlie and Kevin.

Ed and Alan, what are you going to go for?

Talk us through the board if you can.

We only know one more.

We're going to go for the bottom one,

and depending on which part of the country you come from,

it's either scallops or "scollops".

OK. That's the one you're going to go for.

Scallops. So caviar

versus scallops.

Charlie and Kevin went caviar.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

48.

APPLAUSE

48 for caviar.

Ed and Alan went for scallops.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said it.

Scallops is right.

Now, Charlie and Kevin, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

I'm afraid you don't.

36 for scallops.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, Ed and Alan.

After only two questions, you're through to the final 2-0.

Let's do the rest of these.

The first one... I thought the top one was barracuda.

It's barramundi,

which is a sweet, buttery fish. Would have scored three points.

Now, the other two,

we could also just put in an animals round.

Both animals.

-Reindeer?

-Reindeer, absolutely.

Would have scored you 15 points.

-Kangaroo.

-Kangaroo. Absolutely.

Would have scored nine points.

The best answer up there - barramundi.

How many of those have you eaten?

Howe many of those have I eaten?

Two.

Anyone there eaten more than two of those things?

-Have you? How many have you eaten?

-All except the top one.

-Have you?

Yeah.

-You've eaten kangaroo?

-Yeah.

-Where was that?

-Australia. It was like steak.

-Are you sure it was kangaroo?

-Yeah.

-Sometimes there's a bit of horse gets in there.

-Yeah!

It was jumping round the plate a bit.

Thanks very much indeed. So the pair leaving us - I'm afraid to say it's Charlie and Kevin.

As so often happens, people come into the head-to-head having done fantastically well,

and then they come up against a pair like Ed and Alan.

I mean, there aren't that many options to choose from.

-Nookie Bear I'm sure you would have got had you gone first.

-Absolutely.

But still, we'll see you again next time

and I'm sure we'll see you go this far, possibly further.

Thanks so much for playing. Charlie and Kevin.

APPLAUSE

But for Ed and Alan, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Ed and Alan.

You've beaten all the competition,

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Very well done. You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the today of today's show, it stands at £1,750.

CHEERING

Now £500 of that was directly from you. Fantastic second round.

Those two Beatles ones.

-Ed, you've sung a lot of Beatles songs in your time.

-Yeah.

-What's your favourite?

Um...

One that I like singing and always goes down well is I Feel Fine.

We did a gig on Friday night,

and it's one of those, as soon as you hear that opening chord,

the opening riff,

everyone seems to get up.

I don't like it. I'll tell you why I don't like it.

Cos it starts with a vowel. That's not...

I really, really only like songs that begin with consonants.

Yeah.

Really do.

-And that song begins with that feedback.

-Yes, it does.

-Great song.

-It's a great riff,

and it's a great song and it's...

It always goes down well.

Very good. Actually, let's not overlook your brilliant performance in the first round as well,

with the football grounds.

Yeah, two fantastic...

Brunton Park. I went there in 1974

to see Liverpool win 1-0.

Phil Boersma scored.

That's a real football fan all over, that, isn't it?

Back in '74...

And last time in the head-to-head, you lost 2-0.

This time, you won 2-0. That's got to feel great.

Yes, it does. I think...

last time we went second with the first question.

We were first today.

-And we...

-I think that can help.

That can help in the head-to-head.

There we are, with Nookie and scallops. Brilliant.

OK. So, to win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

First, though, you have to choose a category,

and you have five options to choose from. They are...

London or Countries?

I think so.

-Countries?

-I think so, yeah.

-OK.

-Let's do Countries.

-Countries.

-You're going to go for Countries?

-Yeah.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any country in the world

whose land area is larger than that of Texas.

As always, by "country", we mean a sovereign state that is a member of the UN in its own right.

Very, very best of luck, guys.

OK. You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £1,750

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-OK.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

THEY WHISPER

Speak up!

African countries?

Well, easy ones - Australia, Canada...

-India.

-USA.

So, I'm not sure about African ones.

-The Sudan.

-Sudan.

Well, let's throw...

-Let's throw Sudan in as our best one.

-Yes.

-Sudan.

And then go for...

say, Canada.

And...it's a safe one.

Sudan, Canada...

South Africa.

No, not very big.

-Brazil, Argentina...

-Oh, Brazil.

-Brazil?

-Yeah, let's go Brazil.

Brazil, Sudan, Canada.

-Yeah?

-We can do better than Canada.

-OK.

-Brazil and Sudan.

-How many seconds have we got left?

We've got 18 seconds.

Brazil and Sudan...

Any others?

-Any...

-Ten seconds left.

-What about the old Soviet Union?

-Russia?

-Ukraine.

-Ukraine, OK.

Ukraine, Sudan...

Ukraine, Sudan and...

OK, that's your time up.

We were looking for countries larger than the US state of Texas.

I now need your three answers.

-OK.

-Ukraine.

Ukraine.

-Sudan.

-Sudan.

-Sudan.

Um...

-Canada?

-Canada.

-Canada.

OK. Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Sudan?

-Yeah.

Sudan we'll put last.

-What is your least likely?

-Probably Canada.

-Canada.

-We'll put Canada first.

OK, let's put those up on the board in that order.

And here they are. We've got Canada, Ukraine, Sudan.

So we were looking for countries larger than the US state of Texas.

Your first answer was Canada.

This was the one you thought was least likely to be pointless.

Remember, only one of these answers has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot of £1,750.

So let's see how many people said Canada.

It's right.

Well...

Canada taking us down through the 50s.

47.

That's a high score.

APPLAUSE

But that was holding a place for you there. You didn't really want to put Canada in there.

-It's everyone's go-to big country, isn't it, after China, I guess?

-Yes.

-Australia.

-And Australia.

So there we are. Not a pointless answer.

Only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Now, what would you do with £1,750?

Depending on how much we won, possibly buy another guitar. I've already got ten.

So, you know, you can never have enough guitars. A bit like women with handbags.

Never have enough guitars. Alan, how about you?

-Travel.

-Travel.

-Cameras.

All these things.

Travel cameras? There you go.

Go to Paris or Australia for the tennis.

-Very nice.

-Would be nice.

-Very nice indeed.

OK, very best of luck. You have two good answers on the board.

We are looking for countries larger than the US state of Texas.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer - Ukraine.

Again, this has to be correct and it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

For £1,750, let's see how many people said Ukraine.

No.

Not the Ukraine, as it turns out.

-No.

-So you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

So, we are looking for countries larger than the US state of Texas.

Your third and final answer

was Sudan.

You thought this was your best shot at a pointless answer.

Let's find out. To win that jackpot of £1,750,

it has to be right and it has to be pointless.

Let's find out - Sudan.

Is it pointless?

It's right.

OK, so your first answer, Canada,

took us down to 47.

Your second answer, Ukraine, was incorrect.

Sudan's taken us down to five.

APPLAUSE

Unfortunately, I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

So I'm sorry to say you don't win today's jackpot of £1,750,

-which rolls over on to the next show. But we've loved having you on the show.

-Thank you.

What an amazing performance you've put in.

-And you do, of course, get to take home our Pointless trophy. Well done.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Yeah, if Texas was a country, it'd be one of the 40 biggest countries in the world. It's very big.

But Ukraine's slightly smaller. Texas is the size of Ukraine plus Portugal, roughly.

I'll tell you a few of the one-point answers before we go to the pointless ones.

Bolivia, Indonesia, Iran, Kazakhstan,

Mali, Venezuela, Zambia. All of those one-pointers.

Right at the beginning of your 60 seconds,

when you went for Sudan, you said, "Let's go for some African countries."

It's probably where you should have stuck, because there's seven pointless answers - six are African.

Let's take a look at all of them.

Angola would have won you the money.

Chad would have won you the money.

Colombia would have won you the money.

That's the one outside of Africa.

Democratic Republic of Congo,

Mauritania... Very well done if you said that at home.

Mozambique.

And the last one of all, Namibia.

All of those bigger than Texas. All of them would have won you the money.

Very well done if you said any of those at home.

Might you have got any of those?

Mozambique got mentioned early on.

And Eddie said no.

I feel terrible about that.

Well, unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you, Ed and Alan.

It's been lovely having you on the show. Thank you so much.

APPLAUSE

Excellent contestants.

Well, sadly, Ed and Alan didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over to the next show, when we will be playing for £2,750.

-Join us then to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd