Episode 6 Snog Marry Avoid?

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Are you "tanorexic", addicted to make-up

and obsessed with hair extensions?

If so, it sounds like you need some natural beauty therapy,

and we are happy to help.

But be warned, we're quite strict on this show.

"Slap" is a dirty word, and we're here to clean up your act.

So sit back, relax and enjoy the natural beauty treatment.

-Hello, POD!

-Oh! Jenny Frost, thank POD you're here.

-I had the most terrible dream.

-Oh, poor POD. Are you OK? What happened?

I dreamt that the Earth had been entirely covered in fake tan

and all you could see from space was a great big sticky orange.

Oh, poor POD. But you're all right now, it was just a bad dream.

I promise you the world is its normal shade of natural

with just a few fake tans wandering about.

Well, just you wait till I get my lens on them.

Coming up on tonight's show,

POD gets her lens on a man magnet from London.

I love attention. It's got to be all about me.

..a wannabe WAG...

Louise loves her make-up more than me.

..and a pair of moody teenagers.

We're just weirdos. You can't define us.

So, then, Frost, who have you got for me?

First up is Nicola. POD help her.

All right?

Hi, guys. My name is Nicola.

I'm a London girl.

A glamorous London girl.

I'm a glamour model, and I love my job.

I love being centre of attention.

And I love being the centre of other girls' boyfriends' attention.

It's all about me. I love the fake look.

The one thing that I'd love to have is a boob job.

I'd love bigger boobs.

She's crazy. Make-up, eyeliner,

-lipstick...

-Mwah.

-Erm, hair extensions...

-Tans.

-Tans.

It's, like, "Oh, yay, make-up!"

She goes for big hair, big eyes....

..no clothes.

She couldn't live without her make-up, though, could she?

That's where POD comes in.

I love attention. It's got to be all about me.

Every time I go out, it's about me, me, me.

I want to be the one that stands out when we go out.

I'm feeling really hot tonight. I'm having an great time.

I'm pretty happy.

Her guy's just standing there, just staring.

It's just the power you have when you go out,

and you can make every guy just turn their head. I love it.

It gives me that mmm!

I love everything about me and I don't think you're going

to be able to change me, POD, because it's just how I am.

Good luck, POD!

-Hello, Nicola.

-Hiya.

-How are you today?

-I'm fine, thank you.

So, talk me through this outfit.

OK, well, I'm wearing a little leotard with a pair of tights which

are very see-through and a really big pair of heels to make me taller.

So, what reactions do you get when you dress like this?

I do get a lot of attention from boys.

Sometimes a lot of unwanted attention,

but I love it, so I don't mind!

So, a little birdie tells me you want to get fake boobs.

-Yeah.

-You realise POD will try and talk you out of having fake boobs?

I don't think nobody could talk me out of having a boob job.

Nobody. But I'll give her a good shot.

-She can try.

-Right, Nicola, I'm going to wish you

good luck in POD, and I shall see you on the other side. Good luck!

I am POD.

-Who are you?

-I am Nicola, POD.

Nicola POD? Are we related?

-We're not. We're not related.

-Correct.

No relative of mine goes out wearing just their PE kit.

-You are funny, POD.

-Why ARE you wearing a leotard?

-Do you do gymnastics?

-No! I do glamour modelling.

-So that's why your face is covered in fakery.

-Yeah.

-And you have fake hair.

-Yeah.

-And I suppose your boobs are fake too.

You're so rude, POD! I have natural boobs.

Most glamour models have fake boobs.

How very refreshing to meet a person who likes the natural look.

I don't like it! I want them bigger!

Why do you want to have sacks of silicone stuck to your chest?

Because I like big boobs. They stand out.

They just give you more cleaverage,

-and they're just nice.

-POD can give you a nice cleavage,

if that's what you're after. How big are we talking here, Nicola?

The biggest possible. Ones out here.

Fine. POD is going to show you what

a terrible idea it is to get massive fake boobs. Hold out your hands.

Like that?

-That's not boobies!

-Correct.

It's tissue. How's that for size?

That's rubbish. Bigger!

Very well. Going up two cup sizes.

Socks? I don't want socks as boobs!

It's better than a sack of plastic.

There, look how much better that looks! Look at that!

-Big enough for you, Nicola?

-Maybe a little bit bigger.

-How much bigger?

-Bigger.

OK, let's try these for size.

SHE LAUGHS

They're huge! I don't think they'd fit.

No problem.

Very funny, POD, very funny.

That's like an old lady's bra, POD. Come on!

You want big boobs, you need a big bra.

-Now are they big enough?

-Yeah, that's big enough.

With melons that massive, you look

-like a right nana, Nicola.

-I think I look lovely, POD.

Well, that backfired. But you can kiss goodbye to your juicy fruits.

If you're so determined to have massive melons

attached to your chest, why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

Because I wasn't too sure about getting my boobs done.

If you can make me feel beautiful without fake boobs,

-I won't go back to how I am now.

-Is that a promise, Nicola?

Erm, I guess so.

In that case, I'd best get to work.

Run phase one: Public Analysis.

I asked, "Would you snog, marry or avoid this girl?"

I'd say snog.

-Play.

-I would avoid her, because she looks like an even cheaper version

of Christina Aguilera.

I'd probably avoid her, because she's not wearing enough clothes.

I'd avoid her, for sure.

Oh, my God, that's bad, POD.

I also asked the popular rap artist Chipmunk.

Oh, no!

If he says something rude, I'm never listening

-to his songs ever again.

-Play.

I'd say I'd avoid her,

because she looks like an electrocuted Barbie.

It's all a bit scary.

Oh, my God! Oopsy-daisy, his album's going in the bin!

Oopsy-daisy - 80 per cent of the people we asked agreed

with him and wanted to avoid you.

Shut up, POD!

I most certainly will not.

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-Go on, then, POD, throw it at me.

By all means. Nicola, you are a sock-stuffing, melon-loving

fake lady on the brink of making a bit of a boob,

-so you will undergo POD's Implant Intervention Makeunder.

-POD!

You're rude! I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap and water, I am.

Well, I'm going to give you a whole new look, I am.

Choose a new hairstyle.

Choppy bob, classic waves, funky up do, sleek sweeping chop.

-Classic waves.

-Choose a celebrity style.

Blake Lively, Sienna Miller, Leona Lewis, Vanessa Hudgens.

Leona Lewis. I like her.

Well, you're not going to like this. Run phase two: Deep Cleanse.

Please put on your Deep Cleanse uniform.

Oh, I don't want to!

-Tough.

-This is so out of order, POD.

-Just get wiping, Nicola.

-Do I have to?

-Yes.

-This is so mean!

POD can see you have been hiding a lovely face.

No, you can't, POD. Stop lying.

POD never lies. Show me those pads.

-Yuck.

-It's not that bad, POD.

It's not that good either.

-How are you feeling about meeting the new you?

-Excited. I want it now.

Very well. Run phase three: The Makeunder.

Oh, my God!

-So, do you like it?

-Yeah!

I can't believe it!

-It looks so different!

-It looks so beautiful.

Oh, thank you very much, POD.

Take a good look, Nicola.

Does anything in particular look different?

Wow. But look at my boobs, POD.

-They look bigger, don't they, Nicola?

-Yeah, they do.

POD does not normally encourage such a display of cleavage

but wanted to show you that you don't need plastic to look fantastic.

-Maybe I don't need fake boobs.

-No, Nicola, all you need are a few

tricks and a lot of support to feel naturally uplifted.

-I've got lovely boobies.

-Correct, and not a melon in sight.

No, no melons. Maybe socks.

Oh, put a sock in it, Nicola.

Previously, the majority of the people we asked wanted to avoid you.

Let's see what they would do now. Play.

I think I'd snog and marry her.

She's very attractive. She looks very presentable.

I could imagine taking her home to my parents.

She looks like a girl I'd like to be around.

Marry. She looks classy, sophisticated.

Very nice. Definitely go for the marriage.

For life. Why not? Let's do it, man.

70 per cent now want to marry you

and everyone else wants to snog you.

Aw! Thank you very much, POD.

Here's how I achieved your new, natural look.

Add curls to a bobbed haircut for a funky take on a classic look.

Choose a corseted sweetheart neckline to naturally enhance a smaller bust

without the need for surgery.

I think it'll be a lot less painful.

-So, no boob job for you, then?

-No boob job for me, POD.

POD computes this makeunder has been a complete success.

Ah, thank you, POD.

-Goodbye!

-Bye!

SHE SHRIEKS Oh, my God!

-What do you think?

-Oh, my gosh! It looks amazing. Turn around

Let me see!

She looked really sophisticated without the extensions, without the fake tan.

This is the way that she's supposed to look.

I like the dress and shoes.

The outfit's really nice, and I've got boobs as well.

This is you! This is what you're supposed to look like!

Oh, Nicola looks stunning.

But will she resist the temptation of having a boob job?

We'll find out later.

You lot are pretty generous when it comes to sharing your beauty hints

and tips, but you're also pretty generous when it comes

to your fake tan, your foundation, your blusher, your bronzer,

your lip liner, your lip gloss, your mascara...

-Don't use "pall" foundation, because you will be... (BOTH)

-..Pall!

When you're putting your eyeshadow on, if you put some loose powder

just here, just dab it here, if it all falls down your face

you can just wipe it away and it's all gone.

Every girl has got to have eyelashes.

You've got to make sure your face is always glowing,

like it's not too much,

like you don't look like you've put paste on your face type of thing.

Next to face POD is the lovely Louise, a glamorous deaf girl

who also goes by the name of Princess Lolly. Watch out, POD.

We go shopping for the day, spend hours and hours.

I get really, really bored.

Louise loves her make-up more than me.

Your style's definitely over the top. It's OTT.

Louise, when she goes partying,

you definitely know when she arrives.

One good reason for Louise to meet POD,

it'd be good for her to realise herself that she has the potential

to become naturally beautiful.

I would love Louise to stop wearing too much make-up.

So I want her to be natural.

Hello, Princess Lolly, how are you today?

-I'm absolutely fine, thank you.

-Is your idea of hell going

for a night out in jeans and a jumper?

Oh, absolutely.

I could not wear that. That would be hell. It's too casual.

You need to be glamming up, you need to have a bit of spark to you.

How are you feeling about meeting POD?

I'm looking forward to it. It'll be a challenge. Bring it on.

Are you go in there and defend

-big hair and big lashes for all us girls?

-Definitely.

You can't change me. That's it. I am who I am, and that's that.

Right, lovely.

I'm going to wish you good luck in POD now,

and I'll see you both on the other side. Good luck!

I am POD. Who are you?

Hello, my name's Princess Lolly.

-Are you royalty?

-No.

Is this your butler?

Excuse me, this is my interpreter. His name's Mark.

Why do you need an interpreter?

Are you on a royal visit from Slapland?

I'm deaf. I'm a deaf woman.

Well, you're deaf, not blind. So what is your excuse for that tacky tutu?

That's so cheeky!

-So you're saying I dress cheap?

-In a word, yes.

Very funny.

-What is fake about you?

-I've got fake tan,

fake hair extensions and fake eyelashes.

Why do you want to have someone else's hair stuck to your head?

And a ton of tan slapped to your skin?

-That's me. What you want me to do?

-Be a natural beauty.

You know...my cleavage is real, everything else is real.

That is an achievement.

But just because your breasts are real it doesn't mean

you have to get them out all the time.

I cannot believe you said that. Shocking.

Who are your style icons?

Alex Curran or Coleen Rooney.

-Are you a wag?

-No, I'm not a wag.

-What does your boyfriend do?

-Football.

Do you spend all your money on clothes, hair and make-up?

-That's definitely right, yes.

-Well, you can stop pretending right now

that you're not a wannabe wag.

I'm not a wannabe wag.

-I'm not trying at all.

-Rubbish!

WHISTLE BLOWS Princess Lolly,

you get a red card for blatant fibbing and insubordination.

-Why have you come to POD for a makeunder?

-You know, I thought

it would be a good idea to come and have a challenge with you.

-What is your challenge to POD?

-I thought I'll have a go,

I'll see what your version of natural beauty is

and see whether or not I like it, whether it suits me.

POD knows that natural beauty will suit you perfectly.

-We'll wait and see.

-Yes, we will.

Run phase one, public analysis.

I asked the public, how old is this girl? 24, 27 or 30?

-Hopefully they've said 24.

-Why do you hope it's 24?

Because I am 24. That's my actual age.

-Play...

-She looks 30. Cos she's probably trying a little too hard.

I think she's probably about 27.

She dresses like she's 24, but then looks a bit like

she's trying too hard, so I'm going to go for 30.

Not really acting her age.

I can't believe the cheek of that.

55% of the people we asked think you look 27. 35% think you look 30.

Absolutely shocked. I don't look like I'm 30.

I don't think I look like I'm 30.

I also asked, would you snog, marry or avoid this girl?

I feel the public will definitely pick snog.

-Play.

-I would snog just for the banter with the guys,

but nothing more than that.

It's pretty much avoid unless the night was getting late

and there was nothing else going.

I would avoid her because she hasn't got enough clothes on.

Maybe if she had more clothes then maybe.

Other than that, I would avoid her.

I also asked TV's Jeremy Edwards. Would you like to know what he said?

-Yes, please.

-Play...

Yes, she looks just ridiculous, but I'd still snog her.

Just because, I don't know, she looks like she'd be up for it.

I flatter myself but he still said he'd snog me. So...

30% did want to snog you. No-one wanted to marry you.

And a whopping 70% wanted to avoid you completely.

I'm shocked. I can't believe people would want to avoid me.

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-I'm ready.

Princess Lolly, you clearly think you look good.

POD strongly disagrees.

So you will undergo my plastic princess of Slapland

to classy Queen of Naturalsville makeunder. Are you ready?

I am. I'm excited, yes.

In that case, run the makeunder.

-Well?

-Is it really me?

Take a good look at the new natural you. You look beautiful.

-Thanks.

-So, do you like it?

I don't think I like it. I don't know, POD. You might have failed.

You really can't see that you are very naturally pretty?

I agree, yes. If you cut the head off.

If POD cut your head off, you would not look pretty.

You would look bloody awful.

SHE LAUGHS

-Would you like to know what the public think of the new you?

-Yes.

-Play...

-I'd marry her. I mean she looks really elegant and refined.

I would marry her because she looks like

a very homely girl and very genuine and a very nice all-round bird.

Definitely snog. She looks really nice. She's got nice hair.

Dressed really nicely as well.

People must be blind!

40 per cent want to snog you, and everyone else wanted to marry you.

Right. I'm shocked.

Here is your natural beauty data...

Funk up floral prints by teaming them with

high heels and a waist clincher belt.

Just a small amount of colour to the cheeks

is all you need for a healthy glow.

Do you like your natural make-up?

It's too plain.

There is nothing plain about your stunning natural beauty.

But does it suit me? I don't think so, no way.

Which look do you prefer, Mark?

Probably this. I prefer this but with blonde hair, I think.

Creep! Is there any chance

you will be keeping your new look, Princess Lolly?

I don't think so, no.

That makes POD sad.

Tough!

Charming!

To be honest, your advice, POD, has been a bit crap.

Well, to be honest, Louise, your obsession with slap is

more than a bit crap.

Now, Princess Lolly, POD off back to Slapland.

You look gorgeous!

Turn round. Nice one.

I love your dress. I love your hair as well.

Louise, you look fabulous.

You look better.

I love your make-up.

I think Louise doesn't look like a WAG any more. Yeah!

I thought Louise looked gorgeous.

I'll be catching up with her later

to find out what she really thought of POD.

I like to think of myself as a

hard-hitting newshound delving into beauty myths and exposing the truth.

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

I'm forever laddering my tights while putting them on, I'm not sure

if it's the jewellery or just being clumsy,

but it's really annoying. A very odd friend of mine told me a tip.

I say odd because they say to put your tights in the freezer.

Yes, I know it sounds a bit weird but apparently it stops them from

laddering, I don't know why, it just does. Let's see if it works.

One pair of frozen tights.

So I'm going to put these on now.

Excuse me!

A bit of privacy!

Thank you. Surprisingly, not that cold.

It's not really a very ladylike way to put tights on, is it?

I've got them on, not a ladder in sight. I'm quite happy with that.

Just get my shoes on, I'm ready to hit the town. Laters.

Earlier on we met gorgeous Nicola who was dead set

on having a boob job. POD dissuaded her,

but has she stuck to a word or has she gone and got massive jugs?

-Let's find out. Hello, lovely.

-Hello.

-You haven't had a boob job?

-I haven't had one.

-Are you sticking to your word?

-Definitely.

-No big boobies yet for me.

-Did you enjoy the makeunder.

It was good. I've stuck with the blond hair,

I couldn't go back to being a darker colour.

I've done the make-up down, I don't wear too much make up any more.

Is this the new Nicola?

This is the new Nicola, the new me.

-And is she here to stay?

-Forever.

I think it's been a massive success, the make-up's toned down,

the outfits are toned down, you look absolutely gorgeous,

and there's no boob jobs happening.

So POD will be very happy.

-Have you got a message or her?

-Thank you, POD.

Thank you, POD, no booby there!

Next up are two best friends who are

about to make one very big enemy.

-I am POD.

-Hi, POD!

-Who are you?

-I'm Poppy Atom.

-I'm Bambi Pumpkin.

So is that why you look like you're off to trick or treat?

I'm the Queen of Hallowe'en.

Why do you want to look like you'd give the neighbours a fright?

I think it's quite beautiful to look frightening.

-You know what I mean, Poppy.

-I know what you mean.

-Care to explain it to POD?

-What we think is

pretty probably isn't the same as what you think is pretty.

How very perceptive of you!

Have we upset you?

-POD is always upset when faced with fakery.

-All right, POD.

With us it's just about making our personality match up with the way

we look. That's not really fake, that's about our natural selves.

So you're naturally two tacky teenagers who like to look like

-they've been at the face paints?

-Don't push it!

-Don't push it, POD.

Oh really, what are you going to do? Tell your teacher on me?

Ooh! Scary!

Who are your style icons?

I like monsters and aliens.

I like aliens and monsters.

So is that why you have ridiculous multi-coloured eyes?

I just like contact lenses, OK, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about

-that, I just like them.

-How long have you two looked like this?

-We came out of the womb with these outfits on.

-Is that true?

-No, it's not true, but I'm just trying to be funny.

-Hilarious(!)

But POD knows that somewhere underneath all that adolescent

angst are two very pretty girls.

I do kind of agree. I think I'm quite pretty.

Then why have you used your face as a colouring-in book?

To me, if you took it all off, I wouldn't feel naturally me.

Plus it's so much fun.

Yeah, you're forgetting how much fun this is!

OK, OK, no need to have a tantrum, children.

I now understand that you are really

just a couple of kids who like to play dressing up. Isn't that sweet?

Well, you don't know much, do you?

You seem really uneducated for a computer.

POD is trying to educate people about natural beauty. Care for a lesson?

-No.

-No, sorry. I like having fun with my look, to be honest.

I don't think I'd be as happy, and I want to be happy.

I do not want to be responsible for inflicting another

pair of moody teenagers on the world.

-Thank you, POD.

-And POD is quite sure this is just a phase that you

will naturally grow out of. So I will not be making you under today.

-Woo!

-Yeah!

Now off you go and enjoy your youth before you grow up

and become a pair of boring bankers. Goodbye.

Bye, POD.

So earlier, we met the gorgeous Princess Lolly

and POD tried to tone down her wild ways, but did she succeed?

Let's meet her and find out. Hello.

How did you feel about your makeunder experience?

I don't think it was unsuccessful, to be honest.

-But can you see how beautiful you are without all the make-up?

-No.

I don't like myself without make-up.

But today you've got very natural make-up on and you look stunning.

Thank you.

What have you taken away from this experience?

To be honest I realise I don't need as much make-up as I might have

-had in the past.

-Have you got a message for POD?

I would like to say

thank you for the advice, but I'd still prefer to go my way.

Long reign Princess Lolly!

Well done, POD, how does it feel knowing you succeeded in

stopping Nicola getting a boob job?

It feels podding brilliant, Frost.

And I thought Princess Lolly looked lovely, too. And you'll

be pleased to know last time I saw her she looked gorgeous and natural.

In that case, I shall sleep safe and sound in the knowledge

that I am a makeunder marvel.

'Night-night, you makeunder marvel, you, POD off!

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