Rut's Show Top Gear USA

Now on Top Gear:

What's up, Top Gear?

Stay off the streets cos Rutledge is taking control of the show.

That is a big bus!

And we finally get a glimpse inside that big, bearded head.

Gotchaa! I got it!

This is Top Gear's 25th show.

'And to celebrate, they've given me control of the entire episode.'

Oh, that's scary.

'Now we've done a lot of cool stuff

'but there are a few things I've always wanted to try.'

-Whoa!

-How do I look?

Like driving in a professional race.

Tanner trained for years to get to his level

but who has that kind of time?

I was determined to find a way.

'There are thousands of professional race events in the US

'but only one that didn't require

'more than a few hours' training before competitive racing

'so Adam and I headed to a dirt track in California.'

BOTH: WOAH! THEY LAUGH

We were going to get our shot in these.

160,000 off-road machines called superlite trucks.

31-inch tyres, a mid-mounted 250 horsepower rotary engine

and 18 inches of suspension travel.

Today was about training,

but in 24 hours, we would be driving in a real race

with real girls watching, real beer and real racecar drivers.

Clearly, we were going to need a little help.

Luckily, we had an expert on hand.

Ricky Johnson, off-road racing god.

As the piston travels through the shock,

you can adjust positions to make it ride better.

I've no idea what you just said.

So I'm going to say if one of you guys is bigger than the other,

they might want to lean towards the Jack Link car.

Did you tell him to say that?

-I don't have to tell him anything, the man has eyes.

-That's real funny. I'll gladly take old snow camo here.

'But there was a catch.

'Ricky told us there was only one place in tomorrow's race

'so Adam and I would have to compete for it

'and the competition started right away.'

-Oh, there they are!

-Oh, oh!

-I'm going to get them!

-Really?

I'm going to get dressed faster than you!

-Come on, Rut. Hurry up!

-I'm going! I'm going!

-Almost done.

Full dressed, helmets and everything.

-You are not!

-Almost! Done!

You're a moron.

-Still going to win.

-You're an awkward looking moron.

Concerned a little bit about my visibility today.

Fogging up just a touch.

Rutledge managed to squeeze into his racing suit,

but his truck was another thing.

-Like a glove!

-Ooh! That's how I would describe it!

Son of a bitch! My poor nuts.

This thing's like a cheap motel, there's no ball room.

That's not metal. That's not metal!

First up was a trip round the parking lot,

preparing for the head to head race.

The superlites were surprisingly easy to control.

This is awesome!

Unless, of course, you're Adam.

Adam, where the hell are you going?

I have no idea!

The hardest thing was getting used to driving what felt like a metal mattress.

When you cornered it tipped so much it seemed you were going to roll.

Whoa! Ah!

That's not good.

'I was off to a slow start but I soon got the hang of it.'

This is great!

After ten minutes, Ricky had seen enough.

It was time for me and Adam to race head-to-head.

But he had forgotten to mention one little thing.

If there is a problem, if you do flip,

remember where your power switches are.

-"If you do flip?"

-If you do flip. That happens on off-road.

If you crash, flip, if there's fire or if there's a problem,

you've got to reach over to that far left switch

and shut the power down first.

This was it,

the moment that we had trained literally dozens of minutes for.

It was race time.

We would do three laps around the track

and only the winner would qualify for the professional race.

On your mark, get set...

..go!

Eat my... Whoa! HE LAUGHS

Rutledge was screaming like a little girl.

Woooah!

I soon found out why.

ENGINE NOISE

Halfway through the race my confidence was high.

Maybe too high.

'I spun out in a corner.'

Oh! The Rutter spins out.

I took advantage of Rut's mistake and took the lead.

The race was mine!

I had just one lap to catch Adam or my racing dreams would be over.

Got any room on your outside?

I swung wide on the last corner and we were

neck and neck on the final straight.

Rutledge is the champion! Whoo!

I won something for once!

Whoo!

That was awesome! Be honest, how did the back of my truck look?

I don't usually win so I'm trying to remember what gloating feels like.

-Gloating or bloating?

-Erm, gloating.

Hey. It was a good game, man.

A good race. Good, clean race.

I want to thank all my sponsors, my driving coach Ricky Johnson...

Erm...

The next day it was race time.

This is what I was looking for,

a taste of the glamour that Tanner gets on a daily basis.

There were fans, there were flags

and the intoxicating sound of supercharged lawnmowers.

ENGINES ROAR

The rules were simple, drive as fast as I could

and jump as far as I could for 14 laps

and try to beat the other dozen vehicles trying to land on my head.

I brought Adam along to give him a taste of my glory.

This is nuts!

'Unfortunately, he decided to try and help.'

-Hey, pal. Ready?

-I'm ready to race! I can't wait to get in there!

-Great.

-I've got information for you.

-OK, good.

-This track is faster than the one we were on before.

-OK.

-By 80mph.

Don't worry, you're going to be fine.

I'll be right there with you. I'll be your spotter.

-OK.

-All right.

-Let's go race.

-Lip balm?

Thank you.

The track was prepped and excitement was in the air.

It was close to the start of the race when Rutledge finally realised

'his idea of being a professional racer may have been a bit stupid.'

-What am I doing?

-You're going to be fine.

Look, you've got a race suit, your name's on the truck!

How cool is this?

-I've got wood.

-See that?

-I've got wood.

Move my junk around a little bit.

If something happens it keeps the brains from spilling out.

-Man, this

-BLEEP

-neck restraint is so creepy.

-I feel like I can't see

-BLEEP. It's normal.

That's what your spotter's for. We're just trying to keep your head straight if anything happens.

ENGINE NOISE DROWNS SPEECH

'Rut may have been nervous and looked like a home-made superhero

'but he was pumped up and ready to win.'

ENGINE CUTS OUT

'If he could just stop stalling.'

It's OK! Now I got it!

ENGINE CUTS OUT

Oh.

'My time driving a superlite was now stretching to a whole hour

'and I was beginning to feel like a pro.'

Oh, crap!

-Lord, please be with me here.

-All right, pal. Just breathe.

-You're going to be great.

-Time to go big or go home!

I'm not worried at all!

'The race had a rolling start. It was go time.'

-Yeah, come on!

-That's it!

'There was no turning back.

'It was time to show them what I was made of.'

That's all right, there's another gear. Find a gear, you'll be fine.

This is awesome!

All right, here come the whoops now, no fear. No fear.

'I'd gotten through the most treacherous part of the track

'so I set my sights on making my way through the field.'

-Watch it as you come in at the turn.

-You're going the wrong way, genius!

Careful, now.

Watch this.

-Whoo-hoo!

-Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on!

He flipped over!

Rut, are you all right? Rut?

Rut!

Ah, good. He's moving, standing up.

You all right?

INDISTINCT SPEECH

-What the

-BLEEP

-am I doing?

How'd it look?

-Be honest!

-It looked great! It looked really cool!

We need another angle, can you do it again?

-My leg hurts. Feel like someone just hit me with a bat.

-God.

-Did anyone hit me once I rolled?

-No. that was all you.

-That sucked.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You finally get to race in a real race and you crash.

It's a lot harder to wreck than it is to race.

People don't know that.

-Yeah, and I'm OK, thank you for the concern.

-LAUGHTER

Bruised my tailbone a little bit, I hurt my shin.

I think the problem is you lifted out on the gas on the bumps.

Oh, so you want to give me advice now?

Now that I'm never, ever going to do that again, you want to help me.

It's probably a good thing you're not going to do it again

cos you mowed Adam's lawn by crashing a perfectly good car.

-That's true.

-What's next? You launching out of a cannon?

-No!

-Jumping the Snake River?

-No!

-Wrestling an alligator?

Come on! Look, I may not be great at racing cars on a track

but I do love to drive cars and I found a job in San Francisco

where you get to drive lots of people's cars

and I figured what's better than one dude in San Francisco?

Two dudes. So I took Adam with me.

Turns out there's a service that'll pay you to drive other people's cars.

To me that sounded like we were going to be valet parkers,

but Rut got us a job with a company called Zingo.

Zingo. This is Andrew, how can I help you?

'A designated driver service that'll bring you home in your own car after a night out.'

-So how does this work?

-OK, let's say you're out with your family or friends.

Next thing you know it's either, "I've had too much to drink,"

or, "I want to stay more and enjoy myself a little longer."

You give us a call and we dispatch a driver to you on a folding minibike.

He folds it up, puts it in your car, drives you in your car home safely.

'Rutledge forgot to mention we were going to be riding scooters

'to pick up our drunks.'

These kiddie bikes had no horsepower and were somehow supposed to

get us around one of the hilliest cities in the world.

-Is there any rules we should know?

-Plenty of rules.

OK, so what are the rules?

The first thing you want to do is just avoid getting involved in the arguments of others.

Husband and wife, they've had a rough night...

What if, clearly, she's wrong?

-You need to keep a serious face and just drive on.

-OK.

What's the company policy on like a smoky burn out on the stop sign?

-No-go.

-What if the customer says, "I bet you can't light 'em up?"

-Don't do it.

-Do we have to drive electric cars if they have them?

-You have to drive any car that we despatch to, yeah.

-A Daewoo?

-Absolutely.

-A Dasher?

-Yes.

-A Daihatsu?

-Absolutely.

-No. Come on.

-Camry?

-Yeah.

-An old Peugeot?

-Yes.

Our drivers make good tips.

You guys will go out tonight and people will tip you.

We get tips?

You get tips and so the way to get tips is by providing

an excellent level of service.

'This was a great idea.

'Not only would we be keeping the streets safe

'and driving different cars, we'd also make cash.

'So Adam and I decided to make a side bet

'to see who could make the most tips.'

Watch out for the birds. Oh, they pooped! They're pooping!

Oh, this is nice! One and a half horsepower, all electric.

'I was excited about driving a bunch of different cars...'

That is a big bus!

Oh, crap!

'..but riding around San Francisco on a scooter

'wasn't part of my plan.'

It's a pretty decent little scooter.

It's called a Diblasi,

which is Italian for 'don't go up a big hill'.

Oh, come on baby. You can do it.

Oh sh-! There's a car!

HORN SOUNDS

Seemed like such a good idea.

As Rut's scooter was begging for mercy, night fell.

Get outta the way!

I got drunks to take home!

'I was ready to go.'

Let's go! Pick it up! These guys are will sober up!

'I got the first call from Andrew.' Ha-ha-ha!

'And that put me one step ahead of beating Rut in our tip competition.

'Till I realised...

'I was lost.

'And something told me, this wasn't the neighbourhood

'to be wearing bright colours and cruising around on a scooter.'

The Bead Store?

What kind of beads are they selling there?

If you need a ride later, call me!

Oh, yeah!

There it is!

'It was around 9 o'clock when I received my first call.'

-Is somebody here Matt?

-Yeah, how's it going?

Hey, man, I'm Rutledge. I think I'm your ride.

Hey, how's it going?! Awesome!

-Did you call us?

-Yeah, I called you guys a little bit ago.

-Fantastic!

-Is this your car here?

-That's mine!

Get out! Oh, this is awesome!

'My first car was an Armageddon-inspired VW Beetle.

'Getting to drive this kind of unique ride

'was exactly why I wanted to work for this service.'

Did you model this after Mad Max?

No.

-Really?

-Really.

'Turned out it wasn't only the outside of the car

'that was ready for battle.'

There's a machete in here. There is within reach...

-Where did that other huge knife go?

-There's a knife here.

There's a machete there. There are some brass...uh...

Because people keep stuff like that in their cars.

Hey! I have to drive through West Oakland!

'My great idea to drive cool cars was backfiring.'

Just run the red light. It's fine.

Cut off all those cars.

I thought it was very, very yellow.

'My first client was NOT a happy drunk.'

Come on! Come on!

'On the other side of town, I finally arrived at my first pick up...

20 minutes late.'

No Camry, no Camry, no Camry.

-Hi, are you Doug?

-Yeah.

-Hi, I'm Adam from Zingo. Nice to meet you.

-Hey, Adam. Nice to meet you.

-So, which way's your car?

-I'm right over here.

-Great.

'I'd hit the jackpot!

'A Bentley Continental Flying Spur.

'170,000 of luxury and performance.'

Let me get that for you, sir!

I'm just going to put the bike in the trunk, and then we're ready to go.

-Yeah, no problem.

-All right!

'This guy was definitely a big tipper.

'All I had to do was get him home quickly and safely, and I'd be set.'

HORN BEEPS

That's not...

..there you go. Ah-ha!

-CLUTCH GRINDS

-Come on, baby.

-Yeah, break the clutch.

-Sorry, just a hair!

That little pedal over there? Press that. There you go.

You're doing good! You're doing good!

I'll send your company a bill for the clutch.

TYRES SCREECH, CLUTCH GRINDS

Excuse me!

'I wasn't sure how Adam was doing,

'but he couldn't be doing any worse than me.'

Easy!

HORN BEEPS Oops! That's not good.

OK! All right, Doug, we're off.

Let's do it.

Wow, look at this thing!

Silver Spur, huh?

-Yeah.

-This has the W12 in it?

Yeah, it does.

-Great car.

-How much horsepower is this?

Uh, it's 500 and...60?

560 horsepower?

Wow!

God knows what my buddy's driving right now!

There you go! Sorry, these hills! I'm telling you!

-Whee!

-I think a cop's going to pull you over.

It's OK. It's OK.

You don't know what's in this car. There might be a firearm in here...

Suddenly, suddenly it's my car, right?!

Yeah, I've never seen this car before.

"I don't know this guy, officer. He said, 'Hey, do you need a lift?

"'You look like you've been drinking.'"

I soon realised there was a drawback to the Bentley.

The owner.

-Yeah, you touch this button right here...

-Yeah?

Each individual person in here has the same exact temperature.

-So if you...

-Have you done a burn out in this?

Uh...

Cos they only chase after the guy...

I'm not going to say, "The fat guy", cos that would be rude.

But the guy driving.

'Things were going from bad to worse.'

Oh, gosh!

'I had to get the owner back on my side to get a tip

'so I could beat Adam in our competition.'

-What year is this?

-2000.

A good friend of mine give it to me,

because I'd cut the roof off every other vehicle I owned.

He kind of felt bad for me driving in the rain.

So you got this car totally free,

-just keep the roof on?

-That was the deal.

I've gotten cars for free before.

-Because you're willing to fix them up?

-Right!

Because someone else doesn't want to deal with them.

They think it's a piece of crap. You see, free car!

And they want to see their vehicle live on

in a more interesting way than just going to a scrap yard.

Thank you. Car nerds, unite!

'Our mutual love for fixing up cars brought him back around.

'Over in the Bentley,

'Adam was still trying to convince his passenger

'to let him do a burn out.'

It's real easy. See this traction control button?

If you hold it down...take it off and hold the button down.

This car will not do a burn out.

You know, I'm an open-minded kind of guy, and they ARE talented actors.

You know you're in trouble

when your religion is based...and created by a sci-fi writer.

That's all I'm saying.

'John and I got along so well that we exchanged numbers

'and agreed to meet up at the next Comic-Con.'

They say it's the biggest helmet they make, but I don't believe them.

-All right.

-All right, sir.

-That's for you.

-Oh! A 20!

-Yeah! Pow!

-Yeah! Thanks, man!

-Thank you, sir!

You saved me a lot of money tonight, so...

-you take care.

-You too.

I'm off. Like a prom dress.

HORN BEEPS

All right, my friend. You are home.

-You are safe.

-I'm so glad. I mean it.

It was a pleasure to meet you.

-Thanks a lot.

-Have a good night, pal.

All right, man. I'll see you.

Let's say some guy drives you home, because you were too drunk,

and you could kill yourself or somebody else.

What do you think that's worth?

Nothing! Nothing!

Don't give him a dime!

And one day, you too will be driving a Bentley!

HE SIGHS

It's our 25th episode, and to celebrate,

they've given me control of the show.

Now, OK. Admittedly, it started out with a bang with the crash,

but now you're driving around San Francisco

on a pink scooter. What's up with that?!

It's not a pink scooter!

And what could be better?

You get to drive around in these amazing cars

and get paid for it!

Amazing cars? You're in a Beetle!

At least Adam got to drive a Bentley.

Yeah, but the whole goal was to make money,

and I was 20 bucks up,

AND the night was still young.

MUSIC: "When The Saints Go Marching In"

-Yo.

-Yeah.

-What's up, guys? Hey, I'm Rutledge.

-Hi, I'm Farrah.

-Farrah.

-Here are the keys. Don't

-BLEEP

-it up.

-Oh, OK.

I'm just going to pack this up. I'll see you there in a minute.

'The owner seemed a bit punchy, but his ride was great.

'A 45,000 2009 Grand Cherokee Hemi.

'I knew a lot about this Jeep

'and I had a feeling my knowledge was about to get me a big tip.'

Jeep really started, like,

the luxury SUV with these in America in '93, I think it was.

Great cars.

You know, it's kind of strange

because the car has a lot of power for...

Oh, jeez. Hello.

Erm, you know, for what it is, it's a strong car,

it just doesn't get the power down.

'At around 11, I got a call for my next pick up.

'I hadn't made any money yet

'and hoped my next passenger would be more generous

'than Captain Climate Control.'

Andrew?

-Andrew.

-Adam.

-Adam, nice to meet you. All right.

-I'm going to get you home safely, my friend.

-Good, good.

-After you.

-Which way's your car?

-My car is right over there.

'This was a dream come true. I'd landed a custom '66 Mustang.'

-There you go.

-All right, thank you.

ENGINE STARTS

There you go.

'I knew I had to go easy on her if I wanted a good tip,

'but I had to take a shot.'

How drunk are you?

ANDREW LAUGHS

Had a few, I'd say, at least.

-Oh, I will have you home in no time, my friend.

-Done.

-Ha-ha-ha.

-I don't want you to baby this thing, all right?

-You have nothing to worry about.

-Seriously.

ADAM LAUGHS

Oh, that's sweet.

'This was great.

'If I could just keep him happy and not wreck his car,

'a healthy tip would be in my future.'

Don't baby that clutch. Come on, give it a little gas.

-Ah.

-Good.

-Perfect.

-Ha-ha-ha-ha.

'There's no way Rutledge was having this much fun.'

I think you're the best driver that I have had yet.

OK, you guys, well, this has just been wonderful.

I'm just going to get my scooter and be on my way. So...

..thank you, guys, I hope you have a great night.

Wow. Get a room.

I did such a good job setting the mood for this guy,

he was too busy getting busy to give me a tip.

So I still only had 20 and I hoped Adam hadn't been doing any better.

-Listen to the sound right now.

-Yeah.

-40 bucks, burn out, right now.

-Extra tip. Do it.

-You know what, I work for you.

-You work for me.

ENGINE REVS

Oh, I like it when you drink.

-Ha-ha.

-He-he!

-Nice work.

-That was fun.

-That was really fun.

-Have fun.

-All right, dude.

'Where else can you drive cool cars and get paid for doing a burn out?

'40 richer, I headed back into the city for my next pick up.

'I was 20 bucks up, but with only enough time for one more pick up

'before the bars closed, I needed to make sure I chose a wealthy client.'

"Honda Civic."

We'll forward that to Rut.

I wanted a bigger tip, so I held out for another car. And I'm glad I did.

Oh, my gosh.

THE GIRLS ALL TALK AT ONCE

I can't even begin to guess what they're talking about.

I'm just saying, look, I don't wear toe socks around town.

I am out of my element.

'While Rut was off driving a cheap Civic, my last pick up took me

'to the Castro district.

'And I was looking for a big tipper.'

Hi, did you guys call Zingo?

-We did call Zingo.

-I'm Adam.

-Oh, Bobby Pin.

-Bobby Pin.

I called 1-800-BABE.

-Is that you?

-No, but thanks for asking.

-OK.

-Where's your...? OK.

-I'm going to wear the hat.

-Oh, you are.

-This way, ladies.

Thank you.

-Do I look like a lady?

-It's tough to tell in this light.

HE LAUGHS

'Bobby Pin and Rutledge's lost brother had a Ram, which was ironic,

'yet somehow fitting.'

Which door are you getting in, Bob?

-I'm in over here.

-Are you going to roll my fat ass in here?

No, not if I can help it.

Oh. What did that mean?

-Are you calling me fat?

-I didn't call you fat, I just agreed with you.

-Which part?

-We're doing fine. Leg up.

Where did my other purse go? Oh, right here.

-Can I have my glasses?

-Sure.

-And my jacket?

-And your jacket.

-OK.

OK.

I want to know more about this boy that you say you like.

-I am not sure about this.

-He's really nice.

-I don't know.

-Why did...? He was nice.

-I thought he was nice.

-Really?

-You don't like him cos he's chubby and nerdy.

No, that's not true. I'll be honest with you, I did not like him.

-There's something wrong with chubby and nerdy?

-I like chubby and nerdy.

-No, that has nothing to do with it.

-I was on Scholars' Bowl in eighth grade.

THEY ALL LAUGH

'Things were looking up.

'If these girls liked nerdy, I was in business.'

This is where I sound... I'm a little bit of a Honda nerd.

-If you notice, you guys, the floor back there is flat.

-Ah, it is flat.

That was a big design point.

-What?

-Cos normally cars have the little hump.

-Oh.

-Yeah, there's no hump so there's...

-Nobody has to...

-Oh, my gosh.

-When you're riding bitch, you're not really riding bitch.

-I never noticed that.

-So, Clark, this is your truck?

-Yeah, this is my truck.

How did you arrive at buying a truck like this?

-I mean, I like it. It's a Hemi.

-What's a Hemi?

Hemi is the top of the, it's a hemispherical,

the top of the valve, it's not flat.

-Show me that again.

-The top of the...

Let me just point out why chunky guys are great for hot girls.

-We'll always appreciate you, not like skinny dudes.

-It's true.

-It's true.

-Skinny dudes...

-My sister married down for that exact reason.

-Seriously.

-Married down?

-We were just having this conversation.

-Married down!

-No, chunky is like marrying...

-Up.

-..sideways.

THEY LAUGH

Like, drag race to me means something totally different to you guys.

It's true.

And I'm guessing tranny means something different to me

-than it does to you.

-What does tranny mean to you?

-Tranny means the, er, transmission.

-Ha-ha.

-Really?

I think we need to get you a drag name.

-Oh, no.

-You're in San Francisco, I mean,

everybody has a drag name here.

Wait, we're naming her Miss Tess Tosterone.

Miss Tess Tosterone, that's, you know what, that's pretty funny.

You know what, you should come in and check out the view.

-I really, I've got so many other calls.

-Yeah, whatever.

-But you guys have a great night.

-That's what they all say.

'Adam was given a 20 tip, bringing his total for the evening

'to 60 bucks.'

Gentlemen, you guys have a good night.

'And even though I laid on the charm with the ladies,

'they only gave me ten, making my tip total for the night 30,

'which meant Adam beat me at my own game.'

-Thanks for getting us home safe.

-I hope you find a nice, chubby fella.

-Thank you. Thank you for that.

-See you guys later.

HORN BEEPS

-Woah.

-Oh, OK.

-Our neighbours, not OK with that.

-Sorry. OK, well.

-OK, OK.

-Good night.

-Good night.

HORN BEEPS

THEY LAUGH

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Have you ever ridden a scooter in San Francisco?

-Why would I do a stupid thing like that?

-It's pretty fun.

Now it's time for Big Star, Small Car

and our star today is the actress Lake Bell.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you so much for being here.

-Thank you for having me.

Are you ready to get out there and turn some laps?

I'm ready as I'll ever be.

-Is that fair?

-Cos I know you like to drive fast on your own.

Yeah. I mean, in my own car, in my own, sort of, in the safety

and dangerousness of real traffic.

We will see you in the hanger when you're done.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

-Lake Bell.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's get some air going here.

'Now, the fastest lap time is 1.39.3, set by Stephen Moyer.

'Let's see how Lake can do.'

And now to shift gears.

'Looking good so far. Little tap on the brakes.'

Keep it serious. Keep it really serious.

'Good focus. Car looks composed so far,

'heading down, in towards the tear drop.'

BLEEP.

'Looking good. Not super fast through there.'

And there's a thousand people there, I hope I don't...

Oh, my God, that's a lot of people

to be looking right at me as I don't shift.

'Now, this is where people make up a lot of time.'

So, do you have radio stations in here?

A little KDAY, a little old school rap for me.

'Definitely the first person to check out the radio

'on the back stretch, which is the fastest part of the course.'

Oh, my God.

'There it is.'

A happy tyre's a squealing tyre.

'That's right, making Stig proud.

'Good speed on the back stretch.

'Right, coming through the last turn here.

'Nice and smooth and across the line.'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lake, come on up.

CHEERING

So, so lovely.

How are you? Have a seat, please.

It's nice, right?

How did it go in the Suzuki?

It's fun to say the word, Suzuki, you know?

LAUGHTER

-So that's, like, good news.

-Right.

Erm, but otherwise, in terms of fastness and times

and all that, I hope I didn't let you down.

-Oh, you didn't.

-I'm going to be...

Let's just get comfortable with being in the lower echelons

and then I'll be more comfortable with it.

Everyone's going to be comfortable

because you are a beautiful woman that loves cars.

-So they already love you.

-I love cars.

-How'd you get into cars?

-My padre, which is Spanish for father...

-Oh, I see.

..owns and built race car tracks.

So, every since I was a little girl, we'd go to the auto shows

and, you know, he would show me about cars.

And I always pretended that, I mean, this was our big bonding moment...

-Right.

-..in the year.

I'd get really into it and then I realised, as I got older,

he'd be like, "Why don't you want to race?"

I'd be like, "I'm the actress, I'm not going to do that."

You know. But really, I think I was just really scared,

which is why today is so tough.

Erm, so, so I just was always really interested in them,

had an opinion about what I liked, what I didn't like.

So if you know what you like in a car, what is it?

What makes a great car to you?

I am definitely attracted to... We're talking aesthetics, too.

I drive a Mini, I've driven a Mini, now I've had three Minis.

And what kind of driver would you say you are in that Mini?

Yeah, I drive really aggressively.

It's like a video game to you, right?

It's Tetris. I call it Tetris driving. It's basically...

LAUGHTER

Erm, I love traffic Tetris driving

because you have to make traffic fun.

-Right. And traffic out here is awful.

-It's so bad.

So you have to look for the open spaces. It's really dangerous.

Erm, but basically...

LAUGHTER

..you have to like, vrrrmm.

You have to just get aggressive in there. You know how it is.

You're like, "This guy's going to lag back,

"I will totally get in there, you're taunting me."

It's all this stuff.

Do you watch to see who's on the phone

-because you know you can jump in front of them?

-Yeah.

I take photos of, like, licence plates when I see people on the phone.

-"Amateur hour, get the

-BLEEP

-out of my way."

That's what I would have said.

-You can edit that out.

-Now, as a woman with style,

I feel like you probably can tell a lot about a guy by his car.

-Right.

-What would you think about a guy in a Corvette?

What kind? What year?

Let's say a Corvette convertible.

Yellow. 2010.

It's not going to be for me. That's OK.

Erm, a little older and then it's sort of ironic and funny

and I'm like, "This guy's got a great sense of humour."

Is he wearing...?

LAUGHTER

-"He's got a great sense of humour."

-Yeah.

-Is he wearing a chain?

-Is he in an athletic tank?

-Erm.

-An athletic tank?

-Yeah.

-Is that now...?

I believe that's the nice way to say wife beater.

-The new way of saying the WB.

-Yeah.

-OK.

Where I'm from, they call them wife beaters

because everyone on COPS was wearing them.

Everyone calls them wife beaters. What's the new thing? Athletic tank!

Athletic tank is what it says on the package.

-Is that a Net word?

-LAUGHTER

So if a guy had, let's say, a classic Land Cruiser,

what would you think?

-I love that car.

-Like FJ40?

-Yeah.

-I had one.

Really? Is it for sale?

LAUGHTER

The last one I can think of, and this is just off the top of my head,

a guy with, say, a 1983 Honda Civic wagon.

LAUGHTER

Just picked that out of thin air. Totally re-done.

-No? Right, interior and exterior?

-Yeah, plaid interior.

-Plaid?

LAUGHTER

-I just picked that out of thin air, too.

-Right.

-Plaid, button-down interior.

-Hm-mm. Maybe.

-Erm, yeah, he's a keeper.

-You'd think sensible?

-He's a keeper.

-Good dancer.

-He's a great guy.

Great dancer, kind of suave, knows his way around a kitchen.

-"Knows his way around a kitchen." Was that a fat joke?

-Erm...

LAUGHTER

No!

-You could have said anything.

-Aw.

-A kitchen!

-No, that was like sexy chef.

-Oh, is that what it was?

-Yeah.

Your lap.

Fast? Slow? How did it feel?

When you got out of the car, you thought, that was...?

Slow.

-Slow?

-Yes.

Let's take a look at the board

because, the last show, Stephen Moyer blazed through with a 1.39.3.

-Well, he's on True Blood.

-Yeah, he's a vampire.

So they can do stuff like that.

Er, Tony Hawk is on there, Bret Michaels still.

Now this is mid-pack, this could be really good. Now...

No, just go down, it's fine.

Just follow me here, way down here Buzz Aldrin, Bridget Marquardt.

Still enjoying being underneath an old man.

LAUGHTER

-You guys want to know her time?

-ALL: Yeah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lake Bell, you did it in one minute...

f....

-50...

-Oh, dear.

-..5.4.

Bumping Buzz Aldrin.

CHEERING

LAKE MOUTHS

Congratulations.

Listen, you did a wonderful job.

Lake Bell, everybody.

Congratulations.

CHEERING

Welcome back to a very special episode of Top Gear

where we have given complete control to our very own man in plaid,

Mr Rutledge Wood.

-Thank you.

-Yes, now, just to recap,

-you've almost killed yourself.

-Right.

So far, you've lost a competition that you came up with.

-Yes.

-I cannot wait to see what you've got planned next.

-It's actually pretty cool. Have you ever heard of range anxiety?

-I have.

That is when you're more than one mile from a waffle house, right?

LAUGHTER

-No!

-I'm just saying.

-That is not what range anxiety is.

Range anxiety is where people who drive electric cars start to get

nervous that their car won't have enough battery life

-to get them to their destination.

-OK.

So the other day, I'm watching the movie Top Gun and it hits me,

I know how to end range anxiety forever.

-You're kidding?

-No. Here's all I need.

I need a retro-fitted, electric British sports car,

a power cable, a generator, a pick up and...

..Adam Ferrara.

LAUGHTER

-That's Adam Ferrara?

-Yup.

-No, no, no.

LAUGHTER

Now it's Adam Ferrara.

'I thought the best place to conduct my experiment

'would be an airport runway in Compton.

'All I needed was a 2,000 watt generator, a test vehicle

'and someone willing to risk their life for science.'

You look great.

Look at this, I have cameras all over the place.

-Ha-ha!

-Very good. All right, so here's the plan.

-You're going to be in the back of the truck.

-Got it.

When I get a little low on juice, I want you to throw me

-the power cord, right through the open top.

-Perfect.

-Charge it up, be good to go.

-Got it.

Who's driving the truck?

He is.

Oh.

That's why we got you the harness.

'I was pretty sure we were about to make history,

'continuing the American tradition of bold innovation.'

All right, Adam, here's what I want you to do.

Throw me that football. It's got a plug in there, and I'll catch it.

We're just two kids playing football.

RUTLEDGE CHUCKLES

All right, Stig, nice and easy, don't....

TYRES SCREECH

Jeez.

-Wait up, I can't catch up.

-He only knows one speed.

HE LAUGHS

Stig, slow down.

Too much.

All right, we can do it. Hit it.

Stig, nice and easy.

TYRES SCREECH

'I didn't factor into this experiment

'that the Stig only knows how to drive fast.

'Eventually, he got bored with the truck,

'so I took advantage of his window of low-speed driving

'and gave it my best shot.'

-All right. You ready?

-I'm ready.

This is the slowest the Stig has ever driven. Don't let him down.

Wait a minute. Wait.

The plane threw me.

Come on. Just like a football.

Throw it. I'm coming!

All right, that didn't work.

-Are you ready?

-I'm ready.

TYRES SCREECH

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

You can... Oh, come on, you unplugged it.

You ready?

Oh, I got it, I got it. Oh, crap.

All right.

Now, listen, we're going to do it this time, I feel good about it.

Right here. Right in the old bread basket.

Hit it.

Touch down! I got it.

I got it.

-'Thankfully, range anxiety would be a thing of the past.'

-Oh, yeah!

-Plug it in.

-Hold on, stay with me. I'm plugging.

-We got it!

-We got it.

-I'm charging!

-Yes!

-I'm charging while driving.

-Great.

-How many amps is that?

-15.

-I need 400.

Couple of days, you should be fine.

We could do this as a service for people.

Rut and Adam's Electro Re-fuelling.

I knew it would work.

You're a man of science, Rutledge Wood.

-This is genius.

-Well, it's something.

It only takes a truck getting 17 miles a gallon

for an electric car to charge.

-You're saving the Earth.

-One charge at a time. Excellent.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

-I don't know why you keep encouraging our man Rutledge.

I mean, so your solution for everybody who owns an electric car

is to buy a gas-powered truck,

a gas-powered generator and have it lead you round everywhere you go.

-It's genius.

-LAUGHTER

It's about as good an idea

-as you getting behind the wheel of a race truck.

-Aw.

-I'm just saying.

-All right, all right.

The important thing is we've all learned something here today.

Thank you.

We've learnt never to let you be in charge of this programme again.

That's all the time we have, we'll see you next time.

That is not....

CHEERING