Episode 36 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong.

Welcome to Pointless, the quiz where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.

-Let's meet today's players.

-APPLAUSE

-Couple number one.

-Hi. I'm Stewart. This is Stephen. We're both from Glasgow.

-Couple number two.

-Hi, I'm Tom. This is my older sister, Gemma.

We're originally from Southampton but now living in London.

-Couple number three.

-My name's Jon. This is my wife, Lou. We're from Harrogate in North Yorkshire.

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hi, I'm Karen.

This is my friend, Kevin. We quiz together in the West Midlands.

-And these are today's contestants.

-APPLAUSE

We'll find out more about all of you as the show goes along.

That leaves one more person to introduce.

He's so clever he can do the Times crossword in ten minutes - without even using a pen!

-It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

-Hiya.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hi, everyone. Hiya.

-Afternoon.

-Good afternoon.

-What a show we had last time!

-Wow!

-It was a cracker.

The only people who witnessed it were Kevin and Karen, our returners.

Kevin got a pointless answer and then got 100 points.

That is some way to announce yourself to Pointless!

It'll be interesting to see how it goes for Kevin and Karen.

-But then, Luke and Carolyn.

-Yeah! What about that?!

-Carolyn from Boston. They got a category on American politics.

-Very lucky.

-Absolutely rinsed it.

-Took home £9,000.

-I was impressed. Luke seemed to be advising her on the answers.

They were good, actually. They got pointless answers. They won the head-to-head two-nil.

-They cleaned up.

-Very good indeed. What sort of show have we got today, Richard?

-I would say "mediocre".

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-I'm going to say seven out of ten.

-I'd take seven.

-I lie.

It's a good one. The first round is nice.

-Yeah?

-You know, every now and again a pair comes along, you think, "They're going to be good"?

-Yeah.

I think Stewart and Stephen, don't you? They've got that look.

-THEY think so, certainly.

-LAUGHTER

No, they do have that look.

Now, all our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer, an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time, we add £250 to the jackpot.

As you'll have gathered, Carolyn and Luke won the jackpot last time.

So today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

-Who said, "Nyuh!"?

-LAUGHTER

-Was that you, Lou?

-Yeah.

-Right, off you go.

LAUGHTER

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you but there is to be no conferring.

Whichever pair has the highest score will be heading home.

Our first category today is...

..Pop songs. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

-Do you want to go?

-Yeah.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

..UK Number One singles with one-word titles. Richard.

On each pass, we'll show you the names of seven singles and the year in which they were Number One.

Tell us the artist that had a Number One with them, please.

There's going to be 14 artists to guess. Good luck.

Thanks very much indeed. We're looking for the artist or groups who had hits with these Number Ones.

Our first board reads like this...

..I'll read those one final time...

Stephen, Stewart, you drew lots and today you're going to go first.

Stephen, welcome to the show.

-Hello.

-Good to have you here. Richard has high hopes for you.

-Let's hope we live up to them.

-Are these well placed?

-Maybe, maybe. We'll see.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-What do you do, Stephen?

-I am a support assistant for adults with learning difficulties.

I also am training to become a counsellor.

Right you are. What do you do in your spare time?

I love to follow football.

Play, watch - all football.

Cinema. I've got a cinema card.

I'm not giving away strong points at all. But, yeah...

-So how are you on music, Stephen?

-It's not my strongest point.

But I know a couple.

One I know much more than the other.

I'm just going to stick with it and stay safe.

-Grenade and Bruno Mars, please.

-Bruno Mars for Grenade says Stephen.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Bruno Mars.

It's right.

Not a bad score at all, Stephen. 16 for Bruno Mars.

Good start, Stephen. He'd catch a grenade for the woman he loved.

I don't think he's boyfriend material.

-He's not after he's done that.

-LAUGHTER

He also says he'd put his hand on a blade and jump in front of a train!

-Phew.

-LAUGHTER

-Come on, Bruno!

-None of this should be called upon.

-At least on a first date!

-LAUGHTER

Gemma, welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here.

-What do you do, Gemma?

-I work as an account manager in an advertising and design agency.

Any particular sphere of advertising you specialise in?

It's recruitment marketing, more specifically graduate recruitment.

We get to go out on campus and do lots of on-campus activities and games.

-It's really good fun.

-That does sound fun. What are your hobbies?

I really enjoy shopping. I think, like a lot of girls.

And going to visit friends. Lots of my friends are all over the country.

So weekends away to visit them, have drinks and catch up.

Good stuff. Now, here we are, one-word Number One singles.

-How do you feel about this board?

-I knew three.

One of them's gone.

I think the two that are left are going to be quite high-scoring.

I'm hoping Tom can save us in the next round.

I'm going to go with...

-Vogue, Madonna.

-Vogue, Madonna, says Gemma.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Madonna.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-Wow! 53!

-53 for Madonna.

-That's a big score, isn't it?

Four weeks at Number One. 53 points, Gemma.

-Lou.

-Hello.

-Welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Lou?

-I paint murals for children.

-Oh, very nice!

-Do you take commissions?

-Yeah.

-Do people say what they want?

Mainly themes. People say a princess themed room or jungle themed room.

I also do some work in play centres and schools, too.

What's the weirdest mural you've done, Lou?

I haven't actually painted a weird mural.

However, I was requested to paint a naked woman on a motorbike once.

Which I didn't take up, that commission, for various reasons.

-She must have been freezing!

-LAUGHTER

-It was a picture I had to copy.

-There's a care centre I'd like to visit!

LAUGHTER

-Lou, what do you like doing in your spare time? That's a bit of a pastime as well.

-It is.

We have two young children.

Most of their hobbies take up a lot of my time ferrying them around different places.

I do a bit of voluntary work as well.

I help out at our daughter's school

-and raise some money for them on the committee.

-Good stuff. Now...

We've got a nice low score of 16, quite a high score of 53.

-How do you find this board?

-A couple I knew have gone.

I know another one, but I think it's going to be high-scoring.

I might take a bit of a punt on something else.

So I'm going to go... I can see Jon looking!

I'm going to go with Young, with Tulisa?

Young, Tulisa.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Tulisa for Young.

It's right.

Wow! Well done, Lou. Lowest score so far.

That's well worth the risk, Lou. Her debut single and her only Number One to date.

-And, Karen?

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Our only returning pair.

-We are.

Great to have you back amongst us. Remind us what you do, Karen.

-I work for an educational IT company.

-And remind us what happened last time.

-We got to round two last time.

-That's right.

-Kevin shone in round one.

-He got a pointless answer in round one.

-Let's dwell on that for now.

-LAUGHTER

Karen, you're the last person to have this board.

It is your privilege to take us through and fill in all the blanks.

I can't quite because I don't know Lyla.

Vincent is Don McLean.

Hello is Lionel Richie.

And I think I'm going to go for Blockbuster which is the Sweet.

The Sweet, says Karen. Lou, was that nearly one of yours?

I knew it was a glam rock band but I couldn't remember which one.

The Sweet, let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said the Sweet.

It's right!

Ten's our lowest score so far.

25 for the Sweet.

Five weeks at Number One for Sweet with Blockbuster. Well played.

Let's fill in the rest of the board.

You're right about Vincent. It's Don McLean.

15 points. It would have been a better answer, surprisingly.

Hello WAS Lionel Richie. That's a big scorer, though. 38.

-Do you remember Lyla?

-No.

-It was a Number One hit for Oasis.

-Oh.

-And would have scored six points.

Lyla the best answer up there. Well done if you said that.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

Ten, Lou. Lovely low score.

That sets you and Jon up pretty well. Then up to 16.

Where we find Stephen and Stew.

Up to 25, where we find Karen and Kevin.

Then up to 53, Gemma and Tom.

Tom, Gemma said she was going to leave you a bit of work to do.

She's left you a hell of a lot to do but I think you're up to it.

-I do, too.

-I really do.

-I'm going to give it my best shot.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

We're going to put seven more one-word singles on the board, and here they are...

..I'll read those one last time...

We are looking for the artist who released these Number One singles.

Kevin, we need a nice low score from you

to make sure you get through to the next round.

Remind us what you do, Kevin.

Yes, I run my own company supplying engineering supplies to manufacturing companies.

Very good, and in your spare time you're a quizzer?

Yes, I spend a lot of time quizzing and also play golf.

I spend as much time as I can with my two grandsons as well.

-The Smooth Operators.

-That's it, the name of our quiz team.

-RICHARD CHUCKLES

-What?

-I thought that was the name he gave to his grandsons.

-LAUGHTER

-One's called Alexander.

-Ah! Is he?

-Yes, indeed.

That's an even better name than Smooth Operators.

-It'd be brilliant to give your grandsons a name collectively, like a band.

-Yeah.

"I'm going to look after the Smooth Operators this weekend."

-Not a bad idea at all.

-LAUGHTER

-Kevin?

-Right, well, looking at the board, um...

I'm a big fan of music,

but normally before 1990.

There are a few that I do know.

I'm going for one from 1998, Goodbye.

I believe that's the Spice Girls.

Goodbye, the Spice Girls. Let's see if that's right.

You're on 25. The high-scorers on 53 are Gemma and Tom.

27 or less sees you comfortably into the next round.

There's your red line. Get below that, you are in round two.

It's right.

You've done it, Kevin.

Wow! You really have done it! Four!

That's a great answer. Lovely low score. 29 is your total.

Well done, Kevin. Back on track.

The first single not to feature Geri's vocals.

-Jon, welcome.

-Hello.

-What do you do, Jon?

I'm a business development manager for a large communications company.

-What are your hobbies?

-I play five-a-side football every week.

I love music, going to concerts.

I'm also a season ticket holder with the Leeds Rhinos rugby league team.

-What's the best gig you've been to in the last few years?

-Oh!

I'm a big fan of the Boss, classic rock, Bruce Springsteen.

Bruce last year. We're seeing him again this year.

-Wow! He's your boss? That is amazing.

-Jon's in the E Street Band!

-LAUGHTER

-Did you not know that?

-I can dream.

Good stuff. Now, Jon, there's a board full of...

Well, not quite full. Mostly full of unanswered songs.

What are you going to go for? You're on ten, by the way.

If you can score 42 or less, you are assured of a place in round two.

OK, I think I know most of them.

It's just picking a low one.

I'll plump for Fame from 1982.

-Irene Cara.

-Irene Cara?

Irene Cara. Here's your red line. Get below that and you're through.

How many people said Irene Cara?

You've done it!

Very well done.

Our lowest total so far.

Good answer, Jon. On the soundtrack of the movie and the TV show.

Flashdance - What A Feeling was her other big hit.

-Now then, Tom.

-Hello.

-Now.

-Yes. Gemma is relying on you here.

-She is.

-I think she's kind of expecting you to get a minus score.

-Yeah.

-Hasn't yet happened. So, under the bottom of the column is what we're after.

-OK.

-What do you do, Tom?

-I'm a trainer for a foreign exchange company.

Very good. And what do you get up to in your spare time?

In my spare time, I watch films, listen to music, see my friends.

The regular, standard things. I'm a big film fan.

-That takes up a lot of my time.

-OK. Now, what are you going to go for?

I think I'm going to go for...

..Stan, 2000, and say Eminem.

Eminem for Stan. Well, you're the high-scorer.

No red line for you. You just have to hope this goes down a long way.

Best of luck. Eminem, is it right? How many people said it?

It is right.

-APPLAUSE

-29 takes your total up to 82, Tom.

It's another big score. All sorts of controversy about Stan, its lyrics.

Giles Foden, the novelist who wrote Last King Of Scotland,

compared it to the Victorian poet Robert Browning.

As in, "This is no way as good as Robert Browning"?

-LAUGHTER

-No, he did not.

-I'm guessing not.

-Stew.

-Hi there.

-Stew.

We come to you last.

You have a relatively straightforward task, actually.

You have to score 65 or less to see your way into the next round.

-Stew, what do you do?

-I'm currently a legal research assistant at Strathclyde University...

-Is that as fun as it sounds(?)

-No. It's mostly admin work.

I'm starting as a trainee solicitor with the Procurator Fiscal Service in August.

And what do you like doing when you're not doing your legal stuff?

-I love football, like Stephen does.

-Who do you follow?

-Glasgow Rangers.

Or who Rangers used to be. Rangers Newco, I think they're called now.

You're the last person to have this board. Why not talk us through it?

I only know for sure one that's left.

I've no idea who Heart's by.

I know Help! is by the Beatles.

I've got Mercy going round my head but I can't think who the artist is.

And I'm not going to sing it!

I'll have to go for Help! by the Beatles.

-Which I think is going to be a high score.

-I tell you what.

If you sing a bit of Mercy, we might consider...

-LAUGHTER

-..commuting your score.

OK.

I might even have the wrong song but I think it goes...

# I'm begging you for mercy # RICHARD TAPS ALONG

Ah, that is good.

-Stephen could help.

-For that, I'm prepared to take one off your total.

LAUGHTER OK. Let's hope it helps.

All right, you want to be scoring 65 or less.

The high-scorers, obviously, are Gemma and Tom.

This is what that looks like. Here comes your red line.

Let's see if you can get below that with the Beatles.

Ooh, no! Bad luck!

That scores you 70.

In your heart of hearts, you know it actually scores you 69.

It takes your total up to 86.

-In your heart of hearts, you know that's 85.

-Ah!

I told you Stewart and Stephen would do well, didn't I? I just knew it.

Mercy, you got the right song and it's by...

-Duffy.

-Ah.

-And it would have seen you very safely through. 15 points.

Cars, you'll know.

-Gary Newman.

-Yeah. Would have scored you 20 points.

The top one is a pointless answer.

It was a Number One hit for three weeks.

-One of their many Number One hits.

-Pet Shop Boys?

It WAS the Pet Shop Boys. Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done if you got that at home.

Thank you very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round, I'm sorry to say,

Stew and Stephen, much touted - the favourites -

to go through to the final in this show, but not today.

-We have to say goodbye to you. Far too soon.

-Thank you.

-It's not a terrible score.

-No.

The good news is, we'll see you again next time.

-Stew and Stephen, thanks for playing.

-Thank you very much.

For the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

Only three pairs remain, and there's only room for two pairs in our head-to-head round.

We'll say goodbye to another pair at the end of this round.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round two is...

..Formula 1. Can you decide in your pairs who's going first and who's going second?

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

-..Formula 1 World Champions. Richard.

-Xander's going to show you a list of nationalities.

We're looking for the name of any driver of any of those nationalities to have ever won

the Formula 1 World Drivers' Championship.

Anyone who's won that Drivers' Championship from 1950 to 2012

from one of the following nationalities. Good luck.

Yes, we're going to put six nationalities up on the board.

They're going to remain up for the whole round - up the line and down again.

Name any Formula 1 champion of one of those six nationalities, and here are those nationalities...

..I'll read those one last time...

..Anybody of any one of these nationalities

who's won a Formula 1 Drivers' Championship.

Tom, do you follow sport closely?

I follow some sports. Tennis is definitely my number one sport.

But I do watch Formula 1.

I've been known to get up at four o'clock in the morning to watch the Australian Grand Prix.

Ooh, this is good. So this is your time to shine, Tom.

-We were looking for a lovely low score in the last round.

-It's recent champions.

Which I'm a bit worried will be high answers.

I don't know too much going back.

I'm going for Finnish and I'm going to say Mika Hakkinen.

Mika Hakkinen says Tom. Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

It is right.

APPLAUSE

Not bad, Tom.

Well played, Tom. He won back-to-back world titles in 1998 and 1999.

-Lou.

-Yes.

-Now, Lou, there was some heavy sighing from you.

There was. I think it's the most boring thing ever.

LAUGHTER

-Formula 1?

-Yeah.

-People driving really fast?

-Round and round. Yeah.

-Yeah. Right.

-So...

Well, I was going to say Mika Hakkinen, actually.

That was my punt for Finnish. I'm going to have to play it safe.

-I hope. And say Ayrton Senna.

-Ayrton Senna.

Ayrton Senna, says Lou. Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said Ayrton Senna.

Well, it's right. 23 is our only score...

-APPLAUSE

-44 for Ayrton Senna.

Won three world titles. Considered by many to be the greatest Formula 1 driver of all time.

-Karen.

-Hello.

-Formula 1.

-Yeah.

-Is this a topic you're happy with?

-Yup.

I'm going to say...

Alan Jones.

-Alan Jones?

-Yes.

Kevin, tell me, when you do that...

-LAUGHTER

-..is that you thinking?

Or is that you weeping?

I'm thinking that she's correct.

-But I'm thinking that's the one I was going to say.

-Sorry, Kev.

Alan Jones, says Karen. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Alan Jones.

It's right. 23 is our low score at the moment.

Alan Jones takes us way past that.

Very well done, Karen. That's a great answer!

APPLAUSE

The Australian Alan Jones. Good answer. Won in 1980.

First person to win with the Williams team.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

Karen! Alan Jones! A great answer!

Karen and Kevin looking set fair, I'd say, for the head-to-head.

Up to 23, Tom and Gemma. Probably likewise.

Unless, Jon, you can do something clever with your 44.

We need a low score from you in this next pass. Best of luck.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

Kevin, we're looking for any man of any these nationalities

who has ever won the Formula 1 World Drivers' Championship.

Karen did very well.

-She did very well.

-Is this a good area for you?

-Not really.

With Karen scoring such a low score,

I'm going to try and play it a little bit safe.

I'm going for a British one, Mr James Hunt.

James Hunt says Kevin.

Now, 44 is the high score.

If you can score 39 or less, Kevin, you're in the head-to-head.

There is your red line. Can you get below it?

It's right.

Yup! You've done it.

APPLAUSE

Lovely low total of 11. Brilliant performance from the last podium.

A low score for James Hunt! He won the world title in 1976. He liked to party.

He had a testing session in 1977.

-He pulled his car over to the side of the track and went to sleep.

-LAUGHTER

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Jon.

Jon, you're the high-scorers by a distance.

But you have to take a look at Gemma.

You have to deduce whether or not that is the face of an F1 fanatic!

LAUGHTER

It could be, but at the very least,

it requires from you a low score, IF you are to survive.

I can't take anything for granted so I'm going to have to take a risk.

I can think of quite a few.

I'm sure there was an Italian driver in the '50s,

-Alberto Ascari?

-Ooh.

Alberto Ascari. Lou is terrified.

-LAUGHTER

-Alberto Ascari. No red line for you.

You just have to hope this is correct and goes a long way down.

Alberto Ascari, is that right? How many people said it?

It is right!

This is a good answer, Jon.

Well done, indeed! That's fantastic!

Two points for Alberto Ascari.

Takes your total up to 46.

A terrific answer, Jon. It's all you could have done.

He won the world title in '52 and '53. That's going back some!

Now, Gemma. Gemma, we have a game on our hands here.

-You have to score 22 or less to stay in the game.

-OK.

-How is your F1?

-Awful.

SIGHS

-I'm just going to go with Nigel Mansell, I think.

-OK.

Nigel Mansell. You want to score 22 or less. That's what that looks like.

Get below that red line with Nigel Mansell you are in the head-to-head.

Well, he's right.

Ooh, no!

-You needed 22.

-GEMMA:

-Oh, no!

Good effort, Gemma.

-I'm afraid JUST not quite enough.

-It's only fair after that happened to us.

-You're the high-scorers by two points.

-He won it in '92.

As you say, exactly the same thing happened to you.

It's tough luck, cos it's a perfectly good answer.

-Any other names were in your head?

-I was thinking Damon Hill.

Maybe Graham Hill, but...

Damon Hill would have scored you 38, so he wouldn't have helped you.

-Graham Hill would have scored you 16 points.

-Ooh!

-Ah!

Would have seen you safely through. It would have been a brave one to go for.

It bodes well for the next show, I suspect.

There's only one pointless answer out of these nationalities and he's a Brit.

And it is Mike Hawthorn. Well done if you said that...

..Keke Rosberg would have scored two, the Finn.

Kimi Raikkonen would have scored nine.

John Surtees would have scored two. Alan Jones we've had on four.

Let's look at the biggest answers that most of our 100 people said...

..Thanks very much indeed.

So, Gemma and Tom, I'm afraid that means you will be leaving us.

-It's not a massive score, 48, but I'm afraid you are the highest by only two points.

-It was close.

And as Richard said, this bodes very well for the next time we see you.

-I hope so.

-Meantime, we say goodbye and we look forward to the next show. Gemma and Tom.

BOTH: Thank you.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, it's time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Kevin and Karen, Jon and Lou,

you're one step closer to the chance to play for our jackpot, which stands at £1,000.

We have to decide who's going through to the final and to do that, you're going to go head-to-head.

The difference is, you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that £1,000 jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. We're going to play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Here comes your first question, and it concerns...

..Lou, I haven't yet read a board out without you going, "Nyuh!"

LAUGHTER

You were furious at the beginning about the money.

I could read anything out there. I could say Alphabetti Spaghetti

-and you'd go, "Nyuh!"

-LAUGHTER

-Richard.

-We're going to show you five visual clues to surnames of Presidents of the United States.

Can you give us the most obscure of these, please?

Let's reveal our five Presidents. Here they are, we have got...

..Five visual clues

to Presidents.

Kevin and Karen, you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

There's three that we do know.

Karen THINKS she knows E, but we're going for one that we do.

We're going to go for C, and that's Truman.

Truman say Kevin and Karen.

Jon and Lou, can you talk us through the board?

We think we know A, C and D.

We know who that is in B, but can't think of a President called Arthur.

That's Arthur Christmas.

Based on the others being surnames like Hoover and Truman,

-we might gamble...

-And Garfield.

We might gamble there was one called Arthur.

-Shall we have a punt for that?

-Yeah.

-Let's hope there was a President called Arthur.

-Either that or Christmas.

-Yeah. Less likely.

-You're going for Arthur.

We have Truman and we have Arthur. Kevin and Karen said Truman.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Truman.

It is right.

Ooh, very well done. Seven for Truman.

Now, Jon and Lou have taken a bit of a punt. They've gone out on a limb.

Arthur, they are saying.

You've no idea if there was a US President Arthur. Let's find out.

It's right!

Seven is what Truman scored.

Arthur smashes past that!

Very well done, indeed.

Good reasoning, Jon and Lou. It's earned you that question.

After one question, you're up one-nil.

Well done. It's Chester A Arthur. 1881 to '85, he was President.

Well done on recognising the film.

Chester A Arthur is the best up there. Nothing you could have done.

A is James Garfield. Would have scored you 41.

A big score for Herbert Hoover.

He would have scored you 87. Never been so popular, Hoover.

E, if you recognise the character, you'll know it's Cleveland,

for Grover Cleveland, and that would have scored 12 points.

The best two answers you gave us, there.

Here comes your second question.

Kevin and Karen, you have to win this to stay in the game. You don't answer it first, I'm afraid.

It concerns...

-..Peanuts characters, Richard.

-We're getting very cartoony.

We're going to give you five clues to the names of characters from Charles Schulz's Peanuts cartoons.

-Can you name the most obscure?

-Let's reveal our five clues.

We have got...

..I'll read those one last time...

..Five clues to characters from Peanuts.

Jon and Lou, you go first.

WHISPERING

We think we know some names, we're just trying to match them in.

We're going to take a bit of a punt.

"Usually carried a blanket", we're going to say Linus.

Linus usually carried a blanket, say Jon and Lou.

-Kevin and Karen, talk us through the rest of the board.

-Wish we could.

-You need to win this point.

-But we really don't know.

-So we're going to go with Snoopy.

-For the beagle.

-For the beagle.

-OK.

-Cos we don't know the others!

Linus versus Snoopy. John and Lou said Linus.

Let's see if that's right and how many people said Linus.

It's right.

APPLAUSE

Kevin and Karen said Snoopy for the beagle whose alter-egos include Joe Cool. Snoopy.

It's right.

But it needs to beat 18. Is it going to beat 18?

-28, I'm afraid. No, it's not.

-APPLAUSE

Bad luck, Kevin and Karen, but well done, Jon and Lou.

After only two questions, you're through to the final.

-Well played, Jon and Lou. Kevin and Karen, no idea on that top one?

-No.

That's Charlie Brown and it would have got you through as well.

-Amazingly. I think the description confused people.

-Yeah.

-The mini musical genius?

-Schroeder?

Schroeder, yeah. That's the best answer there.

-And constantly surrounded by a cloud of dust?

-Pigpen.

-Yeah.

He would have scored you five. Very well done if you got all those.

Thanks very much. So, the pair who'll be leaving us at the end of the head-to-head, Kevin and Karen.

That's against the grain of play.

You played so well throughout today's show.

I'm afraid you've come up against two subjects that...

Actually, no. You did brilliantly. Truman was a great answer.

-But Peanuts didn't play to your strengths, did it?

-No.

And Jon and Lou were all over that with Linus.

So I'm afraid this time, it really is goodbye.

-It's been a real pleasure having you on the show - Kevin and Karen.

-APPLAUSE

But for Jon and Lou, it's time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Jon and Lou, you've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot, and at the end of today's show it stands at £1,000.

-Lou, considering you've had all these boards that you haven't liked, you've done very well.

-Very well.

-You have.

-Yeah. Sneaked through.

-You've snuck through!

-JON LAUGHS

As always, the first thing you have to do is choose a category.

You have a choice of four. They are...

..Oh, God! Oooh!

-They're not good.

-Oh, they're horrendous.

-Really bad!

-We haven't even been to Madrid.

-No, haven't been to Madrid.

Didn't like Shakespeare at school.

-Not into American football.

-You were at SCHOOL with Shakespeare?

LAUGHTER

-What could Natural Sciences be?

-I can't think what Natural Sciences would be.

Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe we take a punt.

-Cos we don't know...

-It's so obscure it could be anything.

-True.

-I think we'd have more chance at Natural Sciences than anything.

-And if we don't get it, we've got a trophy.

-We have.

Natural Sciences it is. That's what you're going to go for. Richard.

It's worth remembering with these categories, because you've got three options,

if you want music or film it's not going to come up as music or film.

The Madrid one might have had a very easy sport or film category within it.

Let's look at your three categories for Natural Sciences.

Can you give us...

..Good luck at home and in the studio.

You've got a minute to come up with three answers.

To win that jackpot of £1,000, just one of those answers needs to be pointless.

The answers that you provide can come from any of these categories.

It could be two from one or three from one or one from each.

As long as they are from...

..you should be fine.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-We are.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

Your time starts now.

-Let's do the elements.

-Focus on elements.

-Go on, then.

Xenon. Neon.

Argon. Boron.

-Mercury. Manganese?

-Manganese.

A lot of them end in "ium". There's hassium.

-What about a scientist with an SI unit?

-I can only think of Faraday.

I don't know books.

-Was Celsius a scientist?

-Could have been.

-Who knows?

Why don't we do the elements?

-Which ones? We're halfway through.

-Xenon, maybe?

Manganese?

Xenon. Manganese. And...?

Neon. Argon. Boron. They're quite common.

Xenon, neon maybe and...?

-Manganese.

-And manganese.

-OK.

-OK.

-Yeah, that's it.

-OK? We're going to stop the clock.

You have your three answers. Very well done, you.

-I need to know those three answers.

-We're going for xenon.

-Xenon.

-Neon.

-Neon.

-And manganese.

-And manganese.

-Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless?

-Probably xenon.

Xenon, we'll put that last. Your least likely?

-Manganese?

-Manganese.

We'll put manganese first.

Let's put those answers on the board in that order...

..Now, very, very best of luck. Your first answer was manganese.

If this is correct and pointless, you will leave here with £1,000.

It's not our biggest ever jackpot, but it's still quite nice.

-It is.

-You'd be very happy if you walked out of a bookie's with that in your pocket.

-What would you do with that, Jon?

-It'd pay for a nice trip away.

Take our girls, Georgia and Olivia away for a little trip somewhere.

-Treats.

-Good stuff.

Well, very, very best of luck.

Let's find out. Is manganese an element without an I in its name?

It's right!

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you will leave here with £1,000.

It's into single figures...

You've done it!

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Very well done, indeed. That is fantastic! Brilliant!

-Brilliant.

-Superb!

-It's great!

-I didn't expect that. That's amazing!

-Yeah!

Well, congratulations! Manganese is a pointless answer.

Which means you leave with that jackpot of £1,000. Brilliant!

LOU LAUGHS

Didn't expect that.

I'll be honest, I thought manganese was an incorrect answer.

I was thinking, "Magnesium, surely." But no, manganese.

There you are! Just goes to show how little I know. Richard.

An object lesson in how to play that end game.

You picked a slightly tricky category and within it, you went for the option you knew something about.

Terrifically well done. The other two answers weren't pointless.

You would have scored eight for neon and four for xenon.

Manganese was your big chance, so very well done.

Let's look at the pointless answers in all the categories,

in case you were concentrating on a different one...

..River Out Of Eden also was a pointless answer...

..Well done if you said any of those.

And a few more elements that don't have the letter I...

..Also lanthanum, a pointless answer.

Very well done if you got pointless answers in any of those categories.

And very well done in the studio. Brilliantly played.

Thanks, once again, to our winning players, Jon and Lou,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

APPLAUSE

It's fantastic!

Join us next time on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE

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