Episode 7 Snog Marry Avoid?

-# I should be the face of every fashion magazine. #

-Love it!

# I'm gonna feel that feeling, gonna lose control tonight. #

Here on Snog, Marry, Avoid we have declared war on fakery.

We will fight it in the trenches of tan on the slap-ridden streets.

We will not rest until the enemy has been defeated and that means you.

Wearers of glitter, followers of fake tan and soldiers of slap,

we ask not what you can do for natural beauty,

but what natural beauty can do for you.

Hello, POD, you're looking lovely and shiny today.

Good of you to say so, Jenny Frost.

-You, my dear, are looking as lovely as ever.

-Why, thank you.

-How are you feeling today? Are you ready to face the fakes?

-Yes, I am.

In fact I can't Podding wait

to convert some more slap addicts to the natural beauty cause.

I have a feeling today's visitors might not be too keen to come to the natural side.

-I have ways of making them switch, you know, Frost.

-I know you do.

But I think you'll come up against some resistance with this lot.

Coming up on tonight's show, POD meets a loud lady from Leeds who loves to party.

I like to look expensive, fashionable and well groomed.

Tries to catch a mouse.

I've always been fascinated with medical stuff.

And gets a lesson in Japanese style.

Big hair, tan skin, big eyes and big nails.

Tonight two girls and a terrifying mouse feel the wrath of POD.

So come on then, Frost, which one wants to get their natural beauty treatment first?

That would be Harriet,

but I'm not so sure she WANTS to get the natural beauty treatment.

Tough.

I'm Harriet Wells, I'm 20 and I'm a Leeds girl,

and I am glamour obsessed.

# Bang bang, we're beautiful and dirty rich. #

You know, some people have hobbies, but my hobby is... me.

If I like it, want it and I can afford it I'm going to have it.

I just want to look my best all the time and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

What does my boyfriend think of my look? He'd better like it!

The fake tan is a nightmare.

Love it.

My bed sheets are constantly covered in fake tan.

It's the same colour as the door!

It gets everywhere, it's all over the floor.

it's just a complete nightmare.

SHE LAUGHS

Never have straight hair. Big hair is the answer.

Cheryl Cole eat your heart out.

I like to look expensive, fashionable and well groomed.

All about the legs, baby!

I like to think I'm quite classy.

She's going to kill me, but it matches my lipstick and my nails.

Harriet on a night out? I'd imagine she's very wild.

Very loud.

Very drunk.

It's chaotic.

Yeah, when we go out, make-up's always flawless, hair's massive.

I think she looks just as good without make-up on

and without her hair done.

See you in the POD! Mwah!

-Hi, Harriet.

-Hi, Jenny.

-How are you today?

-All right.

-You look fabulous and glamorous.

-Thanks very much.

-Is this what you'd wear when you go out clubbing?

-It is, yeah.

Major massive shoes, cos everybody loves massive shoes.

Gold leggings, lovely belt to keep them up, and fur coat to keep warm.

-These legs are tremendous.

-Thank you very much, Jenny.

-So are yours.

-Thank you. Let's have a leg off!

-Let's have a leg off!

-No, you'll well win.

So, you're going into POD soon.

-what's the one thing that you can't live without?

-Foundation.

It just makes you look flawless, doesn't it, foundation?

I'm looking at your skin now and it IS flawless.

Because of all the foundation and all the bronzer and everything.

Now, the time is drawing ever nearer.

How are you feeling about going into POD?

I'm quite nervous, but excited at the same time.

I'm curious to see what will happen.

Right, gorgeous clubbing Harriet,

I'm going to wish you good luck in POD now.

I'll see you on the other side.

Hi!

-I am POD.

-Hi, POD.

Who are you?

-I'm Harriet.

-Harriet?

-Yes, POD.

Does Alice Cooper know you stole his hair?

How can you say that? I look totally fabulous.

You look like a hairy old rocker.

That's really harsh, POD.

It's not my fault you're having a bad hair year.

You're awful! I really don't like you!

Well, I really don't like your hairy head, caked-on make-up, and don't get me started on the awful outfit!

That's fine, I'm not bothered what you think.

Oh, so you won't care that POD thinks you are a very pretty girl?

Oh, thank you very much.

So why have you slathered yourself in slap, and attached that matted mane to your head?

Didn't really hear you. Sorry, I wasn't really concentrating.

Yes, it must be hard to hear through the layers and layers of fakery.

It's because you're chatting rubbish.

At least I'm not wearing rubbish!

Why? How can you say that?

It's quite easy, considering you look like you raided Rod Stewart's wardrobe from 1974.

No, I don't! Oh, my god, that's such a bitchy thing to say!

-If the sprayed-on trousers fit...

-They're not sprayed on. They're leggings actually, POD.

They're tacky actually, Harriet.

Ooh, you're so bitchy, I just want to punch you!

Careful, Harriet.

POD has the power.

And you are a bit boring?

-You're a bit pathetic really, aren't you?

-Right, that's it!

Oh no!

A hair extension fell out!

You were warned. POD has the power.

Oh, my god, can this day get any worse?

Oh, believe me, it can get a lot worse than this.

That's not very nice, POD.

-You be nice to POD, and POD will be nice to you. Deal?

-Yes.

Why have you come to POD for a make under?

I am curious.

And I don't want to take as long to get ready.

That is the only thing you want to change?

-Yeah, what's wrong with that?

-Nothing.

But perhaps you'll change your mind after this. Run phase one, public analysis.

Woo-hoo! Yes!

I asked the public, "Would you snog, marry or avoid this girl?"

-Snog.

-Play.

I'd definitely avoid her cos she looks really trashy.

I would avoid her cos she looks a bit freaky.

I'd avoid that girl cos she just looks very vain and up herself really.

Ah!

Oh, my god! OK.

I also asked Raef from The Apprentice.

-Would you like to know what he said?

-Yes.

-Play.

Unfortunately, this lady leaves nothing to the imagination

and, you know, I like to be tantalised by what I can't see, as opposed to what I can see.

And here, quite frankly, I can see a hell of a lot.

I'd avoid her.

Oh.

Did he win The Apprentice?

-No.

-Oh, well, there you go.

30% did want to snog you,

but a massive 70% wanted to avoid you completely.

-Oh, that's absolute crap!

-It's not.

Ready for the next question?

-No!

-Tough.

I asked, at school did she get straight As,

straight to the bottom set,

straight to the back of the bike sheds?

-Bottom set.

-Play.

Straight to the back of the bike sheds.

She's overly done and tarted up.

Straight round the back of the bike sheds. She looks easy.

She was straight round the back of the bike sheds.

She looks trashy as hell.

-Oh, my god, what a

-BLEEP!

Kindly watch your language, young lady!

Do I look like a slag?

Oh, my god! I don't want to look like a slag.

80% of the people we asked,

thought you went straight round the back of the bike sheds.

Who are these people that you're asking? They're clueless!

Perhaps it is you who is clueless about the image your trashy sense of style is projecting.

Oh, my god! I can't believe 70% said they'd avoid me.

That's really upset me.

Perhaps a make under would make you feel better.

It might do.

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-Ready!

Harriet, you are a hairy-headed slap-infested lairy lady

and you will undergo my fake and loud to natural and proud make under.

You're just a silly computer. I'm going to turn you off.

-Does someone need a reminder of the power of POD?

-No.

Good. Then choose a new hairstyle.

Short and sleek, funky up do, choppy bob with fringe, soft and wavy.

Soft and wavy.

Oh, up do!

Choose a celebrity style.

Rihanna, Alexa Chung, Sienna Miller, Blake Lively.

Sienna Miller.

It is now time to de-cake your face. Run phase two, deep cleanse.

OK!

Please put on your deep cleanse uniform.

You need to get back in your basket.

POD does not have a basket.

Please put on the head garment.

-I feel like a right pillock.

-Just get wiping.

I'm going to be a right old mess now, look at me.

I'm looking at a massive beard of slap. Show me those pads.

Astonishing! Now get going on that revolting beard of make-up.

I'm trying.

Yes, you certainly are, but you do have very beautiful skin.

-Thank you.

-Are you excited to meet the new you?

Super excited(!)

Well, even if you're not, I am.

Run the make under.

Ah! Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god! Oh, the dress is nice.

-What do you think?

-What do you think, POD?

-POD thinks you look stunning.

-Well, thank you very much.

-Do you like it?

-Not really.

-Why not?

I just feel a bit plain, really.

POD computes there is nothing plain about your stunning natural beauty.

That's very nice of you, POD.

-Shall we see what the public think of your lovely new look?

-Go for it.

-Play.

I would definitely snog her.

I think she looks natural and I think she looks honest, really.

-OK.

-She looks pretty smart, she looks natural, she looks pretty good.

I'd snog her. I think she looks classy.

I wouldn't want to snog me

looking like this.

Well, 70% now want to marry you, and everyone else wanted to snog you.

-The public don't know anything.

-Here is your natural beauty data.

-OK.

-This backless dress is a sophisticated way to show flesh, without baring all your bits.

Hair does not have to be massive to make a statement.

Add subtle curls at the back for a pretty twist to a classic look.

-Pretty boring.

-Can you really not see that this is a lovely look?

Oh, I think it's a lovely look, but it's not me, it's not my look.

No, your look is tacky and trashy.

I love my look, I love the way I look normally, I think I look great.

So I take it you will not be keeping your new natural look?

No.

SHE LAUGHS

-It sucks!

-Then we have nothing more to talk about.

I don't want to leave, I like talking to you.

POD is glad you enjoyed talking to me, but is sad you can't see how naturally fabulous you look.

-Thank you.

-Goodbye, Harriet.

Bye.

-Oh, my god!

-How are you?

-Fine.

-How are you?

-Look what they've done to you.

-You look so different.

-I know.

-I don't know what to think actually.

-I knew it! I knew you wouldn't!

-Your eyes look nice.

-Oh, thanks, but well, they haven't changed.

You look very pretty.

Just look "natural", as POD would say.

You do look natural. You look different and that's the point of it.

It's like a change, isn't it? Something else that you can have in your repertoire.

It's not in her to be dressed down and casual

and if it means that I have to wait around for two hours for her to get ready

and put up with fake tan all over the bed, then so be it.

-I still think you look good though.

-You're such a creep.

-I love you.

-I love you.

Wow, Harriet looked gorgeous! What a shame POD couldn't convince her to become a natural beauty convert.

If you've ever fancied picking up some beauty hints and tips, don't bother buying a magazine,

just pop down to town on a Saturday night.

Vaseline on the eyelashes.

I've never heard that one. Oh, that's a new one for me.

The easiest thing is skin-coloured tights,

so you don't need to shave your legs.

It looks like skin, it's tights. Ace! Sexy!

Could not live without my extensions.

And lip gloss, I love lip gloss. Lip gloss is a must.

When you put your lip gloss on, make sure you put some highlighter just there,

on your Cupid's bow.

Big hair is sexy.

Just make sure you backcomb it, and use millions of hair spray.

It's all about eye liner.

Take the very smallest bit in the corners and make it really thick at the ends.

Very catty, you know.

-Very '60s.

-Sorry.

Hello, Robin.

Next into POD was the lovely Lhouraii, an English girl with a Japanese twist.

I'm Lhouraii Li, I'm 20 years old.

My look is based on a Japanese fashion style called Gyaru.

Basically...

I'm THE Gyaru of Dewsbury and I absolutely love it.

# I think I'm turning Japanese

# I really think so... #

The whole aim of the make-up is to make your eyes look bigger and your nose look smaller.

I make my own nails. Anything that can go on them will go on them.

If I could get my TV on it, I'd stick my TV on it basically.

She dresses and acts like she's from another planet.

She looks scary, like every time I look at her I get a proper shock.

Near enough all of my money goes on how I look, so I work here to get some money.

Lhouraii's look is certainly unique.

I don't know how to describe it because it's not nothing that I've ever seen before.

Creativity is my life and that's why I like to reflect it in the way I look.

Lhouraii's look definitely stands out and is a little crazy.

I believe the make under would help Lhouraii,

just to realise she could look good without all the make-up.

-Hello, Lhouraii.

-Hello.

Or should I call you lovely Lhouraii?

Yeah, you can if you want.

First things first, let's look at these nails. They are rather mental.

I think if you just get loads of buttons and beads and stuff

and just shove it all on it's just really interesting.

-Do they get in the way of general life?

-Yes.

-Talk me through this outfit.

-It's all about being over the top.

The big eyelashes, the big eyes.

And princessy things.

It's nearly time to go into POD. How are you feeling?

Excited, but anxious too

because I've never taken my make-up off in front of anyone before really.

Lovely Lhouraii, I'll wish you good luck in POD now.

I'll see you on the other side, so I'll say sayonara.

I am POD.

-Hi.

-Who are you?

-I'm Lhouraii.

-Did Alice get lost in Wonderland?

-Oh, I wish!

-Did the Sugar Plum Fairy overdose on candyfloss?

Lots and lots and lots and lots.

Why have you covered your face in all that fairy dust?

My make-up is really complicated actually.

Oh, really, how complicated can it be? For instance, what have you got on your nose?

-On my nose? It's nose make-up.

-Hmm.

-That sounds very complicated.

-It's just...

Excuse me, Lhouraii, what have you got stuck to your nails?

Buttons, things from rings, stuff.

-Why?

-They're pretty.

-Pretty stupid.

-No.

Yes! Why have you come to POD for a make under?

To see that I can realise that I can look good without make-up,

if I can, I don't know, I hope so.

When was the last time you were not covered in lots and lots of make-up?

I can't remember not wearing it.

One day I went out without make-up

and it was a bad day, so I've not gone out without make-up since.

You mean to tell POD that you never go without make-up?!

I can't even walk the dogs without putting all this on. Can't...open the door.

If I go outside without make-up on, I put sunglasses on.

It sounds like you are being held captive by your fakery.

I am, very much. Trapped.

Then POD would like to help set you free.

Oh, thank you!

Run phase one, public analysis.

I asked would you want to snog, marry or avoid her.

I think it would definitely be avoid.

-Play.

-I'd avoid her, she looks like a bit too crazy, like she's fake.

She looks like a Smurf.

Would avoid, purely because she's got too much make-up on.

And that's pretty scary.

I'm not scary, look at me. Rar!

I also asked the rapper, Chipmunk what he thought of your look.

-The Rapping Chipmunk?

-No, not the Rapping Chipmunk.

Yo, yo, yo!

The rapper, Chipmunk.

-Play.

-Girl, I would totally avoid.

Her eyelashes look the same length as my finger.

The foundation's way too thick.

She probably looks even worse in the morning.

And just for the record,

this is what the Rapping Chipmunk thought of your look. Play.

Man, that girl looks nuts.

She looks kooky, she looks funny. Her eyes look silly, and her skin looks muddy.

Animals love me. I'm insulted by that animal thing.

Well, 76% of the people we asked agreed with both the Rapping Chipmunk

and the rapper, Chipmunk and wanted to avoid you.

That is a lot of avoiding.

Yes, it is. Are you ready for my verdict?

Lhouraii, you are a natural beauty trapped in the body of a fake fairy

and you need my open the door and free your natural self make under.

-Thank you.

-Now, choose a new hair style.

Soft and wavy, choppy bob with fringe, pixie crop, funky up do.

Funky up do.

Choose a celebrity style.

Leighton Meester, Kelly Brook, Scarlett Johansson, Sienna Miller.

Scarlett Johansson.

-Thank you, Lhouraii.

-Thank you. You have very nice buttons.

Kind of you to say so.

-Are you ready to take the first step to natural beauty?

-Yes. Or no.

Yeah, go on. No. Yeah.

Oh, stop dilly dallying around, Lhouraii.

-Run phase two, deep cleanse. Please put on your deep cleanse uniform.

-OK.

-Now try to relax as much as you can.

-Om!

Well, done. Now remove your lashes.

OK.

-How are you feeling about removing your make-up?

-Sick.

You can do it, Lhouraii, just take out the pad and start wiping.

OK.

How much make-up is on that pad?!

-Not much.

-If you've been down a mine.

Can't believe I'm stood here with no make-up on.

You have done very well to get this far, Lhouraii.

I feel very proud of myself actually.

-POD is very proud of you too.

-Thank you.

Are you ready to meet the new you?

No. Yes.

Run the make under.

Do you like it?

Are you OK?

I'm just shocked, I'm just, it's just...

-Good shocked?

-Good shocked.

Take a good look at the naturally gorgeous you.

Oh, my god.

POD thinks you look beautiful.

Thank you.

-Oh, my god.

-How does it feel to see yourself as a natural beauty?

Amazing.

That's because you look amazing.

Thank you, POD.

-Would you like to know what the public think of you with no make-up on?

-Yeah.

-Play.

Based on how sophisticated she looks,

I'd say she's marriage material.

I think I'd go for snog. She looks really pretty.

Definitely marry, definitely marriage material.

She looks very natural, very beautiful.

60% now want to snog you and everyone else wanted to marry you.

-Yay!

-Here is your natural beauty data.

This slash-shouldered lace dress is an alternative take on a classic style.

Natural doesn't have to be plain.

By putting mascara only on your top lashes,

this lifts your whole face and opens up your pretty eyes.

I've never seen my eyes like that before.

I've...I've never seen them so nice.

-So, do you think you could open the door without your make-up on now?

-Yeah, I'm going to do it.

If someone knocks on the door, I'm going to just open it.

POD is very proud of you, Lhouraii.

Thank you.

I do think that this make under will give me a lot more confidence.

What will your boyfriend think?

Do you know what, he'd better do the same as what I did.

He'd better break down crying.

POD computes your natural beauty would move anyone to tears.

Ah, shut up!

Thank you.

So, will you be keeping your new look?

I might give it a shot, for you.

Thank you, Lhouraii. Natural beauty has been restored.

-Goodbye.

-Bye!

Wow, you look so different!

-Do you like it?

-You look really nice.

-I was proper shocked, I cried.

-Really?

The new look looks a lot more natural and she looks beautiful without the make-up.

-Your hair looks really nice, I like the fringe, the way it curls around.

-Do you? I like this bit.

She's managed to take all her make-up off,

go out and still realise she looks good and beautiful without it.

Aw, Lhouraii was clearly overwhelmed and I don't blame her - she looked amazing.

I'll be catching up with her later in the show.

Now I've always been a fan of Blue Peter,

so imagine how happy I was when I got my very own home-made segment of the show.

Hmm, now where's that sticky-backed plastic?

Life's too short to spend ages painting nails perfectly.

I've got a tip for you that'll save you time

and help you if you're not great at painting nails.

Whack it on, don't worry about the edges.

I'm doing this really, really bad to prove a point.

Really messy, doesn't matter.

So there you have it, fast, very messy nails, but don't worry, I've not lost the plot.

All will be revealed.

Now, let's get ready.

So I'm ready to go out, but still have got very, very messy nails.

But I'm going to do the dishes now and that should hopefully soak off all the messy bits.

So I'm doing the dishes and the hot water is soaking off all the messy bits from around my nails.

Right, that's the dishes done.

Wow, that's worked wonderfully.

The hot water soaked off all the messy bits.

There's one or two bits left but they just flick away very easily.

But overall that works great.

Took less than a minute to paint, the dishes are done.

Perfect nails. Amazing!

If you ever wondered what a Disney horror film would look like, wonder no more. Just meet Bonnie.

Grrr!

I am POD.

Hi.

-Am I having a nightmare?

-Yeah.

Please don't hurt me, you bloody terrifying mouse.

-You don't need to be scared, POD.

-Who are you?!

-My name is Bonnie.

Have you been in a terrible accident?

-No, I haven't.

-Then why are you covered in blood and bandages?

-Probably to stop things bleeding.

-Are you actually bleeding, Bonnie?

-No.

-POD does not compute.

Why do you want to look like your face is falling off?

Sometimes my real face gets boring.

Is Minnie taking the Mickey?

I can't explain it, POD. You'll never understand.

Why don't you try?

Sometimes life is horrible. You have to make the horrible things fun.

What sort of fun involves looking like Disney roadkill?

-I would say it was medical fun.

-That doesn't sound like much fun to POD.

I think you're the only one that doesn't get it.

Are you suggesting there are people who do get it?

Actually, my grandmother phoned my mum yesterday just to tell her how beautiful I was.

-Clearly you're not the only one who could do with seeing a doctor.

-Oh, POD!

What is beautiful about looking like a half-dead dormouse?

-There's nothing wrong with looking dead! It's a fun game.

-And what do you call this game?

-Disneyland emergency room.

-Will you let POD play?

-Yes.

Er, Bonnie, what is that?!

I don't really know what this is for,

but probably something disgusting like an enema.

That is not a game that POD wishes to play.

It's OK to be scared, POD.

POD is not scared, Bonnie! POD is horrified!

That's really horrible, POD.

And so is your bloody game. Now, POD off.

Earlier, we met Lhouraii, who looked fabulous with her made under look.

Has she kept it up or has she gone back to her Japanese ways?

Let's meet her and find out. Hello.

-Hiya.

-You have gone back again.

-I have, yeah.

-Are you happy with this though?

Yeah, I'm really, really happy with this

and the make under did affect me in lots of good ways.

In which ways?

Because I can answer the door now

and I can just, if I don't feel like wearing make-up,

I can go out without make-up on and it won't be a big deal.

To you, it was like a phobia, being seen in public with no make-up on

and you did it on national television.

You should be proud of yourself.

Very proud of myself and all my friends and family are really proud of me as well.

You got quite emotional in POD when you saw the reveal and actually had a little cry.

Why do you think you cried?

I've never looked in the mirror without make-up on or with natural make-up and I liked what I saw.

I thought this was the best I could do, like, looks wise or make-up wise,

but I think I looked better in the natural make-up.

But you've still gone back to this look.

I just feel more like myself, it's like my creativity shines through, through my make-up.

You didn't come into POD to get a new look.

You came in for confidence, so it's been a big success.

So have you got a message for POD?

Thank you so much, POD. I can now open my front door.

-Which is a big thing.

-It is a very big thing. Thank you.

Ah, POD, you're that good you made Lhouraii shed a tear.

I am rather brilliant, aren't I?

Well, you certainly drive me to tears sometimes.

With my excellent make under skills?

Mm, something like that, yes.

-But now, POD, it's time for you to get some rest.

-If I must.

You must. Goodnight, POD. POD off.

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