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Tonight, Richard drives a muscle car, | 0:00:11 | 0:00:15 | |
I wear some unusual trousers | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
and there's a wizard in our reasonably priced car. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:21 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
Hello, thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
Thank you. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
Now, in the past, if you were a successful businessman | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
and you wanted a large four-door saloon car, | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
you had a choice of Mercedes-Benz, BMW or Audi. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:44 | |
Now, though, you could have an Aston Martin or a Maserati or a Porsche. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:49 | |
And that should, at least, | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
make the world's financial districts sound a lot better. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:55 | |
These are the cars in question and it's our job to decide which is best... | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
The 4.7 litre Maserati Quattroporte GTS, | 0:01:18 | 0:01:23 | |
the six-litre Aston Martin Rapide | 0:01:23 | 0:01:27 | |
or the extremely ugly Porsche Panamera Turbo. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:32 | |
This isn't just hideous compared to the other two - | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
it's hideous compared to a...genital wart. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
By contrast, looks is where the Aston gets off to a flying start, | 0:01:40 | 0:01:44 | |
cos it doesn't really look like a saloon at all. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
More like a DB9 that's... taken a bit of Viagra. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:51 | |
In fact, you have to stare at it for a while before you can see it's got | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
four doors at all. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
The Quattroporte has now been with us for six years | 0:01:57 | 0:02:01 | |
but if anything, over that time, I think it's got even better looking. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:05 | |
-Ooh, it has. -You're not joking. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
When this first came out, I thought it looked like a Vauxhall Cresta. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
-Yes, you did. -But now, it's just spectacularly well balanced. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:15 | |
It's just cool, though, as well, isn't it? | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
When you see someone getting out of these, passers by go... | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
It is like a Mafia hit man. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
-I like these. -Oh, those are... -They work for me. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
When you sum up the looks of these, | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
you've got the ballet dancer, the hit man and someone who's been... | 0:02:28 | 0:02:33 | |
-Found at the bottom of a lake after two weeks. -Yes. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
And this is the man who threw him in there. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
Having examined the outside of the cars, | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
we thought we'd take a look at the inside, | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
where there were some issues. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:46 | |
In the Aston Martin, you need fingers like cocktail sticks to operate any of the buttons. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:52 | |
And in the Porsche, you need to be a rocket scientist to understand anything. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:57 | |
But worst of all is the Quattroporte. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
This is always going to be a bit of a problem for a small car maker because... | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
Well, Mercedes-Benz, they've probably got 1,000 people employed just to decide | 0:03:04 | 0:03:09 | |
where the buttons go on the satnav, but with the Maserati, | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
you get the feeling a man turns up on Tuesday and goes, | 0:03:11 | 0:03:15 | |
"Here is OK." | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
That's why it's blindingly difficult to operate everything in here, as we shall now demonstrate. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:23 | |
-Chaps, give me a straightforward task. -I'll give you a task. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:26 | |
-Adjust the clock. -OK. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
While James is doing that, Hammond and I have noticed that we've got these straps here. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:37 | |
These are fitted for you to be handcuffed to. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
"Don't take me to the warehouse. I can't find the money! | 0:03:40 | 0:03:45 | |
-"Please!" -"Just tell me where my children are." | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
-Ah, ah, ah! -"Set time and date." Go on, then. -Right, right. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:51 | |
Manual? Semi-automatic? | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
Oh, these are the weapons. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:56 | |
THEY CHUCKLE | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
I'm quite good at this sort of thing but that's rubbish. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
At this point, we decided to take a typical businessman's drive | 0:04:01 | 0:04:05 | |
from here in central London to a business park in Hampshire. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:10 | |
I wanted to drive the Maserati. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
Toodle-oo. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
Well, I'm not driving the Porsche. I'm just not. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
'Unfortunately, while I was telling Jeremy I wouldn't drive the Porsche... | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
'..James drove off in the Aston.' | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
Oh God. Why did I have to get stuck with this? | 0:04:28 | 0:04:33 | |
I grabbed the Aston, expecting perfection. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
But I didn't quite find it. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
You pay 91,000 for the Maserati, | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
97,000 for the Porsche | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
and then 140,000 for this. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
But I'm not exactly sure why. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:50 | |
For that sort of money, this thing has to be absolutely brilliant | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
but I'm not entirely convinced it is. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
It's a bit jiggly. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
I know it's a sort of supercar, | 0:04:58 | 0:04:59 | |
but it's supposed to be luxurious and comfortable as well. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
When it comes to criticism, though, you should have heard Mr Grumble-Trousers. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:09 | |
It's sort of massive for one thing - | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
I'm scared I might knock over a building. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
Oh God. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:16 | |
It's got a stop-start, | 0:05:16 | 0:05:19 | |
so the engine stops when you stop and starts when you hit the pedal to move away. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:23 | |
What's...? To save petrol. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
In a 4.7 litre V8 turbo. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
That's like buying Buckingham Palace, then living in the kitchen to save wearing the carpets out. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:33 | |
Then there's the pricing. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
Yes, at £97,000, this does look like good value against the Aston Martin. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:41 | |
Then you discover you have to pay extra for things like the rear windscreen wiper. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:46 | |
Don't be tight. 97 grand - chuck in a windscreen wiper, eh? | 0:05:46 | 0:05:51 | |
-Hammond. -Yep? -I don't like looking at your car. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:55 | |
It's the only thing that brightens my day knowing you have got to look at it and I haven't. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:59 | |
No, there's its reflection! God, it's hideous. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:03 | |
Up ahead, there was a chance for the Porsche to redeem itself. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
Ooh, hello. Tunnel. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
There it is. Sport. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
No noise at all. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:20 | |
On a 4.7 litre V8, and... | 0:06:20 | 0:06:24 | |
I can't hear anything. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
'The Aston put on a better show.' | 0:06:26 | 0:06:30 | |
Not bad. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
'But then came the Maserati.' | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
What I'm going to do now is push the sport button. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:38 | |
ENGINE REVS LOUDLY | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
Oh, my God! Whoo-hoo-hoo! | 0:06:41 | 0:06:44 | |
What this button does is it turns carbon dioxide into noise. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:50 | |
'However, like the other two, I had complaints.' | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
The sports noise - that's good. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:59 | |
The trouble is they've also fitted it with sports suspension and that's not good. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:04 | |
If you can afford £100,000 to spend on a car, | 0:07:05 | 0:07:09 | |
chances are you're a bit old, and old people don't want to drive along like this. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:14 | |
That's not comfy. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
'And there was more.' | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
I honestly thought James was being stupid, but he isn't. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:21 | |
I can't fathom anything out. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
There are buttons I've just found on the back of the steering wheel - | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
six of them. No idea what they do. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
'On the uneventful one-hour cruise to the business park...' | 0:07:34 | 0:07:39 | |
-HE SNIGGERS -Do I care that I don't know what the buttons do? No. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:43 | |
'..I worked out a way to describe | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
'the unhinged but bewitching Quattroporte.' | 0:07:47 | 0:07:51 | |
Owning this car is like owning a two-year-old child. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:54 | |
It's really annoying for a lot of the time but if someone tried to take it away from you... | 0:07:54 | 0:07:58 | |
-You'd kill them. -You'd kill! | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
'Then, since the park was closed, we decided to turn it into a race track. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:05 | |
'And in the Maserati, Hammond quickly got what I was on about.' | 0:08:07 | 0:08:12 | |
Oh, my word! | 0:08:12 | 0:08:13 | |
This is a four-door saloon car but it sounds utterly magnificent. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:26 | |
It's just got so much style. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:27 | |
I don't care what the flaws are - | 0:08:27 | 0:08:30 | |
I don't care if it picks its nose and farts in bed - I love this thing. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
It's got such a sense of fun about it. That is the whole point. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:38 | |
Even if you're trying to keep that lid down. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:40 | |
'Mind you, the Aston wasn't bad either.' | 0:08:42 | 0:08:46 | |
Do you know what this is? I'll tell you exactly what this is. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
It is exciting. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
There's a subtle, refined rage to this car. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
It is not as sharp as a Vantage or DB9 or DBS, | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
but as a four-door saloon car, it's spectacular. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:11 | |
'Here on the business park raceway, | 0:09:11 | 0:09:15 | |
'even the four-wheel drive Elephant Man is making a case for itself.' | 0:09:15 | 0:09:19 | |
God above! This thing's great. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
It feels big, but whoo! | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
Staggering. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:30 | |
I'm just amazed by this car. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
Dynamically, it is as fabulous as it is gopping to look at. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
'Frankly, we could have fooled about all day in these cars, | 0:09:42 | 0:09:46 | |
'but we decided to induce a bit of science by laying out a course | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
'and then summoning the head of accounts.' | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
-Is he ready? -Yes, believe so. Of course he is - he's the Stig. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:03 | |
Three, two, one, go. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
-They sold 1,000... -Ssh! | 0:10:07 | 0:10:10 | |
What were you going to say? | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
I was going to say that they sold 1,000 of those Maseratis over a five-year period | 0:10:16 | 0:10:20 | |
-but over the save same five years, they sold nearly 15,000 Mercedes S Classes. -He's coming back! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:25 | |
You know the Ferrari F438? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
What?! | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
He got a bit squirrely there. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
I've had a crisis! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:45 | |
35.8. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:46 | |
'With the Maserati's time on the board...' | 0:10:46 | 0:10:49 | |
'..the Stig lined up the Aston.' | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
Three, two, one, and go. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
I'm very angry! | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
But why is it so expensive? | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
-I think they're charging 140,000 cos they can. -Yeah. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:14 | |
Ooh! He is brave. Isn't he brave? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
OK, the Aston Martin Rapide. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
There's your Maserati, 35.81. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:32 | |
Rapide... | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
-35.25. -Ooh! | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
So 50 grand and you go | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
0.6 of a second faster round Farnborough business park. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:43 | |
-It is an important piece of consumer advice. -I'd spend an extra 50 grand for that. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:48 | |
Right. It's time now... | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
for the Porsche. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
Three, two, one, go. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:58 | |
Has it gone? | 0:11:59 | 0:12:00 | |
You two haven't given it the full beans yet, have you? | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
-No. -It's absolutely astonishing. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:05 | |
-I have to say, I like the look of it now. -You can't... | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
No, it's behind that building. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
-It's back! -I've got to look. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
Right. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:36 | |
The Porsche did it in... | 0:12:38 | 0:12:41 | |
35.1, which is only a tenth of a second faster, | 0:12:41 | 0:12:45 | |
but nevertheless, that thing, I think, is astonishingly fast. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
It is. That's all very well, but which would you rather walk out to in the morning? | 0:12:49 | 0:12:53 | |
The Maserati or the Aston that'll make your trousers go all hot, | 0:12:53 | 0:12:56 | |
or the Porsche - they do! - which makes a bit of sick come into your mouth when you see it. | 0:12:56 | 0:13:01 | |
Which would you rather have? That's the thing. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:03 | |
HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY | 0:13:03 | 0:13:06 | |
Nobody's watching. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:07 | |
Nobody is actually in there, are they? | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
You've all come along and you... | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
The World Cup is on BBC One and ITV. How many people do you think are watching? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:16 | |
We could just talk in a high-pitched squeak. Eek, eek! It's just us. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
-Why don't you get naked? Go on. -LAUGHTER | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
-Anyway, I have a theory about those cars. -Oh, God! -Joy(!) | 0:13:22 | 0:13:26 | |
It's one of my better theories, this is. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
If I were a businessman and I were invited to go and do business | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
on a business park in Hampshire, I'd use Skype. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
-Not go, yeah. -I wouldn't go, | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
but if I had an Aston, a Maserati or even the Porsche, | 0:13:36 | 0:13:39 | |
-I would drive down there because they make... -Your day more special? | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
They make driving more special. For that reason alone, | 0:13:42 | 0:13:45 | |
I like them more than the established BMs and Mercs and Audis. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:48 | |
We haven't finished with them yet - there'll be more testing later, | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
-sort of, but for now it's the news. -Yes, it is, | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
and talking about the Porsche Panamera, | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
-you would think, would you not, that it's impossible to make that car any uglier. -Yes. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:03 | |
The ugliest thing in the world. Well, it is. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
There's a Swiss company called Mansory and here is their creation. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:10 | |
It actually is uglier, isn't it? | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
I'm going to be sick. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
That is... How much is it? | 0:14:15 | 0:14:16 | |
£133,000, they want for that monstrosity! | 0:14:16 | 0:14:20 | |
I like the interior best of all. Have a look. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
It's like the set of a children's television programme. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
All it needs is a ball pit down here, | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
and then they've pretty much got it finished. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
Anyone go to the Goodwood Festival of Speed last weekend? Several. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
I wasn't able to make it, but I'm told they had a moving motor show there. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:38 | |
The idea was, unlike a normal motor show, where the cars just sit still, | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
you can jump in and have a go, | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
which sounds like a great idea, unless you're one of the four people who were run over. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:48 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
Seriously! I've got a picture here. Somebody got in a Honda Civic. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:54 | |
Is there any danger that these Goodwood people might take over the Farnborough Air Show? | 0:14:54 | 0:14:59 | |
"Next seven for a go in the Red Arrows. Come on." | 0:15:00 | 0:15:04 | |
"Welcome to the Goodwood interactive zoo. Now, who wants to do lion taming?" It doesn't work. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:09 | |
The Goodwood Festival of Live Ammunition. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
"Are there actual bullets in these guns? Is there a range?!" | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
"No, just help yourself. That's fantastic!" | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
Now, I'm going to tell you something very important. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:20 | |
The European Union, which is a big thing in Belgium... | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:23 | 0:15:24 | |
It is! They've decided that all car makers | 0:15:24 | 0:15:27 | |
must reach an average target for their whole range of car. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:31 | |
So here's how it works, OK? If BMW sell a V12 limousine, | 0:15:31 | 0:15:35 | |
they must then sell lots of little Diesel 1 Series cars | 0:15:35 | 0:15:40 | |
to keep the average of the CO2 down. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
It's averaged across the range of cars? | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
Now, Bugatti, it's not so bad, | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
because Bugatti's owned by Volkswagen, | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
and Volkswagen also makes the Polo, so that's fine. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:52 | |
But Aston Martin - bit of a problem, | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
cos Aston Martin isn't owned by VW or Ford, it's on its own. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
-And they only make big cars. -Only big, thirsty cars. They've got to get that average down, | 0:15:58 | 0:16:03 | |
so they've had to make a small car, OK? And we have a picture of it here. It's called the Cygnet. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:07 | |
AUDIENCE GROAN This is potentially disastrous, | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
because it risks ruining their reputation. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
What that is is a Toyota iQ with a leather gear knob | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
and then Toyota crossed out and Aston Martin written in in crayon. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:19 | |
-That's what that is. -Hang on a minute. If they just need to bring their average CO2 down, | 0:16:19 | 0:16:24 | |
why don't they just buy a bicycle factory? | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
Or they should do Aston Martin flowers, | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
cos they suck in CO2 and put out oxygen, and that would bring it crashing down! | 0:16:30 | 0:16:34 | |
I think it has to be a mode of transport - you can't go to work on some flowers. A horse? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:39 | |
-Scissors. -Have you ever tried sitting on a pair of scissors? | 0:16:39 | 0:16:43 | |
-LAUGHTER -Not yet. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:45 | |
-A cow. -Ostriches. They're quite exotic. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:49 | |
-Another one I've just thought of is Zonda. What are Zonda going to do? -Oh, that'll be easy. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
Well, they're Italian, aren't they? | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
They'll just lie - that's what they'll do. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
"Emissions is very important! Is it low or high? Low? OK. My emissions is one!" | 0:16:58 | 0:17:02 | |
And that's it. They'll just lie. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
Well, why don't Aston Martin just... | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
Why not take a leaf out of the European book and say, | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
"Yes, our cars don't really produce carbon dioxide at all." | 0:17:08 | 0:17:12 | |
If you say... The EU go and inspect a Spanish fishing boat and go, "Have you been fishing?" | 0:17:12 | 0:17:16 | |
-"No." -"What's all that in your boat?" "My lunch." | 0:17:16 | 0:17:19 | |
"It's a lot of fish. Hungry!" | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
This is the answer. Don't make that, Aston Martin. Just lie. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:25 | |
Right. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:26 | |
Now, it is time to put a Formula 1 star in our old, reasonably priced car. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:31 | |
My guest tonight is a Brazilian. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:35 | |
Not the triangular topiary thing, obviously. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:40 | |
It is a genuine Brazilian. Ladies and gentlemen, Rubens Barrichello! | 0:17:40 | 0:17:44 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
Rubens! | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
-How're you? -Nice to see you. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
-Rubens is among us. -Thank you. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
Have a seat. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
Have a seat! | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
I've got a question, if I may. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
Why has your country given its name to... | 0:18:03 | 0:18:07 | |
How can I put this? | 0:18:07 | 0:18:08 | |
..triangular topiary? | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:10 | 0:18:11 | |
I think it's a term used in England, | 0:18:11 | 0:18:14 | |
because in Brazil we call it "Hitlers". | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
-A what? -LAUGHTER | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
It's a little... | 0:18:19 | 0:18:20 | |
-You're saying you'd have a Hitler? -A Hitler there. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
Has anybody here got a Brazilian? | 0:18:23 | 0:18:25 | |
-You have, sir? Er... -LAUGHTER | 0:18:25 | 0:18:29 | |
-HE MUTTERS -Anyway... | 0:18:29 | 0:18:32 | |
Obviously, it was Silverstone this afternoon. Well done for winning. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
Thank you! | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
-Nasty crash. -Yeah. -LAUGHTER | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
Should've covered it there. I should explain it is now Wednesday, | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
and we have no idea... | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
I'm just thinking - that will be... How many races is it | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
you will have done by this evening, now? | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
-297. -297. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
Is that a record now? Have you set the record for the most Grands Prix? | 0:18:52 | 0:18:56 | |
Yeah. When I raced for the first time, | 0:18:56 | 0:18:58 | |
I never thought I would race for such a long period, | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
but I'm enjoying more than I used to. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
-Cos you must now be, what, 78? -Yeah! | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
Anyway, you're now driving for one of the great teams, Williams. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:10 | |
Well, I tell you, it's... | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
Since a very young kid, when I was driving go-karts, | 0:19:12 | 0:19:16 | |
I have interviews when people ask me, | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
"Which team would you like to drive?", and it was for Williams. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
-Why was that? -I don't know. I just had a great passion for Frank Williams, | 0:19:21 | 0:19:25 | |
and you can see it nowadays - | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
he is so passionate about everything, | 0:19:27 | 0:19:30 | |
and I'm trying to lead the team to a different area. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
They are changing, and I think the future is quite bright. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
So, um, Ferrari - just to go there, obviously. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
You had that period where you were there with His Schumacherness. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:44 | |
You must have known when you got there | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
that you were going to be, effectively, the whipping boy. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:49 | |
-I did not. -Really? You didn't... | 0:19:49 | 0:19:51 | |
That's the funny bit, because people say, | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
"Shut up, Rubens. You knew you were going to play second in the team." | 0:19:54 | 0:19:59 | |
And when I signed, I made sure to ask, | 0:19:59 | 0:20:02 | |
"Is it everything to him or am I going to have a chance?" | 0:20:02 | 0:20:05 | |
And in my contract it was zero. There was no mentioning | 0:20:05 | 0:20:09 | |
of becoming a second driver there. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:11 | |
So you were very surprised... It was Austria, where you were winning, he was behind you, | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 | |
and then the call came through... "Would you mind awfully getting out of his way?" | 0:20:15 | 0:20:20 | |
-Was that a big surprise? -It was almost like that. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
People ask me, "Why did he do on the last corner?" | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
Because in my mind, I was never going to do it. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
It was eight laps. You know, it was almost like the lawyer was sitting here | 0:20:28 | 0:20:33 | |
-and people, you know, there was a discussion going on. -Back at the pit? | 0:20:33 | 0:20:38 | |
-Yeah. And I could only say, "No, I'm not going to do it." -Did you actually say that? | 0:20:38 | 0:20:42 | |
I said, "I'm not going to do it," until the very final bit | 0:20:42 | 0:20:46 | |
when they were a bit more focused on saying something that I... | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
Did they say, "We've got one of your pets here. NOW will you move over | 0:20:49 | 0:20:53 | |
-"and let him go by?" -It was almost like that, yeah. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
Anyway, of course, you came down here | 0:20:56 | 0:20:59 | |
-because we have our Formula 1 board here, yes? -Yes. | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
And you wanted to see where you'd come in our old reasonably-priced car, | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
the old Liana, which has been gathering dust somewhere. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:08 | |
-Was it fun? -It was fun. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
-Really? -Yeah, it was. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
Cos you think, you know, I drive this car | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
with so much power and everything, but it's a different challenge. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:19 | |
I mean, when you step on the brakes, that back end, you know... | 0:21:19 | 0:21:23 | |
-So smoothness is what... -Keep it quite smooth. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
-Well, I think the time has come. -I hope it was a good one. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
Well, shall we find out? Who wants to see the lap? | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
-AUDIENCE: Yes! -OK, let's play the tape. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:35 | |
It's nice to see the old girl back. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
-Now, concentrate. -Remember that I drive normally on that side. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
Well, that's your fault for driving on the wrong side of the road. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:49 | |
That's the Stig's line through there. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
All the other F1 drivers come way further out. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
Well, he talked me into that. I thought it was... | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
You see? "Come on, horse." | 0:21:58 | 0:22:01 | |
It's not a horse, but there we are. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:03 | |
What can I say? I'm not going to say, "Oh, that's not very good," am I? | 0:22:03 | 0:22:07 | |
-Very good down to the Hammerhead. -This is a difficult part. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:12 | |
It is. It normally makes the car understeer there, but you've got it. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
How come you can do that and all our guests just can't? | 0:22:15 | 0:22:18 | |
-RUBENS CHUCKLES -I suppose that's cos they're mostly actors or comedians. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:22 | |
Wave to the camera? | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
HE GROANS | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
The gear! The gear just went "grr". | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
Well, it must be strange for you to actually have to change... | 0:22:29 | 0:22:32 | |
When was the last time you changed gear? | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
You know what, I started Formula 1 and it was already the automatic. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
Yeah. And I bet your road car has... What's your road car? | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
My road... I have a... | 0:22:40 | 0:22:43 | |
An M5. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:45 | |
Flappy pedal. So you haven't changed gear for... | 0:22:45 | 0:22:47 | |
Ooh! Look at that. Lovely through the second to last. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
-And here we are now. -What's the time? Give me the time! | 0:22:50 | 0:22:55 | |
-APPLAUSE -There we are - crossed the line. | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
So we've got the Stig at 1:44.4. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
Mansell 1:44.6, | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
and then Lewis did that with a wet lap at 1:44.7, | 0:23:08 | 0:23:13 | |
-which was fairly remarkable. -Impressive. -Then Mark. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
He flew around, actually. Just decided not to bother. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
So where do you reckon? | 0:23:19 | 0:23:21 | |
I don't know. My heart is beating more than | 0:23:21 | 0:23:24 | |
at the start of the Silverstone GP, I tell you. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:27 | |
This is obviously a more popular show. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
-I have the time here. -OK. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
Rubens Barichello... | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
You did it in... | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
One minute... | 0:23:40 | 0:23:41 | |
Well, that's really... | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
-..forty... -I'm on the page, then. -You're on the page! | 0:23:44 | 0:23:49 | |
-..four... -AUDIENCE: Ooh! | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
-..point... -Point? | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
-..three! -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
-44.3! -Wow! | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
The fastest man ever to go round our track! | 0:24:01 | 0:24:05 | |
Fantastic! | 0:24:06 | 0:24:08 | |
Unbelievable. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
-Wow! -That is fantastic. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:11 | |
I am so proud. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:14 | |
It's fantastic and it's also staggering | 0:24:14 | 0:24:17 | |
that you should have beaten him. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:20 | |
We need to get you out of this building in some careful way now. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:24 | |
-Yeah. -I can't imagine he's going to be very pleased about this. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:28 | |
Especially cos if we get into a fight, he never takes his helmet off! | 0:24:28 | 0:24:32 | |
There you go. You've finally won something today. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
You'll take a piece of that. It was good 11 wins. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:42 | |
There we are. That is a truly staggering thing. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
I will ask for more money from Frank now. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:48 | |
You can now say, "I am the fastest Formula 1 driver in the world, | 0:24:48 | 0:24:52 | |
"and more than that, I'm faster than the Stig." | 0:24:52 | 0:24:55 | |
-Fantastic. -Ladies and gentlemen, Rubens Barrichello. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
Now... | 0:25:10 | 0:25:12 | |
There are a couple of new muscle cars out | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
that we thought were worth a look at. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
And clearly the right man for the job is someone who has owned | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
a Dodge Charger and a Ford Mustang and a banjo. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:26 | |
Yep, it's our resident redneck, the Duke of Hammond. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:30 | |
This is the first of today's offerings. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
A muscle car icon, reborn. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
The Chevrolet Camaro. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
Jeremy has a theory about the Camaro. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
He believes that all Camaros are driven by murderers, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
and you should never accept a lift in one cos your head'll end up swinging | 0:25:52 | 0:25:56 | |
in the rear-view mirror as an air freshener. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
The thing is, there's a bit more to this Camaro than that. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:03 | |
Now if you're under 12, then to you, this car is Bumblebee from the Transformers movies. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:10 | |
In a minute, it's going to stand up and throw an oil tanker at my face. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
But back in the '60s, its grandfather was fighting the Cold War. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:18 | |
Not the big scary one with the Russians, but the Detroit Cold War. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:24 | |
In 1964, Ford had launched the most famous muscle car of all, the Mustang. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:30 | |
And two years later, GM struck back. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:34 | |
Camaro! Fiery new creation from Chevrolet! | 0:26:36 | 0:26:40 | |
It was one hell of a battle. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
And the Camaro... | 0:26:45 | 0:26:46 | |
Well, it lost, actually. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
Quite badly. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:50 | |
In its first full year, Ford sold over half a million Mustangs. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:55 | |
In its first full year with the Camaro, | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
GM didn't manage even half of that. | 0:26:57 | 0:27:00 | |
The other muscle cars - Mustangs, Chargers - they went on to starring roles in Bullitt. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:06 | |
The Camaro did once have quite a nice role in an episode of Lovejoy. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:11 | |
But this new boy is coming back fighting. | 0:27:14 | 0:27:18 | |
This is the SS version - the most powerful - with a 6.2 litre V8. | 0:27:18 | 0:27:24 | |
And at £40,000, it is a lot of car for the money. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:29 | |
It also looks good | 0:27:33 | 0:27:34 | |
and unlike other muscle cars, | 0:27:34 | 0:27:37 | |
the suspension isn't made from lampposts and logs. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:40 | |
Because underneath the Camaro | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
is the chassis from one our very favouritest saloon cars, the Vauxhall VXR8. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:52 | |
It's made by the Australians. | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
Which means there's a lot of multi-link cleverness going on. | 0:27:58 | 0:28:01 | |
So basically, the Americans had to go to the Australians for a bit of sophistication. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:10 | |
That feels more like it! | 0:28:13 | 0:28:15 | |
A good effort all round and on any other day, | 0:28:15 | 0:28:17 | |
the Camaro could claim to be the muscle car of the moment. | 0:28:17 | 0:28:21 | |
However, it must now face this - | 0:28:24 | 0:28:28 | |
a muscle car, not from America... | 0:28:28 | 0:28:32 | |
..the very German Mercedes E63 AMG. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:38 | |
Listen to that! | 0:28:42 | 0:28:43 | |
ENGINE ROARS | 0:28:43 | 0:28:45 | |
It's the AMG dawn chorus. | 0:28:45 | 0:28:47 | |
It might look like a businessman's express, | 0:28:48 | 0:28:52 | |
but when it comes to noise, the Benz it blows the Camaro out of the water. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:58 | |
This thing sounds like Lynyrd Skynyrd at a bullfight. | 0:28:58 | 0:29:02 | |
And when you take it beyond 5,000rpm... | 0:29:05 | 0:29:08 | |
Ah-ha! | 0:29:12 | 0:29:14 | |
Although the Mercedes, like the Camaro, has a 6.2 litre V8, | 0:29:14 | 0:29:19 | |
it's faster and more powerful. | 0:29:19 | 0:29:22 | |
0-60, 4.5 seconds. | 0:29:29 | 0:29:32 | |
Top speed, normally limited to 155mph. | 0:29:34 | 0:29:36 | |
Or for £2,230, you can have the limit raised to 186... | 0:29:36 | 0:29:43 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:29:43 | 0:29:45 | |
..almost 40 more than the Camaro will do. | 0:29:45 | 0:29:49 | |
There are, however, a couple of chinks in the AMG's armour. | 0:29:58 | 0:30:03 | |
Where the Camaro costs £40,000, this is 72,000. | 0:30:03 | 0:30:09 | |
A muscle car should also be a car for simpletons, like me, | 0:30:11 | 0:30:16 | |
but there are more gizmos in here than Bill Gates's kitchen. | 0:30:16 | 0:30:19 | |
The gearbox, for example, can be operated from here or down here, | 0:30:19 | 0:30:23 | |
and then this dial splits it into four different modes - | 0:30:23 | 0:30:25 | |
comfort, sport, sport plus and so on. | 0:30:25 | 0:30:28 | |
This button adjusts the traction control, lots of settings there. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:32 | |
This button is for the ride, lots of different settings. | 0:30:32 | 0:30:35 | |
And that's a lot to think about if you're the kind of person who goes to work in a vest. | 0:30:35 | 0:30:41 | |
Thankfully, help is at hand. | 0:30:43 | 0:30:47 | |
It's this the fourth button here, the AMG button. | 0:30:47 | 0:30:50 | |
Essentially, it takes all the other settings from all the other buttons and puts them in a thing, | 0:30:50 | 0:30:55 | |
and then when you hit this button, it sets the car up exactly as you want it. | 0:30:55 | 0:31:00 | |
I like mine like this. | 0:31:01 | 0:31:04 | |
With the button in what I call redneck setting, | 0:31:12 | 0:31:16 | |
the AMG can outslide, outturn and outrun any muscle car on the planet. | 0:31:16 | 0:31:21 | |
I'm in a massive German executive saloon. | 0:31:23 | 0:31:26 | |
Going sideways! | 0:31:28 | 0:31:29 | |
The Mercedes may be almost twice the price of the Camaro... | 0:31:41 | 0:31:46 | |
..but, the fact is, it's twice the car. | 0:31:51 | 0:31:55 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:32:03 | 0:32:06 | |
The thing is... | 0:32:09 | 0:32:11 | |
The thing is I just... | 0:32:11 | 0:32:13 | |
I just love muscle cars as a breed, because I love the idea you take an ordinary, basic car | 0:32:13 | 0:32:18 | |
and then you keep adding more and more and more and more and more power until it's just about unusable, | 0:32:18 | 0:32:23 | |
and then you put it on sale and people buy it. | 0:32:23 | 0:32:27 | |
-And you'd have the Mercedes? -Nope. | 0:32:27 | 0:32:30 | |
I know I said the Merc is twice the car. | 0:32:30 | 0:32:32 | |
-I'd have the Camaro, it's just got much more soul. -It's a stupid car! | 0:32:32 | 0:32:35 | |
It's a brilliant car... | 0:32:35 | 0:32:36 | |
OK, things you'll never hear as somebody gets in. | 0:32:36 | 0:32:39 | |
"I'd just like to thank the Nobel Academy and now I'm going home." | 0:32:39 | 0:32:43 | |
Or how about this one? "No, really, let me, Your Majesty." | 0:32:43 | 0:32:48 | |
There's nobody intelligent... | 0:32:48 | 0:32:50 | |
"Bishop Tutu, can I have a go? Thank you, I will." | 0:32:50 | 0:32:54 | |
-It is a car for a type of person, I love it! -It's a stupid, childish... | 0:32:54 | 0:32:59 | |
I'll tell you what, though, no, one interesting thing. | 0:32:59 | 0:33:02 | |
When this thing goes on sale next year in Britain, it will make the job of the police much easier. | 0:33:02 | 0:33:07 | |
Let's pull these over and go, "Open the boot...whose head's this?" | 0:33:07 | 0:33:10 | |
But nevertheless, we must find out how fast these cars go round our track, | 0:33:12 | 0:33:16 | |
and that of course means handing them over to our tame racing driver. | 0:33:16 | 0:33:20 | |
Some say that if you hold him in the wrong way, | 0:33:20 | 0:33:25 | |
he doesn't work properly. | 0:33:25 | 0:33:26 | |
And that, just very recently, he developed an irrational hatred of Rubens Barrichello. | 0:33:29 | 0:33:35 | |
All we know is he's called the Stig. | 0:33:38 | 0:33:40 | |
And they're off, | 0:33:42 | 0:33:43 | |
and what a racket, the E63 drowning out the Chevy. | 0:33:43 | 0:33:47 | |
You can, of course, get the fantastic AMG V8 in many Mercs, | 0:33:47 | 0:33:51 | |
and, personally, I wouldn't have it in this one. | 0:33:51 | 0:33:54 | |
It's just too ugly - and, in this, case slightly brown. | 0:33:54 | 0:33:57 | |
Round the first corner... | 0:33:57 | 0:33:59 | |
There we are, vuvuzelas on all three channels now. | 0:33:59 | 0:34:02 | |
Stig hopefully will get bored in the next week. | 0:34:02 | 0:34:05 | |
The Camaro does have a certain distinctive presence, | 0:34:05 | 0:34:07 | |
which is peace of mind for the murder squad. | 0:34:07 | 0:34:11 | |
Up to the Hammerhead, both getting a little bit sideways, | 0:34:11 | 0:34:15 | |
but only the Camaro fills the Stig | 0:34:15 | 0:34:17 | |
with a sudden urge to murder his postman. | 0:34:17 | 0:34:20 | |
Actually, he did that in 2004. | 0:34:20 | 0:34:22 | |
Follow-through and now, both... Yep, going through there nicely. | 0:34:25 | 0:34:31 | |
And yep, kicking up dust through the tyres. | 0:34:31 | 0:34:34 | |
Two corners remain, let's have a look. | 0:34:34 | 0:34:38 | |
Oh, the Camaro getting it very crossed up. | 0:34:38 | 0:34:40 | |
The Merc is running away now, just Gambon left, | 0:34:40 | 0:34:42 | |
and they are now through that and across the line. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:46 | |
Right, now...I've got the times. | 0:34:46 | 0:34:48 | |
Yes. | 0:34:48 | 0:34:51 | |
These are the times. | 0:34:51 | 0:34:53 | |
So the Mercedes did it in 1:24.9, which puts it there. | 0:34:53 | 0:35:00 | |
That's unbelievable, that's the same as that Supersports Bentley. | 0:35:00 | 0:35:03 | |
It is, yes, and the Camaro did it in... | 0:35:03 | 0:35:05 | |
1:27.9, which is just...keep going down, it's down there. | 0:35:05 | 0:35:12 | |
So it's even slower than the pick-up truck of the car on which it's based? | 0:35:12 | 0:35:16 | |
Yeah, yeah, it is that, yeah, but I'd still have this. | 0:35:16 | 0:35:18 | |
It was probably weighed down by all the body parts in the boot. | 0:35:18 | 0:35:22 | |
Anyway, it's now time to put another star in our reasonably priced car, | 0:35:22 | 0:35:26 | |
though of course this time the brand-new one. | 0:35:26 | 0:35:28 | |
Now, my guest tonight played a character in Harry Potter | 0:35:28 | 0:35:31 | |
who, in olden times, would have been burned at the stake. | 0:35:31 | 0:35:34 | |
Not for being a wizard but because he's ginger. | 0:35:34 | 0:35:37 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, Rupert Grint! | 0:35:37 | 0:35:39 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:35:39 | 0:35:41 | |
-How are you? -Yeah, good. Really good. | 0:35:42 | 0:35:44 | |
Rupert! | 0:35:44 | 0:35:46 | |
Have a seat! Brilliant! | 0:35:48 | 0:35:51 | |
Now, first of all, forgive me, why do gingers get so much stick? | 0:35:56 | 0:36:01 | |
Says a man with pubic hair! | 0:36:02 | 0:36:05 | |
Saying that, I didn't get much abuse at school. | 0:36:05 | 0:36:07 | |
People used to call me Luke, actually...for Lucozade. | 0:36:07 | 0:36:11 | |
-Oh, Lucozade. -Quite a clever nickname. | 0:36:11 | 0:36:13 | |
Is there anyone here who thinks they might be ginger? What about you? | 0:36:13 | 0:36:17 | |
-I'm not natural! -What, you dyed it ginger?! | 0:36:17 | 0:36:19 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:36:19 | 0:36:22 | |
-That's nice to hear, yeah! -That is the future right there. | 0:36:22 | 0:36:25 | |
Obviously, we have to talk about Harry Potter, and you're probably fed up to the back teeth with it. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:30 | |
Well, I don't know, it has been my whole life, basically, it's been 11 years. | 0:36:30 | 0:36:35 | |
I've had children who've been growing up in that time, | 0:36:35 | 0:36:38 | |
so I've spent a lot of my time reading them Harry Potter bedtime stories. | 0:36:38 | 0:36:42 | |
What on earth is it about? I mean, really... | 0:36:42 | 0:36:47 | |
Basically, we win in the end so... | 0:36:47 | 0:36:49 | |
-Michael Gambon came here. -Yeah. -A bit older than you, | 0:36:49 | 0:36:52 | |
and I did ask him, "Do you understand it?" | 0:36:52 | 0:36:55 | |
And of course he was Dumbledore, and he said, "Well, sort of." | 0:36:55 | 0:36:58 | |
But does he give the impression of knowing what he's doing on the set or...? | 0:36:58 | 0:37:02 | |
The performance is ama... He does get a bit confused sometimes, I think. | 0:37:02 | 0:37:07 | |
One question I had from my children, if you don't mind my asking, is do you fancy Emily Watson in real life? | 0:37:07 | 0:37:13 | |
-Well... -No, don't do that face. That man just did that, "Mmm..." | 0:37:14 | 0:37:19 | |
But do you actually fancy her in real life? | 0:37:19 | 0:37:21 | |
Well, it's weird, because I actually had to kiss her in this last one, | 0:37:21 | 0:37:25 | |
because our characters kind of get together. | 0:37:25 | 0:37:28 | |
Yeah, yeah. | 0:37:28 | 0:37:29 | |
And it's like a brother-sister kind of relationship we've got. | 0:37:31 | 0:37:34 | |
-So you weren't nursing a semi. -Oh, my God! | 0:37:34 | 0:37:39 | |
I wasn't, I wasn't, no. | 0:37:45 | 0:37:49 | |
So what does the future hold, now that the big ten years of Potter is over? | 0:37:49 | 0:37:53 | |
I don't know, it's weird to come out of something that you've been a part of for... | 0:37:53 | 0:37:57 | |
most of your life. | 0:37:57 | 0:37:59 | |
But I've done other films, kind of in between, | 0:37:59 | 0:38:01 | |
and hopefully I can kind of continue doing that. | 0:38:01 | 0:38:04 | |
One of the things that I was thinking... I've been reading up on you, before you came on, | 0:38:04 | 0:38:08 | |
-is that you could work with cars, because they do seem to be a strong love for you. -Yeah. | 0:38:08 | 0:38:14 | |
Because what you actually own is... | 0:38:14 | 0:38:17 | |
let's think, a Range Rooney, an ice-cream van and a hovercraft. | 0:38:17 | 0:38:22 | |
Yeah. | 0:38:22 | 0:38:24 | |
Let's start with the Range Rover, shall we? The Wayne Rover. | 0:38:24 | 0:38:27 | |
-Yeah. -What colour's that? | 0:38:27 | 0:38:29 | |
It's...orange, it's bright orange. | 0:38:29 | 0:38:31 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:38:31 | 0:38:33 | |
Yeah. It's ginger, it's basically a ginger car. | 0:38:33 | 0:38:37 | |
So that works well or...? | 0:38:37 | 0:38:40 | |
I didn't make that connection when I was picking the colour. | 0:38:40 | 0:38:43 | |
I just thought it looked really cool. It's got black wheels, and it does look really cool. | 0:38:43 | 0:38:47 | |
An orange Range Rover in black wheels? | 0:38:47 | 0:38:49 | |
-Yeah! -Oh, dear, we're fighting a lost cause here with you. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:51 | |
-And then obviously I have to ask, the hovercraft. -Yeah. -I am a huge fan of hovercrafts, | 0:38:51 | 0:38:58 | |
-because they are the most fun you can have with an engine, I'm convinced. -Yeah, definitely. | 0:38:58 | 0:39:03 | |
I was told the first time I ever went on one - and you must have experienced this - | 0:39:03 | 0:39:07 | |
-if you actually see an obstacle, if you can see it, you will hit it. -Yeah. | 0:39:07 | 0:39:12 | |
At some point between seeing it, and then it could be an hour or so, it doesn't matter what you do... | 0:39:12 | 0:39:18 | |
They're amazing, you've got no control at all. | 0:39:18 | 0:39:20 | |
-Have you ever actually hit anything? -Oh, yeah! I've hit a few things. | 0:39:20 | 0:39:24 | |
And so are you a good driver? | 0:39:24 | 0:39:27 | |
Well, I like to think so. I used to do a bit of karting when I was younger. | 0:39:27 | 0:39:30 | |
Did you now? So, competitive karting? | 0:39:30 | 0:39:33 | |
Well, yeah, with my brother. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:35 | |
So what did you think of our new reasonably priced car? | 0:39:35 | 0:39:38 | |
I quite liked it. It was better than I thought. | 0:39:38 | 0:39:41 | |
Yeah, because interestingly, and I'm actually not joking, | 0:39:41 | 0:39:46 | |
we've had this from Kia, the makers of a reasonably priced car, to say that they're recalling the Cee'd. | 0:39:46 | 0:39:53 | |
No way! | 0:39:53 | 0:39:56 | |
They've identified that Cee'd models could suffer from insufficient brake force from the master cylinder. | 0:39:56 | 0:40:03 | |
-So what they're actually saying there in long words is the brakes don't work. -No way! | 0:40:03 | 0:40:08 | |
Did nobody tell you that? | 0:40:08 | 0:40:10 | |
No, I didn't realise... | 0:40:10 | 0:40:11 | |
Nobody from our production team told that that car's been recalled? | 0:40:11 | 0:40:15 | |
No, I didn't realise that. It felt all right. | 0:40:15 | 0:40:17 | |
No, apparently only 468 models have been affected, and we don't know that it's ours yet, it's possible. | 0:40:17 | 0:40:23 | |
-Anyway, you didn't die! -I didn't die. | 0:40:23 | 0:40:25 | |
-No, you made it, and who here would like to see Rupert's lap? -Yes! | 0:40:25 | 0:40:31 | |
Let's have a look. | 0:40:31 | 0:40:34 | |
There we go. Look at it! | 0:40:34 | 0:40:36 | |
A symphony in brown. | 0:40:36 | 0:40:38 | |
Come on, mmm! | 0:40:38 | 0:40:41 | |
Looking determined. | 0:40:41 | 0:40:44 | |
Not lost there, no, well done, you remembered to go left, that's important. | 0:40:44 | 0:40:50 | |
-That's looking very neat and tidy. -Yeah? | 0:40:50 | 0:40:52 | |
Well, neat and tidy is the key, really. | 0:40:52 | 0:40:54 | |
Come on. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:56 | |
No, it won't go any faster, that really is as fast as it goes. | 0:40:56 | 0:41:00 | |
You see, this is the important thing - if you look slow, | 0:41:00 | 0:41:03 | |
chances are you're going not as slowly as you think. Oh, no, a bit of a wobble into the Hammerhead. | 0:41:03 | 0:41:09 | |
Do you stay in the lines? | 0:41:09 | 0:41:10 | |
Yes, even more in the lines. It does understeer, this, did you notice? | 0:41:10 | 0:41:13 | |
-It does, yeah, yeah, I was really shocked by that. -Oh, you see, you know... | 0:41:13 | 0:41:17 | |
-Fourth... -Are you a man that prefers oversteer? | 0:41:17 | 0:41:22 | |
I don't really understand oversteer. | 0:41:22 | 0:41:25 | |
Well, this car, when you turn the steering wheel, it sort of pushes on. | 0:41:25 | 0:41:28 | |
Yeah. | 0:41:28 | 0:41:31 | |
Brake...now! | 0:41:31 | 0:41:33 | |
Yes, that was a beautiful line through that, absolutely perfect. | 0:41:33 | 0:41:38 | |
-That's understeer! -Right. | 0:41:38 | 0:41:39 | |
-You almost turned right over, but there we are, look, across the line! -CHEERS AND APPLAUSE | 0:41:39 | 0:41:44 | |
Come on, youth, where do you think you are on that? | 0:41:50 | 0:41:54 | |
Obviously not the wet ones, but 1:45.9 is Peter Jones, the fastest man. | 0:41:54 | 0:41:59 | |
I don't think I got to the top but... | 0:41:59 | 0:42:02 | |
Well, mmm... | 0:42:02 | 0:42:03 | |
I shall just have a look on here and see if I can see where you came, hang on a minute. | 0:42:03 | 0:42:07 | |
Is this like being back at school? | 0:42:07 | 0:42:09 | |
You got a B minus! | 0:42:09 | 0:42:11 | |
So, Rupert Grint, you did it in...one minute, you'll be relieved to hear... 40... | 0:42:13 | 0:42:20 | |
5.5! | 0:42:23 | 0:42:26 | |
Oh, yes! | 0:42:26 | 0:42:28 | |
He's the fastest! He's the fastest! | 0:42:28 | 0:42:35 | |
-The second time! The second time! -Wow. | 0:42:35 | 0:42:41 | |
-It's just something in the air today. Because Rubens has gone and bust that one. -Yes, I saw! | 0:42:41 | 0:42:45 | |
-And now you've bust that one. -Oh, that's good. | 0:42:45 | 0:42:47 | |
We know that Peter Jones was quick in the old car, the tall Dragon man, | 0:42:47 | 0:42:53 | |
so we thought, "Well, that time will take some beating." | 0:42:53 | 0:42:56 | |
He has, by the way, just committed suicide. | 0:42:56 | 0:42:59 | |
He honestly left the other day saying, "Well, no-one will beat that in a hurry!" | 0:42:59 | 0:43:02 | |
And it's actually taken precisely two weeks for his time to be beaten. | 0:43:02 | 0:43:06 | |
I don't think that's going to get knocked off for a while. | 0:43:06 | 0:43:09 | |
-Wow, I'm impressed with that. -So thank you so much for coming, thank you for busting it. | 0:43:09 | 0:43:13 | |
-Ladies and gentlemen, Rupert Grint. -CHEERS AND APPLAUSE | 0:43:13 | 0:43:17 | |
Right! | 0:43:24 | 0:43:26 | |
Earlier on, we tested the new Aston Martin Rapide, which we liked, despite the price, | 0:43:26 | 0:43:32 | |
the Porsche Panamera, which we liked, despite the hideous body, | 0:43:32 | 0:43:37 | |
and the Maserati Quattroporte, which we liked, despite...pretty much everything, really. | 0:43:37 | 0:43:43 | |
Now, though, it is time to see how good these are as four-door saloons. | 0:43:43 | 0:43:48 | |
To do that, the producers said we must spend the day as chauffeurs. | 0:43:54 | 0:44:00 | |
Guys? I know all about chauffeuring. | 0:44:00 | 0:44:03 | |
-Go on. -You've got to wear a hat, | 0:44:03 | 0:44:07 | |
and you have to remember, when you open the back door for a girl to get in, not to look up her skirt. | 0:44:07 | 0:44:13 | |
Right. | 0:44:13 | 0:44:15 | |
On the way, we changed into our suits, and then | 0:44:16 | 0:44:19 | |
we arrived at a hotel to meet the people we'd be chauffeuring. | 0:44:19 | 0:44:23 | |
OK. Where's your suit trousers? | 0:44:24 | 0:44:26 | |
-I've lost them. -Lost them? | 0:44:26 | 0:44:29 | |
-Honestly, I've searched the house top to bottom. -So we'll have, what do you reckon, one person each or...? | 0:44:29 | 0:44:33 | |
I think it's probably a conference. | 0:44:33 | 0:44:35 | |
We'll go to different places and it'll be who get to his place first. | 0:44:35 | 0:44:39 | |
-Chauffeur race. -Exactly, different places, it's who gets there first. | 0:44:39 | 0:44:44 | |
-What? -It's a wedding. | 0:44:44 | 0:44:45 | |
What's a wedding? | 0:44:45 | 0:44:47 | |
It's a wedding, we're doing a wedding, we're the car service for a wedding. | 0:44:47 | 0:44:50 | |
Mate, you can't do a wedding in jeans. | 0:44:50 | 0:44:52 | |
You can't, actually, that's going too far. | 0:44:52 | 0:44:56 | |
I can mend this. | 0:44:56 | 0:44:57 | |
-A real wedding? -Yes. -What, an actual wedding? | 0:44:57 | 0:45:00 | |
Yes. We have to drive to the church, the reception. | 0:45:00 | 0:45:03 | |
We are the drivers for the day to see how big the backs of these cars are. | 0:45:03 | 0:45:07 | |
And I've got to mend my trousers. | 0:45:07 | 0:45:09 | |
-Who is there at a wedding? A bride, a groom... -Bride, groom, vicar... | 0:45:09 | 0:45:13 | |
Bride's mother, parents, they all have to go. | 0:45:13 | 0:45:16 | |
The Maserati's the biggest. | 0:45:16 | 0:45:17 | |
The bride should go in the Maserati. | 0:45:17 | 0:45:19 | |
-The bride's the most important person at a wedding. -So put the bride in the... | 0:45:19 | 0:45:24 | |
Put the bride in the Maserati. I should drive her, because I haven't driven the Maserati. | 0:45:24 | 0:45:28 | |
You're welcome, I'm not driving a bride to her wedding, no way! | 0:45:28 | 0:45:31 | |
Listen, everything we ever do is a disaster. | 0:45:31 | 0:45:34 | |
Well, including what you're doing there. | 0:45:34 | 0:45:36 | |
-They'll be black in a minute, trust me. So bride in the Maserati. -Yeah. -You drive that. -Yeah. | 0:45:36 | 0:45:42 | |
Groom is going to want to go in the Aston. | 0:45:42 | 0:45:45 | |
I'll take him in the Aston. | 0:45:45 | 0:45:47 | |
I'll do the bride's mother in the Porsche. | 0:45:47 | 0:45:49 | |
I wouldn't... Oh, I see! | 0:45:49 | 0:45:53 | |
She'll be emotional, and I'm just what she needs on her daughter's wedding day. | 0:45:53 | 0:45:57 | |
Hammond set off to get the groom, | 0:45:57 | 0:46:00 | |
leaving me in a spot of bother with my new trousers. | 0:46:00 | 0:46:04 | |
Oh, no. | 0:46:04 | 0:46:06 | |
My legs have stuck together. | 0:46:06 | 0:46:08 | |
I do apologise for this. | 0:46:11 | 0:46:13 | |
Worse still, chauffeur duties had made James even more pedantic than usual. | 0:46:13 | 0:46:18 | |
Because I want my Maserati here for the bride, I think it's more grand. | 0:46:18 | 0:46:21 | |
-Yes, you go and get your Maserati. -Can you move out of the way, then? -Yep. | 0:46:21 | 0:46:25 | |
But hang on, I can't do this until you've gone, otherwise it's in the way. | 0:46:25 | 0:46:29 | |
-What? -I can't put the Maserati there before you've gone, or they'd have to walk round it. That's not right. | 0:46:29 | 0:46:34 | |
What are you talking about? | 0:46:34 | 0:46:35 | |
-I can't put the Maserati in position until you've left with the bride's mother. -Why? | 0:46:35 | 0:46:40 | |
Otherwise she'll come out and get in the Maserati... | 0:46:40 | 0:46:42 | |
She won't, because we'll say, "Don't get in the Maserati." | 0:46:42 | 0:46:45 | |
Then she has to walk around it, and it's not right, trust me. | 0:46:45 | 0:46:48 | |
Meanwhile, I'd arrived at the groom's house. | 0:46:48 | 0:46:51 | |
This is it. | 0:46:51 | 0:46:53 | |
But having never chauffeured before, I didn't know whether to get him or wait in the car. | 0:46:53 | 0:46:58 | |
He wants to get ready, take his time. | 0:46:58 | 0:47:00 | |
I'll, erm... | 0:47:00 | 0:47:01 | |
I'll hover here. | 0:47:01 | 0:47:03 | |
You've got half an hour to get there, you've got to be... | 0:47:08 | 0:47:11 | |
-I've got to be late, yes. -Yes, but a tiny bit late, not your usual late. | 0:47:11 | 0:47:14 | |
No, no, I understand the difference. | 0:47:14 | 0:47:16 | |
Whilst James was still deciding where to put his car, the wedding party emerged. | 0:47:16 | 0:47:23 | |
I was going to back it up and do it properly. | 0:47:23 | 0:47:26 | |
-Do you want to go in and come out while I back it up? -James, will you concentrate on your job? | 0:47:26 | 0:47:30 | |
-This way, please. -Don't look up her skirt, don't look up her skirt. | 0:47:30 | 0:47:34 | |
No, no, no! I'm in! Thank you for averting your gaze. | 0:47:37 | 0:47:43 | |
-Come on. -Where is he? | 0:47:43 | 0:47:47 | |
Oh, you're already in! Sorry! | 0:47:47 | 0:47:49 | |
He's already in. | 0:47:49 | 0:47:50 | |
Good afternoon, everyone. | 0:47:51 | 0:47:52 | |
Oh, good afternoon. | 0:47:52 | 0:47:54 | |
I'm James, I shall be your driver. | 0:47:54 | 0:47:56 | |
This is the Maserati Quattroporte. Not the original model, which had a slightly ropey gearbox. | 0:47:56 | 0:48:01 | |
This is the GTS, much improved, as you shall see. | 0:48:01 | 0:48:04 | |
The key's stuck. | 0:48:04 | 0:48:06 | |
Jeremy, meanwhile, was being his usual charming self. | 0:48:08 | 0:48:12 | |
If I've got whiffy pits, I apologise, but it is from wearing slightly hot trousers. | 0:48:12 | 0:48:17 | |
-Come on, we're late, we're late! -That's the groom, that's the groom. He is the groom. | 0:48:27 | 0:48:32 | |
-You're Steve? -Yeah. -Hi, Steve. Sorry, mate, sorry. | 0:48:32 | 0:48:36 | |
And you're Sam, the best man? | 0:48:36 | 0:48:38 | |
-Hiya. -Hi, nice to see you. | 0:48:38 | 0:48:39 | |
-Are we not going right to the church? -Yeah, you... | 0:48:43 | 0:48:46 | |
As we are a bit early, and obviously you don't want to arrive early, | 0:48:46 | 0:48:49 | |
I thought we'd take a slightly longer route, slightly scenic, | 0:48:49 | 0:48:52 | |
so that you can arrive at an appropriate time and also enjoy the car a little bit on the journey. | 0:48:52 | 0:48:57 | |
Unfortunately, the bride's father had never seen Top Gear. | 0:48:57 | 0:49:01 | |
That sounds really good, yeah. | 0:49:01 | 0:49:04 | |
Still, at least James was driving sensibly. | 0:49:04 | 0:49:09 | |
Sport, sport plus. | 0:49:09 | 0:49:11 | |
I WILL get you to the church on time. | 0:49:13 | 0:49:15 | |
As it turned out, my passengers loved fast driving. | 0:49:15 | 0:49:20 | |
Wow! | 0:49:20 | 0:49:21 | |
So a marriage, whoo! | 0:49:23 | 0:49:26 | |
-It's a big 'un. -It's the big day. | 0:49:26 | 0:49:28 | |
Think what you're taking on, man. | 0:49:28 | 0:49:30 | |
-Life changes today. -Today. | 0:49:30 | 0:49:32 | |
-Yeah. -For real. | 0:49:32 | 0:49:34 | |
It's amazing, isn't it, marriage? | 0:49:34 | 0:49:35 | |
You have the big day, the big celebration, it's all exciting, | 0:49:35 | 0:49:39 | |
and then one day it just settles down into the norm, | 0:49:39 | 0:49:43 | |
day to day, | 0:49:43 | 0:49:46 | |
just every day...after day...after day... | 0:49:46 | 0:49:51 | |
You'll never get it to sound like this. It's to do with the crank angle and cylinders. | 0:49:54 | 0:49:58 | |
I never thought I'd be learning about crank angles on the way to my wedding. | 0:49:58 | 0:50:03 | |
Sorry, I think I've taken the wrong exit off that roundabout. Hang on a minute. | 0:50:03 | 0:50:07 | |
I guess we're going to check out the road holding or... | 0:50:07 | 0:50:10 | |
No, no, this isn't a test, I'm just... Because I've done this loop, I'm not absolutely sure... | 0:50:10 | 0:50:15 | |
It must be the next one. | 0:50:15 | 0:50:18 | |
-You're not getting nervous now, are you? -I am now. | 0:50:21 | 0:50:24 | |
I was feeling pretty relaxed but... | 0:50:24 | 0:50:25 | |
I'll help you with some music. | 0:50:25 | 0:50:28 | |
There you go... Oh, look, it's not as easy as I'd hoped. | 0:50:28 | 0:50:31 | |
We really have to get a move on. | 0:50:34 | 0:50:37 | |
Yeah, but I just want to find out, can I drive the iPod from the stereo? | 0:50:37 | 0:50:41 | |
Oh, this is the most complicated thing I've ever tried to do. Oh, no, that's just impossible. | 0:50:41 | 0:50:46 | |
Hang on, I think I've got it. | 0:50:46 | 0:50:48 | |
# I'm not in love | 0:50:49 | 0:50:52 | |
# So don't forget it | 0:50:52 | 0:50:55 | |
# It's just a silly phase... # | 0:50:55 | 0:50:58 | |
Here we go! Power! | 0:50:58 | 0:51:01 | |
In the back, Jenson and Lewis wanted even more from the Porsche. | 0:51:03 | 0:51:06 | |
-Can't we go somewhere we can go really fast? -Yeah. | 0:51:06 | 0:51:09 | |
-I have to say... -Up to the airfield? -Oh, is there an airfield near here? | 0:51:09 | 0:51:13 | |
Yeah! Pull in there, do a circuit, and then we don't mind being late. | 0:51:13 | 0:51:17 | |
Is she a calm bride? | 0:51:17 | 0:51:19 | |
She's been SO calm. | 0:51:19 | 0:51:21 | |
Because James May can drive somebody to the edge of reason after three minutes. | 0:51:21 | 0:51:27 | |
I'll turn round in the garden centre. Sorry about that. | 0:51:28 | 0:51:32 | |
As the clock struck one, I pulled up at the church. | 0:51:38 | 0:51:41 | |
-I almost lost my dress then! -We made it, we made it, we made it. | 0:51:41 | 0:51:46 | |
The bride's mother and chief bridesmaid seemed very happy with my chauffeuring skills. | 0:51:50 | 0:51:54 | |
However, in Claire Rayner's car... | 0:51:54 | 0:51:57 | |
# Whoo-hoo, no, baby, please don't go... # | 0:51:57 | 0:52:00 | |
I mean it's like your life, it's for life! | 0:52:00 | 0:52:04 | |
It is for life. | 0:52:04 | 0:52:06 | |
Just stretching out in front of you. | 0:52:06 | 0:52:10 | |
Forever. | 0:52:10 | 0:52:12 | |
Just going on...and on. | 0:52:12 | 0:52:14 | |
Amazingly, though, when Captain Cheerful eventually arrived, | 0:52:18 | 0:52:22 | |
the groom was more bothered about my trousers. | 0:52:22 | 0:52:25 | |
-What are you wearing?! -I'm fine, nothing to see here. | 0:52:25 | 0:52:29 | |
More worryingly, there was nothing to see in terms of the bride either. | 0:52:29 | 0:52:34 | |
The relations are starting to get angsty. | 0:52:34 | 0:52:38 | |
I can just feel eyes burrowing into the back of my head. | 0:52:38 | 0:52:43 | |
I did look at the map before I started off. | 0:52:49 | 0:52:51 | |
Right, nearly there. | 0:52:58 | 0:53:00 | |
-What hymns have you chosen? -The King Of Love My Shepherd Is. | 0:53:06 | 0:53:11 | |
Very good. | 0:53:11 | 0:53:14 | |
JAMES SINGS THE TUNE | 0:53:14 | 0:53:17 | |
CHURCH BELLS RING | 0:53:18 | 0:53:20 | |
Half one, half an hour late now for the wedding. | 0:53:22 | 0:53:25 | |
-Look, there it is. -Hmm? | 0:53:27 | 0:53:29 | |
The church was that way. | 0:53:29 | 0:53:31 | |
-Are you sure it was that way? -Yes. -Yeah. | 0:53:31 | 0:53:35 | |
Completely, 100% sure. | 0:53:35 | 0:53:37 | |
We're now into something to two o'clock. We're now nearer two o'clock... | 0:53:39 | 0:53:42 | |
We're nearer the next hour than the one when they were supposed to be getting married. | 0:53:42 | 0:53:46 | |
This would have been your last car journey before you became a married woman, I hope it was a good one. | 0:53:46 | 0:53:53 | |
That man, he is the most colossal... | 0:54:00 | 0:54:04 | |
-Where have you been? -We took a slightly scenic route. | 0:54:04 | 0:54:07 | |
The wedding party hurried into the church. | 0:54:07 | 0:54:10 | |
-Explain yourself. -What? -How come you've arrived 35 minutes late? -It's fashionable for the bride... | 0:54:10 | 0:54:17 | |
Yeah, you've obviously made an impression, because they're all leaving. | 0:54:17 | 0:54:21 | |
They're really happy to have had you driving, look at their cheery faces as they walk off dabbing their eyes. | 0:54:21 | 0:54:26 | |
Did they like the Maserati? | 0:54:26 | 0:54:28 | |
-Loved it! -Did they? -Yeah, absolutely. -Did you love it? | 0:54:28 | 0:54:31 | |
-I love it, top five cars. -What do we do now? | 0:54:31 | 0:54:34 | |
-Now we wait for them. -That's boring. | 0:54:34 | 0:54:36 | |
Actually, no, I tell you what. The bride's mother told me on the way over there's an airfield near here. | 0:54:36 | 0:54:41 | |
-So? -Well, is this a Catholic wedding or...? | 0:54:41 | 0:54:45 | |
They'll be doing Dear Lord and Father of... | 0:54:45 | 0:54:48 | |
-Drag race. -Bagsie go in this. | 0:54:48 | 0:54:50 | |
-Drag race. -Drag race. | 0:54:50 | 0:54:53 | |
So as the congregation began its first hymn... | 0:54:54 | 0:54:58 | |
ENGINES ROAR | 0:54:58 | 0:55:00 | |
..we headed off to the airfield and set up our drag race. | 0:55:00 | 0:55:07 | |
I'm sure most wedding car drivers do this. | 0:55:08 | 0:55:11 | |
I wonder if they've done the exhortations yet. | 0:55:12 | 0:55:15 | |
Go! | 0:55:18 | 0:55:20 | |
Yes! | 0:55:25 | 0:55:26 | |
Look at this go! | 0:55:28 | 0:55:31 | |
80, level-pegging with the Ast... Oh, no, I'm not. | 0:55:31 | 0:55:35 | |
Maserati sitting in my door mirror here like an oil painting. | 0:55:36 | 0:55:40 | |
Come on, come on! | 0:55:40 | 0:55:42 | |
Even with James at the wheel, that Porsche easily won. | 0:55:46 | 0:55:52 | |
Since the race was over so quickly, I decided there was time for another game. | 0:55:52 | 0:55:57 | |
I bet I can do a longer powerslide in that than you two can in these. | 0:55:57 | 0:56:03 | |
Good game? | 0:56:03 | 0:56:04 | |
Come on, it's a beautiful day, we've got crash helmets on. | 0:56:04 | 0:56:07 | |
The back's coming out nicely, and now bin it there! | 0:56:14 | 0:56:17 | |
Too much grip. | 0:56:20 | 0:56:22 | |
Our new game was excellent fun! | 0:56:22 | 0:56:25 | |
BELLS RING | 0:56:25 | 0:56:27 | |
TYRES SQUEAL | 0:56:29 | 0:56:32 | |
That's a good one! What do you think of that, Hammond? | 0:56:32 | 0:56:34 | |
And another championship-winning entry from Hammond in the Maserati. Yeah. | 0:56:36 | 0:56:41 | |
Oh, yeah! Feeling sick but looking good! | 0:56:47 | 0:56:50 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:56:52 | 0:56:53 | |
I know... I know a lot of you will have been looking at that and thinking it was all a set-up, | 0:57:00 | 0:57:06 | |
they were actors. | 0:57:06 | 0:57:07 | |
Well, it really wasn't, they really were a couple, | 0:57:07 | 0:57:11 | |
they really did get married that day, and they really are here. | 0:57:11 | 0:57:15 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, Steve and Ellie! | 0:57:15 | 0:57:17 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:57:17 | 0:57:18 | |
-Congratulations! -Sorry! Really sorry. | 0:57:18 | 0:57:22 | |
Sorry we weren't there when you came out. | 0:57:22 | 0:57:26 | |
Sorry about my mood on the day, it was inappropriate, as it turned out. We're sorry. | 0:57:26 | 0:57:30 | |
By way of an apology and as a token of our appreciation, we've brought | 0:57:30 | 0:57:35 | |
you this memento so you can remember the day every time you have a dump. | 0:57:35 | 0:57:40 | |
LAUGHTER Congratulations! | 0:57:40 | 0:57:42 | |
Congratulations. Thank you. | 0:57:44 | 0:57:48 | |
Excellent, excellent. | 0:57:48 | 0:57:50 | |
-We clubbed together to buy that, just so you know. -Ourselves. -Your eternal happiness. | 0:57:50 | 0:57:54 | |
Anyway, it is now time for us to decide which of these cars is best. | 0:57:54 | 0:57:58 | |
Quite easy for me, the Maserati is idiotic, OK? | 0:57:58 | 0:58:02 | |
After five minutes it would drive you mad, and after five weeks it would fall to pieces. | 0:58:02 | 0:58:07 | |
-But for me, by a country mile, it's the one I'd have. -Me too. | 0:58:07 | 0:58:10 | |
Yeah, and me, by a long, long way. | 0:58:10 | 0:58:13 | |
Yeah, so there we are, we all agree on something. | 0:58:13 | 0:58:15 | |
The worst car is the best. | 0:58:15 | 0:58:17 | |
And on both those bombshell, it's now time to end. | 0:58:17 | 0:58:21 | |
Thank you for watching. Not that you were, because you were watching the football, but there we are. | 0:58:21 | 0:58:26 | |
See you next week, though. Take care, good night! | 0:58:26 | 0:58:28 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:58:28 | 0:58:30 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:58:32 | 0:58:35 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:58:35 | 0:58:38 |