Conna, the Sea God Sexy Beasts

In a world where attraction is mostly based on looks,

what would happen if you had to rely purely on your personality?

No way.

Well, thanks to some gloriously grotesque make-up...

Oh! Oh!

..we're going to find out.

Will true love blossom when what you see is definitely not what you get?

This is Sexy Beasts!

This programme contains some strong language

Yes, definitely good looking. I've got a good body.

Definitely, I'm a heart-breaker.

I can't stay in a relationship, I just, my eyes wander too much.

Oh, yeah...!

# What a man, what a man What a mighty, mighty good man... #

Brace yourselves for Conna, a fishy alien from South Wales

and Sexy Beasts's toughest assignment yet,

with a...relaxed attitude to fidelity.

Yeah, pretty much I have cheated.

Hold my hands up. I get away with it most of the time, as well.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Yeuch! What a catch, eh, girls?!

So how does our aquatic adulterer attract the ladies?

Yeah, I don't really have to do anything to pull girls.

It's my tattoos and my body that does it for me.

Girls come over to us all the time.

Girls, you only have yourselves to blame.

So, Conna, it's the big one - looks or personality?

Wouldn't matter if she had the nicest personality -

if she ain't got looks.

Definitely can't bring a munter home.

My mum would take the piss out of me for weeks.

Aww, the playboy is a mummy's boy!

Sadly, mummy sea monster isn't here today, but best pal Lloyd is.

-So what do you think, Lloyd?

-All right, Lloyd?

Don't laugh. That took ages to make!

Well, in all fairness, it looks really good, but he still looks like an idiot.

That's better. Ish.

He's definitely outgoing. Very, very, very arrogant.

Really loves it. He reckons he's, er, God's gift.

So the gods have gifted us an eye-wandering, arrogant mummy's boy.

Can Sexy Beasts convert this Casanova?

We accept the challenge!

Bring on potential soulmate/heartbroken victim number one.

My friend nicknames me Tinderella

because I'm a Tinder queen

with 700 matches on the dating app.

That's right - a love rat for the love rat.

Don't all applaud at once.

# Boys, boys

# I'm looking for a good time... #

Meet Tilly, a student from Bristol who doesn't just collect

hundreds of random men on a dating app.

Eh, I like sloths.

Sloths...?!

Yeah.

OK.

I just think they're adorable.

If I don't find love on this programme

then I'll be a spinster with loads of sloths, instead of cats.

Like, I'm more than happy to meet that fate.

Wow. Well, I suppose, it's good to have a plan B, I guess.

Wow, wow!

Our rat can twerk it. Great!

I have not seen that before.

So what does our rhythmic rodent look for in a man?

Confidence is good, but not when it verges on arrogance.

I find that's quite unattractive.

Uh-oh!

Let's bring in pal Fraser to give her a positive boost.

Oh, my God!

You look disgusting!

Or to make her feel rancid.

Your nose is wet. It's... Why are you doing that?

That's really annoying and weird.

So how do you think Tilly'll do today?

Tilly's dated enough, I think, to be probably at the top of...

I'm experienced.

Yeah, terribly experienced in the dating scene.

I'm really confident that she's going to make it through to, erm...

to the final round.

So will Tilly be the one to convert Conna the Cad?

Or will it be latex lady number two?

I am in the market for a date, yes.

I don't go on many dates.

Dates kind of freak me out,

so it's probably bad that I'm doing this.

Oh, I don't know. It could be very entertaining for us.

# Sugar

# Oh, honey, honey... #

This is queen bee Beth, a student from the Isle of Man,

a very superstitious place.

I'm not allowed to say the word R-A-T.

Because it's considered bad luck.

So, if I say it, I have to touch wood and whistle,

which is really random, but...

R-A-T? But Tilly's a rat, that... Oh, crap.

WHISTLES KNOCKS ON WOOD

Yep, that should do it.

I'm just looking forward to having fun.

I just want to enjoy the whole experience,

like, dressed as a bee. Lovin' it!

Erm... buzzing.

It's a pun.

Yes, but I do the bad puns round here, thank you.

Like this one - Bee-hold, your good friend Eilish.

Oh, my God!

It's terrifying!

Oh, my God!

That's not a unicorn.

Well, she's already bringing insight.

Bethany is a bit different from normal people I know.

Like, she does just come out with the most random crap at times.

She likes to dominate.

-No, I don't!

-She does, she does.

She'll never admit it, but she definitely does.

A dominatrix?

Phew! Could Conna be tamed by a bee with a whip?

Or will our final lovelorn lass save the day?

In terms of look, I have different types of looks.

I have me going-out look.

Like, I won't go out in town without fake tan on.

But then on a day to day basis when I'm, like, studying

and stuff like that, I look like a tramp, basically,

so in that sense they're not important.

Well, today's look's a belter!

# N-A-S-T-Y is nasty But, baby, I don't mind... #

This is Rachel, a trainee outdoor instructor from Newcastle.

My personality is quite weird.

Like, I don't think I've got one.

Like, I dunno, like, if people would enjoy my company.

Basically, I think my personality is shit, so...

Well, at least you haven't come on a show dressed as an ogre

where personality is all that matters. Ha-ha.

Let's bring on super pal Skye to see what she has to say.

SHE LAUGHS

She's laughed herself off the set!

Ladies...? Er, ladies?

Let's just give them a moment, eh?

I'm speechless.

100% no doubt that Rachel's going to get through to the final

and win the man of her dreams.

Or she could win Conna.

Let's go speed dating.

Yes, the Ogress, the Bee, and the Rat...

SHE WHISTLES

All have ten minutes to date Conna.

Just look how keen he is.

Remember, their real faces will only be revealed

when the courting is complete,

so they're relying on charisma to charm the man

who only cares about looks.

This should be interesting.

Beth's in first.

Will she be the bee's knees and gain some nectar points?

Wow.

-Yeah, I know.

-You look great.

-Thank you. So do you.

-That's all right.

Want to see my wobbly bits?

Do you want to see mine?

Ooh, they've both exposed their wobbly bits early on!

This could go well!

So what do you do at the weekends for fun?

Hang out with my friends. What about you? What do you like to do?

I go out at weekends with the boys, go to the gym quite a bit.

Yeah. Erm...

Oh, dear. God's gift seems to be employing his usual courtship

ritual of doing nothing.

Unfortunately, Beth is, too.

What do you do? Do you study or...?

-Flooring contractor. I work for my dad.

-Cool.

Basically, that's it.

-Erm, so, eh...

-HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE

-Did Conna really just do the...

-(CLICKS TONGUE)

-noise?

REPLAY WITH AUDIO

Yes, he did!

Yeah, you have to rely quite a lot on what you say.

Ooh, a breakthrough...(!)

Conna's finally realising conversation is quite important.

Go, Team Sexy Beasts!

-So what's your, erm, ideal date?

-Yay!

Erm, I don't know really. I don't...

-I've not really been on many dates. Dunno.

-Oh, fair enough.

-What's yours?

-I like golf.

-Golf?

-Are you any good?

Not that good, you know.

Just, like, hit a ball, takes out your frustration, know what I mean?

Whose ideal date ISN'T frustratedly whacking away for four hours?

Overall, it went quite well, I think,

but it took us a while to get relaxed into it.

It was a bit stressful at first. It was a bit awkward.

I think I just found it awkward cos we're in these masks

and it's just so tense,

and conversation goes quite dead really quickly.

You've had a practice, lover boy, so get ready for speed date number two.

And in scuttles Tilly.

-I'm Conna.

-Hello.

-Pleased to meet you.

Oh, I've got a moist nose.

This is a present for you.

Oh, sweet. Thank you.

-It's a sloth.

-I can't get over your mask.

-Huh?

-Your mask is really freaking me out.

I like yours. Alien, right?

-Eh. Sea god, I like to call it.

-Sea god?

-Sea god, yeah.

-A god, so that's...

-God of sea, definitely.

Sea GOD...?! He's giving himself a spectacular promotion.

Can you smell him? That's actually my scent, so you have that.

Ah, clever trick! That's awesome.

That's good.

Ooh! Has Tilly melted his frozen heart with a scented sloth?

I can't really smell anything.

No.

So, eh, what's, eh, your ideal perfect date?

Some of the best dates I've had I've been wearing onesies for.

Wearing onesies?

Just chilled, you know? Just go round to his house, watch...

You'd go round to someone's house on a first date?

-Yeah.

-Really?

-If he cooks me dinner, that's fine, yeah.

I wouldn't do that.

I was a bit put off when she said she goes round people's

houses for a first date.

That's a bit...off-putting for me.

Don't like that. Do you go for fish-men with muscles or...?

Erm, I haven't tried your type yet but, you know, I'm pretty interested.

Do you like ratty girls with beards?

-Oh, I dunno.

-You dunno?

Your mask is really freaking me out, to be honest.

Oh Conna, it's not supposed to be about looks!

It's moist, as well.

-Yeah.

-Feel it.

-Do what?!

Oh.

If you could choose a song to make love to, what would it be?

Conna, dirty boy!

Erm, some R'n'B misogyny, like...

What's misogyny?

It's, like, hating on women. You know, like...

Wha'...?!

Oh, Tilly. I think you're on a losing streak with this one.

There is absolutely no way I could imagine having sex with a rat.

That's absolutely disgusting.

You DO know she's NOT a rat, yeah?

So overall I think his personality's a bit of a lad.

-HE BURPS

-Oh, pardon me.

I don't know, he seems like a nice guy.

So Conna seemed thrown by the mask,

but they did have a conversation, at least.

Over to the keen green ogre queen, Rachel.

Hiya, you all right?

Hi, you all right? Erm, how much does a polar bear weigh?

-Five kilos?

-Five kilos?

-I don't know.

That's enough to break the ice.

I think my break the ice joke didn't even work, at all.

Well, he's no Jimmy Carrp, but at least he tried. Progress!

-What are you, a jellyfish? Or a fly?

-Sea god!

What's a sea god?

A god of the sea.

No, you look like an alien.

Know what you look like?

A foot.

If your foot looks like that, Conna, you need to seek urgent medical help.

I've brought you this.

What's that?

Well, what you do think it is?

-A rock.

-It is a rock.

-Does it mean anything?

-I got that from Sierra de Toix in Spain.

-Where's that...?

When I did my first multi-pitch climb.

-You know what rock climbing is?

-Yeah, obviously.

So it's rock climbing, but you don't have a rope all the time.

That's...pretty cool actually.

It's not from Spain. It's not from Sierra de Toix.

And means absolutely nothing to me.

He will never know that that rock was from a park.

Yes, your secret's safe with us, Rachel.

I don't like doing outdoorsy stuff.

Like, for instance, you probably like camping?

Absolutely love camping.

I couldn't think of anything worse than sleeping in a tent.

-Really?! Why?

-Does your back in.

-No, it doesn't!

-Nah, bollocks.

-No.

Couldn't do it.

Who doesn't like camping?

-Conna!

-Who doesn't like camping?

-Conna!

-Do you go to the gym?

-I hate the gym.

Hmm, I hate the outdoors.

Oh, well.

Awkward. Erm...

SHE CACKLES

Ah, what a pleasant giggle.

I've literally nothing in common with her

so I just don't see anything happening there.

He's judged her completely on her personality,

albeit negatively, but we'll take it.

Baby steps!

I wasn't out me comfort zone or anything so, overall,

it was quite good, yeah.

I'm going to have to have a think about who I'll pick,

-definitely.

-Good.

I'm really not sure.

Conna's first lesson in love is over and now he must dump a datee.

He should be good at this bit - he's had a lot of practice.

Let's just get down to it, then.

Ooh, the romance!

Will Rachel be camping in a single tent for ever?

Will the Isle of Man be the only man in Beth's life?

Or will Tilly remain a onesie destined for a future

surrounded by sloths bathed in her own musk?

Who just isn't singing along to his Nep-tune?

-Beth.

-Hi.

You seem, like, really, really sweet.

The bad point was the conversation went dead quite quickly.

You put, like, nothing into the conversation.

Like, I felt like you were a bit bored before I even

sort of started speaking, do you know what I mean?

-Right, OK.

-(This is going well!)

-Tilly.

-Hello.

You seem really, really chatty.

That's really good, you know.

I didn't like what you said about going over someone's house for a

-first date in your pyjamas.

-He was cooking me dinner!

-I didn't like that.

-What's wrong with that? No?

This is going very well.

Rachel. I enjoyed arguing with you, basically.

I thought it was quite funny.

The bad point was...

we just had nothing in common, really.

-Yeah. Pretty much!

-Absolutely nothing in common.

(Taxi for the ogre.)

I've made my decision and the beast I'm binning is...

Tilly.

Really?!

-Sorry.

-Really?

That's what I said.

The one lady he held a conversation and didn't argue with!

Never mind.

The sloth will make a nice chew toy for my dog, anyway.

For your dog?

Yeah.

Wow...!

Shame that he thinks that I'm a slut

just because I went round to someone's house for a first date.

I will say we only had dinner. I don't see what's wrong with that.

But, obviously, he's got a problem with it, and that's fine.

I've got a funny feeling she's going to be very attractive

underneath her mask now.

So Tilly's free to go back to twerk

but before she goes shall we see what she really looks like?

Three, two, onesie!

# Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow

# Unbelievable. #

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow indeed!

The rat is ravishing!

The sea god binned an earth goddess/woman-hating rap fan.

Time for everyone to meet Conna's goner.

-FEMALE:

-Oh, my God, you're really stunning!

-Hi!

You're absolutely beautiful.

Shit.

-FEMALE:

-Aww, you're stunning. Oh, you really are.

So are you guys! Yeah.

Pretty gutted.

Bit pissed off, yeah.

Wrong decision, bad decision-making.

Lesson number one for Conna -

he judged the mask over the personality, didn't he?

"Sex with a rat", honestly!

For now, he needs to keep his spiky chin up

and take the final two fiends on their dates and Beth's up first.

Conna's only gone and brought buzzing Beth on his dream date

to a driving range.

Is swinging on a first date really a good idea?

Set the balls down.

Stand in front of me.

Right, swing at that.

-I'm trying it on now already.

-BETH LAUGHS

Right. Come back a bit. Come back.

Aye aye...! Whoa, he's a dating pro.

That's a classic technique there.

A bit more forward. I haven't got a clue what I'm really teaching you.

I'm just doing it the way my dad told me to do it.

Your dad taught you like that?!

Just swing and try not to...kill me.

OK.

Oh, missed.

This is the worst grip in the world.

Two.

I'm petrified, like, you're gonna, like, hit me with the club.

Yeah, it was a good excuse, yeah, to put my arms around her, definitely.

-Pressure's on.

-SHE GIGGLES

Jesus!

Shouldn't you be screaming "Four!" or something?

I can't even see where it is, so you win.

-"BREAKING GLASS"

-Yep!

I was sort of secretly hoping he didn't pick me,

but this date's sort of changed my mind a bit, so it's fine.

This is it. I'm going to teach you.

I can't even get my hands around you.

SHE GIGGLES

Good date so far. It is good.

She's come out of her shell, that were unexpected.

So what's the main romantic reason behind bringing Beth to

a driving range?

I just like smashing the shit out of a ball, to be honest, like.

We'd never have guessed.

Conna's like Happy Gills-more.

Don't ask me where that went.

But is he clubbing his way into Beth's heart?

Erm, I don't know whether I fancy him.

I'm not going to lie.

Erm, at the moment I'd probably say no.

I think she does. I'm really not too sure, but I don't mind.

When she sees what I look like, maybe that might seal the deal.

Mixed opinions at the moment.

Still, the Lord Of The Fish has the chance

to be humble for the bumble at the 19th hole.

So a better second date?

Yeah, definitely. No awkward pauses. It was better. Yeah, definitely.

-I'm really bad at golf though.

-Yeah.

So what do you normally look for in a person?

Talent.

Like, I love talented people.

I can whack a ball.

You're pretty good at golf. What do you look for?

Like, I really don't go for personality.

-You know? It's like...

-At all?

-Like, a little bit.

-That's shocking.

That's really shallow, innit?

-Really bad.

-Yes, REALLY bad.

But at least he's aware of it.

He said a lot of things that made him sound REALLY shallow.

It was really off-putting, and it made me think,

why has he come on this show, if looks are so important to him?

Well, he is showing some improvement.

Smile a minute.

A smile's really important to me.

Oh, really? Oh, God, now I feel like you're judging me now.

I am. Smile's really important to me.

As I said, just SOME improvement.

You've got to be good looking for...

for me to bring you home and meet my parents,

cos my mum - she's the person you've got to win over.

That's awful. I'm scared of your mother.

Ha! Most people are.

Is Conna smitten?

He's already talking about taking Beth home to his mum.

She's really sweet.

She's really not got a bad bone in her body. She's really nice.

Yeah, he's a really nice guy, but I'm just not attracted to him.

I don't... Hmmm.

I might have a second date, but purely cos I'm...

I just can't say no to people. SHE LAUGHS

It's opened up... Opened up my eyes a little bit,

and you start to see past someone's looks.

So Sexy Beasts is bringing about a change in the young Conna

but will he remain as cool as a sea cucumber on Rachel's date?

-What is it?

-Oh, fucking hell.

-Mint!

-SHE LAUGHS HEARTILY

-There's that lovely laugh again.

From dream date to nightmare date,

Rachel and Conna are about to go on a high rope adventure course

in the deep, dark forests of Manchester.

Even though it's not that high, I just don't like heights, at all,

so I'm pretty petrified, to be honest.

He's absolutely bricking it, right?

And he just... It's so funny.

Let's do it, then. Get it away. Come on, let's go.

A genuine fish out of water -

kudos to Conna for giving it a go.

And let's not forget -

Rachel is training to be an adventure course instructor.

Show off.

Will Conna be left high and dry?

SHE LAUGHS

See, it's not that bad.

Shut-up.

Fucking hell.

Ah, what godly grace...!

CONNA PANTS

Who the fuck does this for fun?

Maybe if you just relax into it more.

Well, Conna's clearly hating it.

What does Rachel think?

I'm not going to lie, it was proper shit.

If only it was someone else who actually liked it.

But, no, it was a counselling session.

So with your right hand - that's it - and then that one there.

It's like each part of the course breaks down their relationship

a little bit more.

If you walk across this, Conna, I'll give you a kiss.

Ooh! Maybe I spoke too soon!

What if I don't want a kiss?

(INDISTINCT)

Conna's on the move,

like a giant newt crossing a ravine into his lover's arms.

Walk across.

And here comes the kiss...

Ah.

-Just kiss me on the cheek.

-Nah, bollocks. You kiss me.

-I'm not kissing you!

-Get walking then!

Let's go!

# Conna and Rachel sitting in a tree

# A-R-G-U-I-N-G. #

Rachel ends this part of the date elegantly.

He's not going to like that, at all.

And Conna...

HE GRUNTS AND GROANS

Well, he's back... He's back down. Let's just leave that there.

Terrifying. I don't like it. Hate it.

Hated every second of it.

Poor Conna. I think we're all agreed - that went pretty badly.

An ice cream back on the ground should sort things out.

I mean, everyone loves an ice cream.

Oh, my God, it's so cute!

And with every flavour and topping imaginable,

what's our oceanic hero gonna plump for?

-I'm going to have vanilla.

-Argh!

-Vanilla?

-Yeah, I'll try a vanilla.

Really...?!

You're right to cackle, Rachel!

So just how badly did they think it went?

That date went absolutely tragic.

I didn't enjoy a single second of it.

-It was a disaster.

-Absolute disaster.

-Absolute disaster.

I was in my zone, like, trying to not fall, like.

-Where you going to fall to?

-It's just the fear of falling.

You wouldn't understand.

-I would cos I have a fear of moths.

-What?!

So, if, like, I took you in a room, like, surrounded by moths

-would you be freaked out?

-Yeah.

-Well, exactly.

I was freaked out on that.

But if someone put me in a box in a room full of moths,

I wouldn't be freaked out, cos I'd know they couldn't get us.

It'd still freak me out. I just didn't like it, didn't enjoy a single second of it.

Oh, brilliant.

And that signifies the end of Conna and Rachel's magical date.

I'm scared of heights. I had to climb some trees.

I don't really like ice cream.

I had to sit and have ice cream with a person

I don't have anything in common with whatsoever.

From start to finish, right, it was horrific.

So it's not-very-tough-decision-time for Conna.

How long are we going to have to wait until he picks Beth

to be his Sexy Beast?

Still, we have to go through the motions.

-CLEARS THROAT

-Will it be Beth?

He loved spending time with her on the driving range

and he thinks she's "really sweet".

Or will he choose Rachel?

No!

Time to find out what Conna looks like when he says

"My Sexy Beast is Beth"

and then off go the masks and in come the faces.

Right, let's just get down to it and talk about the dates.

Right. Beth, I thought our date was really, really good.

I can't really say nothing bad about it, to be honest.

OK.

Rachel - phew! Where do I start?

Erm... I couldn't think of a worse date.

I was so petrified, I weren't even listening to you half the time.

I enjoyed it, to be fair.

I didn't enjoy it, any second of it.

The date could've been ten million times better if you weren't...boring.

That's fine.

You're just not my type of person.

-You're not mine, either.

-That's sweet.

I've made up my mind and my Sexy Beast is...

RACHEL: (Christ's sake, don't make a mistake.)

So will it be Beth... or Beth?

As in, Beth, who he could bear to spend time with,

or Beth, the one he didn't argue with continually.

The bee, or not the bee.

That is the question.

Beth.

INCREDIBLE!

Shock waves are reverberating throughout the dating community.

I'm so pleased. You're going to have such a good time.

-Yeah, so much fun.

-Yep.

And Rachel is distraught!

Oh, I'm so pleased I don't have to, like, go on a date with him,

ever again.

It feels...not great to be Conna's sexy beast.

I was secretly hoping he wasn't going to pick me, but...

Ooh! Beth reveals the sting in her tail right at the end.

Soon we'll all get to gauge the god for ourselves,

but right now it's time to reveal the real Rachel.

The green skin is going and the canny Geordie lass

is out in the great wide open for all to see.

# I can't live... #

Och, whey-aye man!

# If living is without you...

# I can't live...

# I can't give any more... #

Will Conna's opinion change once he sees her face to face?

Well, let's find out.

Rachel will see Conna too but for that,

you are going to have to wait a few more minutes.

Oh, my God! You actually look SO different!

You look nothing like what I thought you'd look like.

I know. I weren't expecting you to be so, like, glamorous

considering you're so outdoorsy.

Oh, my God! Oh, my actual God!

When I seen what he looked like

I was actually really, really surprised.

But I honestly did think he was going to be bald.

I thought he was going to be bald and then, like, a fatter face.

But, like, no, he looked completely different. It was such a shock.

Intriguing.

Not long until we see the sea god for real,

but first - want to see what Beth actually looks like

beneath those prosthetics?

Well, mind your own beeswax!

Sorry, I was just having some PUN.

Here we go.

# Oooh, baby, do you know what that's worth... #

-Bee-autiful!

-# Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth...#

Conna's going to be buzzing when he sees his winner.

But is Conna all he says he is underneath his fishy frontage?

# I am the one and only... #

Oh, he is, as well!

What a handsome chap!

But is that enough?

When the curtain drops, will the romance rise?

Hi, you all right?

Hey.

Oh, my God.

Ooh! Don't break her!

-I didn't think you would be blonde.

-Really?

-No.

-What did you think I was going to be?

-Brunette.

-Really?

Yeah. That's nice. Nice surprise, though.

She's a real pretty girl.

She's really cute-looking but she's just not my type.

Personality-wise, maybe.

Just not looks-wise.

And what kind of look does an ex-fish go for in a human lady?

When the lights first came up and I see Rachel,

I thought she was quite attractive.

Probably the closest to my type,

considering I always go for dark hair.

Yes, after all that Conna actually prefers Rachel.

Who'd have thought?

I thought he'd be a gym head,

too long on the sun beds,

gets his eyebrows done,

bit of a quiff maybe, I don't know.

Too much gel.

And I was just so right,

so when the curtain dropped I just wasn't surprised, at all.

Both a little disheartened perhaps,

but they did get on well earlier at the driving range

and Conna's learnt so much on his journey.

Surely, they'd like to see each other again?

There's only one way to find out if romance is still on the cards,

and that's by offering free alcohol in a bar.

If neither of them turn up then they really aren't interested.

Well, the love trap is set.

Who's going to carelessly wander into it and get snared?

# And I would do anything for love But I won't... #

Turn up politely at a bar for a chat over some free fizz.

Oh, honestly, I give up!

And the lights go out,

marking Sexy Beasts' most powerful love metaphor yet.

Ooh, very arty!

And so our show ends with a lack of romance.

It's perhaps fair to say there was never a chance.

A challenge was set to change Conna's ways,

But unless ordered by Mum, Conna never obeys.

So the moral is, and someone really should tell him,

that sea gods should never, ever

wear double denim.

Good night, lovers everywhere. Sleep sexy.

SHE CACKLES MISCHIEVOUSLY