JP and Majita Don't Tell the Bride

Mayita and JP are madly in love.

After about three or four months I realised Mayita was the one.

Feisty Mayita takes the lead in the relationship, and a year ago, she proposed to film student JP.

JP thinks I stole his thunder by proposing.

I just got sick of waiting for him.

26-year-old JP's just finished uni.

He's completely skint,

and still living at home with his parents in Hayes.

It would have been maybe five or six years before I could have afforded to get married.

Aspiring actress Mayita doesn't have a penny, either.

-It's brilliant.

-The cash-strapped couple are desperate to wed,

so we're giving them £12,000 towards their big day.

This is going to be the greatest wedding mankind has ever known.

But there's a catch.

They've agreed, in the presence of a lawyer,

that JP will organise the wedding alone.

They'll have absolutely no contact,

and the bride won't know a single thing about her wedding

until the big day in four weeks' time.

This is my chance to sort of do something spectacular,

and make up for not proposing to you.

So will JP be able to keep everyone happy?

This is my day, and I want to look gorgeous.

Will Mayita get to hear about the stag night?

And how will they cope with a four-week separation?

I haven't seen him in such a long time.

Can this man give his bride a day that she will never forget?

I'm not going to walk down the aisle wearing something that barely goes over my bum.

So what, then I'm just walking down naked?

John Paul, also known as JP,

met Mayita in a bar in Kingston three years ago.

-You charmed me, didn't you?

-I did, I worked my magic.

They've been engaged for a year, but they still live apart with their respective parents.

It's exciting that we've never lived together...

And now we're going to get married.

-Some would say stupid.

-Some would say traditional.

But, breaking with tradition,

Mayita's letting JP plan the biggest day of her life.

-And here's to secrets, not telling you anything.

-Secrets and lies.

Lots of secrets and lies and potato pies.

I think it's definitely going to be a point of maturity for me,

and also it's something that I really want to do,

to show my commitment to Mayita.

Mayita and JP have agreed not to see or speak to each other until the day.

Bye.

-The next time they meet...

-Love you.

-Love you.

-..will be at the altar.

Mayita is moving out of her parents' house in Kingston,

and in with maid of honour Jess in East London.

I think she's going to be feeling quite emotional

and lonely and a bit left out of all the organising and stuff,

so, by moving in with me, we can help support her,

and kind of make her feel cosy and happy.

She's going to be my security blanket.

JP's going to be relying on his best men Adam and Liam for support.

It's got the fear of Mayita hanging over us all the time.

She's threatened us enough to keep us on our toes.

-Welcome. Ready to plan a wedding?

-Yep.

We are not complete idiots, although we may look, at times, like that.

We can, you know, we'll pull a plan together.

Who knows how to put up whiteboards?

I don't think this actually came with screws.

I don't think this is really going to do it.

It's quite heavy for Blu Tack.

I think it's going to be quite precarious.

Basically, don't write on the whiteboard, it's too dangerous.

So we've got £12,000.

-What are we going to do with 12 big 'uns?

-Spend it on alcohol.

-Yeah.

It's hard to sort of guess at the moment what sort of budget to allocate.

I think JP's capable of organising the wedding.

I do have a lot of faith in him.

So we have four weeks, and it's wedding season.

It's going to be tough, I think, to find anywhere.

Downstairs, JP's parents, Eve and Jerry, are coming to terms with their son's impending marriage.

I still think of him as being a boy, rather than a man, young man.

So it'll be strange.

I think he doesn't realise how much there is to be done.

He looks at it all, and writes things down,

-but things don't always go to plan, do they, so...

-Mm.

I think erecting a whiteboard is on par with arranging a wedding, in terms of difficulty.

It's a beaut. It is a beaut.

-Guest list.

-Entertainment.

-Entertainment.

-Drink.

-Drink.

-Drink.

-Shall I underline that?

-Yeah.

-I think we should.

-Twice.

-It's going to be a good party for £12,000.

I've been looking at it as an opportunity to get eternal brownie points.

Rings.

-Do you have to get a wedding licence thing, or...?

-Legal stuff.

JP's strengths, he's extremely good with money.

Honestly, I'm really have no idea what anything's going to cost.

This is from maybe what I've seen in movies.

If it goes anything like the board, it's going to be the shoddiest wedding ever.

Meanwhile, Mayita is settling into her new home with Jess and her fiance Charlie,

and she's got one thing on her mind.

The dress is the most important thing because at the end of the day,

I've got to wear that in front of everybody,

and I want everybody to go, "God, doesn't she look amazing?"

Not, "Oh, she looks all right."

Which is why, for me, it's the most important thing that he gets right, anyway.

Yeah, and he doesn't come out with something like that.

-I kind of like that.

-What?

-It's a good thing you're not planning the wedding.

-That is grotesque.

Yeah, but she's got appeal.

What kind of appeal? To be picked up...?

No, that's true, she does look maybe a little bit like she's trying to entice Hugh Grant into a car.

-Exactly.

-For Mayita, living with a couple makes her separation from JP more painful.

The three of us get on really, really well, Jess, Charlie and I.

It gets really weird, though, when it's night time,

and the two of them are going off on their own, and they're in bed.

So...

Sorry. That makes it more difficult.

You know, it's all worth it.

I keep saying to myself, as well...

that we've got a whole life together, so...

But it's the next four weeks JP's got to focus on.

Time to brainstorm with his trusty sidekicks.

We are most worried about entertainment.

Yeah, yeah, entertainment's a big thing, I think.

You can have like 10 bands playing, charge entrance fees.

It's gradually going from a wedding to a festival.

What about say, if my Nan comes, she's like 91, coming up to 91.

She doesn't really mosh, no.

I trust the best men to be supportive as far as guiding JP to make the right decisions.

I do worry about the best men's maturity.

-Shall we have an old person's tent?

-Yeah.

And have like, is Vera Lynn still alive?

-I don't know.

-Just an idea!

I wouldn't like an overly themed wedding.

For example, a theme where everybody has to come dressed as a character.

I wouldn't like our wedding day to be gimmicky.

The theme is going to be 1940s and early 50s film noir.

That's for the look, so the dress, so the suits, her wedding dress,

the guests are going to dress like that.

I was just wondering if I could come dressed a pearly king?

You can come dressed as a pearly queen, then.

Yeah, I would do that for you.

-You'd do that for me? Be the pearly queen?

-Yes.

By closing time, JP's full of Dutch courage.

This is going to be the greatest wedding mankind has ever known.

Since the birth of mankind, when God created man,

if he even did, this is going to be the greatest single moment

to ever grace our fair planet.

It's JP's job to choose the dress,

but Mayita can't resist a chance to feel bridal,

-and takes Jess for some fantasy shopping.

-Oh, wow, check that out.

It's kind of been stressful so far.

Just because I think Mayita's been feeling a bit upset about not seeing JP.

I'm getting in the wedding mood now.

I am too. I'm really excited. I can barely contain myself.

Yeah, because I think I've been feeling a little left out.

-I like that. I think you should try that.

-Yeah, all right then.

One of the biggest reasons I want to get married

is so everybody can look at me and go, "Doesn't she look amazing?"

-Thank you.

-Gorgeous!

Meanwhile across town, JP's off to make the most important purchase of his life, alone.

Because I've never been wedding dress shopping before,

I'll go in there thinking, "That looks nice, I'll take one of those and maybe one of those."

With his '40s theme in mind, JP's first stop is a retro bridal shop.

-What sort of height is she?

-She is 5'5" and a half.

She always likes to stress the extra half.

-That's exactly the same as me.

-Oh, wow, so she's your height, then.

My height, probably not my width, but anyway...

MAYITA: JP does like his bargains.

I don't know whether he realises how important the dress is to me.

-This kind of...

-Yeah, cos that's the thing.

I'd quite like to do something like that,

-because she's quite kooky, is a nice word.

-Is she?

-Yeah.

He's very shrewd with his money, so I think he'll be fine with that.

He's a good haggler.

-What price is this dress, in particular?

-This one's 1,500.

OK. I think I initially set aside around about 1,000 for a dress,

but that was kind of like including shoes and accessories,

so obviously, it's more than I initially planned.

I just don't want to get into debt.

Back in Westminster,

the wedding dresses Mayita's found cost at least twice what JP's budgeted.

For Mayita, the most important dress of her life has no price tag.

-Oh, dear. My tissue box is upstairs.

-I'm OK.

Oh, you look gorgeous.

But Mayita's only allowed to try, not buy.

It's what JP thinks that matters.

The dress I want to buy for Mayita would be not probably not like a traditional kind of a white dress.

Now let's try this. This is very ballerina.

-It's gorgeous.

-There is a traditional girl in there somewhere, obviously.

-Yes, deep down!

-Exactly.

The dress is a big deal.

I hate to sort of sound kind of vain, but at the end of the day,

this is my day, and I want to look gorgeous.

If he doesn't get me a dress that I look nice in,

then I'm going to be disappointed.

Mayita's far more traditional than she realises she is.

JP's definitely got his work cut out,

because I think what he'll THINK she likes is maybe not what she likes at all.

Seeing myself in those very long, full dresses,

I thought, "This is actually what a wedding dress should probably look like",

and I felt more like a bride in those.

Luckily for Mayita,

JP's called in reinforcements, and heads to a traditional wedding shop

in search of a dress for under a grand.

So do you want sleeves on it, or...?

I quite like something that is strapless, like that is quite nice.

You are going to make someone a beautiful wife.

That is like a sleeve thing that you would button down there.

-It would be all right without that.

-It looks nice.

-Just take a pair of scissors to it.

-Yeah, cut it.

What kind of price would this dress be?

-This one is 2,600.

-OK.

Cool. Yeah, I think that's about it, really,

-because obviously we've got a lot of appointments today.

-Absolutely.

I'm just worried that they are a bit too traditional,

but at the same time,

they also are significantly higher in terms of budget

than what I think I can really afford to spend on it.

I never ever thought wedding dresses could be so bloody expensive.

They make their money preying on little girls' dreams, basically.

Girls grow up dreaming that "I'm going to have this beautiful wedding,

"and I'm going to have this beautiful wedding dress."

They're hiking the price up.

But that's for people who can afford that kind of thing.

We've gone from like a particular wealth status...

-We're poor.

-You know, we're paupers.

If JP thinks wedding dresses are pricey,

he's yet to discover the cost of a venue.

Yeah, time isn't really on our side,

so we're probably going to be limited to maybe two or three venues.

JP's found one venue that has a date free for his wedding,

the Newbury Manor Hotel in Berkshire.

Come on, guys, have a look at the flowers.

In terms of the venue, I don't want it to be a modern thing,

because that would probably not match with the theme we are thinking about in terms of the dress,

which is a '40s/'50s style.

This is the largest function suite we have.

I think at first,

the little ceremony hall seems a bit kind of stale.

It just seemed too hotely.

You've got a glass of sparkling wine for the bridal toast and the speeches.

Cost - 6,300.

About 4 to 5,000 I think was my initial figure,

so maybe I underestimated what a venue would cost.

With money tight and only two weeks to go before the big day,

JP's passion for film gives him a big idea -

the world-famous Pinewood Studios.

Home to international movie productions like Batman and Casino Royale,

Pinewood Studios is built around an old lodge, Heatherdon Hall.

-Oh, my God, this is amazing.

-Stunning, isn't it?

-Yeah, wow!

-Let's take it. Perfect.

-Sold?

-Yeah, honestly, sold.

-Fantastic.

But, no, yeah, obviously we are going to talk first,

-didn't mean to get your hopes up there, sorry.

-No.

I think this would blow Mayita's brain to pieces,

so much so that we may have to pass on this, because it's too dangerous.

Movie buff JP hasn't even asked the price,

and already he's dreaming of the silver screen.

-The room was actually originally built as a set for the Great Gatsby.

-Oh, really?

I'm really impressed, both myself and my fiancee are big film fans,

-so that is why I thought this would be quite a nice place to have the event.

-Definitely.

I think Mayita will love this place, because you feel like a film star.

-I'm confident she'd like it, definitely.

-Yeah.

So, what dates or date is available?

We've got Saturday the 28th available for you.

OK, that sounds good, I think most people can make it. You guys free?

-Try and get the time off work.

-No. Bit busy.

-You're busy?

I think we're thinking that the venue, with food,

we're hoping to get in the region of about £5,000.

You're looking at around just over £7,000, plus VAT on top of that.

-So 9,000 and something or other.

-9,000, yeah.

£9,000 for Pinewood Studios is almost double the cost of the first venue.

I was just amazed, it's just the most stunning location,

and I think Mayita would really, really love it.

The downside obviously is it's a bit more expensive,

quite more expensive, actually,

but something I think that's worth doing.

Pinewood will eat up three quarters of his total budget.

JP needs a cash injection.

He seeks financial back-up from the bank of Mum and Dad.

If you are going to put money into the wedding,

it would be good to know upfront roughly how much,

my pocket money, my allowance, will be this month.

What about £2,000?

-2,000, yeah?

-Will that help?

Yeah, yeah, that would be excellent. So we'd have about 14,000.

Does she need a dress?

No, no, we'll get her a bin liner, she'll be fine.

If things go horribly wrong...

Even after his parents' top-up,

JP only has £5,000 left to buy everything else he needs for the wedding.

The dress, the decorations, the rings, the invites, the car, even the flowers.

I may on the day explain to her that the flowers may not so nice,

but shut up and look at the surroundings.

-They're pretty frigging awesome.

-That's romance for you.

That's romance, "Shut up your face and look at all this beautiful venue." Yeah.

Mayita's worrying about what the day might hold,

and turns to her parents for support.

The most important thing for a woman on that day is going to be the dress. Got to be the dress.

If I get a dress that I can't fit into, what's the point?

It will be hanging over his head.

-Shut up.

-No, it won't, only if you make it.

It's so frustrating,

because people are always telling me, "How's it going? What's happening?"

and I'm like, "I don't know, stop asking me.

"Just, you know, I don't know anything, so please..."

On average it takes six weeks to make a wedding dress,

and four fittings with the bride.

JP has less than two weeks, and no chance of a fitting.

He hasn't even chosen a dress yet.

I just worry that they'll just come up with some crazy joke, and go with it.

That is beautiful, Adam, you'll make someone...

-Imagine that, imagine that.

-Oh, stop!

And think it's really funny and then on the wedding day they realise

that actually maybe they should have got a nice dress.

She is quite quirky and likes interesting designs,

so I'm just worried that a lot of the dresses I've seen today

are quite traditional and plain.

It's a predicament, because that is awesome.

I do get worried, I mean, when it comes to clothing,

I think that's where there might be an issue.

We've come to blows a few times when he's picked something up for me, and I'm like,

"OK, when have you ever seen me in anything like that?"

Yeah, yeah.

-Something like that.

-That's good, cos it's not traditional,

and that's what I'm going for.

If you have something striking up here, that's good cos it's going to make her waist look tiny.

Right, yeah, it'll be good.

How much is this one?

-So you are probably looking more like 12 to 1,300, 1,400 price.

-OK.

That's at least 300 more than JP wants to spend.

We sit down, do a little bartering, a little haggling,

and see what we can do.

-You can try.

-I will try.

We did say 12, I'm sure I said 12,

but I'm sure we could do it for 1,100.

Yeah, because genuinely,

and I know it doesn't sound like a lot of difference,

but because I'm on a really tight budget...

Yeah. Well, no it does, I understand that you've got other stuff to do.

I've actually agreed to the dress, they bumped down £100 for it.

I'm 99% positive that Mayita will love it, so I'm feeling good.

I guess I'm growing up now.

Unlike JP, Ross the dressmaker has years of experience in pleasing brides.

We don't get a lot of wacky brides,

and I would say somebody that comes in and wants something truly, truly different

is once every two years, you'll maybe get one.

I think he's a very brave man, that's what I think.

I got a little diary here that I bought the other day,

so I should start putting in all these details, in case I forget.

Thursday, I've got two appointments.

Meeting the graphic designer at 5.30,

and then Sampson the ring maker.

I think I'm handling things well.

Wedding planner is a possible career, you know.

Who knows? Next year, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I might be doing a PhD.

If that doesn't go through, I don't know what.

Wedding planning could be a possibility.

But he's got to pull off his own big day first.

He's off to a second-hand shop to find vintage suits to fit his '40s theme.

What do you think? The trousers could come up a bit.

-It's quite big.

-It IS a little big.

I look like sex on a stick.

Will you stop laughing? Now he's off again.

I want people to think I look really cool,

and hopefully Mayita will think I'm sexy.

The first '40s suit that JP tried on, it's just ridiculous.

-What is the price of this?

-The suits are 65.

-65, excellent.

-That's good.

Because I spent tons on the wedding dress.

The suit doesn't fit, his best men can't stop laughing,

but it's cheap, so he's not going to rule it out just yet.

What did you think?

Did I look like that kid in Big, you know,

when he shrinks, and he's wearing Tom Hanks' suit?

I'll be honest. I think you could do a bit better.

You look like the Godfather again!

-You can get that lengthened.

-Yeah, I can, with my super powers.

The suit, I think, is going to prove quite hard to get,

cos obviously, most people from the '40s are dead.

What do you think? Would you marry me?

I can't let my best mate get married in that.

You look like a '30s dictionary salesman.

Which part of me are you laughing at?

-Everything.

-Everything?

-You guys are going to be dressed like this too.

-BLEEP

I don't think we're going to get it done today.

It might take a bit longer than we anticipated.

Let's have a little fun with some '80s stuff.

Rock gods at heart, the boys abandon their suit hunt.

I just feel natural. I think we have to buy this stuff.

-That is a beaut.

-It's a beaut.

JP can't resist a haggle.

Is there any chance of getting like a bulk discount you think, at all?

-Let's see how much it is.

-Wicked, cheers, dude.

Today, we have spent £70

all on '80s luminous clothing from the vintage shop.

No suits, no shoes, no hats yet.

The wedding budget goes a long way, down the pub.

Unsuccessful, but a funny day.

-It was funny. We got something. We got an idea.

-What did we get?

We got an idea that we know absolutely BLEEP about suits.

I'm worried as to how good we're going to look,

and I don't want any of the guests to have some totally awesome suit, better than us.

It's tough. And then normally, at a time like this,

Mayita would be here to help me, but she's not,

so you know, I have to go it alone.

With just over a week to go, the venue is booked,

the dress is bought, but Mayita is in the dark, and feeling frustrated.

The waiting has been really difficult.

There's nothing there for me to see or to hold, or to read, or you know, anything.

So it's difficult for me to kind of bring excitement from nothing, really.

-I haven't been able to see him for the past four weeks.

-Oh, my goodness.

So that's been my stress.

-Where is it going to be? Do you know that?

-I don't know.

-Not even that?

-No.

-She doesn't know what she's wearing, even.

-Oh, my goodness.

To relieve her wedding stress, Mayita calls a girls' night out.

Why do you actually want to get married? What made you think?

I've heard JP's absolutely loaded,

so erm, I thought, "Grab my chance, get me a millionaire."

Yeah, and then I decide to marry a student who still lives with his parents,

-and hardly earns a penny.

-Hot stuff!

Rags to riches, baby, rags to riches.

Oh, you know, it must be love.

Because I'm not marrying him for anything else.

Before I met Mayita, I was a lot more cynical about love.

In my opinion love was like a chemical reaction in your brain.

I'm a bit too analytical and scientific at times, I think.

Her in general, she has completely changed my opinion on that,

and I've realised that I couldn't be happier with anyone else.

I really doubt that would be possible.

While JP's in the mood for love, the girls' conversation turns to sex.

I could never ever marry someone who I hadn't had sex with.

-And who hadn't had sex before, either.

-Yeah.

-The thing is, you connect through sex, so...

-Yeah, exactly.

I haven't been faithful in previous relationships, and...

But not to the full extent of being unfaithful.

THEY GIGGLE It's not something I'm proud of.

When I broke up with my last boyfriend, it was because of that.

It was because I just thought, you know, I've cheated so many times,

this is ridiculous, and this person doesn't deserve it.

It was like, I got drunk, I felt lonely,

somebody was giving me attention,

and I thought, "Great opportunity, why not?

"Nobody's ever going to find out."

Which is why I knew, for me, that JP was the man,

because I felt, fully and wholly, that this was the man for me.

I felt happy, I felt true in myself,

I feel beautiful, and I feel like... that I'm important.

SHE SINGS "Here Comes The Bride"

Suspecting that his budget is in trouble,

JP's called late night crisis talks.

I don't think I'd spent that much, I don't think.

-So, yeah, we've already kind of spent 12,000.

-Yeah.

I used to think that I was a quite financially aware kind of a person,

but yeah, my ideas of that are changing slowly.

So far, I've been thinking, "This is going to cost this",

and everything is just ridiculously more expensive than I imagined it would be.

I swear that is almost like 12,000 now,

not including car, Mayita's accessories, or our accessories.

It's just starting to dawn on me how soon this is and how little time there is to do things.

JP's made a radical decision,

and has some bad news for Jess and the bridesmaids.

What are you thinking about, what kind of dresses?

'Erm, something that's all similar.

-'Black, white and red are the colours.'

-Controversial.

'I know, but I'm confident. I'm confident.'

And what's your budget, JP?

How much are we spending on bridesmaids' dresses?

'Well, it's up to you, you can spend as much as you like,

'but I don't really think I'm going to be able to help with the money, I'm afraid.'

-Right, OK.

-'Yeah, I have pissed away the budget on other things.'

-OK.

'I know, I'm sorry.'

It's a bit of a shock.

I didn't realise it was going to be something I had to budget for.

As far as I knew, JP was going to pay for them out of the budget, but he's not any more.

No, he's not, but my mum said she's going to pay for mine.

I know, but I don't have a mummy who's going to pay for mine!

I'm really surprised by the colour scheme, without being funny.

Because, I would have...

I'd feel weird wearing white, because that's the bride's colour,

I don't wear red at all, and I'm really anti black at weddings,

I'm so anti it, and in fact, for my wedding,

I'm banning people from wearing black.

Right, let's get three of these, three of these, let's go.

Even though JP's not paying,

he wants to have the last word on the dresses the girls will buy.

That's awful.

-I'm out of my element.

-The pressure's on.

With a week to go until the wedding,

this is JP's last chance to get all the girls together.

-£39!

-That's the sale rail, as well.

Right, there is no option, I think.

I think we're going to have to go for something here.

That dress there, with the blue sash, is kind of nice,

but if it was, like, in a red kind of colour.

Something like that would sort of be cool.

I would be happy if they went for any of these,

but I know they are, obviously,

they are on a whole different level of woman-ness,

and they'll probably have something they'll like about it.

So who was looking for this one, size 10?

I guess I should not really come in, should I?

My verdict is buy them, let's get out of here.

Even though it's not hurting his pocket, true to form,

JP's looking for a discount.

We're just going to see if we can get a concession,

or some kind of discount,

because Chia knows someone who works for someone who works for someone

who once knew someone who visited John Lewis.

Do we get like a sort of three for two on this, or anything?

-Buy one get one free or...

-I wish we did that!

Cool, thank you for your help. Cheers.

Yeah, maybe I'm not as good with money as I first thought.

Shoes, hats, flowers, DJ, band.

I feel like I'm back at university before an exam.

You're just revising, cramming so much information into your head.

It's all too much.

But if JP's starting to feel the strain, after three weeks apart,

Mayita's at breaking point.

I don't think the gravity of the situation

really has kind of dawned on me,

because I've just been so occupied with, you know,

when I'm going to see him, and that will be so much fun.

Trying to deal with the fact that I haven't seen him in such a long time

has, I think, has taken so much of my effort.

While Mayita is on the ropes,

JP is on the road, to Brighton for his stag do.

54p - that is frigging good.

What was that? Am I getting married?

It is. It's kind of weird. Cos I've been so frigging busy,

it's like it hasn't kind of dawned on me.

Getting married is like being at the airport and realising you are about to get married, or get on a plane.

What? It's overpriced...

All the tickets are really expensive,

and you should have remembered your passport.

And you know you shouldn't be going there.

Do you need a passport when you get married? Surely you'd need ID.

With almost all his budget gone,

JP's got a cheap solution for his stag night.

My God, it's windy!

-This shouldn't be rocket science.

-Is this the front?

Have you got this in the right part, though?

You said that where we put it up, this was on the right side,

-I trusted you.

-No, I didn't.

-Is that the front? That is the front, isn't it?

-You dick!

Is there some way we can move the bottom?

He can organise a wedding, but he can't put up a tent.

So far, it's pretty much exactly as I thought it would be,

which is an absolute shambles.

I think we might have put the tent up on a cowpat.

Determined to get value for money, JP whips out his £70 worth of Lycra.

Are you joking? I've got to wear that?

-Can you wear this?

-I have to wear that as well?

-It's a good T-shirt.

-OK, I'll wear anything.

Mate, legend.

My ideal hen night, I'd love to go away for the weekend.

I'm not into kind of, going out into town and, you know, wearing veils with L plates.

I always felt that was a bit cheap.

In their relationship Mayita's the one who wears the trousers,

so it's more appropriate, the hen gear for him.

-She's the trouser wearer.

-Yeah.

I'm the Lycra and the pink shorts.

-You are not the alpha male in the relationship.

-No.

I don't think JP would have strippers either.

I think him and his friends, bless them, they are very funny,

and they do like to do the odd joke, but they're such old men at heart.

It will probably be round one of their houses.

He wouldn't really like things waggled in his face, you know,

half-naked women.

For me, it's another step into adulthood, as well, being Mrs.

All right? He's all right.

-Help me.

-What's going on here?

-I'm all right.

It's all good.

It's the worst stag do ever!

-How many stag dos have you been on?

-Two.

-And was this the second one?

-Yeah.

-And the first one was better?

-Yeah.

-So I had a 50/50 chance, I missed it.

-Bad boobs.

-What can you do?

-Bad strippers and boobs.

-But there were strippers in the place.

-Our tents, they're still up there.

-Our tents!

Ah, high fives!

JP's final fling isn't over yet.

-Goodbye, single life.

-What was that?

Getting in the sea with a bunch of men was your single life?

Yeah. Get out of it!

-Liam?

-Yeah?

-Are you alive?

-Yeah.

Just checking. Adam?

Adam, wake up.

Adam?

I think we lost Adam.

There is £100 off the food bills, the band can play.

JP may have taken the cheap option of camping,

but he still wants his stags to pay their own way.

Guys, guys, guys, it's really cheap, it's like a tenner each.

Has everyone got a tenner each to pay for the actual campsite?

You don't? You genuinely don't?

Cheers, dudes.

His stag night may be over, but JP knows wedding plans wait for no man.

-This is the traditional...

-Yeah, that's really nice.

-..garters.

Sorry I haven't returned any of your recent calls,

been a little bit busy, as you might sort of understand.

In you go, come on.

I managed to get your number off the guy across the road in the cafe.

Bargain, as well, good price.

I reckon I've got a few quid left.

No, probably not, actually, I think I'd better leave it.

It's not her taste, anyway. Little tight.

That's better. Thank you very much.

Oh, not bad, a little stressed, you know how it is.

I wonder how much these are. Doesn't say, you know it's expensive.

JP's taking his duties very seriously,

and has even decided to keep Mayita's hen night a secret,

so Jess is on standby awaiting instructions.

Find out what's happening tonight.

-Hello.

-What's going on, what are we doing, my friend?

Oh, OK, where are you now, then?

We are outside Victoria Station,

-I've got Susie and Madge, and that's it, so far.

-Me!

You go to the corner of Bar...

Sorry, hang on a second, I need to actually find it on the map.

Oh, man. What's going on?

It's on the corner of Grosvenor Place and Hobart.

I don't have a map.

Oh...BLEEP

Wilton Road.

Sorry about this, see how organised I am. Is it W-I-L-T-O-N?

I for idiot.

Thanks(!)

Perhaps a little bit more organisation would have been nice.

-This really doesn't bode well for my wedding.

-Yep, bye.

-That man!

-What's up, Jess?

I don't really know where I'm going,

but I'm going to try and sort the situation out, so, girls, come on.

I'm slowly starting to fall apart at the seams now, I think, so...

-A map. Let's go.

-OK.

So where are we going?

Hey, I'm on Grosvenor Garden.

The man I'm going to marry has chosen where we went for our first year anniversary!

Hello, sorry, did you arrive there yet?

You have.

Yay!

I'm contributing towards the cost of the meal.

Luckily there's hardly anyone turned up for it now, it should be fine,

so you may actually have some left over for drinks

when you go to the next place.

-How much have we got?

-There's £100.

That's £100 between all of them.

So you can maybe buy yourself a nice couple of mojitos,

and then the thing is,

because I haven't be able to get to see you or anything,

would yourself or Susie be able to pay, and then I'll reimburse you?

OK.

Sister Chia and friend Victoria join them to make a party of five.

Worlds apart from JP's stag night,

the girls settle down to a civilised meal.

After £100's worth of food,

JP's next plan is for the girls to go to the bar next door.

-This is a bit posh.

-I know.

It's very quiet in there!

Should be an interesting night(!) There doesn't seem to be a dance floor.

He obviously thinks I'm far more sophisticated than I think I am.

-Let's do it! Drinks!

-Is everybody ready?

-Come on.

-All right, then.

I'm surprised at how subdued the night is.

And I don't whether that's because of us,

or perhaps because of the venues he's chosen.

He describes me as a bit of a party animal, and then, I don't know.

Maybe this is something he's trying to tell me to do,

that if I'm going to become a married woman,

I've got to learn to subdue myself.

-Come on.

-I don't know where we're going.

Are we going to Victoria Station?

With no entertainment for the reception, and no budget left,

-JP's stuck.

-Hi.

BLEEP BLEEP

If I had more budget, I would definitely go for that.

£1,000 for a live band.

£1,000, it could bring the whole tally to, like, £15,000,

or something.

Unless I get 10 people not to go.

I just call up 10 people and say, "Sorry."

On this spreadsheet it already exceeds £14,000, like,

and that didn't even include the band.

Paddy, do you think you could sing at the wedding?

How much do you charge?

Two dog biscuits, yeah?

Got a deal.

I have money saved, but when it comes to September, neither of us have jobs.

We really need to move out, as a married couple,

I don't want to, like, carry on living in my mum's attic, sort of thing.

I don't want to sort of not be able to afford to live next year.

I'm stressed. I'm really stressed right now.

Bring your foot further in.

With just three days to go, best mate Jess is determined to get Mayita into shape for married life.

JP likes my curves, he'll hate it if I turn up twiggy.

Mayita, three days, it's not going to have that much effect!

-Keep your arms going, as well.

-I'm going!

-Keep going.

-This is so the last time I'm doing this.

-No, it's not.

-Tomorrow morning.

-Oh, no.

You can BLEEP off there, thanks.

You've done well.

-You've got to go back though, don't forget that.

-Ohhhh!

JP's 14 grand budget is long gone.

Everything else he spends will eat into his own savings,

so he's come up with a cunning plan to bake the wedding cake himself.

It's banana and pecan cake.

The guests will probably all hate it,

but I'm arranging the wedding. It's my say.

It saves us about £500, I think.

I was ten years old when I won an award for baking in the Cub Scouts.

Perfect!

I think ingredients came to about £60.

Oh, Paddy!

Oooh, yummy! I want to become a cake maker now.

Wedding nerves are kicking in.

The source of Mayita's stress is still her dress.

I'm hoping JP's got my sizes.

-I mean, do you know if he's got my sizes?

-No idea.

Well, that's a bit worrying.

-I don't think I'm a standard size.

-No, you're not standard at all.

I mean, I've always got problems when I go...

Especially, you know, like, skirts and dresses and stuff,

because unless you have my size,

I really doubt it would fit.

How's that gonna affect my confidence?

The fact I can't even get into my own wedding dress? I'm too fat.

I don't think Mayita will be too bothered if it's not a perfect fit,

she understands that I'm limited in what I can do,

because I can't get her to come in and try it on and all this,

so it might be sort of a bit loose in certain parts,

but you know, that's the way it is.

I'm not going to walk down the aisle in something that barely goes over my bum. I'm not having it.

What? Then I'm just walking down naked,

or you know, with a dress that's way too small,

that's exposing my bum and my back to everybody.

How is that nice? How is that enjoyable?

If it's too small and I can't do it up, we don't get married then,

but I'm not wearing something that doesn't fit.

It's the day before,

and all that's left for JP to do is wait and worry.

I don't think I can eat any more of my breakfast.

Little bit too nervous today.

At least I've had half of it. It's better than nothing.

Some mornings I haven't had a chance to have anything.

I'm worried about the dress, the fitting of the dress.

Because there isn't that much leeway, kind of on the waist part.

It's crunch time as Mayita is finally going to try on the wedding dress

that JP has picked and paid for.

OK, Mayita, over you come.

JP wants Mayita to see the dress in its full glory, shoes and all,

so she's blindfolded until the look is complete.

Are you really uncomfortable?

I'm not used to having something this tight.

That is very tight, do you think you ought to loosen it?

Is it not fitting properly?

See how you go. Wear it and see you how you feel.

-It's starting to loosen up now.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

I just can't take full breaths.

-Would you like to have a look?

-OK, Jess, do you want to have a look?

Is that a look of despair or pleasure?

All right, Madgie, this is the Cinderella moment.

Erm, lift this foot.

-Are these the ones I'm wearing?

-Yeah.

-Are these my wedding shoes?

-Yeah.

-Oh, wow.

-Get comfy, dear.

-I think you look absolutely beautiful.

-Aw!

-Is that you?

-You're not grabbing anybody else, don't worry.

-Oh, no!

Oh, I'm not going to be able to control myself now.

-Ready, steady...

-Oh!

Beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful.

-Do you like it?

-I love it, it's just... It's so amazing.

-Thank you. Thank you so much.

-And it fits well.

He's done an amazing job! I can't believe it!

I don't think I really expected anything like this.

I wasn't expecting pattern, or...

You all right, sweetie?

On his final night as a bachelor,

JP's practising the vows he's written himself.

It just kind of came to me, and I kind of realised that it was right,

cos it was just honest, and it was just...

I thought, "All I can do is just write how I feel about her, and the reasons I'm doing this."

If you are ever sad, I'll be there to make you smile.

If you are ever lonely, I'll be there to offer you friendship.

If you ever feel lost, I'll be there to show you the way.

You mean more to me than you will ever know.

You are a friend, a lover and an inspiration.

That is just a short extract.

I think I'll see myself,

maybe just more of a whole person when I become somebody's wife.

I think I'll just perhaps feel more like I belong with somebody,

rather than constantly thinking that I'm having to search, you know,

for somebody or something extra whenever I go out.

If ever there was anything to test a man's sort of certainty of who he's about to marry,

I think this whole process has done that,

and it's just reaffirmed to me, like,

I know that I really, really love her,

and she's the person that I really want to be with, so, yeah.

After four weeks of separation, and a bill of over £14,000,

it's finally the big day.

OK, that's it. Don't tighten it any more,

cos I can't actually breathe now.

No more. Don't. Don't be a cow. Oh!

That's beautiful!

Oh, wow!

In keeping with the theme, a 1950s Pontiac arrives to take Mayita to her wedding in style.

Oh, my God!

God, I feel like Grace Kelly!

-Let's get married, bring it on.

-Has anyone got house keys?

-Eh?

House keys, I haven't got house keys.

-You don't live here any more!

-Aw!

Who's got the keys?

As she leaves her parents' house, she may FEEL like a film star,

but will JP pull off a wedding fit for a screen goddess?

The guests are arriving at Pinewood Studios,

and JP awaits his leading lady.

Now all I have to do is worry if Mayita's going to turn up.

Oh, my God. So how many people are coming?

There's about 90 or so, I think.

Do you have any fears?

I don't know, things seem to be going well so far.

The main thing is that you are happy,

and you get a nice, good life with JP.

-That is how I feel.

-Love you.

Get this over with, so I can get this thing off!

Oh, Mayita, you look...

Jess presents Mayita with the final touches.

-That's your bouquet, sweetie.

-Oh, wow.

-Now, John Paul...

-Yeah.

Show me your hands. Not shaking, well done, well done so far.

OK, hang on. Keep that make up on.

I know. Don't you dare cry!

Ladies and gentlemen, could I ask you all please to stand for the arrival of the bridal party?

John Paul and Mayita, we are here today to celebrate your commitment

to a marriage that will deepen and enrich every aspect of your lives.

Mayita, I did all of this because of all you've done for me.

Whenever I've been sad, your smile has melted my sorrow,

Whenever I've been lonely, your touch has brought me comfort.

You are my best friend, my lover and my inspiration, and I will always be yours.

It's Mayita's turn to read a poem that JP has chosen.

I cannot promise you a life of sunshine.

I cannot promise riches, wealth or gold.

I cannot promise you an easy pathway that leads away from change or growing old.

But I can promise all my heart's devotion,

a smile to chase away your tears and sorrow,

a love that's ever true and ever growing.

A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow.

I'm now going to ask Liam, please, to step forward...

..and pass the bride's ring to John Paul.

Mayita, I give you this ring as a sign of my love, and as a symbol of our marriage.

I hope it fits.

And it's my great pleasure and my privilege to declare you as being husband and wife.

APPLAUSE

ALL: Gee whizz!

Right, let's go!

I have my husband!

-Oh, my God!

-You like it?

Keen to score more brownie points, JP's got another sweet surprise for his new wife.

-You see that cake?

-Oh, the cake!

Homemade. Banana and pecan.

-Did you make that?

-I made it, how good does it look?

-It's not something I would have chosen, but...

-Aw!

-It's better than what I would have chosen.

-Oh, really?

It's so beyond anything that I would have thought that I would pick out for myself, absolutely. I just...oh!

-That's good.

-I'm really overwhelmed that you did something so gorgeous for me.

Hey, it's all right.

This is just the most incredible venue, it's perfect. Mayita looks beautiful, she's so happy.

The moment when Mayita was walking down the aisle,

you realise how much he put it into it over the last four weeks and how much it means to both of them.

That was like, that was a really emotional moment.

-Everyone was welling up, even the boys.

-Were you welling up?

-No.

He knows her so well. You know, this is absolutely Mayita, through and through, the whole thing.

Non-traditional as ever, Mayita gets to her feet to have the final word.

Erm, I did have a speech, but erm,

I think it's a bit boring, so...

LAUGHTER

Basically, over the past month, although we haven't seen each other, I feel that I have learnt new things.

I'm very proud of what you have accomplished,

and what a fantastic day you have created for both of us.

Although these weeks have been difficult,

I have thought about you every minute of the day,

and counted the seconds till I could tell you in person

how proud I am of you, and how happy I am to be calling you my husband,

and I'm glad that I plucked up the courage to ask you to marry me, and relieved that you said yes.

-Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

-Afternoon.

-All having a good time?

-Yes!

I think I speak on behalf of myself...and him!

LAUGHTER

..when I say that the last four weeks

have been some of the most nerve wracking,

stress inducing and mentally exhausting of our young lives.

Coming up with something nice to say about JP...

LAUGHTER

..in such a short time would be hard for anyone.

Put your hands together for Mayita and JP!

HE SINGS "MACK THE KNIFE"

And yes, JP dug deep and coughed up his own savings for the best entertainment in town.

The total I spent was £14,337 and 50 pence.

And I feel it was worth every penny,

and I would have paid more to have that kind of a day again.

It was just so worth every penny.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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