Episode 13 The Graham Norton Show

language. On the show tonight all but run runaway bus. Turn left. Let

me have the wheel. Let's start the Hello! Hello! Hello everybody. Good

evening. Welcome. The bus driver's name was Kate!

LAUGHTER Contact her via the show. We have

got a brilliant show for you tonight, the gorgeous Hollywood

star, Sandra Bullock is here. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I know. The Hollywood star, Samuel L Jackson is on the show.

A British actor is becoming a Hollywood star, Mr Nick Frost is

here. Plus we have got music from the brilliant Jake Bugg, everybody.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yes, we do. We do.

Not making it up. We actually do. Samuel L Jackson, what a list of

films he has to his name. Star Wars, Pulp Fiction and Snakes On A Plane.

LAUGHTER I won't tell you what it is about.

LAUGHTER Imagine getting on a plane and

seeing loads of snakes. I can't think of anything more frightening

on a plane. LAUGHTER

There aren't enough free drinks in the world. The film featured a

terrified man eating pythons. Here is Samuel eating one and here he is

five minutes later. Mr Jackson. Mr Jackson. Ah, Sandra Bullock, star of

the Proposal and Blind Side and Speed which was set on a bus, you

know. Room for one more on top. Ding-ding.

LAUGHTER Can you move right down inside,

please? LAUGHTER

I don't remember that bit! It was exciting. It was exciting when she

had to drive the bus to stop it exploding. I mean she looks

terrified there. What's at the back of the bus that's making her so

scared? LAUGHTER

Sandra went on to star in Speed 2. What's in the water that's making

her so scared? ? Hello again. What's he doing? It looks like he is in

half a walnut shell. Sandra is going to be telling us about her new movie

called The Heat. It is terrific. That isn't the first thing I came up

with when I Googled Bullock in heat! Let's get some guests on. Later, we

will behaving music from Mr Jake Bugg.

But first, he is the world's coolest cometic, it is Nick Frost,

everybody. Nick Frost. Hello sir. How are you? Oh. Oh. Oh. It is

lovely to see you. Nick Frost. Samuel L Jackson.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello sir, how are you?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And it is Sandra Bullock.

And it is Sandra Bullock. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What a fabulous woman. Ah, that is a crowd indeed. They are

loving it. Can I just say, it was nice to meet you all, I got a nice

hug from Nick, that was nice? you. I'm a keen hugger. I'm not a

loony, I just hug anyone. If you are going to commit to a hug, you should

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 178 seconds

I know isn't that weird that we should be... Funny or friends.Or

hot. The first one is Thelma and Louise, right? Is it?No. Here's the

thing, it's you and you are on screen a lot. You're doing

everything together. It's a buddy movie. But were you buddies, due

know each other before? No. It was one of those special things that

happens, usually when you're in a bar and you're a little drunk, like

when you see someone you're real really have something for and you

don't know why. Your eyes catch each other and you just slowly walk

towards one another. You just can't help - you're drawn. It's scary. But

you step forward any way. Then we met. We had a little hug. It was

just, I went" Ah, ah." You know when your breath is take an way. That's

what happened. Seriously, I saw it in those terrible circumstances,

where it's just two or three people in a little viewing thing. We were

laughing out loud. Good.I'm guessing when there's a big crowd,

lots of laughing. Here's a clip. This is you meeting Melissa's

family. Do we need to say anything about you're a bit more uptight than

her? Yeah, I'm very uptight. I'm by the book. Her family I have not met

the book. Her family I have not met the book. Her family I have not met

the book. Her family I have not met yet. They have their way with me.

That's one of the better Jesus sports themed paintings I have seen.

Are you a knack I don't know what that is? Are you not a KnackI see.

A nark. What was I saying? Generally, you pronounce the R.

are you doing here? I am a federal agent.

Are you a boy or a girl? LAUGHTER

How do you get that close a shave on A lot of that is improvised?

Painfully, yes. LAUGHTER

The nark was kind of scripted. Anything that was cruel towards me

after that, but I wasn't made aware of until I sat down.

LAUGHTER You just have, you have to suck it

up. I just had to suck it up. It is directed by Paul Feeg who

directed Bridesmaids and there is a scene of you and Melisa getting

drunk in a car bar. Presumably -- getting drunk in a car. Presumably

that wasn't scripted? No, it said they get script and maybe they

dance. And you do both of those things?

did that all day with no help from alcohol whatsoever.

LAUGHTER OK. And did somebody say... I like

that movie. We made her the worst dancer possible. Everything is a

stab in the air. That's her big move.

LAUGHTER That's hot. Who does the writing for

this improvisation? When it was funny, it was a writer. Nick Frost

down the end, you have done a lot of drunk acting? I did. A lot of

research has gone into it, clearly. LAUGHTER

The key to it is don't do too much. I think people who are drunk try not

to be drunk. So I always try to do maybe put my foot up on a step that

isn't there. That's always good drunk agoing. Do you remember how

you were when you were drunk? I kind of go into the bathrooms and

I say, " Remember this. Remember this."

LAUGHTER You were drunk, weren't you?

LAUGHTER Obviously, when people get drunk

they might get aggressive and Samuel L Jackson, when people are rude to

you, you got to fight back, don't you. You will go into a chatroom and

you will go, " No." What kind of chatroom?

LAUGHTER Well, especially when people are

talking about movies. When I have a movie out, I'm not like most actors,

most actors say, " I don't read my reviews." I read my reviews and I

read all the reviews and then I start going through the comments

about the review and I will find some website where everybody is

talking and I will just bust into LAUGHTER

And just start saying is hit about the movie -- sheet about the movie

and eventually somebody will get us and go, " Oh my god, it is Tim him."

I went -- "oh my god, it is him." I did it when people went off about

The Avengers. This is not real, it is The Avengers. The critics got on

his side. My 2. 5 million followers jumped on his ass. Apparently we won

because the movie made billions of dollars!

LAUGHTER Snakes On A Plane, is that...

stand by that movie because I had a great time making that movie and

that's what it was about for me. That was the kind of movie of would

have gone to see when I was a kid and I showed up to do the movie and

they were talking about Pacific flight 11. I was going what the hell

is this? I'm not going Pacific 113 and it is either Snakes On A Plane

or I'm out. I had a great time and I still watched that movie. I stand by

it. I do Snakes On A Plane 2 and 3! LAUGHTER

Talking of planes and I don't think is a bad story because everyone is

fine, but you were in a proper plane crash? Yes. What's the hell is a

proper plane crash? LAUGHTER

He doesn't mean just sliding off the runway. It was a medium one if we

are going to categorize it. The pilot as it were missed the runway

and we hit snow about five feet so it broke the wheels and the wings

off and it pitched us forward and yeah and all the... That's a plane

crash. That's a plane crash. Do you feel sorry for me? Of course.I had

my German shepherd and once we hit because the front nose of the plane

was in the snow so all we could see was just white coming through and I

didn't know we had the hit on the back of the head with things and I

couldn't find the duing and I could see her -- dog and I could see her

ears pop up and she was in the cockpit with the pilot.

LAUGHTER The pilot, did he say sorry or

anything? LAUGHTER

He shut us in and I think he was in shock and was looking for help. I

thought we hit the runway and other planes were going to land, but it

was night-time and I'm like, " Where is the pilot?" We opened the door

and off we went. See, listen to those stupid announcements slam

announcements! I like to fly with other people. There is a few people

out there that have never been on a plane and they deserve to live. I

like being on a plane with those like being on a plane with those

first timers! APPLAUSE

It terms of awkward encounters, Nick Frost, you did the oddest thing.

There is a TV show called Spaced. APPLAUSE

That's the first time we met Nick. Nick does Spaced and finishes series

one and then you went back to your job in the restaurant. Yeah, I did

because I, no one had ever given me that much money before so I blew it

all like in six weeks. And then I had to go back to waitering because

I didn't have any money so, you know, I think I learned a very

important lesson. LAUGHTER

Don't blow it all. What did you spend it on? I just

kissed it up the wall. I just went out a lot and just blew it.

But Simon Peg... I had a great time by the way. It was the greatest five

weeks of my life. You met Simon through working in

restaurants? Yes, his girlfriend worked in the same restaurant

restaurant as I did and I became friendly with her and she said you

guys should meet and we met and there was a static charge and we

fell in love and we got rid of her and the rest is history. And it is

like you and Mellicent? Yes, but she didn't get rid of her husband.

you know what's weird though, I don't know if this is very British,

so girlfriend goes away, but you end up sleeping in a bed together?

we did. Well, you know, he had nowhere to live, we were best mates.

He slept on the floor next to my bed for a few weeks and then I said "get

in and we would top and tail." Do you know what top and tail is?

I hope I know what that means! We topped and tailed for a while and

then we found ourselves one night like this in our single bed reading

a big gloss glossy, I think, it was like a map, you know, like a big map

of the world. I just flicked through and we said, " Let's go to sleep."

We slept together for ages. We didn't have any money. We lived in a

house which was full of #350e78 so you just, you know, it was cold and

we snuggled in. It never felt like it was going to

develop. LAUGHTER

Some mornings I would wake-up and I didn't know where Simon ended and I

began, sure. But I felt like primal. I hear you!

LAUGHTER You are reunited now in the World's

End which opens on the 19th July it opens here. Have you guys seen Hot

Fuzz or anything All of them.So this isn't connected to them, but it

is sort of connected to them? I guess it is the third film we have

done together so there is a connection there. People are calling

it a trilogy, but I'm not, it is three films if you want to call that

a trilogy well go ahead. This one, it is like a pub crawl meets kind of

Armageddon? Barmageddon. The story is five guys who haven't

seen each other for perhaps 20 years reunite to do this famous pub crawl

in their, you know, what was their home town. I mean in terms of Shaun

of the Dead, that was a love story, but there happened to be a zombie

apocalypse going on in the background. Life goes on.

The clip is from the start of the movie where Simon Peg's character is

trying to bring the old group of friends... Something happened

between mine and Simon Peg's character which ended our

relationship and he is trying to get my on board. Thank you, here is the

clip. I saw the boys the other day. Oh

man, Stevie baby. Remember the names of our childhood friends. We had

ourselves a little idea. Did you now? We're going to go back to

Newton Haven for unfinished business. That's a joke, right? 50

pints. 60 pints. I haven't had a drink in

years, Gary. This time we're going to finish this thing once and for

all. You have a selective memory, Gary.

You remember the Friday nights. I remember the Monday mornings.

none of us live there anymore? Because it was a black hole.

APPLAUSE Now, Sandra Bullock, I must talk

about your Oscar win because how fabulous.

APPLAUSE We love an Oscar winner.

APPLAUSE For anyone obviously getting on

Oscar is great, but because... LAUGHTER

Samuel... What?What I'm trying to say is... So it is like, Sandra, you

beat merle which is like, that gets competitive? It does. Not between

Between the studios. So what was the award show where you locked lips?

You mean where she asked for it? she beg you? The back story why did

you kiss Meryl? She sent to my office, oh my god Meryl Streep sent

you flowers. Up comes this bottom part with three dead orchids on it

and it said, " Die bitch." LAUGHTER

That is classy. I like that. I had to take her down. I thought kill her

with my kisses. Look at the kiss. with my kisses. Look at the kiss.

with my kisses. Look at the kiss. Look at that. I knew it was you,

Fredo! You look as if you are about to eat

her in that shot! LAUGHTER

Look how excited the kid was in the background though. You will be

probably flicking channels and see this and does anyone know who he is?

In a year's time when he is the next Superman, we will know exactly who

he is. We're not looking anymore. Maybe you won't be!

APPLAUSE Samuel, you were nominated, you have

been nominated for an Oscar once? Yeah.

It is a good thing lock man. You know when you go on talk shows and

they go, " Academy Award nominee." Who cares? Nobody knows what year it

was. I didn't win. I remember because I think I should have won!

LAUGHTER It was one of those kind of things.

You are sort of famous as one of those people who didn't bother with

the fake smiley clappy thing. You didn't do that, did you? That's

true. LAUGHTER

I did say, " Ah, sheet when I didn't win. I didn't know it. We wanted to

show a clip of you not inwithing on award... That costs money, doesn't

it? So much money. Oscars should be made of gold they charge so much for

the clips? Really?Yes. Hang on, who tells us that is it comes with

cleaning instructions? I don't know, I don't have one. We have

established that. Will you stop rubbing it in his face? That's what

the cleaning instructions say funnily enough.

I feel bad because we've focussed on Samuel not winning an award for

sometime so we can quickly, no we can quickly big him up though

because and this is something to celebrate because you are in the

Guinness Book of Records Samuel L Jackson as the highest grossing

actor of all time. 7. 4 billion. A lot of money for a lot of people.

The thing is because you are in big, successful franchises I have been a

couple of big movies. That's a huge franchise and I did a couple of

movies which were kind of cool. I remember when George told me I was

going to pass Harrison as the number one box office actor of all time, he

was like, " When this movie comes out, you will pass him." I was like,

" I'll probably pass him this year because I did a little movie called

The Incredibles." It is great making money.

I like the fact because you are cool, but you are no the shy about

saying, " I want to be in that film." I want to be in Star Wars

too. Come on, jed Jedhi's fall from incredible heights and I think I can

handle it. And they can come back to life, why can't they? They can

reform and... LAUGHTER

I can't imagine knowing that. . . You should see my cellar.

The thing about your light Sabre is that true? Yeah. You know, when I

first got that job, I didn't know what I was going to do when I said I

wanted to be in Star Wars, George invited me over to the ranch, I told

him, " Look, I want to be in a movie." I will be a storm trooper,

put me in one of the white suits, let me run across the screen. I got

over here and he made me a Jedhi and I was pleased. I did scenes with

Yoda and Liam and I came back the next year and I thought, " He didn't

kill me off." There was this big arena, fight scene with all the

Jedhi. I said to George, "You think maybe I can get a purple light

Sabre?" He said, " Lightsabers are green and light cybers are red."

When I came back to do a reshoot he said, " I want to show you

something." And he had the purple light Sabre and I was like, " Yeah."

So I could find myself in that big fight scene in the middle of 300

light Sabres. There I am right there.

APPLAUSE They make the purple one now. They

make it. Hang on. That's the expensive one. There is nothing to

do with it. There is a couple of things you can do with it and one

would be to give it to me! I will touch it and it will be worth

more. Do you know who would love this?

son. If you hit it... If my son had that,

I would be decapitating him. I have the real one at home which has bad

mother locker right here. Are you serious? Yes.

Did you see, she is auditioning? This is amazing. This gives you

power. At the just went off in your hands.

APPLAUSE So sorry.

It is not his to give away. In interviews I heard you talking

Samuel, because actors always complain about having to do green

screen... We don't complain. We say, " It was a very difficult process."

We don't complain. Actors don't complain. Sandra, you have just

finished is it Gravity, you and George Clooney was that all green

scene? Yes, they had a Led light box and the most insane contraptions

and. I am hung up on wires and black sticker. Is George as hot as he

thinks he is? Yes. He is the hottest man I have ever met next to these

two men right here. Thank you, mam.

You couldn't go three. These two men. You are too far away.

Thank you very much! LAUGHTER

I give you a light Sabre and that's how you behave. Listen, we must talk

about Samuel because you are in Britain promoting a couple of

charities you are very involved inle. One is one is One for the

Boys. We are trying to create awareness for men and it is OK for

them to talk about cancer too. Men don't deal with cancer the same way

as women do. Men don't talk about their health issues.

We don't go to the doctor either. Forget about that. All you got to do

is say go to the doctor and get probed.

LAUGHTER No. But we're just trying to get men

to engage in actively doing something about their health. So

we're doing this whole big thing in October and I'm doing this weekend

I'm going some stuff for Alzheimer's, the Alzheimer's

organisation. My mum passed away from Alzheimer's and my grandfather

had it and mer sister has got it and my grandfather on my father's side

and I feel like I'm surrounded by Alzheimer's. Every time I forget why

I walked in a room, I go, " I'm getting it." The big fund-raising in

October, the big dinner is for... That's for One For The Boys.

Men don't talk about cancer. It is not the manly thing to do. Well, I'm

here to tell you it is the manly here to tell you it is the manly

here to tell you it is the manly thing to do. Don't be dumb. Talk

Very good. Before we see who is in the red chair, it is time for music.

This man was the youngest Brit to debut at the top of the charts with

his debut album. Here is Broken and # I will await here for you

# For I'm broken # Down coming down this town for my

heart lies # Far and away where they took you

down # Led them over to your house

# Where I'm broken # Down by the people if they let you

breathe # Don't give a damn if you still

can't see # See my heartbeats for you

# Have become all I lost # And all I hoped for

# But I must carry on # Always one

# Never broken # Run to the lobby where I saw are

you try # Don't give a damn for your reasons

# Why I'm broken # Down in the valley where the

church bells cry # I'll lead them over to your eyes

# I am one # Break a story of peace and love in

a future bright # Sacrifice came around

# Never broken # Down by the people if they let you

breathe # Don't give a damn if you still

can't see # Travelling a street that I did not

know # Wheels like tong to the winter

lope # Down in the valley where the

church bells cry # I will lead them over to your eyes

# I'm one # I am one #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Mr Jake Bugg, everybody. Beautiful.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Very good. Oh, that was fantastic.

Oh, thank you. I don't mean to appear rude, but you

seemed like a man when you were doing the song. You have come over

here and suddenly you are a child. LAUGHTER

I'm horrible. What did you do to the song? I want to pick him up and burp

him. You are older than you look, aren't you? I'm 19.

You're not. LAUGHTER

And that's on the current album which is out now, but you are

working on a new one? Yeah, I am, yeah. I'm recording it in Malibu.

In Malibu? In Malibu, yeah. Make friends. Make friends. It is a

bit mad for me because it is many miles away from where I'm from, but

it is going well, I'm enjoying it. That's really under stated.

Malibu. The first album did well and presumably you are going to do live

dates? I have Glastonbury and T in the Park.

APPLAUSE That crowd is going, I don't know

who they are, but they are excited. It is time for a final visit of the

series to the red chair. So who is there?

Hello. Pmplts hello. What's your name? Fee bee.

Where sh Feed bee. Phobe. Where are you? Harrow.

What are you studying? Media. Oh yeah. I will be the judge of

that! Off with your story. A few months

ago, it was my birthday and my friends...

APPLAUSE Ask -- did I ask her for shout outs,

Do they die? Yes. It is a high stakes game here on BBC One. It was

going well and then I died. Someone will replace her, it is like that,

just in and out. Hi, what's your name? Shikeel.

Where are you from? London. What do you do? I am a drama

student. Off you go. Basically, I was on my

way to work and I would, in a supermarket and I saw this little

old lady who I seen before and she was crossing the road and I thought

I would help her and she was like, " Thank you young man. Thank you for

helping me." APPLAUSE

Did I ask him to audition? No. I asked him to tell a story. Like

mine. You were there.

I liked it when he portrayed the old lady. He is like an old lady.Am I

making good call or bad calls? Jao think you are making good calls.

have got the youth vote. OK, this is the last one. This better be good.

Hello. What's your name? Helen.

Helen. And where are you from? Borehamwood.

And what do you do there? I'm dental nurse.

Do you clean the teeth? No, I just do the sucker.

Do the sucker. It explains a lot about British teeth, doesn't it? Do

you do the cleaning? No. Do the sucker.

What a mysterious task. You have to suck out the saliva. A dry tooth is

a good tooth! All right, off you go with your

story. I own exotic pets and my snake got loose and it had been

missing for will about three months and we live in a block of three

flats. Yes. We thought we better tell our

neighbours after about two months... LAUGHTER

I told my neighbours and about a week after I told my neighbour above

me, she actually come running down the stairs and said Helen, your

snake is in my pushchair. She had just took her daughter out of it so

I'm not sure how she got up to the flat above us. It is a snake. I'm

not a vet, but I think they do. is a four foot snake.

And are you finished your story? I'm still going to flip you.

Snakes in a pram! Well done everyone. If you want to join us on

the show and have a go in the red chair, you can. You can contact us

via our website at this very via our website at this very

address. Thank you to my guests tonight, Mr

Jake Bugg, Samuel L Jackson and Sandra Bullock.