Episode 1 Total Wipeout

Buenos Aires, South America. 7,000 miles from home.

20 ordinary men and women.

Including a cleaner, a beauty queen and an OAP,

who will put their courage, their strength, and their bodies to the test.

At stake, a £10,000 cash prize and the Total Wipeout title.

All to be won on one of the most breathtaking obstacle courses ever created.

Let the games begin.

Welcome to Total Wipeout. We're here to watch 20 ordinary British men and

women take on the world's hardest and most ridiculous obstacle course.

They're going to get wet, they're going to get muddy and they're going to fall over an awful lot.

This is how today's contest is going to work.

The Qualifier.

The Sweeper.

Dizzy Dummies.

And the grand final, the Wipeout Zone.

I told you, ridiculous.

So first, it's the Qualifier.

Only the fastest 12 will make it into the next round.

Let's see the obstacles that stand in the way of today's plucky contestants.

Our 20 contenders must first try and cross

the precariously-balanced Topple Towers without getting a face full of mud.

Then it's the Sucker Punch, a non-stop barrage

of 22 hard-hitting boxing gloves and more of the brown stuff.

Then it's a race across what the Argentineans call Las Bolas Grandes.

We've translated that loosely as the Big Balls.

Once they've bounced their way across those Big Balls, or possibly fallen in,

it's on to the giant rope swing,

landing on that narrow ledge at which point the clock is stopped.

You see? What could be simpler than that?

Apart from, say, watching other people do it all from the comfort of your sofa?

Let's cross over to the other member of the Wipeout team, the lovely Amanda Byram,

who's on the course with our competitors

to offer a big dose of encouragement when the going gets tough.

Which it will.

Now I'm joined by the very lovely Stacey. How are you doing?

I'm very good, thank you.

You're one of our more sporty contestants, I believe?

What do you do for a living?

I'm a PE teacher, so all-round sports.

Tell me a few of the sports that you do?

I've done kick-boxing, rowing, netball, football, rugby, hockey.

So, this is Stacey, or as the kids of 3E like to call her, Miss Fletcher.

This is for all the kids that I teach.

If you put your mind to it you can do anything!

HORN BLARES

And Stacey's off.

Off the course and in the water.

Come on, Miss Fletcher!

There we go, now she's looking like a woman on a mission.

Or maybe Bambi on ice.

To stay in the competition she needs to

get round this course as quickly as possible.

No!

Those first Topple Towers have already stopped her in her tracks.

Come on, Stacey, you can do anything if you put your mind to it!

I did warn you about that mud, didn't I?

Can she do any better on the second set?

Regroup her thoughts, prepare to fight. Here she goes.

Er, no.

Those wipeouts are costing her valuable time.

She's thinking bad things, children, but she's not saying them out loud.

That's determination.

Right there.

Just a little trot, now, around the corner to the Sucker Punch.

22 boxing gloves, they are all randomly aimed.

Nobody's timing them, they happen when they happen.

Good luck, Miss Fletcher.

Make up some time now.

As the clock ticks on, that mud continues to sap Miss Fletcher's strength.

Come on, Stacey. You can do it!

Now on BBC One, Charlie Dimmock's Extreme Gardening.

19 other competitors are waiting in the wings to beat this time.

Get a move on, come on.

Stacey, full of energy

as she approaches the Big Balls. Look at that enthusiasm.

Just like Stacey says, she tells the young children that she teaches,

you can do anything...

..if you put your mind to it!

So our first competitor, Stacey, only manages to get as far as the second big ball.

But she's not out of the competition,

just loses more precious time by having a little swim to the ladder at the end.

Come on, Miss Fletcher, this is the last chance to make your class proud.

One swing, land on the ledge, job done.

She's done it!

No, she hasn't.

As before, the clock ticks on as Stacey has to climb the stairs

to set our first qualifier time of 4:26.

It's so much harder than what you think.

In mud, it kills your legs. I tried my best, so that's all I could do.

OK, Miss Fletcher has set the time to beat, and you've seen just how tough this challenge is.

Let's go straight back to the course, where Amanda is joined by today's second competitor,

Thomas Thomson, a 27 year-old account manager from London.

When Thomas isn't doing his day job, he's a part-time model

and says he's competitive in every aspect of his life.

Don't be fooled by this pretty face, cos you is going down.

Yeah. He's at the top of the course with Amanda.

There are a lot of fit guys here today, a lot of muscly, strong, fit boys. Hunks, like yourself.

Is there anyone in particular you're afraid of?

I think I'm more scared of the tiny girls in Lycra, actually.

Cos they've got the fire in them, you can see it in their eyes.

They won't give up easily. They're more of a threat.

I'm doing this course to show people I'm not just a pretty face!

Well, he's certainly keyed up, but will the shouting help?

Down the ramp, straight into the water,

soaked through in under five seconds.

-It's cold!

-A lot of noise.

He's screaming like a little girl!

Let's see how he handles the Topple Towers.

For this he'll need precision, agility, poise.

He'll need to get his trainers cleaned afterwards!

Just look at the concentration.

It says, "Yes, I'm going to clear it.

"No, this isn't going as I planned."

Much better job on the second set of Topple Towers, though. Clears those.

Can he keep up this good time when he gets to the Sucker Punch?

Here he goes. This should be good.

This is a daunting prospect. 22 of those gloves.

He really is, he's using a rock climbers' grip

to lean out from the gloves.

He's still screaming, but he's not getting punched.

He's cleared it!

I doubt that will be bettered.

Right, psyching himself up for the Big Balls by shouting at them.

It might help, it might well help.

-It... No.

-He just face planted!

Thomas says that if he wins the show, he'll go trekking across the Himalayas.

Getting some practice here, maybe?

Crossing big things.

Just watch. He gracefully launches himself from the first ball, then the reverse pike.

He won't be happy with that entry.

I give him 3.5.

Like Stacey, the clock keeps ticking as Thomas climbs up the ladder.

Unlike Stacey, though, his time looking much faster.

And he's stopped that screaming.

Ms Fletcher couldn't do it,

can Thomas land on the ledge?

That's a no.

No, he can't.

Thomas has finally made it to the end

with a very respectable time of 2:16.

Will it be good enough to get him into the top 12?

SCREAMS

Only dogs can hear that celebration.

The Big Balls, man! How anyone can get over them...

I'll take my hat off to them, because it's really hard. But it's really good fun.

To get over those balls, you really have to use your head.

Just not like that, Thomas.

So, that was two young guns falling off obstacles and landing in mud.

But there's a lot more to Total Wipeout than that. Oh yes!

We've also got some older competitors falling off obstacles and landing in mud.

I give you the over-30s.

And what fine specimens of prime British men they are.

Me versus the course, bring it on!

This is Mark, a 37 year-old head of chemistry from Nottingham.

Here, doing an experiment to see what happens when you mix mud with pain.

Forget chemistry, Mark's now going to teach us some physics on the Big Balls.

That's how gravity works, kids.

I must be honest, I'm here to win.

Have you seen the other contestants?

Fighting talk, there, from 45-year-old council officer Elias,

who seems to be doing it in his work shoes.

For my kids, Ellen and Amy.

Your mother went through childbirth, I'm going through Total Wipeout.

Which is worse. 41-year-old house-husband Chris,

who is going to make his two daughters cringe behind the sofa.

Elias having a bit of trouble with the mud, there, but he'll be out.

I may be the oldest, but I'll show these youngsters a thing or two.

Terry is our oldest competitor at 59, a retired HGV driver.

Here to show the young ones a thing or two.

Putting on a good show for the oldies. Now the Balls.

He's a sturdy fella, but strangely graceful.

See, that was elegant.

I can't move!

Now, we go back to poor Elias.

This footage is actually from two weeks after the show finished filming.

Elias has since opted for the quiet life

and decided to set up home in his mud pool.

He likes it there.

GENTLE PIANO MUSIC

And all this just goes to show

the Total Wipeout course shows no age discrimination.

It's happy to destroy both the young and the old.

Oh, yes!

A lot of joy, there.

That's right, Elias, make yourself at home.

Call that bit to the left the kitchen,

that can be the living room.

So, with just six competitors through the qualifier,

let's take an early peak at the leaderboard.

The best time so far is screaming Lord Thomas with 2 minutes 16 seconds.

Then Miss Fletcher, and Daddy cool, Chris.

They're followed by chemistry head Mark, Terry and poor Elias,

our very own swamp thing who currently sits in last place

with an excruciating time of 15 minutes and 7 seconds.

It's all about getting into that top 12,

because only they will make it through to the next round.

Next up is 18-year-old Maria from Worcester.

Maria describes herself as energetic, adventurous

and a great fan of Chesney Hawkes.

# I am the one and only! #

When she's not singing, she's polishing her wide range of disco-dancing moves.

Nobody is going to beat me.

The big question, I suppose, is are you sporty?

Yeah, I've done sport most of my life.

I do tenpin bowling, that's my main sport.

Is that a sport?

Yeah, absolutely. It's not in the Olympics yet, but it soon will be.

Oh yeah, that along with conkers and Morris dancing.

#I am the one and only Nobody I'd rather be. #

I'm going to beat you all.

Excellent. Well, let's see.

Right. She's off.

She's in.

Where's she gone? Where is she?

Technically, that's not an obstacle,

it's just the start of the course.

I think this is going to take some time.

Time is something she doesn't have on her side,

because she's on her way now to the Topple Towers.

It's harder than it looks. Not much harder, but a bit.

She started so promisingly, too.

Maria needs to dig deep,

find a way of keeping her spirits high.

Come on, I'm the one and only.

Yes, you certainly are.

# I am the one and only

# Nobody I'd rather be. #

I'm starting to really admire Maria's pluck.

I think she can do this. You go, Maria.

-I can't see!

-What are you, Maria?

-I can do this!

-You are the what?

Come on!

Thanks. Amanda offers invaluable advice and support as ever.

She's such a comfort to have on hand.

Come on, Maria!

This is amazing!

It is.

-Amazing isn't the word I would've used there, but...

Out of the mud, come on!

Yes, she's clear of it. She's clear.

On to the Sucker Punch.

Will she make it?

OK, here we go.

No, she won't.

It's really warm. I can't see.

Over here!

Come on, you big fat balls.

Maria's got a confident look in her eye, which tells me she's maybe got a strategy.

Yeah, she has.

Let me show you, she's simply going to leap from ball to ball

by distributing her weight evenly,

taking into account Newton's laws of motion, and clear the lot.

Oh, she's fallen in.

Come on, Maria! You can do it!

Here is another one of Newton's laws, what goes up must come down.

Standing on top of the ramp isn't supposed to be an obstacle.

There, there we go. Come on, Maria.

She's tough, this girl.

Dig deep, it's for Chesney.

Let's get the rope.

Oh, yes!

Every move a little celebration.

-Here she goes.

-Just a swing, land on the ledge.

There you go, perfect.

Or not.

The one and only Maria finishes the Qualifier.

Let's hope her time is good enough to get her into the next round,

cos she worked hard enough for it, she deserves it.

Woo! Woo!

Don't know what that is.

I'm a winner!

Yes, you are.

I can't breathe!

I'm ecstatic, I'm so happy, but at the same time this mud tastes horrible.

I'm finding it quite hard to breathe.

I'm a bit dizzy.

But other than that, this is amazing. Come on!

I so want her to qualify!

Next up is insurance surveyor Rich, from Southampton.

Literally, nothing will stop me getting to the end of the course.

I'm just literally going to run at them.

Literally, I'll be staring at this course, psyching it out a bit.

That's literally Rich, we're literally catching up with him

literally halfway round the course.

So let's see how he tries to psyche out the balls.

Come on, you balls.

Yes, using psychology on them. Clever. Come on, Rich,

you can do this. Someone's got to.

He's, he's... Not done it at all.

Oh dear.

It's an elaborate fall.

It just all goes wrong after the first one.

Still, another great time.

He goes into the fastest 12.

I literally can't begin to imagine how anyone is ever going to get over those big balls.

Let's take another quick look at the leaderboard.

Still in pole position, screaming Lord Thomas,

10 seconds ahead of literally Rich. Then Miss Fletcher.

They're followed by Daddy cool, Chris,

chemistry head Mark and Terry.

Even the one and only Maria has beaten poor Elias.

Eight down, 12 more contenders to tackle the course.

All of our competitors give a battle cry at the top of the course.

Now it's HR manager Denise's turn.

I'm going to race round this course...

OK, a little nervous, there, Denise. Try again.

I'm going to race round this course at the speed of light.

Blink and you'll miss me.

Just for reference the speed of light

is 299,792,458 metres a second.

Which is quite brisk, Denise.

I think you may have overestimated your potential.

She's just vanished in there.

That didn't resemble the speed of light to me.

Thanks Amanda, for your support once again. Second time lucky.

Careful. Elias is still sleeping in there, somewhere.

I'm actually stuck.

Yeah, you've got your foot in his kitchen.

Meanwhile, over at the Sucker Punch

is 23-year-old business graduate Sam, who's doing the course properly.

Well, when I say properly, I mean at speed.

He still lives with his mum, but this...

-That's his face, but it's a fast time overall.

-Come on!

Come on, Sam!

And look, he's really chuffed.

And don't forget, £10,000 awaits today's winner.

Our next competitor says she plans to tackle the course with style, and fake nails and a perm.

It's the current Miss Bournemouth.

21-year-old make-up artist Charlene describes herself as bubbly.

GIGGLES

Chatty.

GIGGLES

And never lost for words.

I'm a girly girl and I'm going to run round like this!

I'm not 100% sure she's being sarcastic there.

So she trades on her good looks.

Let's hope the Sucker Punch doesn't rearrange them. Topple Towers first.

She's still smiling.

My hair extensions will all be out by now.

The Sucker Punch. This is it, career at stake.

One blow, it could all be over. Mind the hair! No, too late.

Not all bad, though.

That mud will detoxify, cleanse and firm her skin, and she will thank us for it.

Onto the big balls, now.

Cat-like, she's balancing. I've not seen that before.

She's going for number two, and failing, quite painfully.

She's spent more time... That's not the money-making side,

it's the front of her head that's expensive.

Tons of spirit, all she's got to do is balance on the ledge.

Let go of the rope.

There you go!

That has improved things for her.

A final time of 3:31, quite respectable.

So, a pretty good time for Miss Bournemouth.

The thing is, is it good enough to qualify in the top 12? We shall see.

Let's go straight back to the course where Amanda is with our next competitor.

You're a bit of a sporty fellow, aren't you?

Yeah, I like to play a bit of rugby. I've always been active.

-What team do you play for?

-The Glantaff Goats.

I know that the All Blacks have the haka haka haka thing that they do,

-do you have any chants like that?

-Yeah, we do.

We have a thing called the goat sign.

We sing a little song that goes...

# Choo choo choo choo choo choo Choo choo choo. #

I don't know what to say to that.

So this is 22-year-old Michael from Cardiff.

After that performance, I'll call him goat boy.

And he's off.

In and out almost straight away.

Gavin Henson eat your heart out.

Look at those hairy legs go.

He's really light on his feet. Can we see that again?

Just watch the balance here.

That bodes very well.

That's poetry in motion.

Whoa, hang on! This is somebody who's actually quite good at this!

We haven't seen this before.

A new technique.

Now the Sucker Punch. This guy is great.

Can anything stop him?

Yes, a massive punch to the face can.

He's a rugby player, he likes that sort of thing.

He's used to tackling big, hairy men in the scrum.

How will he cope with our big, red balls? One, two...

I really thought for just one moment he was going to do it.

You can see the determination. Still now, he's thinking, "I can make it."

Can someone finally land on this ledge?

No.

The Welsh nation can be proud of this lad from the Valleys.

I think we'll see more of this young lad.

Michael tops the leaderboard with two minutes dead,

knocking screaming Lord Thomas in to second

and Rich is literally in third.

The rest of the pack shuffle down.

Charlene sitting pretty in fifth, Daddy Cool in seventh.

But with more new competitors waiting in the wings, these

tail-enders are looking less likely to make it into the fastest 12.

Today's fastest 12 qualifiers can look forward to a whole heap of this.

We're just past the halfway mark in the qualifier,

so let's get a wriggle on and take a quick look at how this bunch of girls get on.

Introducing 42-year-old Paula.

Wildlife biologist Krish.

23-year-old gymnast Steph.

Social worker Andi.

And keen Highland dancer Wendy.

I'm doing this for the over-40s!

Just cos we're over 40, we're not over the hill.

I'm going to smash this course and all the competitors. I'm the winner!

Come on, you can do it!

Bring on that mud!

I'm going to go out there and beat the boys, and get my claws into this course.

Any tips?

Come on!

Come on! You can do it!

Woo!

Woo! Wipeout!

# Don't stop me now...

Meet illustrator Sue Nicholls.

If Sue beats me I'll never live it down.

Meet retired graphic designer Pete Nicholls.

They want to use the Qualifier to see who wears the trousers.

Like any marriage, it has its ups and downs.

I'm going to show my husband who's boss.

I'm going to show HER who's boss.

# Burning through the sky, yeah

# 200 degrees, that's why they call me Mr Fahrenheit

# I'm travelling at the speed of light

# I wanna make a supersonic woman of you

# Don't stop me, don't stop me don't stop me, hey, hey

# Don't stop me, don't stop me Ooh ooh ooh

# Don't stop me, don't stop me Good time, good time

# Don't stop me, ohhhh

# Don't stop me now Yes, I'm having a good time

# I don't want to stop at all...

# La la la la laaaa La la la la

# La la laa laa laa laaa

# La la laa... #

Pete's wearing the trousers in this marriage, then.

Only they are slightly damp and muddy ones.

So, that is 19 of the 20.

One more competitor to come, Oliver.

He's a professional kite-surfer, whatever that is. That's not a job.

He's in top physical shape and he's annoyingly good looking, as well.

Is there anything wrong with this guy?

What are your strengths?

My strengths? Er...

Er...

Aha! Oh, good.

Woo! Yeah, baby!

Big up to the South Coast surf dudes! Watch me ride this victory wave home.

Whatever. Right, he's off.

Looks like he's forgotten his surfboard. And his kite.

The first set of Topple Towers haven't caused too many problems.

This is promising.

Second set. Oh, dear.

I hate this guy.

Look, he's all covered in mud and he still looks good.

With his kite surfing experience, he should be used to the balance required,

just not the 22 boxing gloves trying to smash his face in.

Took it like a man!

Come-on, Oliver. Nobody has got across the big balls so far today.

Please, show us how it's done.

Crikey! He very nearly did, as well!

Bounces off the first one, on to the second,

flips on to the third and then falls in the water.

That was staggeringly good.

This should be the easy part for him.

The leap of faith. He's used to flying at great heights, 40 feet in the air.

Man versus the elements. It should be really, really easy.

Or not.

I can confidently say that he's beaten Elias' time.

Let's see how that affects the leaderboard when he finishes.

2:06.

We have our final 12. The leaderboard topped by goat boy Michael,

our fastest competitor in the qualifier,

with handsome Ollie in second and screaming Lord Thomas now in third.

Moving down the field, we have Rich, Sam

and Miss Bournemouth herself sitting pretty in sixth.

In the middle of the pack, we have gymnast Steph, Stacey and Chris.

Bringing up the rear, Mark, Pete and Wendy in 12th and final place.

Sneaking into the top 12.

But the story doesn't stop there.

Our doctors have said that seventh-placed Steph

has taken one bump too many, and have advised her to withdraw.

So she's out, and the next fastest competitor takes her place.

No, it's not Elias. It's our oldest contestant today, Terry.

Now we've sorted that chaff from the ever-so-slightly faster chaff,

let's get on to the next round, the Sweeper.

We need to lose six more competitors, and this is what's about to happen.

Those 12 remaining competitors have to balance on these 13 foot high podiums,

leapfrogging the Sweeper arm, which gets faster and higher,

knocking them off until just six remain.

They're all then through to the next round. But the Sweeper doesn't stop.

The final six play on just for glory, to see who will be the last man or woman standing.

So, let's meet the Sweeper's dozen.

Standing on podium one is our very own Miss Bournemouth, Charlene.

Come on, girlies. One of us has to do this.

We've got to show the guys what we're made of.

Yes, well whatever it is, I hope it floats.

On podium two is Miss Fletcher, who has got good strong arms.

Three of them!

Podium three is Mr Nicholls, Pete.

OK, Susie, who's the boss now?

His wife Sue, there, completely disinterested, watching in losers' pen.

Next to him on four it's Daddy Cool, Chris, starting the mind games.

OK, Ollie, you're going down, mate.

Yeah, if he gets his balance.

On five and six are Wendy and screaming Lord Thomas.

This Sweeper is nasty!

Yes... On podiums seven, eight and nine

are goat boy Michael, literally Rich and Terry.

Let's have it for the oldies, come on.

On 10 is chemistry head Mark.

Bring it on!

I think his helmet straps are too tight.

On 11 and 12 is Mummy's boy Sam and handsome Ollie.

I've got my eye on the prize.

Well, there they are, our trembling 12.

I don't blame them, because they're about to become six.

Let's go out to the course and see who can survive the Sweeper.

-Are you all ready?

-ALL: Yeah!

3, 2, 1!

HORN BLARES

And we're off. It's a slow and gentle start for the Sweeper, as always.

It gets faster and higher later.

Charlene first over. Clings on,

and Stacey.

Pete's gone straight away, and now Chris as well. Wendy, too, falls.

Sam and Oliver stay standing.

But that... Charlene's over, but Stacey's gone,

it's an empty podium.

This is chaos.

Hang on a second, we must be down to six?

This is supposed to be the easy bit, but I think we've lost six already.

We need a replay to see what just happened.

So, Charlene looks like she's in trouble straight away,

but she's still hanging on.

Miss Fletcher tries the same move. She's hanging on as well.

Next, Pete, who's got the time to prepare

but forgets to jump, and sort of goes for a head butt.

Ouch!

It's not that high, it's not that frightening,

but somehow your legs start to go to jelly.

I can jump higher than that any day.

Yes, except tomorrow,

when your back's seized up and you can barely move.

Stacey now, still clinging on for dear life, there.

Chris almost stays up but throws a wobbly in the end and wobbles off.

It's so wobbly up there. You don't get a perspective of how wobbly it is up there.

We got that, wobbly. So it's goodbye to Chris and Wendy.

My legs went mental, I just couldn't...

They were shaking and shaking. I couldn't control them.

I landed after the first jump,

but my legs were shaking too much so I had to jump off the podium.

It's goodbye to Chris and Wendy.

And still, Stacey is hanging in there.

Here's an award-winning dismount.

Terry takes a bow, regains his composure

and still has time to perform a perfect dive.

Mark takes a bit of a tumble, but he's hanging on.

He's angry and he's still hanging on. No, he's not.

I'm just angry.

-I'm so angry I could cry now.

-I wouldn't if I were you.

I think you're back in school on Monday.

Finally, Stacey's gone.

The remaining six are now

guaranteed passage into the next round.

But they'll play on to see who's the best of the best.

Charlene is over, she hasn't got the hang of jumping

but her trip and hug technique seems to work well for her.

Thomas and Michael clear the bar with ease,

but the pressure's got to Rich, he's literally fallen off.

Charlene hasn't cleared that Sweeper arm once.

I hope she's got shin pads under those socks.

She's down and out, but she's safe inside our top six, remember.

Let's remind ourselves of her inimitable style.

I'm amazed her helmet stayed on for that long, let alone her.

And there's Rich going down in a blaze of chest pain.

Next time round it was just too much for Charlene, though,

and that face plant might have affected her chances of winning next year's Miss Bournemouth.

So we're down to our last four.

Thomas, Michael, Sam and Oliver.

They're all through to the next round

but the Sweeper arm won't stop until they're in the drink.

Who will be our last man standing?

Not Sam, who's the next to fall.

Thomas clears the bar once again and gives himself a little clap.

Well done, me.

Sam has a wobble, realises he's going in and makes the best of a bad lot

by showing his bum to Oliver in the vain hope it'll put him right off his podium, and it almost works.

Three to go. Getting lonely up there.

The Sweeper arm gets faster and higher all the time.

Thomas has gone, and it's a double whammy

as Michael totally wipes out.

Ollie has proved himself best at this round,

but clears the bar just for fun.

He's conquered the Sweeper and goes into the next round

with the psychological edge of being the last man standing.

Ollie, showing poise, grace, a cool head and some very uncool shorts.

Thomas over egged it and suddenly becomes all legs and arms.

And let's take another look at that magnificent flip from Michael.

I dont' know, I'm only guessing, but that probably hurt.

The Sweeper, doing its job and reducing the field from 12 down to 6.

One of whom is going to walk away, or maybe limp away, with the prize of £10,000.

Now we know the half dozen who'll go into the next round,

let's have a look at how they got there.

Taking top spot from the Sweeper is kite surfing's answer to Action Man, Ollie.

Watch me ride this victory wave home!

Closely followed by goat boy Michael.

# Choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo. #

This Sweeper is nasty!

Chasing them is screaming Lord Thomas.

SCREAMS

-I'm here to be the last man standing.

-They're joined by mummy's boy, Sam.

Yes! Come on!

Our last remaining girl, Miss Bournemouth.

You think I'm a girly girl and I'm going to run round like this!

Literally nothing will stop me getting to the end of this course.

And taking final spot, literally last to stay in the competition is literally Rich.

Is there any more pain and humiliation we could visit on these poor people?

Yes, yes there is.

It's called Dizzy Dummies

and it'll reduce them down from six to three finalists.

Welcome to Dizzy Dummies. Here's how it works.

We use that human roundabout to whizz our six semi-finalists round and round and round...

You get the picture.

Once they're bordering on nauseous, we set them free and watch as they

attempt to stumble, dazed, across some very unstable obstacles.

The aim is to reach the other side without falling in the water.

If they do fall in the water, it's a swim back to the start again.

Whoever is last to make it to the other side is eliminated.

We shall keep repeating the whole painful process,

not just for our own enjoyment but too whittle the group down to our three finalists.

Got it? Good. Let's get dizzy.

HORN BLARES

So, round and round and round for 40 seconds.

It doesn't need to go that quick!

This is terrifying.

This is the longest 40 seconds of my whole entire life.

A blur of Bermuda shorts and pink knee socks.

It's making me feel ill.

And they're off.

Charlene is first out the gate, but Michael takes an early lead.

And he must be pretty dizzy.

Nice posture, nasty fall for goat boy.

How could he miss?

Charlene makes it to the first obstacle, the tippy table,

but then just sort of freezes.

Thomas sees his chance and bounces across like a gazelle, he's safe.

Their heads are really spinning as they hit the water.

Which way is up?

Charlene takes the second tippy table with ease, now.

Finally clears, crosses the line and, well, trips over the line, but she's safe.

Michael, thinking outside the box,

to run across the finish line, as does literally Rich.

Two Left.

It'll be Ollie or Sam leaving in just a few seconds.

Remember, the last person over the line is out of the competition.

Ollie sees his chance and is the last person into the next round.

Sam realises it's all over and takes an early bath.

You look so disappointed, as you should.

I did my best. I got over the dizziness quite quick,

but it's quite slippy on the platforms.

That's the way it goes, isn't it?

And then there were five.

Those five have got to be strapped back into the Dizzy Dummy.

This time, all that stands between them and the finish line are the crazy beams.

The first four across are safe, the fifth will be eliminated.

Let's go straight back to the course.

I don't think there's a technique to the spinning bit, just try not to be sick.

HORN BLARES

After the 40 seconds of spinning, they're released and off once again.

Charlene doing her best to scare away the other competitors with her impression of a ghost.

Thomas goes in.

Oh, Ollie's down.

Goat boy Michael making good progress and hanging on.

It's a human pile up.

The goat boy, though, is up on his hooves.

Can he do it?

Yes, he powers into first place, and doesn't he look pleased?

Being first over the finish line will keep him in the competition.

Our remaining four competitors are getting pretty good at swimming by now.

That's Rich, making good progress.

-Ow, my rib!

-It's only pain.

Rich storms into second with a little skid, closely followed by Ollie.

So, either Thomas or Charlene will be going out of the competition.

Or out of their minds, whichever comes first.

This looked so tremendous, Miss Bournemouth makes a dash for it, but loses her balance.

Could be in real trouble now,

because that leaves Thomas heaving himself across the line.

So Charlene, the last remaining woman, is out.

You must be so disappointed cos you came so far?

I'm so happy about how far I came.

It's been such an experience.

Of course, I'm gutted not to be doing the final.

Our competitors are getting ready to spin just one more time.

Remember, at stake is a place in the Wipeout Zone.

The last person to cross the finish line

will have let the chance of winning £10,000 slip through their fingers.

This, then, is the most important spin of all

because three of these four competitors will be in the final.

Don't forget, they've been spun twice.

This probably doesn't feel good right now.

And they're released, and sprint to the start.

It's more of a stagger going on. Oliver is first out.

First across the seesaws.

And he's home and...

..wet!

I don't believe it!

And Rich is off, too.

Such a promising run, here, from Oliver.

Absolute determination.

But just not enough.

Loses his balance, in he goes.

And Rich just seems to have given up, quite literally.

This suddenly looks like brilliant delay tactics from goat boy.

Could this be a late winning spurt?

No.

But could this be a late winning spurt for Thomas,

who out of nowhere powers across the line like he's just broken the hundred metre record.

It's down to Oliver, Rich and Michael.

Which one of these won't be taking part in today's final?

Here's Ollie, struggling for balance.

He's fighting, giving it everything he's got.

Will he make it?

No, he's off, he's in the water.

But now, Michael. Come on, Michael.

Focus. Get that balance right.

It's your place in the final at stake. He's in the water, too.

Rich, now, another attempt.

It's looking good.

And Rich is in to the Grand Final.

Only one place remains up for grabs.

Ollie books his place, and that's really hard on Michael,

who was so near, yet so far.

He's out of the competition.

There was a point there where you almost made it,

you were clinging on for dear life. What happened?

It's just so hard, so slippery.

I'm so dizzy.

I gave it my all,

and I'm just sorry,

sorry I didn't make it to the final.

Unfortunately, you weren't good enough to get through this round to go to the Wipeout Zone,

but you did a great job. Well done.

Thanks.

So, it's Rich, Ollie and Thomas into the Wipeout Zone.

One of these three will be today's Total Wipeout champion.

They'll also be 10 grand richer.

And probably a lot wetter.

It's been a tough climb to the top,

but let's hope they've got a little something left in reserve

because things are about to get serious.

I'm really excited I've made it to the final, but so scared.

I don't know what will happen. We'll have to find out.

Nothing can describe how I'm feeling.

To know that this big course is ahead of me...

It's frightening, exciting.

It's brilliant.

I'm a little bit apprehensive, really.

It's quite a scary course.

I don't think it'll to be anything like what we've done so far.

In my mind, before I left to come out here, I thought, "I can do this, I really can do this."

Then I met the competitors that I was up against...

..and my hopes dropped a little bit.

Literally, all I thought within myself was literally,

"Do your best, everyone, and then you can't be disappointed within yourself."

When I arrived in Argentina, I did feel like I could be where I am now.

I think that's just self-belief.

To a healthy extent, I thought I wouldn't be here

if I didn't think I could give it 110% and get to the final.

My main motivation of being here is to enjoy the experience

and have a fabulous time, complete the course and be the winner.

If I win Total Wipeout, I'm not an emotional person generally,

but I think you might actually see a few tears come from my eyes.

To win Total Wipeout would be amazing for me.

It would mean I could travel the world and continue having amazing experiences.

I had a tear today, I have to say.

It's been exhausting, real highs and real lows,

watching people go out and knowing it's meant to them.

It's been a real journey.

It's been a long day for all our contestants,

but for our three finalists, nightfall will have struck fear into their hearts.

It means only one thing, mosquitoes.

Well, mosquitoes and our incredibly gruelling final round, the Wipeout Zone.

So, it's Rich, Oliver and Thomas who will now face the most punishing

obstacle course on the planet, the Wipeout Zone.

Down the 50 foot killer surf, carried along by 2,000 litres of gushing water.

The barrel roll, 25, 50 kilo kegs that smash towards them head on.

The Wipeout Wall, a five-metre climb inside a torrential waterfall.

The fast revolving spinner, designed to disorientate.

And finally a 15 foot rolling beam leading to two launch pads and the finish podium.

Let's join Amanda Byram ringside to see who's going to take the £10,000 prize.

I can tell you it's absolutely terrifying down here,

but not as terrifying as it must be up there with our first finalist, it's Rich.

Well, Rich is literally going to have to put in the performance of his lifetime to take the £10,000.

HORN BLARES

He needs to get out of the water quickly.

He's setting the benchmark.

Here come those heavy barrels.

Great athleticism, but the third barrel has caught him out,

and now he's struggling.

Now Rich tentatively steps on to that soaking wet climbing wall.

Come on, Rich.

This is your moment.

The weight of all that freezing water is testing to nerves and body.

I'd say breathe, Rich, but probably not now.

Rich steadies himself for the Spinner.

Makes the leap, and manages to cling on.

But don't forget the longer he stays on, the dizzier he'll get

so he can't afford to hang around for long.

He's got... He's just misjudged that jump.

He doesn't quite land cleanly and rolls straight off into the water.

That puts him straight into trouble.

That means he'll have to go back to the start of the Spinner

and try again, and lose precious time.

Another chance to jump,

this time he's not lingering around, he's straight off.

Now, he's got to compose himself for the roller beam, but keep the speed up.

He makes his move, and clears it.

Just two trampolines stand between him now

and the finish podium.

He's got no time to waste, he knows it.

Throws himself from one to the next.

He's got a final leap,

and he's done it!

Rich has literally completed the Wipeout Zone.

But will that be fast enough to win him the 10 Gs?

Rich started well enough, with the help of gravity.

But he was quickly getting slowed down by the obstacles.

The Wipeout Zone literally has Rich over a barrel.

Then his cautious approach to the climbing wall,

whilst admirable for health and safety reasons,

did cost him valuable seconds.

As did two attempts at the Spinner.

But he got there in the end,

and he sets the target time of 3 minutes and 9 seconds.

Rich, how was that for you?

I fell off, I fell off the thing.

That was exhausting, very exhausting.

You get all the water in your face climbing back up.

You were doing so well, you were greased lightning all the way,

but you lost it a bit on the Spinner. What happened?

I wasn't expecting it to go so fast.

It just flew me right off.

So Rich has staked his claim for tonight's title and cash prize.

Next to take on the Wipeout Zone is handsome Ollie.

He's shown his strength by being our last man standing in the Sweeper.

Can he build on success just when it matters?

None of the finalists get to watch, so Ollie has no idea of Rich's time.

HORN BLARES

He's out of the ring

and swimming for the barrel roll.

One mistimed jump here would be all it takes.

Ollie's obviously played lots arcade games,

because he's quicker than Rich on the barrel roll.

Next, it's on to the wall.

That's no problem for Ollie, either.

He looks like Indiana Jones up there.

He's ahead of Rich at this point.

But he cannot get complacent.

One big mistake could cost him the lead.

The leap to the Spinner, now. He's on safely.

It's more important how you get off.

He did that quickly, too, and stayed on.

Incredible stuff.

He steadies himself for the rolling beam.

Just shrugs it off. An incredible time.

The final obstacles now, the launch pads. Oh, no!

-That's his mistake!

-Oh!

Overshot the first launch pad.

That could be costly for Ollie.

Now he's got to climb back up and try again.

He's lost time already.

Now taking each launch pad one at a time.

It takes longer but it's safe,

builds up momentum for the final leap

on to the final launch pad.

Now, finally to clear this leap to the podium.

He's done it!

Ollie's near-flawless trek across the course

has practically halved the benchmark,

now an incredible 1 minute 48 seconds.

-Woo!

-No wonder he sounds happy.

The only thing that slowed down Oliver was the first launch pad, where he overbalanced.

But that was followed by a strong finish.

And Ollie's going to take some beating.

How was that for you?

It was fun, absolutely excellent.

-Awesome.

-How did you think you did?

Maybe quick. If someone does it straight, they'll beat me, I guess.

You did falter a little bit, though.

Your balance got the better of you.

-What happened over on the launch pad?

-I guess it was a bit of nerves.

Wobbly legs, I guess.

But I got there in the end.

So our last finalist, Thomas, has screamed his way through every obstacle to reach this final.

Will he have the last laugh by beating what was an incredible run by Ollie? Let's find out.

Remember, Thomas has no idea how the other finalists have fared.

It's just him versus the course.

HORN BLARES

Thomas' long legs will be useful in the barrel roll.

Thomas still on a par with Ollie's time.

He's still got the Spinner ahead of him.

He almost looks like he's taking it easy across the wall,

but he's making good time, it's just very controlled.

Getting this jumping right will be crucial

if Thomas is to beat Ollie's time.

Remember, 10 grand is still in sight right now.

He's on. But he's got to get off.

He must make it on this pass.

Make that leap.

Oh, and he so nearly made that landing.

What a time to fall off.

Has that cost him the title and the cash prize?

Thomas just slips off at the last minute, costing him vital seconds.

This is Thomas' second attempt at a landing now, will he hang on this time?

It's close, but he does it.

On to the rolling beam. He needs to fly through these obstacles, now.

Digs deep.

Great determination and concentration.

The final leap.

Hits the podium.

But it's not good enough to beat Oliver,

and you can see he's angry with himself.

It all started so well for Thomas,

but that single mistake jumping off the Spinner

was all that was needed to hand handsome Ollie tonight's title and cash prize.

I can tell you right now, Thomas, you've been very excitable,

very determined all the way through this course.

But, unfortunately, it just wasn't good enough, because Oliver,

yours was the quickest time and you are the Total Wipeout winner!

Woo!

Ollie's magnificent run was just too much for the other finalists on the night.

And the 26-year-old kite-surfer from Brighton

becomes our very first Total Wipeout champion.

So poor old Rich must literally go home empty-handed, whilst Thomas regrets that costly slip.

I hope that trophy's rustproof, it's got to last the rest of the series!

So, we have a winner.

It's Ollie, congratulations.

I've still no idea how you make a living out of kite-surfing.

Anyway, join us next week when you can expect more of this.

SCREAMING

And spills like this.

That's gotta hurt! See you then.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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