Episode 17 The Graham Norton Show

On the show tonight: The star of an An Officer and a Gentleman, where a

Plain Jane, who has given up on romance is swept off her feet by a

hunky man in uniform. I mean, seriously, as if that could

happen?! LAUGHTER Let's start the Oh, oh! Oh!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh! Oh! Oh! Fantastic! Oh! Thank

you very much. I must remember to send flowers! LAUGHTER Welcome all.

What an exciting couch tonight. Hollywood legend, Richard Gere, is

on the show. CHEERING I know. Star of Hanna, Atonement and The Lovely

Bones, Saoirse Ronan is on the show. Yes, she is. APPLAUSE It's a

welcome back for Con Air and In The Line of Fire star, John Malkovich

is here. APPLAUSE That's not all. Later on, we will be having music

from the fantastic Taylor Swift, everybody.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I know. On this show, over there! Oh. What a

line-up! Thrilled to welcome Richard Gere back. Just on the show.

Famous for An Officer and a Gentleman, of course. Oh. APPLAUSE

Yes. A man in uniform. When is that not sexy? Huh?! LAUGHTER Richard

has starred in many great films, Pretty Woman, American Gigolo and

First Knight. There he is on his trusty horse, Ready Meal! LAUGHTER

It's already wrapped in foil! It is oven ready! A big welcome to my

Irish compatriot, Saoirse Ronan. APPLAUSE What a lovely actress. She

starred in Hanna as a 15-year-old. Such a good movie. Look at her

there. They grow up so fast. One minute they are watching Peppa Pig,

the next they are blowing someone's brains out. Of course, she was

Oscar nominated for her role in Atonement. That's her as the young

Briony Tallis. In the film you see her character as an old woman.

There she is. I wonder what I'll look like when I'm really old.

LAUGHTER Hey, let's get some guests on! CHEERING Later, we will have

music and chat from Taylor Swift. APPLAUSE But first, time for a

dangerous liaison, it is John Malkovich. APPLAUSE John Malkovich.

APPLAUSE She's got lovely bones, it is Saoirse Ronan. Oh! APPLAUSE

Hello, lovely lady. Sit yourself down. And Mr Richard Gere!

# Love lift us up # Where we belong... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE So nice to meet you.

# Love lift us up # Where we belong... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE # Love lift us up

Oh my God! Is he coming back?!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh! I filled ten minutes then!

know. It is great. Sit yourself down. Oh dear. Join me next week

when my guests include... Just 45 minutes of clapping! What a weird

show! Actors don't like that(!) Welcome all to the couch. Sonali

Shah -- Saoirse Ronan, that's how they say it? Yes. In Ireland,

people say it differently. I don't think I pronounce my name the

correct way. I say Saoirse, but people say you are saying that

wrong. John, are you hearing the subtle difference?! I'm wondering

what she says when they tell her she says her name wrong?! Your

middle name is unexpected, Richard? Something is going to happen now, I

know. LAUGHTER Nothing bad. Your middle name is Tiffany? It is

Tiffany. LAUGHTER What is so funny about that?! LAUGHTER It's not THE

Tiffany's! This was my mother's side. Her maiden name is Tiffany.

It came through Belgium somehow. I'm guessing you kept that quiet in

school? I almost used it as my stage name. No?! Richard Tiffany --

Gere. -- Richard Tiffany - Gere. Richard, you are on presenting

duties. You have been reunited with the cast of Chicago? That's true.

Are you singing? No, we are just presenting. That is very nice of

you. In Chicago you were snubbed...? Thank you so much for

bringing that up(!) Were you sitting by the phone thinking,

"Surely, I will."? We were opening in Paris and we were in the same

hotel, I can't remember what hotel, but we were next to each other and

the - I don't know what time it would have been - in LA they were

making the announcements. All the doors were open because we were

going off to do interviews and stuff. So we could hear it down the

hallway. This one gets nominated. That one gets nominated. That one

gets nominated. I did feel - and it went right past me! LAUGHTER That

one got nominated. The next one got nominated. The movie got nominated.

Photography got nominated. You are probably talked about the most

because you didn't get nominated! Every cloud! Then, Saoirse, you are

13, nominated for an Oscar, which is an amazing thing. You pop on

your frock, off you go, now it's - oh! That's a while ago. It seems

cruel to do that to a 13-year-old girl and not give you the prize.

know. Did you have a big tantrum? threw my shoes off! I was 13 at the

time so it was - it was the first- ever awards ceremony I went to. It

was lovely. I knew I wasn't going to win. Tilda Swinton won. She is

all right?! She was good as the White Witch. John, you have been

nominated twice. Did you go both times? Did you like it? I missed

the second one, Graham. The first one I went, all I really remember

of it, it was at the Pavilion then, which has an enormous foyer. It was

just about eight or ten people with massive kind of snow shovels

following the elephants from Passage to India, wo were doing

their -- who were doing their thing in the foyer. LAUGHTER While

waiting to go on stage, the elephant. And that's really all I

remember about it. That's showbusiness! Now, going back to

awards, congratulations, Richard, Golden Globe Best Actor nomination

for Arbitrage. Thank you. Out March 1st. The movie is excellent. Thanks.

The story, it is not based on the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme. Is it

inspired by that? No, it is that world for sure. It's not Bernie.

When we started to make the film, he was the poster boy for

everything wrong with the financial world. But this character is not a

socio-path like John would have played. LAUGHTER Not only would I

have played it, I invested with him! Oh no. Did you invest

early...? You were one of the guys that made money? No! LAUGHTER But

the odd thing is that your character - he appeared to be a

villain, but he's rather sympathetic. He is not one of those

guys. He is a very powerful - he's got the money, the plane, the car,

everything is in place. We deconstruct him in the process of

the movie. He's made some very bad financial bets. Now he has to fix

it. As you saw the movie, some other things happen which also put

pressure on the man. There is a ticking clock. He has to fix

everything quickly and in the process we see what is inside this

guy. My job in this was to make him a human being and not a villain

with a a capital V. I never met a simple person in my life. Well,

there are some! LAUGHTER We have a clip, Richard. This is a scene with

you and your daughter, she's discovered at this point what you

have been doing. Thanks to you, we may all be arrested. No-one is

getting arrested. That is why I borrowed the money from Jeffrey.

Plugged the hole, they see the books are fine, transfer the

company, I pay back Jeffrey with interest, I make all of our

investors whole and what's left we keep. Everybody wins? Yes. If we

sell the company? If I lie for you? We don't have to lie. What do you

think they will say at the deposition, she didn't know?! They

will take away my brokerage licence. What do you want me to do? Did you

want me to let our investors go bankrupt? You wanted people to get

really hurt? What gives you the audacity to think...? It is my job!

It is illegal. It is illegal. I am your partner. You are not my

partner. You work for me. That's right, you work for me. Everybody

works for me. APPLAUSE Oh. You are so good in this film. Really good.

Thanks. I read in one interview you were talking about this film is

almost like a riposte to how money is seen in Pretty Woman? I never

said that. Did you not? Everyone tries to get me to say that. Sorry.

Is it because at the time of Pretty Woman you were talking about how

you were nervous of how it did say if you have money it is all fine?

don't know what you are talking about! In reading old interviews,

in preparing - I prepare - talking about Pretty Woman at the time. I

remember you saying you were nervous of how - it basically said

if you have the cash, it is a panacea? No. I don't know what you

are talking about. Can I borrow a pen? It is like a fictitious biog

has been passed to me. I don't know where this is coming from. I don't

know either. Keep trying. Shall I keep trying? Yes, please. Because

of the way films came out in Ireland, they take ages to come out.

In one weekend, I remember I went to see American Gigolo and An

Officer and a Gentleman in one weekend. Wow. I knew your body

better than my own at the end of it! CHEERING This was Ireland. Oh

my God! I wish I still had that body! It is in there! In American

Gigolo, is it true the suits were, they were made for John Travolta?

No. No. No, what happened... Were you in An Officer and a Gentleman?

Yes. Yes. You can stop now. You have a yes. We are back on track.

You have been in all these iconic films. So you are famous presumably

all over the world? Is it Borneo, this is another one of these that

is going to be no, I have never been to Borneo! I never intend to

go to Borneo. I didn't know that country existed. I have never heard

of Borneo! Did you go to Borneo? This is true. Thank God for that!

Graham Norton, ladies and gentlemen! Take a bow! Ladies and

gentlemen. I'm so sorry. It is not normally like this. Someone will be

fired! They are hiding. They are gone! You did go to Borneo? This is

- do you want the long story or the short story? How much time do we

have? We have just cut a lot of questions there, so we are nearing

the end now! Shall I go to the audience again? CHEERING No, no. Do

that later. I'm in Borneo and I found a flight that got me to the

capital of Borneo. I arranged with a missionary pilot to take me all

the way into the centre, way up into the jungle. So we went up

there and it was just before the monsoon, which - I could stretch

this story out. This could go forever. This is a dinner story.

Can we order dinner for everybody here?

AUDIENCE: Yes! I haven't told this story fully in about five years.

I'm willing to do it. Let's go. Pizza for everybody! Who is

ordering? So we flew into this very short strip and it was a one-prop

plane, me and my Brazilian girlfriend and it slammed right

down. We had 100 feet for this to happen and it was one of the few

pilots who could do it. We got off. It was along a river. The tribe

that have bones, the flesh of the ears were hanging down, they were

naked, a dug-out canoe, so the missionary pilot has to take off.

We are left there. We go up river, we come to this longhouse and it is

all hand gestures and whatever and we start to walk up to the

longhouse and the whole tribe comes out and they start going, "An

Officer and a Gentleman! An Officer and a Gentleman!" That's a true

story. APPLAUSE When the pizza comes, I will tell you how we got

out of there! John, you kind of shunned the limelight and I sort of

get it because was it you found a woman in your garden once, is that

right? Yes. Yes. A very big woman. And was dressed maybe a little too

provocatively and I was at our house in France and I was talking

to my producing partner out in Los Angeles and I turned around and

there was this kind of like a Michelin woman about... LAUGHTER

She wanted to be my assistant and I said I didn't think that was a good

idea. And then she said she also wanted me to read her screenplay.

And I looked at the title of it which had kind of looked like it

had been maybe scratched in with a bloody nail, or the claw of a

hammer. LAUGHTER And it was in French and it meant she kills. I

thought - I said that seems very interesting. What's it about? She

explained that it was about an out of work woman who kills a well-

known actor. LAUGHTER Saoirse, because every time we see you in a

movie you have grown up so you look incredibly different every time we

see you. Do you get recognised that much? I don't really, to be honest.

I do in Ireland. I think... Everybody knew you anyway, it is a

small country! Graham and I are cousins! I mean, outside of Ireland,

not so much. Every now and again, I would get people who will come up

to me abroad and they will ask me to sign an autograph with my face

on it and I'm signing it and they are, "So what films are you in?"

What have you done? Why have you printed out my face?! So I have got

that quite a bit. Nobody knows who I am. Stop it! I don't mind. Don't

encourage her. It is going to change. You are in The Host which

is the new movie from the writer of the Twilight series. Yes. This is

going to be huge. It might be, yeah. There is a lot of buzz around it,

which has been exciting. Do they sit you down and talk to you about

what is going to happen when this movie hits? Have you met the

Twilight kids? I haven't. I went to the last premiere in LA. I didn't

get to talk to them. I didn't meet any of them. They had to fly off

somewhere else. They were rude and unfriendly, that is what you are

saying! I didn't want to meet them then. They were up themselves. Good

luck, Twilight cast! You are not in The Host. They are finished!

Twilight, the sun has set! It is night now! I didn't get to meet

them. That's all right. In this movie, you play two people, but

they are both, they share your body? Yes. So, basically, it's

about our planet being taken over by aliens. Keep going. It is good,

honestly. It is a movie. It is not real. They are taken over by these

foreign bodies and their goal is to perfect any planet that they

inhabit so when they come to Earth what they do is they will capture a

human and they put a soul inside of them and the soul takes over the

human body so I play the host of the body and the soul and it was

great, like, there were loads of scenes where I got to talk to

myself the whole time! It was great. The Host opens on 29th March. We

have a taster clip of your character and the movie. Barely a

bone not broken, or organ ruptured. When we occupy this host, her

memories will lead us to the resistance. Her name is Melanie

Stryder. Her family escaped the initial waves of colonisatin.

is happening? It is important you stay in control of this host.

God! Good driving. Pretty intense. The action sequences, are you

action-ready after all the training you did for Hanna? I don't have

much action to do in The Host. I like doing that kind of stuff. I

like training for films beforehand physically and... Hanna - you were

fighting Eric Bana? He is huge. I had been training and got into the

martial arts. We started to do our choreography every day. He was

holding back and I really went for it. According to him, I was

surprisingly strong. I did punch him a few times in the face. Which

he was a bit shocked by. Yes. happened a few times. I probably

took advantage of it because I knew he was going to hold back and I

wasn't going to. Instinct took over. I knew. He said you were very good

at the punching? Yes, apart from the times that I hit him in the

face. Can you show us a fake punch? An air movie punch? Yes. What kind

of a punch? I don't know. If you punch my face, why am I suggesting

this?! If I - if you do a... Shall I do a cross? You need to get into

your stance. You look really scared. I am! Bend your knees a bit. You

ready? Yes. I'm not doing anything? No. You need to react to it. You

will get punched. One, two, three... Argh! I nearly broke my back there!

Very good. Talking of action, and I'm hesitant to ask Richard a

question because it is probably not true. It is not true. In An Officer

and a Gentleman, it looked like you did all... Pick up Debra Winger.

definitely did that. All the press- ups, did you do all that? You do it

the first take, right? You do 100 push-ups, second one you do 50.

Then on the third or fourth, you start at 90 and you go 91, 92...

The fourth take you call your agent! Talking of action. John you

have finished filming Red 2 where you are all retired - sorry. It

does look like there was a fire and you had to grab the first thing.

Yes. Is that a plot point? Yes. Because - does that change the

stunts they write for you? There is is a limit to what a lot of us can

achieve stunt-wise. Like if we can walk to the car, we feel OK. We are

like we really nailed that one! We still shoot well. Yes. Mary, Louise

and I had a fantastic scene where there is a car chase and the car

Mary-Louise is driving keeps being hit so they are spinning around in

circles. At the end of this sequence, we were able to vomit out

the window in tandem. For us, that's a stunt. That classifies you

getting hazard pay. That makes me want to see the film, that one

scene. I hope it will be fun. thing is, on-screen, you seem like

a very intense actor. You wear it quite lightly, I think. Was it

Places of the Heart where you were playing a blind man and the

director expected you to do a lot of research? Yes, they asked me to

go really every day to the Lighthouse for the Blind in Dallas

and I went once and talked to a couple of people. But all the other

days I was looking for a used car. Then when Robert said to me one day,

"We are going to shoot the scene where this character I played where

he reads Braille "and I said, "OK." Then my then wife, who happened to

be in the room, said, "I bet he doesn't know how to read Braille."

And they said, "But of course he knows he's been going to the

Lighthouse for the Blind every day." Then my wife said, "I bet he

went once." Then they said, "That's not true, is it?" I said, "Yes, it

is absolutely true." Then they said, "You were going every day." I said,

"But not to the Lighthouse for the Blind. I was going to look for a

used car." Then they said, "You do know how to read Braille, don't

you?" "Of course not." "What are we going to do?" "Call someone who

reads Braille and then just tell me." I'm supposed to fly a jet

plane in Red. You don't want me to fly a jet plane. I don't have time

to learn how to do that. It's dangerous for the passengers.

might have done that once, but he is the actor who learns how to do

stuff, that is for sure. Some I do. It depends. If it is a skill you

want to learn. It doesn't depend on that. It depends on if it is

important for what is going to be seen in a frame. Then, of course,

you have to learn to do all kinds of stuff. If it doesn't really

matter, you know, like fly a jet. Drive a car. LAUGHTER Richard, what

you did for Looking for Mr Goodbar, that sounded extreme? What did I

do? The character had lost everything. Who told you this

stuff?! Where is your researcher? This sounds true. You lost

everything and you had $1,000... This is true. Thank you very much.

This is 40 years ago. You are going way back. I wouldn't know this crap

either but I happened to read it! didn't have any money. I might have

had 1,200 bucks to my name. The character had lost everything. I

went to Las Vegas and played Black Jack and lost everything. I knew

what it was like to have lost everything. I did not have a penny

to my name. What would have happened if you had won? I would

have kept playing until I lost. That definitely would happen.

is how that works. How did you get home? That's another story. Listen,

it is time for music. This singer has won multiple Grammy Awards,

sold millions of records and is one of the biggest singing stars in the

world right now. Performing I Knew You Were Trouble, it is Taylor

Swift. # Once upon a time a few mistakes

# I was in your sights, you got me alone

# You found me, you found me, you found me

# I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that

# And when I fell hard you took a step back

# Without me, without me, without # And he's long gone when he's next

to me # And I realise the blame is on me

# 'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in

# So shame on me now # Flew me to places I'd never been

# 'Til you put me down, oh # I knew you were trouble when you

walked in # So shame on me now

# Flew me to places I'd never been # Now I'm lying on the cold hard

ground # Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

# No apologies, he'll never see you # Pretend he doesn't know that he's

the reason why # You're drowning, you're drowning,

you're drowning # Now I heard you moved on from

whispers on the street # A new notch in your belt is all

I'll ever be # And now I see, now I see, now I

# He was long gone when he met me # And I realise the joke is on me,

yeah! # I knew you were trouble when you

walked in # So shame on me now

# Flew me to places I'd never been # 'Til you put me down, oh

# I knew you were trouble when you walked in

# So shame on me now # Flew me to places I'd never been

# Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

# Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble # And the saddest fear comes

creeping in # That you never loved me or her,

or anyone, or anything, yeah # I knew you were trouble when you

walked in # So shame on me now

# Flew me to places I'd never been # 'Til you put me down, oh

# I knew you were trouble when you walked in

# So shame on me now # Flew me to places I'd never been

# Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

# Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble # I knew you were trouble when you

walked in # Trouble, trouble, trouble

# I knew you were trouble when you walked in

# Trouble, trouble, trouble. # CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh! Taylor Swift, everybody. Come and join us. Taylor Swift. Oh.

Hello, my dear. Hi. Thank you. How are you? So nice to meet you. A

huge fan of yours. Richard you know. Richard has been up and dancing.

Can you sit down again? No. You all right? I'm fine. Taylor Swift, that

single is out now, off the album which is out now, which contains 16

brand-new songs. It says on the sticker on the front of it! I'm no

fool. And congratulations on the BRITs this week. That was fun.

Great performance. Thank you. Really. APPLAUSE Really good. She

put on a show. She put on a show. She is in that dress, we won't

mention her dandruff! And then that went into this. Two outfits on top

of each other. It was very hard. In a minute. A bit like 123, -- 13,

she was off to the Oscar. In Hanna, I wanted to learn how to fight.

will teach you. Girl on girl action! You carried that whole

movie. It was just you. Fantastic. Thanks. A bit of a love-in.

didn't realise it was so me. went to the Golden Globes. We did.

We sat next to each other. She said, "Why are you here?" It was one of

those times... I'm nominated. For what? Best Actor? I really put my

foot in my mouth. Then I was absolutely freaked out because I

met your wife who - I said, it is so good to see you again. She is,

like, in her head, I know she is thinking, "I have never met this

woman before." She was my favourite District Attorney and I see her

every week. It was a good night for me. I was really on(!) Was your son

there? Or was he happy to hear you met Taylor? What are you talking

about? He wasn't there. People get around Richard Gere, they start

making mistakes. It happened to you just then. He makes you do it.

is his fault. What are you talking about? Thank you very much for

doing that. Fantastic. Lovely. Thank you. But before we go tonight,

let's have a visit to the Big Red Chair. You are very excited. I'm so

excited. Who is up first? Hello. Hello. Hi. I have to ask you, are

you a Judi Dench fan? Of course. that seriously what that T-shirt

means? No. What does it mean? some, the kids these days, the

urban slang, Graham. OK. Does it mean anything? It doesn't mean

anything. I thought he swore then! What is your name? Harris. That is

your first name? Yes. I'm just going to do it! Oh! It is like...

Is that all right? You are channelling Hanna again! She is in.

I feel like I have made it now! My life is complete now. His name is

Harris. He could have had the best story in the world. Says Saoirse!

What is your middle name again? Tiffany! Who is up next? Hello.

What is your name? Kelly. I think Kelly will tell a good story.

is nice. She is lovely. Everyone loves you. Lovely. Thank you.

What do you do? I love in London. I'm from South Africa. Leave it.

Off you go. So, it was my first date and I was really nervous. The

guy comes, he was gorgeous. And he... He sits down and he takes a

cigarette and I thought I was so cool and I offered to light it for

him. Yes? Don't know why. Don't know what possessed me. I light

this cigarette and he turns his face and his hair suddenly caught

on fire. So I tried to distract him, look, look, there is your mum, or

whatever, and he looks. I was trying to blow it out. Then he was

wearing so much gel in his hair it started to smell and sparks were

flying. And I literally, it was like in flames by this point. He

was so, he didn't realise and I did what any normal person would do, I

ran! LAUGHTER You ran away? Can she walk? Yes. You can walk. Go on.

Very good. Well done, everybody. If you would like to have a go on the

Big Red Chair, you can. Go to the website. Thank you to my guests,

Taylor Swift, John Malkovich, Saoirse Ronan and Mr Richard Gere.