Episode 23 Pointless

Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong. This is Pointless, where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

Let's meet today's players.

-And couple number one...

-Hi. I'm Phil, from Blackburn. This is my daughter Caroline, from Cardiff.

-Couple number two...

-Hi, I'm Abi and this is my husband Ed and we're both from Bristol.

-Couple number three...

-Hi, I'm Bernie. This is my best friend Anne. We've travelled from Newcastle.

-Finally, couple number four...

-I'm Euan, this is my friend Neil and we're students in Glasgow.

These are today's contestants.

Thanks all of you. We'll find out more about you as we go along.

That just leaves one more person. He's a man so clever, he's worked out how to live without respiring.

Just watch him - I bet he doesn't breathe once. It's my Pointless friend, Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody.

That's quite a tough comic set-up for me to deal with.

-Without holding my breath for 45 seconds...

-I've been holding mine since I said it for no reason.

-I watch people underwater and hold my breath.

-On television, if someone's underwater, you go...

-I'm fine.

-It's worse if they're underwater and they go to adverts. I hold my breath through them.

OK, thank you. All our questions have been put to 100 people.

Our contestants need the obscure answers they didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer that none of them gave.

Each time that happens, we'll add £250 to the jackpot. It wasn't won last time,

so we add £1,000 to that and today's jackpot starts off at £5,250.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round I'll take an answer from each of you, but no conferring.

The pair with the highest score will be eliminated. Our first category today is...

Oh, good, it's Words.

-Words. Abi, pleased with that?

-Not really, no.

OK, can you all decide who is going first and who is going second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many words ending in "..ink" as they could.

Words ending "..ink". Richard?

Any word with its own entry in the Oxford Dictionary of English that ends "..ink".

No hyphenated words or proper nouns, please. So any word in the Oxford Dictionary ending "..ink".

Very good luck, and at home as well.

Thank you. Now then, Phil and Caroline, you all drew lots and you get to go first.

-Caroline, do you like these words rounds?

-Usually.

-They're more fun when you're not on the first podium.

-What do you do, Caroline?

-I work for a comparison website.

-Very good.

-Are you actually online comparing things?

-I'm in product development, finding new things to compare.

Biscuits!

We have done that in the office. We just haven't put it online.

-What won?

-Custard creams, actually, for dunkability and taste.

I'd go with that. Would you go along with that?

I wouldn't because I use comparethebiscuit.com.

-They went for a Bourbon.

-Which is not necessarily my favourite biscuit, but I respect that.

Caroline, what do you like doing when not comparing biscuits?

I do quite a lot of cooking and we do quite a bit of travelling.

-Good stuff. Now then, words ending in "..ink".

-Yeah.

It's probably not a great choice, but it's the only thing in my head, so I'm going to say clink.

Clink. Clink says Caroline.

Let's see if that's right and how many said it.

38.

-38 for clink.

-I think that's not a bad answer from the first podium.

Amongst other things, it's a slang term for a prison, after a notorious medieval prison in London.

-Now then, Ed, welcome to the show. Where are you from?

-Bristol.

-And what do you do?

-I'm a civil servant.

-Can I ask what branch of the Civil Service?

-I work for Ofsted.

-And what do you do when not working for Ofsted?

-I'm a big music fan. I play in a band.

-What do you play?

-Guitar. And I sing.

-What kind of band is it?

A rock band...of sorts.

Abi, are they good?

They're loud.

That's good. Loud's good in my book. What are you called?

-Bosc Monitor.

-Bosc Monitor.

-Yeah, that's right.

-Sounds good.

Is that a sort of technological thing I should know about?

-No, it's a type of lizard.

-Oh, is it?

-Looks good written down.

-Bosc Monitor.

-Yeah.

Everyone's on the internet now, nobody talks, so how it looks...

That's good. Bosc Monitor. Good. Now then, words ending in "..ink"?

Eh...I'll go out on a limb a little here, maybe,

and stick with the lizard theme and say skink.

Skink. That sounds good. Let's see if skink's right and how many of our 100 people said skink.

Not many, I'd say.

-Oh, two!

-Well done! That's brilliant.

Very well done, Ed. A very good low score. But two people thought of skink!

Cullen skink is a dish, so maybe people remember that. Most don't realise it's a lizard.

A smooth-bodied lizard with very short arms and legs, or none.

-Like a snake?

-Certainly, you'd be forgiven for mistaking it for one.

-What distinguishes a limbless lizard... One of my favourite bands, incidentally.

-Great band.

-The thing about limbless lizard is it looks great written down.

-LAUGHTER

-Anyway, what distinguishes that from a snake?

-A limbless lizard?

Usually, they've got bandages around... around where their arms were.

-That sort of thing.

-That would do it. Anne, welcome to Pointless. From Newcastle. What do you do?

I work for a building society, but I also look after dogs when their owners go on holiday.

Wow. How many dogs can you take in?

I've got a dog of my own, so I tend to take no more than two.

-And your dog's fine with that?

-Yeah, she's quite accepting.

She gets to stay inside while they have to go out to kennels.

-They stay in the house with us.

-Now words ending with "..ink".

Yeah...

I think I better play safe and leave the hard stuff to Bernie.

I'm just going to say...

..blink.

Blink says Anne. Blink. Well, clink scored 38. Let's see what blink scores. How many said it?

Well, it's right.

Oh, 64 for blink!

Yes, a big score there. Another way to tell the difference between a limbless lizard and a snake

-is the speed at which they blink.

-Yeah.

That's where the blinking skink comes from. Known for its blinking.

-Right.

-"Is that a snake? No, it's a blinking skink."

-Good.

Er, Neil...

Welcome back. Neil and Euan, our only returning pair. What happened last time?

Our knowledge of Wales isn't as good as we thought it was. We got caught out on Welsh politicians.

-David Owen.

-David Owen.

-He sounds Welsh! And so did Shirley Williams, but it was...

-Roy Jenkins.

-It was Roy Jenkins we were after.

Anyway, words ending in "..ink".

-Right, I'm thinking I'll be trickier here, so I'll go with rethink.

-Good.

Rethink says Neil. Let's see if that's right and how many said it.

Very well done! Three for rethink.

-Second-lowest score of the round so far.

-That's terrific, Neil. Obviously, a word we all know,

but people don't think of it because of the "re".

When you're playing this round, if you like it, put a "re" on it.

LAUGHTER

OK, we're halfway through. Two was the best score of that pass. Very well done, Ed and Abi.

Then three, Neil and Euan. 38, Caroline and Phil. And then 64, Anne - a punishing score for blink.

Dear me. Bernie, a little bit of pressure on you to come up with a brilliant answer.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

Now then, Euan, welcome back. You and Neil are in your third year reading Medicine.

-That's right.

-Remind us what you get up to.

As well as studying Medicine I work part-time at the tallest cinema in the world in Glasgow.

-The tallest?

-In the world.

-Is it just a very high ceiling?

-We've got 18 screens.

-Really? All piled on top of each other?

-Six levels.

-Fantastic. Which screen do you look after?

-It can vary from shift to shift.

-Right you are.

-Now, Euan, words ending "..ink".

-Well, Neil got us a very good answer there.

I don't think I'll top that, but I'm going to go for stink.

Stink says Euan. The high scorers are Bernie and Anne on 64. So 60 or less sees you through.

Let's see if stink is right. There's your red line.

Well, stink is obviously right.

And it sees you through. Well done. 44. 47, your total.

Neil did the heavy lifting, Euan.

That's another way to tell the difference between a limbless lizard and a snake. The unpleasant odour.

"Is that a snake? No, that's a stinking, blinking skink."

Bernie...

You are the high scorers on 64. Now, Bernie, you are from Newcastle,

-but you're not FROM Newcastle by the sounds of your accent.

-I'm from Melbourne.

-How long have you lived in Newcastle?

-22 years.

-And how was the change in climate?

-I'm quite used to it now. I'd find it very hard to cope with Melbourne's summer now.

-You would!

Now, Bernie, we want a word ending "..ink".

Well, I'm going to go with the "re" theme and say relink.

Relink says Bernie. You're the high scorers.

No red line for you. Let's see how far down it goes.

Oh, bad luck, Bernie! I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer and you score 100 points.

That takes your total to an unbeatable 164. Sorry.

No relink, even with a hyphen.

OK, now then, Abi, what do you do?

-I'm a trainee accountant.

-Down in Bristol?

-I'm based in London. I live in Bristol.

-You commute?!

-I commute on a weekly basis.

-Right, good stuff.

Words ending in "..ink".

I think...

the word chink.

-Yeah, chink.

-Like chink in armour.

-Yeah, chink of light.

OK, no red line for you. Let's see if that's right and how many said chink.

19. Not bad at all. 19 takes your total up to 21.

Well played, Abi. A narrow opening, usually that emits a light.

And, finally, Phil. You've had to wait a long time.

-What do you do?

-I'm retired now, but I was marketing manager for an independent school.

-Where was that?

-In Blackburn.

-What do you do now?

-I seem to have developed an interest in cooking, actually.

-Really? Did you have any interest before?

-I had an interest in eating it, but preparing it's more fun with more time.

-Absolutely. Good stuff.

Now then, "..ink". That's what we want your word to end in.

My original word was Neil's rethink, so I'll just go with wink.

Wink says Phil. You're through already, but let's see how far down the column wink takes us.

70. Wow.

-70 takes your total up to 108.

-Another big score.

Also another way to tell the difference between a limbless lizard and a snake.

"Is that a snake? No, it's a winking, blinking, stinking sti..." Ah, nearly got there!

"Is that a snake? No, it's a winking, stinking, blinking skink!" The expression goes.

-Have you got a good answer for this?

-I've got two. My safe one, which I'd give if I was playing. Uplink.

That would have scored you 2 points.

-Good answer.

-And my dangerous one...bethink.

-You'd score three points.

-Really?

-Uplink is better.

There's some good pointless answers.

Doublethink. As coined by George Orwell in 1984.

-Hotlink, a computer term. Kiddiewink. That's nice, isn't it?

-Yeah.

That was pointless. Nuffink is a pointless answer.

That's an appropriate score.

You can also spell it without the K, but not in this round.

Overdrink.

Skinnymalink, a very thin person. That's rather a nice way... Rather a nice word.

Snowblink. Tiddlywink.

And another computer term, weblink, would have been a pointless answer. Some good ones there.

Let's look at our top ones that most of our 100 people said.

These got mentioned the most. Pink, 84. Some very high scorers.

Link, 87.

And right at the top, an unusually high score - sink with 91 points.

Thanks very much indeed. So the pair who are heading home

with a high score of 164, Bernie and Anne.

Bernie, there was nothing wrong with your approach. It was a good prefix.

-It would just help if it was the right prefix!

-Well, you know...

Bernie, Anne, we'll see you next time. In the meantime, thanks very much for playing.

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

So three pairs remain. At the end of this round we say goodbye to another pair. Now, Euan and Neil,

-Round One last time.

-I know. Dizzy heights.

Two very good answers there. Skink was the best answer - that was yours, Ed - of that round.

Very well done indeed.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is... Geography.

Can you all decide who is going to go first and who is going second?

Whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns... islands of the world.

Islands of the world, Richard.

We'll give you six clues to different islands. Can you name those islands? There's 12 in all.

-Good luck.

-OK, so we are looking for the islands described by these clues and our first board is like this.

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read all of those six again.

Six clues, six islands. Caroline, you are first up.

OK. I think I know four of them.

-This is good.

-Hopefully!

I think I'll go for the bottom one. Birthplace of Napoleon Bonaparte.

I think it's Corsica.

Corsica says Caroline. Let's see if it's right and how many said it.

18!

-Well played, Caroline. Good score.

-Another good start.

You can visit the Maison Bonaparte Museum.

One of the big attractions. I imagine they're all quite small, the Maison Bonaparte.

-Because he was small?

-Spell it out!

I don't know. I assume there's letters and furniture.

-Buy some mugs.

-There's extensive gardens, er, to the front and rear of the property.

-I don't want to buy it!

-LAUGHTER

It's beautifully situated, very close to Corsica train station.

-Corsica Central?

-It's about 90 minutes into London. It's quite a nice commute.

-Yeah.

-I'd be a great estate agent. How easy is that?

-Yeah.

-I might do that.

-I thought you were a bit pushy.

-A little bit needy.

-Yeah, OK.

-Abi...

-Hi.

-These islands.

I think I know... four of those answers.

Oh, gosh.

Right. I think I'm going to go for the island that was awarded the George Cross.

And I think it was Malta.

Malta says Abi, awarded the George Cross in 1942. Let's see how many people knew it was Malta.

Absolutely right.

18 our best score so far.

22 for Malta.

Well played, Abi. Between January and July in 1942,

-there was only one 24-hour period when no bombs fell on Malta.

-Wow.

-Bombed the whole time.

-And received the George Cross for their bravery in the face of that.

-OK, thank you very much.

Neil, you're last on this board. See what you'd like a pop at.

Largest of the Channel Islands. Jersey or Guernsey. I can't remember which one of the two.

Galapagos Islands...no. I only know one island in Canada and that's Prince Edward Island.

I don't know about that either. I don't want to take a risk after how badly we did last time.

-So we'll go with Australian island state and Tasmania.

-Tasmania.

Let's see if Tasmania's right and how many said it.

It's absolutely right.

28!

28 for Tasmania.

Discovered by Abel Tasman, who was enormously popular at the time, like One Direction.

-Massive. Tasmania.

-That's where Tasmania's from. It was crazy.

The largest of the Channel Islands? What would you guess for that?

I'd pick one.

-Guernsey.

-Ooh! Pick one with a detective on it.

-Jersey.

-Yay! That would have scored you 41 points.

The Canadian island?

-That I do know. Newfoundland.

-Absolutely. Scored nine points.

And the best answer is the Galapagos island - Pinta, for one point. Very well done if you said that.

Thank you very much indeed. Let's take a look at the scores.

Best score, Caroline, was yours. Well done. Looking strong on 18.

22 is where we find Abi and Ed.

Then up to 28, Neil and Euan. Quite tightly grouped together.

Euan, you are a little bit ahead. You'll need a low-scoring answer. Best of luck with that.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We'll put six more clues on the board and here they are.

HE READS THE LIST

I'll read those all one final time.

We are looking for the names of these islands from these clues.

-Euan, you need a low-scoring one.

-I know the middle four.

It's a matter of working out which one to go for.

I think the island divided between Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei.

-I'll say Borneo.

-Borneo says Euan.

There's no red line for you. Let's hope Borneo takes you well down. Is it right? How many said it?

It is right.

Oh, it's a good answer. Very well done. Three, Euan!

That's a great answer. Exactly what you needed at this stage. 31's your total.

-Well played. It's over three times the size of the UK, Borneo.

-Thanks, Richard.

-There are the clues. We need the names of the islands. Ed...

-Right.

The high scorers are Euan and Neil on 31. You're on 22. If you can score 8 or less,

-you'll avoid becoming the new high scorers.

-I'm going to go for...

the country near Africa as Madagascar.

OK, the large island country near Africa. Madagascar.

Let's see if that's right. Here is your red line.

Let's find out if Madagascar's right.

It is right.

21.

43, your total, Ed and Abi.

The fourth-largest island in the world. Lemurs have been so safe there for lots of reasons,

but one is monkeys didn't evolve on Madagascar.

-So lemurs were safe.

-Lemurs were safe. That's good.

-That's nice.

-And it's nice not to have monkeys.

-Oh, I like monkeys.

-Do you?!

-I don't like monkeys.

-What are you, nuts?! Monkeys are amazing.

They look nice on things, but I don't like them.

-I'll tell you what I'm not scared of at all - lions.

-Really?

-They don't frighten me.

Ten lions could walk on now, furious and hungry, everyone would run off screaming. Me, I'd be...

Whatever. Just not scared of them. Not scared of them.

-LAUGHTER

-Prove it, next show. Prove it. Bring ten lions on the next show.

See what I do.

OK.

Right, now then... Now, now. I might!

Just...I might.

Now then, Phil, 43 is the high score now.

Ed and Abi on 43. If you can score 24 or less, you'll be through.

-Take us through the board.

-I'm not sure of the top one.

The word Erinmore comes in my head, but I don't know.

The third one is Sicily.

The last one I don't know.

I will go for the fifth one. Part of the kingdom of Denmark. I think that is Greenland.

Greenland. Part of the kingdom of Denmark. There's your red line.

Get below that and you're through. Is it right? How many said it?

Well done! You've done it! 13 for Greenland.

-Takes your total up to 31. Very well done, Phil.

-Nicely played.

If Greenland were a country, it would be the 12th-largest in the world,

but only 5% of it is habitable. Let's look at the rest.

You'd be wrong on the Aran island. It's Inishmore that is the answer there.

And it's a pointless answer as well, which might surprise some people.

Well done if you said it at home. The largest island in the Mediterranean is Sicily.

That would have scored 35 points.

-Do you know the English name of Rapa Nui?

-I'd guess Easter Island.

-Yeah, with the big statues. That would have scored 28 points.

-Thanks.

So at the end of our second round, the losing pair with a score of 43, really not a bad score at all,

but the others tied on 31. They just happened to score less.

So we have to say goodbye to you.

The good news is we get to see you next time. Ed and Abi, thanks so much for playing.

But for the remaining two pairs it's time for the Head to Head.

Congratulations, Euan and Neil, Phil and Caroline. You're one step closer to playing for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £5,250.

To decide which pair plays for that money, you now go head to head. You can confer

and the first pair to win two questions will play for the jackpot. Euan and Neil, out first last time.

-This time, what a change!

-Fantastic.

-What a change! Brilliant answers.

We've had rethink, Borneo... Absolutely fantastic.

Phil and Caroline, first timers.

Just astounding! You can put your heads together. Let's play the Head to Head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns... famous frontmen/women of bands.

-Richard?

-We'll show you five pictures of people who fronted pop or rock bands.

-Tell us with which band they are most associated.

-Let's reveal our five famous frontspeople.

And they are...

There we are. Five frontmen or women of bands. Euan and Neil, you've played best and get to go first.

Em, pretty hard there, but we'll go for D and go M People.

D, M People.

M People. Now Phil and Caroline, the rest of the board is yours. Talk us through it.

-I don't know A. Do you know?

-No.

-B is Gwen Stefani, so would be No Doubt.

C...I think

potentially is... Jacob Followill from Kings of Leon, I think.

D I think is Skin from Skunk Anansie.

And E is Kurt Cobain from Nirvana.

So I think we're going to go...

Do we go for a definite right one? B or something?

-We'll go B, Gwen Stefani from No Doubt.

-You say B, No Doubt. B, No Doubt.

Euan and Neil said M People. Let's see if that's right.

Oh, bad luck! Not M People.

So Phil and Caroline merely have to be correct with No Doubt for B and you will win this point.

Absolutely spot on. Very well done. The point is yours.

18!

18 for No Doubt, which means, Phil and Caroline, you are up one-nil. Richard?

-Well played. Let's go through all of the answers. A is...

-Jim Morrison.

-From The Doors.

12 points.

C is Caleb Followill, but it is the Kings of Leon, so it would have been very good.

It would have scored 5 points.

Now D is a pointless answer. It's not Heather Small from M People.

It is Skye Edwards from Morcheeba. Very well done to anyone who said Morcheeba. A pointless answer.

And E, it's not Kurt Cobain. It's Axl Rose.

Guns N' Roses. He would have scored you 16 points.

Thanks very much. OK, here comes your second question. Euan and Neil, you have to win it to stay in.

And it concerns... French cheeses.

-Richard?

-We'll show you the names of five cheeses all produced in France, but we left out alternate letters.

-Can you fill them in and give us the most obscure?

-Let's reveal our five French cheeses.

-We have got...

-HE READS THE LIST

I'll read those again.

There we are. Five French cheeses. Phil and Caroline, you go first.

-What do you know?

-The obvious ones.

THEY CONFER

OK, we'll go for the fourth one. Camembert.

Camembert. Camembert say Phil and Caroline. Euan and Neil, talk us through the cheese board.

That was the one I was thinking we could have went for. The second one is Brie.

Do you know any of the other ones?

It's going round my head. I don't know...French...

I can't work any of the other three out.

-We'll have to go for Brie, then.

-Why not?

-We'll have to go for the second one as Brie.

Euan and Neil are going for Brie. So Phil and Caroline have gone Camembert.

Is it right? How many said it?

It's right. Oh, it's a big one! 66.

66 for Camembert. Euan and Neil, let's find out what Brie scored.

If you beat 66, you remain in the game. Good luck.

It's... Oh!

91 for Brie!

Well, very well done, Phil and Cam... I nearly said Phil and Camembert!

Very well done, Phil and Caroline. After only two questions, you are through. I'm really hungry!

That's what it is. You are through to the final, two-nil. Very well done.

A punishingly high score, lads.

-Let's fill in the rest of the board. Do you know any?

-All but one.

-The top one?

-Vacherin.

-Three points.

-What's the other one you know?

-Pont L'Eveque.

-Absolutely.

12 points.

The other one is the best answer. One point. Well done anyone who said Morbier. It scored one.

Thanks very much indeed. So I'm afraid Euan and Neil, you've trailblazed

throughout the whole show, but Phil and Caroline whipped it from you.

Brie very high-scoring and M People... Did you know any of the others?

-It was a very bad Head to Head.

-Tough board.

-Tough.

-Bad luck.

It's been lovely having you. Thank you both, Euan and Neil.

But for Phil and Caroline, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Phil and Caroline. You beat all the competition to win our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot, which stands at an impressive £5,250.

Well, you've done very well, you being first timers. Cast your minds back to that first round,

-when we had clink and blink. Were those yours? Oh, wink.

-That was mine.

-Did you think you'd get through?

-No.

-No, but you've done it in a brilliant Head to Head.

Very well played. To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

First, choose a category. You have five options to choose from.

-Yes...

-One there is definitely yours.

-And one is definitely mine.

-So how are we playing this?

-Whose is whose?

-Mine's Football, I'm afraid.

-And mine would be Indie Music.

I certainly couldn't help Caroline much on Indie Music. She might be able to help me with Football.

-You go.

-No, I think, seriously, oldest wins.

-Oldest wins(!) Oh, dear. Football, please.

OK, let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many members

of Arsenal's "Invincibles" as they could. Richard?

During the 2003/2004 season, Arsenal FC didn't lose a single game in the Premier League.

We're looking for anybody who played or was a named substitute at any point in that season.

-Very best of luck.

-OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £5,250 is for just one answer to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. Your time starts now.

-Who have you got?

-Lee Dixon.

-Emmanuel Petit.

-Yeah.

-Goalkeepers?

-Seaman was the main goalkeeper.

-I was thinking of the reserve.

-Nelson. I can't think of his first name. Stuart Nelson?

-That might be a good shout.

-OK.

-Defenders and forwards?

-Em...

-Thierry Henry will be high. Emmanuel Petit might be a good shout.

-I was going to say Petit.

-What about the defence?

-Was Nigel Winterburn there then?

-I'd have thought so.

-Lee Dixon.

-Tony Adams will be a high answer.

-Forwards...

-That wasn't Ashley Cole, was it?

-Might be worth it.

-It's a bit high, though.

-Might be worth a shout.

-OK, which three?

-Stuart Nelson.

-Yeah. Ashley Cole.

-And Emmanuel Petit.

-Unless you can think of any others in the next eight seconds.

-No pressure!

-We've got to go with that.

-Go with those?

-Yeah.

-OK, that's your time up.

We were looking for members of Arsenal's "Invincibles".

-OK, we will go with Stuart Nelson.

-Stuart Nelson.

-Emmanuel Petit.

-Emmanuel Petit.

-And Ashley Cole.

-Ashley Cole. Which is your best shot?

-Stuart Nelson.

-We'll put him last. Least likely?

-Ashley Cole.

-Ashley Cole.

-Let's put those up in that order.

We have got...

We were looking for members of Arsenal's "Invincibles". Ashley Cole was your least likely.

Remember, only one of these has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of £5,250.

-What would you do with that, Phil?

-I've got a big birthday coming up in a couple of years' time

and I've always wanted to go and watch England play cricket abroad. They're in the West Indies that year.

-Very good indeed. Caroline?

-I'm going with him!

She is now. Good. OK, so your first answer was Ashley Cole. This has to be correct and pointless

for you to win that jackpot. Let's find out. Ashley Cole. Is it right?

Well, Ashley Cole is right.

How far down the column is he going to take us? Down he goes.

Into the 20s. If this goes to zero, you leave with £2,000...

Oh!

I just reduced your prize there. I just said you would leave here with £2,000.

Luckily, it didn't get down to zero! £5,250, of course, is what is at stake.

Five for Ashley Cole. That's a great first answer.

And you weren't sure about that.

Only two more chances to win today's jackpot. Members of Arsenal's "Invincibles".

Your next answer was Emmanuel Petit. More certain.

Let's hope it goes further down the column. Five for Ashley Cole.

Emmanuel Petit has to be right and pointless to win that jackpot.

So for £5,250, how many people said Emmanuel Petit?

Oh!

-Oh.

-Yeah.

-That was unexpected.

-Yeah.

-Your first two answers did the opposite of what you thought

they were going to do.

Only one more chance to win today's jackpot. Everything is riding on Stuart Nelson.

Arsenal's "Invincibles". This, you thought, was your best shot at a pointless answer.

It has to be pointless for you to win. Stuart Nelson. How many people said it? Is it right?

No! No, bad luck!

Oh, bad luck. A brilliant answer with Ashley Cole.

The one you weren't sure of! And the other two incorrect,

so you didn't manage to find that pointless answer and don't leave with the jackpot of £5,250.

That will roll over to the next show. We've loved having you. An amazing performance.

Just one show from you and you take home the Pointless trophy.

Yeah, sorry. That was a valiant attempt. Stuart Nelson, the goalie?

It's Stuart Taylor, the man you were thinking of.

And Stuart Taylor was a pointless answer. I'll take you through some one-pointers. Sylvain Wiltord.

Edu. Gilberto Silva. Graham Stack, another goalie. Kolo Toure.

Pascal Cygan. Jose Antonio Reyes. All would have scored you one.

Here are the pointless answers. David Bentley had one start.

Tavlaridis, er, the Greek fella.

He had one start on the bench in that season. Terrific answer.

Francis Jeffers, also one start on the bench. Didn't quite work out at Arsenal.

Gael Clichy, now at Man City. He was a pointless answer.

Jeremie Aliadiere, whose surname has nine letters in it, but five syllables.

Quite impressive. Aliadiere.

Justin Hoyte, the defender who went on to Middlesbrough.

Kanu, who started three games. Scored a goal.

And there's two reserve goalies, Rami Shaaban and Stuart Taylor.

-I knew exactly who you meant when you said it.

-Even worse,

our club is Blackburn and Bentley and Jeffers have both played for us.

Oh, well, unfortunately, we do have to say goodbye to you. We've loved having you both.

Phil and Caroline!

Sadly, Phil and Caroline didn't win our jackpot. It rolls over to the next show. We'll play for £6,250!

-Join us next time. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd