Eli and Vikki Snog Marry Avoid?

Shake it, shake it, shake it! There!

I'm Ellie Taylor.

Snog, Marry, Avoid is back and POD's taking no prisoners.

POD would like to know why your hair looks like a bog brush.

Er, because it suits me.

If you're brashy and your look is trashy,

then hold on to your lashes, because there's nowhere to hide.

The makeunder machine that is POD is back with a vengeance

and on tour, transforming the fiercest fake fanatics of Britain.

Why do you look like a stripper?

I think there's something wrong with your lens, POD.

From Birmingham to Bromley,

Cardiff to Liverpool, she'll be creating

natural beauties on a street near you.

My friends and I are called the Lashies.

-The Lassies?

-Lashies! The Lashies! Not Lassies!

Families across Britain have had enough of the fakery

that's stolen their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters.

-ALL CHANT:

-Down with fakery, down with fakery!

We haven't brought her up to look like this.

POD is challenging me to find the country's fakest fads

and try them on for size.

Work the bum, whoa! Whoooo!

-Don't go out dressed like that.

-Why?

-You might get arrested.

Let the battle against fakery commence.

This is Snog, Marry, Avoid.

Roll up, roll up, this week we're in the land of the cockney rub-a-dubs,

in a place where girls love doing up their barnet...

..their boat races...

and where cockney girls wear very little except fake tan and a smile.

Oi, nanny! Put 'em away, love.

She'll freeze her thrupenny bits off.

POD has put out her feelers across the whole of South East London

and detected a massive fake alert in its beating heart.

Bromley.

-Hi, POD.

-Come on in, Ellie.

-Hello, Ellie.

-How are you?

Well, my hard-drive's been de-fragged so I'm very good, thank you.

And I am fine, as well, thank you very much for asking.

Jeez! You should be in a better mood, we're in Bromley.

What's so good about Bromley?

I've already spied a few big hairs, orange faces, big lips,

buzzwarbies on show, so I think you're going to have fun here.

Is there any data I should be aware of?

Erm, the fact that Bromley is kind of like a mini-Essex.

So you should feel quite at home.

It's true, cos Essex is my homeland,

but not enough people say "amazeballs" here.

Ellie, please don't go out there spreading Essexisms.

Totes, babes, totes. Promise I won't. 100%.

-Hmm.

-All right, don't go sulking on me.

I promise I won't. I'll get going.

Coming up in tonight's show,

POD meets a looky-likey who's a bit Gaga...

I do feel that I am just like her in mind, body and spirit.

..Bromley's biggest fakes reveal their latest fake fads.

Bromley girls on a night out is big everything.

..I get dolled up. Literally...

Who wants to be my Action Man?

..and we track down a leopard-print lady with a wild side.

Whatever I'm wearing, there's always some leopard print on me.

The people of Bromley love their fashion,

but just how far will they go to stay on trend?

Come on, let us in, please.

-Bromley girls are fake.

-In what way?

Fake hair, fake tan, fake everything.

Fake tan, fake extensions.

Bit of a crop top.

Just getting your bum out, and your boobs.

-So stripping really is quite popular here, then?

-Yeah.

It's all short skirts, belly tops.

Even boys are starting to do fake tan now.

There's kind of tanning guidelines for the 50 Shades Of Orange look.

Now for a girl who loves a bit of theatre.

So much so, she's living her life as an understudy for someone

with a great p-p-poker face.

Hi, I'm Eli, I'm 22, I'm from Hastings

and my style is Lady Gaga inspired.

You can be totally outrageous but look different

every single day. I love Gaga because she's not afraid to wear

anything and it makes it OK for me to do exactly the same thing.

I do feel I am just like her, in mind, body and spirit.

The things that are fake about me are my nails, my hair,

my eyelashes, my beauty spot and my piercings.

I've always dressed a little bit alternatively

and a little bit "out-there".

I did get picked on a little bit for looking different.

The more that happened, the more I thought,

I don't care, I'm going to look even more not what you expect.

Some glitter, some eyeliner, and life is good.

I think the way I look is getting in the way

of progressing in my career as an actress,

purely because I'll go to a casting

and you will automatically get stereotyped.

The person who dislikes my look the most would probably be my dad.

When Eli goes out at night, I sometimes cringe, thinking

she's forgotten to put something on. But she's actually got something on.

When she's dressed up in her Gaga outfits,

it's not our Eli, really, she's much prettier than that.

When I dress like this, I feel very confident,

I just don't really know who I am underneath it all.

When I go out, I mainly get good attention.

Eli's style is very skimpy and outrageous.

People look at Eli like she's a piece of meat.

POD, please bring our little Eli back that we knew! Please, make her normal!

POD, I'd love Eli to look natural

and have confidence in herself without the Gaga image.

I was born this way, POD.

If you think you can try and change me, you're going gaga!

Stop filming, there's paparazzi everywhere! I'm just...

Leave me in peace! I don't want the... I don't want the attention.

I've got to meet Eli, leave me alone!

Oh, right, are you picking something to make for dinner?

No, I'm thinking of making a meat dress.

No, you're not thinking of making a meat dress,

what are you talking about, woman?

Would you ever actually wear a meat dress?

Yeah, of course I would.

What do you parents make of it? They worry, don't they?

My dad probably worries a little bit about me

-when I go out dressed like this.

-Are they worried

you'll catch a chill because you've got no bits on your bum?

You have a naked bum. How come you want a makeunder?

I'd like to see if POD can change my way of thinking

and if I can still feel confident and empowered, but natural.

-Without your bum out?

-Without my bum out.

-I think we can work to that. OK, I've got a little quiz for you.

-OK.

-Let's just see if you really are Lady Gaga.

-OK.

So, stand by, there might be monster claws involved.

Would you prefer a love that lasts forever in joy and happiness

with your Prince Charming, or a bad romance?

I think it's going to be a bad romance.

You do that much better than I do!

Being completely ignored on the street,

or flashbulbs flashing all around you, like the paparazzi?

-Flashy-flash-flash, paparazzi!

-You like the sound of that?

-Definitely.

-Well, I can't promise you'll get that in POD,

but I think you are going to have a good time, are you ready?

-Yes.

-Come with me.

Get in there, good luck. Have fun.

POD, let me in!

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?

Hi, POD, I'm Eli.

Are you a little monster?

I'm a little monster!

Why do you look like Lady Gaga?

Because I love her and I feel really confident and empowered

when I dress like this.

You say dress like this, but you're not really dressed, are you?

What? I'm wearing two bras!

Underneath your Gaga, you are very pretty.

So, why do you want to look like someone else?

I don't feel as comfortable without make-up as I do with make-up.

POD computes that Gaga is also famous for her strong political views.

-Close your eyes.

-Oh, my God! Oh, my Gaga!

This is your opportunity to make a Gaga-esque speech to defend

the right to individuality.

People of the world, stop being boring,

stop wearing jeans and a white T-shirt and wear fishnets!

Never let it be said that POD does not support

someone in their individuality.

Yay, POD!

It is time to run Phase One...

OK!

I asked the public,

"Do you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?"

What do you think they said?

Um, I think they said marry.

I would avoid her because she looks very trashy,

it's a big turn-off. Too much hanging out.

-SHE INHALES SHARPLY

-OK.

I would avoid, all day long.

Too much make-up, far too scary. No interest, avoid.

Oh! That's a shame.

Personally, I think she's got a bit of a dark side to her,

so I would avoid her, because she looks a bit scary.

There's nothing wrong with that!

-Eli, 100% of the public said they would avoid you.

-What?!

No-one wanted to snog you, no-one wanted to marry you.

I'd love to get married.

POD's verdict is you are a scantily-clad good girl gone Gaga.

Oh, I like that.

And you need my Pop Star Impostor to Possibly Perfect makeunder.

It's fair, it's fair enough.

It is now time to run the deep cleanse.

Please remove all of your fakery.

You're not in Kansas now, Toto.

Ha-ha, very funny!

Oh, my God.

Remove your eyelashes.

Oww!

Get scrubbing.

This is emotional, POD. Bye-bye, eyebrows.

Hold them up. You look like you've been de-monstered.

Run the makeunder in 3, 2, 1!

Oh, my God! Wow!

You certainly do look "wow".

I really like my hair.

Oh, I like my belt, I've just noticed it!

Oh, my God, my shoes! Ohh! I like these! This is so, so strange.

But I really like it.

POD computes I've taken you to the edge of glory and beyond.

-Yeah!

-You're quite foxy, aren't you?

I feel a little bit foxy, yeah.

How are you feeling, looking at yourself like this?

I actually feel really quite confident with my hair like this

and just looking a bit... Ohh, this is so strange!

I do feel natural and pretty.

Previously, 100% of the public wanted to avoid you.

What do you think they said this time?

Oh, go on, snog me.

I would snog, because she seems like she dresses quite nicely

and looks quite attractive.

Oh, "quite attractive"? OK, we're getting there.

-I would snog, she is very natural-looking.

-Nice.

I think I would give her a snog,

she's pretty hot and she looks quite natural.

Oh, good!

Now, 100% want to snog you.

Yay!

All that is missing from this outfit is a big stick

-to beat the men off.

-Oh, yes! I like that.

-Are you ready to show your family your new look?

-Mm-hm.

Initiate the PODwalk.

Eli is about to reveal her foxy new look on POD's very own catwalk.

What will her mum and dad make of the new Eli?

I think they're going to be shocked,

but I think it's going to be a good shock.

Never in a million years would imagine she'd look like this.

-I can see tears in all of your eyes.

-Yes, you can.

-Is this more than you were hoping for?

-Oh, yes.

-She looks fantastic.

-Why do you think

it's such an emotional reaction for you?

Is it just because it's such a difference?

Such a change from having blonde hair for so long,

it's just totally changed everything about you.

And there's a lot more covered. Last time, there was a lot of bottom

on show - there's nothing at all.

Do you like this new look, Eli - the covered-up?

-Yes, I do.

-You're still crying!

I'm not...!

"I'm fine!"

Do you kind of feel like you've got your daughter back?

Yes, definitely, the transformation is so great.

We're just over the moon.

POD computes Eli has been transformed from a Pop Star Impostor

to Possibly Perfect.

We haven't seen her looking like this for over ten years.

When she came out, we just didn't recognise her, hardly.

It's such a surprise.

I feel like I don't have to hide behind that character anymore,

I can be myself and I can still feel confident

and I can still feel really happy and pretty.

Bromley babes love their fakery, and some of them

have even gone plastic fantastic and become living dolls.

The majority of girls around Bromley, I'd say,

would make themselves look like dolls for attention.

Why do you look like an insane dolly?

Well, you're only young once

and if it makes you happy, go ahead.

They like the bright lipstick, bright nails,

a whole range of them, just to get the flawless doll look.

Dolls look better than real people.

It's a beautiful look.

It suits some people, but it's not me and it is very Bromley.

The doll look is skinny, blonde hair, pink lips, big boobs.

-Hi, POD.

-Ellie, come in quickly,

my sensors detect that there are grown women in Bromley

dressing like dollies.

Like the ones you get in Soho?

Unfortunately, some of them have taken it that far,

but I'm talking about toy dolls.

Oh, like the ones I play... played with.

Yes, exactly.

So you want me to dress up as a doll?

I want you to investigate this phenomenon, but don't go too far.

When would I ever do that? OK, don't go too far, don't go too far.

Don't go too far... Too far...

What's the cutest thing about me?

Your tutu is really cute.

You're right to say that, that is cute.

-You look like a doll.

-Some would say that's a good thing.

I mean like a blow-up.

I think they probably sell them in a shop up there.

Can you guess what my favourite colour is?

-Pink.

-No, it's black, actually.

Oh, no, it's in my hair!

You look like a fairy on a rock cake.

I think it has a charming kind of spaniel feel about it.

-Yeah, it does, actually. Looks like a spaniel.

-Woof-woof!

It's a bit ratty.

It's not ratty! It's really natural and beautiful.

I don't want it plaited anyway, it's fine!

What do you like about the outfit?

It's quite revealing.

So you like it because there's not much of it?

-Yeah.

-Which is funny, because I am a doll

and very wholesome with very strong morals.

OK, right.

Now, I don't want to cause a fight, guys,

but who wants to be my Action Man?

I was just thinking, maybe me and you could go somewhere

and talk about our smooth parts?

-Our smooth parts?

-Yeah.

You come back next week, Bromley, everyone will be looking like this.

-Howdy!

-Come in, Ellie.

-Er, Ellie...

-How good was that?

-You look ridiculous.

-I look ridiculous, I concur.

How have the public reacted to this look?

If you dress like this, people assume certain things about you,

and it's not that you like to play with My Little Pony.

What do you mean, Ellie?

They think you like to play with other things.

POD computes there is nothing good about this look.

-Do I have to take it all off?

-You do, Ellie.

Thank God for that. Bye!

Now for leopard-print loving Vikki, but will she ever change her spots?

Hi, my name's Vikki, I'm 25 years old

and I'm the leopard queen from Croydon.

Raarr!

Everything's leopard print.

Whatever I'm wearing, there is always some leopard print on me.

If it's not showing on the outside then I've definitely

got it on underneath. I've got a leopard print laptop,

dog bed, clothes, even my bridesmaid dresses were leopard print.

Candice and I have been married for eight months.

She does dress a little bit overboard.

I don't think she knows how pretty she is without her make-up on.

My motto is, bigger the better.

Big hair, big smile, big eyes and big boobs.

I had my boobs done when I was 21 and I've never looked back.

I couldn't ever leave the house without my eyelashes on.

It's pretty much like leaving the house without your knickers on.

She doesn't need the make-up, she's lacking in confidence

in some ways - if you look at her, you wouldn't think she does.

I had a really hard time when I was in school, cos I've naturally

got dark eyebrows and blonde hair.

People would walk past me and shout,

"Go shave your eyebrows, go dye your eyebrows,"

and I'd get called Pinocchio and Concorde because of my nose.

It used to make me feel really low.

Vikki's told me lately she was bullied at school,

and I think this knocked her confidence a lot.

It would make me happy to know

that she could go out and know she's pretty

without all the slap on.

Candice and I would love to start a family.

I don't want to be one of those mums in the playground that

everyone looks at like mutton dressed as lamb.

I think at her age now, she needs to calm it down a little bit.

POD, please take away Vikki's fakery

and bring back the natural beauty that I know she is.

POD, I am the queen of leopard print and fakery,

I'm an absolute animal, you just can't tame me.

Raarr!

The lesser spotted Vikki can often be seen lurking around the shops

of Bromley in her special leopard-skin layer,

the camouflage is really very ineffective,

cos she's hardly wearing anything.

Put the leopard print down! Are you actually seriously looking at these?

Yeah, they're beautiful.

No, they're not, what are you talking about, woman?

So what came first, the leopard print or the fake stuff?

The leopard print. I've worn leopard print ever since I can remember.

Is attention-seeking quite a big reason why you dress like this?

I do love the attention, sometime I get a little too much,

my wife doesn't like that.

Do you think she would like you to tone it down?

She keeps telling me I'm naturally beautiful. I know I'm not,

-I'm very plain looking.

-People don't usually say that,

they say they like the fakery, not that they're plain.

I wouldn't say I'm ugly, I'm definitely not pretty,

just very plain.

I've got a quiz for you to determine

if you're really, truly queen of the jungle.

Rainforest treetops or low-cut tops?

Low-cut tops. Every time.

Gorillas In The Mist or misted all over with fake tan?

Misted all over with fake tan.

How many layers?

Do you know what? I've only got two on today.

You are indeed the queen of the jungle,

kind of like a sexy, souped-up Flintstone.

-Oh!

-"Oh, that's nice, thanks, Ellie."

-Are you ready for POD?

-I am indeed.

-Come with me, let's go.

POD awaits, get in there, girl.

Let me in, POD!

TARZAN CALL

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device. Who are you?

I'm Vikki.

What is the theme of your look?

The theme of my look is leopard print.

No kidding.

It's like my trademark. Everyone knows me as Leopard Print Vikki.

You look like you've been mauled by a wild animal.

Raarr!

I'm going to say two words and you tell me which you prefer.

Glamour.

Undressed.

I do like a bargain, value for money.

If you like value for money, why are you determined to look so cheap?

I don't think I look cheap.

But what do other people think of your look?

It's nice when I see people I went to school with, they don't recognise me,

I'm like, "It's Vikki from school," and they're like, "Oh, my God!"

It's nice that people don't recognise the natural you?

It's nice that they look at me and think that maybe

I look really nice and that I didn't used to look good.

What do you think the general public think of your look?

I think they will think I look different and unique.

Run Phase One...

I asked the general public,

"Would you snog, marry or avoid this girl?"

What do you think they said?

Snog.

I would probably avoid.

Just looks too fake and high maintenance for me.

Are you high maintenance?

Yeah, but I think a girl should always be high maintenance

and take pride in her appearance.

-I would snog her because she's very saucy.

-Oh, saucy! I love that word.

I would avoid her, she's got way too much make-up on and just

personally not that attractive, she's just not doing it for me.

Oh, well, each to their own.

Vikki, 50% of the public want to avoid you.

Oh, man!

POD's verdict is, you are a scantily-clad lover of leopard print

and you need my Jungle Tart to Queen Of Smart makeunder.

Oh, I love it!

Run Phase Two...

I look like I work in a bakery or something!

At least you're covered up.

-Take off those eyelashes.

-Ohh!

-Get scrubbing.

I look like a badger now!

Hold up both of those wipes.

Oh, dear. Run the makeunder in 3, 2, 1!

Oh, my God! Ohh!

-I look really glamorous!

-Yes, you do.

And I can't see your underwear.

No! Oh, my hair's lighter, as well.

I like the dress, as well, it's nice, isn't it?

I think it suits my body nice.

How does it feel to see yourself as a stunning natural beauty?

I feel like I'm going to, like,

I dunno, a posh restaurant or something.

POD computes that you are actually glowing.

I'd have to agree with POD on that one, I am glowing.

Previously, I asked the public,

did they want to snog, marry or avoid you?

What did they say?

I think 50% wanted to avoid me.

What do you think they'll say now?

I'll say snog again.

I would snog her, she's got lovely eyes,

beautiful smile and generally naturally pretty.

Aww, that's really sweet.

I'd definitely snog her, she looks lovely,

she's got a gorgeous smile, looks really friendly and approachable.

I am approachable!

I would probably marry her.

She looks really beautiful, she's got a really happy face

and really natural, really friendly.

Aww, that's really sweet.

40% of the public want to snog you,

but a whopping 60% now want to marry you.

It's a shame I'm already taken, isn't it?

How does it feel to hear this public analysis?

I never, ever thought anybody would want to snog me looking natural.

-Are you excited to show off the new Vikki?

-Yeah. Nervous and excited.

It's now time for Vikki to reveal her glamorous new look

on the PODwalk.

What will her family make of the new covered-up Vikki?

I can't wait to see my friends' and family's reaction,

I just hope they really like it.

You look beautiful, do you feel it?

I like the dress.

-Your figure looks knockout, proper knockout in that.

-Thank you.

What about you, Candice, what are you thinking?

I'm quite speechless!

In a good way?

In a good way.

Thanks, babe.

Mum, what do you reckon?

Absolutely fantastic, really, really lovely.

You're happy with it? You're happy with your new wife?

Yeah, she looks great.

Vikki has been transformed from a Jungle Tart to a Queen Of Smart.

I think my friends and family liked it,

by their reactions, they seemed to. I feel good.

I think Vikki's new look is very classy.

She looks great, her figure looks fantastic

and I just hope she will keep it.

Would you Adam and Eve it? Bromley lads and lasses never fail to dress

to impress, and when they're on the pull, the fakery goes into freefall.

-Hi, POD!

-Let us in!

-The perfect pulling outfit is...

-Little black dress...

Boobs out, legs on show.

Double Bs - bums and boobs!

It attracts men, POD.

Oh! No further than that, these will rip.

This is my pulling outfit when I go on a night out.

It would have to be rubber.

What you need to wear to get a good snogging...

Is disco pants.

Gimme a snog!

Eli was a Lady Gaga superfan

and Vikki loved leopard print more than life itself.

They both left POD looking like beautiful, sophisticated ladies,

but have they kept their look?

Yes.

Hello, leopard print, how are you?

I'm not sure POD would approve, what do you think?

I don't think POD would be too impressed

I'm wearing leopard print still,

but I can't live without it. It's impossible.

Everything else is pretty good, though.

Yeah, my make-up is a lot more natural.

I don't have the black eyeshadow on, any more.

And your hair is the same colour.

Yes, I kept my hair, I love my hair.

I haven't been light for years and years,

it's nice to have a change.

When I first met you, you spoke about when you were younger

and when things were tricky at school

and how the make-up had started.

Has it been quite good for your confidence?

Definitely. I wouldn't be able to go to the shop without putting on

my eyelashes, now I can go to the shops with just a bit of mascara

and maybe a bit of natural lipgloss, and I don't feel as nervous.

-So that's been really good for you, then.

-Definitely.

And Eli, you are a shining example of the perfect person on Snog.

You've had your look and completely kept it.

Yeah, I have. I really, really liked my hair.

The colour compliments my skin tone a bit more

and that makes me feel more confident

-to wear less or no make-up.

-Did you ever think you'd feel happy

and confident in your madeunder look?

I honestly didn't think I'd like it as much as I did.

I think, overall, it has helped me feel a lot more comfortable

in myself, in my own skin, rather than having to put on a character.

I think overall, this has been a really good experience for both of you.

You've both kept the looks, you both feel more confident

and more importantly, you both pleased your mum!

-Are you glad you did it?

-Yes.

-Vikki?

-Yeah, definitely. Sort of!

-Hi, POD.

-Come in, Ellie.

Thank goodness you look normal again.

Yeah, I kind of miss the frilly socks.

Yes, I was worried you might like some of that silly look.

The people of Bromley laughed at me quite a lot.

I'm not surprised, you looked ridiculous.

But they were nice, though, generally.

Quite a lot of fakery around, but we had good bants... #Bants!

POD computes that there is quite a lot of fakery in Bromley,

so I'm quite keen that you get back out there and crack on.

You can do what you like, doll-face.

I'm off to play with my tea set. You can POD off.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd