Pobol: Chris Needs

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-# In the garden

-# In the garden

-# That's where I meet

-my special friends

-# Where fun begins and never ends

-# Helping one another,

-doing things for charity

-# Chris Needs's friendly garden... #

-Now then, now then, pop pickers,

-not 'alf.

-Good evening and welcome.

-Chris Needs it is, hello!

-It's the hunk of the south. Hey-ho!

-Five nights a week, Chris Needs

-connects with his loyal audience...

-..the people in the friendly garden.

-There are thousands of them,

-in Wales and beyond...

-..from America to Australia.

-If they're ill, they phone me.

-If someone close to them has died,

-they phone me.

-I remember someone phoning up

-and saying, "My wife died today."

-I thought, "Hang on,

-I'm just a record-putter-onner."

-They trust me.

-And they like me, thank goodness!

-I like them too.

-People phone in their hundreds

-every night.

-Twice a week, Gabriel,

-Chris's partner, answers the phones.

-Is it your birthday tomorrow?

-Oh, 37 is a funny age for a woman.

-I know that, love!

-I wish you a fantastic day tomorrow.

-No.

-No, I can't sing until I'm better.

-Right now,

-Chris is the one who needs help.

-I'm on my way up to Harley Street

-in London to see a specialist.

-I hope he can help me. I hope so.

-It's been terrible.

-I've lost six and a half stone

-in eight weeks.

-So, it's been quite a shock

-to be honest.

-I felt pain in my neck initially.

-I thought, "That's all I need

-in a job where I have to talk!"

-It deteriorated.

-Then my mouth was full of ulcers

-and I couldn't speak or eat.

-I knew something was wrong.

-I'm hoping this boy

-is like a magician.

-They help me a lot - the garden.

-It's like payback time for me.

-Usually, I try and help them

-but now, they're helping me.

-They send me cards, emails...

-everything.

-Letters.

-Life mail from New Zealand.

-35 for a jar of honey, every week.

-Sorry, it hurts when I speak.

-It is difficult to speak.

-We're down in Porthcawl,

-in Chris Needs's caravan.

-The love boat. I don't think so!

-Gabe and I come down here to hide.

-We've just reopened it

-after the winter.

-Throw out the old tomato ketchup

-and bring the new one in.

-Switch the water back on.

-There's a lot to do.

-There's no dishwasher.

-I have to wash the dishes

-like my mother used to do.

-I like coming down here a lot.

-It's my hiding place.

-People don't bother me -

-I can be on my own.

-I have two microwave ovens here.

-Ping-ping meals.

-Nice. Under the spotlight again.

-Do you like it? It suits me.

-Stuff for Buster here.

-The television is over here.

-I don't drink at all. No way, Jose.

-I never drink.

-But... voila!

-Who wants a Bloody Mary?

-I'm going to make the beds.

-Gabe's mother's coming down to stay.

-Clean bedlinen.

-I end up doing it usually.

-I do everything.

-Cooking, everything.

-Ping-ping meals every time.

-I use the slow cooker

-to cook stews.

-Chris will always find something

-to do with gadgets.

-He'd much rather have a new gadget

-to play with or sort out.

-If he can't get it working,

-then he'll come to me.

-And here I am, on the throne.

-Who said queen?

-We eat a lot of takeaways here.

-I like curries in front

-of the television. Dancing On Ice.

-Toast!

-This toaster's knackered.

-It's like waiting for a bus here,

-waiting for the toaster.

-Come on.

-Ah.

-It's hard to eat.

-Porridge again.

-According to Chris, this is

-the "land of the moving curtains".

-Cwmavon, where he was raised.

-Mam, Dad, the brothers and me.

-I'm the eldest brother.

-I was the only one,

-my mother's favourite.

-I was the one who had piano lessons,

-I would compete in eisteddfodau.

-I was coached

-in Mathematics and Drama.

-I was the one.

-I remember in school.

-"And now, Christopher Needs

-is going to play the piano.

-"And now Christopher Needs

-is going to do something else."

-I'd like to go back to that time.

-Today, you can't go there, you

-can't do this, you can't say that.

-Back in the day, when I was young,

-I remember going to the shop.

-"Ten fags for Mami, please."

-The school in Cwmavon, I loved it.

-I loved Mrs Bailey, my teacher.

-She helped me with music big time.

-I had huge problems, ginormous

-problems down in the comprehensive.

-I hated the place.

-It all changed.

-Everyone took the mick.

-"Hello, gay boy."

-I remember the prefects saying,

-"We don't sell Vaseline."

-That's all I had

-throughout my school days.

-I hated that school in Port Talbot.

-The scars run deep

-and Chris was abused at a young age.

-That man did terrible things to me.

-It started

-when I was five years old.

-I remember him saying,

-"We're going up to pick wimberries."

-We didn't pick any wimberries.

-He'd say, "Behave yourself

-and you'll have ice cream."

-I remember him saying,

-"Don't you tell your parents.

-"You'll go to Borstal

-for being a queer."

-I was so scared.

-When I was 13, it stopped.

-I said,

-"This can't go on any longer.

-"I'm going to tell the police."

-And then he died

-so I couldn't say anything really.

-I moved away and lived

-on the continent for 20 years...

-..because I couldn't stand it here.

-I worked in piano bars,

-playing the piano and singing.

-I remember an old millionairess

-from America saying...

-.."Play Misty for me, baby."

-She'd give me hundred dollar bills.

-I thought, "Ooh, I like it here."

-I was working in Puerto Banus,

-Estepona and Gibraltar.

-Fantastic.

-I started playing the piano

-at the age of five...

-..with Mrs May Williams.

-I played the organ in chapel.

-I then moved down to the town

-to be taught by Mrs Ida Jenkins.

-I studied for an A Level

-and a Doctorate.

-Then I went straight

-to Bonnie Tyler.

-I had the opportunity to go up to

-work in London, in Covent Garden...

-..but pop music was calling me.

-This is where I performed

-for the first time.

-In front of a congregation.

-No mistakes.

-Miss May Williams

-was in the audience, tuning in.

-I had to be note perfect.

-Of course,

-Mam was sitting there too.

-She was so proud.

-# Rachie #

-There's an echo.

-# Ombersley #

-Yes, I think so. Big time.

-I like it here,

-it suits me being here.

-I want to be a preacher.

-I remember Mam

-sitting right at the back.

-Mam asked me

-to play something uplifting...

-..when the collection trays

-came around.

-# Is This the Way to Amarillo? #

-I was sitting

-at the organ playing Amarillo!

-Mam was a comedian.

-She wanted to make people laugh.

-She wanted to be part of things.

-We were inseparable - bread and jam,

-like Bonnie and Clyde.

-We weren't like a mother and son.

-We were like friends, really.

-She was perfect for me, really.

-It's strange, being here.

-It is strange.

-I feel young in here.

-I don't know if I like it

-to be honest. It's spooky!

-Very spooky.

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-When Dad finished work,

-he had a superannuation...

-..so Mam bought this shop with it.

-Then, Dad bought

-the fish-and-chip shop opposite.

-We were the Ewings of Cwmavon.

-Today, Chris spends

-most of his time back in Cwmavon.

-The grocer's shop has reopened,

-next door to Chris's charity shop.

-Gabe runs the shop nowadays.

-I gave the shop to Gabe...

-..my partner.

-I went out to buy lettuce

-and I found him!

-I remember being in Jersey.

-I had a drink, I was only 18.

-I fell asleep on the bed

-just like that.

-I remember waking up and a girl

-was straddling my stomach...

-..kissing me.

-I said,

-"Get off, I'll tell my mother."

-I phoned my mother and said,

-"Mam, a girl's kissing me."

-"Tell her to sling her hook.

-Find a nice man with a nice job."

-He's out the back now,

-the man with the job.

-We've been together for 20 years.

-He means everything to me.

-He's a lot nicer than me.

-People love Gabe.

-It's sort of hit and miss with me.

-I can hide on the radio...

-..but not here,

-you're on stage here.

-You have to be polite,

-"Hello, how are you?"

-I've always known.

-I remember Ray Gravell asking me.

-"Chris Needs..." He was so animated

-and excited when he spoke.

-"Oh, Chris Needs!"

-He asked me one day, "Chris Needs,

-since when have you been a poofter!

-"From the start

-or did you pick it up on the way?"

-"Ray," I said,

-"It's not a language."

-"Since when have you been

-a poofter!"

-Very camp. Like Dolores Delargo.

-I remember buying a rubber suit.

-Mam would say,

-"Oh, Chris looks elegant in rubber."

-You didn't have to iron it.

-People would ask, "How many

-children have you got, Margaret?"

-"Three - one of each."

-She'd always say that.

-It didn't bother Mam at all.

-I was right,

-everyone else was wrong.

-I always wanted to be on stage.

-Every lunchtime,

-she'd shut up shop at 1.00pm.

-For the next hour, a special variety

-concert was held in the front room.

-Chris's next concert

-is in Swansea's Grand Theatre...

-..to raise money

-for diabetes charities.

-I was meant to be

-like Bruce Forsyth.

-"Nice game, now then, now then."

-Chris Needs & Friends

-is the name of the show.

-I play the piano.

-I tell jokes and perform sketches.

-The South Wales Gay Men's Chorus

-are on stage too.

-I want to sing, if my voice is OK...

-..How Do You Solve a Problem

-Like I'm Queer?

-People love nonsense!

-Today, Chris has more

-serious matters on his mind.

-He's had dozens of ulcers

-in his throat.

-He's worried about his future

-and is on his way to Harley Street.

-My friend, Carole Rees-Jones,

-is a singer.

-She's a very special friend.

-He's like the brother I never had.

-It's great to talk to him -

-we like the same things.

-We do like the same things. Men!

-Behind the humour,

-there is concern...

-..but the doctor's appointment

-isn't for another two hours.

-Time for Chris and Carole

-to have some retail therapy.

-My favourite sport is shopping.

-Thank you.

-Chris has been a diabetic for years.

-He's well known for raising money

-for diabetes research.

-He can call on his

-showbiz friends to help out.

-Large? Are you a large?

-Oh, shit.

-Soon, he'll perform

-in another concert.

-In the meantime,

-the results from the specialist.

-I'm glad to be out. Heavens above.

-Well... Yes, very well, thanks.

-It's alright. I'm coming back

-in a fortnight, again.

-I have a problem with

-my vocal chords after the ulcers.

-I also have thrush.

-There's a scar.

-But he said,

-"Shut up, stop talking!"

-Sorry, I'm off now.

-That'll take some doing!

-I'm going back to Paddington.

-A week before the show...

-..Chris collects his costumes

-for the stage from his camper van.

-Motor-homo!

-It's like a mobile dressing room.

-A Tardis!

-It's all in here.

-A shower, bunks, a cooker.

-A television, computer, everything.

-Great. It's a big boy's toy.

-I also have a boat.

-That's nice.

-My stage clothes are in here.

-Look!

-I don't know if they fit me now.

-It's 46"...

-..44" chest instead of a 54" chest.

-I've lost so much weight.

-Most of my clothes don't fit me.

-These are off to the cleaners

-and away to go.

-My friends are helping me out

-big time this time.

-People can see Rebecca Evans,

-Mark Llewellyn Evans...

-..Wynne Evans, Simon Bowman...

-..Bruce Anderson, me,

-everyone for a tenner.

-It only costs 10.

-It's like the workingman's opera.

-Well, I hope the artistes

-are on their way.

-There's been an accident on the M4.

-Someone's going to be an hour late.

-The boys are coming -

-the South Wales Gay Men's Chorus.

-Here they are. Hello, boys! Hey-ho.

-Hello!

-I am excited. I am excited.

-I'm excited for the charity.

-I'm excited just to meet the people.

-It's a party

-with all the artistes backstage.

-It's like a fantastic party.

-I make certain that everybody sings

-the right songs at the right time.

-It's not stage managing...

-..but I make certain they get

-the right tracks in the right order.

-In an ideal world, if I could...

-..I'd like Gethsemane,

-Bring Him Home and the duet.

-Those are your big three shows.

-It's up to you.

-It's up to you.

-

-If you don't mind.

-Are you playing it, Gabe?

-Are you playing it, Gabe?

-

-It's playing.

-It's a duet.

-Mandy Starr and Simon Bowman.

-# Sing once again with me

-# Our strange duet

-# My power over you #

-Oh, jeez Louise!

-Oh, from the West End.

-From the West End. Simon Bowman.

-Hello, darling.

-Hello, darling.

-

-Hello, love.

-We've ironed out the problems.

-Hopefully,

-it'll go more smoothly tonight.

-They'll never know out front,

-they never do.

-Uh, excuse me.

-How do we get the piano to work?

-Plug it in!

-Half an hour left. We have

-half an hour left to rehearse.

-Piano or music?

-Well, piano.

-I spoke to...

-I spoke to...

-

-Rebecca.

-No problems then.

-I'll leave you to it then.

-They're talking about Rachmaninov.

-I'm off!

-Rachmaninov - I'm off!

-I'm getting better.

-Slowly. A centimetre a week!

-As Gabe said,

-"I thought you were going to die."

-I remember Gabe staying up all

-night, sitting next to the bed...

-..looking after me.

-I am getting better.

-I just hope everything goes OK.

-Five minutes to go.

-I need to pee.

-Do I look slim?

-Hello, Swansea! Hello.

-Good evening!

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

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