Episode 2 When I Get Older

Last time, four high-profile pensioners moved in

with four OAP hosts.

I'm Lesley.

And confronted the problems faced by old people living in their own homes.

I am shocked to think that the fridge is just so empty.

One thing I'm not going to do is bloody choke up.

-WHEEZY COUGHING

-I've been here a day. I feel exhausted.

Sorry, I can't say it.

Tonight, they will experience an old age even more challenging.

Why do they keep me alive?

This is the story of four famous pensioners

who leave behind their wealth, comfort and busy lives

to move into care homes for the elderly.

I'm now in respite care from the chaos that is my life.

-Oh!

-I'll be stuck in here for the whole day.

Many of us dread the prospect of ending up in care.

All of us would rather be in our own homes. I'm sure that must be true.

But most of us will be forced to spend our final years relying on others to survive.

-It's not going to work.

-All right, get a breath.

Like nearly half a million pensioners across the country.

67-year-old BBC news reporter John Simpson.

Nobody ever thinks of themselves in a care home or on their death bed.

Those are the things you can't conceive of.

71-year-old presenter and journalist Gloria Hunniford.

My biggest dread in life is not being able to live my life and die in my own home.

-65-year-old actor and presenter Tony Robinson.

-It might be really boring. I'm most scared of that.

And 66-year-old actress Lesley Joseph.

I hope I can bring a little humour to their lives. I'm glass half-full, not glass half-empty.

How will the four new care home residents cope with living a life they all fear?

I've done a runner. I couldn't last two whole days.

Will the experience surprise, even change their attitudes on how many of us will live out our final years?

Maybe for the first time I realise it must be a relief in some ways to come into a place like this.

-This is exciting.

-Cheers.

-Cheers to you.

I'm 67. I haven't got that many years to go.

I just want to run back to London and go and scoop my mother up.

This programme contains some strong language.

It's day one and the four well-known pensioners are on their way

to experience an old age a world away from their own.

It's going to be really good. Well, I don't know what I'll find when I get there.

For the next three days, they're each moving into one of the UK's 20,000 care homes

to live alongside British pensioners who can no longer cope living on their own.

I want to get a better understanding

of what the less sort of glamorous side of old age is.

I think I'll want to try the things that people take part in,

but not because my legs are dodgy or, hopefully, not because I'm incontinent,

but because I'd like to get a feel of it.

65-year-old presenter Tony Robinson made up his mind about care homes

after watching his mum spend the final years of her life in hers.

There was a sucking of energy out of her.

There was a sucking of...life

which meant that not only her,

but virtually all the elderly people who were there that I spoke to didn't really want to live any more.

And that's why I feel in a sense terribly angry about the way that we treat the elderly,

but I also don't know what the alternative is

and I kind of hope that the journey that we're on now

might in some way flag up what that alternative or those alternatives might be.

It's not the kind of day that you would want to be taken into a care home.

It's freezing cold, it's rainy, it's gloomy.

Tony's home for the next three days is the Royal Star & Garter in Solihull,

a charity-run care home for 58 ex-servicemen and women and their partners.

-Hello, Sue.

-You must be Tony.

-Yes, I am.

-Nice to meet you. Welcome to the Royal Star & Garter.

-Thank you.

Tony wants to find out if the residents here are happy living their final years in care.

-I love this - "home, sweet home".

-And it is our home, sweet home.

Well, let's hope so.

-Here we are.

-Oh, my room.

-This is your room.

-Lovely to have you.

-Thanks, Sue.

Sue's gone now, yeah?

It's, it's...

It's lovely

and it actually does smell of fresh paint, not the smells that I feared,

and it's a very big room,

but what's life going to be like for the people who are here? That's the really important thing.

If I were going into this home for real,

it would be the ultimate dread of my life.

Consumer champion Gloria Hunniford has strong views on care homes.

I've said to all my family, "I never want to go into a care home."

There have been some very damning reports of late. I'm not being naive about it.

I know that there are some very, very good care homes,

so it might be a lovely home and I might change my mind altogether. Who knows?

Gloria has been admitted to Hoylake Cottage on the Wirral,

a nursing home with a difference.

"Caring for life." That sounds a nice way of putting it. That's good.

Do a few more side steps for me.

Hoylake has a rehab unit for pensioners recovering from a serious illness or an accident.

Take your time. That's it, left leg...

It's a potentially life-changing crossroads for many old people

who are assessed on whether they are fit enough to live at home or need to move into a care home for good.

So I guess I'd better go and get my things in. I brought far too much, not knowing where I was coming to.

Hi. Good morning.

-Good morning.

-How are you?

-I'm Lin Cooke, the chief executive...

-Sorry? Lin?

-Lin Cooke, yes.

-Not a man in a grey suit, a nice lady in a pink cardigan. Nice to meet you.

-Thank you.

I'd better make it clear to you right up front,

-it's my biggest dread in my whole life, having to go into a care home at the end of my days.

-Yeah.

If you gave everybody the choice, they would rather die in their own home.

We would hope that we could give you the positive side,

if you ever had to make that choice, you could see the good side of it.

I'm looking forward to it. I have far too much stuff with me. Can anybody help me with it?

-Denise will get one of the caretakers to get your belongings.

-Thank you.

-My stuff.

-It is.

-See what I mean? A lot of stuff!

-That's fine.

-I'll take you through here.

-My room.

-Your room, yes.

BBC world affairs editor John Simpson would rather finish his own life

than move into care or depend on others in old age.

I've made no secret of the fact that I would rather just sort of take a pill

and end things, rather than live in misery and be a nuisance to people.

Life is a wonderful thing,

but life just in its most technical sense, just with the heart still going,

is not worth having.

John is going to a care home for dementia sufferers,

the kind of condition he fears more than any.

-We'll go that side of Donald.

-Yes, I'd better go that side.

But staff here hold very different views to his.

I think it's going to be fantastic having a celebrity stay here,

so they can understand that life doesn't end coming into a care home,

especially a dementia care home.

They don't believe anyone should be written off,

regardless of illness or age.

-Shall we put her on the chair?

-Yes.

Dementia covers a range of brain diseases, the most common of which is Alzheimer's.

Symptoms include loss of memory and problems with communication and understanding.

No, I really don't know who I am.

It affects nearly 800,000 pensioners in the UK.

-Hello, John.

-Good morning.

-Come on in.

-Thank you.

-My name's Marsha.

-Hello, Marsha.

-I'm the care manager here.

-Excellent.

-It looks very sort of... It's very bright and nice.

-Thank you. That's what we have aimed to do here.

-This is your room.

-So it is.

-With your name on the door.

-My God, me all over it!

-The residents here, John, do have some form of dementia.

Have any relatives of yours had dementia, or friends?

Friends, certainly.

That's all. Nobody in my own immediate family has had it.

So, hopefully, over your stay here, you'll see how the carers will actually use the environment

to help the residents, especially in bouts of bad confusion.

Three years ago, Lesley Joseph had to find the right home for her 96-year-old mum.

In the end, she decided on a high quality private care home that she could afford within her means.

She is now being looked after properly

where they have activities, where they have exercise classes, where they have physiotherapy,

all the things she needs to make the quality of her life really good.

Lesley is going to spend the next three days at Hillview in Middlesbrough

where nearly all the residents are funded by the local authority.

The council pays £464 a week for its residents, the minimum amount recommended for their care.

-Hello. How are you? I'm Lesley Joseph.

-Hi, I'm Sheila Smith, the home manager.

-How are you?

-Fine.

-Nice to meet you.

Lesley wants to find out if care at this end of the spectrum is really good enough.

I'm now in respite care from the chaos that is my life.

-Good afternoon, everybody. We've got a new resident joining us for a few days.

-Hello. Are you all right?

-I'm Lesley.

-Eh?

-I'm Lesley.

-Oh, I'm Mildred.

-Hello, Mildred. Nice to meet you.

It's lunchtime and residents Mildred, a former hairdresser, and Mary-Ann, a former housewife,

are giving Lesley her first taste of Hillview.

Would you like a sandwich? We have egg mayonnaise, ham and cheese.

-Do they have a hot meal in the evening?

-Yes.

How long have you been here?

-Oh, not very long.

-Not very long?

-And is this now your home?

-No, my home's in Lancaster.

Right.

-But you can go back and visit?

-It's not the same, though.

-No, not the same as living there.

-No, it isn't.

-I'm Mary-Ann.

-Mary-Ann? That's a lovely name.

Have you been here long, Mary-Ann?

-Yes, a few years.

-A few years?

-A good few years.

-Yeah?

-Yes.

And you enjoy it here?

I like it.

-Do you?

-Yes.

-I'm in for good.

-For good?

-Yeah, yes.

'When you sit down, you just have a feeling

'that they've all left their homes and even now, after a few years,

'it's difficult to accept that this is now home.'

And that must be such a hard thing.

-Welcome to the main lounge.

-Thank you.

-This is Donald.

-Very nice to see you.

Most of the residents in John's new home have mild to moderate dementia.

-Gaynor.

-Hello. I'm John.

But it's a progressive disease which means the symptoms will get gradually worse.

-Hello. How do you do? John Simpson.

-Oh, dear. I can't get right up.

So how long have you been here?

Only minutes. THEY LAUGH

Oh, I'm so pleased to think that we're working.

Yes, well...

-I've seen you before.

-The thing is, I'm sometimes on the television.

-That's what it is.

-You know how it is.

-Yes, I do indeed.

-Have you got children?

-Yes, I have.

So what do your children do?

Um... What do they do?

-SHE LAUGHS

-I know the feeling!

-How old are they?

-I can't even tell you that. Isn't that ridiculous?

I'm just thinking...

Your mind, if I had one.

'I'm learning already'

not to ask those kind of precise, factual questions

because many of them don't remember.

And did you live in Cambridge?

I lived in, uh...

-I lived in Cambridge.

-Oh, yes.

'You've got to understand their limitations.'

It's difficult.

-I'm just going to go to my room, if you don't mind.

-Of course you can. Can you remember the way?

-Yes.

-I'm not one of your patients, you know.

-No, no.

Perhaps I do belong here then because I thought it was here.

It must be on another floor?

Oh, it's down here.

I'm having my senior moment. Here I am.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hi, Donald.

I've brought Tony to come... just to say hello.

New boy Tony is being introduced to another recent arrival.

-Hi, Donald.

-Nice to see you, anyway.

94-year-old former Major Donald Bennett fought in World War Two and won the Military Cross for bravery.

He moved into the home three weeks ago, but is having difficulty settling in,

which comes as no surprise to Tony.

-Where were you before you were here?

-I was living at home.

My wife died over 14 years ago now, so I've been on my own since then, really.

-So you had to make the decision to come into care?

-Yes.

-Because...?

Well, I'd fallen over two or three times at home.

I felt the time had come. I was getting a bit of a burden rather, to other people, anyway.

How did you feel when you first got here?

Well, it was all rather strange.

You know, you don't have the freedom of a whole house to roam about in and so forth, as I did before.

-Do you still feel like a new boy?

-I do rather, yes.

I haven't sampled many of the activities

or any of the activities really, I think,

which they lay on here for the residents.

I'd still rather be home, of course. Who wouldn't?

But it's just the increasing difficulties that one faces at home when you're on your own

that rather force a decision out of you like that, so...

Since Donald arrived, he has chosen to spend most of his time in his room.

-Are you still all right for some physio this afternoon, Donald?

-Yes.

Physio Nicola thinks a motorised wheelchair would really improve his mobility,

but is struggling to persuade Donald even to use a Zimmer frame.

-We'll have a little walk with your frame because we're still getting used to that one.

-Yes.

-Why do you need one of these little machines?

-I've never used one before until...

-Until I suggested it.

It will help a little bit with your balance because occasionally, you do have a little wobble, don't you?

-When you're using your sticks. Ever so slightly.

-I have been over before now, yes.

-Yeah.

If you just take your time...

How does it feel, Donald?

I'm not terribly confident with it, I must say.

Zimmer frames are a gag, aren't they? You put that in a sentence and you're bound to get a laugh.

It's the association with the name, really, that people feel you're one of the has-beens, I suppose.

-It has that stigma.

-That you're past it.

-Yes. That you're past it, you're over the hill.

-I suppose it is.

-Not necessarily. If we improve your mobility by using the walking frame,

-we're hoping you can walk that bit longer and you'll be independent for a bit longer.

-Yes.

There is a possibility that he's still clinging on

to what he had before, but then why wouldn't he?

I don't know that I want him to accept this place as home.

Who wants suddenly to adopt an institution after a whole life

of living in their house with their wife and all those memories?

-Your name is?

-Ann.

-Very nice to meet you. And...?

-Dennis.

-How are you?

Gloria is meeting patients at Hoylake to see if they share her fear of winding up in care.

-What happened to you?

-I had a fall.

-I didn't hurt myself.

-Didn't break anything?

-No.

-So why did they bring you here?

-To learn to walk again.

-How did you feel before you came in?

-A bit apprehensive.

-But it's fantastic.

-Yeah.

-Couldn't be better.

-And how would you feel if you were here permanently?

-I wouldn't like that.

-Why's that?

-I've had enough.

-You want to go home?

-Yes.

-Fed up watching the telly and reading the paper?

And getting fed every four hours.

-I miss my golf now.

-Do you miss it?

-I do.

That's the thing which I suppose, for all of us, that's one of the worst things about getting older.

You just have to accept that there are things you can't do any more.

Tomorrow, staff will decide whether 79-year-old Dennis is ready to return home.

-I'm stiff.

-Take your time.

Dennis had a stroke at the age of 60

and his wife Ivy has been his carer for the last 19 years.

When the assessment team goes in tomorrow, what are your hopes, Ivy, as to what happens?

Well, I'm hoping that Dennis performs how they want him to

and they can give him the OK to, you know, discharge him for home.

How would you feel if it turned out that the assessment team said,

"I don't think he can cope that well at home," and he had to stay here?

Oh, no, I think I'd want him home. I think I'd want him home.

So is there anything that you feel you might not be able to do when you go home?

-Play football.

-LAUGHTER

Play football and golf, eh?

I only hope he doesn't get too emotional

-because he can. Can't you?

-Do I?

Yes.

'I like Dennis very much. He is a man who is charged and ready to go home.

'They'll have to wait for that assessment to see whether he can manage everything.'

Or maybe more importantly, can his wife manage everything?

I think I'd be right if you asked everybody, "How would you like to end your life?"

They would say, "I want to be in my own home." That's normal.

But we know that there are many circumstances under which people can't remain like that

and that is the worry for everybody getting a tad older.

Many of the residents in the dementia home are already in bed.

How can you see in the dark like this?

But still up are John and 88-year-old Hilda.

He's put on a light now.

She has recently taken to walking in the garden at night.

No, we can't get past there, so we'd better go back.

Hilda has Alzheimer's and her family had to move her into care three months ago

when it was no longer safe for her to live alone at home.

-Couldn't we get over that fence?

-Wouldn't it be nice?

-Yeah.

-Would you like to get out?

-Yes.

-I know, I think I would too.

-I don't want to stay here.

-Don't you?

-No.

I just want to go away.

Oh, I'm sorry.

All I want is just a little bit of happiness, but I'm not getting any.

Aw!

Oh, my dear, well...

What can we do? Can we do anything to make you happy?

There's nothing.

Oh, I'm sorry.

If I could get over that fence,

I'd be as happy as anything then.

I know, I know.

Shall we go in here? Can we get in this way?

After a day in the dementia home,

John is still questioning whether people with this condition can have any quality of life.

I think it's pretty difficult to form any kind of realistic relationship

with any of the people here, to be honest.

Will you take your pill for me?

SHE LAUGHS

They're in the process of drifting away from relationships

and personal understandings and all that sort of stuff,

so I haven't really altered my view

that if it were me and I saw which way the wind was blowing,

I would try to find a way of avoiding it.

You're a funny one, you, aren't you?

# Show me the way to go home... #

Shall we go and get hammered?

At the end of the first day, things aren't much better for Tony.

-Cheers.

-Cheers to you.

But at least his care home has a free bar where he can drown his sorrows with the ex-servicemen.

I'm sorry to keep you up late, gentlemen. It's five to seven.

-I'm leading you into bad habits.

-This is exciting.

'Isn't it extraordinary about that generation?'

I was surrounded by all these guys who are at least 25 years older than me.

The experiences that they've had, the heroism that they've undergone,

and if you passed most of them in the street, you probably wouldn't give them a second look

and that's what fucks me off about a place like this.

It really does. That there are all these people

whose minds are such... of such quality

and we've put them in an institution.

I don't like that. I'm sure there ought to be an alternative.

# Show me the way to go home... #

That does date us, doesn't it?

-Night-night. See you tomorrow.

-See you tomorrow.

-Good night.

I still can't remember where the bloody place is. Is it down there?

-No, it's not down there.

-Yes, it is.

-Is it there?

-Yeah.

Most of the new residents are settling in for the night.

But in Middlesbrough...

Going to bed is the furthest thing from Lesley and fellow residents' minds.

There's a bit of a row going on in there.

It's actually making me laugh, but I probably shouldn't.

'I'm not quite sure what started it, if two people don't get on.'

Or if everybody is just going a bit stir-crazy at the end of a long day.

I think if you were living here and you didn't get on with somebody, that would make life very difficult.

I think the sort of adapting you have to do must be huge.

You lose your independence, you're living with other people you don't know. It'll never be plain sailing.

-You shut up!

-You shut your face!

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Hello.

-I'm putting make-up on in the bathroom.

-Right.

I could do with a radio here.

I can't believe John Humphrys is bashing away at some poor politician and I can't listen to it.

-Good morning.

-Hello. Good morning.

-Hello there.

-Good morning.

In Solihull, Tony has arranged to meet Donald for breakfast.

-Hi, Don. It's Tony.

-Hello, Tony.

-Hiya.

-Sorry.

-What's the matter?

-I fell over in the bathroom this morning.

-Oh, no!

-At half past eight, I was lying on the floor, I'm afraid.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, a bit shaken up.

It's a rather hard floor, you know.

-How did you attract anyone's attention in order to get you up?

-I've got a wristband on.

-Yeah.

So, a good job I had that.

-Yeah.

-Two nurses hauled me up to my feet again.

As I say, I went down with a bit of a bump. I just lost my balance, you know. It's happened before.

-Look, I'll come in later on and see how you are.

-OK, I'll be around.

The problem for Don is that he is as bright as a button,

but his body won't work properly for him.

It's a bit like if you wanted to do Formula One and you're driving around in a 1960s Triumph Herald.

And it's not something that's really solvable, I don't think.

So I feel like I've come down early, waiting for my mate, and my mate's poorly.

So what do you do for the rest of the day?

-Good morning.

-This morning is Dennis's all-important assessment

and Gloria has been invited along by the rehab team, but there's a problem.

Dennis has woken up feeling dizzy.

I think he has been really working his way towards this

and it would be an enormous disappointment to him.

All right, Dennis, how are you feeling?

-I'm a bit rough today.

-A bit rough?

-Yeah.

Will I come back later and we'll see about the home visit?

-Yeah.

-If you have a bit of a sleep now...

I think the visit will be off.

-Do you?

-I've got a feeling, yeah.

-Knowing Dennis, he must be feeling pretty rough.

-Yeah.

It's just one of those things. Maybe tomorrow, maybe it'll have to be next week.

We don't really know, do we?

Meeting Dennis has made Gloria think about her mum May

who fought her battle to continue living in her own home after she became ill at the age of 72.

There was one occasion when she fell between the bed and the wall and she wasn't able to get up

and she lay there for a very long time, apparently,

until a neighbour actually came in.

And I remember her telling me that was just one of the worst moments of her life

because "A", she felt helpless,

she wasn't able to physically call anybody, she wasn't near the telephone, couldn't get to the phone

and she couldn't help herself up.

And I think, in a weird way, that was the beginning of the end for her

because she realised for the first time she couldn't live on her own at home and she died in hospital,

but she was in there a relatively short time, so I think there comes a point in anybody's life

when you suffer that indignity or you suffer the realisation

that this could be it and you're going to have to be a bit practical from here on in.

John, I've got your coffee here.

After a difficult first day for John, manager Marsha has come up with a plan

to help him think differently about dementia and his own old age.

She's sending him out shopping with residents Hilda and Joan.

So this is a great way of building up relationships with the two ladies going into town

and they will see you, they will trust you

and they will know that you're safe, that you're a nice person, and that goes a long way.

-I'm a bit nervous. Supposing they do a runner or something?

-They won't do a runner.

Joan, where are you going?

89-year-old Joan has lived in the home for 2½ years

since her daughter found it impossible to look after her.

-Do you want to come down and I'll introduce you to Joan properly in her room?

-Lovely. Yes, I'd like to.

Like many of the residents, Joan has difficulty distinguishing between the past and the present.

That's Dad and Mum at the top. They're all right, they're safe. I got them right, I think.

And the children come along a bit lower down - Stephen, Peter and Andrew.

-Yes...

-And Anne, isn't there?

-Oh, yes.

Joan remembers them more as children, rather than as adults now.

And you've got a lot of grandchildren - three, six, nine, ten, eleven grandchildren!

-I shouldn't think so.

-No, I think you have.

-Am I that old?

-Yeah.

You've just had your birthday, Joan.

-I don't count birthdays.

-No, quite right.

Marsha wants to tackle John's assumption that the residents can't enjoy meaningful relationships.

'There's so much stigma with dementia.'

Somebody's drooling and the telly's on and what's the point?

It's nice to be out, isn't it? Seeing the outside world.

'He came in with that on day one.'

I want him to be able to go past that to see that there's so much more that he can contribute

towards that person's wellbeing by just taking the time and seeing them as an individual.

-What about these sort of things here?

-They're soft.

-They're light. Can you feel them?

-Yeah, I think Nicola needs to judge these.

Not my strong point, really.

Come and have a look at these things.

-There's t-shirts.

-T-shirts?

-Do you like that one?

-£5.

-£5.

-I like the colour.

-They are nice, aren't they?

-And these are pretty.

Yes, I'm not quite so enthusiastic about them.

-Which of these?

-Nightwear.

Oh, I think I'd like the plain pink, please.

'Joan is bright and understands a lot of things.'

She's still got a remarkable amount of marbles left.

Em, I don't think Hilda has the same awareness and everything,

but they're perfectly able to look after themselves and potter around.

I don't think they want to be cosseted and, you know, asked if they're all right all the time.

-Joan, did you want to do any more shopping?

-Not now.

-You happy now?

Yeah, I've finished.

We had a good time. We had a very good time.

But just as John thinks he's making some progress with the residents...

-What are you going to do now, Hilda? Going to have a little rest?

-Yes.

-Good idea.

..suddenly it's back to square one.

-Will you do the same, Joan?

-No, I have to go home and see my parents.

I've been away all day.

'I felt shocked, actually. Quite shocked.'

And a bit...a bit depressed. I ought to put the... be the devil's advocate and say

what the hell's the point of taking two old ladies out

if within 20 minutes, half an hour of getting back, they don't realise

-they were out in the first place?

-It's about quality of life. It doesn't matter if they forget.

-If you can just get that short link one day...

-It's worth it?

-It's worth it.

It's like somebody suddenly holding up a mirror in front of me

and saying, "That's what you're going to be like."

'It is frightening, dementia, for some people, you know.'

So I want him to be able to go past that. If you spend that time and be with that person,

you can help their wellbeing immensely.

According to the proverb, which day never comes?

When she chose her mum's care home, Lesley looked for a place with plenty of mental stimulation

and a choice of activities every day.

Today the only activity Hillview has the resources to lay on is a quiz.

In medicine, haematology studies the physiology of what?

Now if you don't get that one...

'This is quite a small care home, so there's not a lot of activities.

'There tends to be one a day.'

No lip reading! Some of the ladies are really good at that.

As well as working as a carer, Kayleigh doubles up as the activities leader,

-with the job of keeping 48 residents entertained.

-In the animal kingdom,

is a gnat catcher a bird or a reptile?

What sort of activities do you set?

Obviously, I suppose, in the winter months it's really hard to get them outside, isn't it?

We do a lot of indoor activities. Quizzes, bingo, arts and crafts.

-I'm trying to get chair aerobics starting again.

-I'm surprised you don't do exercise classes.

That to me is one of the most important things. Do you have a minibus to take residents out in?

No, we don't have a minibus here. If any resident wants to go out,

there's always staff to go with them, but the resident has to pay for the transport themselves.

How does it work, then? Presumably you have quite a restrictive, or maybe a big budget

-for the activities?

-I usually have a budget of around £100 a month.

They give me extra money for bigger events like the summer fete.

'The budget for a month

'is £100. That seemed to be very little to get entertainers in,

'to get exercise co-ordinators in, to get music people in,'

to get art materials for an art class.

£3 a day for 50 people's activities doesn't seem a lot.

I would have thought double that would be probably more like it.

Are we ready?

MUSIC: "Rock Around The Clock"

Over at Tony's care home, the charity provides ample stimulation for the residents.

But after spending most of the morning in bed, Donald's decided to stay in his room.

-Oh, you've got visitors. Sorry.

-Hello. My name is Malcolm.

-Hello, Malcolm.

-And you're Tony.

-You all right?

-I'm fine, yeah. How are you now?

-I'm just sort of trying to relax.

Having had that fall, I'd rather not be too active this morning.

-Well, I'll leave you on your own this afternoon, with your mates.

-My mates, yes.

-Have a good afternoon.

-See you, guys.

-See you. Bye.

It's a really lousy old day,

Don's fallen over.

I felt really positive when I went to bed last night. I don't really feel like that now.

I'll be stuck in here for the whole day!

The rehab team at Hoylake have been back to check on Dennis.

Dennis is feeling a lot better.

-He's had a good rest in bed.

-Yes, he's bounced back.

We'll be having a home visit this afternoon.

-OK, off we go.

-After six weeks in the care home, Dennis is about to have his assessment.

-Today he'll find out if he's fit enough to move back into his own home yet.

-Are you a bit nervous?

-A bit apprehensive, yes.

-Are you?

-But lots of people feel like that.

-I'll be all right.

-You'll do fine.

'His spirits were rock bottom.'

I don't know whether he thought, "This is it. I'm in here now and that's my lot."

But I said, "No. Between us, we'll get you back on your feet and you'll come back home to us."

If Dennis is still struggling to cope at home, he'll need to return for a longer stay in rehab.

'It's very emotional for me, but...I am trying to hold it together.'

But he'll be all right. I'm sure he'll be all right once he gets home.

I'll just be glad to see him, that's all.

-The next hour is crucial.

-You all right, Dennis?

-OK.

-All right.

The rehab team will be assessing Dennis on his ability to move safely around his house.

Good man.

-Hello!

-Ivy has no idea about Dennis's dizzy spell this morning.

-Wrong leg that was.

-Oh, Dennis.

-Wrong leg.

-That's quite a high step, isn't it?

-It is.

-Well played.

-I wasn't too good this morning.

- Why? - I got out of bed all wobbly.

- Oh, dear. - A bit dizzy.

-Shall we go to the bedroom?

-OK.

-Try you on and off your bed.

Getting in and out of bed is the main thing because I can only help him so much.

I can't do that for him.

-Will I lie down?

-Yeah, let's see you getting on your bed. Wow. Excellent.

-Have you ever tried a bed lever?

-No.

-OK. Maybe we can try it.

-What is a bed lever?

It's for somebody who is struggling to get from lying to sitting. It can help in that respect.

-Can you hold that? This is what I do.

-This is what you do.

Oops.

-I don't do that.

-Where did you go there?

-It was lower than I thought it was.

-OK, OK. All right. Get a breath.

OK.

-No, it's not going to work.

-Dennis, what about this rail?

No.

After 20 minutes, it's clear that Dennis is not fit enough to go home quite yet.

'There are a few further tasks that we need to...'

-Yeah.

-..work on. Just to make him as safe as possible.

'He's been building up to this for quite a while, really.'

Now it's sort of, "Ooh!"

This is the reality of what's happened.

-What adjustment would you make in the bathroom?

-So far I'd possibly fit a toilet frame around the toilet

and possibly get it floor-fixed.

'I am hoping it's going to work. We'll just see.'

We could laugh about this in a few weeks' time, couldn't we? And say, "Remember that...?"

Hopefully, we will.

'It was a bit of a shock, I must say, when he didn't quite make it over that step with his leg

'and he did buckle a little bit. That must be very disappointing for him.'

You were good today the way you just said, "I know I've got to do a bit more work on this leg."

-You're being very realistic and honest, aren't you?

-I'll be there in the summer.

John's meeting Joan's daughter, Ann, who often comes to visit her mum at the care home

and looked after her mum at home until she was no longer able to cope.

I got really tired and stressed and it was so difficult. She got cross with me and aggressive.

It's a horrible illness and you don't wish it on anybody, but if people are going to live to this age

we owe it to them, really, to make their life fulfilled. We've got to, if possible,

-provide this sort of quality...

-It's got to be decent.

-I couldn't bear for Mum to be sitting all day

just doing nothing. I think that's an awful way to treat people.

She could go on for a long time. She'll be 90 next year.

The difficult bit might be if she gets worse. That's partly why I do loads of photographs with her.

All the time we do, because we go back right to her childhood and she knows who everybody is

and where they are, what they're doing, which I think keeps a little bit of the memory alive.

A quarter of an hour is useless.

For the first time, John's feelings about living with dementia are changing.

It's lovely to see that coming to a place like this doesn't have to be the end of the family relationship.

It can still continue, under different circumstances.

So that's a big, big thing for me to have seen that.

-Now where are we?

-I don't know where this is. Must be one of the big rooms upstairs.

I can't see these without my glasses.

'I think what I've learnt probably most of all today is'

how valuable, how worthwhile it is

'to work with people with dementia.'

Do you...? How about my glasses?

-Then I shall have to peer.

-Oh, they're quite good.

-Are they? Well, you can't have them!

'I suppose before I thought'

they're finished, really, as human beings. They're sucked oranges

'and there's just the outer signs of what they once were.'

And so actually, frankly, not much point in doing anything with them.

I've now come to realise how wrong that is. That person is still there, somewhere.

If only you can just find the way of reaching, reaching through.

-I can't see them. They're too small and I've got no glasses.

-Oh, I see.

-Cos a certain person has my glasses.

-It's one of them.

-No, you!

-Me? I haven't got your glasses.

-You have!

-Would you like a cup of tea before bed?

-That would be great.

It's nearing the end of their second day in care homes.

-We'll speak tomorrow. OK.

-Thank you.

-OK. Good night.

He's nice, isn't he? Very kind.

And I appreciate that.

But Tony's decided he's had enough of his.

I've done a runner!

I've broken free. I couldn't last two whole days.

It just drove me bonkers.

It's terrible, isn't it? That is a very, very good care home.

I'm casting no aspersions on it at all, but just to be cooped up for so long in the same place

with no expectation of any surprises during the course of the day.

I just... I just found that so difficult.

It's just the whole notion

of being...stuck in there

from now until the end of my life is horrendous.

And I couldn't last one and a half days!

Pathetic!

Up in Middlesbrough, it's now two nights on the trot in front of the telly for Lesley.

-Does anybody know what we're watching?

-Nobody cares what we're watching.

-You might not.

-You shut up.

-I won't shut up.

'It's actually made me feel quite uncomfortable being here.

'Some homes will not have the level of care that you get here'

because that is very, very high. But nobody goes on little adventures any more

maybe because they don't have a minibus, or because they have to rely on a family member.

Maybe it's a financial thing that they have to get a taxi. I feel claustrophobic.

I want to open the front door and breathe and that's why I...

if I'm absolutely honest I just want to run back to London and scoop my mother up.

What's this?

Oh, cranberry juice.

I'll have a quick cup of tea and I shall get up.

I've really found this very difficult. I didn't expect to at all.

I'm not sure whether it's to do with the fact that, em...

my mum died in a space so similar. I can't tell you how similar this room is to the one

where she spent her last... eight years.

After making a run for it the night before, there's only one thing on Tony's mind -

he wants to do it again, but this time with his mate.

'I have this vague idea it might be possible to take a few people to lunch, particularly Don,

'who hasn't gone on a trip at all.'

But yesterday was not a great day. He fell over and lost an enormous amount of confidence

and really buried into himself. I don't want to push him.

Tony's found a new way to get around his home and he's keen to show off his new toy to Donald.

I've lost where I'm going to!

Hi, Donald!

I'm going through the experience. Do you fancy the pub for lunch?

It's very nice of you. I wouldn't mind that at all, but...

-And we could have a good bottle of wine.

-Yes, that would be a very nice change, Tony.

-That's very kind of you.

-Excellent. Right, I'll leave you to get ready.

-It's all done with that one control?

-It is, yeah. I can't recommend this too highly.

-Well done. Bye for now.

At short notice, the care home has laid on a minibus to take the gang to the pub.

Donald? Is this the first time you've been in this bus?

-Yes, indeed.

-So you haven't actually been out anywhere up 'til now?

-No. I haven't been here very long.

Three weeks!

-I'd have climbed out the window by now.

-Oh, it is three weeks, yes.

-How time flashes by!

-Ha!

That's it. The White Lion on the right.

'I don't think being here I'm going to be able to help Donald very much.

'I'm not going to speed in here and ease his transformation

'from his independence to being in a care home.

'There's only one person who can do that and that's himself.'

-Would a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape go down all right?

-Yes.

-It would go down extremely well.

-Cheers, gentlemen.

-Oh, cheers, yes.

To many happy years.

Don,

how do you feel as a man

who has been pretty independent for most of his life

to be in a situation where actually you have to hand over that independence to other people

who are going to tell you what to do and not to walk with the sticks and all those things?

Well, obviously I feel sorry about it and I'm reluctant to let it go,

but I think you've just got to accept the situation as it presents itself to you.

How does it feel, knowing that you'll probably spend the rest of your days

-in an environment which isn't your own?

-Resignation rather is the word!

-Yes.

-Resigned to it.

-Yes, yes.

To try and make life as fulfilling as possible and keep your independence for as long as possible

and go out places.

Do as much as you can and keep as active you can as long as you can.

-Yeah, that's my view, too.

-Yeah.

Once we get back,

do you think I might be able to persuade you to try my motorised car?

-Well, I wouldn't mind trying it, I must admit.

-Good.

-Well...

-You get on all right with yours.

-You like yours.

-I do. I wouldn't be without it.

-Half past four for a little burn-up on the corridor?

-Right-o.

-Surely.

-Probably illegal, but we'll do that.

-Yeah.

'The question that I've kept asking myself since I first came in here has been how would I be

'when I come here.

'And what I've got from Vic and Don, and they've been absolutely open, is the same word - resignation.

'I would just like to hope that there is more to the end of our days than simply resignation.'

Anybody else know My Old Man?

Shall I pass down the words?

With no minibus to call on, actor and panto performer Lesley

-has tried to come up with her own affordable way of stimulating the residents.

-Do you know My Old Man?

-A singsong.

-One, two, three.

# My old man said follow the van

# And don't dilly dally on the way... #

For Lesley, low budget may not directly affect the quality of care at Hillview,

but she can't help feeling that something is missing.

'In my view, the role of a care home is to give care to somebody who can no longer care for themselves,

'but also a place where the mind is stimulated.'

It's not a place where people will just sit and wait for death.

And I suppose in a way one would like to think that every care home could do everything it needed,

but it's making sure that they are still excited to wake up in the morning and see what's ahead.

# ..when you can't find your way home! #

Is it possible for me to in and out this door for a walk?

I want to be up and out. I can't get out anywhere.

If I get out, I can't get in.

I can't even get up to my husband!

Or my...my stepmother. My mother.

-Come on.

-They're only...

They're in the...in the...

ground. I can't get in and out.

-I'm sorry...

-I don't want to take anything out. Or pinch anything.

-Do you want some company? Can I come with you?

-By all means.

-Then I can take you and show you what I'm doing.

-OK. Show me.

-I didn't ask my parents to go and die.

-No, I know.

She's a bit upset.

-Hello!

-I can't get at it. I can't pinch things. I don't want things. I can't drive a car.

-I'll tell you where I want to go first today.

-Yes, where?

-It's to see my brother's grave.

-He's dead.

-Yes, my darling.

Why do they keep me alive?

Come inside, eh?

'Yeah, it was a bit upsetting. It was hard to listen to, hard to take,

'but it's part of the disease, I suppose.'

It just cuts right to the heart, doesn't it?

And to think of somebody being that old and that alone.

It happens that the place where she's living out her life is a very nice one,

but it doesn't take away the pain. Poor old thing.

I lead this weird life where I go chasing round the globe all the time and, of course,

you miss out on family and when I come here

and I see these things and I see people fading away,

I think, you know,

got to get in there and be with them

and not just let...not just think, "Oh, well, I can't do anything this month, but maybe next month.

"Not this year, maybe next year."

Well, there aren't... I'm 67 and I haven't got that many years to go

and, you know, I want to see these people that are important to me.

Are you ready? Yeah, come on, Peter Fonda.

Okey-doke?

-I don't know how I sit on it. Can that go up for a moment?

-It can.

-Oh, it's going...

-Hey!

-You're in. Are you all right?

-I'm all in one piece.

He needs to have his feet up.

That's it. Excellent.

This is quite interesting.

Steve?

-You're doing really well, Don. Fantastic.

-I could run you down at any moment.

-I'll leap out the way!

-Yeah.

-Very good.

'If he decides to continue using that little car,

'I think it's going to help him enormously here.

'He'll come out of his room more and maybe engage a bit more in the activities.'

-He's doing very well.

-Does it surprise you?

-Yes.

I've seen people do this before for the first time and be completely hopeless.

-Today's been... a day of novel experiences, as far as I'm concerned.

-In what way?

Well, I'd never been on the bus before, I haven't been to one of the pub lunches before.

And I haven't been in an electric wheelchair before, so they're all new to me.

Quite interesting, though, and...

a damn good lunch, I must admit.

Yeah, I'm really pleased that he took the plunge

and came away saying, "That was really rather good fun."

And he's actually prepared to get on board and drive back. He seems to be looking rather forward to it.

So...yeah, I felt good about that.

It's quite an enjoyable experience.

It beats walking! Yeah, yeah.

I'm just going to go now, everybody, so bye!

Goodbye!

After their short stay in care homes, it's time for the four visiting pensioners to go home.

-You feeling a bit better today?

-A headache today.

-Bit of a headache?

Oh, dear.

-I hope you make it home soon.

-Thank you.

-Did you waken up with the headache?

-I did, yes.

I think I've a cold in the head.

'Maybe for the first time I realised that if somebody'

is on his or her own and they don't have any family

and you do become weak, I can see

that it must be a relief in some ways to come to a place like this.

But on the other hand I'm just going to pray that I can keep as fit and well as I can

and somebody else might fulfil my wish of keeping me at home.

It's a real pleasure to see you.

'It's changed my views to the extent that I can see how it could be really quite pleasant

'to be in a care home like this.'

-Thank you. Look after yourself.

-Thank you.

'And just gradually sort of drift out of...out of life.'

Thank you, Joan, for being lovely company. 'What it boils down to'

is if this happens to me, this is my pathway in the future,

'it isn't something to be terrified of.'

Bye, Arthur. Bye-bye.

Despite realising the value of care for someone like Donald,

Tony's core conviction remains.

'I would argue vociferously that care homes ought to be as good as possible,

'that they ought to be funded both by government, by local authorities and by charities

'well enough so that every old person in the country who requires a place in a care home

'should get one of the highest level possible,

'and yet and yet and yet...I'd also argue can we find strategies to keep people in the home

'rather than getting them into care homes? I don't feel we're trying to find a solution hard enough.'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd