29/03/2016 Too Much TV

If you're in a slump after the Easter weekend,

then stick with us, because we've got

the perfect show to put a smile on your face!

Raised By Wolves star - the hilarious Helen Monks

the comedy legend that is Dave Spikey!

Aled has been practising his special party trick. And you definitely

don't want us to bring that out, do you?!

Coming up tonight, we talk fat suits and Shakespeare

with the star of one of Channel 4's funniest sitcoms

The laughs continue when we meet the man responsible

for co-creating the award-winning Phoenix Nights -

Plus, it's TV cooks battling it out in tonight's best

of the best - our very own funnyman Funmbi Omotayo is in the studio

It has been annouced that Dermot O'Leary is dusting

off his dancing shoes and returning to ITV as the host

replacing Olly Murs and Caroline Flack.

I am really pleased for Dermot. Also good to know that Simon has forgiven

him for saying that Strictly was his favourite programme.

Louis Walsh is rumoured to be returning as a judge as well -

And how about you?! And also... And moving on! I like the fact they are

going back into rooms for the auditions. Me, too.

If you love dating shows like Take Me Out

but want to see even more, then prepare yourselves

for Channel 4's new show - Naked Attraction.

Two words which don't go together if you are over 40.

Hosted by Anna Richardson, the show will see contestants get

Instead of meeting potential partners clothed, contestants

will make decisions based on what they look like naked.

What an idea! Would you present this? Clothed, I might! Where would

they put the microphones?! Shall we move on? We have got a little clip

for you... No, not really. Naked Attraction is due

to air later this year. Congratulations to motorcyclist Guy

Martin, who smashed this record live on Channel 4 last night. The reached

speeds of 70.33mph to break the record. And then he topped that by

hitting 78.15mph on his second go. He actually wanted to go a third

time but they would not let him. I was watching it and of course, on

telly it does not look so fast. I was thinking, I could go faster than

that! Obviously, I couldn't! There's a lot of hype

surrounding this young lady. She's currently starring as Germaine

in the brilliant sitcom If you haven't heard

of Helen Monks yet, That is not my name, call 999! My

name is Germaine! I can do my sexy librarian bit... This just in -

Calum is coming over to meet you all. My Magnum man! It is just

hilarious! Congratulations on Raised

by Wolves, it's hilarious. For anyone who hasn't seen it,

can you give us a rundown? Raised by Wolves is

a semi-autobiographical series, set on a Wolverhampton

council estate. The script was written

by Caitlin Moran and her sister It is about Deller and all of her

children. And they were quite hands-on with

it? Yes, obviously, they wrote it, and Caz was on set every single day.

Caitlin is famously the busiest woman in the industry. She was

always on the end of Skype. The sexy librarian dance, she actually Skype

it in how to do that, which I hate telling people because I want to

take credit for it but...! Right down to the finger on the lips, she

knew exactly what she wanted. So are you an unofficial member of their

family now, then? Highlight to think so. When you are filming it, you are

asking a lot of personal questions about their lives and their

childhood, which is bizarre. You were a super fan anyway. How did you

get the part? By obsessed about Caitlin, to the point where I

subconsciously based my entire appearance and world views on her.

And then I went to one of her book launches, for her anthology, and I

ran up to her to get my book signed. She said, you look a lot like me. I

said, well, I should play you. I had heard that she was writing a sitcom.

She said, yes, you should! I ended up getting the part! It really did

happen. What could have ended in a restraining order... I am really

glad YOU said that! Amazing! I also love the story, when you went to the

audition, you took a fat suit with you? Yes, my brother... Because it

is semiautobiographical, she was 16 stone when she was 16. It was just a

week before the audition, I thought, I cannot eat that much cheese. My

brother coincidentally had bought a woman's really professional fitted

woman's fat suit. Why? For parties! So I took that in a bag and I said,

I could put this on if you like. I don't know if that was the clincher.

I hope it was my acting - is that the one you used on the series? We

used it for the pilot. There I am. It is quite funny, there is a bit of

a boob malfunction there. But I always think, one is bigger than the

other in real life! What is it like wearing that? It is amazing. It is

four stone in real life. At first I thought it would be a problem but it

is amazing as it means you properly walk like her. I never feel more

attractive than when I am Germaine. I was really worried about doing the

second series because of how popular this first had been. At as soon as I

had my boobs and my balm on, I was ready to go. Like me, you look a lot

younger than you actually are. And I am about to play another series

where I am 13. " Stories that this is going to America, is it

confirmed? I heard it on Twitter! I think they are in talks at the

moment. Will you do it? No, you're kidding! I cannot do an American

accent. Oh, no! The only thing, I always end up going very southern.

Like, there is an alligator in the house. I really hope there are no

casting directors watching this! I could do it if I had a coach! That

is what they do, isn't it, in the South?! So who could play her, do

you think? I would love it to be Amy Schumer, she is my comedy hero. It

will not be her but it would be great. We can have a look... Look at

that. As if by magic! I would love her! One day I will merge! So, you

have got lots coming up. Just going back to something you were saying,

you are playing a 13-year-old. You look young enough but what is that

project? It is a new Ben Elton sitcom for BBC Two, with David

Mitchell playing the part of William Shakespeare. It is called Upstart

Crow. I am playing his daughter, Susanna, who is very grumpy. I told

you! You do not look happy! They say this will be the new Blackadder. We

have been banned from using that word, but I think it will be, yes,

definitely! Sorry! I remember at school we used to watch Blackadder

as a treat at the end of term. It is so educational but also so funny. It

really demystifies Shakespeare. You are doing so much. And you are

studying as well, which is unbelievable. Yes, sort of. Hard

time, I am doing a masters degree with the Open University. I keep

forgetting I am doing that. Time now to crown the latest winner

of Too Much TV's Best So far, Simon Cowell,

Ant and Dec and Basil Brush have all been awarded TV's

most respected accolade. But who will be joining

them this week? Please welcome the man

with all the answers, You are a real person! It is nice

finally to be here! Does that mean I get a pay rise? No, not at all. Last

time I saw you, you were on a horse! So what's the category

this week, Funmbi? TV cooks. Some people who did not

make the list are still very top chefs. People like list. Delia Smith

did not make the list. Jamie Oliver, just the one we went with first.

Amazing chef. Sold more than 7.3 million cookery books.

James Martin, who recently made a tearful farwell

It was a sad moment for all Saturday Kitchen lovers. Next up, Gordon

Ramsay. Top chef, six Michelin stars at the moment. He is a top chef so

he had to make the list. Next was Nigella Lawson. Why not? She has

actually cooked for George W Bush. I wonder what she made! How did you

find that out? And last but not least, the lovely Mary Berry. A

aching genius. 50 years in the game! Amazing. She was our last choice. It

was a very tough competition. Such a tough group. I would hate to pick

any of them. They are all brilliant. But let's see what the great British

public had to say when you hit the streets of Brixton.

Are you ready, Brixton? What do you think makes a good TV chef? A a bit

of eye own. Someone with character, someone who cooks something fast. I

like Jamie Oliver, I like his honesty. I have got a soft spot for

Mary Berry, she makes it easy, she does not go too fast. Jamie likes

telling you he can do everything in ten minutes, but most people can't.

So many people think you can't do it in 15 minutes, but you really can. I

like Jamie Oliver the best. He is a bit of a cheeky chirpy. Happy days.

Gordon Ramsey, too angry. He is a bit dramatic. But we love him! A

little bit of that! Think about it, yes? I think he is entertaining.

People like it, though. That is what makes him him. For me, James Martin.

Nigella is good for other reasons! That is a big heap of gorgeousness

there. This is what you really want. Four tablespoons of salad cream... I

think a lot of people are attracted to her. And her food looks amazing.

Do you like her food? I like her food and I love the way she looks.

That is it for me. She does it for me as well. You only get to pick

one, I'm afraid! Good stuff! A lot of opinions! I like that. Brixton

knows its food. Who is your favourite? Jamie Oliver. He teaches

people a more realistic way of cooking. Nutritious, delicious

meals. Who are you feeling on my list? I am feeling Mary Berry. Why?

She is just, you know, I like a grandma that bakes me... I really,

really like that. I am going to go for Jamie. -- James. The moment has

come for me to hang up my Saturday Kitchen apron strings for the very

last time. He is moving on. What is he moving on to?! I tell you what,

they took it really seriously. I like that. It is massively tough. I

know. I adore Jamie Oliver. I love Gordon Ramsay.

The time has finally come for to reveal the Best of the Best

Who is the winner, Mary Berry or Jamie?

I'm not sure. OK, I will put you out of your misery. Can we get a drum

roll, please, guys? And there he is, next to Basil

Brush. Before you go, there's one more

Best of the Best you need to award - I wanted to say it was a hard

decision, but it really wasn't. The winner is,.

I'd like to thank my manager, my family and all of my fans.

It is just so special to me! You enjoy that. There we go. Big thanks

to Funmbi, you always been my least favourite comedian.

Time now to meet our next guest, he's one of the funniest men

hit comedy Phoenix Nights, playing crooner Jerry St Clair.

How could we forget the Black Bin Bag song?

#, and get your lack beanbags. Thereon offer until December. #, and

get your black bin bags. They are long and black and slender. # Heavy

duty black bin bags. # no matter what your gender.

Please welcome, Bolton's finest, Dave Spikey!

Phoenix Nights was such a popular show, do you have fond memories

It was wonderful, 12 or 13 years ago but we got 15,000 people in in a

night and when you are making it you don't realise it. It was such good

fun. We were all mates. Peter cast a lot of comedians without any

accidents -- actors, and the continuity went overboard. You have

no idea about holding the things right, and the outtakes are as long

as the DVD. How did you get anything done? It is difficult but when you

get on the set, as you know, there are the constraints of finance and

people getting a bid for long, so you have to get it right, -- a bit

full on. It only takes one people to laugh. What I love is that you

brought in this book, and it's almost like this is your life, and

it had ideas for In the Club. It was formed from the first Peter Kay

series which was spoof documentaries, and the first one was

about the club. We decided if there was going to be a series, it would

be that. Those are my original notes, from 2000. Handwritten staff.

Look at that. I was broadly still in the hospital when I was in that. --

probably still in the hospital. This should be in a museum. There is one

idea we never used and you can always reuse things, but we had an

idea for a stripper's night. Those sort of clubs, they have them on

Sunday afternoons, of all times, that the fellas on a Sunday

afternoon. There were notes from every club we went to, doing the

research and great lines. We went for a club and they booked the

strippers but they got male strippers, so two blokes turned up,

and get this, they were called Vulcan and vertigo. I don't know

why. Vertigo? Don't let him get on the table. What about your character

Jerry? He is an amalgam of compere or vocalists you have ever seen. You

go to club and they have the pictures outside, the compere, and

if you are a guitarist vocalists, they have their own terminology. He

is an amalgam. Everywhere I go in the country they always say I based

on the compere at the British Legion, so it means you got it

right. You did not sing this. That was my biggest fear. I had to

audition for Jerry because I had never acted properly, and some might

say not since. But that was my biggest fear because I've never sung

karaoke or anything in public before there was so much to sing, ranging

from Chennai at Wayne, singing the most inappropriate things -- Shania

Twain. It must have been lovely when you got back together with Peter Kay

for comic relief. You raised an amazing amount of money. We just had

the best time. I do get goose bumps. Backstage and onstage. Waiting to go

back on stage as Jerry, with the white tuxedo, going on and singing

Brimful of Asher. 15,000 people doing it and singing the thing about

black bin bags and corned beef. Comedy writer, comedian, and you are

on tour and you have done so much, but we want to talk about game show

hosting. Chain Letters. How did that come about? I did the warm up for

one of the series and the producer asked me to audition. They were

having an different host every series. I went to the audition and

got the gig. I had to take two or three weeks off work and we did five

shows a day and it was the days before the autocue and there were

five cameras and three contestants with funny stories, I collect ducks,

all that sort of thing. You had to remember who went first in which

around, and I wasn't ready for it. What makes a good game show host? It

is nerve wracking being in the studio, but being a contest you are

a fish out of water. The host has to make you feel at home. You have to

do your research and look at the stories in the background and bring

those into the conversation and get them to relax. We were thinking who

were our favourites? First up man, a bit like you, all-rounder, training

to be a great game show host. Best remembered for the price is right,

Leslie Crowther, come on down! Pauline, brace yourself, because if

you win the next game, you will quite definitely be riding around

the streets of Southend-on-Sea, Lord help it, combat. ?100 -- on that. A

patio set, a vacuum cleaner, and the marauder caravan, it is all yours.

Come on down, the price is right. So stylish though, wasn't he? He was

the consummate game show host. A very nice man. I did some warm-ups

for him. A good guide. Next up, the Queen of mean, and Robinson. She

might have only hosted the Queen -- the weakest Link, she had a way of

shutting everybody else up. Why were you so bad in that round? Zippy, why

is it that you never let George speak? Do you know what I am going

to do? George, this is especially for you. Because we all want to hear

George and there is nothing that you all day long -- there is nothing but

you all day long. She tried to put the Welsh in room 101. We should

have the list. Chris Tarrant, an guy. -- an amazing guy. He got too

nice in Deal or no Deal. There's only a certain number of prizes, and

then you have to steal them of people. You don't necessarily want

the prize, you just don't want them. Will you be singing in this? I won't

be singing in that. Are you watching any TV at the moment? I just

finished the Night Manager, but I also like Doctor Thorn. To have him

as the evil character and then be the lovely character on the other.

And Happy Valley. Thanks for coming on the show. Give it up for Dave

Spikey. Thank you so much. Time now for the biggest

decision of the day. We start on a channel called Spike,

at 9, for a new series called Wicked This US reality show follows fishing

crews in search of the ocean's most Tonight, we see the captains gamble

everything for the chance to hook a monster which could sell

for an incredible $20,000. Go, go, go. Get him, get him, get

him. Basta, bring it around. We are going to lose him. --

you didn't see him pop off? Of course I did. That's part of the

game. This is a show that reels you win. -- you in.

This show isn't going to float everyone's boat but if you like fish

and heavy metal, I suggest checking it out.

If you don't fancy the fish course, then how about dessert?

Head over to BBC 2, at 8, for a brand new series

Toby Earle told us about this one last week.

There's not a soggy bottom in sight as groups of professional pastry

chefs go head to head in this Bake Off spin-off.

Tonight the teams take on the first Showpiece dessert.

This is the power structure, what the desert will sit on. Nobody touch

the table. 16 minutes left. It is a source, bit like a custard. I will

add the eggs to the sugar until they are cooked. Then I will add the

Calvados. It should be served just warm. Time to start taking the

apples out. This is an electric spray gun and we made a mixture of

chocolate and cocoa butter and we will spray the apples with green

chocolate spray and it will have a velvet look. I am starving now. That

is my idea of heaven but they would hate me, because I would go round

licking all the bowls. Dame Berry is taking

a breather and there's no The show is hosted by Michelin

starred chef Tom Kerridge. Apparently he has lost ten stone.

Unbelievable. It's not just the hosts that

are different, there's no tent. They are not cooking under a tent,

it is in a massive mansion. The show features 15 teams of three

going up against each other. Brilliant show. Looking forward to

it. That's at eight o'clock. That's all we've got

time for tonight! But before we go, what theme tune

are we playing out with tonight? I'll be back tomorrow with Sara,

where we'll be joined by the priceless Eric Knowles

from Antiques Roadshow, and Chris Hollins is here to tell us

about his new series, Plus Susan Calman raids the archives

to show you why you should never