Episode 8 Snog Marry Avoid?

Calling all fake fans out there! We want you to join the natural beauty revolution.

Oh, yes, it's well and truly time you made peace with your gorgeous, natural selves.

We are taking down the tan, slaying the slap,

so come on, join us in the fight against fakery

and become a natural beauty recruit.

Hello, POD. How are you today? Well, apart from being rather purple.

I am feeling tip-top and ready to face some fakery, Frost.

-Pretty much the same as every day?

-Indeed. Every day is a joy when you're a Personal Overhaul Device

-with a fresh batch of fakes to turn into natural beauties.

-You know what?

You are very lucky that you are so happy in your work.

Today, there's a lot of it to do.

-Well, we best get cracking, then, hadn't we, Frost?

-Indeed we had.

Coming up - POD meets a girl whose obsession with fakery

is driving her boyfriend up the wall...

You're gorgeous. You don't need to look like you've been Tango-ed.

..a barmaid from Magaluf...

I like to work hard but I like to party harder.

..and one seriously kooky customer...

I try to look as fake as possible.

-I don't like looking like a real person.

-So, POD,

-are you ready for our first girl?

-Not only am I ready, I can't POD-ing wait.

OK, then, POD. Meet Becky. Enjoy.

Hiya, I am Becky and I'm from Carshalton.

I'm a glamour model and I'm going to be the next Jordan.

I love the fake look.

I have got fake tan, fake hair, fake boobs.

Everything that you see on me is pretty much fake.

Pete, my boyfriend, he would just much rather me be completely natural.

I am more attracted to the natural Becky.

I am just like, "Whatever, Pete. Get over it."

-This is not the real Becky.

-I tell him that he is an idiot,

-and that he should shut up.

-You are gorgeous.

You do not need to look like you've been Tango-ed.

Shut up.

I've got a pole in the middle of my bedroom.

I told my parents that I got it for fitness reasons,

which isn't actually true.

When I pole dance, I feel like every guy will just love me right now.

SHE GIGGLES

When I go out, I'm like, "Party! Everyone, all attention on me! Guys, look at me!" It's mental.

The attention I get just makes me feel even more sexier.

I am hoping POD is going to install into Becky's head that she is gorgeous natural.

She doesn't need to put all the fake on, cos I love her.

-Hello, Becky.

-Hiya.

-How are you today?

-I am good. How are you?

-I am good, thank you.

-Now, how big are your boobs?

-34F.

-34? Flipping ma-hoo-sive. Are they real?

-No.

-I wish.

-Talk me through your outfit today.

This is my favourite top in the world, my corset. I just love it, because it makes your boobs massive.

-What sort of reactions do you get off guys when you walk into a club like this?

-They stare.

I think they really like it. They must do, because they always want to get you a drink. I love it.

Would you ever go for a night out wearing trousers?

No. No way!

That's like a crime in, like, fashion world.

Trousers are a crime in the fashion world. You heard it here first. Back to the studio.

-Right, Becky, I'm going to wish you good luck in POD.

-Oh, my God.

-If she takes away everything, I am not going to be happy.

-Good luck.

-Oh, my God.

-I am POD.

-Who are you?

-I am Becky.

-No, you're Booby.

-What do you mean?

-I do not get it.

-POD was just giving you a little nickname.

-Haven't you had one of those before?

-Kind of.

-What do people call you?

-Tits.

-I beg your pardon?!

-Tits.

-Very well, Tits. Why are you covered in tat?

-I am not. That is so rude.

-That's a bit rich coming from you, Tits.

That is so cheeky.

-Perhaps we should just stick to calling you Becky.

-Yeah.

-Becky.

-Yeah?

-What do you want to do in life?

-I would like to be a WAG.

So that's why you look like a woman who spends all her time and husband's money at the tanning salon.

Oh, my God! That's actually what I was going for.

Are you a wife or girlfriend of a footballer?

Well, yeah, I am. I suppose.

-Is he any good?

-He's injured, or sick, or something. I don't know.

So, no WAG-y wardrobe for you, then?

That's why Pete needs to get back to football quickly.

What does Pete think of your look?

-He loves it.

-Really? That's not what I heard.

-Play.

-When she's got all this tan stuff on, her make-up, all round the body, it's like...

It goes on to me, it's all sticky, it's all...

And it's not the real Becky.

That is such an exaggeration. I can't believe he said that.

-When was the last time you were a natural beauty, Becky?

-Like never.

Really? Then who is this?

Oh! Oh, my God! That is so embarrassing.

Just look at it. Oh, my God!

I have got nothing on my face.

What's wrong with having nothing on your face?

Because... Oh, my God! You have not seen this off. It is that bad.

Oh, really, Becky! How bad can it be?

Awful. Like a rat, or something.

-You are clearly plagued with self-doubt.

-What?!

Never mind. Why have you come to POD for a make-under?

My boyfriend sent me.

-Please explain.

-I don't know, really.

He just thinks that it might be nice to see me naturally, or something.

Well, wouldn't it be nice to show Pete the naturally beautiful you?

Yeah, probably. He's a bit of an idiot, but he's lovely.

Well, we best get to work, then.

Run phase one. Public analysis.

I asked the public, would you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?

Snog or marry.

-Please pick one.

-Snog.

-Play.

-I'd avoid her. She does not look clean.

I think I would definitely avoid her. She looks a bit trampy.

I'd avoid her. She looks like trouble.

Oh, my God. That's not true.

I also asked Jeremy Edwards.

-Who's he?

-He is an actor of Holby City and Hollyoaks fame.

Oh, he's quite hot.

Yes, I must confess POD has a bit of a soft spot, too. Play.

I would avoid this gal. I mean, it's just too much of everything.

Too much going on. Really, really needs to tone it down. A lot.

Oh, he's just jealous.

I hardly think Jeremy wants massive boobs, Becky.

And 90% of the people we asked agreed with him, and wanted to avoid you.

-I do not believe that.

-Well, it's true.

-I just think they're all stupid.

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-Yeah.

Becky, you are a boyfriend-bothering, busty brunette whose style has gone well and truly tits up.

You need my WAG wannabe to natural somebody made-under.

That's such a cool name. I love it.

I am glad you approve. Now choose a new hair colour.

Dark chestnut, copper, ebony, honey-blonde.

-Honey-blonde.

-Choose a celebrity style.

Sienna Miller, Leona Lewis, Kimberley Walsh, Leighton Meester?

Kimberley Walsh.

It's now time to scrub you clean and remove all of that disgusting slap.

Run deep cleanse.

Oh, no, that is so mean.

Please put on your de-cleanse uniform.

Oh, my God. So embarrassing!

-Just get on with it.

-I look like a right idiot.

Now, get wiping.

Oh, no! This is awful.

-Everyone's going to see me with no make-up on.

-Keep going, Becky.

-I hate you right now.

-Tough...Tits. Just show me that wipe.

-Look at it all!

-Are you ready to see the new you?

-Yes, POD. Go for it.

-I will. Run the make-under.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I look really different.

-What do you think?

-That is... Oh, my god.

-I do not know what to say.

-You seem a little bit shocked there, Becky.

Yeah, just a little bit.

-Do you like it?

-I do actually really like it.

-I haven't got my boobs showing.

-Yes, and don't you look classy?

-Classy, like the Queen or something.

-The natural beauty queen.

-Thank you.

-What do you think Pete will think?

-I don't think Pete will recognise me.

POD thinks he will recognise his naturally beautiful girlfriend.

-Thank you, POD.

-Shall we see what the public think of the new you?

-Yes.

-Play.

I'd snog. She looks really nice.

She looks really pretty, like she takes care of herself well.

I'd snog that girl. I think she looks quite sweet.

I like her make-up. It is a quite good, natural look.

She's not trying too hard.

I'd snog her, because she is a pretty girl.

-Looks like somebody you'd go after in a club.

-That's cute.

70% now want to snog you.

Everyone else wanted to marry you.

-That's sweet.

-Here is your Natural Beauty Data.

A two-tone neckline is a flattering way to enhance your bust without revealing too much flesh.

Multi-toned honey-blonde hair shows that blonde does not have to be brassy

-and is more flattering to your skin tone.

-I like the hair colour. It's better than black.

-So, will you be keeping your new look?

-Maybe.

-Are you looking forward to showing it to Pete?

-He's going to love it.

Then off you go and show your boyfriend your fabulous new look.

-Ah, thank you, POD.

-Goodbye.

-Bye, POD.

Oh, my God! Wow!

-You look gorgeous.

-Thanks, babe.

You are amazing.

She looks absolutely gorgeous.

Beautiful. The hair as well. Fresh.

A real smasher.

I hope she keeps it. Stunning, babe. You actually look stunning.

Pete was quite rightly over the moon with his naturally gorgeous Becky.

But will she keep it up? We'll find out later.

Now, the streets of the UK are not paved in gold. No, no, no.

They're paved in glitter.

Fake tan, then to top it off, they coat it in a load of slap.

Fake tan wipes on your face, before you go out. It keeps your foundation on.

If you've made all the effort to look glamorous when you go out,

you've got to take pictures so you remember it.

Bit of lip gloss every ten minutes.

Natural hair. Do not get extensions.

They are hard work. They make you want to chop your hair off.

Fake eyelashes and lip gloss.

As long as you've got that, you don't need anything.

Next up is the lovely Leigh Ann, all the way from Magaluf, but will she get a warm reception from POD?

What do you think? ..What do you think?

I'm Leigh Ann Hodgson, originally from Bradford.

I live with my boyfriend in sunny Magaluf.

I work as a bar manager in a bar on the Strip.

24-7 party and sunshine - it's fantastic.

The main part of my look, I would say is my tattoo.

To show it off, everything's got to be out. The skimpier, the better.

We are off to get the new piercings.

Diamonds in my tattoos.

Ow! Ow. Ah!

Ow! I didn't think it would hurt that much.

Guys, finally done. Love it.

When I get ready for work, it's more or less the same as what I would be doing if I was going on a night out.

As glam as possible.

I think the faker, the better. The faker I am, the sexier I feel.

She can look over the top.

Without the make-up, the lashes and hair, she looks just naturally pretty.

I am proud. I love my look.

I wouldn't change it.

I am in work from nine till four. I love my job. I can flirt, dance.

Basically, party like I would do on a night out.

I like to work hard, but I like to party harder.

I love the male attention. I can't lie, I am a big flirt.

Just been voted best...

Even though I have a boyfriend, I am faithful, but I love the attention.

Had a fantastic night. Really drunk. Time for a sleep now.

We're off home.

-Hello, lovely Leigh Ann.

-Hello.

-Here in Magaluf. You work out here.

-I do, yeah.

-How long have you been here for?

-This is my fourth season now.

-And do you love it it?

-Absolutely love it.

What sort of reactions do you get off people

when they come in the bar and you're in your shorts, your tattoo, your good figure?

Obviously, the men love it. The men like it, and that's my aim.

How do you feel about meeting POD?

Excited. I am looking forward to it but I am a bit nervous.

Right, lovely Leigh Ann, I'm going to wish you good luck in POD. I know you're going to be fine.

Good luck.

I am POD. Who are you?

-I'm Leigh Ann.

-Were you still drunk when you got dressed today?

I'm pretty drunk most of the time.

That explains why you have a scrap of material holding up your breasts.

-This is my scarf.

-Yes, your scarf, not your bra.

-So what is it doing there?

-Because it looks good.

-Do not be ridiculous.

It looks like you grabbed your granny's hanky and tied it to your boobs.

-Does everyone in Magaluf have their bits hanging out?

-There's no-one there with less clothes than me.

-And you are proud of that, are you?

-Yes.

-Interesting. Are you proud of this?

-God. That's horrible.

-How about this?

-That's quite natural for me.

-Are you making a little joke?

-No.

-You think a face full of make-up and skin the colour of a clementine is natural?

Yes.

Oh, dear. Leigh Ann, why is there a giant weed creeping up your back?

-It's flowers.

-Fake flowers.

-Pretty flowers.

-Pretty FAKE flowers.

-Nope.

-Have you got any other fake bits on your body?

-Maybe.

-What now?

-My boobs.

-Oh, Leigh Ann.

-Sorry.

-And so you should be.

Why have you come to POD for a make-under?

Because I want to settle down some time, get a proper job.

-What do you do now?

-I work in a bar.

-And in the future?

-I want to join the police.

You'd have to arrest yourself for indecent exposure.

-But POD would like to help you take the next step towards your crime-fighting future.

-Thank you.

Run phase one, public analysis.

I asked the public, would you snog, marry or avoid this girl?

I'd say snog.

-Play.

-There's no way I'd ever do anything with a woman like that

because she just looks...hideous.

Leigh Ann I would avoid, because she looks like an Oompa Loompa.

Avoid, definitely.

Well, maybe I wouldn't like them either.

I also asked Dr Karl Kennedy from Neighbours.

-Would you like to know what he said?

-Go on, then.

-Play.

Oh, honey, in that outfit,

you look like flotsam that has washed up on a Spanish beach.

No, I'd have to avoid you.

It's a good job I don't fancy him, then.

45% did want to snog you,

-but the other 55% wanted to avoid you completely.

-That's really bad.

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-Yes, I'm ready.

Leigh Ann, you're a tattoo-toting booby barmaid who could never be a police woman looking like you do,

and you need my Sergeant Slap To Chief Inspector Gorgeous make-under.

-Fab, I'm in.

-Good, then run the make-under.

Do you like your new holiday look?

I love the dress, I think it's dead cute.

-POD thinks you look stunning.

-Thank you. I've got no make-up on.

-Yes, and don't you look lovely for it?

-This doesn't look like me.

-It looks like the naturally beautiful you you've been hiding.

-Maybe.

-Definitely. Would you like to know what the public think of the new you?

-Yes, please.

-Play.

Snog her because she looks quite natural and quite pretty.

I'd snog her because she's a nice-looking girl.

I'd snog her - she looks very natural,

and a nice sort of girl that you'd take home to meet your mum.

That's good, I like that.

70% now want to snog you, and everyone else wanted to marry you.

How do you feel as a natural beauty?

-Happy.

-POD is happy you are happy.

Here is your Natural Beauty Data.

A tousled bob is a low-maintenance holiday style and a lovely, relaxed look for the beach.

This pretty sundress with a sweetheart neckline is a great alternative to skimpy holiday clothes

and still shows off your pretty decolletage.

My boobs are still there.

Yes, there's no getting rid of those,

-but they look better in a dress and not something you blow your nose on.

-Yes.

So, has POD help you on your way to getting a proper job?

POD has definitely helped me to take my first steps into my new life.

As a naturally gorgeous police officer?

Ohhh!

-Yes.

-POD computes you look criminally hot.

-I hope so.

-Natural beauty has been restored.

-Goodbye.

-Thanks, POD.

-Hi, babe. You look well fit.

-Like it?

Yeah, it's nice. I like your dress. I like you with no eye make-up. A lot better.

-Are you sure?

-You look cute.

-Thank you.

I think she looks fantastic, she looks proper fit. A lot better than she did.

Who knew swapping a scarf for a sundress could make such a big difference? Loving your work, POD.

The great thing about the beauty business is there's loads of new top tips to try.

I'm always happy - ish! - to try them out for you.

You're going on holiday and you want your feet to look flip-flop-tastic.

You need to have a pedicure, so you can either go to a pricey salon,

buy some expensive creams, or do what I do and go to the beach.

Let me show you how.

It looks a bit silly, but bear with me,

because roughing your feet in the sand acts as a natural exfoliator. Clever, eh?

After that quite frankly embarrassing display, let's see if my feet are any softer.

And, by the by, this water is sea water, not mineral water.

Well, I can confirm my feet are very soft.

A little bit red and scratchy, but very, very soft.

The best things in life really are free.

So POD turned Becky from a busty brunette WAG-wannabe to a gorgeous natural beauty.

But did she keep it up or has she gone back to her WAG ways? Let's meet her and find out.

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-You look lovely!

-Thank you.

-Your hair's a lot lighter.

-Yes.

-And you've got a lot less make-up on.

-And less fake tan.

What positives have happened since the make-under?

My boyfriend's a lot happier with the way I look, he doesn't moan now constantly.

And that makes me happy, because I love Pete and everything.

-So...

-Do you still justify the nickname Tits?

Um...

No-one really cause me Tits any more. They do on nights out, but during the day,

I'm a lot more covered up now, so Pete is really happy with that.

-Do you think you'll go back to your old ways?

-Probably not as obsessive.

I look at photos and I'm like, "Oh, my God."

Overall, I think this has been a massive success.

You look a million times better, you look gorgeous.

So, I think a big thumbs-up to POD.

Have you got a message for her?

Thank you, POD. You did a great job.

Next up is the hair-tastic Hollie Cooper.

I can't wait to see the look on POD's lens when she meets this one.

Hi, I'm Hollie Cooper, I live in London.

I try to look as fake as possible.

I don't like looking like a real person.

This is my cheerleader outfit. I've worn this to work before.

I scared a lot of people that day. I thought I looked good.

I bought this dress and it didn't fit, so I just cut the front out.

But I think it works.

My goat necklace. I like goats.

These are my small birds. I'm going to wear them in my hair.

One of my main hobbies is making terrifying dolls. This is baby Simon.

EVIL LAUGHTER

You can unzip his guts.

Oh, there's a tissue in him.

I use lots of eye make-up.

This is my war paint.

Lots of fake hair. This is my hair.

Obviously, this is not real.

My hair is very, very heavy.

If I wear it for too long, it actually makes my scalp bleed.

People do react to my look by just telling me I'm a freak.

I do get a lot of attention when I'm walking down the street.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

She dresses to shock people.

She likes people to have a reaction to the way she looks.

I love everything about my look.

What's not to like?

I'd like to see what she'd look like without the masses of hair and make-up.

This is how I look. I like how I look and I'm going to stay this way.

-I'm POD, who are you?

-I'm Hollie.

Are you the missing member of the Addams Family?

-I wish.

-And who would you be, Cousin Crazy Hair?

-That'd be quite cute.

-What have you got festering in that monster do?

I have my baby here, attached to my head.

Does your baby have a name?

-Hand-Dryer Steve.

-And what happened to the rest of Hand-Dryer Steve?

-I cut off the bits I don't like.

-Of course you did.

You appear to have some birds nesting in your hair, too.

-Not live ones, only plastic ones.

-Hollie?

-Yes?

Are you a bit cuckoo?

-Ooh, yeah!

-What do you think of natural beauty?

I don't do natural.

-Why not?

-Because that's just weird.

Yes, that's much stranger than having half a baby and a flock of birds stuck to your head.

And don't get me started about the mangy cat wrapped around your neck.

It needs somewhere to sit, and it's just chosen here.

Hmm. How long has it been since you saw your natural beauty?

About ten years.

Let POD remind you of how lovely you look.

Even the dog looks happy.

-Happy to have such a naturally pretty owner.

-He's dead now.

Oh. Why have you come to POD for a make-under?

I thought it'd be fun, and it'll be a nice surprise for my husband.

-You have a husband?

-He's very lovely.

-What does he think of your look?

-He likes it.

But will he like the natural you?

I'd like to think he won't divorce me cos I take my hair out. If he does, I'm blaming you.

Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take. Run phase one.

Hurray!

-I asked, would you snog, marry or avoid this girl?

-Avoid.

-Play.

-I'd definitely avoid this girl because she dresses horribly.

-She's not my type.

-Avoid anyone like that.

Oh, excellent.

-Avoid.

-Sadly, avoid.

There's a bit of potential, but not quite my type.

So, basically, it's like, "Oh, she's great if you change everything."

I also asked Big Brother winner Brian Belo.

Would you like to know what he said?

-Ooh, yes!

-Play.

She just looks pony.

Seriously, there's no amount of pony that I can see on a pony.

She just looks pony.

Did that even make sense?!

-Not really, Hollie, no.

-He needs to work on that.

100% of the people we asked wanted to avoid you.

People are just stupid.

-Perhaps people just think you look a bit scary.

-No, I'm wonderful.

I'm friendly and nice.

POD agrees you're friendly and nice, but your look is a little bit odd.

-POD is wrong.

-POD is right.

-You always think you're right.

-I do.

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-Ohhh!

Hollie, you're creepy and you're kooky,

mysterious and spooky, but you will be a beauty of the natural variety.

OK.

-Before I can process your make-under, I need you to remove your big bird's nest.

-If I can get them out.

-Say goodbye to Hand-Dryer Steve.

-He doesn't want to leave me.

-Tough.

Do you want all of it?

Every last skanky scrap.

-Damn you, POD.

-When was the last time you saw your real hair?

My real hair very rarely sees the light of day. There it is.

-Now, give me those enormous earrings.

-Do you really want them?

Yes. Oh, my POD.

You have giant holes in your ears. Hollie, that's most unpleasant.

I know. I do it to freak people out.

Mission accomplished.

-Are you ready to meet the new you?

-No.

-Tough! Run the make-under.

-Oh, freaky.

-Well, what do you think?

I look like I'm in Star Trek. Oh, my God.

Welcome to the next generation of natural beauty. Do you like it?

-I think it looks cute.

-POD agrees, you do look cute and still a bit quirky.

-I can't stop staring at my hair.

-Do you like your hair?

-I do, yes.

-At least it doesn't have a dismembered doll stuck in it.

-Yes.

-Would you like to know what the public think of the new, natural you?

-Go for it.

-Play.

Would I snog? Definitely, she's looking hot.

I'd definitely snog her.

She looks a really nice, bubbly, attractive girl, and definitely worth a snog.

I'd snog her, then marry her and then I'd snog her again. She looks stunning.

-Excellent.

-Now 90% of the public want to snog you, and everyone else wants to marry you.

It's only because I don't look, like...scary any more.

-No, you look lovely.

-Thank you, POD.

Here is your Natural Beauty Data.

Muted colours can still make a statement, with strong shapes and sharp tailoring.

Rather than creating height and volume with layers of heavy extensions, babies and birds,

keep it subtle by just back-combing the crown.

There's nothing attached to my head. This is a whole new world for me.

-What do you think of natural beauty now?

-Natural beauty's OK.

-Any chance you'll keep your new look?

-I might tone it down a bit.

Maybe I'll leave the extensions out for a while. This can be my sensible day-to-day look.

So, has POD succeeded in this make-under?

I'd say POD has succeeded slightly, but has not changed my mind completely.

-That's good enough for me.

-Yay.

-Goodbye, Hollie. Live long and prosper.

-Bye.

-Well done, POD. Three stunning successes.

-Thank you, the Frost.

I was rather pleased with them myself.

I can't believe you got Hollie to part with her hair. Becky and Leigh Ann loved their new looks, too.

Well, I can be pretty persuasive when I want to be, Frost.

-It must be exhausting being so good, POD.

-Indeed, it is.

In that case, you'd better get some rest, hadn't you?

-Yes, good night, the Frost.

-Night-night, POD. POD off.

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