Episode 3 Top Gear USA

Now on Top Gear, we find out how much car you can get for 1,000.

Air conditioning doesn't work, that window doesn't go down.

We welcome a Modern Family man on our track.

Unleash.

He's going way too fast!

And we go back to the roots of NASCAR.

Welcome to Top Gear.

On this show, nobody will get a makeover,

we will find nobody here named Snooki,

but if you love cars, you're in the right place.

I'm Adam Ferrara, that's Tanner Foust,

and this is Rutledge Wood.

Now, we all know the economy is in the tank.

People are tightening their belts, cutting out luxuries,

getting back to basics.

And that gave our producers an idea.

The average cost of a car in the US is just under 29,000.

But what could you get if you spent less?

Much less.

So they gave us 1,000,

told us to go out and buy the best car that we could find.

Then, we were all to meet in a small town in North Carolina.

They handed us a series of challenges to figure out who got the best deal.

Our meeting place - North Wilkesboro, North Carolina,

the heart of the rural South.

Since this challenge was in my backyard,

I was the first one to arrive.

This is the 1987 Ford Thunderbird Turbo Coupe.

It was it was Motor Trend's car of the year for 1987

and really, it was the first time that we saw

the ideas of Japanese and German engineering come together

to work in an American car.

And I got it for 1,000 bucks!

HORN BEEPS

Tanner rolled up next.

Is it my high school science teacher?

What are you driving?

1987 300ZX.

Nissan's foray into the sports car world in the US,

-and the ideal road trip car.

-You know we're in the South, right?

-Yeah, that's why I don't want to get stuck...

-Pride of America, and you show up in a Nissan?!

-It's reliable.

-Is it female? I noticed it's been wearing a bra for a long time.

Maybe it is. You, on the other hand, are in trouble.

What is in there?

It's custom, it's a custom interior, it was really hard to find like that.

There's a fuel pump.

-16-inch aftermarket alloys.

-And somebody's sweatpants - are those yours?

No, but they're nice, they're all-cotton.

-They've got blood and grease on them.

-Oh, no, that's just years of performance and power.

Don't tell me that's what I think it is.

Holy crap, it's a Coupe de Ville!

Huh?!

I worry about Adam sometimes.

Wow.

Ha-ha!

Oh, wow!

1976 Cadillac Coupe de Ville.

Gentlemen, this is a sign of prestige and class, as you can plainly see,

and the end of an era.

This is the last of the big Cadillacs.

In 1977, all the Caddies got smaller,

and Elvis died on the toilet.

Wow.

No offence to Elvis,

but there's a reason both of those things happened.

There is some grandfather wandering around right now lost,

looking for his baby.

Did you see this?

That's a real positive.

A full-size spare.

-A rear-view, in case you want to look...

-Yeah, I need that, give me this.

-You may want that.

This was the finger-pincher, that would clip people's fingers off. Close that...

Wait, wait! Watch how you close it.

You don't want to catch your fingers, because it has...

-Get your fingers in there...

-..a motor.

-It's properly got, what, 400 under the hood?

-Five, my friend. Five.

-500 cubic inches.

-500 cubic inches.

-Really?

You better start buying gas cans now.

The smart move was that you brought an American car.

Tanner made the real bad move of bringing that

Japanese hunk of crap over there.

That's cos I wanted to get there - look at this thing!

You paid 1,000 bucks for this?

1,000 bucks, and it's the best value here.

This car weighs 5,000 pounds

-That's 20 cents a pound.

-Pretty good deal.

That is terrible logic!

'Logic? No, this was strategy.

'I knew this Caddy could take whatever ridiculous challenge the producers threw at us.'

"To find out which is the best 1,000 car,

"you'll put them through the ultimate test of drivability,

"durability and manoeuvrability -

"moonshine running."

Back in the day, moonshine runners

had to be fast, reliable, and agile,

to outrun the revenuers.

In their off-days, moonshiners would race each other,

which led to the beginnings of NASCAR.

Load up your trunks with bottles of grain alcohol and head across town for your first challenge.

Adam, I'm going to help you with your hood, it looks funny.

No, don't, what are you doing?!

-Go, go.

-Give me that!

I don't have it, man!

HORN BEEPS

I knew a guy that could get us some grain alcohol.

Along the way, I learned that when it comes to 1,000 cars,

you get what you pay for.

Now, when the turbo kicks in, it sounds fine...

..I just...

Because the speedometer quit working,

I can't tell how fast I am going.

In '87, the Thunderbird set the fastest lap in NASCAR history

- 212.8 mph, with Bill Elliott at the wheel.

My coupe has heritage.

I love this car. It reminds me of when I was a kid.

My father always had a Cadillac,

and that was the car we took on vacation.

We used to camp at Lake George, New York,

and it was a five-hour trip from our house on Long Island.

I could sleep on the back deck, right below the rear-view window.

So, for 1,000, I got a Cadillac.

I knew it was going to be comfortable,

I knew the ride would be smooth,

and I knew it was built like a tank.

But there are a few things that don't work.

The air conditioning doesn't work, that window doesn't go down,

the glovebox doesn't close,

and there's a small, tiny exhaust leak.

HE COUGHS

My air conditioning does work,

that is a huge bonus,

because it is hot and humid out there.

The clutch feels pretty good, radio's on internal seek,

as it should be,

The dome light is eternally on, maybe...

Little bit of a vibration up front. Transmission...

.. not so good.

Horsepower...

I don't think we're clicking on all six cylinders,

it really wouldn't even climb that last hill.

I don't think we're going anywhere fast.

Rutledge led us to a shady barn

in the middle of nowhere.

-How many do we have to pack in?

-100.

100!

That would be 25 gallons.

OK.

Oh, Adam, are you going to be able to get out of here?

That boat, she's laying anchor, my friend.

-THUD!

-Yep, that is the ground right there!

Thanks to Rutledge's kinfolk,

each of our cars was loaded with 100 quarts of white lightning,

and at over 50% alcohol,

it was the highest octane fuel these cars had ever carried.

Ow!

'We were asked to drive 50 miles outside of North Wilkesboro

'for our first challenge.'

Adam, how's that land yacht doing?

It looks like you laid anchor with that hitch back there.

All this weight does not make a bit of difference in this car, my friend.

My car drives even better with the weight in the back.

I feel much more secure now.

You keep thinking that.

There's your car right up there.

I can hear your bottles clinking every time you cue the microphone.

That is because they're in the car with me.

You guys have the luxury of having all of that flammable liquid contained in a trunk.

You should light up a cigarette, it'll relax you.

If you need a cigarette, I got several thousand butts in this one.

'We arrived at our first challenge - an eight-mile stretch in the woods.'

"Legendary moonshine runner, turned NASCAR champion, Junior Johnson,

"is credited with inventing the bootleg turn,

"where a driver escapes his pursuer by putting his car

"into a 180-degree turn,

"then speeding off in the opposite direction.

"Cars must go to the marker, execute a bootleg turn,

"and race back to the start line. Fastest time wins."

'J-turns required a handbrake,

'this is a perfect challenge for my car,

'but the 400 pounds of hooch could be problematic.'

I think if I get on the grass a bit,

that'll make it nice and smooth for those bottles back there.

Three, two, one, go!

Come on, baby.

First gear.

Oh, he is in the ground!

Oh!

Oh, wow.

Come on, baby, come on!

-How did he do?

-17.72.

Three, two, one, go!

'It was my turn to show the Yankee and the drifter

'how we do it down south.'

Oh, my God, I can hardly watch!

I think he hit the wrong brake.

He's still going into the river.

Come on! Come on!

26 seconds even.

This is going to help.

You got this, buddy, no problem.

-Go big, or go home. Ready?

-30-point turn, coming up.

Three, two, one, go!

He is so dead right now.

Oh, my gosh.

Look at the speed.

-He had it going.

-He did. I thought he was going to do it.

Here, step back.

He smoked ya.

He smoked ya!

'But Adam's reckless driving cost him.'

Wait a minute! What's that down there?

-It looks like you got 50 or 60...

-Just a little bit.

-Let me investigate. Step back.

-Oh, there it is!

It's right there.

Bonnet's coming down!

"Congratulations on completing your first day.

"Since moonshiners often spent the night

"sleeping in their cars out in the woods,

-"to evade the authorities..."

-What?

-"..you'll be doing the same."

Son of a... That sounds awesome, moonshiners!

-Those seats don't even recline that far.

-Oh, that sucks so bad.

We were weighed down by 25 gallons of booze.

During the journey to the campsite

our cars were really starting to show their true...

value?

Oh, my gosh, I can't even make it up this hill.

That hill was a little steeper than it looked, huh?

This car is getting hotter and hotter by the minute.

If anyone's curious, I'm trying the old heater-on trick -

Which is great. It's only...

I dunno, 90 degrees in the car already.

I'm going to have to slow down this sucker,

we are hauled away in the route.

I'm going to have to pull over.

'Rutledge's car was having some issues,

'so we decided to give him a hand.'

Do you feel guilty leaving him back there? I don't think we had an option, really.

I felt a little guilty, but it went away very quickly.

How much do you want to bet that Rutledge gets put up by, like, a sweet old grand-lady?

He's going to, "Yes, m'am" his way into a shower and a bed.

'As we neared our campsite,

'Rutledge was still somewhere in rural North Carolina

'bonding with his Turbo Coupe.'

Oh!

Bone dry!

'No wonder my engine was overheating-

'the thermostat was stuck.'

There's got to be something in here

to put a hole in that thermostat.

A textbook - that won't help.

That could work.

There we go.

'I had to sacrifice some of my rocket fuel for dirty puddle water

'to fill my radiator.'

That should be fine. It's an '87, who cares!

I'm pretty sure that we're kind of getting duped a little bit here.

-Moonshiners - why would they stay in their cars?

-They got stuck?

-No.

-No.

-They were like masters of not getting stuck.

-At least I've got a comfortable car to sleep in.

-You're going to sleep sitting up.

-Thanks for reminding me.

No way is that Rutledge.

-Hey, fellas.

-We're just saving you a seat here.

-How are you, pal?

Aw, thanks, I could use one,

I've been working a little bit.

You know, I didn't want to leave you.

Really? I didn't get that same feeling

We were so happy to see Rutledge,

we broke out the good stuff.

Clink.

-Oh, my God.

-HE CHOKES

That is so smooth!

Mmm, mmm!

That's awesome.

Oh, it's burning so much.

Right in here.

HE CHOKES

Do you need somebody to hold your hair?

HE COUGHS

Ohhh!

Hey, I went and checked - that wasn't a bear I heard.

-Aw!

-Yeah, take a big old...

Oh! It does kind of sting a little bit.

-Do you think it's flammable?

-Yes.

Oh, you're going to spit on it? Hell, yes!

-Ohhh!

-Oooh!

-Ah!

-HE GAGS

Take it!

Oh, oh! It burns my whole face.

I think my beard's fallen out.

This is fun.

I am the God of hellfire.

Oh!

THEY LAUGH

-Why don't you spit on the fire all day, tough guy?

-Fire!

You know the scariest thing though, right? Sasquatch.

Cannonball, coming at you.

I'm going to die!

Why d'you say that to my face?

THEY LAUGH

Oh!

'Camping turned out to be pretty fun.'

-I think it's time for me to retire.

-Good night.

'Thanks to our liquid dinner, we would have no trouble

'sleeping in our cars.'

Good night, ants.

Damn...car.

-HORN BEEPS

-Sorry

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That was pathetic

That is the worst stuff I've ever put in my body.

-It's like liquid devil.

-You're from the South, I thought they breast-fed you on moonshine?

Live and learn - Rutledge is just a big wuss.

OK. Well, it's no news to us.

In the news... Have you guys heard about the new Porsche 918 concept car?

-Mm-hmm.

-Pretty impressive.

3.4 litre, 500 horsepower motor,

but it also has an electric motor that puts out 218 horsepower.

They think, combined, it'll do 198 mph,

and get 78 miles per gallon.

I'm kind of all over this, I think it's pretty cool.

When you hear "hybrid", I would rather think about that,

-than the terrible Prius, but...

-LAUGHTER

I still don't think accountants would drive this,

I think they'll probably just stick to the Prius.

-It's a beautiful...

-No, Enron accountants would drive this.

-Yes.

But Porsche isn't the only one, the Italians are doing it as well.

This isn't a concept -

there is actually an electric Lamborghini that you can buy now.

-So, do you want to see it?

-Yeah.

There it is. LAUGHTER

-Wait, that's THE Lamborghini?

-That is the Lamborghini.

One of his sons, I think it was Zeppo Lamborghini,

said "Daddy, I want to make a chainsaw",

and he's like, "All right, go and make a chainsaw"

So that's the electric Lamborghini chainsaw.

Some good news, though. In Nevada, there's a guy - Eugene DiSimone

-He looks like a Eugene, doesn't he?

-Yes, he does.

His political platform that he's standing on,

is that he's going to make it legal to drive 90 mph

for 24 hours if you pay 25 bucks.

-25 bucks for 24 hours, you can drive at 90 mph?

-Yes.

-What do you think of that?

-THAT is awesome!

CHEERING

You could go 90 mph anywhere you want?

For 24 hours.

Can you imagine going 90 mph down the Vegas strip at night

watching the lights go over?

It is on the freeway.

But yes, that would be pretty awesome.

You could go 90 mph through a drive-thru.

What do you think that works out to be per year?

Like, eight grand. A little more than eight grand.

Who would've thought a guy with a moustache

-could come up with such a good idea.

-LAUGHTER

OK, there's a company in San Francisco,

they did a study on the cars most likely to get tickets,

and the cars least likely to get tickets.

We'll start with most likely.

You will be most likely to get a ticket in a Toyota Camry Solara.

Which makes no sense to me,

you shouldn't get a ticket,

you should get a trophy if you can speed in that thing.

A Scion tC

And the Hummer. You're most likely to get a ticket in a Hummer.

Now, the cars you are least likely to get a ticket in

is the Mazda Tribute, the Kia Spectra.

LAUGHTER

Ha-ha, that's for sure!

The Buick LaCrosse...

and the Buick Rainier.

-Least likely to get a ticket.

-I think that's probably

because most people who have Buick's are just about to die.

-Yes.

-Their slogan should be, "Buick - how's your hip?"

-"Buick - your turn signal's on."

-THEY LAUGH

"Buick - it worked for Tiger Woods."

AUDIENCE GROANS

APPLAUSE

Right, I've got something I want to show you guys.

It's right over here

So this is the 2012 Mustang Boss 302.

It's built basically off a Mustang GT,

so it's the 5.0,

but this one's been massaged -

new heads, new valve train, new intake, new pistons.

All that together is good for 440 horsepower,

but the best part is that it redlines at 7,500 rpm.

-That's a lot for a V8.

-Yeah.

Now, this is the Laguna Seca edition,

that means they were trying to beat the time of the M3, which they did.

They started with a set of R compound tyres,

and built the suspension around that.

So in this one, you've got adjustable shocks,

stiffer roll-bars,

you've got a backseat rear-delete with a huge crossbar.

-I mean, this is a real race car.

-With a live rear axle?

Yeah, hell yes.

I think it's cool,

but... Just that all mustangs look the same to me.

There's 98 different versions of the Mustang you can get,

different packages, the Super Snake, the Super-whatever.

This one - it looks the same as the rest of them.

How can it look the same?

You've got 19s on it, it's got 14-inch Brembos on it, the same size as the Dodge ACR.

A huge real splitter, not just for looks.

Now, the ACR does have them on the back also, what does that one have?

-Slightly smaller. This has Recaros.

-LAUGHTER

It's got a six-speed short-shift, this is a real stout car.

I see that they've done some stuff here,

this is a pretty bona fide splitter, goes all the way back.

That's a Ford racing catalogue part.

That's a real splitter.

But it's a foot off the ground

which means that it will do almost nothing.

-Why are you such a snob?!

-You're upset that it beat the M3.

Because this car can actually get in your driveway,

it's a real race car that you can really drive.

But the sound is my favourite,

-do you guys want to hear it?

-AUDIENCE: Yeah!

Now, keep in mind...

..this is totally stock.

They have exhausts that will come out the back

and they've got turn-downs.

ENGINE REVS LOUDLY

APPLAUSE

Our guest tonight stars in the hit show Modern Family,

please help me welcome Ty Burrell.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-I like this, I like it.

-You like that? You know where that's from?

-Is it from that Coupe de Ville?

-No, it's not from that Coupe de Ville!

-That is from a Grand Cherokee.

-Really?

Yeah, it was parked in the lot this morning.

-Nice.

-Thank you for being here.

-Thanks for having me.

You're having an amazing year.

-You guys won an Emmy, Modern Family's won an Emmy, right?

-Yeah.

-You were nominated too.

And Entertainment Weekly called this gentleman right here,

"This season's break-out comedy actor."

You deserve all that stuff. A great year, now you're in an aeroplane hangar sitting on stolen seats.

-Come on!

-See how fickle showbiz can be, my friend?

-That's right.

So you guys had a car on the show, you had a Country Squire Wagon?

Yes, it's a gigantic station wagon,

with the fake wood panelling and everything.

The family has this car, and they can't get rid of it.

They're trying to sell it, but the sentimental value is too high.

So they take it out for one last sort of picnic,

and it ends in complete catastrophe,

with the car going over the edge of a hill. And...

We do that here a lot.

So it was really a blast to shoot.

-At the same time, I was buying a 1965 Volkswagen Beetle...

-Uh-huh.

..from a guy who was having a very difficult time letting go of it.

I called him and said, "I'm really interested in the Beetle",

-and he started to interview me.

-To buy the car?

To buy the car. He literally was asking me questions

-to see if I was up to purchasing the car.

-Were you buying it, or adopting it?

-Yeah!

He really was like, "What do you plan on using the car for?"

I would like it to travel from one place to another,

that would be great.

So, I finally passed muster and then he said,

"OK, but I'm going to actually need, before you pick up the car,

"I'm going to need a weekend with the car."

I think his words were, "I need take it out for a beer."

I'm trying to send him pictures and stuff,

-and let him keep in touch.

-Oh, that's nice!

Does he have visitation? Is he allowed to come out?

-We're working with the State of California on that.

-Very good.

-And that's your daily driver?

-Yeah.

-That is very safe.

-Yeah!

Trust me, I do nothing but drive this car when I'm driving.

It's not like a modern car

where people text and drive, or talk on the phone and drive, or whatever.

so I'm literally doing this,

and pulling a series of pulleys and flaps.

And, you know, it's like, you DRIVE.

-Were you always a Volkswagen guy?

-Yeah, yeah.

I was looking for a Beetle, because that was the car we had when I was a kid. It was largely sentimental.

-So how do you think you did on the lap? You want to look?

-I'm very curious.

If it would hold true to my normal driving,

I would think it was pretty slow,

-But I don't know, we'll see.

-OK, you guys want to see the lap?

AUDIENCE: Yeah!

Let's take a look.

There are dozens of horsepower.

Unleash.

That was such a little-ole-lady start.

Nothing like driving with wipers on

to make you feel like a race car driver.

Safety first, we like that.

This is the Teardrop - the slowest part of the track.

-And I made it slower.

-No!

Look at that.

Feeling...

..raw...

fear.

I mean, power.

This is the quickest part of the track.

Look at that, you're hitting that nice.

# Do not get too close Camera people

# Don't get too close to me. #

That's very sweet, you're singing a warning.

Are you coming into Cameraman's Curve?

-Oh!

-Yeah, exactly.

For the first time in my life I feel alive.

This is the final corner right here...

There you go, you're getting on it now.

Nice finish across the line!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well done.

Now, that was a wet lap.

-We do mark it as a wet lap.

-Right.

-I can almost guarantee that you will be somewhere in the top three.

-Yes!

Where do you think you came?

Uh... I'm going to say 2.45.

Well you did it...in 1...

-..40...

-Oh.

..6...

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-..0.6.

-0.6.

1.46.06 -

and it was a wet lap, so we're going to put you here,

but that was a wet lap.

You're above an astronaut, and below a hobbit.

All right!

And you were a great guest. Thank you for being here.

-Thanks so much.

-Ty Burrell!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Welcome back to Top Gear.

Tonight, we're finding out just how much car you can buy for 1,000,

by taking three bargain-basement rides

and putting them through the ultimate test -

that is, of course, moonshine running.

Yeah, to get away from revenuers, moonshiners had to have cars

that were fast, agile and reliable,

and thanks to those early moonshiners

we now have the great sport known as NASCAR.

Yes. Thanks to your people's hard work

we can all enjoy driving 200 mph in a circle.

You suck.

OK, let's get back on the road.

'Spending the night in our cars certainly took a toll on us.

'No sleep and a long road trip don't mix.'

Sleeping in the car sure did suck.

-HE YAWNS

-Oh, my gosh.

I had a good time last night.

We were spitting fire.

That's cool.

Wake up.

Rutledge threw up, that's cool.

Almost fell asleep right there, I just had a dream.

'We had a 100-mile drive to our next challenge.

'Adam and Tanner were brimming with confidence.

'I just wanted the T-Bird to win an event.'

I really think Adam thinks he made the right choice, you know?

He's Italian, he's in a Coupe de Ville.

He thinks that car is the stuff, cos growing up,

if you had one of those, you were cool.

'Now, when I was growing up,

'if you have a car like Adam's,'

it meant you were 80, and you might die soon.

Looking out of the hood,

this is like looking out of the deck of a battleship.

Planes could land on this hood.

So the seventh number on this VIN number is an E.

That means this car was made in New Jersey.

I'm just passing, as we speak, 278,000 miles.

That is more than 10 times around the planet at the equator.

This little car has driven 10 times around the planet,

and is still running almost perfectly.

Unbelievable.

It was time for our next challenge.

All right, fellas. Challenge number two - the ultimate durability test.

In order to avoid revenuers,

moonshine runners didn't always stick to the road.

With police in hot pursuit,

they often took short cuts through the woods,

crossing creeks, fallen trees, and steep terrain.

To find out if your cars are cut out for bootlegging,

they will be put to the test in this off-road course.

'This course was made for dirt bikes and Billy goats,

'but we had no choice.

'The fastest car around would win.'

All right. Finally a challenge I can sink my teeth into.

-With that?

-Yeah, I'm ready.

-Have you looked at the course? There's two huge jumps.

There is a cliff by that giant tree right there.

Yeah, We're screwed.

Is that your lack of confidence that I hear?

That's refreshing. I would like another sip.

-Pick a number from one to ten.

-Seven.

-Close - eight. You go first.

-Yeah!

-Let's do it.

-That didn't sound fair.

This is going to be bad.

-Are you ready?

-Yep.

Go!

Big turn.

Whoa!

Now, if by some miracle your car makes it through the water feature,

this part will get you.

Oh that was... There was some definite breakage there.

Oh, oh, a shortcut.

Look at him. Oh, no! Oh, man!

Almost rolled it over.

Uh-oh, I think it's done.

Noooo!

Shall we tell him that he already crossed the finish line?

Nah, let him go. Kid's having fun, let him play.

Oh, oh, oh!

Come on. Come on!

Yes!

-He thinks that's the finish line.

-Yeah!

THEY LAUGH

-Oh, wow! That is one.

-Look it's everywhere, it's leaking from here.

I meant to tell you, you crossed the finish line right there.

-That is what those other cones indicated. We didn't tell you that?

-No.

So that other stuff, when you were killing the car, that was just for us. Thanks.

My old Bird was up next.

Do you think he is going to go for it, or granny-drive it?

-I think he's going to go for it.

-Look at him pull up to the line.

He's going to granny-drive the hell out of it.

HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH

This is it, T-Bird.

We've had our ups and downs,

you broke on me,

but now I need you more than ever.

Just let me win one event.

Oh, man, this is a guy conquering some fear.

I'm ready, let's kick ass!

Three, two, one, go!

Come on, Rutledge!

Come on, baby.

Come on. There we go!

Oh, oh!

-Don't chicken out.

-Come on, come on, come on.

Woo-hoo!

BOTH: Yeah!

Oh, that was awesome!

Done.

HE LAUGHS

Hello!

'Even though he drove like Betty White,

'Rutledge still managed to do some damage.'

Oh, my gosh!

'Adam was next.

'There's no way he could win.

'Just sailing that 5,000-pound boat on the course was inviting disaster.'

-Want to make bets on if he get stuck?

-I think the bet is how soon he gets stuck.

-Man, you'll do great. You're going to do great.

-Good luck.

It was nice knowing you, Caddy.

He's seriously scared out of his shorts right now.

I don't know how to tell you this, Tanner,

everybody needs to become a man at some point,

and he chose to become a man in a '76 Coupe de Ville.

-And that was HIS mistake.

-That's the same thing that happened to me.

That is so weird. Mine was a '78.

God, am I nervous. This is quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever done.

I'm off-roading in a battleship, with a trunk full of moonshine,

listening to two guys I can't trust.

All-in kid.

-OK, Adam, here we go. Three, two, one...

-BOTH: Go!

-Oh, he's hitting the grass!

-Oh, no!

Oh, my gosh, he's going way...

He's going way too fast.

How is it possible he's still going?!

Through the water splash - this is where you get stuck.

Oh, he goes over the water!

Oh, no!

RUTLEDGE HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER

Oh, man! He almost rolled it.

Oh, come on, Adam.

-Throttle, throttle! Hit it...

-This is going to be so bad.

Dun-diddle-un-dun-dun!

-THEY HOWL WITH LAUGHTER

-Yay, Adam!

Dude, the car is bent. Look at it. Look at it!

It is like a canoe right now.

Oh!

-Stop it!

-Stop the clock.

How did that just happen?

Oh, was that fun! That's my baby!

THAT'S MY BABY!

-Are you OK?

-Yeah!

-Wow!

-That was unbelievable.

I want to make fun of you so much and tell you it was awful,

but I've never seen flight like that.

You can't open the door.

-Did you have to climb out of the window?

-Yes!

-You broke the windshield.

-Yeah.

-Dude, the whole car is bent.

-Yeah.

-You bent that entire front clip.

-Yeah.

-And does it still run?

-Oh...

He did a 2.38.

I did a 2.01. You did a 1.52.

Yes!

Yes!

THEY LAUGH

Look at all the lids. Look at them!

You smashed every single bottle.

Look at all that glass, dude.

-You should close that before it just ignites.

-Quickly.

-You know what? I feel like... The motor works!

My truck motor still works.

'But after that beating, little else on the Cadillac did,

'and with one moonshine challenge left,

'we limped off the battlefield.'

"Welcome to the Rock, Rockingham Speedway,

"where NASCAR legends, from Junior Johnson to Geoff Gordon,

"have traded paint.

"There's a good reason so many moonshine runners

"became NASCAR champions.

"When stealth failed, it was all about speed.

"This challenge will see how long you can outrun the police."

The police?

CAR IN DISTANCE

-What?!

-We're so screwed!

-Oh, no!

-We're done.

-Officer Stig.

'Our cars were going to have a hard time getting away from the Stig,

'our silent professional race car driver, but anything's possible here at the Rock.

'Inside The Rock's famous oval was a one-mile road course.

'We'd each be given a 15-second head start,

'then the Stig was free to hunt us down.

'Whoever could elude him the longest was the winner.

'I was up first,

'Rutledge second,

'and Adam...

'never.'

ENGINE REVS

He makes me nervous.

Are you ready?

Three, two, one, go!

13, 14...

There he goes.

Oh, my gosh, this car rotates a bit.

-Go, go, go, go!

-Whoa!

Oh, in the grass. Look at that!

Ha-ha!

Oh, oh!

Oh, he spun.

He spun, he's in trouble.

Completely stuck. Here he comes.

Oh-oh, she's starting to die. She's overheating.

-POLICE SIREN WAILS

-Here it comes.

-Hit him!

-Get him!

Is he going to spin him? Oh, he got him.

I'm not going to tell him I'm impressed.

I think I killed her.

-When you spun, was that the pressure of feeling the lights on you?

-No. I wanted to see if he was there.

-The mirrors are all broken off, I wonder how that happened?

-I don't know anything about that.

-Are you up now?

-I'm ready. Do you want me to show you what a real time is?

-I'm ready for that.

-Re-setting.

-Rutledge is talking a pretty big game, eh?

-Yeah.

-The Thunder Coupe may have something in reserve.

-Three, two,

one, go!

HE REVS ENGINE

Is he getting out?

What are you doing?

I tried to neutral-drop it, it didn't work.

-Run!

-That's it!

That's your head start, man.

-What just happened there?

-I don't know, what's he doing?

The police officer's going to hit him. He wants to hit him.

That's it.... Run! Run!

Use your turbo!

-Now...

-He's hanging it out.

Go Rutledge! SIREN WAILS

ADAM LAUGHS

He's bailing the evidence.

One minute two seconds.

Don't say nothing!

How much do you want to bet he's throwing up in the back seat right now?

-Did you throw up back there, Rutledge?

-That sucks so bad.

-Is that number seven?

-That sucks so bad.

I don't know what's worse...

..the running, or what happened in the back seat.

In the end, this wasn't just a journey through the South,

it was a voyage back in time.

We've all owned crappy cars.

They may have been stinky, filthy,

dangerous rust buckets,

but when called to perform, our cars rose to the challenge

and we grew to appreciate them.

These cars may have only cost 1,000,

but they gave us everything they had.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

I love that car.

I'm still shocked that you can walk

after jumping that Cadillac like that.

What was up with the Ricky Bobbie moves you've got?

I had to get away from Officer Stig.

-You know he's really not a police officer, right?

-He's not?

-Moving on.

However, it was a great journey, but all that really matters is who won.

-That's right, so let's start with the J-turn. Now, Adam, you may have beat me.

-I did.

-But Tanner beat you, so we'll give him that right there.

-I smoked that one.

-Next up was camping.

-Hello.

-That's not an event.

-Sure it is, I won.

-Mark it down.

-Why did you win?

I woke up in the morning straight as an arrow, my spine was fine.

You guys woke up with scoliosis.

-I won.

-True story.

-All right - off-road.

-And that would be me again.

-Yeah.

-You killed the car!

-Yes.

-Style points AND the quickest time. Mark it down.

-All right, fine.

-We'll give you that one.

-Off-road. Next up, police. How did you...

-I had the lowest time.

-It's not the lowest score. This isn't golf.

-It's how long you could evade the police and...he won again.

-I ran.

I know.

All right. Last up, moonshine.

-You get a point for spelling that correctly.

-Thank you.

Now, I didn't have much left. Adam, how about you?

-I had some.

-You had none!

-It was in the trunk.

Your trunk was soaked with more booze than Mel Gibson.

-How much did you have?

-I had about a case.

-Really?

-Yeah, so I think I walk away with that one.

-OK.

So that would put you here.

Adam had two, I got the goose egg. Tanner with 3.

-Which means the Nissan takes it.

-Oh!

I don't know what you guys were thinking

when you showed up with those cars

because I knew from the beginning,

Nissan is the most versatile, reliable.

If you have 1,000, and you're going moonshine running, it's a 300Z.

If people had been enlightened, back in the day,

they would be racing Nissan Z's right now in NASCAR.

-There'd be 300Z's ripping around everywhere.

-That is blasphemous.

All right. Well, that's all we've got this week.

Thanks for watching. Goodbye.

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