Episode 10 Snog Marry Avoid?

# When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star

# I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world

# Drive nice cars I wanna have boobies... #

Most of us love getting dressed up for that special occasion

and putting on a tad more make-up than we would day to day,

but some girls need to learn to step away from the glitter

and put down the false tan.

These girls love their make-up and all things fake

and refuse to give them up without a fight.

They don't need a makeOVER, they need a makeUNDER.

Welcome to the gorgeously natural world of the makeunder!

This is POD, your personal overhaul device.

-Hello, POD.

-Hello, the Frost.

How's the old mission going?

My mission to transform everyone into stunning natural beauties

is going podding brilliantly, thank you very much.

No need to get shirty, I'm here to help after all!

-Yes, you are.

-But I'm going to be good cop to your bad cop.

Just get on with it, Frost.

Coming up on tonight's show...

I like wearing sexy stuff.

For a big night out, my make-up has to be flawless, fabulous and fierce.

I just love having big boobs and knowing that they get attention.

Tonight, three plastic princesses will experience the magic

of a makeunder!

Do you want to know who is up first?

That would be very helpful, Frost.

First up is a lovely Liverpudlian called Kelsey. Be nice.

Loading background data.

Hi, I'm Kelsey, I'm a sexy Scouser,

I love feeling really sexy and looking dead sexy.

I just love feeling sexy. Sexy, sexy and sophisticated.

I am a curvy girl and I like showing my curves off.

I like wearing sexy stuff.

I love wearing false tan because it makes you look perfect.

It makes me feel sexy and a lot more attractive.

Orange!

I'm putting the towel round me cos I forgot to bring my clothes.

I've got to go home in a towel!

She doesn't need all the fake tan, the fake eyelashes, the fake nails,

fake blonde hair, cos she's gorgeous the way she is.

The colour on my face is progressing and getting a bit darker.

I just like being fake.

I'm single, so when I go out I really go for it

to get loads of attention of all the lads.

You do tend to get a lot of boys staring and whistling.

I like to be the centre of attention.

It's just about showing people your body and just letting them know

how sexy you really are.

Bye!

-Hello, babe, how are you?

-I'm fine.

What is it about Liverpool that makes everybody get so glammed up,

no matter what night of the week it is?

Cos in Liverpool we've got the best-looking lads ever.

I agree, I love a Scouse boy.

How long does it take you to get ready for a night out?

Sometimes it can take, like, two days.

I start planning the day before so I am ready for the next night.

Is this an average outfit for a night out?

This is what I'd wear on a BIG night out.

Are you nervous about going into POD?

I'm so nervous, I'm scared.

POD can be quite harsh sometimes, but a good Scouse girl,

you'll give as good as you get?

I'll be able to take it and give as good as I get.

Kelsey, gorgeous girl. Good luck in POD, I know you'll be fabulous.

Good luck!

-I am POD, who are you?

-I'm Kelsey.

-Kelsey?

-Yes, POD?

-Where do you come from?

-Liverpool.

-POD computes Liverpool is famous for its football team.

-Yeah.

-Do you like football?

-Yeah.

-Who is you favourite footballer?

-Steven Gerrard.

-Would you like to be his WAG?

-Yeah!

-What would you and Steven Gerrard have in common?

Footballs and clothes and money.

Hmm, do you know much about football, Kelsey?

I know a bit about football, actually, considering I'm a girl.

In that case, please explain the offside rule to POD.

When you kick a ball offside...

-Hmm, very informative. Do you like other sports?

-Yeah.

-I go shopping.

-Is that really a sport, Kelsey?

It's a girl's sport, yeah, I think.

-And what are the rules to this girl's sport?

-Do not buy tacky clothes.

WHISTLE BLOWS FOUL. RED CARD.

-Kelsey, you have already broken your own rules.

-Well, that is just rude.

Well, so is your outfit. SHE LAUGHS

-Kelsey?

-Yes, POD?

Why do you wear all that slap?

-Cos I like it.

-What do you look like without it?

Ugly, nearly dead and disgusting.

The only thing that's nearly dead about you is that skunk on your head.

-No!

-When was the last time your natural beauty wasn't buried under all that slap?

When I was about 14.

-And what did you look like?

-Ugly.

POD thinks there is nothing ugly about this girl.

-That's just wrong.

-What are the differences between then and now?

Then, I looked ugly and young and stupid,

and now I look fashionable and sexy and cute.

POD completely disagrees.

Why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

Cos that many people are telling me that I'm too fake

and they don't like me look, so I'm just curious

to see what I would look like.

All in good time, Kelsey, but now it's time to find out if people

-who don't know you think you are too fake, too. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

I asked men, would you buy this girl jewellery, dinner or a kebab?

I'm gonna say dinner. I'll be very upset if someone says kebab.

-Dinner.

-Play.

Probably a kebab, cos she looks cheap.

-Definitely the kebab.

-I would buy her a kebab

because I think that's all she would really be worth.

I'd like to see them say it to me face.

80% of the people we asked wanted to buy you a kebab.

I am so shocked!

I also asked, would you snog, marry or avoid her?

-I'd say bottom, avoid.

-Play.

-I would avoid her.

-I would avoid her, she looks cheap.

I'd definitely avoid her. She looks like a complete tart.

Now I am fuming.

The majority of the men we asked wanted to avoid you completely.

Well, that's their loss, isn't it?

-Hmm, are you ready for my verdict, Kelsey?

-Yeah.

You are a wannabe WAG whose tacky style would get you sent off

and you need my red card to red carpet makeunder.

Here is your makeunder menu.

Choose a new hair colour.

Ebony, dark chocolate, vibrant copper, caramel blonde.

Er, caramel blonde.

Choose a celebrity style - Rachel Bilson, Gwyneth Paltrow,

-Mischa Barton, Sienna Miller.

-Sienna Miller.

It is now time for the next stage of my beauty programme.

This is where you will remove all of your slap.

-No, I don't want to do that in front of everyone.

-Tough.

-Please don't, don't want to.

-Please put on your deep cleanse uniform.

Put on the head garment.

-I'm not putting that stupid hat on my head.

-Yes, you are.

-Can't I just leave a little bit down?

-No you can't, get on with it.

Ahh, that's out of order, that.

-So is your sticky orange face, now start wiping.

-I look awful.

-Show me the state of that pad.

-Look how orange it is!

-My point exactly.

-Ahh, I am really fake, aren't I?

Yes, you are, Kelsey, but you already look much better.

I look like I've just jumped out of a coffin.

That's your natural beauty coming back to life.

-This is just plain ugly.

-POD thinks you look very pretty.

How are you feeling about seeing the new you?

Dead excited.

Run phase 3 - the makeunder.

Oh, my God!

-What do you think?

-Yeah, it's lovely.

-Can you see you are a natural beauty?

-Don't know.

POD thinks you look very elegant.

It looks nicer than I what I thought it was gonna look.

What do you think of your dress?

Maybe with a belt and a bit shorter and no tights.

No, Kelsey, it's time to get sophisticated.

-Where would you wear this outfit?

-To go to dinner.

-And what would you order?

-Caviar or something in this frock!

-Not a kebab then?

-No way!

-Shall we see if the public have changed their minds?

-Yeah...

-Play.

I'd buy her jewellery, cos she looks like a classy lady.

Dinner, she looks like good company.

I would buy her dinner because she looks like a pretty, natural girl

-and I'd be happy to be seen with her.

-Yay!

Now no-one wanted to buy you a kebab. 80% said dinner

and the rest said jewellery.

Brilliant, just made up that no-one wanted to buy me a kebab,

I'm far too good for a kebab.

-Shall we see if less people would avoid you now?

-Yeah.

I would snog her. She's really fit and kinda sexy.

I would snog her.

I would definitely snog her, she looks well cute

-and naturally pretty.

-Wow.

90% of the men we asked now want to snog you, and the rest

-want to marry you.

-That's good.

Here is your natural beauty data. A classic evening dress accessorized

with a hat gives an individual twist on a sophisticated look.

A soft pink blush on the apple of the cheek is a great way to give skin

a healthy glow without the need for layers and layers of bronzer.

I like it. I like me make-up. It does look nice.

It doesn't look like I've got any on, does it?

When you are as naturally pretty as you, you don't need a lot of make-up.

It does look better.

Will you keep your new look?

I think I definitely will stick to wearing less make-up.

-Do you promise?

-Promise!

POD computes this makeunder has been a complete success.

Yeah, it's been lovely.

-Goodbye, Kelsey.

-Bye!

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, my God! You look gorgeous!

-Do you like it?

-I love it.

I've got tears in my eyes. You look gorgeous!

I look dead different, though, don't I?

-Kelsey, you look gorgeous.

-I do definitely like this look better.

Yeah, it's well better. I love it. You look gorgeous.

Oh, my God, I'm crying!

Wow, Kelsey looked fantastic, but who knew somebody

could be so offended by a kebab?!

Will she keep her classy new look? We'll find out later.

Now, we all love beauty tip or two, but some of you

have gone a spray tan too far.

A word to the wise - don't believe everything you hear.

Fake eyelashes, black eyeliner, white eyeliner on the inside

and I just go out then.

I always wear sun cream on my lips, to make them nice and soft.

-Don't straighten your hair.

-Don't straighten, blow it.

Making sure you smell and look gorgeous is really important

before you go out.

-Lots of eye make-up.

-Definitely fake tan.

Fake tan, all the way. No need for sun beds. It ruins your skin.

I put eyelashes on and put a little bit of mascara on,

so they don't look too fake.

You have got to have your bling, your bracelets, your earrings.

Too much would make it a bit tacky.

Smoky eyes are always a killer for the lads.

Always try and be yourself.

Don't care what anyone else thinks.

Faith and Prada!

Next into POD is Dani, who loves her fake boobs

and isn't afraid to show them off.

Call me crazy but I have a feeling POD might have a problem with that!

I'm Dani, I'm 25 and I'm a glamour model.

I've had my boobs done twice and now they are an F.

I do prefer them bigger. I would even do it again.

# I can give you what you want... #

I think it's a porn star look.

Not that I want to be a porn star, but I do like the porn star look.

# I can make your heart beat short... #

I just love having big boobs and knowing that they get attention.

I think people are really negative about my boobs when they're jealous.

Anyone who likes me likes my boobs.

Lots of blusher, because I like to be orange.

As long as I've got eyeliner and mascara on, I'm quite happy.

My make-up is not very natural.

-She should be more natural.

-More natural, we think.

That's my make-up done.

This is my hair.

It's just so much easier than having your own hair.

I think hair extensions just look more glamorous.

If I'm going out, actually clubbing, then I wear as little as possible.

Every single time we got out, people will stare at her all the time.

I like to be noticed.

I've been single for ages and I've kind have given up a little bit.

I usually tend to attract drunk guys.

Nice guys might be a bit intimidated.

-Hello, Dani. How are you?

-I'm good.

Let me see this outfit, give us a flash.

Pink corset, little polka-dot pants. They're see-through at the back.

Like going out with no knickers on?

But I wear a thong underneath, so, you know...everything's hidden.

Do you think your look makes you less approachable to men?

I probably am unapproachable because of how I look.

Do you think, with a makeunder, you're going to attract a different kind of guy, maybe find a nice guy?

I think with a makeunder, I would find nice men.

The kind of settling down men, rather than drunken party animals.

Are you excited about your makeunder,

or feeling slightly dubious?

I'm ready for POD, I'm just not ready to be brunette again.

Dani, I'm going to wish you good luck now.

I'll see you on the other side but will you be blonde

or will you be brunette? We shall see.

-I'm POD, who are you?

-Hi POD, I'm Dani.

Why are you dressed like a bar wench Barbie who forgot her skirt?

I'm not! A pink corset, little pants - I think it's cute.

POD thinks it's rude.

I like the way I dress,

I like pink and I like the Barbie look and blonde hair and big boobs.

I can see that. Are they your natural assets?

My boobs aren't natural. Not much of me is natural.

You do surprise me! How about your tan? Is that natural?

My tan is all sun bed because I don't believe in leaving anybody

with orange sheets.

POD doesn't compute. Please explain orange sheets.

You might stay at someone's and if you wear fake tan, their sheets

-go orange and then everyone knows you've got fake tan on.

-Hmm, I see.

So it's better to damage your skin than damage someone's sheet?

-Yes, I do know this POD, OK.

-Aren't you worried about getting wrinkles?

If I do, I'll just have Botox.

Why not grow old gracefully?

I won't. I'll have facelifts and I'll be nipped and tucked and stretched and be fine.

You mean to tell POD that your addiction to fakery

is going to get worse?

My addiction to fakery could get worse. I even consider

other things, but I'm being good now and not having anything else done.

That is a relief, but it's POD's mission to rid the world

of fakery, and it sounds like I got to you just in time.

I like fakery. Fake is good. Look at Pamela Anderson.

She's fake and she's also 40 and she looks great.

OK, let's look at Pamela Anderson. Here she is at 40,

and here are her boobs.

So how will you and your plastic idol, Pammy, look aged 60?

Well, here's a woman who's had repeated plastic surgery.

It's Rocky's mum, Jackie Stallone. The choice is yours, girls.

-That's a bit rude.

-That's a matter of opinion. Do you have a boyfriend?

No, I'm single but, you know, it's OK.

What men do you attract with this look?

Drunk party animals and players.

-POD can't think why.

-Because men like blonde hair and big boobs.

Even if they say they don't, secretly, they probably do a bit.

Ahh, I see. Thank you for clearing that up.

Why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

Because I've been single for four years and I kind of think

I don't attract the right kind of men, looking like this,

so if I have a makeunder, I'd attract different types of men.

POD thinks your stunning natural beauty will definitely attract

-a better sort of chap.

-Thank you.

-Are you ready for the first stage of my beauty programme?

-Ready.

Run phase one.

I asked men only, would you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?

-OK.

-What do you think they said?

-Ah, snog.

-Play.

Avoid, like the plague.

Avoid, without a doubt.

I, personally, would definitely avoid her.

She's got too much boobies, too much to handle.

I like a woman with natural boobies.

He just couldn't handle it.

And he's not alone. 65% of the men we asked wanted to avoid you completely.

Well, what can I say? That 65% of people are wrong.

The only thing that's wrong is your obsession with fakery.

I also asked, how old is she? 20, 25 or 30?

-Oh, God, 25.

-Play.

I'm gonna go for 32 maybe?

-Too much make-up, hiding the wrinkles maybe.

-About 30.

I think she's 30, an older girl that's trying to look young.

But it ain't happening.

I don't know anybody who would say I look 30.

Well, 70% of the people we asked said you do look 30 or older.

They're all bitchy. They're probably just ones that know

they couldn't have me so they're gonna bitch.

Hmm. Are you ready for my verdict?

-I'm ready.

-Dani, you're a big-boobed fake fanatic, heading towards

a future made of plastic. You need my "stop in the name of natural beauty"

makeunder and you need it immediately. Run the makeunder.

-Oh, my God!

-What do you think?

Do you know what? I actually do quite like it, I think.

-What do you like most?

-I think the make-up looks nice, like, natural.

POD thinks you look very pretty as a brunette.

-Do you think?

-Yes.

-I like it. I think it's nice. If I was looking

at somebody else and they looked like this,

I'd think it was nice, but I just think that I'm blonde at heart.

What's so good about fake blonde hair?

I wanna look glamorous. It might be pretty

but it's pretty and plain, not pretty and glam.

POD thinks there's nothing plain about your stunning natural beauty.

-Thank you.

-Shall we see what the public think

of your new brunette look?

-Yes, POD.

-Before, the majority of the men we asked wanted to avoid you.

Let's see what they would do now.

-Play.

-I'd probably snog her, if she was up for it.

Yeah, probably a snog.

I think she looks beautiful. I think the brown hair

shows off her complexion and brings out her features.

-Now, 60% want to snog you, and the rest want to marry you.

-OK.

How does it feel to hear people say you're beautiful, Dani?

It's nice that people said nicer stuff but I'm not bothered.

It doesn't mean I'll stay like this at all.

Here is your natural beauty data.

Dark chestnut hair is a great colour to bring out your stunning blue eyes.

Wearing a fitted jacket that's tailored to your body is a great way

to avoid swamping a petite frame. Do you like your jacket, Dani?

I really like the jacket, but I could wear it out

with a little pair of knickers. No, Dani, no!

-Sorry.

-Is there any chance that you'll be keeping this new look?

I won't keep this look. I'll definitely be going blonde again.

Even if you only attract players?

I might be sacrificing the opportunity to meet nice men

but I don't want to meet nice boring men.

-I want nice, fun men.

-Drunk players don't sound like much fun to POD.

I'm still gonna go back to blonde.

That's a shame, as POD thinks you make a lovely natural beauty.

It's just not for me right now. Maybe one day I'll go dark again.

I don't know. Just not now.

POD hopes that day won't be too far off.

-Goodbye.

-Bye!

HER FRIEND LAUGHS

-You look so different!

-I know.

I like the jeans and the shoes.

The jeans and the heels are quite nice.

I thought it made her look younger and it made her look really...

She is pretty, but it made her look really, really pretty.

-I think the make-up and hair...

-I hate the hair.

You don't like the hair at all? I really like it.

-I don't think dark hair is glamorous.

-But you look more sophisticated.

But I am blonde and I have massive boobs and I like to flaunt it.

So, it's back to the old Dani, then?

What a shame Dani didn't like it.

I thought she looked great as a brunette.

Maybe POD will have more luck with her next visitor, Collagen Girl.

Then again, maybe not!

I'm POD. Who are you?

-Collagen Girl.

-What's your real name?

Collagen Westwood Botoxina Versace.

Hmm, glad you cleared that up.

-Do you actually have any collagen in your lips?

-Not yet, but soon.

Why do you want to squirt chemicals into your lips?

Um, I wanna look like Pete Burns. I wanna have big lips, like that.

-Why?

-Cos he's sex on legs.

Hmm. Accessing data. POD doesn't compute

why you want to look like a man in drag?

-He's beautiful.

-Are you a drag queen?

No, but I want to be. I'm a diva-in-practising, obviously.

Obviously. Do you have any other ambitions?

To be a famous singer.

So, do you do any numbers?

I used to be a Cher impersonator.

Interesting. Will you perform for POD?

Oh, my God. I don't know.

-Oh, go on.

-# If I could turn back time

# If I could find a way

# I'll take back those words that hurt you

# And you'd say... #

-That was very impressive.

-Thank you.

-But, please, don't impersonate Cher's plastic-fantastic face.

-I love Cher.

She's got a nice voice and she's got a gorgeous plastic face.

What makes you say that?

Cos I stand for all things plastic, 100% fake.

POD only computes 100% natural.

-Maybe you should upgrade.

-Maybe YOU should stop before it's too late.

Yes.

Why have you come to see POD today?

Um, I'd like to have a new look, I guess, to see what I look like.

In that case, POD is going to show you how to look like a naturally

fabulous diva without the need for plastic parts.

-Oh, my God! That's fabulous.

-Are you ready?

Yes.

Run the makeunder.

-Oh, my God.

-So, what do you think?

I like it. I feel like a '50s film star.

POD thinks you look like one too.

Wow, gorgeous.

What do you think of your make-up?

What make-up?

Someone as naturally pretty as you doesn't need a lot of make-up.

-Would you like to know how I achieved your gorgeous look?

-Definitely.

A pencil skirt paired with a chunky belt cinches in the waist

and creates a feminine hourglass shape.

This classic '40s style gives a gorgeous and glamorous look

and shows off the natural diva in you.

-Do you still want to look like a drag queen?

-I like being drag queenish

but this is good for the day.

What do you think of natural beauty now?

Er, it can be good if it's done right, if it's done by POD.

-Correct.

-I'd still have my lips bigger, like this.

Incorrect!

POD's amazing. I'm a big fan.

POD is a big fan of your naturally fabulous look.

-Fabulous.

-But not of your obsession with plastic.

-Yeah.

-Goodbye

-Bye-bye.

Now, for all of you out there who have ever had a make-up mishap

or a beauty disaster, I know how you feel.

So, in the name of all things girly, I've sacrificed myself for you,

to make sure it doesn't happen again. You can thank me later!

For a really intensive moisturising experience

without going to the spa, it's very easy to do.

All you need is moisturiser, some Mickey Mouse gloves, and some socks.

You put lots of moisturiser on your feet before you go to bed.

Then put your socks on, and in the morning,

your feet should be lovely and soft.

Then put on our little magic white gloves.

Overnight, the heat from the gloves and the socks will intensify

the moisturising action. Your hands and feet will be lovely and soft.

So...I'm going to bed now.

I'll see you in the morning.

ALARM RINGS

Morning.

Right, let's see if our little experiment's worked.

Socks off.

Well, lovely and soft.

In fact, I think it's taken years off me.

Well, my hands and feet, anyway.

Do you remember the Scouse beauty from earlier on in the show,

the gorgeous Kelsey? She looked fabulous after a make under,

but how she kept the natural ways or gone back to naughty false tan?

Let's meet the girl now and find out. Hello, beautiful.

-Hiya.

-Tell me about your makeunder.

I enjoyed it loads, I really did like it.

But I just had to go back to blonde.

What did you think of natural beauty before,

and has your perception changed now, since the makeunder?

I didn't ever think that I'd still look nice with less make-up on,

more natural-looking make-up.

But it's better when I come in of a night and wake up

in the morning! Not as scary!

-What do your family think of it?

-They all loved it.

They said it looks well better than what I did before.

Is there anything from the makeunder that you couldn't live without?

-The hair.

-Me hair. I think that's it.

I've gone without the false tan and the big black eyes

and the fake eyelashes... and the red lips!

What has the makeunder experience taught you?

It has learnt me that, with make-up,

less is definitely more, but not when it comes down to clothes!

Did you enjoy it and would you recommend it to someone else?

I loved it. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who wants to do it.

It's brilliant.

I think you look beautiful with a lot less make-up.

You're an absolutely gorgeous girl.

-Thanks for letting us give you a makeunder.

-Thank you.

-POD, you must be exhausted, you worked so hard today.

-Yes, I have.

If only everyone appreciated my efforts as much as you.

Well, nobody said it would be easy but yours is a noble mission.

Thank you, Jenny Frost. Your support means a lot to POD.

Always, POD, but you need to get some rest now.

-Good night, The Frost.

-Lots of love, POD. POD off.

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