Episode 9 Snog Marry Avoid?

# I should be the face of every fashion magazine

# I'm gonna feel that feeling Gonna lose control tonight... #

To be or not to be a natural beauty? That is the question.

And some of you out there have got a lot to answer for.

Yes, we mean you, fake fans, because we are changing the script,

so put down those eyeliner pens, erase that blusher, and tear out those hair extensions.

It's time for a whole new chapter.

Hello, POD.

POD?

Oh, Jeremy! Jeremy!

POD, wake up! POD, wake up!

For POD's sake, wake up.

Oh, hello, The Frost. Have I overslept?

Yes, lazybones. It's time to wake up. We've a lot of work to do.

Yes, quite right, Jenny Frost. I do apologise. I don't know what came over me.

Well, get yourself together now. You've got a lot to do today,

and these girls will not makeunder themselves.

Coming up on tonight's show...

My style is the tighter, the better, the shorter, the better.

POD gives the reality stars a reality check

as she takes on a Big Brother beauty,

and X Factor girl group, Kandy Rain.

If we had to go on stage with no make-up on, I think we'd all die.

And if that wasn't enough,

she then faces attack from a hazardous substance.

Keep everybody safe from my Bio Hazardness.

-Right! Are you ready, POD?

-I most certainly am.

-Good, cos you're going to need all your energy for this one.

-I'm ready! Let me at her!

Hi. I'm Sophie, winner of Big Brother 10. Whey-hey!

'I think people probably remember me from Big Brother as the girl with the big boobs.'

I love getting my boobs out.

I paid for these. I'm going to show them off.

I do absolutely everything with my dogs.

# Who let the dogs out?

# Who, who, who, who, who? #

Let's get you dressed, Mooey, eh? Yes. He wants to get dressed now.

There we go! What do you think, Moo-moo?

# Who let the dogs out? #

I'm now going to paint Moo's nails for her, so it matches her nice tutu.

Let's go. Let's go for walkies.

Come on. Come on. Come on!

When it comes to make-up, it's all about perfection.

Perfect.

My mum always tans my legs for me.

Come on, Mum. Tan me up.

Is that all right?

My style is the tighter, the better, the shorter, the better.

Sometimes she goes over the top, and I say,

"Sophie, you need to put a bit more on."

This is my little gold-digger's outfit.

Sss!

Everywhere you go, you go out with her, heads turn.

# The boys and the girls They got me going on... #

I just love it. I love all the attention on me.

I'm single and I am ready to mingle.

'When I go out I never take any money with me,

'because guys constantly come up to me and buy me drinks.

'Why spend my money when I can spend someone else's?'

I feel sorry for POD. Bring it on, because I'm not going down easily.

I'm going to put up a fight.

-Hello, Sophie.

-Hi. How are you?

I'm fine, thank you. And Moo and Army, it's lovely to meet you all. You're all gorgeous.

Well, thank you!

Pass me the pooches and show me your outfit. Come on, you two.

Right. Give us a flash.

Wowzers! Is it all about accentuating your best features, shall we say?

Yeah, I love my boobs. They're like my best friends, so...

If I cover them up, they slip out the bra. Might as well show them off.

-Right. Shall we go back to Mummy? There we are.

-Thank you.

So, are you three ready to meet POD?

We're ready. We're ready for it, ready to defend our look.

Gorgeous Sophie, I'm going to wish you good luck in POD now,

and I'll see you three on the other side.

-I am POD. Who are you?

-I'm Sophie.

Do you always get your puppies out?

Which puppies are you on about?

The pair of puppies that are pretty hard to miss.

I always have my puppies on show. Everybody wants to see them.

You'd show your puppies off if you had some.

Incorrect. Do those diddy dogs have names?

This one's called Army, and this one's called Moo.

-And how do they feel about being on show?

-They love it.

They don't mind being shown off. They love all the attention. My puppies like it more than I do!

Well, your puppies have had quite enough attention already. It's well and truly time to put them away.

Huh! Where'd they go?

-Like their owner, they are in POD's doghouse.

-Oh, that's not very nice now.

-Why are you wearing next to nothing?

-It's not next to nothing, POD. I've got some shorts on.

-I got a bra on, and I got a top on.

-What do you do for a living?

I do glamour modelling and I do a bit of TV work, POD.

Hmm, interesting.

What TV work have you done?

I won Big Brother 2009.

-And now you're a glamour model?

-Yeah.

It means I get my boobs out for a living!

Well, POD would like to give those great big balls of plastic the sack.

Oh, that's so mean! That is really mean. You've really upset my boobs now.

-Boo-hoo!

-They are devastated.

They just said they don't want to speak to you now.

-Fine by me. They look pretty dumb anyway.

-They're not!

They are. They chose to risk hypothermia by wandering around

in just a pink polyester bra.

Oh, I love that! I love that outfit.

That was after I had my boob job done.

I love that. I'd wear that right now if I could.

POD would not allow you to wear that tacky tat in here.

Oh, how dare you say my look's tacky?!

That look's really nice, I'll have you know.

Incorrect! What do you think of natural beauty?

-This is natural beauty.

-Are you making a little joke?

It's natural, except I've just got hair extensions, false eyelashes,

make-up and false boobs, but that's it.

There's not really a lot of falseness there.

-No, not if you're a complete fake.

-POD loves a bit of fakeness.

POD hates fakeness. It is POD's mission to rid the world of fakery and you are next on my list.

I know what POD's mission is. You're trying to make me look naked!

Incorrect. Besides, you've done a pretty good job of looking naked all by yourself!

Why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

I would love for people to take me very seriously, and for me to get further in my TV presenting career.

-POD thinks people will definitely take you more seriously once I've worked my magic on you.

-Oh!

It is now time to find out what the public think of your current look.

Oh, I'm so nervous. I don't even know why.

Run phase one, public analysis. Are you ready, Sophie?

Yeah, hit me with it.

I asked the public would you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?

-Snog!

-Why snog?

-Everyone wants to snog me. You want to snog me.

-I most certainly do not.

-Yes, you do.

-No, I don't. Play.

I would avoid her because she looks like she needs to put more clothes on.

She looks like she could be pretty, but she's trying a bit too hard.

I would snog her cos she's very attractive, but I couldn't marry her cos I couldn't bring that home.

I would avoid her.

I think her whole look isn't very sexy and I think it's just way too much.

I also asked the rapper Chipmunk what he thought of your look.

Would you like to know what he said?

-Oh, yes, please.

-Play.

That girl I'd avoid, man.

I think girls need to understand that less isn't always more, like.

You can look decent covered up. See what I'm saying?

Oh, he's a cheeky Chipmunk, isn't he?

Oh, well, I don't like him anyway.

Well, a massive 75% agreed with the cheeky Chipmunk

-and wanted to avoid you completely.

-Behave!

It's not my fault they didn't want to snog you.

They're jealous and want to look like me.

I hardly think 75% of the men we asked want to have boobs that look like cannonballs.

Are you ready for my verdict?

Go on, then, POD. Hit me with it. I'm ready for you.

Sophie, you are a puppy-flaunting fake lady whose skimpy style is well and truly in the doghouse,

and you need my...

-OK!

-Here is your makeunder menu.

Choose a new hair colour - copper brown, auburn, ebony, honey blonde.

Copper brown.

Choose a celebrity style - Rachel Bilson, Leighton Meester, Emma Watson, Taylor Swift.

-Taylor Swift.

-Thank you, Sophie.

It is now time to scrub you clean and prepare you for natural beauty.

-What, take my clothes off?

-No, Sophie, not your clothes.

Oh, I was going to take them off for you!

I can assure you, it is not your clothes that will be coming off now.

-Oh, you're going to take my make-up off, aren't you?

-Correct.

Run phase two...

Please put on your deep cleanse uniform.

-Now I look like a dinner lady!

-And today you will be serving up a massive helping of natural beauty.

This is not a good look!

-Now, get wiping, Reade.

-I'm scrubbing. I'm scrubbing.

-Yes, you are a bit of a scrubber, aren't you?

-What?!

Show me the state of that wipe.

-How are you feeling?

-I feel naked.

-Well, you look lovely.

-Oh, thank you!

-Are you ready to meet the new you?

-I'm ready. Bring it on, POD.

I will. Run the makeunder.

Oh, my God, it's so different!

I look really different.

That doesn't look like me!

Do you like it?

I like it. I like the dress.

I think I look like Eve out of Adam and Eve.

Well, that's an improvement on your other hellish look.

-Is that what you thought about me before?

-Yes.

Oh, you cheeky POD, aren't you?

-Well, you're a natural beauty, Sophie, aren't you?

-Yeah.

But then I'm giving in to you if I say yes.

No, you are just giving in to your stunning natural beauty.

-Oh, behave yourself!

-Would you like to know what the public think?

-Oh, can we?

-Yes. Play.

I'd marry her, I reckon.

I think I would snog her.

I would marry her because she's beautiful.

She's got really nice hair, nice eyes.

Oh, what a nice man.

20% want to snog you.

Oh, see! Everyone wants a snoochie with me, don't they?

Well, more people want to marry you.

In fact, 80% of the people we asked wanted to wed you.

I'm on to a winner here, aren't I?

Yes. Here's how I achieved your new stunning look.

For a fuller bust, choose a wider strap to balance out your top half and flatter your petite frame.

A dot of highlighter on the inner corner of the eye with

a small amount of mascara is all you need to accentuate the eyes.

Oh, I like your beauty data.

-It's good.

-Correct.

I like the make-up the best, though. It's really natural.

Do you think people will take you more seriously now?

I think they will do. I'd take myself seriously now.

-You did all right, didn't you?

-Yes, I did! Are you missing your puppies?

You can't even see my boobies!

Not THOSE puppies, THESE puppies!

Oh, my treasures are naked!

Yes, POD couldn't resist giving them a bit of a puppy-under too.

-I think we make a big, nice, happy natural family.

-Yes, you do.

-Natural beauty has been restored. Goodbye.

-Bye!

Oh, my God! I didn't recognise you at first.

I think the dress looks gorgeous,

and the colour was absolutely brilliant.

It's nice.

-I like it.

-Yeah, I do.

-It's nice.

-Do you like the make-up? It's really natural.

-Yeah. I like the dress!

I do like the dress.

It looks more classy.

I do like the look.

I'm surprised. I didn't think I would like it, but I do.

It's different, but in a good way.

It is nice to see you dressed different, isn't it?

-You always look lovely!

-Ahh!

Now, as you know on this show, we're no fake fans, but even we

can't resist taking a sneaky peek into the nation's make-up bags.

You never know what you're going to find.

My top beauty tip is, with any outfit, use an oversized clutch bag.

-A purse.

-Phone.

Disposable camera.

Perfume.

Make sure you have a spare pair of natural tights.

They suck you in, and they make you look amazing without anyone knowing.

I think bronzer. I think you should always have your bronzer in your bag.

Next up is a girl that goes by the name of Bio Hazard. Good luck, POD. You're going to need it!

I am POD. Who are you?

-I am Bio Hazard.

-What?!

I'm Bio Hazard.

Stand back.

Initiating protection mode.

Visitor, place your mask over your face.

-You may speak.

-Hello, POD.

-Why have you made this attack on POD?

-POD, you sound like a Dalek.

I am speaking through my special biohazard filter.

-State your mission.

-To destroy your mission.

POD is secure and locked down.

-You can do no harm to me or my mission in here.

-Oh, POD!

-Now, remove your mask and state your real name.

-Siobhan.

Siobhan, what is the meaning of this attack against natural beauty?

-To make you see beauty that isn't just natural.

-You do that by attaching Day-Glo belts to your head?

-It's foam, POD. It's not belts.

-Of course it is. Silly me!

But am I really meant to think that foam belts, goggles and one red eye are better than natural beauty?

Well, why not? Many people have red eyes, POD.

Yes, after a heavy night or lots of crying.

I'm sorry, POD. I'm a goth. What can I say?

Oh, I see. You're a grumpy goth.

-I'm a cyber-goth.

-What's the difference?

Cyber-goths are brightly coloured, neon, happy people.

-What makes a cyber-goth happy?

-Plastic beauty.

-Do you know what makes POD happy?

-No.

Giving people makeunders.

Oh! No!

-Ah, yes!

-You can't.

-I can!

-Ahh!

But I won't, IF you give up your mission to destroy my mission.

Don't make me do it, POD.

Don't make ME do it, Siobhan. POD has the power.

-I hate you, POD.

-So, do we have a deal?

-I think we have.

-Good. Now, POD off.

-Bye-bye, POD.

Thank POD for that!

Well done, POD. If you can survive a hazardous attack, you can survive anything.

Now, like most girls out there, I'm a sucker for a beauty tip or two.

So much so, for the sake of the sisterhood, I'm even prepared to give some of them a try.

Nobody likes dry skin on their feet.

It looks horrible, and it feels pretty nasty too.

Now, you can either spend a fortune at an expensive salon,

or you can give yourself a luxury, skin-softening foot treatment at home.

All you need is a bowl of lukewarm water,

some breakfast oats. Simply pour it in.

Now, it might look slightly bonkers, but all these oats have lovely

natural oils in which makes your skin lovely and soft.

Give that a squoosh around,

and now all I need to do is sit back and read a magazine.

But don't have the water too warm because you don't want your feet in a bowl of porridge. Not good!

Now, that should be done.

I'll just move that bowl over there, give my feet a dry...

..and my feet really do feel lovely and soft,

and all that money I saved by not going to an expensive salon,

I can buy some new shoes. Yes!

Earlier, we met the gorgeous Sophie and her puppies, and POD

toned down the party girl look and made her all demure and brunette.

Has she kept it up? Let's meet her and find out.

-Hello!

-Hiya. You all right?

-Yes, thank you! Back blonde?

I'm a blonde at heart. I've gone back to blonde again.

Have you taken any advice from POD and stuck to it?

Yeah, if I'm going to wear something like a low-cut top,

I'd wear something like trousers or a longer skirt or something.

You did this to be taken more seriously. Have you achieved that?

Yeah, I think I have achieved it. I think it's more like...

I don't know. I think I can get more out of my career now.

What positives have you taken away from this makeunder experience?

Probably that natural is probably best,

and I don't have to wear all the make-up or the less clothes and stuff.

-Maybe leave a little bit to the imagination.

-Yes, exactly,

not just show it all off!

Now, have you got a message for the POD-meister?

Erm, I'll agree with her that natural beauty does look nice,

and you don't have to wear all that make-up and all the eyelashes to look nice.

So yes, good job, POD.

When we found out X Factor girl group Kandy Rain were off on tour, we just had to tag along.

Here is our exclusive behind-the-scenes footage.

Introducing...

They are Kandy Rain, the X Factor girl group,

more famous for their risque outfits than their singing.

They upset Cheryl and Dannii with their skimpy style, but haven't let it stop them.

This is what happened when we caught up with them on tour.

# Oo wee, oo wee, oo wee, ooh

# Oo wee, oo wee, oo wee, oo wee, ooh... #

'Tonight here in New Beach Holiday Park, UK, make some noise.'

It is Kandy Rain!

Good job I've got a jacket over my head!

Oh, my God! This is... Aaargh!

'Kandy Rain are probably the only group'

that will be remembered on X Factor for being the X-rated group.

I think on X Factor, the public did get us wrong.

The press kept focusing on the fact we were strippers in our past,

but actually it was only a tiny, tiny bit of what we used to do in our lives.

I mean, Chemmane was an amazing dance teacher.

She's amazing.

I need to do my hair.

I need to do my hair as well, babe.

Kandy Rain's make-up has to be really out there, really seductive, mysterious.

If we had to go on stage with no make-up on, I think we'd all die.

I think, obviously,

since we've left X Factor, we're on the road constantly doing gigs and living out of cases.

It's fun, though. It's fun, travelling around together.

We're different from other girl groups because we're real.

We want to have fun.

The last time any girl group had fun was the Spice Girls,

and we want to bring that whole realness back,

and that is what Kandy Rain represents.

It's going too slow. We need to keep that same pace.

First positions, girls, and a really great pose, now.

I think with clothes, you should express yourselves.

In Kandy Rain, we do that. We express ourselves well.

And we love to have really sexy boots, killer heels, really anything that's stylish.

Are you ready for them? Let's go.

MUSIC: "One Vision" by Queen

# Oo-wee, oo-wee, oo-wee, oo-wee, ooo... #

-What are Kandy Rain best known for?

-Stripping.

Let's pray, because we ought to pray.

Kandy Rain!

# But I knew you thinking

# That you were true Yes I... #

Being in a band and performing on stage is amazing.

'See all the people, and they're looking at you, saying, "Oh, come over to me. Sing to me."

'It's just great.'

-'We're edgy, we're rocky.

-We're controversial.'

If you don't like us, then you don't have to watch us!

# Thanks for making me a fighter. #

-Hello, Kandy Rain.

-Hi!

-You're all looking very glamorous today.

-Thank you.

Talk me through these outfits.

Basically, these are our outfits that we like to wear on stage.

It's our new look. Leotards, you know, belts...

-How would you describe your look?

-I would say we are sexy, edgy and controversial.

-And is that how you want to stay?

-Yeah.

-Always.

So how will you feel if POD tries to change you?

-Oh, God.

-We're going to fall out.

-We're going to fall out with POD.

-Are you going to gang up on POD?

-Absolutely.

-Yeah. We are.

-We're going to kick her robot arse!

Right. Kandy Rain, I'm going to wish you good luck in POD now.

-Let's do this, girls!

-Good luck!

Ooh! Whoa!

-I am POD. Who are you?

-Who are YOU?

-I am POD. Who are you?

-Kandy Rain. We're a band. We're Kandy Rain!

Oh, are you the four ex-strippers who appeared on The X Factor?

We're not four ex-strippers. We're Kandy Rain, a girl group.

Oh, I do apologise. I thought that you used to be strippers.

We did do stripping, but that's not what...

-That's not what we're about, yeah.

-Oh, so what are you about?

Kandy Rain represents both music and fashion today.

In that case, those two industries are in a lot of trouble.

-What's your problem, POD?

-My problem is that you have turned up to POD in your underwear.

-It's not underwear!

-It's a costume!

-A costume of lacy underwear.

-Costume!

No wonder people didn't watch you sing if that's what you choose to wear.

-Loosen up, POD. I bet you'd like to be able to wear our outfits.

-Incorrect!

Neh!

Why are you called Kandy Rain?

Kandy Rain, it sums us four up. Sweet, not good for you, but we always leave a lasting impression.

-Yes, you certainly make an impression.

-Yeah! Thank you!

-POD likes us.

-A BAD impression!

-Oh! You can talk. You're a bloody robot.

POD is a personal overhaul device, not a robot, and kindly watch your language.

-Sorry!

-Oh, sorry, POD. POD, we love you.

You can make it up to me with some singing.

# Ooo... #

-Count to three, girls.

-One, two, three...

# Closer to the truth to say

# You can't get enough

# You know you're gonna have to face it

# You're addicted to love... #

-Well, you're going to have to face it, you're addicted to fakery.

-Ooh!

-As a girl group, do you have a stylist?

-No.

So, you came up with this look all by yourselves?

Yes. We are very sexy, edgy, and we like to be controversial.

Hmm. Who are your style icons?

We want to be like the new invented Spice Girls.

And what would you be? Hoodie, Lairy, Blonde and Scary?

-If you want us to be.

-Not really, no.

Can I say something? I've got a really strong feeling that we're going to be global, seriously.

Well, I have a really strong feeling you need a makeunder, seriously.

-Well done, POD.

-Well done.

Why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

We want this makeunder because we want people to see past our past

and have a look at us in something slightly more innocent.

That I can certainly do, but first, I need to run the public analysis part of my programme.

Fire away. Let's see this.

I asked, would you snog, marry or avoid these girls?

-I reckon snog.

-Snog.

-Snog.

-Play.

Avoid. They look like trouble.

I wouldn't avoid, because they got kicked off X Factor.

They are pretty hot, but they can't sing.

I would avoid all of them.

I think that person needs to get a life.

I also asked popular rap artist, Ironik.

Would you like to know what he said?

-Yeah, go on.

-This is fun!

-Play.

I'd probably give one of them a snog,

but I wouldn't make any of them my girlfriend.

# Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? #

Obviously not, since 80% of the people we asked

-agreed with Ironik and wanted to avoid you.

-Oh, no!

Are you ready for my verdict?

Hold on. It feels like the X Factor finals. Hold on.

The public have voted, and they have decided the act that they would like to avoid is...

-..Kandy Rain!

-No!

So, you will undergo my...

-Go on. Show us what you got, POD. Come on. Bring it on.

-By all means. Run the makeunder.

-Ahh!

-Oh, God!

-Well?

-Oh, my God. I'm actually crying.

-Sorry, POD, the earring's going.

-Do not throw your earring in POD.

-I had to throw that

-BLEEP

-away.

-Do not swear in POD.

-Look at the state of her!

-I take it you don't like your looks, then?

-Do I like this look? I say, "No."

-She loves it.

-This look is ridiculous.

-I think the dress looks horrible on me.

Oh! It's like, what's happened to us?

POD has made you stunning natural beauties.

-The hair's horrible, and the make-up, I could do a better job myself in the dark.

-Yeah.

POD is sorry that you find your new look so very offensive.

-It just looks awful.

-Has anyone got anything positive to say?

-I like the gold thing. It's actually a necklace.

-That's nice.

-I'd actually wear this. Hair is nice as well.

-Yes, Coco.

-POD thinks you look lovely.

-Coco I think looks best out of all of us.

Yeah, I think Coco looks the best.

-Would you like to know what the public think of your new look?

-No thanks.

-No!

-Tough.

-Go on!

-Play.

Snog, because they're lovely!

I would snog all of them because they look fantastic.

They look classy. They hold themselves well.

-Blah, blah, blah.

-It's a lie.

I'd probably marry them because they're pretty wholesome.

They look like the sort of ladies you'd want to take home to Mum.

If you like me like this, I don't want to go out with you. You're clearly blind.

-Yeah, no thanks!

-No!

60% want to snog you, and everyone else wanted to marry you.

I feel sorry for the public. They want to marry us looking like this? Listen!

You're going to stay a bachelor all your life.

Here is your natural beauty data.

As a group, mix colours and styles instead of a uniform of black,

to give you each a stand-out individual look.

A fitted cocktail dress is a sexy way to make a statement,

without the need for barely-there clothes and fishnet stockings.

Do you know what? I would rather wear a bin bag.

POD is sad that you can't see you look like a sophisticated, classy and naturally beautiful girl band.

-It's just hideous.

-Awful.

-Well, there doesn't seem to be a lot more to say.

-What?

Let me put it another way - POD off.

Bye! Thank you for wasting our time!

Ah, POD, that was a bit unexpected. Are you OK?

Well, Jenny Frost, POD is a bit sad that Kandy Rain couldn't see how lovely they looked, but don't worry.

I'll be fine.

In case you're wondering, we decided not to catch up with the girls,

as we didn't want to waste any more of their time.

Probably for the best, Frost. They made their feelings clear.

You're not one to hold back on your opinions either.

Yes, but my opinions are always right. You know that.

Good to see you're as confident as ever. But now I think you need rest.

-Good night, Jenny Frost.

-Good night, POD. POD off.

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