Corporate Candy The Apprentice: You're Fired

Useless.

Totally, absolutely useless.

I feel so angry.

I can't put up with loose cannons.

You're fired.

You're fired. You're fired.

APPLAUSE

MUSIC: I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside

Come on, ladies and gentlemen!

Roll up, roll up, get your sweets! Get your sweets.

Go on, grab it. Welcome to the show.

Welcome to the show, grab some sweets, grab some sweets.

Aw!

Awwww!

Right.

Ah! Good evening, and welcome to You're Fired. I'm Rhod Gilbert.

In this week's task,

the candidates competing for a £250,000 investment from Lord Sugar

were off to the seaside for sun, sea and confectionery, AKA sweets.

Boys and girls teams were mixed up for the first time, and after

three long weeks, Karthik finally agreed to shave his monobrow.

-ALL:

-Yay!

Whoo!

I wouldn't get too carried away though, because I think

I spotted the infamous mega-monobrow lurking in the kitchen.

LAUGHTER

In Apprentice News tonight...

BONG

Paul is disappointed with his new tortoise...

Sofiane gets confused, and thinks he's on The Apprentice 1956.

I strongly want to be in the corporate side,

-I'm not comfortable in the kitchen.

-Yeah.

I've got a wife who cooks for me, so...

And JD unveils his new chat-up line...

Pretty sure I've got a massive sweat patch on my bum right now.

And that was tonight's Apprentice News.

APPLAUSE

Let's meet our panel, ready to suck on this week's confectionery task

till it dissolves.

Owner of a gourmet candy business

and star of Made In Chelsea, Jamie Laing.

Presenter and Apprentice fan Konnie Huq,

and comedian Susan Calman. Welcome to You're Fired.

APPLAUSE

So, the third candidate to detonate under the dastardly digit of

Lord Sugar was Lord Sausage - Oliver.

Oliver...

Your best hope...

..for 250 grand...

..is to buy yourself a scratchcard.

You're fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar.

Please welcome Oliver Nohl-Oser!

APPLAUSE

Sausage Oliver!

-Indeed!

-Sausage Oliver, if I may call you Sausage Oliver.

You've gone out with a banger. How do you feel?

I feel absolutely overwhelmed.

The whole process, Rhod, has been incredible.

What an amazing bunch they were. There were all sorts.

-I didn't see eye to eye with...

-Particularly who?

-Well!

One of them at the start, but as the process went on, I bonded so well.

What was the best thing about the whole thing for you?

I just think you learn so much about your inner self. The good points...

-About your inner self?! Wow!

-Yeah!

There's things I've never known before, anything like that.

You knew your name, you knew you were in sausages.

-You said in the taxi, you're feeling upbeat?

-Really upbeat.

-I couldn't be more positive.

-You do know you've been fired though?

-I do!

Obviously, thinking about it, I could've gone further,

but who knows? I just did my very best, Rhod, absolutely.

-Can I just say, you're adorable. You really are!

-Thank you!

There was a point in the boardroom where you just went,

"I sold all my fudge."

LAUGHTER

I thought, oh, my God! It was like watching a little puppy!

-JAMIE:

-I think killing with kindness is the way forward.

That's what I always think. I don't think you have to be mean.

You can be a soft-nosed businessman.

Honesty's the best policy! Honesty's the best policy, by a long way.

And then play your strategy, but don't just kill everyone.

Can I just...

Can I just rest for a moment on the phrase "soft-nosed businessman"?

That's one of the loveliest ways of putting it,

-you're a soft-nosed businessman.

-Thanks, Rhod. Very good compliment.

Because you can imagine in a meeting

just going up to somebody and going, honk.

LAUGHTER

I think everybody's gutted that you're out.

I think the nation, you captured the hearts of the nation.

I think, from what everyone's seen,

they were all expecting me to come back.

I was talking about the public in general,

but, yeah, everybody in the house, they said, A, they said, we hope

you come back, but I think they thought you'd come back.

They all really, really loved me. I mean, if I was Lord Sugar...

LAUGHTER

(You can't say that!)

You have to let me say that.

And then you go, "Oh, no, no!"

Let's try it again. They all really loved you in the house?

-I think they did, Rhod.

-No, no!

LAUGHTER

So, this week's sweet task saw Alana's team surf to victory

and bring home the bonbons,

while Ollie's team got into difficulty and were left

looking like a right bunch of sherbet dip dabs.

Let's see where it all went wrong.

OK, guys. Great to be working with you all.

I think we've all agreed that the rock is the most desirable.

This is terrible, man.

He was running around the kitchen like a headless chicken.

So, erm...

-Come over here.

-I'm going to come over here.

I'm still confused as to the strategy.

Particularly on pricing.

Three for something?

-I thought five...

-Three for six.

-Two for... Sorry?

-Three for six.

£3.

£2.50, or £4 for the handmade fudge.

That's three quid each.

-Just make some decisions.

-OK.

I do think I did enough as a project manager.

You can't be in two places at once.

You're fired.

GULP

Do you think your products were the main problem?

-No.

-Really?

-Very much disagree. I mean it...

-Do you?

I mean, Jamie will know, you want something which is quirky today.

People don't really like change, they like to try...

They like flavours that they know.

If you do salt and vinegar, I don't think it'll work.

We've tried loads of different flavours that just don't work.

I know you're trying to be quirky, trying to be different,

and trying to stand out from the crowd.

But at the same time, to just stand with the crowd but be better

-than the crowd, I think that's better.

-We've got the product.

-The proof is in the...

-Erm...!

..sweet. Candy, in this case.

You've agreed to do a blind taste test.

Perhaps unwisely. But I'm going to give you your blindfolds.

If you'd like to pass those down. Pick a blindfold.

Pass those along.

So what we're going to do is try...

I've got both teams', to be fair. Both teams'.

I know. I did not buy those, I apologise.

Well, my mother will be delighted at this, I tell you. Right.

So get your blindfolds on, and I'm going to get the products out.

They are comfy, I could go to sleep.

I can't help thinking this is some form of sinister game

that's being set up.

Trust me.

First of all, this is...

Don't read it out, don't read it out. You can all see that at home.

This is what Susan's going to be testing.

So I'm going to plonk that there. You take that, Oliver.

We might need this for this particular product, I'm afraid.

That's seen better days!

Yes, this has seen better days, and quite honestly,

this hasn't really stood the test of time or travelled that well.

Let's have a look.

If you just do that a little bit, jiggle that about a bit.

That's it, perfect. OK. We'll pop that there.

It hasn't travelled that well?

That doesn't sound particularly good.

Erm, don't you worry about it.

Sorry, I forgot the blindfolds don't cover your ears as well.

So this is what Konnie's going to be trying,

this particular little beauty.

Pop these on, Ollie, don't want any...

Health and safety at work!

What did he say?!

Is he putting on safety equipment?!

There we go, we'll just tuck into a bit...

I haven't got anything in front of me.

-JAMIE:

-Are you hammering it?

-No...

Is there anything in front of me that I should be eating?

What gives you that impression?

-Pop that one in front of you...

-They were made with such skill!

My work of art!

OK, and finally, we've got - oh, dear - Jamie's.

Oh...

LAUGHTER

What is it? What have you got?

Oh, Lord!

This is, this is what we're looking at here,

it's on the floor at the moment, but...

-Shall I pick it up for you?

-Three-second rule, Ollie.

Three-second rule!

That's all right.

APPLAUSE

Are you licking it?

That's... That certainly helped.

If you've licked it...

No, it was just a bit of blowing.

Right, let's get these over to our panel, Oliver.

I'll take these two, you grab that furthest one. OK?

So I will take this one, goes to Susan, on the end.

That's it, keep your hands out the way.

I'll put them right in front of you.

There you go, just pop that description there.

OK, this is...

That's for Konnie, that one, Oliver, if you could... That's it.

If you could pop the card next to it as well.

This is like SAS training.

We can take these off now, I think it's safe. I think it's safe.

So, your time starts...

now.

Do I...? Ah!

I don't know what I'm eating!

Ugh!

That's kind of the point, Jamie.

That is the point of a blind taste test.

That's it.

Susan's found a method.

-Konnie, you all right there?

-Yeah!

I've got a pillow.

-You're going for more?

-Uh-huh! I like it.

LAUGHTER

And your time's up! OK, stop licking the plate now, please.

Plenty of sucking and slurping noises, that's good.

Jamie, what do you think that you tasted there?

Apart from a bit of floor, grit

and possibly a bit of Ollie's breath.

I... I mean...

That was, it was fudge.

LAUGHTER

Jamie does know his sweets.

-Purveyor of gourmet candy, Jamie Laing.

-Or caramel!

-He knows...

-Caramel or fudge!

-Sorry? Fudge?

-Caramel.

-OK, you've got...

-What is it?

-Caramel.

-Caramel!

But they're the same thing, aren't they?

-No!

-No!

You make sweets!

Jamie, why are you turning to somebody else with a blindfold on?

LAUGHTER

What do you think the flavour was, very quickly, Jamie?

-Very quickly, the flavour?

-Caramel.

-Caramel fudge, you've gone for. OK.

Jamie, let's take your blindfold off, let's have a look at what

-you've got. Hold it there, hang on a second.

-What...?

What is that?

Have a look at the card.

-Ice cream rock is what you have.

-What?!

-No!

-The proof was in the pudding!

-Surely not!

Is it? Maybe it is.

-Konnie, what do you think it was that you were tasting?

-Apple pillow.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen... APPLAUSE

Take the blindfold off, Konnie, look at that!

And, Susan, what do you think you were delighting in?

Well, it was a light dusting of something.

I feel I didn't quite get the full portion of whatever it was.

To me, this is definitely a fudge-based product.

I'm going to say the cappuccino fudge,

but I don't know if it is that. But it's definitely a fudge.

OK, did you like the flavour?

Do you know, it was...

..yes, I do, actually.

OK, whip your blindfold off there, Susan,

-have a look at what it was that you were tasting.

-Oh!

-It was the infamous salt and vinegar fudge.

-Not a chance!

Big round of applause for our panel for braving the taste test.

APPLAUSE

Well, it wasn't just my guests

who enjoyed trying the candidates' efforts.

I've dug out a bit of unseen footage where Karren gives it a try.

-Would you like to try one?

-Yeah, I'll try one.

-OK.

Is that your bin?

LAUGHTER

Mmm, it's the opposite of moreish. Whatever that is.

Let's talk about the brand a little bit.

Suck It And See.

You're our resident expert, Jamie.

In 2012, you launched your gourmet candy,

-it's gone into all the big shops and department stores.

-Mmm-hmm.

Suck It And See, how well did they do with the branding, the name?

I wasn't too convinced with the name.

What did you think, did you like the name, Suck It And See?

I wasn't convinced with that.

Also, I think, I'm a big believer in brand over product.

So you're saying it's branding over product.

-So the brand's more important?

-No...

Yeah, actually, I do say that.

I think product's obviously important,

it has to taste good, it has to taste great, but I think that,

if you get the branding down to an absolute perfect point,

and people love the brand, you can sell anything.

Basically, there's a lot of good product...

Absolutely, I agree so much with Jamie. Branding is taking over.

So why did you go for Suck It And See then?

LAUGHTER

That executive decision had been made...

Oliver...

You know I'm practically in love with you, Oliver.

But that...!

Just imagine, a normal person,

walking along the streets of Brighton, and a man shouts...

You've come with your children to the beach.

Yes, I have three imaginary children...

And they're quite young...

And they're quite young children, very well-behaved.

And we're walking down the lanes of Brighton, and a man,

who I do not know, shouts, "Suck It And See," at me.

LAUGHTER

That is not a good situation.

Jamie, just while we've got you on the subject of branding,

-have you got your brand tattooed on you somewhere?

-Yeah.

So, I basically got my brand tattooed on me.

But, what happened was, we just rebranded, and we don't use...

LAUGHTER

The logo's gone! So I've just got something random on my hip.

-Can we see it?

-You want to see it?

-Yeah!

He shouted that from the audience!

CHEERING

Oh, God.

Look at his two phones!

-I can't remember what side...! It's this side.

-You don't even know?

-You ready?

-I'm ready, yeah.

There it is.

APPLAUSE

Why didn't you get it crossed out and put the new brand then?

Because the new brand just says Candy Kitten,

-so it's the same, pretty much. There's no logo.

-It's already there.

You could just Tipp-Ex the top bit out.

Oliver, would you have Suck It And See tattooed on your body?

LAUGHTER

I can see it with Jamie, but no, I wouldn't, I certainly wouldn't!

APPLAUSE

It's obviously too late for you, Oliver,

but we thought we'd give the remaining candidates

a chance to learn from the mistakes made on this week's task

in this helpful instructional video tape.

Try and pick a product that will prove a crowd-pleaser.

-Strawberry and champagne.

-Mmm!

'Apparently, it's delicious.'

These are apple-flavoured pillow sweets.

They're genuinely nice.

What we have here is some salt and vinegar fudge.

Great Scott, you've really fudged that one up.

Lord Sugar has no time for slackers.

Roll up your sleeves and get stuck into every task.

My arm is literally about to fall off.

Making taffy!

That's my workout for the day.

I think...

I think I need to take off the glove.

Not that kind of stuck in, Dillon.

You plum.

Draw in the crowds by putting on a bit of a show.

Come and get your pillows, strawberry and champagne! One pound!

Some lovely toffee and strawberry sweets,

they're absolutely delicious.

Suck it! Who wants to suck it?!

I say, steady on, Karthik, old boy!

APPLAUSE

He was brilliant.

Let's move on.

So we've talked about the product, we've talked about the branding.

The other thing, I think, that, perhaps,

went wrong, maybe, on this task - or certainly, Lord Sugar said,

that you were indecisive, is that fair?

-Well, I'm Libra, Rhod, so...

-I'm a Libra as well!

-Are you?

Generally, we... Yeah, generally, we can never make our minds up.

LAUGHTER

Generally, we can never make our minds up. I was dithering, I know.

I bonded well with those candidates, a lot of them.

-But you were dithering?

-I was dithering.

-You were dithery.

-I was faffing around.

-You were faffing, dithering...

-Yeah, yeah.

A dithery faffer.

You were. You would admit that, you were a dithery faffer?

Yeah, I would. I would a little bit. But I've got a good business acumen.

As Claude went on to go and say.

Konnie, do you think that Oliver's indecisiveness, indecision,

-caused the failure of this task? Was it that?

-It was.

Because, in an Apprentice scenario, when you've got all these

people vying for attention, the PM has to not faff or dither.

But, maybe in your business, where you're surrounded by the people that

you know and you've picked, maybe it works just to have your personality.

And your team, to be fair, didn't help you a lot.

They weren't really particularly helpful,

especially in the pricing aspect of it, which was...

As we all know, from The Apprentice, pricing is key.

And you went into it without a strategy,

and I really don't think your team helped you very much.

Pricing, they were all over the shop.

Whether it was three for six, two for a pound, seven for three,

don't get anything for a pair in this game, it was...

At one point, it was three for "something".

Before you sell things...

..you need to know how much they are. I mean, it's a very simple...

This is from, like, olden times.

Do you know what's most important is, that you,

as a team leader - again, we're going back to this -

the most important thing, I think, is team, right?

If you can have, again, you can have branding and product,

but your team is the most important.

If all the team are on board with what you're selling,

and the price and everything's on point, then it works.

If everyone's going around and trying to sell...

Because, basically, what was happening was that every

single person was out for themselves.

How much was it the trade team?

Aleksandra and Mukai, failing to sell to trade? How much was that...?

-A huge amount.

-Aleksandra went in to make a sale, didn't have any idea.

You've got to go in and at least know what your mark-up is and what

you're selling to and what your profit will be.

She went in, and then Mukai had to tell her,

which was really embarrassing for her.

-They were fantastic at undercutting each other.

-Absolutely.

I mean, if it was buying, they'd have been awesome.

But they were selling, unfortunately,

but they were undercutting, undercutting...

They made a deal - this is what I mean -

they made a deal for a certain price,

went back with more stuff and sold it for less than the original deal.

I mean, it's ridiculous.

Who's caught your eye, Susan, this week?

Well, I mean, Paul has, for a number of reasons.

Mainly because I think he is a very imposing presence,

who is controlling a lot of what is going on.

I don't think he wanted to help you, particularly, Oliver.

I think he wanted to be there...

I think he did a little bit, in the beginning, in manufacturing.

Darling, darling, darling...?

Think of this as an intervention, sweetie.

Just sit for a second, all right?

Have a sit on my knee.

We want nothing but the best.

Just listen for a second.

He was wanting to be with you so that he could...

Stitch me up.

..see what you are doing, back away, come back in and blame you,

go away again.

He wanted to be with you so he could blame you and not help you.

He could have helped you, and he didn't,

because he's playing a really interesting game,

where he's picking people off,

I think, who he thinks that he can control.

Now, you're so sweet...

-Aw!

-..that even now, after watching the programme...

I've come out to live the tale!

..and having an entire audience saying Paul stitched you up,

you still go, "Oh, no, he's a nice guy."

Let's talk about the project manager for the other team on this, Alana.

Jamie, you...?

-I thought Alana was good.

-Yeah.

-I liked Alana.

I thought that she was strong.

I thought she had a good idea, and, yeah, I liked her.

I think she's really impressive, I agree.

But she let her emotions get the better of her.

And I think, to me,

that's a red flag to the alpha males

who want to take her out of the process.

That's what Paul and Mukai,

they should've taken a time-out break for a minute or two and then

come back in, not just started arguing in the middle of the task.

Well, Alana's experience as a baker helped her lead the team to

a decisive victory in the kitchen.

But during the process, she certainly felt the heat.

Now, Alana, you need to be the project manager on this task.

KLAXON

The whole machine seems to be broken.

Alana, we can't use this batch,

it's come out too light.

KLAXON

We need you here, it's mad busy.

I need to go back to the hotel

and grab the last box of toffee.

No, we need you here.

Do not go to the hotel, that's a waste of time.

BLEEP.

KLAXON

Being project manager is so stressful.

Claude, perhaps you'd like to

rattle off Titan's figures.

Total profit of £785.66.

Titans, you've done it.

It was a really amazing task, and I'm super-happy.

STEAM ESCAPING

APPLAUSE

She does, she does... Her face is very expressive.

-She says a lot without words.

-She's really impressive.

I think she's another one that's really impressive.

And I think the way she ran the team was great.

Well, unfortunately, Oliver, to everyone's dismay,

Lord Sugar won't be investing in you,

but he does have this little bit of advice for your future.

Oliver's persona was very nice. Very polite.

And also, he had a very interesting business,

in his Cumberland sausages.

I think, if you had to summarise

where Oliver went wrong, it's indecisiveness.

And I think he just lost control of it,

and he lost the respect of his team-mates.

I think what Oliver needs to do is to -

and I say this respectfully -

is kind of man up a bit.

In other words, stick to something,

make decisions, be decisive,

and back yourself.

Have confidence, a bit more self-confidence,

that's what he needs.

I think, if he overcomes that

deliberation and pontification,

he's going to be a very successful businessperson.

Nice words.

I'm sure he'd also tell you not to mow people down on a tricycle.

Karren almost got mowed down! She was absolutely in hysterics.

You looked like a cross between Willy Wonka and Ben Hur.

That's what you looked like.

-Good advice there, though? Some nice words?

-Yeah, really good.

I'm going to continue to follow on with my business plan,

-grow it in the UK, Cumbrian sausage company.

-So your plan is...

It's something like Jamie's business.

-..expand your sausage empire?

-Exactly, yeah.

So, Lord Sugar made his decision, Oliver,

but do our panel feel it was the right one?

Jamie?

I think he made the wrong decision.

(Thanks, Jamie.)

Is that all right? Can I say that?

Yeah, yeah!

You can, but why, very briefly?

Because I feel that Oliver is...

I think you could be a leader.

You have the right mentality to run a brand and create

a brand and build things. I also think you're a team player,

which I think is the most important thing when it comes to a brand.

-Konnie?

-I think he made the wrong decision, because

there were people that should've been fired over and above you.

And like you say, it was your sub-team's fault, not yours.

And they had their own leader to lead them.

Susan?

I think he made the right decision,

because I don't think you should change one jot.

I think you should ignore Lord Sugar, don't you dare change.

And I think you're better off out of this process,

doing what you want to do. Because you're such a sweet guy

that I think this process would have ruined you.

So I think he made the right decision...

LAUGHTER

I think he made the right decision, but not...

I think people should have been fired in front of you,

but I think, for you - and I have spent little time with you,

but I care about you so deeply...

-Do you think we all should have been fired?

-Yes!

That would've been the fairest thing.

I think, if I'd been Lord Sugar, I'd have fired all of us.

If you'd been Lord Sugar, you'd have fired everybody?

No! In that room.

In that room.

-Oh, the three of you?

-The three of you - three of us.

-I think we all probably had a part to play.

-Aw!

OK, our panel, by a margin of two to one,

think that the wrong decision was made.

Let's see what our audience make of it.

Audience, if you agree with Lord Sugar,

and Ollie should have been fired, hold up Fired.

If you disagree, could you hold up Hired now, please.

Oh, it's mixed!

I imagine you're seeing green, but it's red.

LAUGHTER

It's red, it is red.

Unfortunately, the audience disagree with our panel,

and thought you should've been fired.

So, Oliver, nobody goes away from You're Fired empty-handed.

Everyone loved your sweet-natured personality,

and so you can remember your time on The Apprentice: You're Fired,

we've got you what we have christened the Ollie Lolly.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

-Isn't that nice?

-It's really good!

That is a genuine, unique, the only one in the world...

-It's really, really good!

-Treat it gently.

Treat yourself gently there.

You may find those flavours - I think it's strawberry and lemon

and things - you may find them a bit bland.

That'll take absolute years to eat, wow. I think it's...

We thought we'd get you this, in case you found the flavours a bit...

LAUGHTER

-In case you found the flavours a bit bland.

-Very good, very good.

That is all yours.

Oliver, thanks for leaving Sausage Land to come on the show,

we hope you've enjoyed it.

Let's have a look at your highlights.

Everyone knows me as Sausage Ollie or Sausage Man.

Are you Porkos, Greek god of sausages?

I think everybody had a soft spot for Oliver.

Oliver's one of them people,

as soon as you see his little face, you just smile.

Group hug, aw!

I'm not a Del Boy from the East End!

But I like selling at markets.

-Is that a deal?

-That's a deal.

-Brilliant.

-What should I do, Oliver?

-Suck it and see!

This process requires somebody

who's a little cold-blooded at times.

Oliver was the warmest-blooded person I've seen.

He had the warmest heart.

I want to sell, sell, sell.

Come and get your candy!

Roll up, roll up!

# With me little stick of Blackpool rock. #

Ladies and gentlemen, Oliver Nohl-Oser!

APPLAUSE

If you want to see more of The Apprentice, head over to...

Where you can watch exclusive clips and find out

everything you need to know about this year's series.

Next week, our candidates will battle it out

on the shiniest of shop floors - a personal shopping task,

with all the fun of the department store.

For your next task, each team will run a personal shopping service.

This is what I do. Selling on the shop floor is what I've been doing.

Can I tempt you?

What is money compared to happiness?

It's not rocket science, we are going to win this.

I think it could go disastrously wrong.

That could end up being an absolute car crash.

I don't get it!

There's literally no-one here.

That's really lovely.

Absolutely hideous.

OK, that's a bit of a shock.

But I think they look good.

I have no clue what I'm doing here.

Hello!

That is so cool!

Wow, really exciting stuff.

Smashed it!

Shh, shh! Not appropriate in a shop.

Who will reign supreme on the high street,

and who'll end up in the bargain bin?

Join me, next Thursday at ten for more You're Fired.

Good night.

APPLAUSE