Family Special - Rooneys and Wanda & Trisha Snog Marry Avoid?

# ..where are my pop stars We are the hipsters... #

Welcome to the dark side.

# You know I'm gonna party like a rock star

# I'm gonna do this, yeah

# Cos that's who we are! #

Aaah!

Here on Snog, Marry, Avoid

we are dedicated fans of the natural look.

We fight fakery wherever we find it.

We are here to help you tone down and big up your natural, beautiful self.

So if you slap on the slap, glue on the glitter and strap on the strappy shoes - be afraid.

And be prepared to clean up your act cos this is a family show...

As you are about to find out.

Hello, POD, how are you today?

You know, you spend so much time together, I've started to think of you as a sister.

A digital, bossy, overbearing, purple lens wearing, much older sister.

Thank you, Jenny Frost. And I like to think of you as...

-Jenny Frost.

-Oh, don't go getting all sentimental now, will you?

Sorry, I'll rein it in. What's with all this happy family stuff, then?

It's all relative, as today we have a brother and sister

who occasionally fight over who wears the dress,

and a pair of cousins from Bolton who wear...

not much, really.

Fakery runs in the family for the Rooneys,

whose sense of style is in a league of their own.

I was born to stand out.

We meet two clubbing cousins with a love for fluorescent and fishnets.

When people say make-up's heavy... I don't know what they mean, like.

And Minger or Manga - POD decides?

First, and in keeping with the family theme,

we have two people in dire need of some help.

-Meet the Rooneys.

-Wow, Frost!

Wayne and Coleen - you are spoiling me!

No, POD, not those Rooneys, these Rooneys...

Our Wayne's cousins.

-I'm Natalie.

-And I'm Stephen.

-And together we're...

-BOTH: The favourite Rooney cousins.

And we've got a cousin who likes to ride off the back of our fame.

People always ask if Stephen based his look on Wayne's wife, Coleen.

I just laugh, cos if anything she is based her look on his.

Getting ready for one of our nights out is like a military operation.

I'll try anything once to make me look even more beautiful.

Having my eyebrows and eyeliner tattooed is great because I wake up and I'm made up.

When I do drag, I'm called Coleen Smellybean.

But before I can unleash it onto the streets of Liverpool, I have to get my nails done.

-After all, girls love to have fun.

-Ow!

Next it's the teeth.

There's enough people walking round with yellow teeth.

We'd rather die than be part of that clan.

Ta-ra.

I think everyone should walk around with a bit of make-up on.

Why walk around looking pasty

when you can slap a bit of make-up on

and look like you've just been on holiday.

We are actually petrified to get a make under

but it's just all our friends and family

want us to tone down a tiny bit.

Sister, sister.

Natalie is great to go out with, we have such a good time

and everyone is drawn to her because she's got such a big personality and big, false boobs.

Let's face it, we are the wildest brother and sister in Liverpool and we know how to party.

Hiya, POD.

If you can make under the Rooneys, then you must be a loony.

You've got another think coming.

-Hello, guys, how are you today?

-I'm fine.

-Who is this little one?

-This is Trouble.

I have the feeling all three of you are trouble.

-Is it about going out and grabbing attention?

-Yes.

What do you do to grab that attention...

Apart from you, it's pretty obvious what you do, Stephen!

Natalie, tell me how you get attention when you go out.

I used to get my boobs out at every opportunity.

-So this is what you are known for or are infamous for.

-We like to cause havoc.

How are you going to control POD, because she's got a bit of an attitude problem.

POD mustn't know about our attitude problem because we can give as good as we get.

Good luck and I will see you on the other side.

SHE SCREAMS

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?

I'm Natalie and you've just given me a pure fright!

And I'm Coleen Smellybean.

-Coleen who?

-Do you not think I look like Coleen Nolan?

You look more like Kat Slater, but my data banks to tell me

you have a famous cousin who is married to another Coleen.

Not that I know of.

Maybe this familiar face might jog your memory, dear.

-Any name coming to mind?

-No.

Maybe some of your fakery might help.

Oh, my POD, I can see the family resemblance!

Sod off, POD.

Natalie, I can see you are lacking in manners as well as good taste.

While, Stephen, you have scored an own goal with your WAG wannabe look.

I do look sensational.

Stephen, do you even own a mirror?

That wig is the worst thing to come out of Liverpool since the shell-suit.

-It's not a wig!

-That's the funniest thing POD's heard in years.

How much does it cost for the two of you to look so cheap?

It does cost a lot, but it's better to look a million dollars, isn't it?

And with boobs like that, I'm surprised you have not gone bust.

-How big are they?

-They are a 30J, but they are going bigger.

Maybe Wayne's balls will give you the size you're after.

Wow - I'd love those!

Stephen, you look like YOU want to get your hands on Wayne's balls as well.

Don't you think they look beautiful?

POD is showing those balls the red card.

Where have they gone?

That size was just perfect for me.

Natalie, you are boob obsessed.

Why do you like getting your baps out like a baker in a bread shop?

I was born to stand out.

-Shall we find out if the public think you stand out?

-Go for it.

Run phase one...

Based on your current look,

we asked if people would like to snog, marry or avoid you.

What do you think they said?

-What would you say?

-Come head, our Natalie. Just press.

-Snog.

-Play.

Definitely avoid.

Avoid.

Definitely avoid

because she looks like a handful.

They are quite a handful.

Natalie, please stop feeling your fun bags.

POd also posed the question to

ex-Emmerdale and Hollyoaks star, Alex Carter.

What do you think he said?

I think snog because he looks like he wants a real woman.

REAL being the operative word, Stephen. Play.

Well, I live in Liverpool and I've avoided them so far.

I will continue to avoid them.

Of all the people we spoke to, no one wanted to marry you.

But a whopping 95% wanted to avoid you.

How do you feel about the public analysis?

What does analysis mean?

In your case, it means things have got to change.

-Are you both ready for my verdict?

-Yeah.

With the fake hair, tacky talons and tattooed make-up,

you are both going to have my...

What do you think about that?

-I'm natural!

-We are actually natural, aren't we?

You look as natural as a fish in a frock at a fancy-dress party(!)

-Fairly clever.

-Run phase two, deep cleanse.

Shall we say a prayer?

Only POD can save you now.

Please put on your deep cleanse uniform and cover up that awful hair.

Do you know what, the simplest thing is so difficult.

Fix that at the back.

POD is very touched to see you look out for each other.

-Stephen, it's too small!

-My hair doesn't fit under.

My natural hair, what I grew for four years, does not fit under this.

All the more reason to run the make under.

In three, two, one.

I'm sorry but can you hurry up and let us go so I can get out of this?

Stephen, how do you think your sister looks as a natural beauty?

She looks ridiculous.

Just what every family should have, a supportive brother.

Natalie, what do you think of Stephen?

I preferred him with the long hair. It's a shock.

It's going to take you another four years or so to get that back.

Previously we asked the public if they would snog, marry or avoid you.

Shall we find out what they said now?

I'm not really bothered what the public think.

POD will take that as a yes. Play.

Probably snog because he looks quite fun.

I would marry her because she looks like a fun girl and she's pretty fit.

-I'd snog him.

-Did you get anyone's numbers for me?

POD got one number, Stephen, and that was a massive 100% of the public

who wanted to snog or marry you.

Would you like to hear your natural beauty data?

Not really because I can guarantee that I'll never be using it.

POD is going to give you your natural beauty data anyway, just in case you grow up and realise POD knows best.

Make-up. Apply bronzing powder with a large brush for a warm glow

without needing loads of foundation.

Fashion - a draped cardigan will flatter a top-heavy frame.

Hair - darker colours complement the eyes

and the pony-tail gives a young, fresh look.

SHE YAWNS Oi!

-Has that stopped?

-Have you at least enjoyed your make under experience?

Yes, we have enjoyed it.

POD suspects you will all be going back to your fake wearing ways.

Yeah. Probably by tomorrow we'll be back to ourselves.

POD is sorry that you can't see the advantages of natural beauty, and so I bid you farewell.

-Thank you very much.

-Bye, POD!

-Bye, POD!

I'm hoping to be happy with Natalie and Stephen's new look.

If they like it themselves they will be happy.

Let's see what they look like!

Oh, my God!

-Let's have a look.

-Don't we look ridiculous?

-You look gorgeous.

Stephen jeans and shoes look nice and his hair and that.

He looks all right actually, apart from the cardie.

I like the hair colour. Don't like the style, it makes her look too old.

Maybe if it was straightened, she had the straighteners on it.

Maybe it's just where it's snatched back or whatever.

Cheers, POD, for trying and failing.

Stephen and Natalie looked a lot less Rooney tunes, but will they keep up the new look?

Find out later. All families like to make their money go a bit further nowadays,

so luckily for you I've been out finding some beauty tips that might just help.

We are all guilty of it, we get a new mascara and automatically we start pumping, pumping.

Stop, because you can get air in your mascara

and it fills with bacteria, which can lead to eye infections.

Not a good look for anybody! It should be more of a gentle twist.

Even better, if you can get a little mascara brush and pop it on their instead...

Use that and it will prolong the life of your mascara.

Perfect.

Next up are two cousins from Bolton who share a passion for fishnets, fake fur and all things fluorescent.

You might want to prepare yourself!

Hi, I'm Tricia, the pink fairy. I'm 23.

I'm Wanda, I'm 23. We are clubbing cousins from Bolton.

I feel like I am the sun and I stand out and shine on everyone.

We are not just cousins, we are good mates as well.

We love going out together and having a laugh.

My style is basically glamour model but it just never looks right.

It normally takes them about 90 minutes to get ready,

messing about, pampering themselves.

The one who looks the brightest is the best.

I just like looking nearly as bizarre as her.

That's what I like about Wanda, she is extreme, more extreme than me.

That's what I like about her.

When people say make-up's heavy...

I don't know what they mean, like.

I love dressing up, getting all the sparkles on.

-We love wearing our fluffies and fishnets.

-It makes you feel woo!

-All eyes on you.

A make under would do them good.

I'd like to see them dressed more mature and they would probably act it as well.

# I just want more and more! #

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

-BOTH:

-POD, we're not shoddy.

It's going to take a while to change this style.

-Hello, gorgeous girls.

-Hiya, Jenny.

So, is it all about the pink and the fishnets?

-Fishnets and fluffies, I think mainly.

-Fishnets and fluffies.

-How much attention do you get off the boys dressed like this?

-Plenty!

Do you think you'll still get the same attention with a toned down look?

I don't think so, but it might help me get better boyfriends.

So, are you two nervous about meeting POD?

I'm just worried about getting in a fight with her, cos she says some horrible things to some girls.

She is rather feisty, but I've got a feeling you two are going to be just fine!

I'll see you two on the other side. Mwah!

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device.

-Who are you?

-I'm Tricia.

-I'm Wanda.

-You're scary and hairy.

What on earth are you dressed as? Neon Barbies from hell?

You must be looking at her!

POD is trying not to look at either of you, it hurts my lens.

I think we look really good.

-POD disagrees.

-I've seen worse.

Again, that would have to be a big N-O.

My fake detector is about to go into meltdown. List your fakery.

Eyelashes, nails...

tan, plenty of it.

Not that much as her, though.

-Glitter.

-Wig.

-Yeah, bit of hair.

The only way all that would look good is in the dark.

Switching to night vision.

Oh! Oh!

I take it back.

You're making me look stupid, POD.

You really don't need my help. POD has seen quite enough.

How long does it take you to look this ridiculous?

I'd say a couple of hours. It takes this one a day,

you know, to cover up all them cracks.

That's a long time to make yourselves look like a pair of yetis in fishnets.

POD calculates that with that fake mermaid hair

and those fishnet tights, there's only one thing

you're going to hook on a night out.

And what's that?

-Ergh!

-THEY LAUGH

-Do you like your catch of the day?

-Hey, I've caught a good one here.

-Look at this, how big this one is, POD!

-I've not done bad.

POD is confident that if you were to cast aside all that fakery,

you might reel in something a whole lot tastier.

-That was disgusting!

-So is your look.

-Do people approve of your appearance?

-Absolutely.

-Shall we find out?

-Oh, yes.

Run phase one...

I asked the public, would you snog, marry or avoid these girls.

What do you think they said?

I reckon avoid.

Well, that's one thing you've got right! Play.

I'd avoid, at all costs.

They're scary, no. I'd avoid.

I would definitely avoid both of them.

It's like the world's worst threesome could ever happen.

Did anyone actually say they'd snog us or marry us?

A few, but I'm afraid, girls,

-a whopping 95% of the public wanted to avoid you.

-95?!

POD also asked celebrity columnist Joe Mott

if he'd snog, marry or avoid you.

-Would you like to know what he said?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Play.

I'd avoid these two.

They look like they've had an accident in a fake tan factory.

That's good. At least we know we've got enough tan on.

Yeah, I was worried I was looking a bit pale.

Tricia, you need your eyes testing.

However, POD thinks that underneath all that fakery,

there are two natural beauties trying to break out.

-Oh, that's nice, isn't it?

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-With your locks, lashes, and layers of orange,

you look like something the tide washed in.

You'll go from frightening the fishes to a pair of tasty dishes with my...

-Are you excited?

-Very.

Time to run phase two...

As you are a pair of ravers, POD would like to see you getting jiggy

removing those awful wiggies.

-Yay! Got it!

-Oh, my God.

POD computes your make-up is also a bit Pete Tong,

so please put on your deep cleanse uniforms and get wiping.

Oh, my word.

I'm a right scrubber, me!

POD's monitors show a distinct tide mark around your chin.

That's the self tan, that, POD.

Well, keep it to yourself.

Before POD completes the programme, please tell me, what's the best thing

that can happen following your new natural look?

Looking more stunning and then I get a boyfriend.

With POD, anything is possible.

Run the make-under in three, two, one...

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, I've got sparkles.

-Hey, look at your shoes!

Well, girls, what do you think of your fabulous new look?

Shocked. Really, really shocked.

I like my hair. I really like my hair.

-And what do you think of each other?

-Tricia looks good. I like Tricia.

-You look good!

-Tricia looks well good.

-I think she looks stunning.

Do you think this new look might net you a boyfriend?

Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?

We certainly will, Tricia.

Earlier, 95% of the public said they'd avoid you.

Shall we find out what they said now?

-I haven't got a clue, but I'm dying to find out.

-I'd snog.

Possibly marriage material.

I'd snog the taller of the two, she's more my height.

I'd definitely snog both of them, both very good-looking girls.

Oh, that's really nice!

In fact, of all the people we asked, the majority wanted to marry you.

-Yes!

-And the rest wanted to snog you.

Oh, that's better than avoid.

Here is your natural beauty data.

Hair, go for effortless glamour with a sweeping up-do.

Make-up, softly blending brown shadow around the lash line of the eyes

will make them pop with colour.

Fashion, flatter a pear-shaped frame with a tulip shaped dress.

POD is proud to proclaim that the make-under has been a total triumph.

You've gone from fishnet felons to stylish sirens.

You've made us look really, really good.

POD completely agrees.

Well, that's a change, POD!

POD hopes that your DayGlo days are done. Goodbye, girls.

Bye, POD.

I feel really excited to see Wanda and Tricia with a make-under.

Bloody hell! Wow!

You're wearing a dress, both of you!

THEY LAUGH

-How are you doing?

-Fine.

Wow, that's all I need to say.

I'm absolutely shocked that I've seen them both in a dress.

New outfit, knew hair, new look. Fantastic.

People are going to be shocked when they see our new look, I think.

-They are.

-They're not even going to think it's us.

I think the girls will probably keep it up when they go out, as they look a lot more presentable.

So, if anyone wants to buy my rave outfits, they're on sale.

At least Tricia and Wanda won't have to fish for compliments any more,

but will they keep the new looks or throw them back?

We'll find out later. And while we're on the subject,

we've been trawling the nation for the best beauty tips and we've actually reeled in quite a few.

My little secret for spots is a bit of toothpaste will dry them out.

My tip is, for clear skin, drink lots of water.

Anybody with spots,

take some advice.

Put vodka on your zits!

Earlier on, we met Stephen and Natalie, who certainly gave POD a run for her money.

Have they kept their new looks, or have they gone back to their very over-the-top ways?

-Let's find out. Well, clean, smelly bean, gone for good?

Definitely not gone for good. I just put her to bed for a bit.

Natalie, you weren't happy with the make-under that POD give you,

so you've given yourself a make-under today. Talk me through it.

My nails aren't as long, I haven't got as much make-up on

or as many eyelashes.

And I've got flat shoes on as well.

In POD's defence here, I will say, your version of a make-under isn't that made under.

SHE LAUGHS

DOG GROWLS

Oh, Trouble, don't you start! I think it's fair to say that POD has failed with this mission.

So, I'm really sorry, POD, but didn't work.

-Have you got a message for her?

-Better luck next time, sucker!

SHE GIGGLES

Here on Snog, Marry, Avoid,

we like to think of ourselves as one, big happy family.

We completely understand when people band themselves together in urban tribes.

It seems an awful lot of them have one foot in Japan.

It would appear one man's minger is another man's Manga.

I am POD.

-Who are you?

-I'm Pixel Dot.

Which are you, a pixel or a dot?

I am both, I am more, I am greater.

-Greater than what?

-Greater than you, POD.

-Incorrect.

POD could pummel your pixels any day.

Are you sure about that, POD?

-I don't like you, POD.

-I don't like that chain around your neck.

You sense of style has really gone down the plughole.

POD, you're very rude!

You look more cartoon zero than cartoon hero.

What's inspired this look?

I would say Japanese street fashion.

It's a random assortment of bright colours.

Ah, konichiwa, Pixel Dot.

Have you come all the way from the land of the rising sun?

I come from a universe beyond the stars.

I hope you've got a return ticket.

What is this universe called?

It's the pixel universe, of course.

That explains why you look a bit alien.

What is your role in the pixel universe?

My role is to come to planets like this,

and to bring colour and love to all the people within it.

Ancient POD proverb says, he who dress bright, dress very dim.

This is how I dress.

It makes me feel comfortable.

Pixel, you're in need of a style fixel and I can't wait to put you

-through my make-under programme.

-You're not going to defeat me, POD.

I'm going to continue to dress like this.

I'm just going to become brighter and brighter...

Pixel Dot, what's happening to you? I've not finished with you yet!

Who are you? Are you part of Pixel Dot's dotty dynasty?

No. My name's Amber.

Hello, Amber. Since Pixel has popped off,

I'd like to hear more about your Japanese-inspired look.

-It's Ganguro.

-Gang what?

-It's Ganguro.

So you belong to the Boy Scouts?

-No, it's a Japanese style.

-Please explain.

It's Japanese girls imitating Californian girls,

but it's gone a bit extreme, you could say.

And where are you from?

I'm from Coventry.

A Coventry girl, copying a Japanese girl, copying a Californian girl?

Something has got lost in translation, dear.

What do you have around your eyes?

I've put white all round my eyes.

I've put a white strip down my nose, and I've kind of...

tanned my face up a little bit, so it comes out a bit more.

Is that because you're a fan of '80s legend Adam Ant?

No. They're tanned, so when the light reflects off them,

they have a little bit of white.

-Does the Ganguro look demand that you walk around with Japanese cutlery in your hair?

-These?

They're chopsticks.

Is that for when you fancy gyoza on the go?

Yeah, doesn't everyone?

You look more minging than Ming Dynasty.

Come on, outside the box a little bit? No?

POD would rather be carried away in a box before I let your Ganguros on me.

-Are you ready for my verdict?

-Go on then.

Wise Buddha POD say when it comes to natural beauty,

you are a few bonsai short of a forest.

Since your Ying is not in tune with my Yang,

I will have to reject you from my make-under programme.

-Fair enough.

-Sayonara, Amber.

Goodbye.

Earlier on the show, we met crazy neon clubbing cousins

Tricia and Wanda, and POD turned them into beautiful, stunning natural beauties.

But have they kept it up, or have they gone back to their neon ways?

-Let's meet them and find out. Hello, girls.

-Hello, Jenny.

Right, first things first, you, young lady, too much blusher!

-Did you not like it?

-I did like it, but it's just not me, really.

I prefer me glitter and that.

How long did it take you to go back? Because this isn't real.

I feel lost without me essentials.

I can't do short hair. It was just a bit too plain for me.

So, Tricia, tell me what's happened to you since the make-under?

I met a new boyfriend.

On our first date, I kept to the look and he said I looked very sexy.

Ooh! Over all, I think it's a huge success, especially you, Tricia.

Do you want to give a message to POD?

Thank you very much, POD, for the make-under.

Thank you for helping me find a new man.

Wanda, we'll have a chat when the cameras are off.

Well done, POD. I think their family albums are going to look a lot nicer after this.

I should think so. It's nice to round up some black sheep and return them to their family fold.

You are sheer genius.

I astound myself sometimes, I really do.

But these are family get-togethers really take it out of you.

Oh, poor POD. It sounds like you need some downtime.

It's time for you to POD off.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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