The Twins and Emily Kerr Snog Marry Avoid?

# Where are my popstars?

# We are the hipsters... #

Welcome to the dark side.

# You know we're gonna party like a rockstar

# Boys will be good at that

# We're as good as they come! #

Agh!

Here on Snog, Marry, Avoid, our motto is forget fakery

and let your natural beauty run wild and free.

Let it take flight and lift you to the upper levels of beautyosity.

Yes, I did just make up that word.

So forget the tan, forget the false lashes

and lose those phoney ponytails, because you don't need 'em.

Just buy a ticket and get on board the make-under express.

Next stop, Gorgeous Town.

Move along, please.

Hello, POD. How are you today?

I'm in the pink, thanks, Jenny Frost.

That's good because we've got a bit of a colour theme in today's show.

-And why is that?

-Well, as you know, here on Snog, Marry, Avoid,

we are not fans of the colour orange.

Not if it's sprayed on with a garden hose, no.

Exactly. We prefer a more natural palette.

And not sprayed on with a trowel, either.

I always said you were an artist, POD.

Now let's see who'll be posing for you on today's show.

A student who gets her tan at the Costa Del Garage.

Tanning done!

Twin Essex girls with twice the tan.

One of the best things about being twins

is we can do each other's tans. The more fake tan the better.

And POD meets a neon nightmare who thinks brown is a dirty word.

What? Brown hair?

So if you're quite ready, I think it's time to create some works of art.

I'll have to wait for the creative mood to take me.

Shall I give you a little time to think about it?

Yeah? Do you want to POD off?

Er, no. I'm ready now.

I thought you might be.

BOTH: Hi, our names are Chealsey and Paige,

and we are the identical twins from Essex.

# I'm a Barbie girl

In a Barbie world... #

We both share everything. A bath.

BOTH: Cheers.

A room. A car.

We just love the fakery look. Can't beat it, to be honest.

# Life is your creation! #

One of the best things about being twins

is that we can do each other's tan.

The more fake tan the better.

There's no need to go sunbathing or anything.

You might as well just put on fake.

Our mum's made us have black quilt covers and sheets

because all our fake tan comes off on our bed.

She gets so angry with us sometimes.

Last time we saw the girls natural was on the first day of primary school.

Now we go into our make-up drawer.

This drawer is our best friend.

We have all the different types of make-up here, what we like to use.

We love false eyelashes.

We stick about three pairs together to make them extra big

and, obviously, cover up with mascara as well.

I don't think there's such thing as natural beauty.

It's all about make-up, hair extensions...

And I mean, what girl don't want long hair?

It's the bleached blonde hair, it's the pulling of the extensions,

especially when I have to go and clean their car on the weekends.

It looks like there's been an animal moulting in the car.

Now we're off to Southend, where we go cruising,

just to look for all the boys.

-We like the typical boy-racer boys with their souped-up cars.

-Yeah.

And the noisy engine.

To have a make-under would be brilliant

because they just look so fake all the time.

It would be amazing to get my baby girls back to how they were.

Listen, POD, if you think you can take the fake away from this double take...

We've been the same since we been born and this look will not be torn.

If you think you can change us, bring it on!

-Hey, girls.

-Hi, Jenny!

-Double trouble, OK, right.

-So, talk me through your looks.

-We love our hair extensions...

Fake tan, fake nails and the black dresses.

We do like wearing our black dresses

because it makes our blonde hair stand out.

I can't actually see your eyes.

Yeah, we stick about two pairs, three pairs together.

Our bottom ones are natural, we're quite proud of that.

So, you're getting ready for a night out.

How long does it take to get ready?

-If we were...

-An average night out would take about nine hours.

What?

-Nine hours?

-Yeah.

That's a long time.

Now, your poor father,

he's had enough of finding hair extensions around the house.

He has, yeah.

-And he calls them "the rats".

-Yeah. That does offend us.

Yeah, it does.

Are you having this make-under today for your mum and dad?

-Mainly it's...

-For us as well, because it will be good to experience a new look

and just to see, we might even like it, so who knows?

Chealsey and Paige, I'm going to wish you both good luck in POD now,

I'll see you on the other side. Good luck!

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?

-Hi, POD.

-We're Chealsey and Paige.

-And we are identical twins.

For the love of POD, your hair is so bright, it's singeing my lens.

Do you want me to get you some sunglasses, POD?

No, but POD might need glasses.

Have I got a lens malfunction, or am I seeing two different people?

No, we're the same.

We've always been the same.

POD cannot compute. You're not two different people?

No, we're the same!

Which is Chealsey and which is Paige?

-I'm Chealsey.

-And I'm Paige.

-So you are two different people?

BOTH: No, we're the same!

-Completely identical?

-Yeah. I'm one minute older than Paige.

Are you the prettier one then?

Yeah, I think so.

-That's so out of order, Chealsey.

-No, it's not. I'm the prettier one.

-Don't listen to her.

-What's out of order is all that slap.

Why on earth do you want to wear caterpillars on your eyes?

-It makes us look good.

-And we're lovely.

You're not lovely, you're orange.

-We're not orange!

-No, we're brown.

We look like we've been to Jamaica.

Ja-maic-each other wear so much fake tan, then?

BOTH: No!

-Have you always looked this way?

-Since the age of about 13.

When you looked like this?

Oh, don't make me feel sick.

That's disgusting.

Speaking of disgusting, let's see what the general public have to say.

Initiate phase one, public analysis.

Showing a picture of you looking like this,

we asked the general public if they would want to snog, marry or avoid you.

What do you think they said?

BOTH: Er... Marry?

Play.

Avoid. They look a bit cheap looking to me.

-I'd like to see them.

-Yeah.

I'd go for a snog and that's it.

They're not really my type,

but they look fit enough to pull in a club and stuff like that,

because they are quite fit.

I'd probably snog the one on the left.

But the one on the right brings her down.

-Surely not.

-No.

In fact, 60% said they would snog you but 40% want to avoid you.

-Oh, right.

-Well, at least over half liked us.

-Yeah.

We also asked Emmerdale and Hollyoaks star Alex Carter.

What do you think he said?

-Mmm...

-I think snog.

Play.

I think I'd have to avoid 'em both.

Just because they're too comfortable with their own twinness.

Need to get their own identity. Stop rocking about together.

-We don't even watch Emmerdale anyway.

-Doesn't bother us.

Chealsey and Paige, it appears that the general public does not agree

-that you look lovely.

-Oh, right. Maybe it's time for a change then.

Glad we're on the same page, Paige. Are you ready to hear POD's verdict?

BOTH: Yeah, ready.

POD's verdict is that all this fake hair and false tan

is causing double trouble.

It's time for my gruesome twosome to twice as nice make-under.

OK, then, POD. We trust you.

Initiate phase two, deep cleanse.

Now, what does your dad call your hair?

BOTH: The rats.

No vermin in here, please.

Bye, rats!

Time to cover up all that orange

and lose those lashes and wipe off all that slap.

We might need some more. This isn't enough.

Don't this look nice?

No, it doesn't, but now I can see the skin,

POD's ready to initiate the make-under.

In three, two, one.

-BOTH: Oh, my God!

-Oh, my POD, you mean?

-I look like a goth.

-POD thinks you look beautiful.

-No, POD.

-Definitely not!

This ain't for us, POD.

Paige, what do you think of Chealsey's hair?

I don't know. The style of it looks quite nice.

-Chealsey, what do you think of Paige's look?

-Erm...

Well, it's better than mine.

If I swapped you over would you be happy?

BOTH: Maybe.

Well, before we take drastic measures,

let's see what the public think about your new look.

I'd definitely snog both of these lasses,

they look very naturally beautiful.

I'd snog these girls,

I quite like the hair and they do look well fit.

THEY LAUGH

I'd marry these two girls cos I think they look nice and natural.

Chealsey and Paige, POD thinks you've gone from the terrible twins

to a couple of corkers.

-Thanks, POD.

-Goodbye.

BOTH: Bye!

-I'm really nervous to see what they look like, but I'm excited as well.

-You get both emotions.

We're really excited to see our mum and dad.

I just want to see their reactions.

Oh, my word.

-Come and sit down. Here's a drink.

-I can't believe it.

-It is...

-Oh, my word.

-It's so different.

-How's it been today?

-It's been a really good day.

-We got the make-up and the outfit.

-That's nice.

-Your eyebrows look better.

-They do look a lot nicer.

-Your dresses are nice.

-Yeah.

-And your shoes. I like your shoes.

-Yeah.

I definitely want to burn the rats.

-Rat burning session is coming.

-It is.

-Here's to a new look then.

-Cheers.

Well, I thought the twins looked twice as nice

after their make-under, but will they keep it up? Find out later.

Now hang on a minute, just need to make a phone call.

Hello, yeah, Style Police?

I'd like the Tattoo and Piercings Division, please.

I'd like to report some grievous bodily harm. Yes, I'll wait.

I hate it when people have name tattoos,

girls or boys have their boyfriend's or girlfriend's.

It's disgusting and cheap.

-Especially when they split up. It just looks wrong.

-Yeah.

There's nothing worse to see girls with tramp stamps.

They just look terrible.

God, I hate it when girls have piercings on their lips.

-What is that all about?

-Which lips?

Shut up!

You've got a beauty spot? That's cool.

But don't replace it with a diamond

because that is just absolutely hideous.

Next up is a student who wants to be an accountant.

There's only one problem. She can't do her sums properly.

For example, false tan plus more false tan

minus any sense of style does not equal a good look.

Hi, I'm Emily, I'm 19, and I'm at uni in Nottingham

doing accounting and finance, but my special subject is fakery.

In terms of look, I am 80% fake.

50 on my shoes.

I love extensions, I love big hair.

£60 on hair.

I love over the top, like, everything to be, like, really glam.

£30 on nails.

I don't know how I fund it.

£100 on fake tan.

If I was like a really poor student, I don't know what I'd do.

£300 a month to keep me looking glam.

Thank old mum and dad. They help out.

There's always new fake tan every week that I get.

I have different ones for different days.

The more fake and the more tanned, the more everything, the better.

I just love the whole tanned look.

I used to use those gradual ones and then it just got a bit more.

And then a bit more.

And then a bit more.

And now it's just ridiculous.

-Head up!

-Me and my mum both love tanning,

so mum thought it would be a good idea to buy a booth,

so in the garage we go three times a week and have a spray,

people can see us going in and out the garage.

They'll be like, "What the bloody hell are they doing?"

Tanning done. It's probably the best thing we've ever bought.

Absolutely love going to the gym.

I love it. And I wear, like, little pink play suits,

and just little shorts, little tops.

When I sweat, oh, God, it's a nightmare.

I'm, like, padding it so, it like... Padding, that's not even a word.

I, like, pat it, so my tan doesn't all run.

And if I break out in too big a sweat,

I stop and go.

Hi, girls!

My other friends, they're all quite natural and then I'm just...

I don't know where I came from, I don't know why it all happened,

and now it's just uncontrollable.

Hey, POD, this sassy student

is going to give you a run for you money.

-Hello, Emily.

-Hi!

-How are you today?

-Very well.

-Very brown.

-Just a little.

So talk me through this false tan obsession.

At home, I've got this spray tan booth.

You have a spray tan booth at home?

It's rather amazing. So I go in that quite a lot.

So talk me through this outfit. It's very tribal and small.

I made it one time for this thing that we had at school.

-I bet the teachers loved you.

-Oh, of course. They loved it.

Now, your eyelashes are... Dense is the only word I can think of.

How many pairs of lashes have you got on there today?

-Technically, there's six pairs.

-You've six sets of eyelashes on?

I think I'm so used to it. When I take them off, I feel bald.

I'm like, "What's going on?" and I feel really wide-eyed.

Why have you come for a make-under today?

Just see from a fresh pair of eyes what I could look like.

I'm going to wish you good luck in POD now

and I'll see you a little bit paler on the other side.

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?

I'm Emily.

What in POD's name are you wearing?

Well, we have what was a bikini top with a bit of fur, and...

Erm, some bikini bottoms, and a bit of fur.

I did used to have the skirt, but on a night out, it got lost.

I'm not surprised you lose things.

You can barely keep your eyes open with all that slap on.

Do you not like it, my eyelashes?

No. POD computes they make you look trashy.

Oh. I'm really sophisticated, actually.

-Really?

-Yeah, especially when I wear my glasses.

I do accounting, you know.

There's no accounting for taste, though, is there?

-Did you ever have a lovely, natural look?

-Yeah.

When you looked a bit like this?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

As if you've just done that to me.

Oh, POD!

What's wrong with that?

Look at it.

I look like a boy.

POD computes you look very cute.

Thanks.

So why the change?

Um...

I found...fake tan?

And POD thinks the only thing that should be glowing orange is a fire.

EMILY LAUGHS

But look how white my teeth look.

Only because your face is so dirty from all that brown paint.

-But let's see what the general public think of your look.

-Oh, no.

Initiate phase one, public analysis.

We asked the general public,

showing them a picture of you looking like this,

if they would want to snog, marry or avoid you.

What do you think they said?

-Snog.

-Play.

I would definitely avoid this girl,

-she's got far too much make-up on her face for me.

-Oh, no!

She does look a bit feisty and a bit tigress looking,

so that's probably why I'd snog her.

No way!

Probably avoid, because I don't like girls that wear,

leopard or anything like that, like tiger print.

-It's not my type of thing, to be honest.

-Oh, no!

In fact, nobody wanted to marry you,

and a whopping 90% wanted to avoid you.

-OK.

-We also asked Radio One DJ Scott Mills. Play.

Avoid. Too much leopard print and so much fake tan it's ridiculous.

And I like a fake tan.

-Emily, are you ready to hear POD's verdict?

-Yeah.

POD's verdict is that with your lack of clothing,

lack of inhibitions and lacquered on tan, your look is barely tasteful.

It's time for my totally tarty to posh totty make-under.

Choose a new hair colour -

chocolate brown, honey blonde, ebony or auburn.

Honey blonde.

No, no!

Chocolate brown.

Chocolate brown.

Calm down, Emily.

In order to turn you into a natural beauty, I need to scrub you clean.

OK.

Initiate phase two, deep cleanse.

In order to scrub that tidemark away,

I need you to hand over those locks and lashes.

-Can I just take one set off?

-No, keep going.

Oh!

Look what you've done to me!

Look what you've done to yourself, you mean.

-Where does it go?

-On your head, Emily.

Less talk, more scrubbing.

Let's see those pads.

Oh, Emily.

Oh, POD.

-Are you ready for your make-under?

-Yeah!

Initiate make-under in three, two, one.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my POD, I think you mean. What do you think of your hair?

It's quite cool.

-And your outfit?

-I think it's the jacket.

Can I take it off?

-Yes, you can.

-Oh, cheers.

Um, I like the jeans.

-Shall we see what the public think of your new look?

-Oh, go on then.

We showed the public a picture of you looking like this

and asked whether they would snog, marry or avoid you.

Play.

I would probably marry her because I think she looks really pretty.

Aww.

-Well, you know, she looks quite class, I'd say marry.

-Oh!

I'd definitely snog her. She has a nice smile.

We've done our sums, and a whopping 80% now want to snog you.

-And 20% want to marry you.

-Oh.

Here is your natural beauty data.

We gave you a short, more sophisticated haircut.

We used a pink base foundation to take the orange out of your skin

created by excessive fake tan.

We also added slim, sleek jeans worn with height to elongate the leg.

-So, are you happy with your look?

-Yeah.

-Maybe just little eyelashes on as well.

-No, Emily.

No more dodgy additions for you.

POD thinks this make-under has resulted in one very sophisticated figure and is therefore a success.

Yay!

-Thank you, Emily. Goodbye.

-Bye.

I'm really, really excited to see Emily.

It's been years since she's not been orange, so...

It could be quite a shock, actually.

I think that look she gave me, like, "Whoa!" I honestly don't know.

If they don't like it, I will know, like, how they react,

whether they like it or not. I just want to go and see now.

Oh, my God!

Oh, Em!

You all right?

Oh, my God! You look amazing!

You look cool. Even got the same top on.

-It's quite emotional, isn't it? Um...

-You got no eyelashes on.

-I know!

-That colour is amazing.

-It's nice, isn't it?

-It looks really nice.

-I like your hair.

-I like my hair.

-Hair's cool.

-I really like my hair.

-It's absolutely gorgeous.

-You look beautiful.

-Shut up!

-Honestly, you really do.

-You look stunning.

-ALL: Cheers.

I thought Emily looked great. Love the hair.

But will she keep it up? We'll find out later.

Here on Snog, Marry, Avoid,

we're always on the look out for cheap and cheerful beauty tips,

but who knew one little kitchen ingredient could be so useful?

Did you know there are 101 ways to use baking powder?

For example, if you, like I, have a sweaty husband

and find it really tricky removing stubborn stains,

you just get some baking powder, mix it with water, to make a paste.

Take the paste and put it on to the stains.

I'm rubbing it into the sweat stains now.

It shows I love my husband.

Then simply take the T-shirt to the sink for a good scrub.

In we go.

Oh, my POD! It's a miracle.

It works!

Earlier on, we met Chealsey and Paige,

who were naughty twins obsessed with false tan,

false eyelashes and lots and lots of false hair.

POD made them gorgeous natural beauties and individual.

Have they kept it up? Let's meet them and find out.

-Hey, girls.

-BOTH: Hi, Jenny.

And in stereo!

Now, you're dressed differently today.

-I know.

-Since our experience with POD, we've started dressing differently,

but we do try and keep some things matched.

Now, do you like your new hair?

We didn't like it, but now we've got used to it, we really like it.

You have to put the extensions back in.

Yeah, we had to buy some that match this colour.

-You wouldn't go anywhere without your false lashes.

-We've stopped.

We've got natural long eyelashes. We don't even need 'em.

The false tan's toned down also.

Obviously we still like to wear a bit to make us look with a little bit of colour,

-but we've not been wearing half as much.

-No.

Has it been a big life change for you, starting to dress differently?

That's been the main change for us.

And everyone's always just classed us as one person,

and we are two people.

Now we're getting classed as two separate people.

Which makes everybody happy.

So well done, POD. You got a message for her?

We'd just like to thank POD for our new naturalish look.

We absolutely love it. She's done a great job.

Hooray, POD! Hooray!

Now we all know we're not supposed to talk to strangers,

but POD is the exception to this rule.

She'll talk to anyone.

Quite frankly, the stranger the better.

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device.

-Who are you?

-Hiya, I'm Luie Zero.

What kind of a name is Luie Zero?

Um, just a magical, interesting name for a magical, interesting person.

Did you headbutt a rainbow on your way in?

-Yeah, I did. I think I won as well. Yeah.

-Are you always this feisty?

Possibly, yeah. It's too many sweeties when I was little.

And now you're grown up, who would be your ideal man?

Buzz Lightyear, standard.

Hands down, no competition. Done. In the bag.

Isn't he 11 inches of plastic toy?

That's all you need. It's all you need.

It looks like you need some tips in make-up.

-How do you get that slap all over your face?

-Just splodge it on.

How long does it take to "splodge it on"?

Well, on a good day, POD, if I'm having a lot of luck

and get the eyebrows symmetrical, you're looking at 20 minutes.

But if you have an eyebrow disaster, one up here and one down here,

then you're looking at an hour.

Why do you look so incredibly fake?

Do you know what,

this is naturally as good as it gets for me, I'm afraid.

You don't believe you're a natural beauty under all that make-up?

Oh, you cheeky monkey!

No, I am... This is naturally how it goes for me.

But POD's mission is to rid the world of fakery

and return it to natural beauty.

Natural beauty's not for everyone, POD.

You couldn't be exciting and fun even if you were a natural beauty?

What, brown hair?

Yes, that would be really scary, wouldn't it?

Please, can you tell POD in your own words

what would happen if you were forced to be a natural beauty?

Probably throw up in my mouth for a start.

If you put me in high heel shoes,

I'd be on my bum in two seconds cos I can't walk in them.

And I'd just be, like, well depressed, I think.

Do other people look like you?

Do you know, there's a lot of rainbow disciples that follow the way of neon.

I've met an army of neon people. In fact, that's you there, isn't it?

Yay!

You've been busted.

I just come back to get ya!

Luie Zero, you should realise by now that nothing gets past the all-seeing lens of POD.

Go, go gadget POD.

You are therefore rejected from my make-under programme. Goodbye.

Woo-hoo!

Earlier on, we met the lovely Emily,

a student obsessed with all things false.

False tan, false hair, and lots and lots of false lashes.

POD gave her a make-under and made her into a gorgeous natural beauty,

but has she kept it up? Let's meet her and find out.

-Hello!

-Hi!

-Well, I am loving your hair.

-Thank you.

-Is life much easier without a mass of extensions?

-It is a lot easier. A lot easier.

-And cheaper.

-Oh, God, yeah!

I do miss then a little bit, though.

I mean, the outfit today, I'm loving the outfit.

-Very nice and chilled.

-Yeah.

Last time I met you, you were wearing some sort of fur bikini.

The tiger outfit. It has been burned, don't worry.

-Has it?

-It's gone.

But I have put a bit more make-up on than what they gave me,

the lashes are back.

How many pairs of lashes have we got on today?

Only two but they're little ones.

Emily, I think you look absolutely lovely with the new hair colour.

I'm really happy you kept it.

The lashes are back, but just don't tell POD.

We don't mind a lash or two. But have you got a message for her?

Thank you so much.

I hated you when I met you,

but I'm really glad with what you've done. Thank you.

Good job, POD.

Well, POD, that was quite a colourful programme.

You're not kidding. We had all the colours of the rainbow,

and in the end, none of them were orange.

Another successful day for the arts.

Yes, but I've been creating non-stop. I'm quite worn out.

Well, that's quite enough creating for one day.

It's time for you to POD off.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]