15/03/2016 Too Much TV

Last night, EastEnders got steamy in the shower.

Ross Kemp says he's "wetting himself"

And Catherine Tyldesley is feeling flush

with her new, big money contract on Coronation Street.

But it's not been all about soaps in the last 24 hours.

Here's the best of the rest of the TV you've been watching.

: You're Fired Dara O'Briain ROM # Romesh I wouldn't be that upset if

you died. I'd be sad biI'd rally prettyicly. If you bought these,

you'd not only waste your money but damage your eyes. You are's hanging

out to continue. If you are say so. I'm not trying to to be respectful.

I'm trying to win. It's magical. He's a magnificent predator. I feel

like we're missing something, sir. If you have given money, none of the

world's problems is your fault. It's as simple as that!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Coming up tonight, we're joined by legend Brian Conley -

one of our greatest all-round entertainers.

He's going to fill us in on his new series -

Wee Susan Calman squares up to giant Richard Osman

when she goes behind the scenes at Pointless.

And tonight is the series finale of the magnificent Happy Valley.

And Robert Emms, who plays farm boy Daryl, is here

to give us the inside scoop on the drama everyone's talking about.

CBBC have redesigned their logo after nine years of the old green

and black one, which has caused a little controversy online.

I really like it. I like the colours. We don't like change, do

we? The kids will love that. who plays glamorous knicker-stitcher

Eva, has apparently renewed her contract with the soap in a deal

which will see her on the cobbles And she's reportedly being paid

?100,000 a year - so loads of money! But not compared to

some Corrie veterans - Bill Roache?

?250,000 by all accounts. And Jack Dee has quit his presenting

job on 'The Apprentice: You're Fired'

spin-off show, He hosted last series after

taking over from Dara O'Briain who had been in the chair

since 2010. Could regular panellist Romesh

Ranganathan step into his shoes? I love the fact that Jack fired

himself from the show. Right, I can't wait any longer,

it's time to talk Happy Valley. It's T-Minus two hours

until the series finale. Robert Emms, who plays unhinged

farm boy Daryl is here to tell us every little detail

about tonight's biggest show. Do you remember, Neil, we were at

school together? I found the body. I left threatening messages. I had a

motive. We are looking at a serial offender. Walking away isn't going

to make it go away. BAFTA award-winning drama. You don't talk

about me, dad. Never goes away, does it? He'll never go away. I cannot

wait. I was a huge fan of the first

series. I watched it twice. Basically I've nothing else to do! I

loved it so much. I was so pleased to be doing this one. There's two

plot lines in the show. Killer Tommy Lee rows trying to get revenge on

Sarah Lancashire's character. And a string of murders in the village.

Last week, you confessed to all these murders? Apparently so. Yeah.

At the end of the episode, it doesn't seem as if these things

happen. Apparently so. Yeah, all is revealed this evening in this final

episode. All the strands come together. Everything become clear.

The red herrings are no longer red herrings. Things are real. We hope

all will be revealed in the last five minutes. That's why we booked

you for the show. You came to a sticky end last week? Eh!

Potentially. I love his face. Allot of tomato ketchup. The window needs

a good clean. Not sure with what? Aldi ketchup? Do you know what

happens in the end? When I got the script thes? Yeah. Do you know

what's going to happen tonight? I can't remember. It was such a long

time ago. When I first read the scripts, I got to episode five. Got

episode six late. Will you be watching tonight? Definitely, can't

wait. Typical actor. Wouldn't watch if he's not in it. He's not giving

anything away. There are loads and loads of murder suspects. It is like

Scooby Doo. Could it be policeman John? We know he's murdered someone?

Yeah... He's mmm. What do you mean, mmm? A potential candidate. Bad boy

Tommy Lee rows. Can't be him. He's been in prison. Amazing character.

Great character. He's become immortalised. What about teaching

assistant Francis? She's bonkers. So scary. If she was my teaching

assistant at school I would be terrified of going to school. I

thought you were going to say wife. That's going to put people off going

to school. The BBC should not be showing that. Up and down the

country saying that, I'm not going to school if the teaching

assistant's like her. It could be Neil? He comes up a lot. He's

another one. Not sure. OK. Interesting. Interesting. Isn't it

just. What's it been like you playing this dark character? Do you

leave it at work or does that sort of character stay with you? It

wasn't acting at all. I'm getting that impression. Normally, I think

when the material is quite dark or especially like this, it's usually

those are the moments Where offset, off camera, you want to laugh and

have lots of fun and muck around. Generally, that's what I do. Susan

Lynch who plays my mum, she's amazing. Sally Wainwright wanted

Susan to cry, be really emotional. She did three takes no cutting. The

relationship between you two has been amazing. Thanks, that's great.

We work hard at the bar in the hotel to get that right! We love Sarah

Lancashire. What a brilliant actress. Can you give us any secrets

about her? What does she eat in her sandwiches? Sarah was staying in an

apartment closer to the set. We were in a beautiful hotel nearby. Sarah's

really fun. Her performance is so real. She doesn't take things too

seriously. Bucks around. You've worked alongside her in this show.

Does she do anything differently when you're acting with her? Always

very different but not uncomfortably so. Not like, God, what's she doing

now, it's all very different. You don't get bored acting with her.

There are lots of surprises. You're kept on your toes. You've given

nothing away. We have a little clip for you to enjoy from tonight's

final. I want Key talk, get involved with

it. I need you to be aware. That look. The music's so so eerie.

The music's incredible. Inundated with offers? I have to keep my phone

with me all the time! I have a show coming out called The Living And The

Dead, a BBC One show some time the end of March. A Victorian ghost

story. It follows a farmer and his wife going back to his family home

and Colin Morgan plays the farmer. Charlotte Spencer plays the

farmstrress. Is that even a word? It is now. What about a third series of

Happy Valley? I hope so. It would be amazing. It's so brilliant. How long

to go before tonight's? Two hours 20 minutes and four seconds now. He

can't wait. Tonight I'll turn my phone off, give the kids to anyone

who'll have them. . Sellopating my eyes wide open for the finalaway of

Happy Valley. Let's hear it for Robert Emms.

Now, Susan Calman has been doing a great job finding out what goes

on behind the scenes at some of our best loved TV shows.

Today, she's visiting Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman

to see if she can discover the most Pointless thing about Pointless.

Today, I'm in Borehamwood to visit the studio of one of the most

popular quiz shows on TV ever. I'm on a mission to find the most

Pointless thing about Pointless. It has been on our screen since August

2009. This is pointless where the biggest scorers are the biggest

winners. They are soon to film their 1,000th episode. This is Paul, the

floor manager. He's explaining the contestants. Where the mark is. When

the first and second player goes forward. What happens on the show

when they start recording. How many times have you done that briefing?

200 or 300 times. How many episodes do you record in one day? Four.

Quite a mission but we've got it down to a tee. The mostp pointless

thing about Pointless? It is the trophy. It's tiny. Literally a

pointless trophy. This is the nerve centre of the Pointless studio.

We've people checking the answers, the producers, directors. Matt,

Hello. You have one of the most exciting jobs in television. You

control the pointless tower. I do. Can I press the button? I'll reset

the column. You select that there. There it goes!

I've heard a rumour Zandra and Richard are hanging out in dressing

room four? Hello. Hey, Susan Calman. How are you? Susan. How are you?

Hunks of men. I'm much higher. You are tiny. It is genuinely one of my

favourite shows. I've changed the way I watch things. I now watch the

credits of films in case it comes up on inp pointless. If there he's the

opening ceremony of the Olympics, look at the countries. Find the most

obscure one. I tell myself that on the podium. As Richard goes through

the pointless answers, remember that. Do I ever? Never to this day.

I have a pointles quiz about the show. Which is your favourite

podium? Two, it's tucked away at the back. Best one to be on? Four. I

think one. You get less time to think. I don't need time to think.

That tells you all you need to know about the difference between us.

What's the best contestant's name? Moira, Stuart. Do you think you

could swap jobs? I don't think we could. I'm a side kick! What is the

most pointles thing about pointless. We tried to get a catchphrase going.

"That ain't bread, that's toast! And we crack it open every now and

again. Why didn't that work out? That ain't bread... That's toast.

We're in the marquee set up. How did you get on the show? We applied with

granny. Have you found out anything pointles about pointless? The

chandelier is pretty pointless. Maybe it's for Strictly Come

Dancing. That's what it looks like on your telly and that's what it

looks like over there. They look a bit nervous. All jangling up and

down. Quick, quick, Gary Gavin. Now you're on the set. Bit nervous? Yes.

Fingers crossed for you. OK. Ready to go.

A warm welcome to pointst, the show where obvious answers mean nothing

and obscure answers mean everything. Ladies and gentlemen, the most

pointles thing about pointless is the pointless trophy. It's tiny.

I'll keep it, not like anyone was going to win it today, is it? How

How does she manage to get backstage everywhere?

Brian Conley has been in the TV business for over 30 years

and is one of Britain's best loved faces on the box.

Acting, singing, comedy, presenting - you name it, he's nailed it.

# For once in my life, I've someone who needs me

# Someone I've needed so longs # Come on, I'm only kidding. No hard

feelings. Give me a high five! Bang, bang, it's a puppet! Good evening. I

am septic Meg! Beautiful song I had the privilege of singing with

Shirley Bassey. She was on the radio, I was on the toilet!

# I'm as naked as Richard # Harold Bishop was loving that.

Please welcome the brilliant Brian Conley.

Over 0 years you have been on our TV. I nearly didn't make it. When I

was first on, someone said "Get off you fat git "Quop you don't expect

that at the school nativity. I was four years' old. How did your career

start? I used to do the TV warm-ups. I used to do it for Kenny Everitt

and Wogan and Noel Edmonds but very much the Kenny Everitt show. I did

it for all the time he was at the BBC. I was his warm-up. Comedian.

From then I got used to being in a TV studio. It is daunting place,

quite clinical. Especially in the variety era, you are looking to work

with the crowd where you have to look down the lens. I learned a lot

from Kenny. He was amazing. We do actually have a clip of one of your

first-ever TV performances. It is like This Is Your Life. In 1977. :

It is a BBC drama called Survivors. This was when you were 13. Welcome

in peace. Your guns. You being funny m' Lord. . Question questioned

whether that was you. You had more lines than that. I had a few more. I

got attacked and had to run away. I did go to stage school and I learned

to build stages! Hey. I'm buzzing. You have done so many

shows over the years. Hundreds of shows. Do you have favourites?

Obviously the Brian Connolly Show because it started off with

Dangerous Brian and Nick Fris by and Septic Peg. I enjoyed the chat show

and I enjoyed doing the Grimleys. But I think I will always be

remembered for the puppet and wherever I go. Even true, when my

daughter was born and it popped out and this little blob was there and

they were trying to get the air in and I'm anxious and worried and I go

- is it all right? And the nurse went "It's the puppet." Oh, no. Did

that really happen? I swear on their life. It happened. I actually

appeared on your show many years ago. 2001. We did the sumo

wrestling. I loved every second of this. There I am, look. Look at

that. Bang, straight on my face. A face plant. Being part of your shows

was so much fun. I loved it. I'm pleased you were a part and you were

a guest. Did I beat you? I let you. What happened to Larry the Loafer?

He is in my office. He is stuffed. Somewhere safe? Well and truly safe.

Do you watch a lot of Saturday night TV? I watch a bit. I'm currently on

tour at the moment but when I get home, I love Takeaway. I think they

do the most incredible job, and the and deck. That show is life. I love

Strictly as well. -- Ant and Dec. Light entertainment has changed over

the years. I think it has had to. What And and Dec are doing and even

Strictly, it is a light entertainment. You are back on BBC

with the second series, I love this show, The TV That Made Me. What is

this called? This is Too Much TV. I have a new series of that. I have

enjoyed that. We have had 20 guests and they talk about the shows that

influence them and the shows they watch growing up. It is like Desert

Island Disks. We have a clip from this Friday's he Dodd with Joe

Swash. He is reminiscing about a '90s' morning show the scoot big

Breakfast. There is nothing like that at the moment. I don't anything

replaced it with a high energy morning show. Do you remember at the

end of the series when they stopped it they did a competition where you

could win the house. I thought - what an amazing present? House, Joe.

Not hooos sne, That sounds disgusting. House. You win that

lovely home! Great stuff. I love him. There is a

real chemistry there. I enjoyed working with him.

Don't forget you can catch The TV That Made Me,

Everyone has a guilty pleasure that they like to watch on TV.

How They Make Things? You know that on Discovery? We talked about that

the other day. There we go. Well, what are the shows that

you maybe don't like to admit My TV guilty pleasure? I don't think

I have one. All reality shows. I'm obsessed. Celebrity Big Brother. X

Factor. I watch every episode of all of them. I think all the stuff I

watch is cool. Neighbours. I particularly like Neighbours,

because as soon as I get in from work, I have my lunch, switch on the

TV and there is Neighbours. Storage Hunters. I make my children watch it

with me. It is about finding treasure, albeit rubbish. My stuff

is koo. You couldn't make me feel guilty about what I watch. . C

beebies? Wall-to-wall. I process to dislake it but really I can sit and

watch Fireman Sam on back-to-back episodes, I love it. Geordie Shore.

I'm made to watch Hollyoaks from time to time. I thought I wasn't

going to watch it, I thought - this is awful, how can people do this?

Then I ended up doing it. The X Factor. Yeah. I don't like watching

it but I find myself always watching it. We just had twins my girlfriend

and I so we are watching a lot of the Kardashians in the house because

it is very good kind of wallpaper TV. Take Me Out, Saturday night.

Paddy McGuinness and all those ladies and the men with their

antics. Judge Judy. Emma and I never miss

Say Yes To The Dress on TLC. It's now time for the biggest

decision of the day. First up, over on

Channel 4 at 8 o'clock we've got Obsessive

Compulsive Cleaners. This is like How Clean is Your

House, but without Kim and Aggie. What you see here are people

who are obsessed with keeping their homes clean

and shiny. And they go to the houses of people

who aren't and give their homes

a good old clean. Tonight, we meet Tom,

who enjoys tidying so much This is my show bin. I bought it a

year ago. I decided it was too good to use. It is almost like they are

bubble wrapped and just kept for show. I love my hoover. You can't

actually buy these hoovers any more. Due to EU regulations they are now

limited at 1,100 watts. It is 1,900. It is so powerful, it is almost

pulling up the carpet I know it is doing a good job.

Later in the show, Tom visits Gareth's house,

Oh my giddy aunt. There is a lot of clean as he's used to.

Oh my giddy aunt. There is a lot of dust and cobwebs. Yes, cobwebs. What

are these on the floor? You don't want to know. Oh my Goddy aunt.

You don't want to know what's on the floor!

I'm on the side of messy Gareth - he's a clever man.

He gets his house cleaned for free and keeps Tom happy in the process.

I would love Tom to live with me and cover my hoover in clingfilm. I

would love it. You live in a approximately will he universe to

mine. Staying with Channel 4

a bit later at 9 o'clock, is the dating show where

if you don't find love, at least you still get a slap up

meal, it's First Dates. For nearly three years,

First Dates has been sending singletons on blind dates

to a restaurant full of cameras. Take a look at this clip

from tonight's show where Becky and Lewis meet

for the first time. Hi, I'm Lewis. I'm Becky. Drinks.

Have you been waiting long? About 10 minutes. All right. How are you

feeling? Scary. Too scary. What do you do for a living then? Well, I

kind of have two jobs like. Oh, so do I? A boring job I'm a property

manager. It is impressive. It is all right, there could be worse jobs. I

do like admin for the Institution of Mechanical Engineers. Oh, see that

is boring. Oh. I love this show. It is just

brilliant. You see obviously the awkwardness of when they first meet.

Then sometimes there is awkward dinners. But at the end they have to

sit with each other and talk about how much they like each other or

don't like each other. Do they get married? Or whether they want it

date. There has been a proposalal. Not a marriage. There is Fred, the

mate tra de. I want to go on a date with him. He is great fun. Honestly

one of my favourite shows. It is brilliant

but actually there are around 42 fixed cameras in the restaurant

That's First Dates, Channel 4 at 9 o'clock.

Finally, same time different channel, on BBC Two at 9 o'clock

is the new four-part documentary all about Barack Obama.

It's called Inside Obama's White House

and is a close-up view of the day-to-day challenges

the President faces and we get unprecedented access.

Here's an interview where Obama talks about the global financial

crisis that hit soon after he was elected.

Kew During the course of the campaign I was having fairly

constant phone calls with financial advisors. So by the time I was

President-elect, I had a good sense that they wered in midst of a major

crisis. What I wasn't aware of was how rapid the bottom would fall out.

And, of course, that lovely house is only his until November.

He has been on plenty of shows. Maybe he will come on here? We

should ask him. That's all we've got

time for tonight! Tomorrow, Sara and I will be

here with farmer Tom Heap from Countryfile and athlete turned

TV presenter Iwan Thomas. what TV theme tune will you be

playing us out with tonight? You hadder She Wrote. I still think

you did it. How long to go before Happy Valley? Which means I'm, see

you: Thank you to Brian and Robert and Aled for joining us this

evening. Remember you can e-mail us and tweet us. Have a wonderful

evening. See you tomorrow. Good night.