Quiz Show Champions Weakest Link

Here are the nine contestants preparing for today's show.

Only one of them will win up to £10,000.

The others will leave with nothing when voted off as the weakest link.

Welcome to a quiz show champion edition of the Weakest Link.

The nine people in the studio are all winners

who THINK they're the cleverest in the land.

But I hope we all know who's first among equals here.

Anyway, they can win up to £10,000 for charity,

but if they want that prize money, they'll have to work together.

However, eight will leave with nothing,

as round by round, we lose the player voted the weakest link.

Let's meet the team.

I'm Bill, and I'm from Greenock.

I was a Fifteen to One champion,

and set a record by getting the maximum score of 433.

So when it comes to scoring points with Anne today, who knows?

She may have met her match.

I'm Kerri, and I'm from Gidea Park in Essex,

and I'm the biggest prize-winner on Pointless,

and I'm here to make sure everyone else leaves cashless.

I'm David, from Denston.

I've won Mastermind and Millionaire,

so I own a ground-glass spittoon, and a million-pound cheque.

I'll leave it to you to judge which I value more.

I'm Jenny, from Salwarpe.

I won University Challenge in 2010 with Emmanuel College, Cambridge,

and now I'm hoping to add the strongest link to my CV.

I'm Ravi, from Chester.

I'm the Weakest Link's biggest ever prize-winner,

which was very nice, but not as nice as winning £1 million.

I'm Judith, I live in London, and I was the first person in the UK

to win £1 million on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?,

and nobody coughed!

I'm Ian, I'm the current Mastermind champion,

and I'm here to prove that I can answer questions standing up as well as sitting down.

I'm Steph, from Haverhill, and I won the National Lottery People's Quiz,

which is almost as good as winning the lottery.

I'm Chris, from Crewe,

and as an Egghead, I have the answer to the definitive question

that has exercised intellectuals for centuries.

Which came first? It's the egg, people!

OK, just to remind you, in each round, there's £1,000 to be won.

The fastest way is to create a chain of nine correct answers.

Break the chain and you lose all the money in that chain.

Say "Bank" before the question is asked and the money is safe.

Round One, three minutes on the clock.

We'll start with the person whose name is first alphabetically.

That's you, Bill.

Let's play the Weakest Link.

The first question is for £20.

Start the clock.

Bill, in maths, what is 1 x 1?

One.

Correct. Kerri, in the world of quizzes,

the abbreviation GK usually stands for General what?

Knowledge.

Correct. David, birthday cards for children

often come with a detachable badge

that displays a number representing

the recipient's what? Age or shoe size?

Age.

Correct. Jenny, according to the common expression,

you'll get a silly answer if you ask a silly what?

Question.

Correct. Ravi, in human anatomy,

what B is the name of a large organ in the head?

Brain.

Correct. Judith, in pop music, in 1962,

Mick Jagger was one of the founding members

of which rock group?

Rolling Stones.

Correct. Ian, in electrical equipment in the UK, the neutral wire

on a modern domestic plug is which primary colour?

Blue.

Correct. Steph, in theatre, the name of which of these creatures

appears in the title of a Shakespeare play? The shrew or the kangaroo?

The shrew.

Correct. Chris, in TV, on Mastermind,

the phrase informing contestants that they will hear

the remainder of a question is "I've started, so I'll what?"

Finish.

-Correct.

-Bank!

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

OK. You've reached and banked your £1,000 target...

..in that pathetically easy round.

Who's worrying you? Who won't keep up the pace in the rounds to come?

Who's already annoyed you?

Have the courage NOT to vote off your biggest rival.

It'll show.

Time to vote off the weakest link.

In an impressive first round, Bill is the strongest link,

as he banked all the money for the team.

Statistically, Kerri is the weakest link,

but who will the players vote off at this early stage of the game?

Voting over. It's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

Jenny.

Ian.

Kerri.

Kerri.

Ian.

Ian.

Kerri.

Ian.

Jenny.

Ravishing Ravi.

Hello, Anne. Nice to see you again.

You still haven't had your ears pinned back.

No, I've decided that I'm proud of them,

and I like them the way they are, flapping in the breeze.

Really? And this is your third appearance?

It is, yes.

What is it about me you like so much?

I don't know, Anne, but I'm marvelling at how much younger

you look than last time, it's just amazing.

Good.

And you're still a paediatrician?

I am still a paediatrician.

And when you're leaning on to look at the babies,

is it helpful to have a wind flapping?

Well, it is when they've got fevers,

-because it must help to cool them down.

-Yes.

And what else have you been doing since you were last on here?

Well, I've developed my midlife crisis further,

and I've taken up doing triathlons.

Yes, that's very boring. Anything else?

I indulge in the occasional karaoke.

Put your board down.

-What can you sing?

-Erm...

I could do Honky Tonk Woman by The Rolling Stones in tribute to you.

I doubt whether you can, but you could try.

Have you started yet?

# I met her, a gin-soaked bar room queen in Memphis

# She tried to take me upstairs for a ride

# She had to heave me right across her shoulder

# But I just can't seem to drink it off of my mind. #

Put your board up.

OK. Ian is the current Mastermind champion.

What possible reason could there be to eliminate him?

Well, he has a very good highbrow-end knowledge, but the Weakest Link

is an all-encompassing quiz show, and delves into the lowbrow a little bit -

that's no insult to you - and I just felt that he might

struggle with some of the soap opera and B-list celebrity questions.

-Kerri, remind me what you've won.

-Pointless.

-Oh, put your board down.

You've brought your own Eggheads!

Yes, most definitely.

Put your board up.

And remind me what your job is.

I'm a track assessment technician.

Do you know, I don't know what that means.

The easiest way to describe it is I make sure trains

don't crash into things that they want to install on the Underground.

You stop the trains, do you?

No, I make sure that they fit in the tunnels.

Do you fit through the tunnels?

Just about!

And tell me, Ian's the current Mastermind champion.

What possible excuse have you got?

Did you feel that he might beat you in the rounds to come?

Oh, absolutely.

Yes. He's your worst rival, is he?

No, I would have said that was Chris.

What have you won, Steph?

I won the National Lottery People's Quiz.

Did you? Have you got a job?

No, I'm a part-time student.

Oh, which university are you at?

University of Essex.

-Really? Studying what?

-Local and Community History.

Really? So have you done the history of tanning salons yet?

It's not that part of Essex, I'm afraid.

It's North Essex, we're different up there.

Yes, and have you learned to dance round your handbag?

I think we grow up knowing how to do that.

And presumably you're getting very, very excited, standing next to Ian.

He's the George Clooney of quiz shows, isn't he?

Well, he is, and it's an honour to stand next to him.

Yes, so why do you want to get rid of him?

I just think that maybe he's not going to cope

too well with the pressure.

I think he's used to a more intellectual-type quiz...

I'm sorry, is that some reflection on my show?

No, I think all general knowledge is equally valid,

but I think he might struggle with the pressure on this show.

What?

What pressure?

Having to stand up straight

and turn the board the right way, possibly.

Ian, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

I'm glad that I've helped to raise money for charity.

I wish it was my own charity,

but the show can't happen without nine people willing to do it,

and as a result, a large sum of money,

hopefully a large sum of money, will be going to a good cause.

Round Two, and in the bank, £1,000.

We're now taking 10 seconds off your time.

We'll start with the strongest link from the last round. That's Bill.

Let's play the Weakest Link.

Start the clock.

Bill, in a pub quiz, when a team nominates its favoured round

in the hope of scoring extra points, it's said to play its what?

Riddler or Joker?

Its Joker.

Correct. Kerri, in mythology, which sea creature

has the head and body of a woman, and the tail of a fish?

Mermaid.

Correct. David, in cinema promotional posters,

for which 2000 film depicted the title character played by Jamie Bell

leaping in the air with a pair of ballet shoes around his neck?

Billy Elliot.

Correct. Jenny, in chivalry, the traditional rescuer

of a damsel in distress is known as a knight in shining what?

Armour.

Correct. Ravi, in the animal kingdom, what G is the type of insect

that produces a chirping sound by rubbing a hind leg against a wing?

Grasshopper.

Correct. Judith, in science, the 17th-century physicist who formulated

what became known as Newton's law of motion had what first name?

Isaac.

Correct. Steph, at the football World Cup finals,

the leading goal-scorer is presented with an award called the what?

Golden Shot or Golden Boot?

Golden Boot.

Correct. Chris, in art, the statue of Aphrodite in the Louvre gallery

that has both arms missing is called the Venus de what?

Milo.

Correct. Bill, in money, what's the official currency of Germany?

Euro.

-Correct.

-Bank!

END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

OK, you've reached and banked your £1,000 target

in that second pathetically easy round.

Who's worrying you?

Who won't make it in the rounds to come?

Time to vote off the weakest link.

Having answered the most questions correctly,

Bill is still the strongest link.

The weakest link, statistically, is David,

but will the voting reflect reality?

Voting over, it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

Kerri.

Jenny.

Jenny.

Chris.

Steph.

Bill.

Bill.

Jenny.

Remind us what you've won, David.

Millionaire and Mastermind.

Yes, and you represented your country, did you?

I did, Anne, yes.

Yes. Which country is that?

That would be Wales, Anne.

And when you got the £1 million,

couldn't you have gone back and bought Wales?

I could have bought Liverpool,

but I don't think I'd have run to Wales.

No. Why Jenny?

Well, nobody deserves to go, do they, Anne?

But it's the same reason as I voted for Kerri last time.

It's simply a matter of minimising the amount

that an old man has to crane his neck.

Do you want to elaborate on that?

I voted for Kerri last time.

I didn't want to vote for the same person again,

but at the same time I don't want to have to twist my neck too much

as the game goes on, so I went for Jenny because she actually

requires the biggest twist of my neck to actually get to look at her.

-So, Chris.

-Anne.

You're the original Egghead.

I'm one of the five originals, yeah.

And what do you do, Chris?

I'm retired, Anne.

Are you? From what?

I used to be a train driver.

Right, and how many times have you been on television?

Well, if we count every show of Eggheads, something over 1,000.

So, women must be throwing themselves at you.

I don't know why they don't!

You'd think I'd be beating them off with a well-manured shillelagh

when everyone knows I'm free and available,

but it just doesn't happen.

Why Jenny?

To draw an analogy, this game needs battleships.

The ladies are - shall we say? - more cruisers.

Smaller guns, less armour.

Really?

Would you say that women have less brains than men?

I didn't say brains, I said smaller guns and less armour.

Could you explain that?

Right, OK.

Back in the days when we had a Navy,

the capital ships were the battleships,

which were heavily armoured, heavily gunned

and didn't venture out of port much.

The world was released by cruisers, which were fast ships, medium-sized,

six-inch, eight-inch guns and relatively light armour.

This would sum up the ladies - fast, lightly armoured,

and we just sit around on a mound of herring and tomato tins growing rust.

This analogy has gone far enough.

You're the sort of Robert Redford of quizzes, aren't you?

Er, more like the Robert Morley, I would say.

Jenny, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Well, it's pretty annoying to get voted off in Round Two

without even having got a question wrong.

I think that they were picking on me because I'm younger than them,

and they think I don't know as much, but they may regret it later on.

Round Three. We're down to seven players. You've won £2,000.

Another 10 seconds coming off the time.

We'll start with the strongest link from the last round. That's Bill.

Let's play the Weakest Link.

Start the clock.

Bill, in education, Samantha Cameron and Kate Middleton

attended the same school in which town?

Marlborough or Scarborough?

Marlborough.

Correct. Kerri, in maths, what is three-fifths of 10?

Six.

Correct. David, in entertainment, Mike, Rick, Vyvyan and Neil

represented Scumbag College on University Challenge

in an episode of which TV comedy series?

The Young Ones.

Correct. Ravi, in communication,

an informal means of spreading information

through casual conversation is known as the grape what?

Vine.

-Correct. Judith.

-Bank!

-What did you say?

-I said bank.

In nature, what W is the common name of a tree grown

for its valuable ornamental timber and for its wrinkled, edible nuts?

-Yew?

-Walnut.

Steph, in cinema, which 1997 film features the memorable line,

"Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls."

Titanic.

Correct. Chris, in UK money, the social reformer Elizabeth Fry

is depicted on the reverse of a Bank of England note of which denomination?

£5.

Correct. Bill, in pop music, On The Floor was a UK number one single

in 2011 for which singer and actress?

Lady Gaga.

Jennifer Lopez.

Kerri, in TV quiz show presenters, the former host of Fifteen to One,

William Stewart, has what middle name?

Gladstone or Disraeli?

Gladstone.

Correct. David, on a standard UK Monopoly board,

what's the name of the corner square that has a section called Just Visiting?

Go To Jail. Jail.

No, I cannot accept. It's In Jail.

Ravi, in weather, what H is the specific term for a storm

with constant wind speeds of more than 73 mph?

Hurricane.

Correct. Judith, in comics,

the quartet of superheroes called Reed Richards, Susan Storm,

Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm are known by what collective name?

I don't know.

Fantastic Four.

Steph, in women's fashion, the very skimpy and very tight shorts

first popular in the early 1970s are called hot what?

Pants.

Correct. Chris, in geography, which island in the Indian Ocean that became

an Australian territory in 1958 bears the name of a Christian festival?

Christmas Island.

Correct. Bill, in the animal kingdom,

which of the limbs of an orang-utan are longer?

Its arms or its legs?

Its arms.

-Correct.

-Bank!

Kerri, in the TV quiz Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?,

each contestant has one chance to request help

using a lifeline known as Phone A what?

Friend.

Correct. David, in archaeology, in 1922, the Egyptologist Howard Carter

discovered the tomb of which Pharaoh?

Tutankhamen.

-Correct.

-Bank!

Ravi. In the film and stage...

END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

Time's up, and you only won £350.

Who's become so dim

they make a toaster look like a computer?

Who really has gone down in your estimation?

Time to vote off the weakest link.

As the only player to get all their answers wrong,

Judith is the weakest link.

The statistics show that Kerri is the strongest link,

but who will the team want off?

Voting over, it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

Judith.

David.

Judith.

Bill.

Bill.

Judith.

David.

-Bill.

-Anne.

What did you win?

Fifteen To One.

And what do you do, Bill?

I've retired. I'm a retired clergyman.

Yeah, and now you're retired, what do you do?

Have you given up the church?

No, no, no. I still keep my hand in.

How do you do that?

I cover for ministers on holiday.

Oh, what's that called?

It's called supply.

Why Judith?

Well, apart from the fact that she voted for me,

and because she voted for me before.

I'm like the Habsburg monarchy. We forget nothing.

But if you're a minister, don't you turn the other cheek?

Oh, yes, yes, but I forget nothing.

Steph, why Judith?

It's because I have a very short attention span,

and I can't really remember what everyone else did,

but because Judith has the misfortune to be

immediately before me, I remembered that she got some questions wrong.

Judith, you were the first person to win Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

-Yeah.

-And have you spent all your money?

Certainly not.

No. Have you still got £1 million?

I hope so.

And tell me, the one question that you needed to phone a friend for,

what amount of money were you at then?

Oh, 125, I think.

OK, and you've got a friend, and she got you through.

Yes, she did.

-And did you share 50/50 of the money with her?

-Not 50/50.

I shared a proportion of the 125 that she won for me.

Oh. Is there an etiquette on this?

I didn't know the etiquette, so I had to sort of make it up.

Oh, so what did you give her?

It was a proportion of 125. Anyway, not your business, actually!

So you don't want to tell us?

No, it's not your business!

-Judith.

-Yes.

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

The two people who were voted off before me were highly academic

and intelligent and so on, so it is difficult to predict,

as not the most intelligent person's necessarily going to win.

Round Four. In the bank, £2,350. Another 10 seconds off the time.

We'll start with the strongest link from the last round.

That's Big Kerri. Let's play the Weakest Link.

Start the clock.

Kerri, in the game Paper, Scissors, Stone,

which of the three objects is indicated by an open hand?

Paper.

Correct. David, in Scottish Highland dress, what is the term

for the small bag that is worn hanging from a belt in front of the kilt?

Sporran.

Correct. Ravi, in art, the famous painting by Salvador Dali entitled

The Persistence Of Memory features images of what?

Melting watches or floppy disks?

Watches.

I'll accept. Steph, in maths, what is 11 x 0?

0.

Correct. Chris, in snacks, the thin,

sweet biscuit with a fluted edge made with coconut

and sprinkled with sugar has which four-letter word imprinted on it?

Nice.

Correct. Bill, in a newspaper, what Q is the word often used

to describe a simple crossword puzzle

that suggests it can be completed in a short time?

A quickie.

-I'll accept.

-Bank!

Kerri, in celebrities, Madison, who was born in 2011, as a half-sister

to Phoenix Chi and Angel, is the third daughter of which former Spice Girl?

Mel C.

-No, it's Mel B.

-No, Melanie Brown or Mel B.

David, in human biology,

which muscular organ is situated on the floor of the mouth?

The tongue.

Correct. Ravi, in tourist brochures, because of their canal networks,

the cities of St Petersburg and Bruges

are often compared to which Italian destination?

Venice.

Correct. Steph, in his novel 1984, George Orwell wrote that one public event

to which the proles paid serious attention was what?

The lottery, or the X Factor?

The lottery.

Correct. Chris, in Formula 1, the front place on the starting grid awarded

to the driver with the best practice lap time is known by what name?

Pole position.

Correct. Bill, in geography, what C is the name of a major city in South Wales,

situated roughly on a straight line between Swansea and Bristol?

Cardiff.

-Correct. Kerri.

-Bank!

In entertainment, the presenter of the quiz show Blockbusters,

who once played James Bond in a 1956 radio adaptation is Bob who?

Holness.

Correct. David, in the terminology of time,

which word always means the day two days after yesterday?

Tomorrow.

Correct. Ravi, in equestrian pursuits,

the term bareback refers to the uncovered body of which participant?

The horse or the rider?

The horse.

Correct. Steph, in pop music,

what's the three-letter name of a style of reggae that was revived

in the late 1970s by groups such as The Beat and Madness?

Ska.

Correct. Chris, in US politics, the husband of Eleanor Roosevelt had what

eight-letter first name?

Franklin.

-Correct.

-Save! Er, save, bank.

END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

What did you call first?

-Save.

-No.

-I know.

Time's up.

You won £750. You actually had a chain of 10 correct answers.

Who was banking when they shouldn't?

Who has their clever clogs on the wrong feet?

Time to vote off the weakest link.

According to the statistics, Chris is the strongest link.

The weakest link now is Kerri, but will the votes pick up on the facts?

Voting over, it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

Chris.

Bill.

Bill.

Chris.

Chris.

Bill.

We have a tie, team.

Chris and Bill, three votes each.

Chris, why Bill?

I wasn't paying too close attention at the end of the last round, Anne.

Whatever that nonsense was, I think it lost us money.

So, Bill, the retired minister, you're voting for Chris.

You thought he was the worst player, did you?

No, I didn't think that.

I think he lost us money because I made a mess at the end,

but I really felt that he was running the clock down too tightly.

So, what should he have done?

He should have banked before he took the question.

When the vote's tied, the strongest link has to cast the deciding vote.

And the strongest link was Chris.

Who would you like to get rid of, Chris?

Well, since it's between me and Bill,

and I can't vote for myself, it's got to be Bill. Sorry, Bill.

-You've worked all that out, have you?

-Oh, yes!

Bill, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Oh, I think Chris and I were involved in what you would call a road traffic accident in Quizland.

I felt that maybe he should have banked before he took the last question.

He took the last question and left me little time to shout bank,

and I think I flustered and didn't do it.

Round Five. You're up to £3,100. Another 10 seconds off the time.

We'll start with the strongest link from the last round. That's Chris.

Let's play the Weakest Link.

Start the clock.

Chris, in the circus, what J is the word for an entertainer who keeps

several objects in the air by alternately throwing and catching them?

A juggler.

Correct. Kerri, in hospitals, the calm, reassuring way in which

doctors talk to their patients is known as their bedside what?

Manner.

Correct. David, in history, in 1790, the Pacific island of Pitcairn

was settled by mutineers from which British ship?

Bounty.

Correct.

Ravi, in TV, in a reference to a bovine cartoon

character on a 1980s and '90s gameshow,

a familiar catchphrase of Jim Bowen was, "You can't beat a bit of what?"

Bully.

Correct. Steph, when rolling a pair of standard dice,

there is a probability of one in six of getting two numbers

that are what? Different or the same?

The same.

Correct. Chris, in the 1977 film Star Wars,

the character called Chewbacca

is a member of which fictional species?

He's a Wookiee.

-Correct.

-Bank!

Kerri, in personal grooming, what W describes

hair that is in-between straight and curly in appearance?

Wavy.

Correct. David, in sport, of the four major strokes used

in Olympic and World Championship swimming, which is the slowest?

The breaststroke.

Correct. Ravi, in entertainment,

a repeated line in the theme song to the musical Fame is

"Remember my what?"

Name.

Correct. Steph, in autobiographies, the 1998 book entitled

Losing My Virginity was the life story of which personality?

Richard Branson or Richard Osman?

Richard Branson.

Correct. Chris, in the United States,

the state capital of Arkansas is called Little what?

Rock.

-Correct.

-Bank.

Kerri, in cinema, in a 2003 animated film,

what's the name of the young clownfish

who's separated from his father after being caught by a scuba diver?

Nemo.

Correct. David, in beauty, what C is the term for fatty

deposits on the thighs

that give the skin a dimpled appearance?

Erm...

It's called cellulite.

Correct.

Ravi, in headlines, "Egghead Weds Hourglass"

was how one publication summed up the wedding

in 1956 of Arthur Miller to which actress?

Marilyn Monroe.

Correct. Steph, in the rules of tennis,

which piece of equipment must be no more than

29 inches in length or 12 and a half inches wide?

Racquet.

-Correct.

-Bank!

-Chris, in TV...

END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

Time's up. You won £950.

But you had a chain of 15 correct answers. Who keeps banking?

Who's now gone 50/50 between their brain and their backside?

Who probably thinks a starter for 10 is something you order in a Chinese restaurant?

Time to vote off the weakest link.

The statistics reveal that David is the weakest link.

Kerri is now the strongest link, but will the other players realise that?

Voting over. It's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

David.

Kerri.

Kerri.

David.

Kerri.

Dr Flappy Ears, why Kerri?

Two reasons.

For the last two rounds she's been quite cautious with her banking,

which has brought us a lot, but if she hadn't banked, we'd have hit the maximum.

But the main reason is that I can't believe she got confused between Mel B and Mel C.

Welsh David.

Yes, English Anne?

Why Kerri?

I thought that she has had a tendency to bank early.

You know, it's very difficult in this sort of company to pick on anybody.

Statistically, you were the worst player.

Votes that count.

Kerri, you are the weakest link, goodbye.

I think Steph could win today,

because I think Chris'll make it through to the final three,

but I don't think they'll take him through.

If Chris makes it to the final, Chris would obviously win,

because he is the Egghead.

I don't think anybody would be brave enough to take him through. I would have done.

Round Six. In the kitty, £4,050.

Another 10 seconds coming off the time.

You've voted off the strongest link from the last round,

so we'll start with the second strongest.

That's Chris. Let's play the Weakest Link.

Start the clock.

Chris, in English grammar, if I and me are first-person pronouns,

which person are the words he and him?

Third.

Correct.

David, in pop music,

the virtual band that was formed in 2000

with members called Noodle, Russel, 2D and Murdoc

has what name?

Erm, Apes?

Gorillaz.

Ravi, in ancient literature, what L is the name of the Greek island

that was the home of the female poet Sappho?

Lesbos.

Correct. Steph, in TV, as mentioned in its opening announcements,

the quiz show Sale Of The Century, hosted by Nicholas Parsons,

was broadcast from which city?

Norwich.

Correct. Chris, in fashion,

which of these is the name of a fabric pattern with a zigzag effect?

Herringbone or cod fillet?

Herringbone.

Correct. David, according to the popular rhyme that

warns against hurried work, haste makes what?

Er, more work?

Waste. Ravi, in geography, a ship sailing due west across the Atlantic Ocean

from Land's End in Cornwall would first reach land in which country?

Canada.

Correct. Steph, in entertainment,

having won the Mercury Music Prize in 2001,

which female singer received the award again in 2011

for her album Let England Shake?

PJ Harvey.

Correct. Chris, in geology, what P is the term for a division

of time that is longer than epoch but shorter than an era?

Period.

Correct. David, in definitions,

which term meaning having the shape of a cube sounds

the same as a word for a partitioned space

in a public toilet?

Cubicle.

-Correct.

-Bank!

-Ravi, in cinema,

the son of David Bowie, once known as Zowie,

has directed the films Moon and Source Code

using his birth name, Duncan what?

Jones.

Correct. Steph, in publishing,

following its attack on the outcome of an inquest in 1830,

which British broadsheet daily newspaper acquired the nickname The Thunderer?

The Times.

Correct. Chris, in British Royal history, what A was the first real name

of both King Edward VII and King George VI?

Albert.

-Correct.

-Bank.

David, in art, an area of promenade known as the Comedy Carpet

that is paved with catchphrases and jokes, was unveiled in 2011...

END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

Time's up, I can't complete the question.

You won just £300. So, consider this.

Is David now a pain in the neck?

Should Steph be history?

Will Ravi be out on his ear?

Or does Chris need to abandon ship?

Time to vote off the weakest link.

With the most wrong answers, David is still the weakest link.

Statistically, Chris is the strongest link,

but how will the votes go?

Voting over, it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

Chris.

David.

David.

Ravi.

So, Dr Ravi, how do you think you're doing so far?

I think I'm doing OK.

I don't recall that I've got any questions wrong,

so I've quite surprised myself so far.

And why have you voted for David?

I voted for David on this round because he, really,

was the only person who struggled and got questions wrong.

So, Steph, it must be a surprise to you that you're still here.

It is quite a surprise, yes.

Because on Chris's theory, you really don't have enough armoury.

I don't know how I've managed to stay here.

Yes. Why have you voted for David?

Same reason as Ravi, really. He got a couple of questions wrong.

David.

Yes, Anne?

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

The walk of shame. To be honest, I felt no shame.

Against such company, somebody has got to go.

I felt, actually, moderately pleased at lasting as long as I did,

and to be quite honest, on that last round there was nobody else who was going to go.

Round Seven, and you're up to £4,350. Another 10 seconds off the time.

We'll start with the strongest link from the last round. That's Chris.

Let's play the Weakest Link.

Start the clock.

Chris, in Iceland, at nearly 5,000 feet above sea level,

Hekla is a well-known example of which type of feature?

A glacier or a volcano?

It's a volcano.

Correct. Ravi, in music, in the operettas of Gilbert and Sullivan,

which of the two wrote the lyrics?

Gilbert.

Correct. Steph, in modern speech, what B is a word meaning "fundamentally"

that is considered by many people to be overused

and often as having no meaning at all?

Basically.

Correct. Chris, in celebrities,

in a wedding ceremony in northern Italy in 2008, the footballer Wayne Rooney

married his long-time girlfriend Coleen who?

I only know her as Coleen Rooney.

McLoughlin.

Ravi, in hobbies, a birdwatcher who tries to spot as many rare species

as possible is referred to as a what?

Twitcher or twiddler?

Twitcher.

Correct. Steph, in international politics,

which southern hemisphere country left the Commonwealth in 1961

and rejoined in 1994?

South Africa.

Correct. Chris, in nature, what W is an alternative name for the large,

North American member of the squirrel family

that is also known as a groundhog?

Woodchuck.

-Correct.

-Bank!

-Ravi, in pop music,

what's the full name of the Californian rock group

that had a UK number one album in 2011 entitled I Am With You?

I don't know, Anne.

Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Steph, in food, the dish called gefilte fish

is a traditional item in which cuisine?

Caribbean or Jewish?

Jewish.

Correct. Chris, on a dartboard, which number is situated

to the right of the five and the left of the one?

20.

Correct. Ravi, in TV, what J is a word meaning exposure to danger

that is also the title of a US quiz show that began in the 1960s?

Jeopardy.

Correct. Steph, in anatomy, the hardest material in the human body

is which substance that forms part of the tooth?

Enamel.

Correct. Chris, in boxing, the fighter who in 1971 became the first man to beat

Muhammad Ali in a professional fight was his fellow American, Joe who?

-Frazier.

-Bank!

END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

Time's up. Your bank was in time, so you won £400.

In Round Eight, you get the chance to treble what you bank.

Time to vote off the weakest link.

Steph is the strongest link, because she didn't get an answer wrong.

The weakest link now is Ravi,

but who will be taking the final walk of shame?

Voting over, it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.

Chris.

Ravi.

Ravi.

Steph, why Ravi?

Because I think he got the most questions wrong.

To be honest, it's all a bit of a blur.

Is it a bit of a blur for you, Chris?

No, it's a lucid moment, actually.

It's a bit of a compliment to Ravi, actually. He's too good opposition.

So you were frightened to go into the final with him?

Not frightened, I'll take anybody on, but he could get lucky.

Ravi, statistically, you were the worst player.

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

To get to Round Seven in that company was just amazing,

and to be up against an Egghead and a Mastermind

and the winner of the People's Quiz and both of them vote me off,

clearly because they thought I was some kind of threat, it's just kudos, really.

I'm amazed.

Round Eight.

So far, you've won £4,750.

In this round, there's 90 seconds,

but whatever you win will be trebled.

We'll start with the strongest link from the last round. That's Steph.

Let's play the Weakest Link.

Start the clock.

Steph, in mixed drinks, which boys' name follows brandy

in the name of a cocktail traditionally made from cognac,

chocolate liqueur and cream?

Alexander.

Correct. Chris, in astronomy, what E is the time for either

of the two times of year when day and night are of equal length?

Equinox.

Correct. Steph, in political memoirs, the 2011 book entitled

Back From The Brink: 1,000 Days At Number 11

was written by which former Chancellor?

Alistair Darling.

Correct. Chris, in children's characters, in Bob The Builder,

the scarecrow whose inventions usually cause chaos has what name?

Tatty or Spud?

Spud.

Correct. Steph, in maths, what is the positive square root of 81?

Nine.

Correct. Chris, in geography, what B is the English name

for the Asian capital city known locally as Krung Thep?

Bangkok.

Correct. Steph, in ornithology,

the fast-moving ground cuckoo that lives in the deserts

of the south-west United States is known as the road what?

Runner.

Correct. Chris, in musical history, sackbut and shagbolt

were English names for early forms of which instrument?

The trombone or the violin?

Trombone.

Correct. Steph, in cinema,

the actress Blythe Danner is the mother of which film star

who thanked her in an acceptance speech at the 1999 Oscars ceremony?

Gwyneth Paltrow.

-Correct.

-Bank.

-Chris, in jewellery.

END-OF-ROUND-JINGLE

OK, you've reached the target,

which we'll treble.

That gives you prize money today of £7,750. There can only be one winner.

Now up to five questions each.

If there's a tie, we'll go for sudden death.

So, Steph and Chris, for £7,750, let's play the Weakest Link.

Steph, as the strongest link in the last round,

you have the choice of who goes first.

I'd like Chris to go first, please.

Chris, a saying attributed to the humorist Miles Kington

states that knowledge is knowing that which food item is a fruit,

and that wisdom is not putting that item in fruit salads?

Tomato.

That is the correct answer.

Steph, in fiction, a woman usually called Jane Porter in books

and Jane Parker in film adaptations was the love interest,

and later the wife of which character

created by Edgar Rice Burroughs?

Tarzan.

That is the correct answer.

Chris, in theatre, the songs Red Shoes Blue, The Wonders Of The World

and Already Home by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber

feature on the 2011 West End cast recording of which musical?

Billy Elliot.

The correct answer is The Wizard Of Oz.

Steph, in astronomy,

which is the only major planet in the solar system of which

the common English name is not derived from classical mythology?

Earth.

That is the correct answer.

Chris, which biblical figure was the grandson of Methuselah

and lived to be 950 after surviving the extinction of all humankind

apart from his immediate family?

Noah.

That is the correct answer.

Steph, in pop music, the video to which UK hit single by Adele

features a dancing ninja, a pile of broken crockery and hundreds

of glasses of water vibrating to the drumbeat of the song?

Rolling In The Deep.

That is the correct answer.

Chris, in autobiographies, Walking To The South Pole,

Running The Sahara and Skating Across Sweden all feature

in The Accidental Adventurer, a 2011 memoir by which TV presenter?

Ben Fogle.

That is the correct answer.

Steph, in environmental slogans,

the three Rs used to remind people to use world resources

in a sustainable manner are Reduce, Reuse, and which other?

Recycle.

That is the correct answer.

Chris, in which Olympic seven-a-side indoor sport played on a court

measuring 40m x 20 is a team awarded a seven-metre throw

when a clear chance of scoring has been prevented illegally?

Basketball.

The correct answer is handball.

That means, Steph, you're today's strongest link,

and you go away with £7,750.

What are you going to do with the money?

I'd like it to go to the Cambridge Fund for the Prevention of Disease.

Chris, you leave with nothing.

I know.

Join us again for the Weakest Link. Goodbye.

Well done, Steph. You deserved it.

Sorry for the allusion to warships of a bygone age,

and the money'll do good where you're going to put it,

so good on you.

I'm really excited to have won the Weakest Link,

and I'm just so pleased that the money's going to go to

the Cambridge Fund for the Prevention of Disease.

They carry out research into cancer and multiple sclerosis,

and they are very, very poorly funded, and this is absolutely brilliant.

They could really do with the money.

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