Episode 8 Don't Tell the Bride USA

On this episode of Don't Tell The Bride, Joe and Cristin are tying the knot.

But this wedding will be like nothing you're ever seen because it's being planned

by the person you'd least expect.

The groom.

We've given Joe 25,000 to spend...

MEN CHEER

-Let's do the 50% off dance.

-50% off dance.

..but just three short weeks to plan the entire wedding...

Could we make that in the shape of like a football?

Flowers are a tough thing to make manly.

..with absolutely no input from his bride.

There is still some major fear that he's going to come out with this,

you know, manly wedding.

Plus, his only source of support, his groomsmen.

No more wedding talk for the night. Let's watch the game and play some games.

Joe is an overconfident sports fanatic.

What if we had a couple of baseballs stuck in there too?

Will his sports-themed wedding be a home run?

Maybe even an umpire could marry us?

Or will he strike out?

Sports theme wedding, not good.

-Can this man...

-I said from the start you've got to do something crazy.

..give this woman...

I'm an emotional wreck!

..the dream wedding she deserves?

People will show up and say, "Holy crap, I can't believe I'm at a baseball field having a wedding."

Meet Joe and Cristin from Worcester, Massachusetts.

They've been together for two-and-a-half years and are ready to get married.

Cris and I are both from Worcester, Massachusetts.

We both grew up in the area, Cristin specifically in Worcester.

I grew up in Shrewsbury.

We had known each other for a long time.

We reconnected at a place we like to go down the street here in Worcester, Mass.

I thought she was very pretty.

Half of our conversation took place about how

we still live in Worcester, how we still really enjoy living in Worcester.

Cristin told me that she was, you know, she was a fan of kind of the local teams.

I've kind of always been a sporty girl.

I played sports in high school so I know about them a lot.

Coming into the relationship with Joe

I never realised how much I would need to love sports.

Joe is obsessed with sports.

He likes football, basketball, baseball, hockey, golf.

I'd say his favourite sport is definitely basketball.

What I love about the Boston Celtics is the tradition,

the 17 championships.

That's probably the first team that I really gravitated towards

as a little kid because I loved basketball.

Joe's idea of a romantic evening would be

a candlelight dinner in front of the basketball game.

BOTH LAUGH

It does sound pretty romantic.

No romantic game nights for this sports fan

because he's moving out to plan their wedding over the next three weeks.

The most important aspect of this wedding is probably my wedding dress.

I really just want that to be something I remember.

Certainly the wedding dress is the thing

I probably understand the least about.

They're all just white dresses.

I mean, some of the things I think I could do to put my stamp

on this wedding is definitely have some sort of sporting theme.

I just can't picture it being a hard-core Boston sports wedding.

Sports-themed wedding, not good.

Hey come on, get out of here. Get off my stuff.

You think I'm going to do all right?

I think you'll do all right. Just keep er... keep focused.

Remember, just wedding, wedding, those are your thoughts.

I'm got to put my stamp on this thing, too.

That's what I'm a little worried about.

This day is really important to her.

She told me that when she was a little girl she remembers playing

wedding with her friends and practising walking down the aisle.

Let's all hug.

I love you so much.

I love you too, babe.

Making this wedding nice for Cristin is the most important thing in the world to me right now.

Don't screw this up.

THEY LAUGH

All right, Avery, you ready?

Bye.

Say bye to your mama.

-Oh, yeah.

-All right, I'll see you in three weeks.

I love you so much.

I love you too, babe. All right?

Bye-bye.

It was sad seeing Joe leave.

I just teared up a little bit.

Seeing him and Avery go, it's really hard.

For the next three weeks, Joe will be staying with his mom

and step-dad while he plans the wedding.

There we go.

Hello, hello!

Look who's home!

-Hello.

-I'm so happy.

Well, the boys will be here pretty soon and I, uh,

I'm relying on them for a lot of help.

I think the first thing we need to do is have a couple of drinks,

you know, then we'll get to the planning.

We've got plenty of time.

Oh, dear Lord. I think you're in for a rude awakening.

Hello!

Hey, hey, hey!

Joe's recruited an all-star line up to help him tackle this wedding.

Nick, he's my best man.

I've known Nick since we were three years old.

We've been friends forever and he knows that I respect his opinion

as much as he respects mine.

Brian is funny.

When he focuses, he'd be a good guy to have in my corner.

I am willing to help Joe in any way I can.

First things first is we got to relax a little bit.

-Have a little bit of fun, maybe through a few beers back here.

-OK.

Because we got... We do have some time. I mean, three weeks.

Yeah, that's plenty of time.

Yeah, I mean that's a lot, yeah.

What, you don't think it is?

I mean we've got... We can't just wait until week two.

Right.

I think we've got to nail down the venue.

-All right.

-That's priority one.

-Why don't we...

-All right.

-Do we have a pen and paper?

-Perfect, all right.

-Oh, look at this.

-Motherly love.

Boston Harbor, they do a wedding on a nice boat. That's pretty cool...

-Ooh, I like boats.

-..if it's a nice night out.

I don't know how many people get married at Fenway, but that's another idea.

A sports-themed wedding. Looks like Mom is mortified.

What's the exact day that you're looking to do this?

I think some time in...

-We're going to the Red Sox on the 17th so it can't be then.

-No, we're not.

-It's on Saturday.

-I don't think so.

-It is.

Really?

Ah, so the Red Sox are priority number one.

Then the wedding, got it.

Let's huddle in. I think we got a great day here.

Let's toast to this and we'll have a good first day's work.

All right, all right. No more wedding talk for the night.

-Let's watch the game and play some games.

-Let's go watch the game.

Sounds good to me.

Joe lets a couple of days slide

before he begins brainstorming with his groomsman Brian.

But what does football, golf, soccer and wiffle ball have to do with a wedding?

Here's what I'm thinking.

We got a baseball field here in Shrewsbury.

We all have some memories here. It is kind of pretty.

You got the backdrop of the water. It's picturesque.

You got the flag waving, the pine trees.

Cristin's a softball player.

You got a bunch of guys and girls that are huge sports fans, so why not really play this up?

Instead of going to this stuffy wedding when we're all in tight suits,

what better unique idea to do than to actually have it on a field?

A baseball wedding probably won't be a hit with your traditional bride, Joe.

Cristin jumps off the bench to visit her dream ceremony spot with two of her bridesmaids.

I feel like I'm in a dream. This place is absolutely beautiful.

Picture all the guests sitting here.

With the aisle draped with the cloth just like you were describing.

-With silks?

-Yeah.

-It's so nice.

I got an idea to help you kind of picture a little bit. Go over on the bench for me.

You're sitting on the bench. You're a groomsman.

"Now introducing one of the groomsmen,

"Brian Collins."

You come out, crowd's going wild. How do you feel right now?

Feel pretty good.

Yeah, see?

So picture me walking down the aisle with my mother and my brother

and stopping here.

Seeing Joe for the first time in three weeks.

Picture everybody kind of in the infield. We got all the chairs.

Cristin and I standing here right at home plate.

We could have like umpires here, maybe even an umpire could marry us.

It would just mean so much.

I feel like, you know, our rings are blessed, the wedding is blessed.

It's just going to be a magical moment to remember.

We could have like a seventh inning stretch.

Like, you know, with a little bit of time left in the wedding

everybody could get up and sing like you do at baseball games.

We could even get an organ playing some of the old favourites.

We could do things like...

"Take Me Out To The Ball Game?"

ORGANIST PLAYS WEDDING MUSIC

-If we get some Cracker Jacks.

-No.

-Peanuts. Has anyone been throwing peanuts?

-Peanuts, we could do that.

We can execute this.

People will show up to the Tagman-Houlihan wedding and say,

"Holy crap, I can't believe I'm at a baseball field having a wedding."

And that's what I'm looking for.

They might say, "Holy crap, I can't believe I'm at a baseball field having a wedding."

A baseball wedding ceremony?

Oh, say it ain't so, Joe.

With the wedding just 17 days away,

and no decisions made,

Joe and his groomsmen fish for his dream wedding dinner.

A clambake?!

Clambake's a cool idea for my wedding because it's real New England.

I mean, it's real authentic, what people do as a treat.

And if I'm looking to try to treat my guests,

I think a clambake might be a solid idea.

Put our bibs on.

Will this bib match Cristin's dress?

You ever eaten a lobster before?

-Not with a bib.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Ah, you just, you put your arms through each one of these.

-You serious?

-Yeah.

Shut the hell up!

-All right, this is a one-and-a-half-pound lobster.

-Wow.

That's a one-and-a-eighth-pound lobster over there.

My biggest fear for the wedding is that we're going to have a clambake.

I just do not want anything like that.

I want to sit there in my beautiful dress and not have to worry

about getting butter or fish sauce on my outfit.

-Pretty good.

-It's all right.

Cristin might not like the idea of lobster?

Give her a champagne toast and a couple glasses of wine,

she won't be worried other people cracking lobster guts all over them.

Lobster is a great idea, Joe. Except Cristin will hate it.

Plus you'll have to shell out too many clams.

The next day, Joe and Nick continue venue hunting.

Their first stop is...

a marvellous mansion on hallowed grounds -

White Cliffs, which give Nick the creeps.

All right.

Wow, is it haunted?

Wow, holy moly.

This is crazy.

Where is anyone. Hello?

-Hello.

-Hello, Annemarie?

-Are you Joe?

-Yes?

-Pleasure to meet you.

-Nice to finally meet you, too.

-Is it haunted?

-It is not!

It seems like it is, like a haunted mansion or something.

-I promise it's not haunted.

-No!

While the boys put their fears to rest...

-If it was haunted, would I be here?

-That's true.

-I would be like, "We can leave the place open, no alarms."

-Right.

Cristin and her maid of honour look at her dream haunt, just for fun.

-Hi.

-Hi! David Mebiano. Welcome to the Omni-Parker House.

Ladies, feast your eyes. This is table number 40.

-The reason it's famous is this is where John F Kennedy proposed to Jackie Onassis.

-Oh!

Jen, this is what I've been talking about. This is it.

-This is gorgeous. This is everything you've wanted or talked about.

-It really is.

The views of Boston. Imagine this at night.

-And music right by the dance floor.

-Ideal.

I think a simple set-up would be pretty good.

I don't want - I don't know - screens along the back wall.

Oh, wow.

These would come down. You'll see those throughout the building.

Do these open from the inside?

If there were rowdy guests, could we pop them in here and pull the storm door down.

-Certainly.

-OK.

Look at the different berries on each champagne glass.

I hope Joe will picture something like this.

There is still some major fear that he's going to come out with this, you know, manly wedding

that I'm going to walk into and just not even know what to say.

-Have you been to the arcade and they have mini hoop shots?

-Yeah.

-Would that be a good spot?

You can do whatever you want, it's your day, you're the groom.

Wait, can you say that again?! I love that. What was that again?

You can do, Joe, whatever you want, it's your day, you're the groom.

Oh, you're the best, Annemarie!

What do you think, Nick? Cocktail hour here, basketball hoops there?

The unhaunted mansion leaves the boys in good spirits,

but they have one more venue to see.

Luciano's seems like a classy place.

I think an outdoor wedding could be beautiful.

My biggest fear about the venue is it'll probably be outside.

This is the way that she'd walk down and this is where the actual ceremony's going to take place.

-It's really pretty out here.

-It is.

I'm not the kind of girl who likes being outside.

I don't like humidity. I don't like certain weather.

I'm a big basketball guy, I love basketball.

So I thought, you know those little hoop shot things?

Would that be something I could do in here?

Yeah, if you could find a place that you think that it wouldn't

interfere with broken glass or balls in food and stuff like that.

No balls in food, got it.

And this is the ballroom.

-And this is the ballroom.

-Ooh, I love the floor already.

-Yeah.

Like the parquet. I feel like I'm on a basketball court.

The two of you feel comfortable sitting at a sweetheart table?

A sweetheart table, does that mean all eyes are on me? Yeah, I like that.

CLINKS GLASS

-You know what happens after that?

-No.

-You guys have to kiss every time.

-Really?

My knife will be going crazy that day.

When you clink glasses the bride and groom are supposed to kiss.

Nick seemed really into it for some reason.

-Why, you like seeing me and Cristin kiss?

-Centre of attention.

You enjoy that for some reason?

OK. Awkward.

I think within this whole process I'm around the six or seventh inning.

But, like any person that follows sports knows, it can change in a heartbeat.

Joe and his groomsmen check out another location -

the botanical gardens.

This is the first ceremony location you could choose.

It's called the lawn garden.

Look at this view. This is perfect right here.

Maybe after the ceremony we could get a little wiffle ball game going.

Bring it back old style.

-There we go.

-Home runs over the trees.

-No ball playing is allowed.

-No ball playing? It's like home. It's just like home.

-Yes. Exactly.

-Our mums will like that rule, that's for sure.

-You're going to have to put on your grown up clothes.

-Ahhh.

These are grown up clothes, right?

There is nothing grown up about those.

The other location for a ceremony is down here in this lower garden called the secret garden.

Can I take a stab that that might be a nice little area for the cocktail hour.

No, you may not.

You're 0 for 2.

That definitely looks like a great, um, photo shoot spot.

-You're very photogenic, Joe.

-Thank you.

-You are with this yellow shirt, too.

-You think so?

-Oh, yeah.

-I think so, too.

We're very colourful today.

This is called the Limonaia, where we would hold the ceremony

-if we had to pull it inside due to bad weather.

-OK.

-Wow.

-Pretty spectacular.

It is very pretty, here.

It does have a little bit of a churchy feel to it.

All right, this is really nice, but the important question is, how far away are we from the party room?

-I am sensing that the party is important to you.

-It's definitely important.

-And this is where dinner and dancing will take place.

-OK.

-Come on in and see the grandeur.

-You can seat 150 guests with a dance floor.

-OK.

One of the things I'm kind of envisioning is different lighting and things like that.

Have any other couples done that?

The only thing to remember here is set-up here is between four and six. We can't do anything during the day.

-And it has to removed by 12:30, an hour after the wedding.

-OK.

There was just a lot of stuff that I guess, if you are planning weddings, is important

-but to me, I mean, I want to throw a kick ass party.

-Do you bring in a wooden floor?

-That's a great question. We dance right on this surface.

-On this surface? OK.

Would a DJ be allowed to bring in any type of floor?

Only because I look at these and again I'm thinking...

In order for me to get psyched up for this I have to think like a girl a little bit.

If I was a girl and I looked at this and I was wearing my nice shoes,

I'd be worried about getting stuck in one of these and having to live at the Botanic Gardens.

At a wedding last week they brought in baskets of flip flops and everyone changed their shoes.

Ohhh. And a lot of girls do do that.

A lot of girls bring flats because they go, "Oh, my feet hurt."

That actually isn't a bad idea. That could be some sort of favour.

Why don't you write that down because I know you've taken a ton of notes today so far.

Flip flops.

-Yeah. What have you got so far?

-What else you got over there?

-What else for the day?

-What else is on there, Nick?

-Flip flops and iPad.

-You don't even have Botanical Gardens on here?

-He's struggling a bit with notes.

Another thing to write down -

if you want to have a wedding you need to actually chose a venue, Joe.

-Thanks for showing us around.

-Great to meet you and good luck with this amazing project.

-OK.

-Bye, guys.

-All right, bye.

-See you.

One week down and no points on the board,

Joe and Nick meet graphic designer friend, Mary, to discuss invitations.

-So I'm thinking, maybe these invitations have something to do with sports, so that...

-Oooh.

What? You don't think that's a good idea?

I don't know if Cristin would like that.

It's going to make her panic a bit, but I have a lot of panic to do

in the next two weeks, so why not let her panic?

Passive aggression - the foundation of a successful marriage(!)

Get a blank slate and just imagine.

-And just think, "Joe."

-Yeah.

-And a little bit of Cristin.

Yeah, yeah, at least at this stage.

What about something like a ticket?

You know, like they give you for the game.

-Like have the ticket presenting...

-Whoa, that's cool.

Joe Tagman vs Cristin Houlihan, The boxing match.

Yeah, versus, you guys against each other.

Whoa, I'm not boxing. But no, I like the ticket idea.

Something like that. That looks like a ticket.

That looks more like a rectangle.

It'll be something with us probably next to each other, with maybe my arm around her.

This one's Cristin, she's not really sure whether she's happy yet.

Well I get your idea but I might, you know, make it prettier and change it up a little bit.

Cristin loves bows.

Like if we did a basketball and then you did a bow.

-So it would kind of look like...

-That's ridiculous.

-What, like a... Why?

You want to put a bow on a basketball?

I mean, obviously the theme of this thing is to not tell the bride.

-Yeah.

-So if we did, like...

"I hope you're all ready to come along for the ride, but everyone remember, don't tell the bride."

Hey, that's the name of the show.

-I'll write that down.

-That is gold.

-Somebody might steal it.

-Before we forget.

-OK, so what was it?

With Mary designing the invitations for free,

Joe only pays 213 for the supplies.

It's just 12 days till the wedding.

Joe and Nick meet Chris to finally shop for Cristin's wedding dress.

-Hi.

-We're here to shop for some wedding dresses.

-Can I aim you in the direction of what you're looking for?

-Sure.

Um, we're looking for a wedding dress!

I know very little about wedding dresses.

I know that it's going to be white.

Is it something you want to see her in

or is it something you're picking out so she'll be happy?

-A little bit of both, right?

-Yeah, probably a bit of both.

-I think I have a pretty good sense of what her style is, so...

-You do?

When I buy Cristin things, she likes them.

Joe buys me gifts and sometimes they are a little bit off the mark.

So I have some good confidence going into this.

That might be a big issue for the wedding because I tell him that I love these gifts.

I'm not sure exactly if Joe really knows my style.

-This is...

-Yeah, here we go buddy, huh?

-Pick out a dress.

-They all kinda look...

-Don't they all look the same?

Unwilling to be ejected from the wedding dress game,

Cristin and her bridesmaids try on gowns just for fun.

I'd say I'm a wedding dress connoisseur.

I've been dreaming of my wedding dress my entire life.

-This is our Oscar de la Renta. One of the bestsellers.

-Beautiful.

As far as the veil, there's fingertip.

You could wear a pill box hat. You can have a birdcage.

You might as well be speaking another language.

-OK, you want me to dumb it down?

-Yeah, yeah. Dumb it down!

We don't need the big, fancy words.

-This is a Paloma Blanca.

-How much is that one, Janet?

-If my memory serves me correct, around 2,850.

-Wow.

Yeah. It's not about the money. It's about how you want her to look.

-It is.

-No, it's not.

The bride looks forward to her day since she's been five years old.

Oh, OK. It's beautiful.

Very big!

The train is gorgeous.

I mean, that's a stunning dress, but you don't even look happy.

I feel if I was dancing you wouldn't even be able to tell.

You'd be moving inside the dress. No ball gowns for Cristin.

Joe, no ball gown for Cristin!

-How's that?

-Not bad, actually.

You could do a pill box.

If you had a pill box...

You looked shocked. I like that.

-Isn't that a little snug?

-Yeah.

If you're not as comfortable even in the way you're standing,

-it's not the perfect wedding dress.

-It's not for me.

I really don't like the mermaid style, it's too tight, too fitted at the bottom.

I want to be comfortable. I want to be able to move my legs.

Now boys, this is the one you did not want to see her in.

-Oh, see his face?

-That one I didn't like at all, but...

-This is...

-I like that.

This is, believe it or not, a mermaid fit.

I like that one a lot, Janet.

You threw me a curveball here, Janet.

-This is a little bit bigger. Definitely a different style.

-Yes.

Something about this I really like.

It's regal. You look like a Princess.

It's nothing everyone has.

The wedding dress is so important to me. When you think of a wedding, you think of the dress.

-Girls, this is my perfect dress.

-Oooh, that's nice.

It's really important I get the dress right.

The dress has been one of the most important things to her

and this is probably the thing that scares me the most about this whole process.

-All right, let's ring it up.

-OK.

-I like it, I like it.

-We have a winner.

-We've got to make a decision on this. We've got do this.

There was a ton of me that wanted to walk out of there today and say,

"I'll think about it," but I don't really have time to think about it.

What was I going to do when I walked out - remember something different?

Maybe not, Joe.

But buying that mermaid dress could be a costly error.

The next day, Joe decides on a venue over drinks.

What could go wrong?

I think we should crunch some numbers and then figure out exactly what decision needs to be made.

White Cliffs, things I didn't like was that it was really inside.

There was no sense of being outside.

I didn't love where you walk in and where Cristin would have walked in,

-kind of would have looked weird.

-Mmm-hmm.

Lake Pearl, positives were it was beautiful. It was a cool site.

I mean, everything from the ballroom with the parquet floor to where the ceremony was.

That floor just looked perfect.

It was just like a hard wood gymnasium floor, ready to play a game of hoops on.

Come on, guys, this is a wedding, you're not marrying Larry Bird.

The one that I liked the most is... Luciano's at Lake Pearl.

If my wedding's outside, I am not really going to like it.

An outdoor wedding would not be ideal for me.

Joe locks in Luciano's with an outdoor ceremony for 11,614.

It's nine days until the wedding.

With the venue and dress booked, Joe and his groomsmen go tux shopping.

The challenge is to make us look as good as we feel today.

-I can do that.

-All right, perfect.

I really hope that Joe has picked a traditional black tux for himself.

I don't think I've ever tried on a white tux.

-Do you have any of these here that I can try on?

-I do.

You can try on you want. Let's get you in the back room and put some things on.

Um, I'm not sure Cristin will love this Boston Celtics colour scheme?

Wow, Joey!

Hold on, stay right there, buddy, let me get a little shot.

-You got it?

-Let me get a full frontal.

-I haven't seen it yet, let me at least look in the mirror.

-All right.

-What do you think about the white?

-The white is definitely very different.

-Sharp.

-It is sharp.

So what would be different between the groom and the groomsmen?

Well, we can do the groomsmen in the same set-up, but black coat.

-Black coat and Joey wears the white?

-That makes it a little...

Like the Captain, yeah, there you go.

-Captain, I like that. Do you have any hats?

-I do.

-Are you really going to wear a hat?

-I might. Oh, here we go.

Do not pass go, do not collect 200!

So, the hat doesn't work?

Thank you for this fabulous hat.

In terms of price, what could you do for me and six of my groomsmen?

I can give it to you for 35% off.

If you go 50, I'll get 'em.

Can we go 50, please? Please Gina, please?

-OK.

-We've got a deal?

-We can do that.

All right, I'm fired up. Let's get it in here.

One, two, three...yeah!

-Let's do the 50% off dance.

-The 50% off dance.

Yeah!

On the agenda today is picking out the bridesmaids' dresses.

I'm Joe.

Just like taking a band-aid off, let's get this over with as fast as possible.

-The colour I'm looking at - green, emerald green.

-OK.

-So a bit of a darker green, kind of the Irish type of thing.

-All right.

So you're sticking with the Boston Celtics colour scheme?

How romantic(!)

We have a sample dress, it's in certain style

and a certain colour, but you can choose your colours.

So all these are different, huh?

Looks more like a nightgown.

Kind of feels like a pool cover. Uh-oh, and here they are.

-Hey!

-Hey, what's going on?

Team Cristin arrives to model bridesmaids' dresses for Joe.

-You guys going to be nice to me?

-Are you going to be nice to us?

When the girls walked in I could see the look on their face,

already wondering what I had done and I hadn't even done anything yet.

Come on out.

I like that one.

Geez, they all look so pretty, maybe it's just the models.

-Is that one comfortable?

-No.

Nobody is even looking at me now.

They're all just looking away. Come on, ladies.

-You know what might make it easier for you?

-A drink?

A drink, that would actually start.

I tried to judge a little bit by their facial reactions,

but every reaction they gave me was...

So, I got nothing.

All right, no more procrastination, Joe, you've just got to pick one of these...

All right, I'm going to go with this one.

Overall, I feel good that the dress-picking part is over.

-Thank you, Jen.

-Thank you.

I want to keep the girls in the dark about the colour.

I don't want them squawking about it amongst themselves.

I don't want them telling Cristin.

Don't hate me.

And I didn't really want their opinion on it at that time, either.

Six Celtics uniforms - sorry, bridesmaid's dresses - for 1,378.

The wedding is just a week away

so Joe and best man, Nick, look at flowers.

I don't even know the first place to look in here.

-I need a special flower, you need a special flower.

-What kind? Do you know what kind?

Boutonnieres. Sometimes the women want one around their wrist or they want to hold one.

-Is that a "cra-sage"?

-I'm not too sure.

-A corsage?

-A corsage, that sounds familiar.

Flowers are really important to this whole process.

I didn't realise how much goes into it and everything you need, until today.

I'll tell you what my style is a little bit - I love sports.

-I can make you the Bruins sign.

-OK.

-I could do the Red Sox.

But can you make the Celtics?

-I'm delivering a couple weddings today - you want to go and see 'em?

-Yeah, let's check 'em out.

Meanwhile Cristin and her maid of honour, Jen, hone in on her ideal flower arrangements.

-When I think of a wedding I think of roses.

-OK.

I really love blue hydrangeas, roses,

maybe an arrangement with both.

So something king of classic as opposed to funky and unusual?

Classy, elegant, yeah. Definitely!

This is exactly what I would want for my wedding.

I think it's perfect. I think it's so pretty.

These here are boutonnieres that the guys pin on their shirts.

-Could I do something a little bit more manly?

-Yeah.

-All right.

-You can pick out anything you like.

That's a cascade.

Could we make that in the shape of a football?

-Yeah.

-If that's what I wanted...

-If that's what you want.

-Walking down the aisle, she'd be carrying a football.

-Uh-huh.

-That might be different.

-It would.

What if we had a couple baseballs tucked in there too?

-Could you can work around baseballs or something?

-Absolutely, it'd be fun.

Flowers are a tough thing to make manly.

I definitely want to put something sports into the flowers to make it my own.

Now Joe and groomsman Chris go to buy rings.

Hey, how's it going? I'm Joe.

-Joe. Nick.

-Nick, good to meet you, man.

-Chris.

-Nice to meet you both.

Chris is a groomsman and an agent. He's probably going to do

-a lot of the negotiations.

-OK.

-I'm all in one, I'm all exclusive.

What kind of agent? Like a...

Er, a wedding jewellery agent, as of today.

Well, it's nice to meet one.

I'm looking to get some wedding rings.

-I know that's an important part of the ceremony, isn't it?

-Yeah!

So these are our wedding bands.

I like those. Those are sharp.

-These are white tungsten.

-Let's check it out.

I'm afraid to put it on.

If you get it on, you'll be able to get it off.

-I don't know if it's going to come off.

-Just put it on.

-I don't want to!

-Then I'll put it on.

-All right. You put it on.

How about I put it on you? How about that?

-Nah, nah, nah.

-Why not?

It's just a step over the line that I don't feel like going.

Oh, boy.

If you like that style, this one here

is actually very popular and we sell a lot of that one.

What do you think about this one?

-That's interesting.

-I kinda like that one.

It's a very sharp look.

Every time you look down at it, you can think of me now.

-I don't think so.

-No?

You can get rid of those. I don't want to look at another.

This ring right here would probably make her the happiest

because it's got the most diamonds in it.

It's very nice and very sparkly, but unfortunately,

-I think it might just be a little out of my budget...

-What's your slogan, Joe?

-Uh...

-The more sparkles...

The more expensive.

-This is Carl Saks. He's my uncle.

-Hi, Carl. Pleased to meet you.

Pleased to meet you too. Hey, Chris. Nice to meet you.

I'm wondering what you could do for me for those two.

I think we can probably do these rings for you for 700 for the pair.

Just so I feel like I'm wheeling and dealing,

if you could do it for 650, we'll call it a deal today.

What do you think?

You're the boss.

Yeah, all right. You've got a deal.

-Excellent.

-Thank you.

-We appreciate it.

-You're welcome.

That was the first time in this three weeks,

that I've seen Joe legitimately nervous.

He was over those rings and I don't know if you could see the sweat.

-I could see the sweat coming down...

-I was sweating.

..and he was nervous.

'Yeah, I was nervous.'

I was definitely nervous in there. It was tough.

With five days to go,

Joe has a trick play to get Cristin to the wedding...

Thanks for meeting me, buddy.

..using his pal, Finz, the mascot of the Worcester Sharks Hockey Team.

So, here's the deal. I'm marrying my fiancee Cristin on Friday.

That will let them honeymoon at the Sox game on Saturday.

So I'm going to write an invitation out here

and I need you to hand deliver it to her.

Can you do that for me?

All right, I appreciate it, buddy. Let's get it written.

A wedding invitation on a basketball?!

Where's the romance in that?

Oh, there's the romance(!)

Plus, what I'm doing, Finz, is I kind of have a sports theme to this.

I know you're a hockey guy, but I figured you might be able

to deliver this basketball for me.

Don't let anybody see you.

Yeah!

Oh, my goodness!

It's Finz!

Oh, my God!

'When I opened the door I saw Finz,'

I was shocked,

'I was speechless.'

Awww, guys.

What does it say?

"Cristin, I can't wait any more to marry you, the girl of my dreams.

"On 9/16/11 at 6pm Xoxo..."

I'm an emotional wreck.

Yay!

Finz is dancing!

I need to take this all in. This is so much.

So, is it a relief, though? It must be a big weight off your shoulders.

I'm hoping that this is not

'a sports-themed wedding and the basketball invitation'

is definitely scaring me a lot.

'I think I'm just too overwhelmed.'

I can't do this.

He's holding a basketball and he plays hockey.

Which very much confused us.

What does that mean?

Sports.

I'm screwed.

BLEEP

Only two days until the wedding, Cristin continues to worry

about Joe's sports-themed wedding with her mom and maid of honour.

This beautiful wedding could be the opposite of what you wanted.

-Exactly.

-Anything, we think.

-KNOCKING ON DOOR

-Oh, I'll get it.

Hello?

How are ya? Oh, my God!

SHRIEKING

Joe used their dog Avery to deliver an important message.

"Take some time to relax and get ready

"for tonight's bachelorette party.

"Tell the girls to meet at Junior's at 7.45."

Ain't no party like a bachelor party!

Hey, Joey!

Meanwhile, the boys meet up at Chris's house

to kick off the bachelor party.

Congratulations, brother. To many years, let's go!

Woo! Here we go.

All right, let's do it.

LAUGHTER

So, we're going to stop for beers.

The girls follow Joe's plan

and begin the bachelorette party at Junior's.

Guys, look.

SCREAMING

Cristin, my name is Andrew. I'm your driver for the evening and this is for you.

"It's bachelorette party night

"and Joe wants you to have a night out in Boston."

SCREAMING

'Sure...'

I'll be a glow stick guy.

'I'll do whatever it takes to have a good time.'

-Hey!

-Heya!

We love you.

We're here at Tresca cos we're going to start a chocolate tour for you.

Can we pee first?

One of our classiest friends right here.

Oh, my God!

How awesome?

Whoa! Who are you? I like you.

Woo!

Seriously, thank you, Joe!

Joe did such a good job! Thank you, Joe.

CHEERING

She is having a great time.

She's having the time of her life. We're having an amazing time.

I'm very impressed with...

with what Joe did.

This is one of the best bachelorette parties I've ever been to.

I was a little sceptical of what he could do

and I'm really surprised of what he did for the...

bachelorette party.

I'm the maid of honour to the best bachelor...

like, I'm having the best time ever.

The best bachel-la-la-la...

Way to go, Joe. You left them speechless.

The next day, Cristin, her mom and her maid of honour

see the dress Joe has purchased.

Joe picking out my wedding dress is definitely making me

a little nervous. I don't really even know Joe's take on a wedding gown.

'I really hope Joe's got this right because there really isn't any time to fix this.'

I'm very, very nervous, not only

'to see the dress that Joe picked out,'

but to see my daughter, my baby, in a wedding dress for the first time.

I am like so nervous and anxious right now

-that it's hard to even talk to you because...

-I know.

I cried so much last night.

-Are you ladies ready?

-We are!

All right.

Let's go.

Oh, Cristin!

Oh...

SHE SOBS

Wait. Are those tears of joy or tears of sorrow?

SHE LAUGHS

He did a really good job.

I love it.

I absolutely love this dress.

'I don't want to take it off. I think it is so beautiful

and I can't wait to wear it

on my wedding day.

Everything's really starting to feel real right now. I can barely talk.

-You're in your wedding gown.

-I'm in my wedding gown.

And Joe really did so good.

-It just looks like it was almost designed for you.

-For her body.

This is it.

While Cristin is bawling for joy over her dress,

Joe and Nick do some balling of their own.

-I think we got a lot accomplished.

-You think?

I feel like I'm just doing, kind of, exactly what Cristin would do,

which is fine to a certain extent but...

But she'll remember, "Wow, Joe did this for me.

"I want him to be like..."

That's fine, that's fine and that's important,

but I also want me to be like,

I did that because I liked it and then Cristin likes it too, you know?

Meanwhile, Joe's got some money left,

so he and the boys head to a prop shop for a last minute score.

I know you guys rent like games and equipment

that might be kind of cool at a wedding.

-What about the bull, Joe?

-That would be kinda cool.

-It's a mechanical bull!

-It doesn't really fit the...

I'm going with a little bit of a sports theme.

Basketball. Do you have any hoop shots?

We do have basketball. We don't have it set up right now.

HE GROANS

But, it would be the hoops, where you could each...

-Like try out?

-We have some stuff set up out back,

-if you guys want to...

-Yeah!

I'm worried that Joe may not take the wedding

as serious as I hope that he does.

Especially when he's planning it with all of his groomsmen.

Woo!

You've got to peddle or you're not going to make it.

-The late charge, here he comes!

-Oh, come on!

Oh, no.

Come on, Nick. Here comes the caboose. Boop, boop!

-Oh, what's this?

-Go!

LAUGHTER

What else we got?

We've got the Boot Camp.

Go!

Great idea, Joe. Cristin will have a blast

manoeuvring though that obstacle course

in her wedding gown and heels.

Woo!

Where is he?!

Hey!

'I'm under budget on a bunch of items that I thought'

I would be at a different number at,

so I have enough money to play with here

and what better way to spend it than something like

'the obstacle course, the jousting, just something crazy.'

Cos I said from the beginning, we've got to do something crazy.

It's the day of the wedding. Cristin and her bridesmaids

get ready at her maid of honour Jen's house.

So today's the day of my wedding and I'm so excited.

I woke up refreshed and I'm looking forward to tonight.

I can't wait to marry Joe and I'm feeling probably the best I've ever felt.

Meanwhile, Joe arrives at the venue for the finishing touches.

Getting married today.

It's crazy. I can't wait to see Cristin.

Ready to talk some up-lighting?

Yeah!

-I'm fired up.

-Well, check out that green.

Ah, that's going to look awesome.

-Hey!

-Hey, Joe.

Hey, that kind of looks like some basketballs there, right?

The plan with the flowers was to try to get a bit of a sport theme.

So I did a little bit of a subtle basketball seam

on the outsides of them.

Green is for the basketball team here in Boston.

What will Cristin think of her Celtics green bridesmaid's dresses?!

Green!

How do we look?

Now, I'm scared!

When the bridesmaids walked down, one thing I was shocked about

was the colour green. So now it leaves me thinking that Joe

might be going towards maybe a Celtics-themed sports wedding.

It's not my wedding, really. It's Joe's.

Oh, Cristin. Don't throw in the towel just yet.

Look out, the groomsmen have arrived.

Ah, this is perfect.

I need some help from a couple of guys.

Couple of guys, need some help.

All right, boys.

I had to do something a little basketball.

It's pretty easy to put together. I need to get this thing set up.

-What the

-BLEEP?!

-They didn't make this for us?!

-Get to work.

Put it together. Cristin's going to love this.

What's this for?

1-on-1 hoops at your wedding?!

That is a flagrant foul, Joe.

Oh, my God, Cristin!

You look so stunning.

I'm going to cry.

Worst case scenario, I hope the venue

isn't something totally sports-related.

I hope it's not in a sports Hall of Fame or something.

I just want it to be something pretty, classy and elegant that I like.

The first time you see Cristin, are you going to drop a tear or...

I don't know. I really don't know. It's like a cool moment.

You know, it's like one of those moments of your life...

Yeah, you'll never forget this.

Can I finish my own damn sentences?

-I'm trying to...

-I'm just adding to the sentence.

But, no. I wasn't done yet.

I was about to say, it's one of those moments

you know you'll remember for the rest of your life.

So, it's one of those big things.

Hey. Slow down there, Groom-zilla.

I know that's what you said, but I'd like to say it.

I'm unbelievably excited about marrying Cristin today.

Minus all this other stuff, the planning, the whole big picture

is I'm marrying the girl of my dreams.

Where the heck are we?

I have no idea.

We're getting wicked close and we have no idea where we're going.

SHRIEKING

We're pulling up to my wedding!

Oh, my gosh!

'Being away from Cristin for three weeks,'

by far the hardest thing and I'm looking forward to seeing her.

I'm looking forward to seeing her in her dress.

Well, the wait is over, Joe.

HORN BLARES

Game on.

APPLAUSE

Finally.

We are gathered here in celebration of Cristin and Joe.

The following is a traditional Irish Blessing.

May green be the grass you walk on.

May blue be the skies above you.

May pure be the joys that surround you.

May true be the hearts that love you.

Cristin and Joe, have you come here freely

and without reservation

to give yourselves to each other in marriage?

BOTH: Yes.

I, Joe, choose you, Cristin, to be my wife.

I promise to love you...

..to honour you...

..and to respect you...

..for as long as we both shall live.

Cristin, I give you this ring as a symbol of my promise

to always love you.

Joe, I give you this ring

as a symbol of my promise to always love you.

By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife.

Joe, you may kiss your bride.

CHEERING

Mr and Mrs Joe and Cristin Tagman.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The ceremony was outside, but it was absolutely gorgeous.

I don't think I would change a thing.

'When I walked into the reception space, I was very impressed.'

The colour, at first, was a little shocking to me. I didn't expect green

but I really do like it.

I love his little touches.

He had up-lighting, tall flowers and the low flowers.

And he definitely put a lot of his own touch,

but definitely my own touch into it.

I love it. I thought you did so good.

Thanks, babe.

Everyone, please raise your glass for a toast

to a long, happy and healthy marriage, cheers!

ALL: Cheers!

Phew. I have been lost for the last few weeks.

All I wanted to do every time was call her...

"You wouldn't believe what we did today."

It was the toughest thing to not be able to do that.

Now to see her walk down the aisle, it was the best moment of my life.

Joe, you really did such a good job. I am so impressed.

I couldn't tell you how much this means to me

that you put such a great effort into planning this wedding.

I love you so much and you really just...

You're amazing.

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