Episode 11 Snog Marry Avoid?

# When I grow up, I wanna be famous

# I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies

# When I grow up, I wanna see the world

# Drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies, when I grow up... #

We've all been guilty of spending too much time in front of the mirror,

or too long in a tanning salon.

But some girls are taking it to new and, frankly, scary extremes.

These girls don't need a makeover, they need a make-under, and this time, celebrities are no exception.

Welcome to the naturally beautiful world of the make-under!

This is POD, your personal overhaul device.

-Hello, POD.

-Hello the Frost. Ready to get to work?

I've only just got here!

Sorry, there's no time for small talk when your mission is as big as mine.

You're obsessed with turning everybody into natural beauties.

-Yes, I am, and I won't rest until it's done.

-We'd best get on with it, then!

Coming up on tonight's show,

POD meets Britain's answer to the Pussycat Dolls...

You won't see no-one else dressing the same as us.

..gets a glowing response...

My look is based on a futuristic, sci-fi style.

..and she's the glamour model who dated a pop star from a famous postcode,

a regular in men's magazines, and she recently scaled new heights

and surprised everyone with her big-top performance - it's Emma B!

Tonight, four feisty females, an ultraviolet raver and a popular pinup get the make-under treatment!

Right, then, I suppose you're dying to meet your first visitors.

Did you say visitors?

I did indeed. Prepare yourself, POD, for the Pure Glamour Girls!

Loading background data.

My name is Linda.

Hi. My name is Sophia.

Hi. My name is Diana.

And I'm Melissa.

ALL: And we're the P2G... the Pure Glamour Girls.

# She's a dance-hall queen for life

# Gonna explode like dynamite... #

We're a bashment dance-hall group. We dance to bashment music.

When dancing in a dance hall, you have to be really flexible.

It's about being really bold and really confident.

The P2G image is about being attractive.

It's just that wow, in your face. We love the wow, in your face look.

You won't see no-one else dressing the same as us.

-Shake, shake, shake.

-Gold leggings, gold skirt.

How do I look?

Shoes, shoes, shoes.

This is our shoe room.

We love shoes.

Make-up, we usually wear really heavy.

-And that's it.

-When we walk into a room, everyone knows we're here.

-We get a lot of attention when we go out.

-We always go the extra mile when we're going out.

We own the dance floor.

-Hey, girls.

-Hi.

-Let me get this right. We've got Diana, Melissa, Sophia and Linda.

-Yeah.

-And you two are sisters?

-Yeah.

-And collectively, you are P2G.

-Yes.

-So what about your style?

-Our style is very, like, outrageous, colourful.

-Very bling.

-So your look is quite out there. What reactions do you get when you go into a nightclub?

We get...a wow, amazed look on their faces, all the time.

Everyone's like, "Who is them four girls?"

I think I'm quite a good dancer and I can shake my backside. But you put me to shame.

So, girls, are you ready for POD?

-Is POD ready for us?

-That is the question.

Right, P2G, I wish you good luck. You're going to have a fabulous time.

Gotta say goodbye to them lashes.

I am POD.

-Hi, POD.

-Who are you?

-We're P2G.

-Pure Glamour Girls.

-Why are you called that?

Cos we're glamorous, sexy, really out there, really eye-catching, like.

Yes. With all that slap and garish clothing, it is hard to miss you.

-Don't you like the make-up, POD?

-No, I don't.

-It doesn't matter what you think. When we go out, we get attention.

-You're just a computer,

and I can find your off switch.

POD is NOT just a computer.

-POD is the world's one and only make-under device, and you'll regret that later.

-Er...yeah!

-Whatever, POD. Whatever.

-POD wishes to know what do the Pure Glamour Girls do.

-We're dancers.

-Oh, we dance, we're dancers.

-What kind of dancers?

-Dance hall.

-POD does not compute "dance hall".

It's the genre of the dance - it's called dance hall.

-What are some of your moves?

-Dutty wine.

-I beg your pardon.

You're familiar with Beyonce, right, POD?

-This Beyonce?

-# Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, no... #

ALL: Yes.

She does a lot of wining.

Beyonce doesn't whine. POD thinks she has a lovely voice.

-ALL: No, no.

-We're talking about body movements.

-Hmm?

-You confused, POD?

-Yes. Please show POD some dance hall moves.

MUSIC STARTS, THEY SHRIEK

-Are you ready, POD?

-As I'll ever be.

# Dutty wine, girl, dutty wine, girl, dutty wine, girl, dutty wine... #

-Hi, POD.

-POD is very impressed. You are clearly very talented.

Ah, thank you, POD. See? You're not mean.

-If only you put as much energy into looking natural.

-Whatever.

My files tell me that at least one of you was once a natural beauty.

Accessing data.

ALL: Aw!

-That's Sophie.

-That's Sophie.

A very naturally pretty Sophie.

-Ah, thank you.

-What happened to her?

-She purchased some slap.

-Clearly.

What is the Pure Glamour Girls' ultimate ambition?

World domination, modelling, designing - you name it.

POD computes that the only thing you will dominate are the worst-dressed lists.

-I like that line!

-But POD thinks

-that with a little help, you could achieve your ambition as natural beauties.

-Yeah!

Why have you come to POD for a make-under?

-To see how we look differently.

-Yeah.

-To see how we look different, for a change.

It'll be good to show the public we can do other things than dance hall.

-We just wanna see how we look more natural.

-Yeah.

-And POD knows you will stand a much better chance as natural beauties.

-ALL: Yay.

-But first of all, I need to find out what the public think of your current look.

-Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh! Yeah, let's go!

-Run phase one - public analysis.

-Bring it on.

I asked men only...

What do you think they said?

Snog.

I would say snog, POD.

-Play.

-Avoid. They look intimidating.

-They all look pretty gobby.

I would probably avoid these girls, because they look a bit scary.

Oh! We're not!

The majority of people we asked wanted to avoid you completely.

Ah, man, that's mean.

Haters!

Having heard what the public think, do you now see that you need a make-under?

-Definitely.

-That's why we're here.

-We can learn from you, POD.

-Correct. Are you ready for my verdict?

-Yes, POD.

-We're ready.

-POD computes that there is nothing pure about your glamour, therefore you will undergo my...

-Please choose a style for this new natural group...

-Oh, yay!

-Get to choose.

-..city chic, boho, vintage, evening elegance.

ALL: Gonna go with elegant evening.

Are you ready to see the new Pure Glamour Girls?

-ALL: Yeah!

-Run the make-under.

THEY SHRIEK

-Wow! Oh, my God!

-Guys!

-Your hair!

-Girls.

THEY EXCLAIM

Ah-hem! GIRLS!

Do you like your new looks?

-Hell, yeah.

-Yes, I love it.

-What do you like?

I love the dress. The detail is just wicked.

I love this detail on my hair.

-POD thinks you look very Billie Holiday.

-Thank you.

-How would you describe your new style?

-This is classy glamour.

-We wanna name it classy glamour.

-POD thinks you are the Purely Gorgeous Glamour Girls.

-Ah, thank you, POD.

-Thank you.

-What do you think the public will think of your new look?

-I think they'll love it.

-Shall we find out?

Yes.

Previously, the majority of the men we asked wanted to avoid you.

Now a massive 70% want to snog you.

-Oh, my goodness.

-Wow!

-And the rest want to marry you.

-ALL: Ahhhh!

-How does that make you feel?

-Very happy.

-Yeah.

Here is your natural beauty data.

A floor-length gown creates a glamorous evening look and elongates a petite frame.

You do not need to apply layers of make-up to create a stand-out look.

Subtle definition around the eyes and lips draws attention to your features and still makes an impact.

Do you like your make-up?

-It's lovely. It's natural.

-It's nice. It's very, yeah, natural,

-but it's still hot.

-So will you be keeping this naturally pure style?

-Yeah.

-Definitely.

-It feels amazing and great.

-So, P2G,

are you ready for world domination?

Yeah, we are.

Amen.

POD thinks you can achieve anything now, with your natural talent and your natural beauty to match.

-Oh, thank you, POD!

-POD computes this make-under has been a complete success.

-Aw!

-Mwah!

-Goodbye.

-ALL: Bye, POD!

-We love you.

-Wow!

-Hi, guys.

You all right?

Sophisticated, that's what it is.

I think it works for them. It works, like... It's nice.

Is it a look we should keep?

-You should keep the look. It looks good.

-For special occasions! For special occasions.

-They looked great.

-I think the look was perfect. Ten out of ten.

-It's amazing.

-Keep it up, girls.

They looked stunning. Very impressive, POD, but not quite as impressive as their dance moves!

I'll be catching up with the girls later and I can't wait!

Equally as impressive as those moves is your wealth of beauty hints and tips, but they're not all advisable!

Use white on the top to highlight it,

then the black, then the silver, to take away the edge of the black.

I couldn't live without mascara.

-Blusher, blusher, blusher.

-Not too much, though.

We really recommend you wash off your make-up every night.

Top beauty tip is to put Vaseline on underneath your eyebrow.

It highlights underneath that.

I would definitely say moisturise every single day, definitely.

Eyelash curlers - got to have the eyelash curlers.

-Less is more, as well.

-Less is more, yeah.

-Less is more.

Next in to POD is a lovely girl - Emma B - who you might recognise.

Well, you will do if she manages to get ready on time!

I'm Emma B, and I love glamour.

# Ready, set, go Pick up the pace... #

The thing that most photographers are looking for is boobs.

# Work, work You know you gotta work, work... #

My main ambition is just to look as glamorous as possible.

# ..Put your boots on, baby Get to work, work... #

I just want to look sexy, I want to feel sexy and I want to look good.

# ..Work, work... #

I absolutely love make-up.

# Time goes by... #

It takes Emma hours to get ready.

This is my best friend -

my big, massive make-up box.

-Hours.

-I always choose make-up over natural any day.

I'm addicted to lip liner.

You know, enhance what God gave you.

Maybe sometimes it's a little bit over the top.

It usually takes about a week for her to get down the stairs.

Can you just hurry up, cos the taxi's in 20 minutes? Thanks.

Get downstairs!

# ..Time goes by so slowly... #

Right. Ready!

-THEY CHEER

-About time!

Finally!

# Every little thing that you say or do

# I'm hung up

# I'm hung up on you... #

I do get quite a lot of attention when I go out.

It'll be interesting to see her being made-under and see how she likes it, or doesn't.

There's nothing wrong with fakery. I will defend it to the end.

Bye!

-Hello, the lovely Emma B.

-Hello, the lovely Jenny.

-How are you today?

-I'm very well, thank you.

We've just seen Emma's back story.

-You're here for your crimes against taking too long to get ready.

-I am.

Your poor boyfriend.

You know, he has to accept me the way I am, and if I choose to take two hours, I must take two hours.

-Two hours would be OK. It takes hours and hours!

-You're right.

But, you know, it's a woman's prerogative, I think, to apply the slap.

-What do you think POD is going to pick on you for?

-Oh...

-She doesn't like push-up bras and cleavage.

-No.

-Bit of tannage?

-No.

-Any make-up is bad. False tan, everything, POD, no-no.

-OK.

I'm probably going to get in loads of trouble, but I don't care. I am ready for POD. Bring it on!

Right, gorgeous girl. I'm going to wish you good luck in POD and I know you'll be fabulous.

I am POD. Who are you?

I am Emma B.

-Does the B stand for boobs?

-That's a good one, POD(!)

Did you base your style on Puss In Boots?

SHE GUFFAWS No.

-This is the height of fashion at the moment.

-I'm sure it is,

on the panto circuit.

Who is your style icon?

When I was younger, Pamela Anderson was my icon.

In fact, it was Baywatch that made me end up going blonde at 15.

Pause. Accessing Pamela Anderson.

Despite Pammy's brave attempt to save her natural beauty, it drowned in fakery.

Even her huge, plastic buoyancy aids couldn't help her.

If Emma's not careful, she could suffer the same terrible fate.

OK.

I know that Pamela Anderson is very, very fake, but she's also very beautiful in her own way.

Please tell POD what is fake about Emma.

My hair, because I have hair extensions in.

My nails.

I have some fake tan on.

What about YOUR buoyancy aids? Are they fake, too?

-Yes.

-What was wrong with your natural boobs?

I love natural boobs. I should never have done it. It was a big mistake.

-Well, at least we agree on that!

-OK.

-Do you also agree

that you're hiding your natural beauty under all that slap?

I'd like to feel naturally beautiful. I don't feel naturally beautiful. That's why I like to wear make-up.

-That's where we definitely disagree.

-Well, you haven't seen me with my make-up off yet.

-Oh, but I will.

-OK.

-What does your boyfriend think of the way you look?

I know my boyfriend likes the way I look.

I think he'd be happy with however I chose to look as long as I felt confident,

so the task would be to get me to look toned down and feel confident about it.

-I like the sound of that task. Why have you come to POD for a make-under?

-Because I am tired

of spending so much time putting on all this make-up, and I would like

to achieve a nice, natural, fresh look.

-POD thinks you will achieve a very nice, natural look.

-Thank you.

Emma B, are you ready for the first stage of my beauty programme?

Oh, God! OK.

Run phase one - public analysis. I asked men, "Would you want to snog,

-"marry or avoid this girl?"

-Oh, my God!

I'm hoping to have more snogs than avoids.

-Play.

-Avoid, because I think she looks a bit tarty.

Even though she's very attractive, it does seem quite fake.

I would avoid her because she looks too dirty.

-Urgh, dirty!

-40% did want to snog you,

-but 50% wanted to avoid you completely.

-OK.

-Definitely more avoids than snogs.

-That's a bit annoying.

-So is taking three hours to get ready - but that doesn't seem to bother you.

-OK.

Are you ready for my verdict?

My hands are sweating!

-Go on.

-You, Emma B, have been masking your face with fakery and you really don't need it.

You will undergo my...

-Good.

-Here is your make-under menu.

Choose a new eye make-up style -

smoky brown, soft silver, classic black, golden shimmer.

Smoky brown.

Choose a celebrity style - Mischa Barton, Kelly Brook, Alexa Chung, Holly Willoughby.

Ooh, Holly Willoughby. She's gorgeous.

And so will you be as a natural beauty.

-But first, I need you to remove all that slap from your lovely face.

-OK.

-I'll do it.

-Yes, you will.

Run phase two - deep cleanse. Please put on your deep-cleanse uniform.

I feel like I'm going to work in a doctor's surgery in this.

Well, POD is here to cure you of your obsession with fakery.

OK, I'm ready.

And your first procedure begins now.

Start wiping.

Goodbye, eye make-up that I really love, no matter what POD says.

-Show me that wipe.

-Look.

Doctor POD prescribes you a make-under, to be taken immediately.

-OK.

-Run phase three - the make-under.

Blimey! Wow!

-Well?

-I didn't think I was going to like it.

-I actually like it - how weird!

-What do you like the most?

I really love my make-up, actually, and the hair. I like everything.

-POD thinks you look absolutely beautiful.

-Thanks.

-What do you think your boyfriend will think?

-I think he'll love it.

-He'll think it's gorgeous.

-He'd be right. Shall we see if the public agree?

Yes.

Before, you were hoping for more snogs, but you got more avoids.

Let's see if that's changed. Play.

I would probably snog her.

She looks really pretty and like she'd be a lot of fun.

It's quite a sophisticated look.

I would probably snog her

because she has nice features.

Now a massive 70% of the public want to snog you.

-Yay!

-And the rest want to marry you.

-Cool. That's good.

-Here is your natural beauty data.

A minimal amount of eye make-up can still make an impact.

If you have big eyes, subtle definition is all you need.

A scoop neck works well with a big bust to emphasize your curves in a sophisticated and classy way.

What do you think of natural beauty now?

I think it's definitely the way forward. I much prefer this.

-So does that mean you'll be keeping your new look?

-I'm going to do my very best to keep it.

-You can do better than that!

-I'll give it a very good go,

-cos I really like it.

-So has POD been successful in this make-under?

I think POD has definitely succeeded in the make-under.

I didn't think you would, but you definitely have.

Never underestimate POD, Emma B.

POD's fantastic. I love POD!

And POD loves your stunning, natural beauty.

-Thank you, POD.

-Goodbye!

-Bye!

Wow! Look at you!

I missed you today!

What do you think, then?

I love the curls.

And the colour. That's fantastic. It's really nice. Done a good job.

Emma looked absolutely stunning.

Let's hope POD has as much success with her next... How shall we say it? ..colourful character.

-I am POD. Who are you?

-I'm UVK.

I beg your pardon.

-UVK.

-Why, in POD's name, are you called that?

Because I'm Ultraviolet Keiran, as you can probably see.

Yes, it is hard to miss you.

What does a bright boy like you do for a living?

Well, I'm an alternative model.

What does an alternative model do?

The modelly stuff - poses such as this...

-and doing a cheeky smile.

-Hmm, cheeky!

-UVK?

-Hello.

-Were you born to rave?

-Yeah, I was, actually.

Can you show POD how to rave?

Big fish, little fish, cardboard box.

Hmm, maybe POD could give this fishy dancing a go.

Go for it!

MUSIC PLAYS

Big fish, little fish, cardboard box. Big fish, little fish, cardboard box...

-So, was POD born to rave?

-Yeah!

POD is a big fan of the fish, but not of your fluorescent hair.

Why have you got Day-Glo dreadlocks?

Because it makes you stand out.

-In the dark?

-Yes, POD.

Do you play glow-in-the-dark dot to dot?

-Dots? Oh, yeah. Leave my dots alone.

-I wish you would!

UVK, have you always been this fake?

-I'm not fake.

-You are, but my files tell me you haven't always been.

Loading data.

Oh, my God! I don't believe you showed us it!

POD thinks you look lovely without all that fakery.

-I thought you'd like me - I'm all robotty like you.

-POD is not a robot.

POD is the world's one and only make-under computer.

-And I do like you.

-Positive.

-But I would like you much better without all that fakery.

-I can't imagine it.

-You won't have to if you let POD give you a make-under.

-Are you serious?

-Perfectly. But are you?

-Yeah.

Yeah, OK. I'll agree to it.

-That makes POD very happy.

-I am, I'm feeling positive.

-Go for it.

-Please choose a celebrity style.

Justin Timberlake, David Beckham, Brad Pitt, Jake Gyllenhaal.

I don't know. Jake...

Who's Jake Gyllenham? I don't know who Jake Gyllenham is.

I can't even say his name. How am I supposed to get a hairstyle like his?

Choose or POD will choose for you.

Right. Jake Gynnenall. Gyllenhaal.

Oh, my God, who's he?

(Who's Jake Gyllenhaal? Who's Jake Gyllenhaal?)

-You are about to sample his style. Are you ready?

-Yeah, actually, I am.

-I'm really looking forward to it.

-Good. Run the make-under.

Oh, my God! Is that even me?

-It's a very natural you.

-I look totally different. Wow!

-Do you like it?

It's hard to say, it really is.

I can't even think of a word to describe how I look.

-How about "handsome"?

-Thank you.

-I hope so.

-POD thinks you make a lovely natural beauty.

It looks nice and I see why people would dress like this.

-POD thinks natural beauty suits you.

-Yeah, it suits us, don't get us wrong, but it's not me.

So you'd rather look like a fluorescent glowstick, would you?

Yeah. I based my old look on a futuristic style, so technically,

I should be wearing something trendy in the future.

I'm just a bit ahead of my time, I suppose.

I've literally no idea what you're talking about, but POD loves your natural beauty.

-Thank you.

-Now, try and keep it.

-Goodbye.

-Thank you, POD. Bye.

Oh, my gosh! I didn't even recognise Keiran!

But has he kept it up or has he gone back to his neon ways?

He's here!

He didn't stay, and we knew he wouldn't!

-How long did it take to go back this way?

-How long did it take?

Less than a day.

-An hour?

-Less than an hour.

When you agreed to do the make-under, was that because you wanted to see how you would look?

That was to change people's perception of me as a person,

and let them know that I can change if I want to, but I'm not going to because I'm me.

Talk me through what your ideal world would be.

My ideal world would be a UV world, because everyone would be happier and the world would be more colourful.

The world's a blank canvas and I'm adding colour to it.

Is my grey dullness offending your eyes?

-It is a bit, yeah. ..I'm only joking!

-Would you recommend having a make-under to someone else?

Absolutely. It's an amazing experience and a fantastic day out.

POD would think this mission has been a failure, because you've not changed.

-But in your eyes it's been a big success cos it's confirmed who you are as an individual.

-Absolutely.

It's redefined UVK as a person, and obviously as a model and a designer.

-Have you got a message for POD?

-I do.

I think me and POD had an understanding, but I'm still UVK.

Yay!

Now, for those of you who are prone to the odd beauty disaster, there's no need to despair.

Frost is here to fix it for you.

I'm just finishing painting my nails and as usual I'm in a big rush.

I've been told the quickest way to dry nails - because I'm always smudging them -

is to get a sink full of ice-cold water and plunge your wet nails into the water,

and sit patiently - which I'm not very good at - for a minute.

SHE WHISTLES

Right. That should do it.

They are perfectly dry, smudge-free for once, for me,

and I'm going to rock'n'roll. Laters!

Do you remember the Pure Glamour Girls?

They went into POD and shook their booties and she turned them into natural beauties.

Have they kept it up or gone back to their glamorous ways? Let's meet them and find out.

-Hey, girls.

-Hi!

-Did you enjoy your make-under experience?

-Yeah, it was a good experience.

-I liked my outfit.

Before the make-under, what were your perceptions of natural beauty and have they changed?

We've toned down the make-up. We've toned that down and everything.

We go out with less make-up.

Before, we had so much blusher on and so much lipstick and dark eyes,

but it's gone back to natural colours and stuff.

-How did you feel when you saw each other?

-It was different!

Everyone looked so different.

-Everyone changed.

-I hardly recognised them!

Have you found yourselves attracting a different type of men since the make-up was toned down a bit?

Yeah, like, we're more approachable now, now that we look less intimidating and stuff.

People now look past just our looks and stuff.

They see that we have got brains as well as beauty, so, yeah.

You all have that! You wanted to prove that you weren't just about the dancing.

-You're obviously all intelligent girls. What's next for Pure Glamour Girls?

-World domination!

Well, girls, you've been great fun and fantastic dancers,

and I'm really, really glad that you've taken something away - that less make-up is more.

-Have you got a message for POD?

-Thank you, POD.

It was a great experience. But we will always be Pure Glamour Girls.

Impressive work today, POD, although not quite as impressive as all that bum-wiggling.

I think you'll find their natural beauty was, Frost.

I quite agree. They looked stunning.

Of course they did. Did you really expect anything less?

No, I did not, but I do expect you need some rest.

Indeed I do. Good night, Jenny Frost.

Good night, POD. POD off.

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