Rockstar Spud and Chantelle Louise Snog Marry Avoid?

# Where are my pop stars?

# We are the hipsters

Welcome to the dark side.

# You know we're gonna party like we're rock stars

# We're as good as we come

Do you have a deep and lasting relationship with your make-up bag?

Are you hooked on hair extensions?

If fake tan was banned, would you be marching on Parliament?

If so, then you my friend are caught in the slap trap.

On Snog, Marry, Avoid we're here to help you free yourself of fakery and embrace the real you.

Oh yes, natural beauty is just a make-under away.

Hey, the PODmeister, how are you on this fine day?

Very well, Jenny Frost. Someone's in a perky mood today.

And why not? It's just delightful being here under the glow of your big purple lens.

I like to brighten up people's days before I tell them exactly what I think of them.

Ooh, there's no escaping the all-seeing eye of POD, is there?

I like to think of it as a full and frank interchange of opinions.

-With you always ending up getting your own way.

-But of course.

Who have you got for me today?

Coming up: A girl who thinks she's the cat's miaow.

I'd love to have more fake.

Fake, fake, fake is the definitely the best.

A rock star wrestler who thinks he's God almighty.

It's always important to have your hair looking as

big as possible so you stand out as soon as you walk into a room.

And a girl with cupcakes on her mind.

So, who's first for POD's make-under magic?

Well, I think it's time for POD to take on Rod.

That's who I think Rock Star Spud looks like anyway. You'll see what I mean.

# If you want my body and you think I'm sexy

# Come on, sugar, let me know...

I am the Rock Star Spud, the premier fly-weight wrestler of the Frontier Wrestling Alliance.

Fans expect to see the best entrance in British wrestling.

Everybody looks at me in admiration.

It's an image. You have to live like a rock star to be a rock star.

We got Callum, he does the guitar, Jimmy does the bass, we got security in the background here.

We've also got this girl called Mel, she, like, follows us around and stuff.

No.

I said I wanted yellow M&Ms separate!

It's always important to have your hair looking as

big as possible so you stand out as soon as you walk into a room.

I think he's jealous of the size of my hair.

He has been known to get out a ruler and measure the fact that his hair's ever so slightly higher than mine.

Some guys like to grab my hair, they like to throw me by the hair.

Jealousy, that's all it is.

At the moment he is looking a bit like Rod Stewart, and I think a make-under might

bring him into the now making him more like Brandon Flowers.

The most important thing about what I'm wearing right now is to make sure it's extra tight.

These ones here bring out the tiger in me.

Because I growl, you know what I'm saying. Oh yes!

These ones are more for the ladies.

I like to let them know that deep down I'm actually quite a loving guy.

These ones are the best ones I own, they bring out the sexual zebra in me!

POD, Rock Star Spud's here for his make-under. It's probably

going to be the easiest one you have because not a lot of people are perfect but I'm pretty damn close.

I'm in the presence of rock royalty.

-How are you today, Rock Star Spud?

-Fantastic, my dear, good to meet you.

-Why are you here, Spud?

-Apparently, I need a make-under.

Apparently, I need to find myself a girlfriend, so I'm here, I'm a good sport, I'm ready to go, Jenny.

Can you talk me through this look from top to toe and how long it takes you to get ready?

It takes me probably about three to four hours to get ready, but you always need a lot of hairspray, keep

the hair flowing big, you need a lot of rips in the top, just to, you know, get people thinking.

Nice tight pants, keep 'em firm around the buns, and nice shiny shoes, too.

So you're going to go into POD soon. What is the worst thing she could do to you?

Well, Jenny, if POD goes near my hair,

I'm going to pull her plug out and kick her in the lens!

Rock Star Spud, I'm obviously a little bit in love with you now,

but I'm going to have to say goodbye and send you in to POD.

I'll see you on the other side.

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device.

-Who are you?

-Rock Star Spud, POD.

And who is this motley crew?

-These are my band.

-Hi, POD.

I've got 1970s Rod Stewart on the phone and he wants his pants back.

Don't even go there! I'm hot. Hot!

-Chicks dig me.

-Who does your look attract?

Very good looking women, sometimes a few guys, but very good looking women most of the time.

Are you the style leader of the band?

He's our sensei. Yeah, boy. Yes.

He's sense-less! Please tell me you don't get fashion tips from him.

-You know, I've told them to style up a bit but they'll get there in the end.

-We are trying.

Yes, very trying. I can only deal with one fashion disaster at a time

so I'm afraid your band are banned.

What have you done with them?

Now that your band has split, I can focus my lens solely on you, so who is Rod Stock Spud?

I'm the smallest wrestler in Europe but I'm the best wrestler in the United Kingdom.

I'm the baby Jesus of British wrestling, you know.

-I mean, everyone knows who I am.

-PHONE

Rod's back on the phone and he wants his hair back now.

No! No! I don't look like...

Look, you're insulting me now.

Comparing your hair to Rod's isn't an insult. This is, though.

A toilet brush? Really?

That's very mature, POD.

Very funny. Very funny.

POD thinks it's time to brush up your image and let's see if the public agree.

It's time for round one, public analysis.

I know what it's going to be like. Everyone is going to fall in love with me, I can't blame them.

POD loves an optimist.

We asked the public if they would snog, marry or avoid you. What do you think they said?

-Well, I'm marriage material so we'll go with marry. There we go.

-Play.

I would definitely avoid. Horrendous hair, horrendous fake tan. No deal.

-Next one.

-I'd snog him because he looks a little bit punky and a little bit different.

That's what I like to hear.

I would avoid Rock Star Spud because he looks like he needs a really, really good wash.

20% of the public do in fact want to snog you.

Oh, 20%? Oh.

A whooping 80% of the public want to avoid you.

We also asked Radio One DJ Scott Mills if he would snog, marry or avoid you.

-What do you think he said?

-Um... Snog? Snog?

There was a stage when I went through my Bon Jovi period where I probably would have said snog.

-Now I would say avoid.

-Oh.

Rock Star Spud, you may be feeling rock bottom right now, but POD thinks all you need is a little remastering.

I guess there can be some changes, I suppose.

-In that case, are you ready to hear my verdict?

-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Rock Star Spud, with that hideously sweaty headband and strong-hold hairspray,

your look is totally half-baked.

It's time for my wannabe Rod to rock god make-under.

-All right.

-Round two, deep cleanse.

Please remove your '80s memorabilia.

-Now?

-Yes, please. I have a museum that will give them a good home.

Oh, Spud, what beautiful eyes you've been hiding all this time.

Don't be a flirt now. Don't be a flirt.

-I got rid of your band, now it's time for your headband, too.

-Ow.

And your belt, I don't think there's any danger of those trousers falling down.

-Now, put on your deep cleanse uniform.

-All right.

-That's much better.

-Yeah, whatever!

Are you ready for your make-under?

Initiate make-under in three, two, one.

Whoa! Whoa! That's weird. Whoa!

I look like Noddy.

You've made me look like Noddy.

-Great.

-It's better than Noddy Holder.

What do you think of your hair?

I liked it how I had it before.

I'm not saying it was ever bad.

It was never bad. This is a nice change, it's a nice change.

POD computes you've gone from Rock Star Spud to a Rock Star Hot Potato.

Yes, yes, indeed.

-Would you like to find out what the general public think of you in this new look?

-Yeah, roll with it.

I showed the general public a picture of the new you and

asked if they would like to snog, marry or avoid you.

-I'd snog him because he looks fit. Looks a bit muscly as well.

-All right.

-I'd marry him. Shh!

-All right.

-I'd snog him because he looks nice, clean-cut, quite muscly, a good pull.

-Safe!

That'll do. Give me her number!

Now, 10% want to marry you, and a whopping 75% of the public want to snog you.

See, I knew this. I knew this.

How would you describe this new look?

-Dashing.

-Excellent.

Glad we've rocked your world. Goodbye, Rock Star Spud.

Bye, POD.

It's gone very well today.

I'm happy with my look but I don't think the band are going to be too happy. I'm nervous.

The Rock Star don't get nervous.

-Guys, voila!

-You look amazing.

What have they done to you?

-I like it.

-Really?

-I really do.

You look like a lumberjack..

-I like it.

-Good. Good. There we go.

There we go, that's what I want to hear. That's what I want to hear.

Looks like he's been kicked through Gap backwards!

Rock Star Spud will be fighting them off with that new look, but will he go the distance?

We'll find out later. Talking about distance, we have been up and down the UK in search of style crimes.

Fashion felons beware, if you've ever committed crimes against shoe-manity, we're coming for you.

-Er... Not

-my

-shoes. Cheeky!

Socks and sandals do not go, you need to wake up and get a grip.

-They look a mess.

-I hate bright coloured plastic shoes with holes in them, they're disgusting.

I hate tights with open-toe sandals.

Wear closed shoes or no tights.

I hate minging toenails, when you've not thought about your toenails and you've got strappy

shoes on, when they're all either yellow and fungusy, or with chipped nail varnish.

One of the first possible things a girl can wear on

a night out and look possibly really tacky and trashy is white stilettos, they are the worst.

Next up is somebody that thinks they look like the cat's pyjamas but POD thinks they look more catastrophic.

Hope she doesn't have a hissy fit.

Hi, my name is Chantelle Louise and I'm a model from Blackburn.

-# What's new pussycat?

-This is my family, I have four cats.

Princess, Precious, Pringle and Prada.

I started to dress up my cat when I seen a pink and black princess jacket. She loves it.

She's just like my best friend, I love her so much.

The things that are fake about me are my hair extensions,

my eyelashes, my nails and my fake tan.

Real boobs.

I'd love to have more fake.

Fake, fake, fake is definitely the best. I want to have Botox.

I want to have my lips done and I might have a boob job just to have bigger boobs.

It's like cat's eyes. Miaow.

In case you were wondering, this is my pole, it keeps me very nice

and fit and it also comes in handy for the nice parties that I have.

My dresses, I like to have them very tight,

very short, so you need to look good when you go out, don't you?

You never know who's going to be there. Wow, here's my shoe cupboard.

We have white ones, gold ones, leopard prints, black, silver, shoes galore.

I think every girl has to wear heels, definitely. I feel so much sexier in a pair of heels.

Oh, Princess, let's go and get some new handbags. Well, I take Princess everywhere with me.

Maybe she could be an accessory, I don't know.

She always looks good on my arm, anyway. Princess, you have to have a look at these. She will talk to me.

It does sound stupid, but she really does. Wow, Princess, look at this.

Miaow, miaow. She talks back to me.

-SHE MEWS

-Absolutely loves having the jacket on, she loves the attention.

-She's just like her mother!

-CAR HORN BEEPS

POD, Princess and I look perfect in our matching outfits, so if you want to try and take that away from us,

then come on, you'll have a real cat fight on your hands.

-Hello, Chantelle.

-Hi, how are you?

Very well, thank you. Talk me through this look and what part is this of it?

That's my umbrella.

It's raining outside so I do need an umbrella, especially...

This is not going to keep any rain off you, though.

-Well, it keeps my hair dry!

-So, you take your cats for walks, don't you?

-I do, yes.

-In matching outfits?

-Yes.

What sort of attention do you get off guys?

Well, obviously quite a bit of attention, which I don't mind.

Is it all about getting attention off the boys?

-Definitely.

-Are you single?

-I am.

-So why have you come for a make-under today?

I've come for a make-under, really, to see what I would

look like with a more natural me, just see what sort of response I get from other people, really.

What do your friends and family think of your look?

My friends and family think that my look is just outrageous, sometimes it really is, but it's just me.

How would you feel if POD put you in, like, a nice floral shirt and some nice jeans?

I'd probably feel like a housewife!

Right, Chantelle, it's time to go into POD now, so I'm going to wish you and your brolly good luck.

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?

My name is Chantelle Louise.

POD is confused. With your parasol you look like Mary Poppins.

# Spoonful of sugar...

Yet in your underwear you look like Mary Pop-out!

Please take that parasol down.

Only for you, my darling.

To look like that must take a lot of bottle, not to mention bottles!

This is nice tan, POD, I look gorgeous.

Gorgeously orange. Did you forget to get fully dressed today?

-No, I did not! This is a very nice, classy outfit.

-What there is of it!

But POD computes that what you lack in layers of clothing you make up for layers in slap.

Slap? It is called very expensive make-up, I'll have you know.

Chantelle, POD's made many a dream come true, so if you had one wish, what would it be?

World peace? An end to poverty?

I want to be on all the lads' mags magazines.

OK. What if I gave you two wishes?

I'd like to attract someone caring - obviously loving - who's funny, very

sexy, who has a really good talent, maybe like football.

And perhaps earns a lot of money?

Oh yes, that would do nicely as well.

Well, until that happy day, who do you like spending time with?

I love my cats.

My little babies, they are.

Do you dress them up like you?

I dress them up in their own outfits.

As it's POD's mission to save dumb animals from wearing stupid outfits,

Chantelle, make like a teapot.

Oh, look at that!

Chantelle, meet Disco Kitty.

From now on, this is the only animal you are allowed to dress up.

Oh, that is absolutely gorgeous!

Thank you so much. Oh!

Now that I've stopped you from humiliating your cats, I want

to cover up your puppies and make you look nice and natural.

What do you call nice and natural, POD?

No make-up, long dress, looking like a teacher?

What about when you looked like this?

Argh! Yeah, she looks quite cute.

I don't recognise that girl, to be honest.

Instead of growing up to be a sophisticated

lady, you've regressed to a little girl who runs around in her pants.

-I don't want to grow up. I want to be like Peter Pan and live forever.

-Well, good luck with that one.

In the meantime, let's see what the public think of your look in phase one, public analysis.

Let's do that.

We asked the public if, dressed like this, they would want to snog, marry or avoid you.

-What do you think they said?

-Snog?

Play.

I'd avoid her. She looks like she loves herself far too much and she wears loads of make-up.

Oh, how dare he!

I would avoid that girl because she looks a bit tarty.

That is just so unfair. I think that's rubbish.

I'd avoid her because she seems too out there and too interested in herself.

In fact, a staggering eight out of ten people said they'd avoid you.

Oh, my gosh, you are joking!

Well, it's their loss.

-We also asked actor and model Philip Olivier.

-Ooh!

I would avoid because she just looks a little bit too fake for me.

Oh, how dare he!

Not a happy girl now, POD.

Well, this should cheer you up.

Are you ready for POD's verdict?

-I am ready.

-Chantelle, you may think you're a gorgeous

glamour puss, but POD thinks you look like something the cat's dragged in.

-Miaow!

-It's time for my mangy moggy to hello kitty make-under.

That sounds very good.

But first, brace yourself, Chantelle, it's time for the deep cleanse.

Chantelle, it's time to finally cough up the fur ball from the back of your head.

-No way!

-Yes way!

Look at my hair now. Oh!

Take off your eyelashes, too, please.

There we have one.

Initiate make-under in three, two, one.

Agh! Oh, my God! What is this dress?

Do you like your new look, Chantelle?

Oh, I look like erm...

Something like from the '60s or summat. I like the style of it.

I'm just not sure on the colour.

What about the make-up?

My hair's nice and make-up's nice.

Very...different.

Shall we find out what the public think?

Yes, let's do that.

I asked the public, showing them a picture of you looking like this, if

they would want to snog, marry or avoid you? Play.

I'd probably snog her, she looks quite pretty. Yeah.

Aw!

Definitely marry her, she's gorgeous.

I'd snog her then marry her, depending what she wants, to be fair. She's very hot.

80% want to snog you and the rest want to marry you.

Ah! Well, that's an improvement, isn't it?

Here is your natural beauty data.

We used an eye shadow with a shimmer to enhance the blue in your eyes.

Choosing a dress with a gathered detailed shoulder can even out a top-heavy frame.

Soft golden brown highlights break up too much blonde to give a softer look.

Chantelle, has coming to POD made you think differently about your look?

You never know, POD, you could have changed me for good.

-Make-under successful. Under and out.

-Bye.

It's important for my brother and his fiancee to say they like the look

otherwise I'd be disappointed if they didn't.

I'm really excited to see her.

Hopefully, she can see herself for being beautiful beyond extensions and eyelashes.

Hi!

Oh my God! You look beautiful.

I can't believe it. Wow. Who's that?

You look miles better. Brilliant.

-Do I?

-Absolutely fantastic.

-Oh, thank you.

Makes you look more grown up.

-More older?

-Just more sophisticated.

Her hair's not as big.

It brings out her face features more and it's a lot better.

I want to say to POD, thank you so much. Mwah. Thanks, POD.

-This is to Chantelle's new look.

-Cheers!

Wow! Chantelle looked incredible, but will she keep up her new look?

We'll find out later. First, let me take the weight off my feet. Oh!

It's not easy finding the ultimate beauty tip.

I must have walked for miles. Oh!

Nothing makes a girl happier than new shoes, but nothing makes a girl sadder than blisters from new shoes.

Blisters are caused by sweaty toes rubbing on the material.

So, if we spray our feet with deodorant, in theory, you shouldn't get blisters. Let's give it a whirl.

New shoes on - let's go shopping.

MUSIC: THEME FROM BENNY HILL.

I can honestly say I've had new shoes on all day and I haven't got a single blister.

So, thank you, deodorant, it works.

Do you remember Rock Star Spud from earlier on? Well, he went rocking into POD and lost the battle.

He came out looking rather dashing, a gorgeous natural beauty.

But has he kept it up, or gone back to his big hair ways?

Let's meet him and find out. Hello.

-Hello.

-I'm a little bit in love with you.

You're very handsome with this new look.

So I'm told. So I'm told.

As far as wrestling goes, how is this look going down?

Believe it or not, it's helped me out.

I haven't got these burly, sweaty men picking me up by my hair and

throwing me round because they can't grab nothing. It's great!

Can you talk me through this look?

I've learnt a few things since I been into POD and I've learnt that greys go with blacks, you also need

a nice pair of Chelsea boots here, nice pair of skinny jeans and a lovely tight T-shirt.

Brings out the guns. There's two tickets for you right there!

Have you got a message for POD?

POD, you may have beaten me the first time, but you know what they always say?

People will pay more money to see the rematch!

I don't think we need one.

Hello, look at this! Hah!

Next up is a girl who really takes the cake.

No, I really mean she takes the cake everywhere she goes, she can't help it. You'll see what I mean. Mmm!

-I am POD, who are you?

-I'm Laura.

You look like you've got a rash. What's all that scattered around your eye?

These are piercings.

POD's never seen piercings like those before.

These are new-fangled piercings.

They are called skin divers. There's a little disc that pops under the skin -

a little stem that comes up to the top of the skin and then the little star on top of the skin.

-Delightful(!) How many have you got?

-Erm, I've got my seven skin divers,

I have both sides of my nose pierced,

I have my septum piercing, my smiley piercing.

What's a smiley piercing?

-It doesn't make

-me

-smile.

-I think your spots have spread to your head!

-Do you like it?

No. Oh my POD, it's contagious. They're heading down your arm, too.

That was more the case of I just wanted to try it out.

It looked pretty and it will come down eventually on to the hand.

-I can't wait(!) Have you noticed you've got something cooking in your cleavage?

-This is my cupcake.

I've never heard it called that before!

Why have you got a cupcake poking out of your boobs?

-I make cupcakes for people's weddings, christenings, anniversaries.

-Funerals?

-No.

That's a little bit disrespectful.

I do apologise. Sorry, coffins and cupcakes don't go together, do they?

I've got two as well, I've got one here.

Along with the rest of your shopping list, by the looks of it!

They're my scrapbook of my life.

Showing people my experiences without having to just stand

there and talk to them, they can see it on my body instead.

God forbid you could have a conversation when you can just wave your arm at somebody.

-Get real, Laura.

-These are real.

This is real. These are real.

And do you plan to draw on any more experiences?

I plan to have two full sleeves of tattoos,

all up my thighs, my stomach, my back, my shoulders

And when you run out of skin you might have to buy yourself a diary!

Before you add that to the shopping list on your arm, I'm going to

declare you a make-under mission impossible. Sorry, Laura, goodbye.

Goodbye, POD.

Do you remember gorgeous Chantelle?

She was a crazy cat lady with no clothes on.

POD made her all gorgeous and demure, but has she kept it up or gone back to her wacky ways?

-Let's meet her and find out.

-Hello. How are you?

-I'm good.

-You've got clothes on!

-I know.

Result. What a difference! Tell me about your make-under.

I can't ever lose my hair, that's for a start.

-The make-up definitely is toned down so...

-Your skin looks lovely today.

-Thank you.

The last time I met you I couldn't see you for the foundation.

I know. It was fake tan as well, I don't have any fake tan on at all.

My make-up's like a lot lighter and I think

-it comes across a lot more natural.

-So have you got a message for POD?

POD, I want to say, thank you very much and I promise I will not wear skimpy outfits ever again.

We'll be watching.

Well, POD, I think you've outdone yourself today.

I do like to think I offer a service to mankind and womankind.

You have indeed. Rock Star Spud will be fighting them off with

his new look and Chantelle looked like a totally different person.

Natural beauty will always be victorious, but sometimes it involves quite a fight.

I'd like to say you've knocked fakery out of the ring on this occasion. Well done!

It's left me quite exhausted and longing for the final bell.

I hear you, POD. Ding ding!

Time to POD off.

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