Limos Top Gear USA

'Now on Top Gear...'

Even better than I could've thought.

'..it's Grey Poupon time as we compete to build the best one-of-a-kind limos

'and then drive three unsuspecting celebrities to the Primetime Emmys.'

-I'm going to turn around right here. Is this what you want?

-Let me out of here!

'The first stretch limousine was built in 1928

'at Fort Smith, Arkansas,

'and they quickly came to represent sophistication and accomplishment.

'But these days, they're being built from just about any kind of car

'and are more about the excesses of bachelor parties and proms.

'So we thought we should try to get some of the excitement back by making our own.

'And to prove how good they were, we'd each chauffeur a major celebrity

'to one of the biggest Hollywood events of the year.

'The Emmys.

'The car I picked to transform into a limo...

'..deserved to get an extension.'

I give you the 1987 Corvette.

350 cubic inches of mid-life crisis fury.

The problem with a limo is it's basically like a couch on wheels and that's boring.

My limo is going to be all about performance.

This is going to be able to accelerate, brake and corner.

And it's going to be able to do a burn-out,

which is the minimum design specification I've laid out.

-THUNDER BOOMS

-I know what you're thinking.

Why would you want to make a limo

out of an '81 Volkswagen Rabbit pickup?

Well, frankly, I love it.

It's one of my favourite cars ever

and since it was my first car, it has a special place in my heart.

Also, I don't think it deserved to suffer the death

at the hands of Adam and Tanner that it did.

TYRES SCREECH

ALL: Ohh!

-Is this yours?

-Oh, just put that in the truck.

Normally in limousines, you see presidents or dignitaries.

There's no blue-class limo.

I really think there should be. And that's what I'm going to make.

This is the 1969 Lincoln Mark III, a personal luxury car.

With a Rolls Royce grill on the front and full spare-tyre hump in the back.

The clock is a Cartier. That's how elegant this is. Cartier.

Picking a Lincoln to make a limousine is a pretty safe choice.

I mean, Lincoln's been making limousines forever.

The most popular one was the '61 Lincoln,

that Lee Harvey Oswald put an end to in '63.

'After choosing our cars, it was time

'to turn them into what we thought would be the best limo for the Emmys.'

We are going to make...that.

'All I wanted to do was enhance the beauty of my beloved VW.

'Tanner, of course, took his to a place that specialises in modifying exotic cars.'

Tanner, what brings you here?

-I brought a toy.

-Porsche? Ferrari? What are you driving these days?

-An '87 Corvette.

-HE LAUGHS

-Let's drive it.

ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SCREECH

HE LAUGHS

It's weird! It's a little bit hard to steer like this.

HE LAUGHS

Ohh!

'Fuelled by a night of energy drinks and power tools, our limos were finally ready.

'So we headed to the Top Gear test track to put them through their paces.'

'My design was all about Southern hospitality.

'What celebrity wouldn't want to get to the red carpet in this?'

So how do you make a Volkswagen Rabbit pickup better?

You just double it and add another Volkswagen Rabbit pickup.

I've got my tailgate set up in there, I've got a grill, a cooler, a nice table.

This is what a limo should be about, making something extraordinary

out of something...very ordinary.

'Tanner's design was the exact opposite.

'His limo represented the thing every Corvette owner wants - more length.'

TYRES SCREECH

-Oh, yeah!

-And people think I'm the redneck of this show.

Oh, this thing is awesome.

-You cut and stretched... a Corvette.

-You're damn straight I did.

-35 feet of Corvette.

-I like how you finished it inside.

'Like a true race-car driver, Tanner had spent zero time on his interior.

'He had a racing seat on rails for his celebrity, no air-conditioning,

'and in the rear, the drive train and the tail pipe were exposed.

'It wasn't so much a limo as a rolling sauna of exhaust fumes.'

The problem with limos is that they're boring.

They get you from A to B and then you just arrive.

But this, this is actually a driver's limo.

You can't get over a speed bump, I bet.

Speed bumps are the enemy, but you can avoid most speed bumps if you map them out on your route.

Shouldn't that be at a wedding in Panama City?

Is that a barbecue stuffed between two Rabbits?

This is the ultimate limo.

You've got Siamese Rabbits fused together in some sort of crazy experiment.

What happens if you need to turn around, real sharp turn?

-You plan ahead.

-Hm. You know what I'd do?

I'd just switch ends.

I'll drive here, I'll drive there, I'll drive anywhere.

-Wow.

-It's amazing!

-I don't know what to expect from Adam after seeing that.

-Maybe it's a Model A.

-Oh, my lord, it's a Popemobile!

-Ohh!

-SIREN WAILS

-Even better than I could've thought.

-Ha-ha!

-Wow, a Mark III Lincoln!

-That's it, baby!

-Wow!

-With a chair sitting on it.

Highly exclusive. I carry one passenger.

-This is a terrible idea.

-Get in.

-I cannot...

-Come on.

-Right this way, Mr Foust.

-It's plywood.

-It's like a clear box of death.

-It's a prototype. Eventually this will be bulletproof.

-OK, get in there.

-That is nasty.

-Sit down!

-Where did you get the chair? It smells bad.

-Tanner! This seems like a terrible idea!

This is going to fall off of this car when you crash.

I'm not going to crash. Let me guess.

-That's you.

-Oh, yeah. You know that thing is awesome.

-That's "louchey".

-Look at that!

-That's long and douchey.

-You see the skid marks? That thing does burn-outs like you read about.

-It's terrible!

Not the first time he's asked someone if they've seen his skid marks.

It is just terrible. And you've just made it longer.

-It's quick. I had to modify the suspension.

-It's awful!

See the way the suspension has no flex? See that?

-It's quick, it rides like a brick.

-ADAM LAUGHS

It's not made for comfort, it's built for speed.

It's built for stupidity. Wait a minute. Let me guess.

You're going for the two-headed German hillbilly market.

-I'm going for the working man with this.

-It's an automotive push-me-pull-you.

This thing's ugly coming and going.

OK, you have an unnatural attraction to Rabbits.

You're like Lennie from Mice And Men.

'We each thought our limos were the perfect way to make a grand entrance at the Emmys.

'But before we could deliver our celebrities to the red carpet,

'we needed to put them through some rigorous testing.

'The first challenge for our homemade limos was a quarter-mile race to the end of our test track and back.'

See, this is how you tell what a good limo is.

-You race it. It's about being on time.

-No, it's not.

-Let's do this. Come on.

-It's going to take you an hour and a half to walk to your driver's seat.

-I'm going to go to this side cos it's closer.

-You can go to that side.

-Don't be jealous of my length.

-I bet you've never said that before.

TYRES SCREECH

-"OK, you guys ready?"

-I'm ready. Are you ready?

-Let's do it!

-Why does he do this?

-TYRES SCREECH

-Why does he do this?

-Three, two, one, go!

TYRES SCREECH

Yeah! That's a limo burn-out right there!

Come on, baby. Come on, baby, that's it!

All right!

Aw, really? Come on, damn it! Damn it!

We're good. Now we've just got to make the turn.

Oh, here comes Adam.

OK. Keep it in neutral. Lock the wheel.

'I'd taken an early lead, but quickly realised one of the design flaws of a 35-foot car.'

A little bit of off-roading! 'The turning radius.'

No! The Popemobile's winning!

Come on, Corvette! You got it!

Ha-ha! That's right!

Ha-ha! Yes!

Ohh.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome back to Top Gear. We were trying to make the perfect limo to take celebrities to the Emmys.

And as you can see, Rut was aiming for celebrities like the Swamp People.

I love the Swamp People and you know that.

Of course you do, they're your neighbours, you live right up the street.

On the other hand, I took a beautiful sports car

and turned it into a 35-foot piece of art.

-Piece of what?

-Art.

-Oh.

-LAUGHTER

What kind of sports car is it when my Lincoln just dusted it in the drag race?

Yeah, that's true, except that limos aren't all about speed,

they're all about comfort and how you ride.

So for our next challenge, we went around the Top Gear test track while trying to make martinis.

Yeah. The problem is, this time we weren't doing the driving.

Ah, this isn't good.

I should've thought to put a bar in here.

Go!

TYRES SCREECH / GLASS SMASHES

-Agh!

-THEY LAUGH

Ohh.

I like my martinis very dry, so I'm just going to wave the vermouth.

-Oh, that has to be so scary.

-You could not pay me enough.

One, two, three.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's cheap gin!

Here he comes. Oh, my gosh.

Did you see the look on his face?

He's got one made! What?

-Are you OK?

-You all right?

-Very good.

-Is that an actual martini?

-I have four.

-You do not!

-Come on in, folks.

-I had to lock myself in.

-It doesn't seem very safe.

OK. That's for you.

-There you go.

-How is it?

-I had four.

-One.

One? He's got one right there, I've got one, you've got one. That's three.

Stig, you don't get any.

'Somehow, Adam was able to mix three martinis.

'Tanner and his lipstick limo were up next.'

There you go. Keep going.

-Are you back there?

-I'm back here!

Three, two, one, go!

TYRES SCREECH Oh, my God!

The Stig spun a tyre.

Come on!

I like it shaken.

Oh, God!

They might pull it off.

No! No! The G forces are too much!

Aghh!

Is he going to make the turn?

Wow! It's so stupid-looking!

Are you freaking kidding me?

-Wow, you're a mess.

-Did you try to make it in the ice bucket?

I made them all in the ice bucket. I'm just going to pour it out into the glasses.

You didn't make them all in the ice bucket.

Agh! No! Come on!

Really?

-There was so much hard work and death-defying...

-That one doesn't have anything in there.

You're still shaking. How bad was the ride? Honestly, how bad was that ride?

-Was it scary?

-I don't want to talk about it.

-How's your stomach?

-That was the scariest freaking thing I've ever done.

OK, you didn't get any. Your number to beat is three.

-I don't care. I'm just glad to be back.

-OK.

-Nice to see him scared.

-Whatever.

'Tanner made zero martinis. But I would have no problem in my limo.

'It was made for hospitality.'

-Rut, are you ready?

-You bet I'm ready.

-Stig, three, two, one, go!

-Look at this.

-Oh, crap. There I go. All right.

-That's so sad on the acceleration.

Oh, the wind is picking up, the wind is really picking up!

Look at that. It's so ugly.

It looks like a puppy getting pulled by its tail.

Ohh!

Oh, it's so cold!

I need more vermouth. Come on.

-There's one. Oh. Oh, God.

-CLATTERING

This is so comfortable! This is an amazing ride!

-Oh! Oh!

-The Stig's working him pretty good now.

-Yeah.

-Holy...

-TYRES SCREECH

THEY LAUGH

Oh, God, this is going to be bad.

Whoa!

Ohh! Ohh, thank God.

-You've got to be kidding me.

-Oh, he's a mess!

ADAM LAUGHS

-Stop eating the olives.

-ADAM LAUGHS

-Did you throw up?

-I did not throw up. I don't feel very good.

So, you got none. Let's review real quickly.

I won the first one, I won the second one. What's next?

'Adam's human aquarium may have excelled in the first two training sessions,

'but the next challenge for our celebrity chariots

'was an obstacle course. The ultimate handling test.

'We had to slalom through parked cars, parallel park and pick up a passenger

'while being shot at by tennis balls, navigate through the paparazzi

'and make it past a water cannon.

'The fastest time would win.'

-All right, I've got a stopwatch. This is the start/finish line. You ready?

-I'm ready.

Three, two, one, go!

-And he's off.

-THEY LAUGH

-It's so terrible.

-Come on, baby.

-Whoa!

-It's surprisingly manoeuvrable.

Oh, lord, here we go. OK, I'm through there.

Now time for parallel parking. Oh, jeez, I'm getting hit! I'm getting hit!

-Ow! Oh!

-THEY LAUGH

Come on. Come on, power steering. OK.

-OK.

-He just hit the Cad!

-All right, tennis balls.

-HE LAUGHS

-Holy... Oh! Holy...

THEY LAUGH

Oh! Ow!

Agh! Agh! Get in there!

-THEY LAUGH

-Holy...

Oh, my gosh, this is so satisfying. I don't know why. ADAM LAUGHS

Ohh! Uh-oh. Paparazzi.

Ohh! Oh. That hurts.

-Ohh! Oh, no!

-Crank that water cannon.

-Agh, water cannon!

There is goes. Ohh!

And across the line.

-Holy

-BLEEP!

-Holy

-BLEEP!

-How did he do?

-It's a 1:52. Is that good? Who knows if that's good.

Did you see that tennis ball?

-Kind of, but...

-It was like a heat-seeker!

I barely missed it!

-Oh, my God!

-You're very nimble.

I don't know if 1:52 is a good time, but...

What did you set the tennis ball shooter at?

-85.

-Holy

-BLEEP!

-This can't be good.

-Wow, your heart is racing, isn't it?

-Five it! Five that!

-Good job.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-When I heard that we would be building custom limousines,

I assumed it would be all champagne and caviar.

Instead, it's water cannons and tennis balls being launched at my head.

Really? What about this show has ever been champagne and caviar?

-Hm. Nothing.

-Yeah. LAUGHTER

It kind of serves you right for building a car that goes 12 miles an hour.

I mean, let me get this straight. You've got two engines. Can you even use them both at the same time?

-Well, not with one driver, no.

-OK.

So you've doubled the weight, and by only using one engine, you've cut the horsepower in half.

-It sounds different on paper, I think.

-Yeah. LAUGHTER

I don't think you'll do much better because you're up next and with this mid-life-crisis-mobile,

35-foot car, slalom, braking? Good luck.

I'll count you down. Are you ready?

-ENGINE REVS

-Three, two, one, go!

TYRES SCREECH

-RUTLEDGE LAUGHS

-Are you kidding?

Oh, my gosh.

-How is he making that?

-I got this.

-Ohh!

-Window up.

-That's not a parallel park!

-No!

Ow!

This doesn't count.

-Come on!

-He is getting nailed!

-He's getting the tennis balls!

-Oh, here he comes.

Watch it! ADAM LAUGHS

Oh, this is fast!

-Oh, he's using him like a shield!

-Human shield!

-Ow!

-He lost the hand!

-Agh!

-The hand's fallen off!

-THEY LAUGH

-He's throwing him in the trunk!

-THEY LAUGH

-He just left his arms!

-Take that!

-Oh, he's throwing the tennis balls back!

-Fight! Fight!

TYRES SCREECH Come on, come on, come on!

-Come on, big guy.

-Oh, he's not going to make that.

-Here's the water cannon.

-Coming through!

-Ohh!

-Look out! A little wet.

-Ohh! Ohh!

-THEY LAUGH

-What the

-BLEEP?

-THEY LAUGH

-There's a cone underneath

and there are legs hanging out.

TYRES SCREECH

What's the time?

-What happened to your guy?

-He's fine.

-He's fine?

-Where's his arms?

-He has no arms.

-I think he was like that.

-No, he wasn't.

-Oh, shit. THEY LAUGH

-Oh, wow.

-Is he alive?

I hope he didn't get chopped up by the drive shaft.

-Oh, no!

-Look at his head! Look at his head!

-There's a stain here.

-He pissed himself.

THEY LAUGH

-What time did he do?

-You got, on the clock, a 1:35.

-Oh, my gosh!

-Oh, but there's more.

-I figure there's at least ten seconds penalty...

-For this.

-..for the arms.

-He didn't keep him safe.

-I can live with that.

-Ten seconds for the parallel parking.

-I...

-You came in the back way.

And ten seconds for the paparazzi you hit.

You killed a guy, you only got ten seconds.

That's 30 seconds tacked on. That means you were 2:05.

-2:05.

-No way!

Democratic. Who thinks it should be 2:05?

The ayes have it. I'll go next.

-Good luck.

-Love democracy.

-OK, time to beat, 1:52.

-1:52.

-Are you ready?

-Let's do this.

-Stand back.

-ENGINE REVS Whoa! Hear the Lincoln!

On your marks, get set, go!

TYRES SCREECH

-Whoa! That thing is fast!

-Squealing tyres!

-Throttle hung!

-Holy...

-Are you OK?

-You all right?

Remember when I told you the accelerator sticks?

THEY LAUGH

-Did you hear the Mercedes just hit the wall?

-Yeah.

-It was a fairly substantial hit.

-I had to make a choice.

Either take that Mercedes out or I'm going to end up killing one of those guys.

-You didn't make any choices there.

-I'm telling you!

-I went like this! I'm like,

-"BLEEP,

-I'm dead."

You pushed my Mercedes all the way to the building.

And let that be a lesson to you.

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news. You did not pick up a passenger.

-You did not get hit by a tennis ball.

-True.

And your car looks like it's totally fine.

-Yep. Other than that...

-So, if we stop the clock right now, that's 2:04. How does that feel?

It feels terrible. Stop the clock when I hit the Mercedes.

-So I think I win.

-I didn't say that.

-I didn't say that.

-I'm fairly certain I win.

-No one got killed. The mannequin's safer than in your car.

-That could be true.

I still won, but that's a good point.

-What's next?

-THEY LAUGH

'Our day-long training course was over,

'and though there had been a few minor issues with comfort...'

Oh, it's so cold! It's so cold!

'..performance...' A little bit of off-roading!

'..and manoeuvrability,

'it was time to put them into service,

'driving three of television's elite to the red carpet

'at one of the most glamorous awards shows in the world.'

'The Primetime Emmys. Where image is everything

'and a grand entrance is crucial.'

-SCRAPING

-Ow.

This is perfect for Hollywood.

You will never see another car like this.

The best celebrity I could get would be like an action star.

That'd be ideal. Somebody mellow but also...actiony.

I think when my celebrity sees this car, they're going to get it.

They're going to say, "This is it. This is broad appeal to all classes."

'We didn't know who our celebrities were.

'All we knew was where to pick them up and that we had to get them to the red carpet by 3:30 sharp.

'Adam was the first to arrive.'

It's Carl Reiner. No. Cloris Leachman.

'I couldn't believe it. I was going to be driving the legendary comedic actress

'and nine-time Emmy-winner Cloris Leachman.'

-SHE LAUGHS

-'She was very excited.'

-SHE LAUGHS

-That's the funniest thing I ever saw!

All for you. I'm going to set this up.

-Set it down.

-Set that down, yes. Now I'm going to go open the door.

Now, this whole car is designed so you can make an entrance.

-Here I come. OK.

-SHE LAUGHS

Knees... This is it.

-This is it?

-That's as far as I go.

Oh, I'm nervous. Nervous.

'My passenger was next to emerge.

'Glamorous celebrity correspondent Terri Seymour from Extra.

'She was sure to love my Rabbits.'

-You're taking me to the Emmys in this?

-Yes.

I have this beautiful seat, there's a nice racing harness and stuff for you,

but I don't... I don't know how that's going to work with your dress.

-You want me to sit in here?

-Erm...

'Tanner had run into a small problem of his own at his pick-up location.'

GRINDING I'm stuck.

-Oh!

-There we go. OK.

-SHE LAUGHS

-I'm just going to put you down here for a minute.

-OK. Now I'll come round and get you on the other side.

-Come around?

-OK.

-Come on.

-SHE LAUGHS

-OK.

-There's glue or something on the back or spit.

-Yeah.

-Looks like spit to me.

-Yeah, we're going to have that fixed.

-It's a little insulation. Pay no attention to that.

-Is that your gum?

-You could sit right here.

-I'm not going to have to drive, am I?

-Probably not.

-Just checking.

-Probably not.

-There is a chance.

-Oops. I'm caught in my dress.

-Oh, goodness.

-Are you ready, Cloris?

-I'm ready!

'With 30 minutes to go until the Emmys,

'Adam and I had picked up our VIPs.' There you go.

'While Tanner's length was still causing him problems.'

Oh, my God, I'm dying. This is so embarrassing.

Hey, now it's time for Big Star, Small Car,

and our star today is the star of True Blood, Mr Stephen Moyer!

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

Are you ready to get out there and run some laps?

I am so excited. I hope they're going to get new tyres.

Don't you worry about that. We'll take care of it.

We'll see you in the hangar. Good luck. Stephen Moyer!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Come on, son.

-TYRES SCREECH

'The time to beat is 1 minute 41 seconds, set by Patrick Warburton.

'Let's see if Stephen can top that.

'Now, this is a lot of speed for the first turn.'

-Too wide.

-HE LAUGHS

'We call that using all the race track. And watch this!

-'So much speed coming through there, really getting everything he can.'

-Not wide enough.

'Now, this is where it gets hard, coming down here into the teardrop.'

I hate this corner! Ease off. Slow and steady wins the race.

-'Except Stephen is neither of those.'

-That's better.

'He is just blazing around the track.

'At the halfway point he's two seconds faster than Patrick Warburton.

'If he can keep this pace up, we could have a new leader.'

Come on, boy. Remember to brake. Remember to brake.

-TYRES SCREECH

-'Look at that speed through there, all the tyres are singing now.'

No, you idiot! That's utter rubbish!

'He's going to turn right, come back in towards the esses.'

-Ahhhh! Come on, you

-BLEEP!

'Oh, I think he's going to do it. He's going wide on the last turn,

'and look at that, he is across the line!'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Come on up, Stephen.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Stephen Moyer! How was it, buddy?

-Great.

-Have a seat.

-Thank you.

Now, I've got to be honest,

I did not know that vampires could drive cars, but you were hauling ass out there.

LAUGHTER

I even smashed up a car in True Blood. I've, sort of, become quite good at it.

Now, that's weird, because you haven't wrecked every car you've owned,

just almost every car you've owned, some of them twice. How does that happen?

I don't know. I like driving things as fast as they will go.

-Now, that's not the only car you've ever flipped, though.

-No.

LAUGHTER

-Which one? Which one do you want to know about?

-Yeah, that's funny, which one?

-Was it a Bug? A VW Beetle?

-The Beetle, yeah. Blue.

-How did that end up?

-HE LAUGHS

-Erm...

-LAUGHTER

-There's two ways of getting back to my mum's house, back in those days.

One was... Well, three ways, actually.

There's the back of the police car, which I forgot to add.

LAUGHTER

No, there's, like, the main roads back,

and then there's, like, country roads back,

and I always used to take the country roads, and, erm,

and I rolled the car, and took it over and put it in a ditch, and...

-..didn't know I was upside down until I undid the seat belt.

-LAUGHTER

And then did what everybody does in that situation, run.

-LAUGHTER

-And then I got about 100 yards away

and I could hear The Jam playing, which is a band from England,

-I could hear The Jam rocking out in the middle of the countryside.

-LAUGHTER

And I realised that my stereo was still on.

-LAUGHTER

-So, I ran back to try and find the car,

and I couldn't find it

because I'd landed in a ditch, which is curved like that,

which is exactly how a Beetle is curved.

So upside down, it was just part of the landscape.

And I, sort of, searched around until I could see, like, these little wheels...

-LAUGHTER

-..and turned it off and then ran.

You have not had many speeding tickets, though, have you?

-Ah.

-LAUGHTER

And here's what I am wondering.

You, on True Blood, have a very thick Southern accent,

more thick than mine and I grew up in Alabama.

So much so that I didn't know you were from the UK, watching the show,

and I wondered, do you try to turn on a little Southern charm

in an instance like that? What do you do?

There was this one particular occasion where I was in Wyoming,

and it was a beautiful full moon, like I'd never seen before,

so I decided to film it while I was driving along,

-and, er...

-LAUGHTER

So I'm, like, out the window, like this,

-filming this thing.

-HE MIMICS POLICE SIREN

And so I pull over and a guy goes, "What are you doing, son?"

-"I'm filming the moon."

-LAUGHTER

-"Beautiful." But that's when you become really English.

-Right.

"I'm so sorry, officer, I didn't know we couldn't do that."

-LAUGHTER

-"Absolutely...

-"..beautiful."

-APPLAUSE

So you lay on the English pretty thick.

And I was thinking, "I'm going to end up walking a line, getting to the thing,"

and he said, "Yeah, it's pretty beautiful.

"If you drive down a couple of hundred yards and then turn right,

"there'll be like a little place you can pull over there,

"there's no street lamps and you'll get a much better view."

-LAUGHTER

-"Oh, OK. Thank you very much."

-No way!

-Yeah.

-That stuff doesn't happen to us!

-That's total opposite. Good for you.

-It was cool.

How do you think you did on your lap in the Suzuki?

I don't know. I don't know. I enjoyed it. It was great.

I'd like to... I begged them to let me have another lap but they wouldn't let me.

Isn't that funny? Well, let's take a look. What in your mind would be a good time?

Because there's obviously... It's a pretty big margin.

Kid Rock's lap is probably THE lap there, isn't it?

-In the wet.

-To do that in the wet.

-Yeah, that's impressive.

So I'd love to be above that, but, I mean, I don't know.

Wow! First time out and you're just going to throw it out like that.

-Do you guys want to know the time?

-AUDIENCE CHEER

-All right, are you ready?

-Yep.

You did it in 1 minute...

-..39.3!

-CHEERING

Top of the board!

-We have a new leader!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Two seconds. More than two seconds.

Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Moyer!

-Thank you. Thank you.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

'To try to restore some lost lustre to the ultimate luxury vehicle,

'we'd each designed one-of-a-kind limos.

'Rut's two-way Rabbit had won the manoeuvrability challenge

'and Adam's Lincoln Popemobile had taken a speed and comfort test.

'And he'd already picked up his celebrity for a final challenge of delivering A-listers to the Emmys.

'With only 25 minutes to show time, I was way behind

'and I'd only just arrived at my pick-up location.'

-We're just right over here.

-Bloody hell, Tanner, you're a bit scruffy, aren't you?

-I'm...

-You could have made an effort. It's the Emmys.

'My passenger was one of the judges from the Emmy-nominated Dancing With The Stars,

-'Bruno Tonioli.'

-BLEEP

-me!

-'He loved his ride.'

-How am I supposed to go in there?

-OK, so, it's a little bit awkward at first,

but basically, there's a seat right here and it's on sliders.

Very effortlessly it will slide you right back.

'All I needed to do was load him in and we'd be on our way.'

-Oh!

-Watch your head.

-I'm very hot.

-Yeah.

-I've got to get the air conditioning going.

-You make me go very hot, Tanner.

-Oh!

-That's it.

OK, we'll try to get you there on time. Just enjoy the performance.

Agh!

'I was behind, but unlike the other two, my limo was built for speed.'

Safety! Safety!

'I designed my limo for comfort and Ms Leachman was loving it!'

-SHE LAUGHS

-You doing all right?

-Oh, yeah.

I have screen legend Cloris Leachman in this car.

-That's right.

-SHE LAUGHS

Have you ever been in a Rabbit pickup before? You seem like a classy gal.

Yeah, I'm a classy girl, I've never been in one before.

-Hm.

-And I'm never going in one again.

-Oh!

-Ooh!

Agh!

'I was closing in fast.

-'Bruno may not have been the happiest passenger...'

-Get me out of this.

'..but the Corvette was going to get him there on time.'

This is a mess. You haven't thought about the comfort of it.

Tanner! Why don't you get a Rolls Royce?

Anybody can have a Rolls Royce, this is a Corvette.

-It was either this or a Hummer.

-A what? A hammer?

Well, I don't mind a hammer, actually. A hammer or two.

-Tanner!

-Yes?

I think, when you did this car,

you were thinking about penis enlargement.

Because this really is the automotive equivalent

of a penis extension.

It may be bigger,

it may be throbbing, but it doesn't work!

'While Tanner and Bruno were getting to know each other...'

-I think you have to give me a massage after this.

-Er...

'..Terri was getting the full experience of my VW.'

We're going the wrong way! You're on a one-way street!

'I may have made a wrong turn but I was hoping to impress Terri with my ingenious design.'

-We're on a one-way street.

-Don't worry about that.

Don't worry about that. Here, come on with me.

-You're going the wrong way!

-OK, you just hang tight.

-I can't believe we're on a one-way street.

-I'm sorry about that. Just... Damn that door! OK, hang tight.

-HORN BLARES

-OK, here we go.

-Now we're going the right way.

'But the one-way roads hadn't been so easy to conquer in Adam's Lincoln.

-'He was miles off course.'

-This doesn't look right.

-This doesn't look right.

-Where the

-BLEEP

-are you taking me?

-Do you know where you're going?

-'I had no idea.'

I just want to get there, Tanner.

And I hope I will never see you again!

'My ability to drive any direction on any street put us three blocks away from the Emmys.

'But the strain from the extra weight was beginning to take its toll on my Rabbit's tiny engine.'

-Can you smell that burning?

-Something's burning?

Yeah, something's going on here.

OK, I just need to stop for just a minute and figure this out.

-Oh, no.

-OK?

-In the middle of the street?

'We managed to get out of Skid Row,

'but Cloris had lost confidence in my ability to get her to the Emmys on time.'

-Chop a left, right here!

-All right, I'll turn around.

Let me see you turn! Start turning!

No, go right. Hurry up. Right! Right!

'Tanner was only a half a mile out and closing in.'

Just get me out of here. Right now!

'Rutledge was even closer, but his over-heated Rabbits would not be an easy fix.'

But how long will it take to fix it?

Probably, if I'm doing it, probably five or six hours.

-Guess I'll just hope I find a taxi.

-Probably right...

I can't... I have to stay with the car. Probably over there.

Damn it, I blew it!

'Now it was Corvette versus Lincoln.'

-I think it's right over there.

-No, it's not there.

We're just going in circles.

'We only had four minutes to get to the Emmys,

'so I took a risk and made a shortcut.' SCRAPING

Oh! Oh!

-Did you hear that?

-No.

That was like the Titanic hitting an iceberg,

and we are going to sink, darling, we are going to sink.

-Turn left, you know what to do!

-I'll turn around right here.

Fine! Fine! I'm going to turn around right here. This is what you want.

-CRASHING

-Holy God! Holy God!

-You dumb

-BLEEP!

-Let me out of here!

-Oh, God.

-Hold on.

Ah, that's not good.

-We ran into a little problem.

-Get away from me!

-Hold on.

-You don't even know how to...

-Let me get the stairs for you.

-Wait a minute!

-You get away from me. I don't want you anywhere near me!

Get away from me! Hurry up, get away from me!

-OK.

-You can open the door and that's all.

-Back up! Back up!

-I'm just opening the door.

-You don't know what you're doing. You dumb stupid...

This isn't good. That's no way to make an entrance!

'With the Rabbit and the Lincoln out of the picture,

'there was only one more obstacle between me and victory.

'Security.'

-Do you have anybody back there?

-Yes, I do. Can you open the trunk?

-How does it open?

-Just pull the string on the back there.

-Do what?

-All right. You can go.

-We made it.

-We made it! We made it!

-We made it!

-That was close.

'I knew all along that the Corvette limo was a winner.

'My celebrity made it to the red carpet with two minutes to spare.'

-This is just for you, Bruno.

-God! How am I going to get out?

-Pull it! Pull it hard!

-I'm pulling, I'm pulling.

Pull it harder! Pull it harder!

Oh, my God!

Get me out of here! Somebody help me!

-Don't forget your ticket.

-Oh, my ticket. Tanner... Ow!

-Watch your head.

-Jesus! Oh!

-Oh!

-Bruno, you better...

-Next time, rethink the car.

-Tanner!

-Have a good night!

-Go to hell!

-Oh!

-I know you enjoyed that.

I know you did.

He's secretly in denial. I know he is.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I've got to admit, I wasn't sure that Corvette would make it,

-but it turns out, the limo ride of the future is the Corvette.

-Oh, please.

You know, I may not have won but I do know I gave Terri a ride she will never forget.

-TANNER SNIGGERS

-Yes, you did. You made her take a cab.

But I didn't almost kill my passenger like you did with poor Cloris.

I mean, you put her in that cage of death.

What cage of death? It's a seat of honour.

And poor Cloris? Do you know the language that woman used on me?

-It was just rude.

-OK, we're losing focus here.

The fact is, Corvette made it to the Emmys,

that means it's the best limo, that's all we've got time for!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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