Episode 47 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you. I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless, the quiz show

where you are rewarded for knowing obscure answers.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi. I'm Clare. This is Emilie.

We are friends from Cheltenham.

Couple number two.

Hi. I'm Graham. This is my partner Anita.

We're from Walton-on-Thames.

-Couple number three.

-I'm Paul.

This is my lovely daughter Sharleen. We're from Shoreham-by-Sea.

And finally, couple number four.

I'm Tom. This is Phil, and we're friends from Glasgow.

And these are today's contestants.

APPLAUSE

Thanks, all of you. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

The only man in Britain who loves trivia more than internet videos of kittens.

It's my Pointless friend - it's Richard.

Hiya.

APPLAUSE Hi, everybody. Hiya.

I do like trivia. But I do prefer internet videos of kittens, to be fair.

Yeah?

You don't really, do you? You prefer trivia, don't you?

If I had to choose between trivia and internet videos of kittens...

If one of them had to be banned forever, I would ban trivia.

LAUGHTER

What a lovely show we had last time.

-Oh, that was lovely!

-Bex and Greg, and they were so lovely,

and Greg, he had the face of a boy and the voice of a 50-year-old man.

And they were so nice, and they won the jackpot.

They got a really nice jackpot.

And they really deserved it, really earned it.

-Yeah.

-Absolutely lovely.

We've got two pairs back - Clare and Emilie, who were just knocked out by them in the head-to-head.

-Sorry about the money going, but they were lovely.

-Yeah, they deserved it.

Do I believe that?!

Really!

They were a good laugh.

And then we had Thomas and Phil.

They got knocked out on a rude word.

Yeah, they did - Round 2.

-We were looking for Lily Allen singles.

-He just swore at me!

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this,

"but I'm going to say a very, very rude word.

"I'm really, really sorry to say it, but it's going to be my answer."

And then it was wrong.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

an answer none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As you'll have gathered, Bex and Greg won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, I'll take an answer from each of you, but there's to be no conferring.

At the end of the round, whichever pair has the highest score will be leaving us.

OK, our first category today is...

USA. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Let's find out what that question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

..as they could. US states that do not contain the letter O.

-Richard.

-Simple one, this one.

Just looking for any of the 50 US states without the letter O in their name.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now then.

Emilie and Clare, you all drew lots before the show and today you are going first.

So, Emilie, what happened in that head-to-head?

OK, so we took the first question,

and Bex and Greg took the second.

And the third one, it was a question about houses

and their shack trumped our mansion.

So they took that.

They did very well.

-Now, Emilie, you are both from Cheltenham.

-We are.

-Where's your accent from?

-I'm from Swansea originally.

-Lovely accent.

I've lived in Cheltenham for eight years now.

What are you going to go for? We want US states that do not contain the letter O.

-Michigan.

-Michigan.

Michigan, says Emilie. Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our people said Michigan.

It's right.

16.

16 for Michigan.

It's a very good start. Very tough on that first podium. Well done.

The only place in the world with a floating post office.

-It's got a post office which will deliver your mail to ships as they're passing.

-Wow!

-And there's someone on it, feeling a bit sick?

-Yeah.

-Exactly that.

-Stamping post.

I'm not sure I'd want my post from there, actually.

-Be a bit...

-The good news is you don't have to. It's in Michigan.

Yeah, but what if...? What if...?

We'll discuss this later.

-Anita, welcome to the show.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here. Where are you from?

-Just outside Weybridge.

And what do you do?

I'm a retired university lecturer.

And what do you do now?

I still examine. I mark exams and I'm also translating a book

from English...no, from Spanish into English.

Now then, how about the US? Do you know your way around America?

Not terribly well. But I've managed to come up with one state,

which is probably quite high scoring, but at least it doesn't contain an O. That's Alaska.

Alaska, says Anita. Let's see if Alaska is right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Alaska.

It's right.

45.

45 for Alaska.

It's a pretty big score, but a perfectly acceptable answer.

17 of the United States' 20 largest mountains are in Alaska.

Good place to keep them.

Really good place. People don't go skiing to Alaska, do they?

I suppose they don't yet,

-because there are probably easier places to get to.

-It would be a good place to go skiing.

Are you after a free skiing holiday now?!

I'm after doing the advert for Alaska. You do SO many adverts. I don't do any.

LAUGHTER

Mmm...Alaska.

-You do it. You'll be brilliant.

-No, you do it. That's good.

-No, you show how you'd do it.

Mmm...Alaska!

Why do I even bother?!

Now then, Paul. Welcome to Pointless. What do you do?

-I'm a carer for my wife.

-Very good.

Do you have much time off?

Not much time off, but I do follow Norwich City

and I enjoy knitting as well.

Do you? How long have you done knitting?

About 18 months,

when Sharleen was having a baby.

She was expecting and she wanted a blanket, so we...

I learned to knit and me and my wife and my youngest daughter

knitted her a blanket between us.

Good stuff. Now, what about these states not containing the letter O?

I will go for Utah.

Utah. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Utah.

Well, it's right.

45 is our high score. 16 is our low. You've passed the high score.

Almost down to the low score - 19. Very well done indeed, Paul.

19 for Utah.

Yeah, very well played, Paul. No Os there. There's a U and an A, but no Os.

Anything else you need to know, you just ask.

-One interesting fact about Utah. It doesn't have a floating post office.

-No.

Yeah.

Tom. Welcome back. Now then, talk us through last time.

Well, Phil...

He went for a gamble.

He certainly did!

It didn't pay off. Sometimes that happens.

Tom, remind us what you do.

I'm a student at York.

-And what are you studying?

-History.

How is your knowledge of the states of the United States?

It's actually pretty good.

Phil and I do these competitions

where we see who can get to the 50 states in the fastest time,

because we're really cool.

LAUGHTER

So, er...

It's just a question of choosing which one, really.

I'm going to go for Arkansas.

Almost universal nods from everyone else. They like that.

Arkansas. Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Arkansas.

It is right.

16 is our lowest score so far.

19 again. You join Paul and Sharleen.

Well done, Tom. Good answer.

Well done, Tom. We should go to Alma in Arkansas.

-It's the World Spinach Capital. They hold a spinach festival every year.

-We should!

That's such a good idea.

It would be amazing.

How do they feel about chard?

Chard, they hate.

That's what the Chard Wars are about.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

We're halfway through the round, so let's take a look at those scores.

The best score was yours, Emilie, so Clare and Emilie looking strong.

Then up to 19, where we find Tom, Phil

and Paul and Sharleen.

Then up to 45. Anita, that was a punishingly high score there.

I'm not sure why Alaska stood out so much, but it did,

so, Graham, you have a mountain to climb there.

You make sure you score nice and low in the next pass and we all hope it's enough to keep you in the game.

We'll come back down the line. Can the second players please take their places at the podium.

So remember, Phil, we are looking for any US state without an O in them.

You're on 19. The high scorers are Graham and Anita on 45,

so 25 or less.

Should be do-able for someone with your wide knowledge of the US states.

-The difficulty is you've just got to work out which is the one people couldn't remember.

-Yeah.

There's one that comes to mind, which is New Hampshire.

Can I just say, that was going to be my one, if I was playing.

That's the one I would have gone for.

New Hampshire. There's your red line. If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

New Hampshire. How many people said that?

Very well done. Down it goes.

Our lowest score so far - 8 for New Hampshire.

Takes your total up to 27.

That's a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant answer.

Yes, anyone who came up with that, that's terrific.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Sharleen, welcome to the show.

-Hello.

-Great to have you. Paul, quick question for you.

-Were you massive Neighbours fans?

-I was before Neighbours, actually.

I eat my words! I'm sorry.

-That's an insult.

-But I've never heard that before(!)

I know, I know, I know! I'm sorry.

What do you do, Sharleen?

-I'm a full-time mother to my 15-month-old princess.

-Lovely.

-Princess...?

-Violet.

-Princess Violet.

-There we are.

-Her name isn't actually Princess, it's just Violet.

Just to clarify!

-Not Princess Violet.

-OK. Good to know.

Glad we cleared that one up. She's probably watching this, isn't she?

-Hi, Violet!

-Yeah.

Now then, Sharleen.

We're looking for US states that don't contain the letter O.

I think I can think of a couple.

I always say when I watch at home that I'm not going to risk it,

but I think I am going to risk one that I'm not sure about, but I'm going to say Maryland.

I think that's a great answer. Our lowest score so far is 8

from Phil with New Hampshire.

Let's see if Maryland gets you through to the next round. There's your red line.

It's right.

There we are. It's got you through. It's 6 - our new lowest score.

Very well done. Best answer of the round.

Takes your total up to 25.

That's a great answer. Princess Violet will be very happy with that, I suspect.

Do you know what the official state sport of Maryland is?

They're a big sporting nation, the States. Maryland's got an official state sport.

It's jousting.

That's just mad. Wow!

Jousting. And they have proper televised tournaments

-and...things?

-Oh, yeah.

The top jousters in Maryland make 20, 25 million a year.

And what do they compete for? The hand of some beautiful maiden,

or is it just a cup?

It's both. It's a cup with a hand attached to it.

LAUGHTER

So, you know, it's not great, but...

OK. I should go there, I quite want to...

No, I don't.

Now, Graham.

Graham, welcome to the show. Great to have you.

What do you do?

I'm semi-retired. I do some voluntary work for a couple of housing associations

and a local hospice.

And how did you and Anita meet?

Well, we bumped into each other at a Tube station in London

16 years ago

and the rest, they say, is history.

You took it all the way to the end of the line!

Absolutely, yeah.

Fantastic. Now, Graham, we're looking for US states that don't contain the letter O.

-Have you been to America?

-Yes, I have.

-Have you got a good answer?

-I'll try Maine.

OK, Maine.

You are the high scorers on 45,

so you really need this to go down as far as it possibly can.

Let's see how many people said Maine.

23.

23 takes your total up to 68.

Yeah, a big score again, though, isn't it, for Maine, 23?

That's tough luck. Two good answers from that podium and a big score.

Used to have quite a presence in the toothpick industry, Maine,

until the toothpick mill closed.

-THE toothpick mill? Just the one?

-Yeah, but they're only tiny. You only need one mill.

They're actually massively scaled-down jousting swords.

LAUGHTER

It's like jousting for hamsters.

-Bit more lethal.

-Hamsters riding guinea pigs.

-In full armour.

-See, that, I would watch that!

I would watch that any day of the week.

I'd watch that now.

-That should be the state sport of Britain.

-Yeah.

Hamsters in armour, riding guinea pigs, with toothpicks?

Yes, please.

-Definitely.

-Fighting for the hand of a vole.

The hand of a vole...on a cup.

-Amazing.

-Done. Sold.

Clare, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you back on the show.

It was a puffin you were wearing last time and you've got the head of a stag on.

Indeed I have.

-Do you have any jumpers that don't have the head of some animal...?

-This is it.

Puffin and stag - that's my lot.

I like them.

Perhaps if I win the jackpot, I can invest in a whole animal-jumper-themed wardrobe.

You could. A zoo of different jumpers.

-Good stuff. Now, you probably had a lot of good answers that other people have said.

-Indeed.

-You can talk through all of them, if you like.

-OK.

I think I want to join Phil and Tom's cool club,

because I too play sad games where I, you know, race against the clock to get the US states.

Um...

One that sprang to mind initially

and I think I'm going to go with is Delaware.

Delaware. Oh, there's a murmur.

Oh, they like Delaware!

-Or maybe they don't!

-Maybe they don't.

Anyway, 68 is the high score. You're on 16, which means 51 or less - 51 or less -

will get you through. There's your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to Round 2.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Delaware. Is it right?

It is right.

You are in Round 2.

7. Our second lowest score of the round. Very well done indeed.

Great answer. 23 your total.

That's another terrific answer. Well done.

Lots of people know their states, so there's no pointless answers.

This was literally a round of going through the states and working out which would be the most obscure.

We have had the best two possible answers.

Sharleen, your answer, Maryland, was the best answer you could have given.

And the answer we just had from Clare was the second best as well.

Let's take a look at those two.

There's a few on 8. We've already had, from Phil, New Hampshire.

Tennessee would have scored you 8 as well,

as would West Virginia.

A few more of the lower scorers. Pennsylvania would have scored you 9.

10 points for Kentucky or Indiana.

11 for Nebraska. Virginia would have scored you 15.

Michigan, we know is 16.

New Jersey and Massachusetts, 17.

Let's look at the top three answers, the ones most of our 100 people said.

Alabama would have scored you 32.

Alaska, 45.

And Texas, way up the top there on 74.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the pair heading home with their high score of 68...

That's not a high score. I'll be honest with you, Anita and Graham.

I'm really sorry. It means we have to say goodbye right now.

But we'll see you next time, when I hope we'll see you right through to the head-to-head and beyond.

-Thanks very much for playing. Graham and Anita. Lovely contestants!

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round 2.

And so only three pairs remain.

Which pair will be leaving us at the end of this round?

Now, Sharleen.

I've just thought of another Sharleen. Spiteri.

-And she spells it the same.

-It's spelt the same.

The only other Sharleen I know like this.

Lovely low score. Best score of the round.

Everyone needs to be aware Paul and Sharleen are the pair to beat.

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round 2 is...

Famous people. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

Famous scandals. Richard.

We'll show you descriptions of 12 people, six on each pass,

who have been involved in famous scandals.

You just need to tell us who those people are.

We're not including Phil saying a rude word on the last show.

Give us the best answer you can. 12 in all to have a go at at home.

Thanks very much indeed.

So we're looking for the people described by these clues. Here's our first board.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Six clues to six people inveigled in scandal.

Clare, you go first.

I think initially I felt quite confident when I saw the title of this round,

but now I'm beginning to doubt myself.

Um...

I think I'll go for the top one - Conservative MP

who lost his Tatton seat.

I'm going to say Jonathan Aitken.

Jonathan Aitken, says Clare. Jonathan Aitken.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

Bad luck, Clare.

I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

Scores you the maximum of 100 points. I'm sorry.

Sorry, Clare. There are a lot of politicians to choose between

when it comes to scandal. He's not the specific one there.

Thanks very much. Now, Paul.

-Yeah.

-We want the names of these people.

Well, I know one for sure,

but I think I'll go for the Secretary of State for War,

because I think that's John Profumo.

John Profumo, says Paul. John Profumo.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Profumo.

It is right.

41.

41 points for John Profumo.

Well played, Paul. Another good answer from you.

He lied in Parliament about wrongdoing too and eventually was forced to resign.

Did a lot of charitable work after he resigned. Was made a CBE in the '70s.

Now then, Phil, you're the last person to have this board, so you can talk us through it if you like.

It's not a great category for me, I've got to be honest.

The one I think I'll go for is the second wife of Henry VIII.

I'm just going to guess at Anne Boleyn.

Anne Boleyn, says Phil. Second wife of Henry VIII.

Let's see if Anne Boleyn is right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Well said, Phil.

40.

Best score of the pass.

The ghost of Anne Boleyn is said to haunt Blickling Hall, which is Britain's most haunted house.

-Does she do anything?

-Of course not.

If she could do anything, why would she just hang around Blickling House? She could go on telly or something.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

Was impeached for lying about his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

It's a very big scorer. 71 points if you said Bill Clinton.

The Conservative MP - as I said, there's an awful lot of them -

Jonathan Aitken's seat was South Thanet. And Tatton was Neil Hamilton.

Would have scored you 14.

The cook and lifestyle guru. Do you know that one? It's an American one.

-Martha Stewart.

-Oh, yes!

She would have scored you 10 points.

And the best answer up there is the future king.

And that is George IV.

Would have scored you 2 points. Very well done if you said that.

Thanks, Richard. We're halfway through. Let's look at those scores. 40 the best score of that pass.

Phew-ee! At 41 is where we find Paul and Sharleen,

then up to 100. I'm sorry, Clare and Emilie.

That was quite a punishing high score there for Jonathan Aitken.

Emilie, it's not out of the question.

You could find a nice low-scoring answer and keep yourselves in the game.

Back down the line. Can the second players please step up to the podium.

We'll put six more clues on the board. And here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Remember, we're looking for people described by these clues, Tom.

You want to find the one you think fewest of our 100 people knew.

You're on 40. The high scorers are on 100, and they're Emilie and Clare.

So a score of 59 or less keeps you in the game.

I know two of them.

One of them's quite obvious, I think, because it was quite recent.

I'm going to go for the Canadian sprinter stripped of his Olympic gold.

That's Ben Johnson, I think.

Ben Johnson, says Tom. Here comes your red line.

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

Is Ben Johnson right? How many people said it?

It is right.

Through you go to the head-to-head.

33.

Good answer. 73 your total.

There was an extraordinary documentary about that race,

that 100m in 1988,

where they interviewed everyone who had been in it. It was on BBC4.

It's just terrific.

-The Race That Shocked The World. Worth checking out if you can get hold of it.

-I'll look it up.

Sharleen.

We're looking for the people described by these clues.

I don't know any of them for sure.

-Are you a stranger to scandal, Sharleen?

-I am.

I am.

You're on 41. The high scorers are still Emilie and Clare on 100.

58 or less

gets you into the head-to-head.

OK.

I'll go for the Daily Telegraph and say Rupert Murdoch.

OK. Rupert Murdoch, says Sharleen.

Here comes your red line. If you get below it, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see if Rupert Murdoch is right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

Bad luck, Sharleen.

An incorrect answer there scores you the maximum of 100 points.

Takes your total up to 141. The game is not over yet, though.

Nor is the round. Richard.

Sorry, Sharleen. Rupert Murdoch has never been in prison.

Emilie. Now, we have a game on our hands. We have a new high scorer - Sharleen and Paul, 141.

You're on 100. You have to score

40 or less to get into the head-to-head.

Oh, no, don't look like that!

Talk us through the board.

Just go through it and see if there's anything on that board you might be able to answer.

I couldn't possibly.

I don't know any of them except for the top one,

which...

I've even got a couple of different first names

going round in my head for that.

The others... I thought scandals would be maybe celebrities

who have fallen out of nightclubs and stuff!

Um, so I'm sorry, Clare.

All I can go for is the American cyclist

and hope that it's Lance Armstrong.

Lance Armstrong, says Emilie.

OK, well, 40 or less is what you want to score.

There is your red line. Get below that, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's find out. Lance Armstrong - how many people said it?

57, I'm afraid.

57 for Lance Armstrong. Takes your total up to 157.

Yeah, really sorry. It's a big score for Lance Armstrong.

The more you read about that story, the worse it gets, the Lance Armstrong stuff.

-Really?

-Really, really bad.

Let's take a look at the rest of these.

No-one falling out of nightclubs here.

The closest we've got is Liberal Prime Minister David Lloyd George.

He loved the nightclubs.

He would have scored you 6 points.

The proprietor of the Daily Telegraph...

-I think you were on Have I Got News For You?

-I was. Conrad Black.

Yes. He would have scored 14.

Now, the Labour MP who faked his own death...

Viewers maybe of an older generation will remember.

It was John Stonehouse.

Would have scored 12.

And this last one is a pointless answer.

The Chairman of Enron. So very well done if you said Kenneth Lay.

Kenneth Lay was a pointless answer.

Would have added £250 to the jackpot.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid the pair leaving us...

They were in the head-to-head last time.

This time they leave in Round 2. It's Emilie and Clare.

Bad luck. You did so well last show.

And you've done so well this show up to this round.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye. It's been great having you on the show. Emilie and Clare.

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Tom and Phil, Paul and Sharleen.

You're one step closer to the final

and the chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £1,000.

To decide which pair's going to be playing for that money,

you're now going to go head-to-head.

But the difference is, you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

-Time travel films are the best types of films there are.

-Oh, yeah.

We'll show you five stills from famous time travel films. Tell us what the films are, please.

OK. Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five time travel film stills.

Here they are.

There we are.

Five time travel films.

Tom and Phil, you've played best throughout the show, so you go first.

I think we're going to go for A,

which we think is 12 Monkeys.

A, 12 Monkeys, say Tom and Phil.

So, Paul and Sharleen.

Can you talk us through the other films?

See if you can fill in all the...

B is obviously Back To The Future.

And C, Donnie Darko.

Not sure about D.

And E, I think, is Terminator.

We'll go with E, Terminator.

E, Terminator.

So we have 12 Monkeys playing The Terminator.

Tom and Phil said 12 Monkeys.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said 12 Monkeys.

It's right.

11.

11 for 12 Monkeys.

Now, Paul and Sharleen have said The Terminator.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

Is it going to go down as far as 11?

38 for The Terminator.

Well done, Tom and Phil. After one question, you are up 1-0.

Let's go through the others. B is Back To The Future.

That would have scored you 57.

C is Donnie Darko.

It wasn't a huge film at the time, but it's a huge cult movie now.

25 points - very big score, actually.

And D is the best answer up there.

It's the Woody Allen film with Owen Wilson - Midnight In Paris.

That would have scored you 5 points.

Very well done if you got all five of those at home.

Unless you're watching on catch-up, through some sort of time travel thing.

In which case, that's cheating.

Thanks very much indeed.

Here comes your second question.

Paul and Sharleen, you answer this one first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game. Best of luck. It concerns...

Yiddish words. Richard.

You're going to see five words that have entered the English lexicon from Yiddish.

We've left out alternate letters. Can you fill them in, please?

OK, let's reveal our five Yiddish words. And here they are.

I'll read those all again.

There we are.

Paul and Sharleen.

We're going to go with the top one and say chutzpah

-for impudence.

-Chutzpah.

Chutzpah, say Paul and Sharleen.

Now, Tom and Phil, can you take us through the rest of the board?

No!

LAUGHTER

We know one.

The chat one. This is...

ridiculous! It could be schnooze.

Let's go for it, cos the second one, sorry the middle one,

is klutz, but it is going to be higher.

-Let's go for it.

-The chat one?

-Yeah.

OK. Schnooze.

Schnooze.

OK, you're going to say schnooze.

So we have chutzpah versus schnooze.

Paul and Sharleen said chutzpah.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said chutzpah.

It's right.

18 for chutzpah. Very well done.

Tom and Phil have gone for schnooze.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said schnooze.

Ooh, bad luck, Tom and Phil.

I'm afraid that's incorrect.

You'll kick yourselves when you realise how close you were.

But well done, Paul and Sharleen. You're back in the game. After two questions, it's 1-1.

Yeah, it's not schnooze, it's schmooze.

To schmooze.

It would have scored 15 points as well.

Would have seen you into the final.

No point going for klutz - it would have scored you too many points.

Would have scored you 46.

Ineffectual is nebbish.

The best answer up there - would have scored 2.

And a complaining person, or to complain...

-Kvetch.

-Kvetch, yeah.

And that would have scored 7.

Well done if you got all of those.

Thanks very much indeed. Here comes your third question. This is the decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. Best of luck. It concerns...

-Richard.

-Five clues to the Shakespeare play Romeo And Juliet.

You need to give us the most obscure answer.

The team that gets this point goes through to the jackpot round, so very best of luck.

OK, let's reveal our five clues. And here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are.

Five clues to facts about Romeo And Juliet.

Tom and Phil, you go first.

The bottom one I thought was going to be great for a second,

but it's a later film that I know was directed by someone else.

The middle one...

I believe is Tybalt.

OK. Tybalt, say Tom and Phil.

Tybalt.

Paul and Sharleen.

We think we know the rest of them, actually,

-but it's just knowing which one...

-Do you want to talk us through them?

It's set in Verona.

The title of the musical is West Side Story.

The opposing family to the Capulets is the Montagues.

And I think the Oscar-nominated director was Roman Polanski.

What do you want to go for?

Just go for West Side Story?

I think the other two... If you've read the book, you've read the book.

We'll go for West Side Story, then.

OK. West Side Story, say Paul and Sharleen.

West Side Story.

Tom and Phil have said Tybalt. Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

I suspect this will be a low score.

Yes, it is - 7!

Well done, Tom and Phil.

Tybalt.

Paul and Sharleen have gone for West Side Story,

the name of the musical adaptation from 1957.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said that.

16.

Not a bad answer. Not a bad score.

But I'm afraid it doesn't beat Tybalt on 7.

Which means, Tom and Phil, after three questions,

you are through to the final 2-1.

Very well played. There's only one answer up there

that would have beaten Tybalt, and it is the film director.

It's somewhere in your head, because it's not Roman Polanski, you'll be delighted to hear.

It's a pointless answer. It's Franco Zeffirelli.

Would have scored you nothing at all.

Polanski did do...

He did a version of Macbeth, but not Romeo And Juliet.

It's largely set in Verona - you're absolutely right.

That would have scored you 25.

And the opposing family were the Montagues,

but that would have scored you 37.

Very well done to anyone who got all five of those.

Thanks. So at the end of the head-to-head round,

the pair leaving us, I'm afraid, is Paul and Sharleen.

But it's good news, because it means we get to see you next time.

Otherwise it would only have been one appearance on Pointless and that would have been too few.

We'll look forward to that. Thanks Paul and Sharleen. Lovely contestants!

But for Tom and Phil, it's time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Tom and Phil.

You've fought off all the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

Very well done. You've performed very well. Some great answers.

What would you like in this round? They're always hard. They're quite specific, the categories.

What would we like? I don't know.

Whenever we say what we like, it never comes up.

We'd like ships and acid jazz, please.

LAUGHTER

OK, fair enough. Best of luck.

As always, you kick off this round by choosing a category.

And here are the four options you have to choose from.

LAUGHTER

-I live in Edinburgh, so we won't be going for the bottom one.

-I live in York.

We've got to go for it.

Yeah!

That's jammy, isn't it?

So Glasgow you're going to go for.

Very best of luck. Richard.

That's turned out nicely.

It's been on the board before, but it's turned out very nicely.

We'll give you three different categories here for Glasgow.

Three very different categories. Give us an answer from one of these three, please.

Any manager of Celtic FC from 1897 through to the 2012/2013 season.

Any station on the Glasgow Subway system.

Or any film with Billy Connolly.

So any manager of Celtic FC,

any station on the Glasgow Subway

and any feature film

made for cinema release

for which Billy Connolly received an acting credit.

-No TV films, documentaries or anything like that. Best of luck.

-OK.

As always, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

To win that jackpot of £1,000, just one of those answers has to be pointless.

The answers you give can come from any of these categories.

It can be three from one, two from one, one from another.

However you like. OK, are you ready?

Yep.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Let's ignore the top one.

-Subway - Kinning Park.

-Yeah, Kinning Park.

I did the Sub Crawl recently, and they've just gone out of my head. Bridge Street.

Where's Glasgow Academy - where's that one?

That's Kelvingrove.

Kinning Park, Govan...

Ibrox.

Ibrox?

Yeah. What about Hillhead - is that too obvious?

No.

-Kinning Park, definitely.

-Yeah, Kinning Park.

We could go Cowcaddens.

Yeah, Cowcaddens.

St Enoch?

Buchanan Street.

-Kinning Park's a definite.

-Where is Cowcaddens?

Cowcaddens is just away out...you know where the Art School is?

Go for Cowcaddens.

-OK.

-And we'll go for...

Hillhead?

10 seconds left.

Govan and Ibrox...

-OK.

-OK.

OK, you're happy to stop there,

with seconds left on the clock.

OK, that is time up. I now need your three answers.

OK, we'll go for Kinning Park.

-Kinning Park.

-Kinning Park.

-Got it.

-We'll go for Bridge Street.

-Bridge Street.

And...what do you think?

-Cowcaddens.

-Go for Cowcaddens.

-And Cowcaddens.

OK, Kinning Park, Bridge Street and Cowcaddens.

-Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Roughly equal, but I think

Kinning Park's probably the best chance we have.

Kinning Park we'll put last. Which one shall we put first?

Let's stick down Cowcaddens.

Cowcaddens we'll put first.

Let's put those up on the board in that order. We have got...

There we are. Very best of luck. Your first answer

was Cowcaddens.

Obviously, if this is correct and it is pointless,

it will win you that £1,000.

Tom, what would you do with your share of that?

Well, I'm hoping to make a short film when I finish university.

Maybe send it to a few festivals, and film-making is quite expensive, so...

You need all the money you can get.

Put it towards that. Good stuff. Phil, how about you?

As penance for last time's performance,

I'll probably give a wee bit to charity.

Very well done to you. That's fantastic.

Well, let's hope, three good answers on the board, three shots at that jackpot.

At least one of them, let's hope, is pointless.

Your first one, Cowcaddens. If this is pointless and goes all the way down to the bottom,

it will win you that £1,000 jackpot.

Is Cowcaddens a station on the Glasgow Subway?

It is.

Down it goes, through the 60s, through the 50s,

through the 40s, through the 30s...

If this takes us all the way down to zero, you leave with £1,000.

Down it goes. Still going down...

Look at that - 2!

APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT CONVERSATION

2 of our 100 people said Cowcaddens.

That's a brilliant answer and a fantastic score in any other part of the game.

Sadly, in this round, it's only pointless answers we're interested in.

However, your next answer was Bridge Street.

Let's find out. If it's correct and it's pointless,

obviously, you'll win today's jackpot.

So for £1,000, is Bridge Street a station on the Glasgow Subway?

It most certainly is.

Cowcaddens took us all the way down to 2.

Bridge Street now taking us down through the 40s and 30s

into the 20s, into the teens... Down into single figures.

If this goes down to zero, you leave with £1,000.

Yes, you've done it! Very well done indeed!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That is fantastic. Very well done. Congratulations.

Many, many congratulations.

Bridge Street was a pointless answer, which means you go home with the jackpot of £1,000.

APPLAUSE

It would have been kind of embarrassing if Glasgow had come up and you hadn't won.

That was our biggest fear!

You wouldn't be allowed back!

Very, very well done indeed. What about that, Richard?

Terrific. Very well done, guys. You've been terrific players.

Your last answer, Kinning Park, also a pointless answer as well.

So, very well done. Two pointless answers.

APPLAUSE

We don't see that very often. For residents of Glasgow,

the Subway stations is the way to go.

Some people at home might have gone for the Billy Connolly films or the Celtic managers.

Let's take a look at some of those.

Five of them in all.

Liam Brady would have been a pointless answer,

as would Lou Macari. Well done if you said those.

Sean Fallon, Willie Maley

and Jozef Venglos. Remember him?

He was a pointless answer.

The Subway stations...

We've had Bridge Street, of course,

and these are the other four that were pointless.

Kelvinbridge, Kinning Park,

Shields Road and West Street.

All the others scored points. So you did very well,

even with your knowledge of Glasgow Subway stations, to pick two pointless answers.

Billy Connolly films.

All of these would have won you the money -

Gulliver's Travels, Indecent Proposal,

Open Season and Pocahontas.

Very well done if you said any of those at home,

and congratulations, guys. Sometimes the categories fall very nicely, and they did today. Well done!

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Tom and Phil,

who go away with today's jackpot of £1,000.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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