Episode 12 Snog Marry Avoid?

More, more! # When I grow up, I wanna be famous

# I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies, when I grow up

# I wanna see the world Drive nice cars

# I wanna have groupies When I grow up. #

Natural beauty should come, well, naturally.

For some of Britain's babes, it's well and truly buried

under layers of slap.

They need to ditch the make-up and abandon the tan,

but it's not easy letting go when you are obsessed with fakery.

These girls don't need a make over, they need a make under.

Welcome to the naturally fabulous world of the make under.

This is POD, your Personal Overhaul Device. Hello, POD.

-Hello, Jenny Frost, you lovely lady.

-Well, you're in a jolly good mood today, I hope that lasts.

That depends on how many natural beauties I can uncover today.

Ah, well, you might have quite a challenge ahead of you.

-POD loves a challenge, Frost, you know that.

-Good job, POD, and good luck too, you are going to need it.

Coming up on tonight's show...

I love big hair. Big. Huge. Ooh, fall over.

My curvaceous figure is a show-stopper.

It's nice to be a lady.

It's glitter time.

-Our aim is to wear as much glitter as possible.

-Be glitterastic.

Tonight, two girls and a band of bandits

experience the magic of a make under.

-Are you ready, POD?

-And waiting, who have you got for me?

Coming up first is lovely, bubbly, shopaholic, Liverpudlian,

it's Nikki.

Loading background data.

I'm Nikki, I'm 23, I'm single. I work in a pharmaceutical factory.

Who's better to show you the WAG style than a Scouse chick?

Bring it on.

God, I love this outfit.

Oh, how cute's that?! Shoes!

Oh! Oh, heaven, shoe heaven, I love them.

Nikki's look - it's completely and utterly extravagant.

Got to have them.

Credit cards seem to jump out me purse and onto the till.

I'm so happy. Sexy shoes, priceless.

Very nice, I feel like a princess.

I love shoes - full stop.

Platform, platform, platform, platform.

Flat shoes are a no-go.

Ooh, fall over.

I love big hair. Big. Huge.

I don't really do limp.

Eww!

I've always got the rollers in, sometimes I go to the shops in them as well.

Can I have sweet and sour chicken with boiled rice

and a portion of chips, and a sausage.

A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

If I had my wish with a make under for her,

it would be to go for a slightly more natural look,

cos she's got all the right ingredients to start with

and she just needs to accentuate those looks without overdoing it.

Ready to rave and party Liverpool-style.

I suppose, if I am really honest, I am a bit fake.

I love it. I wouldn't change anything about myself for anybody.

-Hello, how are you?

-I'm fine, how are you?

-I'm very good.

-You're looking very glamorous today.

-Thank you.

First things first, talk me through this outfit.

Big outfit, big shoes, big necklace, bling ring,

big hair, out the door.

What do you think POD's going to have a go at you for?

Probably the hair, she'll whip these extensions out.

Dangle them, running into the distance, you'll see me tottering in me heels.

I'm ready for POD.

I think she's got a case on her hands, don't you?

Gorgeous, glamorous Nikki, I'm going to wish good luck in POD

and I'll see you the other side, maybe minus the big hair.

Thank you.

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device.

Hi-i-i-i! Hi, sexy.

I am not sexy, I am POD,

and you are too overly familiar for my liking.

Oh, POD, come on now.

-Nikki.

-Yes, POD.

Why are you wearing a sequinned babygro?

-I picked my outfit especially for you.

-You really needn't have bothered.

-Come, on POD, lighten up.

-POD computes that you have a big mouth.

Oh! POD!

But even that is nowhere near as big as your hair.

-We all like big hair, POD, the bigger the better, don't you agree?

-No.

But, POD...if I had flat hair, it'd be like minging.

-POD completely disagrees.

-Oh, thank you, POD.

POD thinks you would look 100% less minging if you weren't dripping in fakery.

POD, I thought we were about to become friends, I felt a bond.

POD only bonds with natural beauties.

Oh, come on, POD, play the game.

-OK, I have a game for you. Are you ready, Nikki?

-Bring it on.

It's called spot the difference. Loading Alex Curran.

Oh, God, here we go, everybody says I look like Alex Curran.

Perhaps that's because you've copied her hair, make-up and fake tan.

POD, you're so mean. I've got no resemblance of her.

Whatever you say, Nikki. But how about your credit card bill, does that have any similarities?

-POD, sssh!

-Would you like a boyfriend with a big bank balance?

I don't want anyone to buy me stuff for me, my God.

So, are you an independent woman, Nikki?

# All the ladies who's independent Throw your hands up at me. #

As an independent woman, you probably own your house and pay your own bills?

-Have you been talking with my mother?

-No, but since you mention it, don't you live with your mother?

-Yes.

Hmm, very independent.

I'm just not winning against you, I always get my own way!

Don't you stamp your foot at POD! You'll live to regret that later.

You've got a challenge on your case, POD.

Yes, I can see that, but my files tell me

you haven't always been this challenging. Loading data.

Oh! POD!

See there is naturalness in me.

Yes, there is, did you swap it for some new Jimmy Choo's?

Do you want a slap?

No, bit I do think you could do with removing yours.

Why have you come to POD for a make under?

Because men think I'm high maintenance and a nightmare.

-I can't imagine why.

-POD!

And I'm single, so I want to look nice,

you want to look appealing, at least.

POD thinks you'll look very appealing as a natural beauty.

Ahh, you're dead sweet.

-Are you ready for the first stage of my beauty programme?

-Bring it on, POD.

Run phase one, public analysis.

-Are you nervous?

-No, I've got guts.

Good, you're going to need them. I asked members of the public -

is she a good-time girl, good as gold, a gold digger.

Oh, they are going to pick gold digger.

-Play.

-She definitely looks like a gold digger.

Looks like a gold digger, she'll take my money and run.

She looks like she's got fake tan on

and looks as though she just chases old men.

Awww! I've got class!

No-one thought you were as good as gold.

Can you not see the halo on my head?

No, and nor could the 70% of the public

who thought you were a gold digger.

OK.

I also asked, men only,

would you want to snog, marry or avoid her.

-What do you think they said?

-I'm going to have to go with avoid her.

-Avoid.

-Play.

I'd probably avoid her,

I think, because she looks like she's a little bit too up for it.

Oh, my God.

This lady probably would like to date footballers,

but I don't think any would like to date her.

I would probably avoid her, unless I was drunk.

70% of the men we asked wanted to avoid you completely.

Ah! No, they didn't!

Yes, they did. Are you ready for my verdict, Nikki?

Yes, POD.

Nikki, you are a shop-obsessed man botherer

and you need my Curb The Spending And Get A Happy Ending Make Under.

Ooh! POD's going all-out!

Correct. Here is your make under menu.

Choose a new hair colour.

Warm mahogany, light chestnut, ash brown, caramel blonde.

Warm mahogany, then.

Choose a celebrity style -

Jessica Biel, Kate Moss, Mischa Barton, Vanessa Hudgens.

I think I am going to go with Vanessa Hudgens,

because it's different.

Before I can process your style choices, I need you to remove all of your slap and fakery.

Well, go for it I'm up for anything. I wouldn't be a Scouser if I wasn't.

That's the spirit.

Phase two, deep cleanse. Please put on your deep cleanse uniform.

-Oh, my God, I feel ashamed.

-What are you ashamed of?

I look disgusting.

-POD thinks you look quite cute.

-Oh, POD.

Now, please get wiping.

Show me that wipe.

That's disgusting.

Yes, it is.

POD is happy to see such a natural beauty under all that slap.

Ahh, you are such a charmer.

-How are you feeling about meeting the new you?

-I'm a bit worried.

There's no need to worry. Run phase three, the make under.

Oh, my God, I'm so scared.

What are you scared of?

I'm quite scared of what's going on with my hair really.

POD thinks you look stunning as a brunette.

You're such a charmer.

But I still need to bring the blonde Nikki back.

But why, when you're such a lovely natural beauty?

-You haven't convinced me.

-Why not?

It's not me, it's not glam.

POD thinks you look very classy and much younger.

The dress is quite nice, I do like the dress.

What sort of men do you think you'd attract now?

Science geeks.

-Hm, shall we find out?

-Yes, POD.

Previously, I asked men

would they want to snog, marry or avoid this girl? What did they say?

-Avoid.

-Correct.

Let's see what they would do now.

-Play.

-Would snog her if I didn't have a girlfriend.

She's a nice-looking lady, nice brown hair, nice complexion.

I'd marry her, because she looks like someone I'd want to marry,

she looks decent.

I think she's the kind of girl you'd take home to your mother.

Ahhh.

A massive 80% wanted to snog you, and the rest wanted to marry you.

In the net.

That's nice to hear, POD.

Here's how I achieved your new natural look.

A chunky fringe can create a new look

without losing too much length from your hair.

Nude lip liner is a great way to define lips

without looking overly made-up

and still shows off your natural lip colour.

What do you think of natural beauty now?

I think it's nice

and I think sometimes I do need to tone it down a little bit.

You'll be like the little devil in my head shouting at me

when I'm putting my black eye stuff on.

Going, "No, Nikki, no," but I will try to tone it down.

POD is glad to hear it because you are a stunning natural beauty.

-Thank you, POD.

-Have you enjoyed your make under experience?

Yes, even though you're a grump sometimes, you've been a laugh.

Though you are a stubborn set-in-your-ways blonde, POD has enjoyed meeting you.

-You too, POD.

-Goodbye, Nikki.

-Bye!

Hi.

Oh, my...!

Oh, my God!

What do you think? Are you scared?

Brownie.

'I just can't get over'

how blue her eyes looked with the brown hair, it was gorgeous.

Oh, give us a hug!

'It's just nice to see her natural'

and that she doesn't need all that make-up to look pretty.

Oh, Nikki looked gorgeous as a brunette.

Will she keep it? We'll find out later.

Now, as we discovered, you lot have got some quite strong opinions

when it comes to beauty, hair and make-up and you just love to share.

Exfoliate.

And let your skin breathe once in a while.

Try and avoid heavy foundation,

cos it looks terrible by the end of the night.

Fake tan is not good.

Pale and interesting...

Your eyes are your best feature,

so it's best to emphasise them as much as you can.

False eyelashes do all the world of good.

I think you can either show your boobs or your legs.

The bigger the better!

Next up, POD needs to mind her manners,

cos she's about to meet a lady.

My name is Lady Desalina.

I am a successful businesswoman.

I am a personal shopper.

I love the clothes, because...

the colours, the style, the feel,

the look, the image.

It's nice to be a lady.

I want to inspire people with my pieces

when I walk around the street.

I'm a walking advertisement, basically, for my company.

Lady D on a Saturday night.

Shiny, cute, sexy look.

Great make-up, all dolled-up from head to toe.

I believe I've got great legs and I've got a great bust.

So, I do show that off quite a lot, with anything that's fitting,

that hugs my curvaceous figure... is a show-stopper.

I love to shake my booty on the dance floor.

I'm not in a relationship. I get amazing attention from that.

SHE LAUGHS

At the end of the day, I am a positive, independent woman

and I express myself how I choose to.

And if they don't like it, so be it, but I do.

Lady Des, nice to meet you.

Can you talk me through your outfit and how long you to get ready?

It takes about five hours, really,

well, I rushed today, so that was three hours.

-That's not getting ready - that's a part-time job!

-I know.

Why did you decide to wear this outfit? Swashbuckling, piratesque.

I decided to wear this outfit, because it's curvaceous.

It's dramatic and nobody is going to be wearing it.

And very colourful, just like me.

-What would be the worst thing that POD could do to you?

-Hide my figure, I suppose.

Lady Des, I'm sure you're going to be fabulous and I can't wait to see your make under.

So, good luck in POD.

I am POD, who are you?

Lady Desalina, of course.

Why are you called that?

Because I'm a lady.

-Yes, it is hard to miss those lady lumps.

-That's being rude.

So is exposing your breasts,

but you don't seem to have a problem with that.

Just because I'm curvaceous

doesn't mean I can't show off a bit of bust, which is my own.

POD is impressed by your natural assets,

but not with how you have chosen to display them.

I am not understanding your language.

Simply put, put them away.

POD wishes to know, do you have a boyfriend?

-I'm not in a relationship, so no.

-Would you like to be?

Maybe, who's asking?

No-one, yet, but once POD has finished with you,

that could all change.

POD computes you have a 15-year-old daughter.

Does she like your look?

-No.

-I can't imagine why(!)

Why have you covered yourself in all that pink slap?

Because it looks good on me, that's why.

Hm, what do you think of natural beauty?

I think natural beauty is great,

but sometimes you've got to have a bit of fun with make-up and clothes.

And clearly you are having a right laugh with that look.

Well...

Why have you come to POD for a make under?

Because my mum keeps getting at me.

I just want to see how I look really toned down.

Then you've come to the right place. Run phase one, public analysis.

I asked men only, would you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?

What do you think they said?

I think they'd want to marry me, definitely put a ring on my finger.

Marry.

-Play.

-Avoid her - she looks a little bit too wacky for me.

Avoid her, because she just looks crazy.

I would avoid,

because I think she looks a bit too overdone, a bit over the top.

-Well, I don't agree with that.

-Nobody wanted to marry you.

-Nobody.

-Not one. A huge 90% of the men we asked wanted to avoid you.

I don't know where you've got this public from, but...

What emotion are you registering?

I am very upset about that, actually.

Don't be upset, POD is going to help. Are you ready for my verdict?

-Go on.

-Lady Desalina, you are a booby-flaunting, blusher-loving,

make-up-mad minx.

And you need my bare-naked lady to sophisticated lady make under.

Are you having a joke?

-No, are you ready to meet the new you?

-Sock it to me.

OK, I will. Run the make under.

Oh, my God!

-No way!

-Yes, way - you look stunning.

Can you speak?

Yeah, I look lovely.

Yes, you do. Please tell POD what you like the most.

The dress is very cute,

and the hair, the hair is gorgeous, and the make-up's beautiful.

POD completely agrees. Can you see you are a natural beauty?

-Yes.

-POD thinks you really do look like a lady now.

-Do you agree?

-Yeah, I do.

Would you like to find out what the public think of the new Lady D?

-Yes.

-I asked men - would you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?

Let's see what they would do. Play.

You can imagine snogging her, a good snog.

I'd say probably snog.

Very attractive, she's hot. Can I give her my number?

60% now want to snog you and the remaining 40% wanted to marry you.

-40%?

-Yes.

-That's good news for my mother.

-POD thinks your daughter will be happy too.

-She'll like it.

Here's how I achieved your new look.

Naturally dark skin does not need a lot of pink blusher.

A tinted moisturiser is all that is needed

to give the face a healthy glow.

A wrap-around dress creates a low V shape

which flatters a fuller figure

and emphasises a big bust without showing a lot of flesh.

-Yes, it does.

-Does that mean you'll be putting them away from now on?

Yes, I think I am going to put them away.

This makes POD very happy.

Have you learnt anything else from POD?

That you don't need to be very full-on to look naturally beautiful.

Correct. My work here is done.

I think I look amazing.

Yes, you do. Goodbye, Lady Desalina.

Goodbye.

Oh, it looks so nice!

Oh, it looks great.

That is nice.

Gives us a twirl.

Oh, yeah, I love it, I love it.

Absolutely you. I love it.

I feel safe now, she can go out and start meeting young men again.

Wow, what a transformation.

She looked gorgeous, but will she keep her new look?

I'll be finding out later.

I've been doing some very in-depth research

into your beauty hints and tips to find out

what really works and what should be avoided. Watch and learn.

We all know glitter looks great on a night out,

but where it doesn't look great is on your bed sheets

when you get home.

That is a big no-no.

So, we need to find a way to get it off,

and it can be really, really tough.

A little birdie told me, if you get some sticky tape,

wrap it around your hand...

..like so...

..you can apparently get it off like magic.

That is definitely working.

It might take me a while and it could get a tad boring,

so I'll see you later, all nice and clean in bed.

Do you remember that gorgeous Nikki from earlier on in the show?

Well, POD made her a gorgeous brunette, but has she kept it up?

Let's meet her now and find out.

Nikki, Nikki, lovely brunette Nikki.

-Hi.

-You look gorgeous.

-Thank you.

-Are you still being mistaken for Alex Curran?

No, I'm a new brunette babe.

I think it looks fabulous, your eyes look amazing.

-Like ping!

-Everyone says that. I put the Nikki touch back into it, you know, the extensions.

We won't tell POD that, don't tell POD that.

POD doesn't need to know that.

Have you taken heed of anything else POD said?

-The eyelashes have gone back.

-The eyelashes are back.

The make-up's still on,

but I must admit I'm trying to take on board the fact

that maybe I don't need to wear as much.

Is there any new men on the scene or on the horizon?

I have met a few, but no-one special at the moment.

But it's nice that I seem to be pulling different types,

nice lads instead of like these gangsta wannabes and these players.

So, fingers crossed, you never know.

What do you think about POD's quest for natural beauty?

POD is dead sweet. She really tries to enforce it, doesn't she?

I think natural beauty is gorgeous if you've got it, naturally,

then flaunt it,

but I think I need a little bit, a few eyelashes, a bit of tan.

I think POD's done a very good job.

We've got the brunette hair, which is lovely.

The extensions are back a bit, the lashes,

but the make-up's toned down. So, well done, POD.

Thank you, yeah, POD deserves a medal, doesn't she?

Next, POD has a run-in with some Glitter Banditz.

I've got a feeling things are going to get rather messy.

-They are three hot men who go by the name Dare.

-Glitter.

-Aaron.

-Glitter.

-And Will.

-Glitter.

And together they form.

Glitter Banditz!

# It's raining men Hallelujah, it's raining men... #

Our aim is to wear as much glitter as possible.

Glitter.

-To spread joy.

-Oooh.

To wear the smallest hot pants as possible.

-Be glitterastic!

-Ooh!

First we apply the magic gel. Now I am going to add the glitter.

It gets a bit naughty.

More is more.

Armpits.

Glitter time.

# Can you feel it? Can you feel it?

# Can you feel it? #

Welcome to the stage, the Glitter Banditz!

CHEERING

# Can you feel it? Can you feel it?

# Can you feel it? #

Glitter Banditz.

I am POD, who are you?

Hi, POD, we are the Glitter Banditz. Woo!

Oh, my POD.

-So that's why you are covered in a criminal amount of glitter.

-Totally.

THEY LAUGH

POD does not understand why three grown men want to look like extras from Starlight Express.

-You like it really.

-No, I really don't.

-Be nice, POD.

Glitter Banditz loves POD.

Oh, please, let me assure you right now flattery will get you nowhere.

There's a glitteriness inside of you that's waiting to get out.

I don't think so.

-We could sparkle you up.

-Yeah, baby, let's do it.

Back off, Banditz.

Don't fight it.

-No, no, don't you dare.

-Woo!

For POD's sake, that'll play havoc with my wiring,

not to mention what it will do to my natural beauty files.

-Look at the bottom of POD.

-Oh, my, gorgeous.

POD is not amused - I suggest you find a way to make it up to me.

Something that doesn't involve glitter.

Just for you, POD, we've got a special little treat.

# Touch your body Can you feel it?

# Come on and work it Push it, push it, baby... #

Hm, very entertaining. POD has never seen or heard anything like that before.

Thank you, POD.

-Glitter Banditz.

-Yes, POD.

-What do you think of natural beauty?

-It has its place.

-Each to their own.

It's not as much fun as this.

POD thinks you have forgotten just how much you can sparkle as a natural beauty.

Ahh. POD, you are naughty.

That's gorgeous, that is gorgeous.

-Do, you love that picture, POD?

-Yes, I do, what went wrong?

-POD, nothing went wrong.

-What are you talking about?

You've got to love yourself as you are today.

That's a matter of opinion.

The world would be a better place if we covered ourselves in glitter.

POD thinks the world would be a much better place if everyone embraced their natural beauty.

-We love you, POD.

-We love you, POD!

-We think you're lovely.

All you need is a little bit of glitter.

Oh, do stop it with all the love.

It won't work, and what you need is some PODing natural beauty.

-But even though you are stupidly shiny and glaringly glittery...

-Yeah!

..POD can see that the Glitter Banditz, without the glitter,

would just be three middle-aged men jumping around in thongs.

THEY LAUGH

Therefore you are ejected.

Ejected?

Before we go, POD, we want to give you a big glittery kiss.

There really is no need for that!

Oh, POD off.

Do you remember Lady Desalina from earlier in the show?

I am going to catch up with her now

and see if she has gone back to her blusher, lipstick, eye-type kind of way.

Or she's kept the natural look POD gave her.

Here she is. Come in, babe.

-Hello, darling, how are you?

-I'm great, how are you?

I'm a good, take a seat, princess.

Well, tell me about your make under.

Well, when I had the make under, I had a good look at myself

and I thought it was great, so I thought I would keep that look.

That's great news! What reaction have you had off people?

I have had a lot of reaction, actually, from my family.

All the family think it's great the way I am dressing down,

the make-up and stuff.

-What does your daughter think?

-She thinks it's absolutely gorgeous.

I am going to keep it for her, definitely.

Wow. What about the men?

I think I'm more approachable, whereas before I was quite loud. So, I've toned it down quite a bit.

Would you ever consider going back to your old ways?

Erm, only on a fancy-dress night, maybe.

But that's about it.

Do you still feel like the glamorous Lady Desalina?

Yes, I do feel like a lady, very much so.

-Even more so, maybe?

-More so.

-More so.

-More so.

Have we banished the old Lady Desalina for good.

No, I don't think we've banished her - I think we've reformed her.

Overall, I think a victory for POD. A great make under.

You look gorgeous, but still glamorous,

so, thank you very much, Lady Desalina.

Thank you for having me, Jenny.

THEY LAUGH

Yay! Well done, POD, a very successful day.

Nikki loved her new brunette locks.

Thank you, I think I'll be needing a deep cleanse

after those glittery fools.

Yes, they've definitely left their mark.

There's no need to rub it in, Frost.

Oh, but I love a bit of glitter.

Shame on you, after all we've been through.

-Sorry, couldn't resist.

-Oh, POD off, Frost.

-POD off, yourself.

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