Advertising - Jeans The Apprentice: You're Fired

This programme contains some strong language.

Useless. Totally, absolutely useless. I feel so angry.

I can't put up with loose cannons.

You're fired. You're fired.

You're fired.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Good evening and welcome to You're Fired. I'm Rhod Gilbert.

In this week's task, or as Mukai would call it,

"the week after last week's task", the candidates -

competing for a £250,000 investment from Lord Sugar -

had to come up with an advertising campaign

for some Japanese denim jeans.

And Lord Sugar was so impressed,

he invited both teams back into the boardroom to congratulate them.

Useless. Both totally, absolutely useless.

Demented dimwits.

Oh, no. Sorry, I forgot.

He thought they were both crap and went berserk.

BONG!

In Apprentice News tonight, Rebecca cracks a joke so funny,

the other candidates go beyond laughter

into a state of paralysis...

Do you know what I love? "Claim your fit."

Do you know what's also quite funny?

"Claim YOU'RE fit."

..Dillon regrets buying his business cards from a pound shop...

..and Jessica realises there are worse cracks to be woken up at

than dawn's.

AUDIENCE GROANS

SHE GROANS

That was tonight's Apprentice News.

CHEERING

Let's meet our panel,

keen as trousers to help us turn things inside out and back to front

and get to the bottom of this week's jeans task.

Advertising guru Zaid Al-Zaidy,

journalist and TV addict Grace Dent

and comedian Phil Wang.

Welcome to your panel.

APPLAUSE

So the second candidate to implode

under the irate index finger of Lord Sugar was poor Natalie.

Natalie, you've been a bit quiet,

you've not been pushing yourself forward.

It is regretful,

but, Natalie, you're fired.

Thanks, Lord Sugar.

Please welcome Natalie Hughes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Grab a seat.

-How you feeling?

-Great, fantastic.

You're supposed to say, "Really disappointed, I'm gutted."

Oh, I was grateful for the opportunity, but I'm here, so...

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

How much was that black cab back to Scotland?

Oh... Thank God Lord Sugar was paying for it!

Did you...?

I don't know if this is true,

but I heard somewhere that you've never seen The Apprentice before.

Never. Never watched it in my life before!

I was just the lucky one!

How did you end up on it, though,

if you'd never seen The Apprentice before? How did you...?

I'm just curious, genuinely curious how you end up on a show

that you've never seen.

I just went with the flow and...

-What flow?!

-I just went there and done it, and it's like...

-But where was the flow that you went with? I mean...

-I just...

-I don't know.

-Were you just walking down the street one day and thought,

-"I'll just apply to this show I've never heard of"?

-No, my brother...

My brother told me to apply for it,

and so I got the e-mail, went to the audition.

I was, like, there 12 hours later.

-Was it hard?

-Oh, hard. Honestly, my God.

I work hard, but that was hard.

Sorry, yous might need subtitles for... Cos I'm Scottish.

And Irish, and American!

It's all right, we've got quite a mix here, don't worry about it.

We've got...

So, week two, you've gone out.

Would you have liked to have been in there longer?

No. It was my time to go. Honestly.

I was like, "I'm out of here!" Honestly.

I love this - "My time to go, that was.

"I was amazed I got that far, to be honest with you!"

Why did you defend yourself at all in the boardroom?

Why didn't you just go, like, "Yep, fair point. Yep, I..."?

Because I'm Scottish. I'm, like, patriotic.

I'm no' just gonnae walk away a loser.

Like, it's not in me, it's not in my blood.

You did stand up in the boardroom and say, "I'll give you 100%."

-So you did fight.

-Obviously I'm going to fight. I'm a fighter.

Despite having your bags packed behind you?

-I was like... Took a gamble!

-What if he'd changed his mind?

Would you have gone, "No, it's all right. I was joking. I'm fine."

-No, no...

-I know that you...

I know that you think that there was other candidates better than you,

but there was other candidates that should have gone instead of you.

-Thank you.

-And I'm livid on your behalf,

because I think that you should have stayed.

I think that there was people in there who should have been removed.

At least this week, you didn't, er...

-drop the F-bomb in the boardroom.

-Oh.

SHE MOUTHS

-That was it. That was exactly it.

-Sorry.

-Did you sort of...

When you did that, did you...? Were you aware of it?

Were you conscious that you'd done it?

No. No, I was... I don't swear. So I was like... I thought I was...

I was so proud of myself, it was like,

"Whose were the green glasses?"

And I'm like, "Me!" And he's like...

I was like...

When you say you don't swear, we... I don't know.

Do you swear? Let's have a look.

That's bullshit. Bullshit, darling.

-Sorry.

-There's another one that slipped out.

-Oh, I was just...

It was hard work, everybody was under pressure.

It's just very competitive. Nobody was working as a team, so...

I work as a team, my team are strong back in Glasgow, so...

If you're not working as a team, it's not going to work.

That is the angriest flounce I've ever seen out of that office.

-It was. Oof!

-It was amazing.

Did you say anything else to them before you went?

I forgot their names!

-SURPRISED LAUGHTER

-I know what you mean.

I don't know.

You did, though. You did fly out of there

with the scarf billowing dramatically in the wind there.

-"Get me out of here!"

-It was dramatic.

Let's have a look where it went wrong.

There are some people here

who have not pulled their weight.

Just general hangers-on or dead wood.

-Natalie, you're going to do the hair and styling, aren't you?

-Whatever.

Natalie, bless her,

is looking at the timelines.

Natalie, have we got the time?

Eight minutes past.

In terms of contribution,

there isn't any more from Natalie.

The strapline as in the strapping of the jeans?

No, no, strapline as in, like,

-the thing that sits alongside the branding.

-Oh, yeah, the strap.

If you weren't there,

what would have been missing from the ad campaign?

I'd put, like, a wee hash tag, if you can do that.

-Not a hash tag.

-Not on a logo.

Natalie, you're fired.

Do you not look at that and think that, like, Grainne, for example,

who hasn't spoken for two weeks, should maybe have went,

or Samuel, who hasn't spoken at all for two weeks?

I personally think, myself, I had a lot of, like, ideas and stuff,

but I wasn't getting listened to.

So I think when you're talking, talking, talking

and nobody's listening, you kind of give up.

I, like,... I felt like an extra.

-Like, I'm certainly no extra.

-How quickly did you give up?

You could see that there, by your face -

you're getting despondent,

you know, you're throwing out the hash tag and nobody...

A - why were they not listening, do you think?

Cos I think everybody was hungry for the power

so they were all about "Me, me, me," instead of "We, as a group."

So I couldnae win.

Have you worked in teams a lot before?

-Yeah.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

Zaid, 20 years in advertising - how hard is it to work in a team

when you have got perhaps big characters around?

Yeah. I mean, it is hard.

I mean, advertising is all about the team spirit and the team play.

I think, in this instance, the team dynamics were dreadful.

On the one hand, you had egos who defined project leadership

in quite an autocratic way,

and then you had the passengers who just didn't muck in.

It is hard, it was week two,

everyone was trying to be a chieftain.

I have some empathy but, equally,

it felt like you'd just given up and you were just standing back.

Yeah, I did.

Well, clearly Karren didn't think Natalie had done enough.

Here she is, summing things up in her usual direct manner.

SINGING:

That's right!

Basically, I done the model's hair, like, cleaned up and...

Cleaning and hairdressing -

not skills Lord Sugar's looking for, Natalie.

Karren is the master of the one-liner. And that was brilliant.

I mean, she's my queen. Harsh but fair. I love that.

But, yeah, she was being fair in that.

I've got the girls' packaging here.

Unclaimed.

Luxury. You...

There's nothing luxury about that!

This is luxury, sitting right here.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Sassy!

Er, I thought it was quite luxury.

What's luxury about it?

Well, I just... It's heavy, as Aleksandra said. It's quite...

I mean, for a pair of jeans. Zaid?

I like that. I did, I liked it.

I think that the actual packaging is pretty good.

I mean, by the time it went to the actual advert,

that's when it slid down the pan but that is...

-Quite literally!

-Literally.

But that is... That's nice, it feels weighty, it feels like it...

-What did they say? 100 quid for that?

-Something, I think...

-They were in that...

-It's fair enough.

-I thought, you know, it actually looks...

-Does it say jeans?

I mean, I've been using this at home.

But to me, that felt like something...

You know, you go out for a day's shopping

and you come back and you've been fleeced of £100

for some luxury jeans but you come back and it feels weighty.

On its own, it felt like, you know, it's weighty,

there's an inherent value to it.

It looks more natural than it does artificial.

I quite like the name,

although the philosophy behind it didn't pass for anything.

But, really, when you position that product in a toilet,

every element of the mix loses all its cachet and panache,

so, quite frankly, it didn't work.

-It goes down the pan, as Grace very eloquently put it.

-Totally agree.

Lord Sugar clearly didn't like either of them very much,

the packaging, but he preferred... This is the lads' effort.

"d.a.y." Day After Yesterday.

-I mean this...

-Can I have a bit?

-Does this say, um...?

Does this say jeans to you? MOUTH FULL: Have a bit.

It doesn't say jeans to me, it says something else.

I can't think what it is right now, but it says...

Says some other product, possibly food.

Natalie, do you think the boys did a better job?

No, I just, like... I didn't like any of it.

I thought it was, like, very cheesy. Like, there was nothing appealing...

It is quite cheesy.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Is it cheese?

These are bit cheesy, you're right.

It's got a back pocket on it, which is never appealing to me,

cos it looks like you're opening up someone's bum, you know? Right?

And then you see that inside!

Zaid. I mean, they said they were aiming at a teenage luxury market.

-Is that a big market, that?

-It feels like...

"Rich teenagers" feels like an oxymoron.

-I does a bit.

-I don't know how many there are.

And, quite frankly, I think the ladies make a really good effort

of trying to inject value into their packaging.

The guys here produced something that was really cheap and tacky.

What about the name? Day After Yesterday. "d.a.y."

How...? Is it...?

I'm going out on a limb - I quite like it. Is that...? Am I...?

-No?

-No, it's awful.

-Is it just me? Is it awful?

-Well, it is awful. What do you like about it?

-I don't know.

I just thought d.a.y. is quite catchy. I sort of remember it.

Ooh, er... Don't know.

Changed my mind, don't like it.

I thought the Day After Yesterday sounded more like a movie.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

In a world of Apprentice tasks...

Your task today...

..one man thought he'd seen it all.

HE PUFFS

Day After Yesterday.

I'm scared.

Day After Tomorrow.

This is a joke.

Day After...Yesterday.

It's never happened before.

-"The Day After Yesterday", meaning today?

-Meaning today.

In cinemas the day before tomorrow.

Jessica as project manager. Do you think she was the right person?

Fantastic. She was great. Wouldn't have changed it.

-Like, she was amazing.

-Why was she amazing?

Cos I think she's just so bubbly, like, happy, upbeat.

I like to surround myself with positive people,

and she's a very positive person.

Well, no doubt about it, the pressure got to Jessica this week.

At times, she was wobbling like a newborn foal on a bouncy castle

and got herself in a right old flap.

Jessica, basically, you cracked up on the first day,

-part of the first day.

-MUSIC: The Birdie Song

Like, I had a couple of the stronger characters

undermining me and flapping me.

People talking all over me.

Cos I had you two yipping at my ear nonstop.

People talking all over me.

You're coming up with problems to my solutions.

People talking all over me.

Who listened to me? Nobody!

I've got a luxurious women's fashion brand!

People talking all over me.

THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE

Let me finish, please.

People talking all over me.

Oh, God, shut up!

APPLAUSE

Er, Jessica.

Grace, are you a fan?

She seems like she's nice,

but she did give me a migraine. Like, because she doesn't really...

She doesn't know when to rein it in. And I found that...

What do you do when someone's like that in a workplace?

Give me some advice. Um...

I think you pull them aside and you have an honest chat.

But what do you say?

"You're really annoying?"

LAUGHTER

You can't really do that.

I did feel for her when she cried.

Because I think that not any of us are above

a little cry at work sometimes.

You're not going to say, but we've all cried at work, have we not?

-We have.

-I cried before I came on stage.

LAUGHTER

How important is it to have the thing you're photographing

at the photo shoot, Zaid?

It's pretty vital.

Fashion is about the look, right?

And so you're selling the look.

The fact the product wasn't there is pretty catastrophic.

But I think most fashion advertising features the product.

LAUGHTER

In Jessica's defence,

when it came to the presentation, the pitch thing -

I'm jumping ahead a bit - but my heart was in my mouth.

I thought, this is going to be hilarious.

When she's going to step up in front of the client,

so excitable, nervous - and yet, absolutely nailed it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like a machine. Amazing.

-Were you impressed with that, Phil?

-Yeah, absolutely.

Whereas Mukai was the opposite. He was very...

-RHOD LAUGHS

-And especially hurtful for me,

because he's the only brother in the show.

LAUGHTER

Have you appropriated the whole brother thing now?

Yeah, I think our time's come.

That was, I was like, come on, do it, do it for the club.

And he completely fell apart.

Whereas Jessica was the opposite,

a complete mess every other moment, but then...

I like Mukai.

I loved the bit where he was dressed like

a cross between Prince George and a Bond villain,

and then says to a 25-year-old, "You're too old for jeans."

Don't introduce him to Mary Berry, for God's sake.

Was he the right choice for project manager on a fashion task?

The best leaders are, I think, bamboo-like in their styles.

They have very firm roots, you know what their values are,

you know what they stand for, but they're able to bend in the wind

and assimilate different points of view.

Mukai, it was all about him,

his position of control, and no-one had a say.

Yeah. Phil?

I liked his bowtie. I thought that was pretty neat.

You got to respect a man with a bow.

Is that where it starts and ends?

Yeah, that's about all I got from him, that he has a bowtie,

he's a brother, and that's about it.

I was a bit blinded by that.

Sort of like when he got called up by the art guys,

and asked for his opinion, he gave no opinion.

And then blamed them later for not communicating with him.

He cut them off dead.

They rang him up to give him the information he needed to take his

side forward, and he just cut them off dead like it was a cold call.

Just shut the thing off.

This is why I'm surprised Mukai didn't go this week.

Because, whereas you were harmless, you know,

he actually was disruptive.

It was his fault, time and time again, that

that monstrosity of a brand came about.

That moment where Jessica could've been PM - what happened there?

I'm asking the wrong person. LAUGHTER

-Phil, you're a Cambridge graduate, you're a boffiny type.

-Yeah.

What happened in that vote?

Well, actually the whole third year was about Apprentice maths.

-It was like a mathematical black hole that happened?

-It was strange.

Basically, everyone took a vote,

and each candidate for PM voted for themselves.

And so they were equal, four against four.

And then someone said, "No, Rebecca, you can't vote for yourself."

So then Rebecca took her hand down.

But Jessica - and this is where Jessica's clever -

Jessica kept her hand up.

And so everyone went, "Four against three, OK, Jessica wins."

APPLAUSE

She's good. She's good.

It may only be week two, but Jessica wasn't the only one

on the girls' team struggling with tiredness.

But I think I've found out why.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-'Cling-cling.'

Doodle-ooh.

Brrroop-brrroop.

Arf.

Bong bong.

SHE HANGS UP

That explains it. Dillon, prank calling in the middle of the night.

When he was making those sounds,

I thought he was having phone sex with R2-D2, but no.

You like Dillon, but he was responsible for - and I'm going

to go out on a limb here - the worst advert the world has ever seen.

I thought it was 1,000 times worse than the girls' advert.

I thought it was the naffest,

cheesiest pile of rubbish I've ever seen in my life.

With the skate park...

But he gave it so much when he was doing it, didn't he? He was there.

-He was so present.

-The naffest... "Oh, it's cool!"

"Oh, no, have you ripped your jeans?"

"Of course I haven't, they're d.a.y. jeans, they never tear."

What are they made of, asbestos? What's going on?

He seemed to make a big mistake by thinking that the models

should speak. Because that's not what they're paid to do.

He wasn't hiring actors.

Models are very beautiful, and they often shouldn't talk.

They sounded like aliens pretending to be people.

"Definitely...cool...?"

LAUGHTER

Karthik, how did you get on with Karthik?

As the only person here who was on the inside, who's met him?

Oh, he was so bubbly. Like, so much energy, he was brilliant.

He likes to chat a lot, but that's his personality.

He didn't change from start to finish.

I couldn't imagine sharing a house with Karthik,

the idea of opening one eye at seven o'clock in the morning and

he's there with his monobrow, just talking.

Just like...

The good thing was, I wasn't there. I was only there two weeks.

So I didn't get to know half their names!

He kicked off, properly kicked off this week.

Zaid, is he...?

Is it all him, is he being managed badly? Is it avoidable?

What's going on with Karthik?

He's clearly a character. He's very chalk and cheese.

Big ego, arguably.

But Mukai really pushed him to the edge.

I think anyone, when pushed to the edge...

How did Mukai push him to the edge, do you think?

He just didn't listen. Didn't give him any wiggle room whatsoever.

There was clearly a disaster being brewed in the edit suite,

and the guy was going,

"Look, give me five minutes, give me a chance to save this thing."

And five minutes was not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things,

and he just wouldn't budge, so I guess they just clashed.

It was probably my favourite part of the whole episode,

when JD just went, "For the love of God, just shut up!"

I just thought, that's how we all feel, you know?

He's sort of like the male Jessica. Right?

I want the final just to be them, head-to-head,

just talking and whoever dies of thirst first loses.

I love Karthik, there's something for everyone.

He's a complete diva one minute,

super-confident, predicts he's going to be Prime Minister, of course.

But we've got some unseen footage of a lovely moment when he gets

a little bit confused about choosing the models.

We need to pick a guy and a girl,

and the girl goes on for the digital campaign.

This guy's great. I think he looks fun.

I also think maybe India?

But the market is UK. You don't want any Caucasian person in there?

-India is Caucasian.

-No, Caucasian means white, Indians are brown.

-I'm an Indian.

-India is her name.

-Oh.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

I don't doubt he's going to be Prime Minister, but I think

he may need a little spell at the Foreign Office first before he does.

Now, a feature new to You're Fired,

one befitting a well-respected, educational BBC Two business show.

Hello, hi! Is it Alex?

-Pleased to meet you.

-I'm Rebecca.

We're quite excited by your big knobs.

"BOING!" SOUND EFFECT

LAUGHTER

I'm really sorry!

Nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!

APPLAUSE

Wonderful stuff. More informative, unseen nonsense like that

at some point in the future.

So, Natalie, I'm happy to say Lord Sugar isn't all about the firing,

he's also got some advice for you as well.

What one has to admire about Natalie

is that she's already got a successful business

in her hair salon,

and wanted to come into the process

to see whether she could enhance that.

When you come into this process,

you've actually got to do something,

put yourself forward.

I think she stood back,

did nothing, and that was really it.

I think what she needs to do

is stick to what she knows.

I think she should carry on and enhance that business.

That was lovely.

-Good advice?

-He's correct, obviously, stick with what you know.

Like, obviously, what you know, like,

I'm no' going to go into something that's going to confuse me.

I'm just focused on my business, expanding it and just growing.

Has this given you confidence -

even though it didn't work out quite so well on this -

has given you confidence in your business to go forward?

Erm...

It's made me realise a couple of things, like,

I would never go into business with somebody...

LAUGHTER

What was I actually thinking about,

giving somebody 50% for an investment?

Because I'm already successful, I'm hard-working.

But it was a great experience

and I'm very, very grateful for the opportunity.

What is your business plan, Natalie?

My business plan's to grow VIP.

It's the biggest one-stop shop in Scotland just now.

We've won a lot of awards and stuff, so I just want to aim higher.

Well, Lord Sugar made his decision,

but does our panel feel it was the right one?

Zaid?

No.

-Oh.

-I mean, I think there were a lot of passengers,

and there were a lot that were a lot worse than you.

I think you've got great tenacity, you've got a great heart,

and I think it would actually have been really good to see you

-grow in the show.

-Thank you.

-Grace?

No. Natalie shouldn't have gone.

I think she lost her footing a bit,

and I think she was an easy target to pick off.

There was other people that should have been kicked out.

Thank you.

It's going all right so far. Phil?

-No, yeah, I think...

-No, yeah?

LAUGHTER

Still trying to decide.

No, definitely not, it shouldn't have been you, Natalie.

I think there were some far worse people.

I do think Mukai should've gone, much as I hate to say it.

He should've gone, he was just really ineffectual and kind of meh.

It should've been him.

-Thank you.

-Three out of three!

-Not bad.

-Good work.

-What do you think?

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

I need an ego boost!

Erm... Erm...!

What's that? I'm not allowed to have an opinion, apparently.

It says I absolutely must remain impartial.

Must remain impartial, I'm getting that, unfortunately.

You can tell me later.

LAUGHTER

Our panel doesn't think you should have been fired, Natalie.

It's time to find out what the audience think.

If you agree with Lord Sugar,

Natalie should've been fired, hold up Fired.

If you disagree, then please hold up Hired now.

Hmm.

They say Fired. Natalie, I'm afraid the audience, it's split.

Our panel doesn't think you should.

The panel disagree - it's like the Labour Party here.

We've got a split in the room.

The audience think you should've been fired.

-But it's quite close, it is quite close.

-Thanks.

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

Don't say "aw" now! You just fired her!

LAUGHTER

You're not going to go away - I know you've enjoyed the opportunity -

but you're not going to go away empty-handed, Natalie.

Because you said that you couldn't make your voice heard,

there was a lot of loud characters in there, shouting you down.

So we thought we'd help you out with this beautiful -

-we think possibly unique - denim megaphone.

-I love it!

It's adorable!

So that you can get your voice heard more easily.

I'll switch it on for you, you can give that a go, by all means.

-Do you want to give that a go?

-No!

Do you want me to? I'll just test that it works.

Just switch it on to Scottish.

LAUGHTER

SCOTTISH ACCENT: That's bullshit, darling, bullshit!

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Brilliant, thanks so much.

-That's all right.

-Thank you.

I love it, it's amazing.

Natalie, it's a real, genuine shame that you're out so early on.

But we hope you've enjoyed coming on the show.

Let's have a look at your highlights.

I'm gutted Natalie's gone.

Natalie's a little sweetheart.

I don't think anyone has a bad word to say about Natalie.

I've only spoke to Natalie once.

And I didn't understand a word she said.

That's bullshit. Bullshit, darling.

I think she had a lot more to give,

and there was a lot more she wanted to show.

Yeah, got a deal, thank you very much, gentlemen.

# I know that I let you down

# Is it too late to say I'm sorry now...? #

I didn't spend much time with her,

but the time I did spend with her,

I would like to think was quality.

So, she was cool. Natalie was cool.

You snooze, you lose.

Ladies and gentlemen, the wonderful Natalie Hughes.

APPLAUSE

If you want to see more Apprentice exclusives,

head over to BBC iPlayer.

Next week - or as Mukai calls it,

seven weeks after six weeks ago - our candidates will be

sinking their teeth into the business of seaside sweets.

They say that sugar is bad for you, and this sugar's going to be

very bad for one of you today, that's for sure.

# Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down... #

This is terrible, man!

That's interesting.

MANIC LAUGHTER

If you just concentrated on that, we'd all be fine.

There she blows.

Not getting angry, just telling you my point.

I'm not arguing, we just need to get this done.

That's a waste of time.

He hung up on me.

So where are we going now?

I don't know what's going on.

Ollie, please slow down.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh...!

Ooh!

Who will be our Willy Wonka,

and who will be flushed into a river of chocolate like Augustus Gloop?

I'll be back next Thursday at 10pm for more You're Fired.

Goodnight.

APPLAUSE