Episode 12 The Graham Norton Show

language. Tonight, the star of The American

Office. We have got some office workers in. He has also been in Date

Night. I see we have got some people on a date. He also starred in The 40

Year Old Virgin. Yes! Awkward. Let's Oh, oh, oh, hello everybody! We have

got a great show for you tonight. The star of The American Office and

The 40 Year Old Virgin, Steve Carell is here. Star of ride mates, Kristen

Wiig is on the show. -- Bridesmaids. Chris O'Dowd is joining us. Plus we

have got music from Josh Groban. Very good. Kristen Wiig is here. She

starred in Bridesmaids. Also in that film was Chris O'Dowd. Remember? She

played a cake maker who fell in love with a policeman. In reality, if a

policeman fell in love with a woman who made cakes, he wouldn't like

this. Chris also had a hit with Moone Boy, all about a young boy

growing up in rural Ireland. I know from experience that there is plenty

for a young boy to do in Ireland. Sports, culture even an adventure.

So many sections of the library you can sit in. I'd joke. The library

has been close. I look forward to chatting to Steve Carell. Despicable

Me, The 40 Year Old Virgin, so many films. They are planning on a remake

called The 80 Year Old Virgin. Come on! It is no wonder he is a virgin,

just like that. What idiot thinks a pink suit is going to get him some

action? Steve will soon be filming the second Anchorman. We all loved

him in the first one. He played a useless were -- weatherman. I think

he was based on this man. He is good in that film, but not the funniest

weatherman I have seen. Let's get the guests on! Later we will have

use it from Josh Groban. First, Irish eyes are smiling, it is Mr

Chris O'Dowd! They love you, they love you.

Keep your hair on, it is Kristen Wiig! Beautiful. Hello, my darling.

And it is Steve Carell! Hello, sir. lovely. You all know each other.

yes. We know each other! You were in a film together. You

were in Despicable Me, where you play a super villain. Everybody who

has talked about you just as you are the nicest, kindest man in all of

Hollywood. Yes, that is true.And beautifully modest, too. So you are

a really nice but Hugh attracts niceness. I can't believe... The

first time you can to London? in 1984. We got off the plane and we

had no idea where to go. We had no transportation. A guy come out of

nowhere, came unto us and said, would you go ride into London? The

trusting souls we were, we hitched a ride with this guy. He had just got

off a friend. He said, would you like a tour of London? Absolutely.

Want to go to lunch? I know a place. We went to his club, had a delicious

lunch. Need a place to stay? I know a great bed and breakfast. He was

the nicest guy in the world and he did not murder us at the end of it.

And this was London, England? It is not a city we recognise from that

story. Incredible. I love it here. Only good experiences... Until

tonight. Kristen, your parents, they still

don't quite believe you are doing OK. They make comments sometime. I

will do a film and they say, that is so great, is it going to be in the

theatre? Sometimes they don't quite understand that I have a job.

are just worried about the quality of their retirement home. By then a

house. Then they like, OK, that works for us. An enormous house they

can't afford. It is like that show, where they leave them with all of

the stuff. Like, who is going to pay the electricity bill? A giant

glowing beaver. They never do a follow-up show on that, do they?

they build it in one night, so you know it is quality. We poured the

concrete. We think it is set. you are famous, you have to worry

when you leave the house. Chris O'Dowd, you are very dapper. Have

you consciously decided to become more dapper? It is weird. You start

going to a lot more events when things are going well. It took me a

while to determine what my look would be. You know? Oh, yes. I

thought I would go for dishevelled for a while. At because I am

dishevelled I looked like a tramp who had just stolen some clothes. I

thought I would try the madmen look. What was that? It was sharp, but it

did not look good. One night I was watching the show and I realised I

was wearing the same outfit as one of the characters. I thought that

was pretty great. I took a picture opens on June 28. You are back as

the same character. But at the end of the last movie, you stopped being

a villain. Yes, he has a family now. He has two retire and go legitimate.

Now he has a line of jams and jellies. He really does. Have you

guys watched it? Yes.There were children their first I laughed more

than anybody. I had a lot of medication that day. I had a collar

loss could be that day and they said I'd could not operate heavy

machinery. But I laughed like a drain. The same day you saw the

movie? That is good, because that is really your key demographic. It was

a special deal, wasn't it? Don't eat the popcorn hour. -- now

stop this time around he has been turned into a superhero, in a way.

He has been recruited by the anti-villain league, an organisation

that Kristin 's character is one of the Leeds buyers and she recruits my

character to be the villain in residence. -- the head spies.

are dramatically... There is a connection. Chemistry. Oh, for a

family movie, it is hot. That is how we are selling it.

Something for dad. This is your character, Lucy, and you have gone

undercover in a maul. This is the two of you. Do I need to explain any

more? That is basically it. We are trying to find the fluid that is

turning things into herbal versions of themselves. -- horrible versions

got a little... Here, I will get it. Oh, it is just spreading. All right,

I got it. Stop it! What you just saw was something new I have been

working odd. -- working on. Why are you here? On assignment. I am your

new partner. What's? No! Were you doing all that? All of the

moves, exactly like that. Sometimes it is just hard to stop. I find it

hard not to dance. We have got to talk about the millions. They are

brilliant. There are thousands of them now and they are following us

through this press junket. Everywhere, people are just as

minions. They are in the hallway. They are just walking around. They

are always in character. People are in costumes, jumping around,

constantly. It is the creepiest thing. I hope they have been hired

by somebody. They could just be really keen fans. Kids who are fans

of millions -- minions, this will sell so well. Imagine getting this

for a child. Have you seen this? They have put out a Fat done. --

fart gun. Are some of them a little stretched

out? What about the one that you forget about and it sneaks out?

I? In a little while. Not now. You can put a timer on it. In a minute,

it will go off. I swear to God. There you are. Now you can have it.

Oh, my God! Dawn is going to love this!

That was the end of the show! 40 minutes of Chris O'Dowd doing a

part gun! -- fart gun.

If it landed here you would go, oh, get it over here. The fly feels the

pressure of the air coming from either side, so you trick it! And

you go... And you get it every time. Clever murder!

So in character! That fly has November idea of the

danger he's -- has no idea of the danger he's in now. I did it during

a take of The Office, there was a fly on the desk and I went... And

the cameras went down like, "Oh, my God! " It was the coolest thing I

did on the show! I must mention Anchorman 2, you are all in that

too. There is Steve down the end! He said, "Look upset that they gave

you a perm! " Now, you play Brick's love interest?

Another connection. Sparks a flying! I don't know how I

feel about the perm. If you are getting married, don't go with that

hair! During those scenes there was a

level of attraction to that character. I thought she was just

sort of weirdly hot as that character. Yeah?Why is everyone

getting quiet? It's a little awkward. Calling

something weirdly hot when they are right there is rather odd. She's not

weirdly hot, she's hot! That's what I'm saying. Get a room!

Give me a break! Oh, my God... Did you just drink the

fly? Have you got it alive in your mouth?

Oh, my sweet God! LAUGHTER

Here we go. I'm taking this thing down. It's drunk now. I've chewed

I took a drink. I was like, I didn't realise I had any ice in there!

That was in your mouth! LAUGHTER

It is like CSI Fly! Draw a chalk outline around it.

I can't believe that worked! That was a one in a million shot.

Everyone said, "It's too ambitious, don't try it! " Surprising! I am not

going to lie, that was surprising! You didn't swallow any of it - it is

still there. That is right - the good girl.

Mo -- moving on! I'm doing this. I am hosting a chat show. We're going

for it! Chris O'Dowd, he's back on our screens with this, it is very

posh - Family Tree, on BBC Two from the middle of next month and it is

Chris fer Guest who did Spinal Tap and other things. It is a

mockumentary, is that what you call them? It is an improvised show.

There is no dialogue. We make it up a little bit as we go along. It is a

comedy version of Who Do You Think You Are. A parody. A guy is left by

his woman. He loses his job. He is left a great trunk of stuff by a

great aunt who dies. A good aunt. And so he starts dwefling into his

past and looking into his family roots and all that stuff and meets

interesting people. We have a clip of the show. This is you. You are

taking a photograph of a great grandfather? Yes, probably so. I

live upstairs from a guy who owns a ye Oldie Curious it isty shop.

My great aunt died. She left me bits My great aunt died. She left me bits

and bobs. I thought I know a man And this was in it.

My great grandfather. Bliemly. He's a filler. I see the family

resemblance. Puff your cheeks out a bit, now your eyes.

Not really. I can tell you this much - it is turn of the century, I would

say. Anywhere in the early 1900s. I would not do that. It is not a

musical instrument, it is a Victorian dildo. I could say we

don't know where it's been, but we know exactly where it's been!

Have you done the real Who Do You Think You Are. How was it?I did it

for my mother. They really want you to cry. They say things like, a lot

of people find this process upsetting. I was like, at what point

would you have cried during this so far? It has been in America. Do you

have it in America? Yes.I I did look into my past. There would be

November reason. I look back to the 1700s and found the first O'Dowds

and they are 15 minutes from where we live now. So, not big travellers.

Real seasick group, essentially. Since you were last here Chris

O'Dowd, Chris has got married. A lovely marriage has taken place.

APPLAUSE We have a picture of you and Dawn.

I'm on the left! There is all that pressure, because

it is supposed to be the perfect day. Did you get to enjoy it at all?

Yeah. We really had a fantastic time. I feel like if I had one

regret I wish I had drank a little less. With all the adrenaline and

thaw stuff I don't remember -- and all that stuff I don't remember much

after 1am, in the morning, in the night and... Right after the

ceremony - it's gone! And we were talking the next morning and Dawn,

we were kind of postmorteming the whole thing. It was like, we had a

great time. I was like, "I wasn't too drunk was I? I didn't dance on

tables? " She was like, "No, you were great. I was surprised you wore

the crown for so long! " I had no recollection. I was like no I

wasn't. She said, no, no, here's the picture of you! And ultimately we

have the picture. You brought in the I have to say, Dawn looks awful in

Is that your cat? It's head is slightly melted here. I have been

sucking the shit out of it that all night. That is my best man and I

don't know where the crown came from! That face is brilliant. That

is just such a fabulous drunk face. Just so happy. You did Bridesmaids

before getting married. Yes.Did that scare you? I have always found

women terrifying, so I wasn't so much worried about all of that. Like

nobody can ever ask you to be a bridesmaid. Is that tricky? I guess.

No-one has asked me since I have made it. The thing is, so

Bridesmaids you wrote it. It was the first thing you ever wrote. Yes, I

had written little sketches and stuff.

APPLAUSE It was amazing. But it is that thing

with first novels, that sort of thing, people tend to steal great

chunks of your own life. Are there big bits... ? Not as much as you

would think. I had never lost control of my bowels!

What if that was the only thing that was true and we wrote the whole

movie around it? I mean, honestly not that much, really! Where did

that come from? That is one of the funniest scenes of all time.

Actually I remember when we were writing that scene, my writing

partner actually acted out that part. She was walking and she was

like, what if she went down on the ground. It was like, yes, we have to

put that in there! Is it like Holly Hunter and the Piano? Exactly like

that. You had a similar experience where you wrote a script and you

wrote 40 Year Old Virgin. I co-wrote that. You choose to write this scene

for yourself, which was a form of self-loathing and... Yes, I thought

it would be funny. And it is very funny. I thought it would be funny

for the guys watching it in the scene. There's no way you can act

the horror that you are witnessing and the joy of watching a man go

through something like that. And at one point Romney has to leave the

scene because he is so grossed out... For real, he has to leave!

That actress, I love her face there! Is it true she lied in the audition.

She said she knew how to wax! that true? I think she was told they

needed someone to wax a chest. She said she was proficient at it. It

turns out she tried once to wax her boyfriend's wax. That didn't go well

either. There was a point, you put the wax on, but when you wax around

the nipples you are supposed to put a little Vaseline so the nipple

doesn't... . Very good reaction!You know where I am going with that. -

it will rip your nipple off. She did not put the Vaseline on my nipple.

She reached down. Someone had the forethought to say, hang on. It was

the only time we cut and said, you have to do that before you do that.

So, I still have two functioning nipples!

Phew! We're so happy! That actress is not the only person who relied in

audition. Chris O'Dowd. Everybody does this. For whatever reason,

actors don't drive. They are really bad at learning to drive. In this

country. I just don't need to. So, yes, I took a job where I told them

I could drive but the job was I was the getaway driver. So they just

shot it from behind and got somebody else to do it. Kristen, didn't you

say you were a professional dancer or something? I didn't say I was

professional. At the bottom of your CV, often it says, special skills.

So I said, I dance, I kayak. My commercial agent at the time called

me and said, can you dance? I was like, yes, I can dance. I said, yes.

She said, where your clothes, go to this audition. So I put sweats on

and I go in and women are fully like leotards, buns, stretching. I was

trying to stretch with everybody and thinking, what is going to happen? I

go in the room and they are already looking at me. The direction was to

start on the ground. They wanted people to rise up like they were

flames. So I was like... I crouched on the ground and I just... I just

did like a turn. Then I just stopped. I stared at them and they

were like... Thank you. It was so humiliating. They seemed genuinely

mad. It was awful. I would have paid �1000 to see that. And here it is.

Steve, you have had a share when you were a struggling actor - didn't you

sell wine on the phone? Yes. I knew very little about wine. I would

say, the vital characteristics of this wine are, you know, whatever,

it strong afterbirth. I never sold a bottle of wine. I only worked there

for one day. Who buys wine over the phone? You go to the store and buy

wine. Some guy cold calls you and says, would you like to buy some

wine? You would want him to arrive immediately. Exactly. Where are

you? Ding dong, here is your wine. Chris, you worked for a charity.

worked in a charity call centre, an animal charity. You would call

people... We would call people who already had a direct debit, and ask

them to increase it. My campaign was endangered species. You would tell

them about the endangered species. More often than not, the species was

able that. Everybody is like, great, they are dying out. Nobody gives a

have to make up animals. So for like a month there was people across

England terrified about the disappearance of the tiger swan. It

was just a normal swan but with the stripes of a Bangor. -- Bengal

tiger. They would say, I have not heard of it. Well, it is rare. We

raised �300,000 on that campaign. But I did get fired.

APPLAUSE. It is music time. Performing I

Believe When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever, please welcome the

# Worthless years. # Here am I encased inside a hollow

shell. # Life began, then was done.

# Now I stare into a cold and empty well.

# The many sounds that meet our ears.

# The sights our eyes behold. # Will open up our merging hearts.

# And feed our empty souls. # I believe when I fall in love with

you. # It will be forever.

# I believe when I fall in love this time.

# Without despair, we will share. # And the joys of caring will not be

replaced. # What has been must never end.

# And with the strength we have won't be erased.

# The truths of love are planted firm.

# They won't be hard to find. # And the words of love I speak to

you. # Will echo in your mind.

# Because I believe. # When I fall in love with you.

# It will be forever. # Oh, I believe.

# When I fall in love this time. # It will be forever.

# I believe when I fall in love this time.

# I believe. # When I fall in love.

# It will be forever. # You know that love will call.

# I believe. # I believe it will be forever.

# If I believe. # I believe.

# You're the only one for me. # I believe.

# When I fall. Josh Groban, everybody! Come and

join us. Good to see you. Hello again, nice to see you. Keep your

applause going for the choir. Fantastic. Beautiful. Oh, my. That

looks delicious. Not an egg thrower among them.

is the greatest couch in the history of mankind. I love you guys.

agree. Let's do some business. That is from

your carbon, All That Echoes, which is in the shops now. -- your album.

You can buy that. By the way, if you are watching and gloves go tonight,

when your wife said she was going to a Josh Groban concert, she was not

lying. -- watching in Glasgow. Sunday, you are in Dublin. We are

finishing the European tour in Dublin. Are you going? Yes.I feel

like you could be my brother from another mother. When I grow a beard

I get that all the time. We should coordinate. Just a freak people out.

We said it was a connected couch. You and Steve or in a movie

together. We were. He and his team were kind enough to include me.

you played a douche bag. I really nailed the audition. Did you have to

audition? It was a formality. The other link you have, we were

talking about waxing, and you are really hairy. Oh, wow. Do we have

that in common, to? It is all on the back. It is funny for the joke, but

I don't, really. I have a very smooth... You are protesting too

much. I have a circle here.I know an actress who can help you out with

the rest of it. Now she is experienced. Now she knows what she

is doing. Do you do manscaping? Occasionally. The odd trim here and

there. I would never do the full body thing. I want to stay

lumberjack. What about lady gardening, as they call it? No?

have never heard it as lady gardening, but I like that. Ladies

of the choir? Yes? The woman I am with, it is lady Forrest Inc. It

depends if it is pre-or post not chill. -- pre-or post-wedding.

Before we go, time for a story or two in the Red Chair. Who is up

first? Oh, no. Seriously? Seriously? OK, next one. Hello! Did

I meet you outside earlier? Don't think so. I think you would

remember. My name is in this show title. Who are you going to see? I

don't know. I just saw a queue. I don't own a television. What is your

name? Paula. From Islington. I'm a manager of a sheltered

accommodation. You do good work. Years ago, my husband was lazy. He

joined a Sunday football league team. He used to come home three

sheets to the wind, sit on the sofa, where is my dinner? Then he would

fall asleep. I thought, I have had enough. I made some gravy and I

flicked it on his shirt. He would wake up and say where is my dinner?

I would say, you have had it. Look. He used to come home in the summer,

strip off to his boxers and fall asleep on the settee. I couldn't do

the gravy thing any more. I was hoovering one day, it was really

hot, the kids were screaming, it was manic, and I thought, oh, I am so

fed up, and as I looked around, he had the ox shorts with the buttons

and his little chap was poking out. My son said, take the part of the

Hoover. I pulled his pants aside, I thought, oh, no, don't do it, and

before I could get away, I just lifted up and it went... I run into

the bathroom and all I could think to say was, it is the best blow job

you will ever have. You walk! Best story ever! Even the choir are

applauding Paula. Well done everyone. You can contact us via the

website at this address. Thank you to my fabulous guest tonight. Josh