Cymar Oes

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-Three couples, three weddings.

-At a time when fewer

-couples choose to get married...

-..why do some people still choose

-to marry a partner for life?

-We shall look at three

-different relationships.

-Rhys and Rhian got

-married in October 2010...

-..and are setting up

-their first home.

-Allan and Brenda Jones live

-in Llanllyfni near Caernarfon.

-They have been through a lot

-since their wedding 22 years ago.

-Noah and Nansi Miles have lived in

-the Ammanford and Garnswllt area...

-..all their lives.

-They're in their nineties and have

-been married for almost 67 years.

-Noah grew up in Cwm Cerdinen,

-near Garnswllt, Ammanford.

-It was at Betws YFC

-that he met his future wife.

-Nansi was there.

-I had been eyeing her up...

-..as we did in those days,

-from time to time!

-Once we started to chat,

-I wanted to see her all the time.

-I think she wanted

-to see me all the time too.

-That was it for me!

-We'd been together

-for about three years or so.

-We'd become such an item...

-..she said, "We must get married."

-She wasn't ARP, mind you,

-as they used to say.

-Do you know what ARP means?

-"Already pregnant." She wasn't!

-But it was quite cut and dried.

-This is a fine village.

-All the local people

-came to the chapel.

-The congregation sang at the

-wedding as if it was a cymanfa ganu.

-They sang well, fair play to them.

-They went to Aberystwyth

-for their honeymoon, in 1944...

-..before the end of World War II.

-We went for a fortnight...

-..or so we had planned.

-The weather was lovely,

-it was all wonderful.

-The weather was fine and sunny.

-But Noah was worried

-about harvesting the hay.

-I was very conscientious.

-You dare not miss a chance

-of haymaking.

-There's no second chance.

-We both decided to go home to help.

-We'd enjoy it better like that.

-It was quite different...

-..when Allan and Brenda met,

-in the late 1980s.

-The moment I saw her

-at the Majestic...

-..wearing a yellow outfit,

-with fairly long blonde hair...

-..she caught my eye.

-After some more Dutch courage...

-..I asked her to dance.

-That was our first evening together.

-Very romantic,

-in the rain in Caernarfon.

-I remember going out with the girls

-and ending up in the Majestic.

-We had a drink and danced,

-and I saw Allan with the lads.

-I said to myself,

-he's a good-looking bloke.

-I didn't think any more about it

-until he asked me out. I said yes.

-I had been married before.

-I had a son, Andrew.

-After meeting Allan,

-as time went on...

-..I told him

-I was divorced and had a child.

-He didn't mind.

-Andrew and I hit it off

-straight away...

-..from the first day we met.

-He's like my own son.

-He's accepted me as a father too.

-We were at home, on our own.

-I went down on one knee...

-..to ask her to marry me.

-I got the right answer.

-Maybe that's one

-of my most romantic gestures.

-We had a great day.

-It was a small wedding.

-It was quite early, at 10.30am

-in the Registry Office, Llangefni.

-Yes, I think it was

-love at first sight.

-We haven't been apart since then.

-Love at first sight,

-that's what it was.

-Rhys and Rhian have been

-married since October 2010.

-We weren't very friendly at first.

-We didn't work well together.

-We'd been working in the same place

-for about two years...

-..before starting dating.

-I was out with a crowd from work.

-We worked from 9-5

-for the Care Council.

-On Friday evening,

-we usually went out after work.

-We began to chat

-and got into an argument.

-We decided we had a lot in common.

-It wasn't love at first sight!

-But Rhian had an unexpected

-surprise on Christmas Day 2009.

-We went for a walk

-before Christmas dinner.

-We chatted about the area,

-the new house, our plans.

-When I looked back...

-..I saw Rhys down on one knee.

-He took the ring out of his pocket.

-I cried!

-I was shocked, but very happy

-that the moment had arrived.

-I said yes straight away.

-At the time, there was snow

-on the mountains and on the ground.

-It was very romantic, I thought.

-Thank goodness she said yes.

-I was very happy.

-They were married at Carreg Cennen

-Castle, near Carmarthen.

-It was a wonderful day.

-We couldn't have asked for more.

-It was a chance to see

-all our friends and family.

-Rhian looked so beautiful.

-It couldn't have been better.

-Our honeymoon was a Mediterranean

-cruise, starting in Rome.

-We had to reach Rome,

-but I'm scared of flying.

-I persuaded Rhys to go there

-by train, fair play to him.

-We caught the train to London

-in Swansea, then a train to Paris...

-..then a train from Paris to Rome.

-When we booked

-the cabin on the train...

-..there wasn't

-a two-person cabin left.

-We had to share with four others.

-It wasn't the most

-comfortable experience ever.

-But it might be worth it

-as Rhian is now willing to fly.

-Every honeymoon ends...

-..and everyday life resumes,

-which isn't always a bed of roses.

-Rhys is a policeman

-in Blaenau Ffestiniog.

-Only a few months

-after the wedding...

-..Rhian finds out what it means

-to be married to a policeman.

-It's very hard.

-When you're caught up

-in an incident at work...

-..all your focus

-is on what's happening.

-Obviously, if I'm late,

-I try to let her know.

-However, when a problem arises,

-there's hardly a chance to call her.

-I feel a bit selfish saying this.

-There's no time to think

-when I'm actually late.

-It was funny. At one time, we three

-sisters went out with policemen.

-It was a coincidence, they

-weren't policemen when we met them.

-I don't know if it's us

-who make them join the police force!

-Rhian is used to the situation.

-I think it's very important,

-with this job...

-..that one's partner understands.

-His wife hasn't seen him

-for over a week.

-We'll do a search in the Land Rover.

-We'll do a search in the Land Rover.

-

-Right.

-It's difficult.

-A meal might be on the table

-but he might not be home for hours.

-I worry about what he does at work.

-His work can be dangerous at times.

-I like that part of the work very

-much, not knowing what will happen.

-Rhian isn't so aware of it.

-I try to think, if she doesn't know,

-she cannot worry too much.

-It was an accident at work

-that caused Allan's suffering.

-Allan was working away at that time.

-It was quite hard,

-the boys were young.

-Carl was often ill.

-I wanted Allan to work near home...

-..but we couldn't afford

-to lose his salary.

-It was October 1st, 2009.

-I'd been delivering goods

-around London most of the evening.

-We were driving along the A1...

-..to pick up a load

-from an abattoir in Bedford.

-NEWS

-"A lorry driver has had

-to be cut free from his vehicle...

-"..after a collision

-with a fire engine."

-"The lorry driver

-from North Wales...

-"..suffered chest and leg injuries

-and was taken to hospital."

-When I went around a bend

-on the motorway...

-..there was a queue

-on the slip road.

-There was a fire engine

-in the slow lane of the motorway.

-I crashed into it...

-..at the last moment.

-I don't remember much after that.

-Allan had phoned in the morning.

-I told him to phone at 12.30am,

-in case I fell asleep.

-I had to get up for work.

-Allan hadn't phoned at 12.45am,

-so I rang his mobile phone.

-The police answered.

-I thought I'd got the wrong number,

-or he'd been stopped.

-But they said he'd been

-in a serious accident in London.

-I thought it wasn't too bad

-and asked if he was on his way home.

-The police said that it was unlikely

-that he'd be home tonight...

-..as he'd been in a major accident.

-I wounded both hands.

-The tendons and everything

-were badly injured.

-The tendons in my left leg...

-..and the cruciate ligament

-in both knees were in a bad way.

-I didn't expect

-that he'd be so poorly.

-I didn't think he'd get over it.

-He looked terrible, both legs

-and arms in plaster, and his face.

-He had deep cuts on his head.

-When we saw each other,

-we said we loved each other a lot...

-..and were glad to see each other.

-I'd been away all week too.

-I don't think either of us had

-ever been so glad to see the other.

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-These three couples have been,

-or hope to be, partners for life.

-Rhys and Rhian...

-..were only married

-a few months ago in October 2010.

-Allan and Brenda

-were married in 1989.

-They faced problems

-which they had to overcome.

-Noah and Nansi Miles

-from Garnswllt, near Ammanford...

-..have been married

-for almost 67 years.

-They were married

-during World War II...

-..and are still here

-to tell their story.

-The war years were the most popular

-ever for marriages in Britain.

-Everyday life

-was extremely different on the farm.

-A custom of that time

-which made it hard...

-..was that one member of the family

-was expected...

-..to stay at home

-to take care of the parents.

-Although Nansi had brothers...

-..she had to take care of them.

-And I had that role too at her side.

-Noah and Nansi brought up

-four daughters on the farm.

-It was a hard life, with only

-the occasional holiday in Porthcawl.

-No,

-we didn't have a lot of holidays.

-It was work all the time.

-That's what our life has been.

-Nansi was keen on one point

-in particular...

-..that the children would not go

-through what we'd been through.

-We'd give them a head start.

-I wanted a boy,

-but I didn't get one!

-It was funny, she liked girls.

-She was delighted

-each time a girl arrived.

-Neighbours would say,

-"What will Noah say, another girl?"

-I was a farmer but I didn't

-want them to stay on the farm.

-The farm wasn't big enough.

-It was a hill farm.

-Times were hard.

-Now in his nineties,

-life isn't any easier for Noah.

-Nansi had a stroke in 2008.

-She lost sensation

-on the left side of her body.

-But they're still

-happily living together.

-They won't let me drive her around,

-due to my age.

-I've driven all my life.

-I think I could drive,

-I've driven all over the country.

-But I'm too old now, so they say...

-..so say insurance companies.

-I can drive on my own but I'm not

-allowed to take Nansi with me.

-Noah's care for Nansi is constant.

-We have to watch that

-her arm doesn't slip down there.

-She could break her arm.

-There you are.

-The first test of our relationship

-was me moving to North Wales.

-Rhian stayed in the south.

-It was very hard for a while,

-travelling a lot...

-..and only seeing each other

-at weekends, or even less often.

-But what matters

-is that we came through that time.

-We're still together.

-In years to come, I'm sure

-there will be other hurdles.

-But if we're together...

-..we can talk to each other

-and support one another.

-That's what really matters.

-Allan had taken responsibility

-for Brenda and her first child.

-But then

-they faced further trials.

-Andrew had spent a lot of time

-in hospital before we met.

-From birth, his kidneys and bladder

-were damaged...

-..and he had surgery and treatment

-when he was three years old.

-He had to go back

-to hospital at the age of three...

-..to remove the rest of the kidney.

-Seven years later,

-her second son, Carl, was born.

-He was born a month premature.

-Doctors said...

-..that neither he nor Brenda

-would live more than 24 hours.

-It was a shock,

-to think I could lose both of them.

-They got through that, but then

-they discovered that Carl was deaf.

-Having a sick child already...

-.then find that another

-had problems too was hard to bear.

-It was stressful for everyone.

-Brenda was lumbered with it all.

-I wasn't at home either.

-Brenda had to cope

-with all the work.

-She had to take the brunt

-of the suffering at home.

-I think you find strength somehow,

-to carry on.

-A lot of strength comes

-from sheer determination, I feel.

-And from the heart, I'm sure.

-Since the accident in 2009...

-..Allan's own moods

-have been unpredictable.

-He's up and down a lot. I think

-I've been stronger than Allan.

-I've had to be strong for Allan.

-I don't think Allan would have

-got up from his chair at one time.

-But I said he had to get up

-and move around a bit.

-It's hard mentally, in particular.

-As I can't do anything...

-..not even carry a coal bucket.

-Brenda has to do everything for me.

-That's hard...

-..not being able to help at all.

-The feelings are still the same...

-..mine for Allan.

-I'm sure Allan feels the same.

-It's just that the accident

-has taken its toll on Allan.

-It's been stressful for us all.

-We're working through it.

-Brenda has been

-so supportive of me...

-..she's shown more support

-than I could ever give her.

-She's been strong through it all.

-He might get a light job.

-I don't think he could do heavy

-work or long-distance driving.

-I don't think many people...

-..go through what we've been through

-and in a relatively short time.

-Luckily, it doesn't happen often.

-The greatest gift I could buy...

-..would never be enough to thank her

-for what she's done and still does.

-He doesn't owe me anything.

-The greatest gift I've had is

-that he's alive and still with us.

-That's better than any gift.

-Love has played a major part.

-A husband and wife should take care

-of each other at times like these.

-Nansi Miles celebrated

-her 90th birthday recently.

-Her love for her husband

-is as strong as ever.

-But is there another reason

-they've stayed together for so long?

-We're very similar.

-Our parents were very similar.

-Her father...

-..was a musician, like my father.

-I could rely on her.

-I feel that maybe

-I haven't shown her enough respect.

-I really do.

-We do look to the future.

-We have an idea

-of what we want to do in the future.

-But as we've found out,

-life doesn't always go to plan.

-I think it's important...

-..that you're willing to go along

-with the choices that were made.

-I hope, in the future,

-to have a family.

-I feel

-that it's important to both of us.

-We're both traditionalists, really.

-A year after Allan's accident...

-..the insurance company

-stopped paying the mortgage.

-The fear of having to sell

-their home was yet another burden.

-If we lost the house and lived

-in a caravan, it wouldn't matter.

-What really matters

-is to be together, isn't it, Al?

-Yes. It wouldn't matter

-if we lived in a caravan.

-That's what we've said all along.

-We kept saying that we had each

-other and that was what mattered.

-Other factors are important

-but our love hasn't changed.

-Yes.

-Why have these three couples

-chosen a partner for life?

-Why have we lasted so long?

-A lot of it is love, I think.

-Maybe Brenda has had

-a lot of patience with me too.

-Love is the crucial factor.

-I think marriage is important.

-We were brought up

-to try and help each other.

-I wouldn't change

-Allan for the world.

-I hope we'll have

-another twenty years together.

-As they say,

-in sickness and in health.

-We've certainly been through that.

-We've certainly been through that.

-

-Yes.

-Allan has been a good husband

-and a good father to the boys.

-I'll love him always

-and I'll love him forever.

-Love for each other.

-Love...

-..no-one can describe it.

-Being married is the fort

-that holds everything together.

-In 50 years, I don't think much will

-have changed between Rhys and me.

-I hope we'll still be together in

-our slippers in front of the fire...

-..but with our family

-around us in our home.

-Even if we'd ever parted,

-we'd have got back together.

-We couldn't live

-without one another, as we do now.

-Love for each other.

-S4C Subtitles by Gwead

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