Episode 1 Shoplife

This programme contains some strong language

Thousands of shop assistants under one roof.

Du-du-du!

They're young...

-Just call us Jordan.

-..they're Geordie...

Got to check myself out in the mirror. Sorted.

..and they work in retail.

Hot, man. I'm the employee of the month.

This is their story.

No, stop, please.

Starring...

I do a bit of the blue steel.

..a male model in menswear

and a designer-boutique fashionista.

I'm not a materialistic person but

I do like to have materialistic things.

A starry-eyed sushi waitress.

Ding-ding-ding-a-ling.

And a doughnut maker extraordinaire.

I think my maximum is about

26 original glazed in one day.

A skater-boy ladies' man.

HE GROANS

And a high-end chocolate aficionado.

Do you want a free chocolate from

Bold Bunny today?

BABY SCREAMS

Bringing them together, we follow their highs...

Drink o'clock!

-..and their lows.

-I'm pissed off.

As they juggle the pressures of work life...

Trying my best to work my way. I don't feel I'm getting anywhere.

-At the moment it's so hard to make a sale.

-..with their love lives.

I don't want a boyfriend, don't need a boyfriend.

Dicks, dicks everywhere!

This is what it's like being young...

I think the only thing I'm going to pull tonight is my muscles.

-..having fun...

-Ohh! That is vile.

..and trying to get up for work next morning.

Joseph, open your eyes.

Yo.

Welcome to retail therapy like you've never seen it before.

Tonight, 18-year-old Abbie is desperate for a promotion.

I literally have no money left.

I normally get Estee Lauder make-up

and I've had to go to high street make-up.

Skateboard fanatic Joey's in big trouble - again.

We're not paying you to be in the back all week. You need to think for yourself.

Stop giving me the ammunition to give you a bollocking.

And sushi waitress Helen's chasing her dream to be a model.

Oh, lordy lord. Look at the lights, oh, Jesus Christ!

-I want to see my mam.

-But do her mates from the mall approve?

Keep your tits in your bra cos glamour models are dogs.

They are dogs.

Monday morning at the Metrocentre - and the start of another busy day

as the mall opens its doors to 70,000 shoppers

on the hunt for bargains.

Though it's unlikely they'll find cheap deals in designer boutique

Van Mildert, where today is delivery day.

More bags.

For part-time sales assistant and fashionista Abbie, it's the day of the month to die for.

SHE GASPS

Oh, there might be some handbags!

When I got the job first I was like, "I work in Van Mildert!"

Do you know what I mean?

Obviously the stuff that we sell - it is brilliant.

My mum was like - "Whoa, you've got a job in Van Mildert?"

And so were all my friends.

Ooh!

Oh, actually, I quite like these purses.

-Ah, I really like them.

-With accessories up to £300 a go,

on Abbie's minimum wage of £4.98 per hour this pocket-sized bag

will take some saving up for.

For me to buy one of these I would have to work like...

I wouldn't even be able to say it.

Cos I'm absolutely terrible at maths but I would have to work a lot.

Oh, my God, the bag goes with the Michael Kors watch you can get.

How lush are they?

I really want it!

Abbie does get 1% commission on all her sales

so she makes it her mission to sell as much as possible.

This one looks more... Like, you know? More roomy than the other one.

It's gorgeous. It's a gorgeous little theme they've got going on.

It'd be no good if you were to buy your Barbour off the Internet.

But, despite her best efforts, Abbie still takes home

just over £100 a week -

which barely covers her nail-bar costs.

Payday - I hate it, like.

You wait for it all month and then it's gone within a week

and it isn't even because I've got bills to pay.

It's sort of like...

I just...I cannot handle my spending, I'm terrible,

really, really bad.

# Hail, Mary, full of grace

# Smack the bitch in the face Take her Gucci bag. #

So, to pay for all the make-up, acrylics, extensions -

all the essentials -

Abbie desperately needs a pay rise which only comes with promotion.

Obviously, if the opportunity arises - say if a supervisor role arose -

I would be in there. I would try my hardest to get it.

And I know I would be good as a supervisor.

For now, Abbie will have to lead an It-girl lifestyle

on Saturday-girl wages.

I need to go on my dinner break - I'm going shopping.

With her shift over, Abbie meets best mate from the mall Evie

in their regular haunt - the Metrocentre's champagne bar.

The money that I'm getting, Eve... I'm not even getting full-time hours and I literally can't live off it.

I want to be starting to drive and stuff and like...

Off how much I get a month, it barely covers living costs,

barely covers going out every weekend.

And, like, my make-up and getting new extensions every month.

Like, going clothes shopping constantly.

You know I've always been like that.

-I'm not a materialistic person but I do like to have materialistic things.

-Yeah.

And I've always been like that and at the moment

I literally cannot afford - I literally have no money left.

I normally get Estee Lauder make-up

but I've had to go to high-street make-up.

And I know that that sounds really, like, shallow and stuff...

-But it's what you want.

-It's bloody upsetting.

-Yeah.

Like, it feels like, "Is this really what your life's coming to, Abbie? Is this really what's happening?"

If the opportunity was there I would literally stick my acrylics in it

and grab it.

I would just say to them, "I need...

-"to survive, more than what you're offering."

-I do.

It's no good sitting here and saying it, like.

-You need to go and do it.

-I know. I'm going to. I'm going to.

Right, pinkie promise?

Materialistic or not,

Abbie's determined to upgrade her accessories budget.

But will she be able to get the promotion she needs?

It's two minutes to ten and racing to get to work on time

is 19-year-old skater dude Joey Barron.

Yo, Jamie.

Joey works at the mall's alternative mecca Skate Shack.

It's a job that comes with plenty of perks

and getting first refusal on all the latest gear is one.

Ah, here, mate, have you seen this?

I'm going to have to buy some of these!

Ah, them are wicked.

I think Joey's in here for the friends and...

-The friends and the clothes.

-Yeah. For the staff discount.

-Aye.

But the biggest benefit of all is when the store owner is

working from home and the skater boys get the run of the place.

You're going to do it now.

Working at the Skate Shack really does pass the time cos

you've got your mates there, all just cracking on, having a laugh.

Du-du-du!

Take the mick out of each other.

The general crack of the day is good so you enjoy coming in to work.

The time flies over that you're normally there.

But when the boss does arrive, the messing around stops.

Just check them off on that, do you reckon, or just write them out?

When Lee comes in everybody is just like...on their guard straight away.

I'm just saying - why do we have such crap lying around?

That's normally...

If he sees someone slacking a bit he'll come down on them

like a ton of bricks.

It's just boxes of rubbish everywhere. Get that up in there.

-Move that along, get these down here, Joe.

-Yeah.

-Get them shoved down there and sort out there.

-Not a problem.

And even when he's not there, Joey's boss has ways of keeping

the boys on their toes.

The owner of the Shack's got CCTV all over the shop.

It's all wired up to his house, apart from in this stockroom -

this is the blind spot.

It does really make you feel paranoid that if you stand

around not doing something he'll ring the shop and get on your case.

And it's even just paranoid...if you want to

pick your nose he's going to sit there and watch you pick your nose.

In Skate Shack, Big Brother is everywhere

so Joey needs to watch his step as he's already had a few run-ins.

There's been a few petty incidents, which isn't much.

Like coming in four minutes late. Like, I got a written warning for that.

HE MOUTHS

HE LAUGHS

DOG BARKS

When he's not dodging his boss or the CCTV, Joey lives at home with

his mam Justine and dog Storm.

But he dreams of getting his own place soon.

He knows I would never want him to leave home, I'd want him

to stay here for ever cos he's my bairn.

How old do you think it's appropriate for me to move out?

How old do you think I should be?

40.

LAUGHTER

Justine's unable to work due to illness.

So Joey's the only wage earner in the house.

Yeah, I had me own business as a hairdresser years ago.

Unfortunately, due to my health reasons, erm...

with this degeneration disease I can't do that trade any more.

With his sick mam relying on him

Joey needs to keep out of trouble at work or risk losing the family home.

I'm helping me mam with money by giving her £30 a week board.

It's not much but...

it helps. I would just love to tell me boss to stick it - who wouldn't? But it's...

..a fine line of needing it and wanting it, like.

I need it.

There's nothing I can do to change that unless I get lucky or...

..a miracle.

MUSIC: "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida

Stuck on minimum wage and high-street make-up,

Abbie's money woes are getting even worse.

At the moment this is the skintest I've been, like, ever.

Like, ever, ever, ever.

To convince her boss she's ready for promotion,

ambitious Abbie needs to boost her sales figures.

Ted Baker's got a couple of nice ones there.

Even if it means telling a pregnant woman what she wants to hear -

that her bump really will look good in a tight dress.

D'you know what it is? When you're pregnant, the best thing to do

is wear something more tight, believe it or not.

Because if you wear something puffy out you'll look like you're hiding it.

Exactly.

It looks like I've got two back boobs and two front ones, man!

Don't look as if you're big. You can tell you're pregnant.

-I like this one.

-Do you like it? I'm glad I brought that one down, then.

-Abbie's compliments pay off as she closes the deal.

-Bye.

Happy. Very good. Pat on the back for Abbs.

After a year in retail, Abbie's confident she's ready to be

a full-time supervisor.

And over dinner she discusses her next step with mam Jane.

-I am at a supervisor's level.

-Hmm.

I've got initiative, I can think on my feet, I can work with people.

-Do you know what I mean?

-You have got potential to be more.

-Mmm. Mmm!

-You might.

-I don't want to go to uni.

-You're going to uni.

-No, I don't want to. Mam, honestly, who isn't going to uni?

When it comes to a couple of years down the line

when everyone finishes, who isn't going to have a degree?

-Hmm.

-And they're all going to come out of uni and not get a job.

And, what would I have done at uni?

When I went into business management, would I be able to probably be in three years anyway?

Whilst making money and not getting myself into debt?

I think so.

I don't wake up thinking, "Oh, for...! Work, I hate it."

I don't. Obviously I wish it was more benefiting us,

as in, like, pay and stuff like that.

-If I went to college I probably would've been able to do better.

-Hmm.

Down in the mall's Food Quarter, new Japanese restaurant Ikuze

has been convincing Geordies to eat sushi for the past six months.

And I've also got a prawn rice.

And although 22-year-old Helen can't stand the thought of raw fish herself,

when she heard Ikuze were hiring she jumped at the chance of joining the team.

Three Diet Cokes...

I think cos I was out of work for about a year

when I got told I'd got the job I nearly started crying.

The only thing I dislike is working ten-hour shifts.

That's the bit that kills you the most.

And even though she doesn't know her sushi from her sashimi...

-Ding-ding-ding-a-ling.

-..Helen's proved a big hit with the regulars.

There you go.

All the customers go, "Where's that girl with the red hair?

"Oh, she's lush!

"Where's the girl with the red hair? Like mermaid. Where's mermaid gone?"

You're Not going out till tonight so it's all right. Plus, ice cream doesn't really fill you.

-I hope not.

-Hope not. Just don't eat the leaves and you'll be all right!

-Enjoy.

-But, like many waitresses,

Helen has ambitions of the limelight that go way beyond her day job.

I'd love to be a model.

I was a child model when I was younger.

I did a few bits for ASDA and Sunny Delight and things like that.

You get some people who hide away in the corner, don't want their

picture took whereas me even if I've got no make-up on it doesn't matter.

Me and me mam's looked into it a few times

but it's not knowing the route to go down.

You don't know who to speak to, what to do about it

but modelling definitely.

I'd love to be a model.

Today, Helen's heard about a casting call for the Metrocentre's

annual fashion show and as soon as the chance of stardom beckons,

she's straight on the phone to her mam.

-'Hiya.'

-I've just seen this thing advertised at the Metrocentre.

-You know that fashion show I was going to do a few years ago?

-'Ah, right, yes.'

I'm thinking about doing it but...I don't know if I should or not.

-'Definitely. Why not?'

-I was really nervous.

-'I've been nagging you for years!'

-Will you come with us?

-'Yeah, course I will.'

-Right, OK.

'Finally, you're doing something you've got potential to do.'

-Thank you.

-'Bye.'

-Bye.

-'Woo!'

SHE LAUGHS

She went "Woo!" at the end.

Right, OK.

With the chance of swapping katsu curry for catwalk fame

on the horizon, Helen heads to the champagne bar to share

the news with her mates from the mall.

-Hi!

-Hang on, she's left her pants.

-I have, no, I cut them.

LAUGHTER

Jon, I've gone blind!

David, who works in one of the mall's clothes shops,

is also a part-time model so Helen makes a beeline to pick his brains.

Is that what you want to do professionally?

I used to do modelling when I was a kid and then I moved on to

kind of school and I didn't have time to do it

and that's why I quit and that's why I'm thinking about going back now.

-Give it a go.

-I've looked at them all...

The photographic ones, I've looked at the catwalk, I've looked at the glamour.

I think I fit more with the promotional and photographic than I do with catwalk.

-Catwalk - I think you've got to get used to the walk.

-Yeah.

If you do the walk over and over then you'll be able to do it.

Like you said, at least you're trying.

You never know what they're looking for.

There might be professionals there but you might have the thing

they're looking for on the day, you know what I mean?

-189.99 there, please.

-In the Skate Shack, the boss is out

but it's brisk business for Joey and the boys.

And being single, Joey's keeping his eye out for a particular type of customer.

-Oh, look at that there!

-There you go.

Some of the girls that come into the shop, some are really nice.

I suppose you'll stretch and do a scooter job you're not supposed to do or something,

just so you can like,

"Aye, come back here and I'll look after you." That kind of thing.

Yeah! Not a problem.

And you can always tell if they're into you cos...

they'll walk around the shop and then they'll look at you

and you'll make eye contact

and when they're leaving the shop they'll always turn round

and make eye contact again and that's how you know you're in.

Back at home and still with girls on his mind,

lady-lover Joey is grooming himself for a night on the pull.

I only started doing this since I got a tattoo on my chest.

I wouldn't dream of doing it otherwise

but what's the point in getting one

if you're not going to be able to see it sitting under loads of hair.

Oh, no!

Hey, lads, are we going to pull some fucking birds or what?

-Some blokes, aye.

-Some blokes for ye! Some blokes for ye!

The only thing you're going to pull is a magpie with that fucking nest!

And even on a Monday night, in Newcastle there's always

somewhere to hit the booze and the girls.

Women are looking great, looking fine.

Drinks are flowing, the guys are having a good laugh.

Erm, everybody's up for it tonight.

Getting a lot of nice looks tonight.

Might be in with a chance, might not be but, yeah, man, it's all going great.

Next morning and it seems Joey had an unexpected detour on his way home.

Really in pain today, like.

Fragile, fragile man.

Ended up pulling some girl. Erm...

Sort of didn't go home empty-handed in the end!

And Joey's got some battle scars from his romantic encounter.

My shoulder's, like, really bad.

HE LAUGHS

I didn't think a woman could do that to anybody, not possible.

She must have been a reet dog.

Eww, she must have been like an animal. Eurgh!

Dirty, dirty dog.

I did, honestly - I thought he had been chinned.

-Hello, son. Did you have a good neet last neet?

-Aye. Why, aye.

-Look a bit worse for wear.

-Oh, here...

"Oh, here! Oh, here! Oh, here!"

As long as you were safe and you were happy and a you had a good night, that's all that matters.

I just hope she was worth it!

SHE LAUGHS

Dirty dog.

6am and arriving for his shift at the mall is Mr Sweet Tooth

and doughnut processor Jon.

Morning.

Morning.

Jon's not complaining about the early start

as hour after hour of making Krispy Kreme doughnuts more than

makes up for it.

Working here is a marriage made in heaven.

Let's put it this way - my waistline has certainly expanded

since working here.

And what would you like there? Millionaire's shortbread?

A praline fudge cake?

'This job definitely is a dream come true for me.'

I remember going down to London

when Krispy Kreme first opened and it being the most amazing thing ever.

A cookie crunch? The strawberry gloss, yeah?

So, as soon as I found out about this place opening up I was like, "I have to have a job here."

It's a bit like being a kid in a candy store.

MUSIC: "Oh Yeah" by Yello

Usually I tend to have a doughnut for my breakfast. I know it's naughty but

erm, they are just there, to be fair.

This is my selection of probably my top seven.

Oh...

I don't know which one to go for.

I'll go for the Millionaire's.

Mmm, that's so good.

Mmm, especially when you've been staring at them for so long.

Right, which one's next?

This is my favourite bit of it - you get the lemon meringue moustache.

I might be good. I might stop there.

I'll just have a bit of the orange gloss,

then I think I'll leave it at that.

I'm going to be a total pig.

I think a maximum within a day...

I think it was about 26 original glazed in one day...

And that's not trying to do a challenge -

that's just because they were there.

Hmm.

But, despite having doughnuts on tap,

the job's not all sweetness and light.

5p change and your receipt there.

'My hours aren't quite steady, that's the only downfall.'

John's on a zero-hour contract, which means there's no

guarantee of how many hours of doughnut making he'll get each week.

Six and...

seven, so about 13 hours next week.

Erm...

Not exactly happy about the hours, obviously.

'Obviously, I've got bills to pay for and, with the lack of hours,

'it does mean that there's then money worries at home.'

And on a zero-hour contract, even when you're on a shift,

your time in doughnut heaven can get cut short at a moment's notice.

-Hey, baby.

-What?

-Do you fancy having the rest of the day off?

-The rest of the day off?

-Yeah.

It's proper quiet downstairs and I need to try and save some pennies.

-Cos the thing is...

-I was going to say...

I was going to ask Lori. You've got five shifts - she's only got four.

Yeah.

So, the extra few hours I had got I have now lost...

But that's just what it's like here, unfortunately.

There's less than four weeks till the mall's annual fashion show

and, for sushi waitress Helen,

it could be her big chance to relaunch her career as a model.

She's got to impress the modelling scouts

at today's catwalk auditions...

OK. That will do for now.

..and her mam's come along to support her.

Just ignore. Just ignore. Just ignore, please.

Got to check myself out in the mirror.

Yeah, sorted.

Ha-ha! Sorted.

Sorted! It's better than looking like a tramp in Uggs,

like I usually do.

But not quite everything is "sorted".

Helen's bought new high heels for the occasion and they don't fit.

These shoes just...

I'm going to ask them for advice

when I get there cos they're too big.

-If you look at the back of them.

-Heel grips.

Look at the back of them.

-Yeah, they're falling off your feet.

-I know. I can't walk.

I'm just going to tell them

I've got a slight problem that I can't walk in these shoes.

Helen has never done catwalk modelling before and it

quickly dawns on her that she'll need to do more than just pose.

What's going on?

Have I got to do it in front of everyone?

-I'm assuming you'll have to walk.

-Oh, my God, I don't want to do this.

The judges are going to sit at that table, I think.

I can't walk in these shoes, though.

To make matters worse,

Helen's up against catwalk models with years of experience.

Oh, I don't want to do this.

I don't want to do this.

SHE WHISPERS

Way out of her comfort zone, Helen seeks an escape route.

Just go and tell them....

Go and tell them I can't walk in my shoes, and I don't want to do it.

I don't want to do it. Go on. Just go on.

The shoes she's got on are too big.

They've stretched and they've got massive gaps in between.

-I can't walk in them.

-What size are you?

-Six.

Why don't you nip upstairs to one of the shoe shops and see

if we can borrow...? Get a couple of black ones in size six...

-Not too high, yeah.

-There's no getting out of it.

I was like, "I don't want to do it."

But in Britain's largest shopping mall,

it doesn't take long to find a pair of shoes that fit.

-I need to just try them.

-OK.

They're vile.

They're vile shoes but...

BOTH MUMBLE

Better.

So, it's time for Helen to show what she's got.

Stand on your right foot and turn right.

# If you want it I'm going to be ba ba boom boom

# If you got it you got it You got that boom boom... #

-It's not the firing squad.

-We're not going to shoot you, OK?

So, just look at us and smile...please.

Would you like to walk in? Thank you.

That was very nerve-wracking.

I nearly passed out at the beginning.

I'm more photogenic than I am walk-agenic,

if that makes any sense.

Thanks very much for getting us these, by the way.

Helen wasn't "walk-agenic" enough to be selected for the main

part of the catwalk show, but they do have a less demanding role

available in a competition for trainee stylists.

We've actually got a fashionista competition

and we're looking for two models that they can actually dress.

-Oh, yeah.

-So, it wouldn't be too much walking.

You still have to walk on the catwalk.

Oh, yeah, I would do that. Sounds good, that.

Sounds different, doesn't it? Thank you very much. See you, bye.

With the ordeal over,

Helen hits the champagne bar for a much needed drink with Emma,

a hair stylist from the mall.

-It was horrible. I nearly freaked out and walked out.

-Why?

Cos I walked in, you could see every single one of them

were professional models. The way they walked,

the way they dressed, everything.

-So, they had all done it before?

-Yeah.

And here's me with my charva strut, walking like a complete bloke.

I was like, "Yeah, don't fit in here at all."

But... But she said at the end,

"We are looking for two people so our models can dress them up,

"so, like, try the clothes on from different shops

"and things like that."

What about, erm, glamour modelling?

My boyfriend wouldn't let us do that.

What? And you'd let your boyfriend tell you "no"?

No, but, he wouldn't.

If you weren't with him, would you be interested in doing that yourself?

I don't know. There's good things about it cos of the money but,

then again, you're getting your kit off for the whole world.

Would your boyfriend let you do it?

Well, you've gotta have boobs first to do glamour modelling,

so I'd have to ask him for a boob job first.

What about if you were offered the right amount of money -

-would you go for it?

-I think I would.

I think, no matter what, I would go as far as underwear.

That's nowt, is it? That's like a bikini, you know what I mean?

-That's absolutely nothing.

-So, you wouldn't go topless?

I would...

but I dunno.

Just have to talk things through with the boyfriend.

I think if I said to him,

"Here's this amount of money that I'm going to get",

he'd be like, "OK."

Not only have fashion-hungry Abbie's spending plans hit a road block,

her plans to dazzle her boss with high sales have come to

a sorry standstill as well.

At the moment, it's like, literally, dribs and drabs,

and it's so hard to make a sale.

It so hard to get, like... D'you know what I mean?

Just talk to someone.

No problem. See you later.

Business is slow and today,

nobody's buying Abbie's persuasive sales patter.

Hi.

I've just had a bad week and it's really upsetting us, cos I hate it.

You getting on all right there for sizes and everything?

No problem. Are you getting on all right there?

Are you all right for sizes, yeah?

I feel like a proper letdown when I don't meet my targets.

Do you know, you just know if someone's going to buy or not.

But it's just one of them days.

I'm just having a really bad day for sales today.

Maybe Abbie's luck is about to change,

as her best mate Evie pops in looking for a birthday dress.

-How are you doing?

-I'm good.

-I like your shirt.

-It's good.

So, anything for me?

I don't want something short.

No.

-It's a bit colourful for me.

-Yeah.

-You're more...

-Again, too colourful.

Too colourful, black and white, hmm-hmm(!)

Look at that. Look at that detail.

We had the shorter one in last year and it was like a ra-ra...

It is that a unique one?

Yeah. Got a lovely double-breasted...

I love a good mack.

-Love a good mack.

-Love a good mack.

-That would look wicked with your hair.

-Wouldn't it?

Argh! 135. Like, wow.

It is really expensive in here, like.

That's lush, that one.

Ah, Vivienne.

Oh, Vivienne, how you do tease me!

I'd just love to have unlimited amounts of money.

-I know, imagine it.

-I'm a skint student, unfortunately, so...

I'm just a skint human being.

Well, I'm going to go and do some uni work cos I'm poor

and can't afford anything.

I can maybe stretch to some Vivienne jellies but I don't need them.

So, if Abbie can't even sell to her best mate,

how's she ever going to persuade her boss she's ready for promotion?

Skint or not, in Newcastle, when the working week is done,

it's time to make a beeline for the nearest bar.

Oh, hello, ladies.

-It's all right, I don't want a hug.

-You all right?

Hiya!

Alreet?

-Have you just finished work?

-Hence why I'm dressed in Converse.

The only time I dress up, nobody else does,

-and the only time I don't dress up, everyone else does.

-Aw...

-Never mind.

-Napkins for you guys.

When I say "go", start drinking.

One, two, three, start drinking. Go, go, go!

Oh, that is vile! That is actually...

Urgh!

That's quite nice, actually.

A few drinks down and Helen wants to know what people

think of Emma's recent career advice.

What do yous think of glamour modelling?

I... Not for me.

What's the difference, like?

Glamour modelling, it's not just getting your boobs out,

or getting your body out. It's underwear.

I think if it's done in a classy manner and everything...

If it's a classy manner...

But not like, "Where's your dignity? What the hell would your mother say?"

Do you know what I mean?

You can do it. If you have the courage to do that, do it.

Because, I'm sorry, but at the end of the day,

men are always going to want to see naked women in some form.

-That just creeps me out.

-Exactly.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

I know for a fact his opinion...

Because he's like, "Which way do you want it? This, like?"

But that's a bloke's opinion.

I've got boobs, right?

If I wanted to, I probably could go into glamour modelling

-or something like that, right?

-If they would let her.

I could not do it, because of my pride and because of my dignity,

and realistically, yeah, you only live once, but I just think it's....

-It's just...

-Underwear, do you know what it is?

The thing is, as he said, it's all right for bikini, but not underwear.

-What's the difference?

-I think...

-What the fuck?

What the fuck is the difference between underwear and a bikini?

I understand, like, sexy underwear, suspenders and stuff like that,

I understand that. I understand that.

But general bra and knickers, what's the difference with a bikini?

Underwear's something you have in the bedroom.

Something in the bedroom, it's something sexy,

and it's something that should just be for your boyfriend.

That's how he'll see it. That's what he'll instantly think of.

And then he's like...

That means the guys are going to be getting off on it.

-If you go down the modelling route, right...

-Don't do glamour first.

-You can't go back the way.

-Keep your tits in your bra.

-You know what I mean?

-Yeah.

To be honest, you are far too pretty, because glamour models are dogs.

-It's make-up.

-They are dogs.

I mean, you can look like a dog's back end

and you can go into glamour modelling as far as I'm concerned.

So many more routes to success

than getting your tits out, do you know what I mean? Fuck's sake.

But completely up to everyone, their life choices,

as long as it's not me.

With the serious talking over, the serious partying begins.

THEY ALL CHEER

SHE SHOUTS OUT

Come on!

Go on! Whoo!

Joe?

Joe.

Joseph.

It's 9am, and Joey's in no hurry to get up for work.

Joe, open your eyes.

Yo.

But when he does get in, the boss wants a quiet word

after spotting him larking about on the shop's CCTV.

Just keep an eye on the shop for us while I talk to Joe

in the back, yeah? Thank you very much, Rachel.

I just wanted to talk to you today, Joe.

What happened last Friday was very bad. I watched you.

You done nothing all day. It's not school any more.

We think, after discussing it with Chris and Paula, that you have

a schoolboy attitude sometimes towards the business.

Your continuous lateness is extremely bad.

The reason you got the first warning was consistent late.

I don't want to be in the position in another month's time

where I'm saying goodbye to you and giving you your P45.

Have you got anything you want to tell me, Joe?

-I've got problems, but really...

-Personal stuff, you mean, yeah?

If I lose my job in here,

me and my mum would be put in a one-bedroom flat.

Everybody has problems, Joe.

It's how you deal with your problems that's important.

There's 10,000 other kids all going for the same job - there's not that

many jobs at the moment, we're in a recession and all the rest of it.

What I'm saying to you, Joe, it's a great opportunity.

You've got security, you get paid every week. Don't lose it.

Don't mess it up.

I'm willing and ready to hopefully not be in that position again.

Don't take the mick, Joe.

If you do, it'll be a bad ending.

I don't want to go there. I really do not want to go there, Joe.

With Joey now on a second written warning,

he knows he's in last-chance saloon.

-Hi, Ma.

-Hiya, son.

Have you had a good day at work?

-I kind of got a written warning, like.

-You got a written warning?

Give us a look.

What's that?

It's a written warning.

Gross insubordination? And...? What does that mean?

It's just failure to listen to the management. Fucking...

When he went home at half two,

I was tidying the stockroom and things like that.

And I'd separated some shoes what had come in on a delivery.

It wasn't enough. So he's picked up an excuse to give us a warning.

He thinks, "He's a bad apple, so I'm going to get rid of him."

I would just love to go to work and not be watched off a millionaire.

On camera, 24/7. It's like fucking Durham jail.

You've got the governor watching you on camera 24/7

and picking the phone up at the slightest little thing you do wrong.

Graffiti on your cell wall,

the governor's at your fucking door like a shot.

That's what it's like at Durham jail - Big Brother watching you.

It hurts me to think of a good-natured laddie like you,

my son, getting made a mug of, like that.

It really breaks my heart.

Hurts me, the only reason why is because of the money.

If I don't give you 30 quid a week,

we're going to get kicked out of our house.

But it's not your responsibility to have that burden on your shoulders.

It's mine, as a mother.

When we both live together as mother and son, I've got to help you as much

as you help me, because without that 30 quid a week, where would we be?

In a flat, in a one-bedroom flat somewhere. Exactly.

We'll still stand together and we'll get through it, whatever.

# Where's all my soul sisters?

# Let me hear y'all flow sisters

# Hey sister, go sister Soul sister, flow sister... #

Unlike many of his peers, Jon's already moved out of home

and rents a flat with his sister Molly.

With, obviously, having my own place, there's a lot more bills

involved in what most people my age have.

So all my money does tend to get put into that.

But when he does have money for a night out,

it's not just the town he paints red.

The whole thing about being a drag queen is that everything is

meant to be over the top, so you have hair that is ridiculously big.

So, excluding Molly, who hasn't quite accepted it yet,

when did we all come out?

I think there is quite a big difference between coming to

-terms with it and coming out. What ages...?

-16 for me. Literally.

-I had a girlfriend for, like, eight months.

-You had a girlfriend?!

-We were pretty serious, right?

-Did you sleep with her?

-Are you a gold-star gay?

-What's gold-star gay?

It's when you haven't slept with a member of the opposite gender.

I'm a gold-star gay

because I have never gone all the way with the girl.

-James, gold star?

-No.

-Definitely not!

-Gold star?

-No. I was when I came out!

She's been bad since she came out.

-Basically, I had a girlfriend, we broke up...

-Did you finish that?

No, she finished with me

because she thought I was cheating on her with another girl.

-How wrong can you get?

-Who was actually, technically, my fag hag.

Then I came out as bi.

I said I was bi because I didn't know if I wanted to have sex...

When he told me, I laughed and went, "Well, I knew that.

"That's not a surprise."

I'm one of those rare few that have a very accepting family.

My mam's even, like... said when I was younger,

she was certain I was either going to come out as transgender or gay.

I'm too fabulous for trans.

Ready or not, here comes Mama.

So, do you like?

Ta-da.

Um...wow.

THEY LAUGH

Wow. You are just like a complete hot mess.

That's a good compliment.

-"Hot mess" is good.

-"Hot mess" is good.

-Are you sure?

Does that mean it's like messy and trashy?

-Yeah.

-So, you're trashy but hot.

When you go out, do you use the men's toilet or the women's toilets?

I'm usually so drunk and it's half melted off anyway,

so you know I'm a bloke anyway, so I go in the men's.

I tend to only do this if I'm out on the gay scene.

I wouldn't do it in Linda's bar, so, yeah, men's toilets.

They don't even bat an eyelid. You walk past and they're, like "Hi!"

Right, let's get some drinks sorted, then.

From doughnut king to drag queen -

quick frock change and Lady Jon hits the mall bar.

-Here she is.

-Hello, darling.

-Hello, dear.

Ooh!

You look fabulous this evening.

-I always look fabulous, darling.

-Is Jon coming tonight(?)

-No, no.

He couldn't make it tonight. No.

Sent me along instead.

-I didn't think so.

-Yes.

-It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's a pleasure to meet you, dear. How are you?

-What do I call you now?

-I'm Tina, darling. Tina Colada.

-Fabulous.

-So, have you been at work today, then?

-Yeah, I've just finished.

-Oh, have you?

-Yeah.

-Have you been busy or...?

-Absolutely dead.

-Have you been dead?

-I was in on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday,

-and every single day I got sent home early.

-Why?

It was that dead, they had no need for the amount of staff.

Do you not get the option?

It's always offered to you - "Would you like to go home now?" -

but you are kind of also almost put under the pressure of,

you know, "We don't need you in. Please leave now."

So, you kind of feel bad, and you're like, "Go on, then."

But when you're dressed to impress,

there's far more important things to talk about than work.

-Is everyone liking my nails?

-Are they real?

-Of course they're real.

-Of course they're real.

-I was going to say, "Look at her."

I'm wearing white and pink,

-so I'm going to look like a right Barbie, aren't I?

-Aw.

-I hate looking like a girl.

-Ooh, I love it.

THEY ALL LAUGH

I'm going to get some money and come back. I'll see you in a momento.

-He really suits being a girl.

-I was not at all surprised.

He's actually really pretty.

If I had been totalled,

I wouldn't have been able to tell that WAS Jon.

If I was single...

HE CHUCKLES

It's just four days till the Metrocentre fashion show,

and sushi waitress Helen has a plan

to drum up interest in her catwalk debut.

-Where are you off to?

-It's Mayfield Studio.

She is heading to Newcastle for a meeting with the Northeast's

largest model agency, who will be talent-spotting at the show.

I'm getting nervous, because we're coming into the city centre now.

So...

Agh!

SHE LAUGHS

I'm actually shitting my pants.

-Hiya.

-Hello.

-Are you Lesley?

-I am. Do you want to come in? Have a seat.

-So, what's your full-time work?

-I'm a waitress.

-You're a waitress?

Yeah. Just working full time.

I've wanted to get back into this for absolutely years.

You have got a really nice face, but with the red hair,

not that it isn't gorgeous,

but many of my clients might find it a little bit off-putting.

So, with having the red hair, it kind of wouldn't work.

We would need to get you more sort of girl-next-door look.

-Yeah, that's fine.

-Is that something you would consider toning down?

Yeah. Completely.

So the next step I would like to see is

I would like to see you as a brunette.

I am going to pop along to the Metrocentre on Friday,

so maybe we could get meet up then

and I could have a look at you with the brown hair,

and then, if I think that there is a possibility that we can

get you some work, then I would really advise you to maybe go

-and have some test pictures taken.

-Thank you very much for your time.

No problem. Thank you.

With the chance of getting on the agency books up for grabs,

the fashion show is now a huge opportunity for Helen,

but can she walk like a pro when it really matters?

Obviously, Lesley from Tyne Tees is going to be there.

I've also heard that newspapers and things are going as well,

so it's not just local. It's massive.

It's advertised on the telly.

I'm really nervous. Last night, I couldn't sleep.

I was nearly sick at work yesterday. I'm all right now,

but as it comes nearer the time, I'll be counting down the hours

and I'll be absolutely petrified.

It's not the fact of the people, it's in case,

"What if I fall over?

"What if I walk like an idiot?" Like I do anyway, but you know?!

Since his last warning,

skater boy Joey has been trying to stay out of trouble at work.

I had a couple of bad shifts at work.

I'm trying to get myself back on track now.

Just trying to get in that little bit early,

and things like that makes all the difference.

At least I can't get a written warning for being late.

Part of his master plan is to spend as much time as possible

in one part of the shop where CCTV doesn't reach.

When you come through here, out the shop,

and it's busy in there, it's a really nice release.

You've got speakers and you just plug your phone in,

get the music on, blasting.

You normally get a couple of knocks on the ball off Cafe Rouge next door.

But yeah, it's nice to get a release out of that shop.

Plus, there are no cameras in here, so you're not getting watched.

So, yeah, it's nice being here, I suppose.

But the boss is still not happy.

Joseph, I need to see you.

Clear out, girls. Clear out. Thank you.

I just reviewed last week.

I look at what went on last week, and Joe's in the back all week.

We're not paying you to be in the back all week, Joe.

-If you check everything I've done...

-I've watched the footage, Joe.

I've been right through it, honestly.

This is a business, Joe, yeah? You understand that?

Being in the back is going in, sorting things out,

going round - boom, boom, boom - yeah, done, done, done, away.

So, don't think that working in the back means

you're in there for six, seven, eight hours a day. Come on, Joe.

We can't be sitting on top of you.

"Joe, you need a bar code." "Joe, you need to do this."

You need to start thinking for yourself.

Stop giving me the ammunition to giving you a bollocking.

-It's ridiculous.

-I don't know what to say. I just try my best.

I'm trying my best. I always have.

I kept a work diary so you can see where I am

at every minute of the day.

Even when I go to the toilet, I write how long I've been in the toilet,

and seven minutes to go for a tab, things like that.

I just think I'm not getting anywhere.

This isn't an exercise in beating you up.

-We're trying to manage performance.

-It's all right.

I'll... I'll get on with...

I'll get on with whatever anybody want us to do.

I'm just sorry. I'm sorry.

No.

Fucking...

-Hello, Ma. Hello, Storm.

-You all right?

-I am, aye.

-I just had a bad day, that's all.

-I know.

I'm having a bad day at work an' all.

-Don't worry. It's not the end of the world.

-I'm all right about it.

-As long as I can give you some money.

-We'll get by. I love you.

We'll sit together on this, son. I'll support you. Anything at all.

If you end up on the dole, I'll support you, I'll help you. Right?

Don't you worry about coming in here or saying this, that or the other.

I love you and I'll support you whatever.

-Whatever happens.

-Thanks, Mum. I just...

-Right, my darling?

-Aye. I'm not really worried.

-Do you want a chicken dinner?

-Aye, please.

I just look at him and, you know...

I hate seeing him slightly sad.

I hate it.

I'm feeling really bad for Joseph at the minute.

He's being kicked in the teeth.

I don't want my son worrying about now, so I take it on my shoulders.

He shouldn't be allowed to worry. He's a bairn, in my eyes.

Aye, he's 19. He's a bairn. He's just a babby.

To me, he's just a babby.

I'm the mother. I carried them. It's my job to worry for them.

Not their job. If I lose the house, I lose the house.

I'm not having my bairns worrying about this.

But despite his best efforts, Joey's now dangerously close

to losing the job that his family relies on.

Good afternoon. Van Mildert. Abbie speaking.

In Van Mildert,

it's a big day for Abbie - a visit from area manager Jane

could bring good news of an opening for a promotion

which could see Abbie's fashion spending

go from high street to high end.

I just want everything to be perfect. I mean, it isn't normally like this.

I just want it to be extra perfect

when the area manager comes in.

-Hello, Abbie. How are you doing?

-All right. How are you?

-Not bad.

The store inspection includes a review of all staff sales figures,

and unfortunately for Abbie, it's not been the best month.

Where are we up to with Abbie now?

Because I know she's normally either top sales or top three...

Normally, she is one of our best sellers,

whereas last month, she just fell short, which is so unlike her.

-She's keen to get on. She is a good...

-Oh, yeah.

She's a good little egg in this store.

Before Jane leaves, Abbie is eager to find out if there are any

promotion opportunities... and if she's in with a shout.

I feel like I've took it upon myself to try and give myself a bit

more responsibility, as in helping out with management a lot.

It's in like team talks and stuff.

I know how to fill out the team talk, I know how to do the targets.

If the opportunity was there, I would grab it with both hands

because I feel that I would be able to progress

and I would be able to be a good member of the management.

At the minute, we don't have a vacancy.

So what we want to do with you, Abbie, is to get you to that level.

I just think you need to push yourself and remain consistent.

It's all about sales. Kate's the store manager, she's top sales.

She beats everybody in the store.

She has far more responsibilities than anybody else, so I think if

the store manager can do it, other team members can do it as well.

So you need to consistently hit your targets,

and it shows that you're striving to be better.

If you understand what you need to do,

then I can help you to get to that point,

to actually get you into being a supervisor or a floor manager,

so if there was a position that came up,

you could obviously step into it straightaway.

-How is that?

-Yeah.

-Right.

-It's not the news that Abbie wanted to hear.

-It's just... I don't know.

It's me probably being impatient.

I just wish that that opportunity was there right now.

I feel like I've sort of proved myself to Kate and everyone,

my manager,

so obviously what's been said is that the supervisor role isn't there.

That is just massively unfortunate on my part, but it's like life.

I would love to be able to hold on,

but if I hold on for any longer than I already have, like...

..I'm going to get myself in a whole heap of trouble,

because I can't afford to live the lifestyle I would normally live.

Today, Milan's coming to the Metrocentre,

as the mall prepares for its annual fashion show.

For the clothes stores, it's a chance to promote

their wares on the catwalk.

For the new-look Helen, it's a chance to show

Lesley from the agency that she's got what it takes to be a model.

I need the toilet. Oh, lordy Lord. Look at all the lights.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

-It's just lights for the stage.

-Oh, my God. I'm going to cry.

-Don't cry.

Oh, Jesus Christ. There's going to be lots of people here, isn't there?

As the scale of the occasion sinks in, Helen is losing her bottle.

Oh, crap, I'm feeling nervous now.

I want to go home.

But it's too late for Helen to do a runner,

as it's time for her model makeover to begin.

-In here?

-It's in there.

-Right.

We've got a hat going on this side, so we want the hair...

# You're insecure

# Don't know what for

# You're turning heads when you walk through the door

# Don't need make-up to cover up

# Being the way that you are is enough

# That's what makes you beautiful... #

Ten seconds!

That will help focus the mind.

The moment has arrived for Helen to face the catwalk.

Not the best time for a wardrobe malfunction.

It keeps falling down.

My boobs are going to pop out.

As quick as you can.

At the casting a month ago,

Helen crumbled in front of just two judges.

Now she's facing a crowded mall and a model agency talent scout.

She's not even looking, me mam.

Look at them. I want to see me mam.

INDISTINCT

With the main show almost over,

it's time for Helen to strut her stuff in the stylist competition.

For Helen, there's

a lot more at stake than just conquering her fear of the catwalk.

Her whole career as a model could hinge on this performance.

Can I just ask Helen... Those shoes, can everyone see the shoes?

They're like skyscrapers. Are they comfortable?

I do it every weekend on a night out,

-so it's no different.

-So right. OK.

You're comfortable? Brilliant!

She's at home, everyone, she's fine. OK, ladies,

if you would just like to take the chance to show off your outfit.

Now it's time for Helen to let her feet do the talking.

MUSIC PLAYS

Well done. That was absolutely fantastic. Oh, nice one.

Nice use of the accessory there, Helen. Brilliant.

Give it up for the designers, everyone.

-Helen has conquered her walk-o-phobia.

-Oh, God.

I was like, "Oh, my God!"

Honestly, when I saw you cry, it was such a proud moment.

I was like, "I've made me mam and me grandma cry."

But has she done enough to impress the model agency talent scout?

-I was so nervous.

-I'll not knock your hat off.

-Me mam did earlier.

It went straight off my head. It was really good.

-How do you feel?

-Absolutely great. Absolutely amazing.

-Brilliant.

Is that the first time ever on the catwalk? Your hair looks fabulous.

-Brilliant. Much better, isn't it?

-Make-up's beautiful.

You look a million times better.

What we'll do is get you in front of the camera in a studio

and get some nice shots done and then we'll take it from there.

-Can't wait.

-I'm not going to promise that she's going to be

the next best model in Newcastle, but she has got character,

she's got confidence

and I'd like to see that on film.

It's been a mixture of feelings.

This morning, I was panicky, I was very nervous,

thinking I couldn't do it, but as soon as I got to practise it,

I knew what I was doing, so I wasn't being thrown in the deep end

and not knowing what to do. I saw the way one of the girls walked

and that was the way I wanted to walk.

Everyone's got their own thing, and if I can just do that

to start off with, then that's me starting off being a model.

Coming up in Shoplife - Helen bares all,

but does she measure up?

Oh, my God. That's horrible, that one. That's horrible. I look fat.

Abbie's at her wits' end.

What the hell do I do? I cannot frigging stay.

-I cannot live like that.

-It's handbags to hatchbacks.

-Time for a career change.

-I think the way a car works is amazing.

HORN TOOTS

And we meet sales assistant Tom,

who loves to take centre stage.

My name is Justin Credible.

But has his dream of superstardom gone to his head?

-Groceries.

-Groceries.

Like ten cafes.

He's an absolute fruit loop.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd