16/03/2016 Too Much TV

Catherine Cawood wears the trousers in Happy Valley.

Hardman Danny Dyer wears a dress in a pop video.

And just who should sit where on the BBC Breakfast sofa?

There's been a lot going on in the world of TV.

Here's your catch up from the last 24 hours.

I present your brand-new housemate. Me! I could just birds in a bleach

bubble. -- burst. Not many farmers get excited about wall. I don't

particularly care for you that much. We were in the midst of a major

crisis. If you are very proficient you can do it with two hands. They

said be yourself and I thought that is the worst thing I could do.

Hello and welcome to TMTV Coming up tonight, we're excited.

Last night's show was about dark deeds in the countryside with Happy

Valley. Well, we're keeping our wellies

on for another huge show, Countryfile - Tom Heap's

here to tell us why 7 million of you are glued to it

every Sunday night. We talk primped pooches,

endurance running and oil wrestling But don't worry, Olympic sprinter

Iwan Thomas will explain all later. Plus, we're winding the clock back

to revisit some classic TV moments on today's date 20 years ago

in Windback Wednesday. Here's a clue - crinkley

bottoms will feature. In other TV news, a huge 7.4 million

people tuned in to watch last Don't tell me anything -

I've not seen it yet! Are you the only person in Britain

who did not see it? There has been no official statement

made about a third series yet - although the show's writer,

Sally Wainwright, said earlier today I wouldn't worry too much,

because there was an 18 month gap between series one and two,

so I guess we'll all just have to try and get on with our

lives until then. A show that's looking less certain

coming back is Channel 4's The Jump. The show is apparently facing

a ?500,000 payout to the seven celebrities who were injured

during the last series. The worst was Olympic

gymnast Beth Tweddle, who was airlifted to hospital

and underwent surgery on her neck. It sounds like some big changes will

need to be made. Finally, Sylvia Anderson,

best known as the voice Sylvia co-created the huge series

with late husband Gerry Anderson. Lady Penelope was modelled

on Sylvia, and she also provided International rescue owes you a

great debt, Sir Jeremy. We are at your service. You must help me to

find the professor. Of course. We must work fast.

Not only that - she also worked on shows Stingray,

Millions of you tune in each week to see him reporting on one

of the UK's biggest shows, Countryfile.

This year he's already covered abandoned horses,

Who said life in the countryside was peaceful?

Flooding is an age-old problem and many of the solutions hark back to

how our landscape used to be hundreds, even thousands of years

ago. With predictions of more extreme weather, we need to consider

all of our options now. Even as people has different priorities in

flood defence, a consensus does seem to be emerging that working together

up and down the whole river valley is critical to keeping our feet dry.

Got the wellies on for you, Tom! Big up your bad self, Tom. And

Countryfile. You just put everybody in the ratings this weekend. What do

people love about the programme? It has been a slowing crease. It is an

old-fashioned recipe for a great telly. Brilliant camerawork from

some of the finest craft camera men and women. And I think people are

genuinely interested in the countryside. People who live lives

that are not dependent on the screen, especially as the rest of us

live in the digital world, I think people hanker after the natural, the

real, the dirty, the green. You have been involved with Countryfile for

four years. What are your best memories? I do the journalistic bit.

I get to grasp with the stories. Sometimes I feel like the four

horsemen of the Apocalypse! These things are important. They think

they are getting something real, people. Things like ash dieback,

which has the potential to really change some of the wooded landscapes

of the country. We filmed the first time the fungus was seen and

identified on the brands. Those moments make news. Just recently,

going out this weekend, we are doing a film on the impact of wind

turbines on birds. Do they knock birds out of the sky? They do. But

probably not in enough numbers to actually undermine the process. Matt

Baker has not interviewed Princess and body you have? I did. It was

interesting. I knew she was passionate about farming. I met and

asked if I would do the show. I could set I did not want to ask

about the family. What she said was quite controversial. She did. She

talked about whether gassing badgers was the best way to tackle bovine

TB. She talked about GM food. And while standing next to a horse she

talked about eating horses and said they tasted quite good. I have read

in all my life, and at the same time my father is a beef farmer, so I try

not to be too emotional. You have covered some really emotional

stories. The horse abandonment one was really something? It was really

sad. I did a programme called animal 24 - seven. I got to see some of the

horrific things we do to our animals. I was not surprised. Still

every time you see it it comes as a shock. People could not afford to

keep them are looked after the man deserted them. Yes, we have this

problem with horses been incredibly cheap, two horses for a tenner.

People do not have the money to invest in them. It is a real

problem. This is the horse. This is Huckleberry. I did not find him. The

authorities found him in a terrible condition. When we got to see him at

one of the horse welfare organisations he was in fine shape.

Extremely frisky! Do you ever get injured on the show? I have been

injured on television. I think I am the only person ever to have been

bitten by a beaver in Britain. And femoral artery in my leg. I that

story! Added that went down well at a dinner party. We are going to make

you relive the magic of that programme.

Do I need to worry about being bitten? I am glad about that. Not

entirely true then. Do not put your hand in its mouth. Basically the

chance of them biting you is very slim. You have just been bitten by a

beaver. Tom, you were wearing the same shirt! Yes, we recycle fashion.

It is a lovely shirt. Even the beaver man seemed quite frightened

of The beaver. He said, only if you put your hand in its mouth. It was

funny. I did have to go to hospital. You can imagine what fun the nurses

said when I told them I had been bitten by a beaver. You had imagined

-- managed to make soil sexy. Is that your claim to fame? It is up to

somebody else to judge whether I was successful or not. It is one of the

most important stories in the countryside, soil. It is brown dirt.

It is pretty difficult to make entertaining telly but with the help

of some great camerawork, articulates speakers and nailing

home why it is so significant for feeding not only this country but

around the world, I made it somewhat compelling viewing. Your programme

is a huge success. Let's hear it for Tom Heap!

I wish I could wear wellies all the time. I am just going to wear the

same shirt all the time. This week we sent our friend,

Funmbi Omotayo, out on the beautiful To find the public's

favourite TV talent judge. He smashed it.

I'm really nervous. I want this so bad. It is an emotional

roller-coaster but I know if I give 110% I can do this and I can go out

there and find the best TV judge. So here is today's line-up. First up

we have the most honest but nastiest man on TV, Simon Cowell. Next up we

have the wily wordsmith, will I am. We have the dancing Queen, Darcey

Bussell. Andrew Lloyd Webber. My choice of the day, Gregg Wallace.

Let me tell you... OK Birmingham, let's do this. Judge

our judges. Who is your favourite? I like well I am. He says it from his

heart. Simon Cowell. He is truthful. Simon Cowell. And his high waisted

trousers. Put your feeling on this list. What is it about Will I am? I

don't know. He is kind of hot! Out of this list, who do you fancy? Who

would you pick? What makes a good TV judge? Personality. Somebody who is

fair and to the point. What about Andrew Lloyd Webber? He is a raving

nutcase. We are trying to find out who the best TV judges are. I like

Gregg Wallace. Simon. Gregg Wallace. The votes have been cast. Results

are in. Let's find out who the winners are.

Dramatic music, please. Coming in a respectable third...

Gregg Wallace. 16% of the vote. Not bad for a greengrocer. Narrowly

missing the coveted top spot but still coming in strong at second, we

have the wonderful... William. He got 37% of the vote.

And finally, the winner, who won the hearts of the nation and probably

will be forgotten about by the time the next series rather than -- rolls

along, our winner, Simon Cowell. He got 47% of the votes.

Congratulations, Simon. You are the best of the best. But you probably

knew that anyway. He is such a humble man.

Congratulations to Simon Cowell - words I thought I'd never say.

He said, "I don't like this award - I love it!"

though Simon - that was the closest ever Best of the Best.

We all know The Voice is heading to ITV, potentially

So, Simon earns his place sandwiched between Basil Brush and Ant and Dec

But come on Great Britain - where are all the women?

Do you agree with the public, or did someone else deserve the title?

Tell us what you think at bbc.co.uk/TooMuchTV or Tweet

Now some people like to throwback, others like to flashback -

Today we're winding the clock back to this very date 20 years ago.

It was a Saturday, the 16th March, 1996.

Take That were at number one with 'How Deep is Your Love'.

I was about to start working on high brow late night political programme

Aled here was getting ready for the national tour

If you'd been sat at home watching BBC One, your Saturday Night

Hosted by comedian Jim Davidson and professional snooker player

John Virgo, this game show saw members of the public team up

with snooker stars to test general knowledge whilst the pros

?290. Such a brilliant partnership. I

watched for two reasons, John Virgo's waistcoats and all of those

trick shots. Big Break was a huge hit for 11

years and it carried Straight after Big Break

was The New Adventures of Superman, But at seven was a huge Saturday

night show - Noel's House Party. It was at Noel Edmonds'

mansion in Crinkley Bottom. This was the episode that aired this

very day 20 years ago. I loved the programme. Mr Blobby

freaked me out. Did he fall on you? That's all he did. Was he squeaky

when he fell on new? On Saturday night takeaway you can see that was

inspired by this programme. After House Party it was

the National Lottery Live hosted At 8.05 there was a brand new series

of Dalziel and Pascoe, And finishing off your Saturday

night was Match of the Day - Well, that's what happening

today in 1996. Next Wednesday we'll be winding back

the clock once more. The latest challenge was hosting

crafts. Part of a team, some would say, barking mad. -- Crufts. Trying

to get on the right side to deliver the proper instructions. What do you

think? He is not doing a bad job. Was the dog right? No. He is a great

man for tweeting. Very good. Please welcome Iwan Thomas. You did all

right. I would love to have a go at the agility. Was it as hard as he

made it look? Really hard. I had two minutes with Lollipop. Isn't it true

the dog knows what you are doing without you? It was great fun,

really good. I want to go in the relay race next year. I want to do

all of it. I will do one leg against the dog, hopefully. It is bonkers.

Anything you could imagine for your dog would be there. Everything.

Collars made of diamonds. There is a doghouse last year which was about

50 ground. A swimming pool, treadmill, for dog. Unbelievable. --

50,000. We are such a nation of dog lovers. Haven't you got a picture of

the winner? The best in show was a Westie. Just as Geordie Cabot girl

was going out, I said, good luck! Daschle -- Geordie Girl. You have a

brand-new programme coming up, Natural Born Winners. We travel the

globe and find out if we still have it. We went to Turkey, India and

Wales and lived in the culture of sports we were going to try. A week

later we attempted them and there was a really tough sports. Really

hard. To me, this looks dangerous and painful. Let's have a look at

you in action. What an opportunity! You do not get treated like this in

Southampton. I'm going to have a go at it.

Keep going to the coconuts. That looked really tough. That was not

one of the sports! It was like a demonstration. I still have the

scars. I will show you how to do it properly later on. Gareth Thomas is

still very competitive. He is a machine. He would do anything for

you but when the competition starts, he would run through a brick wall.

He has no pain. We have Donovan Bailey as well and James Toseland,

probably the most competitive. The first thing was man against horse,

21 mile marathon through the mountains of Wales. Gareth was gone

at about one mile five. He not quit. Without giving it away, he would do

anything, go through pain barriers. What about Turkey? That suited

Gareth a lot and did not suit me so much. That was Turkish wrestling. We

were wrestling against Turkish men who have been doing this since they

were children. You have to put your hand inside your opponent's has is

to flip them. If their chest faces the sun it is game over. We had a

week learning how to wrestle and turned up thinking it would be quite

tough and it was really tough. Did you get injured at all? You will

have to watch. I did. I always get injured. Unfortunately for me, nine

days before we took part in the marathon, I tweaked my hamstring. It

was emotionally tough for me. Will I make the start line or make it

round? Starting the race for me was an achievement. It sounds horrific

what used to happen with the fight in India. It is more than full

contact. A few years ago it was fight to the death. You would censor

one from your village to an opponent's village and only one

would come back. -- send someone from your village. We had to learn a

routine and fight as well. What is the point of the show? Is a winner

crowned at the end or is it each week? As lame as it sounds, it was

not a competition against the guys, it was a journey for the four other

is to travel together and learn different cultures. There is an

element of competition. Every week there will be a winner. I should

think you will be mates forever after that! That is in Japan. We had

to go to a waterfall and learn traditions of being a samurai. Just

going through routine of visualisation and almost into a

trance, I've found quite spiritual. Thank you for sharing those stories

with us. It's time for the biggest

decision of the day. Tonight on BBC 2 at 8pm,

it's Horizon - The Immortalist. This fascinating one-off

documentary follows a Russian millionaire's ambitious

plan to live forever - Meet The Immortalist. Symantec it is

too stupid. It cannot be done. -- It is too stupid. As our ability to

connect games to -- brains to technology grows, is it unreasonable

to think we can live for ever? With recent technical advances, this

could come a reality. I cannot help ring king of Futurama.

is Grantchester - a place where the death rate is so high?

I bet the residents wished they were immortal!

It's business as usual for the unlikely duo,

made up of detective Geordie and crime-solving cleric Sidney.

Tonight, a young man confesses to a murder.

I find myself in the rare position of having a crime scene, a

confession but Novick Tim. This has been rating well so far,

but the critics have been The Independent says James Norton's

"so good as a psychopath in Happy Valley,

is equally good here." The Daily Mail are less

complementry, saying it "would work better if it was a longer,

two-hour mystery like Endeavour My husband says, why are you

watching that, it is like Heartbeat? We're halfway through

the series now. So, if you want to catch up,

there's still time. If you're in the mood for something

a bit different then head over to Gold at 10

for this real gem - It's the first episode of this brand

new series that focuses on the careers of some

of our on screen national treasures. The show combines interviews

and archive material to help create a unique insight

into the lives of these absolute TV Tonight is about the one

and only Peter Sellers. He was a keen photographer and

movie-maker documenting his family life in great detail and often

adding commentary to his films. I hope you are interested in this. I

can assure you absolute economy. Open the door, pulled down and in

you get. I am sure you will find it absolutely first class. I absolutely

adore that old footage. Other stars featured in the series

include Frankie Howerd, Julie Walters, Sir Bruce Forsyth

and Kenny Everett - That's the Interviews

on Gold at 10. That's all we've got

time for tonight! Aled and Emma are back

here at the same time tomorrow, with the King of the Eggheads

himself - Jeremy Vine. But before we go, what TV theme tune

are we going to play A huge thank you to our

guests this evening. Enjoy your evening and tell us

what you think about all of tonight's telly

on bbc.co.uk/toomuchtv or tweet us