Episode 3 The Graham Norton Show

Tonight on the show we have one of the stars of Iron Man 3. Wouldn't

it be great to be Iron Man? Oh, this is brilliant. Just have a sip

of my wine. Useless. Let's start Oh, hello!

APPLAUSE Welcome one and all. Hello

everybody. Thank you very much. We have a very exciting show tonight.

Hollywood's come a-calling, Gwyneth Paltrow is on the show.

Ready, steady go, double Olympic Gold Medal winner Mo Farah is here.

The hilarious Lee Mack is on the show.

Plus we have music from Hurts, Gwyneth is here to tell us about

Iron Man 3. Iron Man is one of my favourite superheroes. Here he is

Begin Seth back as -- Gwyneth is back as Iron Man's love interest.

He is shorter than I remember! I must ask, how do you have sex

with a man made of iron? Really looking forward to meeting

Mo Farah. I think we can all remember where we were when Mo won

his second Gold Medal at the He got gold, I got bronze! What an

inspiration Mo is. Thanks to him, a whole generation of British people

have taken up running. 50 more yards, you're there.

Mo trains in Africa. I don't know why training in Africa would make

you such a fast runner. As well as running, Mo has set a

trend for people doing their own signature poses. There's the Mobot.

The lightning strike. And my own personal favourite, the'I'm With

Stupid'. Let's get the guests on!

Later we will have music from Hurts. First, it's Lee Mack!

It's Mo Farah! Hello, sir, welcome.

Welcome all. Can I say how pleased I was I won the race to the sofa

with Mo. You are not very good over short distances. It is so lovely to

see Mo here. Are you one of those people, because you are training

all the time, are you totally out of touch with popular culture, have

you seen the Iron Man films? I am looking forward to seeing it.

you seen the first two? No, I haven't! Just how looking forward

to it are you! Do you know who that lady is Mo? Yes, that gives me more

reason to watch. Have you seen this show? I have never seen this show

before. Do you know who I am? don't know who you are! I'm not

bothered, I thought I was going to be siingt next to Mia Faro.

last time you were here you were promoting a book, but now in a big

movie, Iron Man 3 is back. This time, you are properly in it?

actually in this movie I do get to... Kick ass. Yes. What happens

is, there is a really bad guy, a villain. Oh, no. It is very

uncharacteristic in a comic book movie. I hope Iron Man can do

something about it. So do I! I get to wear the Iron Man suit for a

while, it's very cool. Is it really you in the suit? Well, yes, it was

me in a lot of the suit and then they CGI other bits, but it was

mostly me wearing the suit when I wore the suit. That is you with a

bit of the suit. When you are in it, is it heavy, horrible? It's quite

cumbersome but it's not so bad. I thought it was going to be terrible

because in the first two Iron Man movies, Robert was like he would

put on the suit and start sweating and having nervous breakdown and

meditate and cry. He was in hell, he was like this is the worst. I

was like I better prepare for this suit. I put it on and I was like,

this guy is a wimp! It's not that bad. It was very cool when your son

Moses, who was on set that day. loves Iron Man and is a big man. I

don't think I will ever forget his face when he saw me walk out

wearing the Iron Man suit. That is amazing. It was a really good

moment. Is that the first thing he's seen his mum do? Yes, I think

so. It's definitely the first - he's now put together - the other

day we had a moment where I watched his seven-year-old brain put

together who I was. We were going to see the Justin Bieber concert

because he loves Justin Bieber. Lucky you! He said to me "You know

maybe Justin Bieber knows who you are from Iron Man movies", so it

dawned on him that I could be a connection to Justin Bieber.

passport to Justin. Or the monkey. I think his mother needs to step in

now. Say, no Justin, you can't have a monkey. Talking about spoilt

children... Wait a minute. I am talking about Justin, not Moses.

There is an amazing bit of merchandising from the Iron Man

movie. This mask. This is really good. It is amazing. What it does,

incredible they sell it to children because it fires stuff. Health and

safety want you to put those on. Are you serious. Where was it made,

That could have a kid's eye out! thought it was going to come in

this direction. I try not to hurt the guests. Iron Man three, it

opens on next Thursday, 25th April. You and Tony Stark, you are

properly a couple. It is a slight mystery why you are together. He

seems quite a difficult boyfriend I would say. I think, if you start

2349 first movie she is his assistant and there is this kind of

sexual chemistry they have and then with all the movies the

relationship progresses and now they are living together and I

think he is quite difficult but she is a very paishl of patient --

patient woman and sweet and can deal with his megalomania and suit

building. Here is a taste of you and Robert Downey downior and you

demonstrating your patience. Why don't you link up that face

mask and give me a kiss. Yes, no can do. You want to just kiss it on

the facial slit. Why don't I run down to the gar average and find a

This is a new level of lame. You ate without me on date Night.

were just hosting you. While I That makes it look like a

relationship film. There is a lot of fighting and flying around and

explosions as well. Yes. In terms of creating synthetic men. Lee, you

have built, it wasn't Iron Man but you built a man? I did build a man.

Wait a minute, what? I made Graham from plasticine. I loved moulding

him into that shape. But his fingers smell. My girlfriend, then

girlfriend, now boyfriend, long story, no, the plasticine came in

candy. My My wife, about 15 years ago there was a spate of car

jackings and women driving on their own were particularly vulnerable,

so I got it into my head, I had only started going out with her, to

help protect her, I would build a man and so when she is driving on

her own, he would sit in the passenger sweet. That's nice.

protect my girlfriend. I made this man and we called him Arthur, he

was only from the waist up. Doing the legs would be unnecessarily -

you don't need that much back story. Just the waist and head, football

head, tights over his football head, flat cap. What she would do is get

out of the car and then the neighbours would look through and

think for a minute, that's a guy in the car but then she would pick him

up and bring him in and at this point they were thinking he has no

legs. The worst bit is when we left him in the car overnight. The

neighbours look, he's still there. The man with no feet is still

sitting in the car. She never got car jacked, so it worked.

someone saw a guy with tights over his head and a hat on. With no

features, it's going to scare anyone. You would think someone's

got her already! Mo Farah, it is a huge weekend for

you. You are running the London Marathon, half the London Marathon.

What's going to change it all, it is all happening in the shadow of

what went on in Boston. How are they marking it, are they

referencing what happened in Boston? They are going to take the

security seriously. I spoke to the race organiser, there is ar going

to be more security out there. People are wearing black ribbons

and they are having silence before the start of the race. As a a

respect, there is going to be a minute's silence for the people. It

is sad what happened. After that, the race will be as normal. Are you

nervous, or does it spur you on and think, this is as usual? You don't

want to see anything happening, but at the same time, it is what you do

every day, the guys and everybody else, they do a great job, they

will take care of that. You have to take it as a normal race and enjoy

it and do what you normally do. are running half of it, the first

or second half? The first half. couldn't run the second half, you

would be waiting for age. If at the 13 mile mark you are feeling fresh,

will you keep going? My aim is not to keep going. This is just a

practise for next year. I want to come out and get a practise. You

have to wake up early in the morning. I know, yes. Have you done

a marathon? Don't take the piss out of me, Graham. You trained for one,

didn't you? Last time we chatted, you pointed out the waistcoat was

fooling no-one. This is how unfit I am. The reason I am wearing one

again tonight, I realised that I have accidentally come away with my

son's tie! How ridiculous is that! Ten minutes

before I came on I thought I can't go on like that. You look very

smart. I did train for the marathon about three years ago, the Paris

marathon. I got to about 13 miles in the training and then went to

see the doctor because I had a pain in my knee. He said that one leg

was shorter than the other, so I had to stop running the marathon, I

was delighted. He was pointing out to me, if you - would you mind

Gwyneth feeling my knees, feel the height difference of my knees.

my God. I like your reaction, oh my God. This is truth, my testicles

hang at different... APPLAUSE

Can I check, did that happen? it did. I haven't been so aroused

since I saw your head in that box in Seven. In terms of training, you

train all the time. I do, yes. this movie you are in a bra and

trousers. Yes. You are ripped. thanks. Didn't a lady bid �350,000

to do an aerobics lesson with you? Is that true. It was you and

Madonna and they paid �350,000. Madonna never turned up! Japanese

lady outside with her cheque. That does sound like quite the workout.

I do about an hour of dancing, aerobics every day and I got to

keep, try and keep this thing together still. Oh, please, I'm 40,

I have two kids and they are making me take my shirt off in Iron Man

and it's like, guys, come on. You get away with it, I feel. Mo,

obviously trains a little more than the rest of us. You live in

Portland Oregon all the time. have lived there for the last

couple of years. This is Alberto Salazar. How many hours a day do

you spend training? It's hard to say. I normally do about 120 miles

a week. If you double that to 240, you could do a full marathon.

is running outside. But you do, this guy, he's got all these weird

contraptions to train. We do another 15 to 20 miles underwater

tread mill, basically like a tread mill but in the pool.

underwater is this thing? It's up to your waist. Then you have a tube

at the front and water coming out, it is pushing you back. To resist.

Then you go at the same pace. couple of things that fascinate me.

You didn't want to be a runner, you wanted to be a footballer. I still

want to be a footballer. If I see a football, I want to go after it.

Were you good at football? thought I was good. But I wasn't

that good. You are better at running. For sure. Here is the

other thing, you are a twin? Yes. have a picture of you and your twin

brother has an. I was hoping he was going to be massive and fat! The

lazy one. What does that do to - because the three of us can look

the you and think, well, Mo is genetically different, he's pre-

disposed to be able to run like that, but Hassan is genetically

exactly the same as you. Is he lazy? He smokes 40 fashion a --

fags a day. Presumably he is thrilled for you. He is happy for

me, but we live two different lives. You know what you could do, you

know the 13 mile mark, Hassan could slip in. That's going to be a good

look. Super Saturday was the 4th August and now, you weren't

watching, were you Gwyneth? I was not watching. What were you doing?

I was in New York and I just was just shit and forgot to watch. I

missed it. 4th August is my birthday. I actually booked a

Michelin starred restaurant and at 5.00 cancelled it to watch the race

at home. I was on my feet, go on son and he still came fifth, the

Bulgarian bloke, �20 on him! you Mo, it is such an enormous

event in anybody's life. Are you still on a high from that? At that

point, it's just something you train so hard for so many years and

to get it right was amazing for me. To have the crowd behind you is

amazing. I know, no commuting, it's easy to get to. Zone 3, it's handy.

I see what you mean, Mo. In those famous images of you winning the

race. You look so surprised, you look like no-one ever mentioned you

were quite good at running before. Really, everyone? It's incredible.

I am sure you have all seen these, it's become familiar, Mo running

away from a bear, running away from the bulls. And finally this is my

Lee Mack, you are back on our televisions, a new series of Not

Going Out. Series six. A sit come on BBC One. This series is

different, Tim Vine is gone. It was the two of you, your show. Yes.

it difficult to write him out? decided we were going to do a big

thing where we wrote him out of four episodes and I thought I can't

be asked, the Olympics is on, so we cut him out in the first five

minutes of the first episode. He's old news now. You haven't seen it,

sow don't know. It's very good. There is a will they won't they

with Lee and this character Lucy. But this series, we finally find

out. We couldn't make our minds up so filmed two different endings. We

can't decide which way - we have decided now. But right to the wire

of handing in the tapes. How does it work, did they do that thing of

audience testing it or did you just decide yourselves? We watched them

back and decided which way to go, whether I want to move it on to a

family sit com, married kids or whether we want to keep it as it is

for a while. You are wondering which way we have gone, aren't you

Gwyneth. I am. You will have to tune in. You don't want to change

the format. Shall we vote. You have to watch it first. We are about to

watch a bit of it. This is an exclusive clip from next week's

episode. Hello, Wendy. Hello, have you got

five minutes. Won't once be enough? That was a joke about being bad at

sex. Not you, I mean, me. I am sure you are very good at it. You are

like the shopkeeper from Mr Ben. If you are looking for Lucy she is at

the conference. I know. Greta Garbo's nipples were made of spam.

You didn't see that one coming, did you. That's true, I looked it up on

Wikipedia. Who could go out when you could stay home and make all

the delicious recipes in Gwyneth's new book. I believe you really cook

these things? I do. You are not just the celebrity face of this

why would I bother? Money. There's no money in that. The first book,

which I have and I have cooked things from it, that potato cake

delicious, but I feel some of the delicious potato, that wouldn't be

in this book now. The idea of this book was to make food as as

delicious as the first book but that bit healthier. No butter.

butter, no gluten. That is the elimination diet. It was inspired

by the elimination diet. I had some health things crop up and my doctor

had me go on the elimination diet. I didn't really, couldn't really

think of what to cook. So I started creating these recipes and I

thought why is it the people who want to lose a bit of weight or be

healthier have really tasteless food, it shouldn't be that way.

Some of the elimination things I get, no coffee, no alcohol, no

dairy, I resist, I have fallen at the first two hurdles, but no deep

water fish. Keep water fish have a lot of mercury in them so they are

not good to eat a lot. Am I the only person who doesn't know how

deep each individual fish swim. idiot. It is going to be hard at

the fish and chip shot. "How deep does that cod swim?" If you are at

the fish and chip shop, you are not doing the elimination diet. That's

true. APPLAUSE

Lots of delicious recipes, some of them, Gwyneth, I don't understand

them. For instance, there is one here, for left over quinoa, who

doesn't finish their qinoa, how do you end up with leftover qinoa.

There's nothing left over, surely. That is a mystery. I will be

waiting sometime before I get to cook that. Plates licked clean

There are lots of delicious things. Don't leave it at that, what is it,

what is qinoa. It's like a cross between cous cous and cat litter.

I'm not wrong. You haven't had my qinoa. Is it a wheat or something?

It's not wheat, it is its own grain, it is high in protein. As you eat

it, you believe that. It is one of those things, this is really good

for me. My version is really good. You served it with a fried egg on

top so I am thrilled. The photographs in the book are lovely.

But then some of the pictures, to illustrate avocado toast, I am note

sure that was the way -- I am not sure that is the way to go. It's

breakfast. Are you dreaming of avocado toast there?! Are you

allowed my personal favourite, the potted intole sandwich. Chicken and

mushroom, cheap white bread, plonk it in, squeeze it. Is that in your

book? I just threw up in my mouth. Is that when you remembered you

touched my testicles. On Sunday for the marathon, do you have special

food you will eat? The night before the race I will eat a lot of carbs

and I will each five or six hours before and won't eat anything we

have yirx are porridge, some toast, coffee, make sure I stay hydrated,

that is more important, but before the race, I will avoid affried

stuff, mill milk. Not even a fried egg? With qi, oa? No, no fried egg.

I wonder what you would look like if somebody offered you a fried

egg! At home, because I imagine yourself and Chris, you are very

cosmopolitan couple. We have a vision of your life. But it seems

like you do the cooking, does Chris ever cook? He cooked twice. And

both times the fire brigade came. Are you serious? That is a true

story. What was he trying to cook? I don't know because the house was

full of smoke and the fire brigade turned up. The second time the fire

brigade must have been really unamused. The second time Chris

opened the door and the guy said "You have been cooking again, Chris

". You have two young children, so when you have a children's party or

something, do you do Rice Crispies and chocolate, please God say yes.

Of course, I do all the yummy cakes and food. I have heard you talking

about British children's parties and you have been dising them?

You dising our parties saying they were damp old church halls with

crappy sand wips. Am I right? If there is one area where you can

discern the difference between American and British culture it's

kids parties. Americans are over the top and too much food.

Americans eat too much food. and me live here, Lee, OK. I am

putting on a lot of weight, look at that, that was down there. When you

are here... I live here. Do you have to try and purposely make your

children's parties crap? No. I think it is hilarious, you can go

to the richest man in London's kids' party and it is in a church

basement with some sort of weird creepy kids performer, entertainer

type person. Aren't you planning a kids party at the moment. Yes. It

was Moses birthday but we are having his party soon. The plan

something extensive. I am going to be the ugliest American of all time.

Are you having a petting zoo? might have a petting zoo Does it

come on the back of a van? It does. What do you get? You get like

bunnies and all kinds of things. you get a sheep? That is your kid's

party. Did you say Graham kid's party. You really don't know who he

is, do you. How old is your stepdaughter? She is seven. Have

you been to sports days now at school? Yes. Have you been in the

fathers' race. The fathers must must be like oh God here he comes.

He probably stops half way. Is it true that you and your brother

can't cross your legs? I cannot cross my legs. When I was at school

in assembly, I used to sit like this, I can't cross my legs. But I

Those a �1 billion knees. I can't cross my legs, because you know

that big testicle hanging down, it's like that, let me show you

again! It is time for music. This

Manchester duo have sold two million records, one of my

favourites bands. I am thrilled to have them back. Performing their

new single Blind, please welcome # Since the day I left you, I hear

your voice in every sound # Since the day I left you I see

your face in every crowd # It won't go away!

# But every time I feel you're near I close my eyes and turn to stone

stone # Cause now the only thing I fear

is seeing you better off alone # Yeah

# Cut out my eyes and leave me blind

# Cut out my eyes # And leave me blind

# With the weight of the world upon me I can't hold my head up high

# Oh way oh way oh # So if you see me on the streets

turn away and walk on by # Cause after the beauty we've

destroyed # I am cascading through the void

# I know time my heart will mend # I don't care if I never see again

# Cut out my eyes # And leave me blind

# Cut out my eyes # And leave me blind

# Girl, I told you, after all we've been through

# I don't one that be by myself # Girl, I told you that it would

tear me in two # If I see you with someone else

# Cut out my eyes # And leave me blind

# Cut out my eyes APPLAUSE

Hurts! Come and join me.

Beautiful. How are you? Nice to see I noticed you kept the gloves on

for the shake. I have very, very dirty hands. Now you tell me.

last time I saw you, you had an eye mask on. Yes, I had an injury, that

is it there, that is the scar. Last time I had to wear sunglasses to

hide the grotesque eye, which I did, I fell over. You were doing the

video for Blind. We were making a video for Blind, it is just a good

job it wasn't called bollocks. could have helped you out there.

That is the new single. It is out now. This album is Exile, it is in

my car. After you finished the the song, you were talking about what

you listen to when you train. You have an iPod in when you are

running. I listen to a lot. Sometimes when you are struggling

you want something with a beat, I listen to Dizzie Rascal. Do you

stop the music halfway? Just saying. People, you read things about

people and you think is that true. But I read you guys are so

concerned now about your look, and the style you have gone for, you

have thrown all your regular clothes away. So concerned, no, it

was to make things easy. You have cleared out your wardrobe. It means

you can get changed quickly and in the dark, which makes it easier.

You can't jog in a suit. You can. like to flirt with the gym, I walk

past it in these clothes. What is missing lads is a tie. I have the

one for you here, looing at that baby. Is that taped on? I don't

want another child stealing it, that is how I got it. Seriously,

you don't own any other clothes now? No. We didn't for a long time.

I have not had a pair of trainers for six years. I have trainers and

a pair of shorts. You need at least one. If we do get a summer...

It was lovely today Gwyneth. it? Grey and freezing cold is your

definition of summer. It was all right. You are on crack, it was not,

it was freezing and grey. Was it freezing and grey today? I was

inside all day. You were hunting for qinoa. Before we go, time for a

What is your name? Owen. You are from Ireland. Yes. County Kerry.

Which bit? North Kerry. Think it's grey here!

Do you live there? I live in Greenwich in London. What do you

do? I am a civil engineer. Clever. Off you go.

I was in Thailand with a mate and we decided we would head off on

scooters one of the days and headed into the countryside. We were

getting hungry and we stopped off somewhere to get something to eat.

We saw a beer garden and there was a beer garden and restaurant. We

pulled over and went through the beer garden, they had those

canopies outside and went inside, small restaurant, a guy in the

corner drinking a beer and having his rice and beef and I asked the

waitress could I get a menu and she didn't speak English, so she gave

us the same food the guy had. She gave us the food and I was there,

can I have two beers please and she got frustrated with us and language

barrier was a problem. She headed outside and got her son or somebody

like that to come in and he had a bit of English. I explained to him,

I said can I get the menus and have two beers. The your man goes, this

is not a restaurant, this is somebody's house. Good story, you

can walk. Well done everybody.

Thank you to all my guests tonight, Hurts ladies and gentlemen. Lee