Jenna & James Don't Tell the Bride

-From the depths of the Earth...

-Oh, my God!

..to the crests of the mountains...

My legs have gone weird.

..these crusading grooms must rise to the challenge.

£12,000... LAUGHTER

..and just three weeks...

I love that girl! I love her!

..to plan a wedding worthy of their betrothed.

-Oh, my God, what's he done?

-He just took my dress!

These fair maidens are bound by contract to be legally wedded...

I hate it!

..but have no say in their big day.

Is it just all going to be last minute and just rubbish?

Where did he get green from?

Can these hapless heroes marshal their armies...

Just leave me to drown!

-..vanquish dragons...

-Oh, God!

Do as your future mother-in-law tells you!

..and conquer all before them?

Get out of my pub!

Or will they be...defeated?

I'm not doing it.

Tonight, hairstylist groom James wants a cutting-edge wedding.

Jenna comes down that way and stands at the catwalk.

While Jenna craves a day that's classic and timeless.

THEY GASP Oh, my...!

This is literally, like, what my dream is.

Can this man... HE LAUGHS

..give this woman...

Why would I want to come here on my hen do?

..the wedding of her dreams?

Oh, my God!

Will his catwalk aisle leave his bride purring?

This is awful!

Will his bride want to run away from his runway?

I am not happy.

Or will it end up the ultimate fashion faux pas?

I am well and truly pissed off.

Wo-pah!

30-year-old James and 27-year-old Jenna

met when they worked together at a hair salon.

But their romance wasn't cut and dried.

I thought James was gay.

I thought she was the biggest bitch ever.

It's only because, literally when I first met you,

you had that outfit on with them dungarees and that pink T-shirt.

First, Jenna and James became friends, then flatmates.

Finally, one evening, things started to bubble.

It didn't take that long to realise he wasn't gay.

One night, he cooked Sunday dinner for us both and I was like,

"Oh, I'm going to go and have a bath."

I don't even know why I said it,

"Why don't we have a bath together, but with swimwear on, not naked?"

And he looked a bit weird

and I thought, "Let's see where this might go from here."

# Splish-splash, I was taking a bath... #

And then, after that, I guess things just blossomed.

# Rub-a-dub, just relaxing in the tub... #

-So if we hadn't had a bath...

-It might not have worked.

-Maybe that's what we should call our second child - Bubbles.

-Bubbles!

Today, Jenna and James live in Leicester

with their two-year-old son Noah.

This hairdressing couple certainly gelled,

but now they want to give their relationship a permanent set.

I want to get married because I want to spend my life with Jenna.

I want us to be a family.

I just think we're soul mates, I think we're meant to be together.

Even though he annoys me all the time, I do love him, a lot.

I'd be lost without him.

And to make sure she didn't lose out on James,

Jenna took charge of the proposal.

I didn't propose to Jenna, Jenna proposed to herself.

So, erm, when you going to do this? Cos it's annoying me.

-What, you want me to do it NOW, in the kitchen?

-Yeah!

-I was just like, "Are you serious?"

-Come on!

-Do I have to get down on one knee?

-If you want.

It wasn't the big thing I'd got in my head.

Are you going to say yes?

Well, yeah, you know it's going to be yes. Oh, take a picture.

She'd had it planned cos she'd been and had her nails done

and there was champagne in the fridge,

so she knew that's exactly what was going to happen.

Well, I knew I'd get what I want,

so I therefore just took control of the situation.

But the future Mrs Taylor can't be in control of everything.

The only downside of getting married to James

will be taking his surname, because it will be Jenna Taylor.

Like genitalia.

She can't do much about his name,

but there's one thing this style-conscious bride

would love to change about James.

-What do you reckon?

-It's vile.

-His fashion sense.

I think his taste's quite... Not revolting...

No.

Sometimes, it does make me feel a bit sick.

There's one item of clothing they clash on the most - the trousers.

It's Jenna who wears them and now, she thinks it's time

for James to take charge... of her entire wedding.

I take control of day-to-day life.

James needs to not step up to the plate, but...

You need to back down from the plate.

No, I think this might prove to me

that he could actually probably do more things.

James needs to man up and prove himself worthy of his bride,

but he may have his work cut out,

because Jenna knows exactly the style of wedding she wants.

I don't want to look back at photos and think,

"God, why did we have that there? Why did we have our hair like that?"

When you look back and they've got those big puffy sleeves,

you know that's from the '80s,

so my dream wedding would be like a big stately home

or a manor house with nice grounds.

They never go out of fashion.

I want it to be quite classic, so it's going to be timeless.

So, what is James's plan for the bride

who just wants timeless, elegant and traditional?

So it has to be cutting edge, flamboyant, non-traditionalist -

something that's going to be quite bold and extravagant.

Oh, dear!

I want a fashion-inspired wedding that takes place on a catwalk.

I think it has got to have that extra wow factor.

Being a hairdresser, you have to deal with fashion

and different trends all the time and, with the wedding,

I don't want it to be like that.

I want it classic and I want it to be timeless.

I'm picturing it being in somewhere quite urban, quite industrial,

which kind of contradicts traditional wedding pictures.

We're not normal, traditional and not boring.

We're not boring, so it's got to be creative

and it's definitely got to be individual.

I just hope he gets it right, cos I will kill him.

There will be fireworks if not, for sure.

It's time for Jenna and James to say goodbye.

Noah, this is going to be the last time you see Daddy for a while.

-Are you sad?

-Next time, we'll be getting married!

James is moving back in with Mum and Dad,

while Jenna will stay at home with Noah.

The couple will have no contact until their wedding in three weeks' time.

-Love you.

-Love you.

-Right, I'll see you...

-In three weeks.

-See you at the altar!

That's if I turn up.

CAR HORN BLARES

Knob!

I feel a bit sick, a bit anxious that he's gone. I think...

Hopefully, that'll pass.

It is a little bit daunting, knowing that I'm literally on my own.

The anxiety's kicking in.

The groom isn't the only one feeling anxious.

Bridesmaids Ash and Sam have come round to calm Jenna's nerves.

Trouble is, knowing James, they're every bit as worried as she is.

-James is so out the box.

-He can be out there, can't he?

-It's making me nervous.

-I've got nervous dry mouth, like full-on...

-Anxiety dry.

-Anxiety dry mouth.

He's got these extravagant ideas, hasn't he, and if he puts that

-into the wedding, it could be something, like, mahoosive.

-Aaah!

James's idea is definitely extravagant

and he's going to need some help.

Meet best man Adam.

And, best man Adam,

meet James's massive fashion statement idea of a wedding.

-Eyes closed?

-Yep.

I need you to imagine you're in some disused, rundown warehouse.

So, open your eyes.

Turn around.

So, rather than an aisle, you're going to have a catwalk.

Jenna'll be in here first on her own.

Yeah, then, one by one,

our guests are going to walk down the runway and then sit down.

So, imagine all of these people running...sitting.

The music's going to be blaring, lights possibly flickering

and Jenna's thinking, "What is going on, seriously?!"

And then me, the designer of the whole thing,

as in a normal catwalk, to walk down the aisle to greet the wife.

So, what does best man Adam think of James's plan to make his bride

a spectator at her cutting-edge catwalk show wedding?

Yeah.

I think if he can pull it off, it'll be fantastic,

but it's whether he can pull it off in three weeks.

Three weeks - man-break! Cheers, mate.

Well, at least he's sold.

Day one of wedding planning - James wants a venue to contrast

the flamboyant fashion styles on display on the big day.

The boys are looking for somewhere with a rundown sort of charm.

This it? This is...

Oh, this is like a warzone.

And they're thinking less old country estate, more old industrial estate.

This is the first space I'll show you.

As you can see, it's quite an open space,

so it might fit in with your theme.

Yeah, if you want to take a look around, then see what you think.

I really like the space, I like the elements. I like it.

I like it, yeah.

I'm not not liking it cos you could segregate that side off

-to this side if this was all clear.

-Well, it's definitely derelict!

You're not going to get more derelict than this.

As James explores a venue to fit his vision of the wedding,

deep in the Leicestershire countryside, Jenna is looking

at an altogether less derelict venue to fit in with hers - Belvoir Castle.

-Wow!

-Oh, my...!

-I told you it was a castle!

-Look at it! Take it all in!

-I literally can't cope.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my...!

This is literally amazing.

Key to Jenna's dream wedding vision

is a classic venue with stunning interiors and splendid scenery -

and for one very good reason.

It's just nice to have it so timeless.

You don't want to be looking back on photos with hair like this.

You want it to be nice,

and that's never going to go out of fashion, is it, like this place?

Look how old it is and it's never gone out of fashion.

People are still using it now.

This is literally, like, what my dream is,

like a classic traditional English wedding.

While Jenna's embracing the fabulous features of her venue,

Leicester's answer to Dolce & Gabbana are pondering over a venue

with some distinctive features of its own - broken windows,

-some old pallets and graffiti.

-Guys, this is another one of our floors.

From what you told me earlier with the catwalk theme,

this might be a space that can be used, this central area here.

-What is that at the end?

-That is a good question. What IS that?

It's like a...hanging kangaroo.

-Oh, poor Skippy!

-So weird.

I don't want to even go near it.

I don't know. Actually, it's giving me the creeps in here.

It's eering me out.

-I couldn't imagine having a wedding here, to be honest.

-No.

I think Jenna would batter you!

THEY LAUGH

Yeah, I was looking for more cutting edge, rather than slitting throat.

This is too derelict.

James decides that the scene of his wedding should look a little less

like the scene of a murder, so it's back to the fashion drawing board.

-THEY GASP

-Oh, my God, literally!

60 miles away, Jenna's dream castle also holds a few surprises.

What the hell?! Oh, my God!

-Look at the ceiling!

-And no dead kangaroos in sight.

This is what you dream about when you're little, isn't it?

Yeah, getting married in a castle.

It's everyone's dream, to get married in a castle.

You only do it once, all your photos reflect that.

The photos are what you have left of your wedding, isn't it,

-do you know what I mean?

-That's what you look back on.

Yeah, like, for the rest of your life.

He'll either really surprise me

or he'll just do something, like, mental

and I'm going to hate it and if it's anything modern, I'm going to die.

Well, James's next potential venue is from the 20th century,

but it's not exactly modern - it's barely standing.

Mind your head on that.

Best man Adam's had a venue idea

that could rescue James's dream of urban decay

and really sock it to the guests.

Here we are.

This is the room.

It's a disused building where Adam works...in an old sock factory.

-What do you think?

-It makes me nervous.

But I actually quite like it.

If we're looking for derelict, this is the place. There is other rooms.

That's the toilets. This bit is where we used to store all the yarn.

That's another shutter door...

-I'm just thinking how we can get the guests in.

-Yeah, they could...

They could come through here

and then this could be like the little holding/dressing area.

We could have that door closed.

Jenna comes down that way and stands at the catwalk

and then everyone comes in this way.

Yeah, cos Jenna could be facing there or wherever

and then you could have all the guests filing through here

with the catwalk there and Jenna stood there.

I can tell you're impressed.

I am actually feeling quite excited now.

It all fits, it feels right here. It actually feels right.

I've got that really excited, nervous anticipation.

I just want to now crack on and do it.

For a bargain price of £500, James bags himself a venue

he thinks will be perfect for his catwalk ceremony and reception.

Now, he just needs to give it the ultimate fashion makeover

in time for the wedding.

It's me being me.

It's my creative side coming out.

I might have gone a little bit wild this time, but I always think big.

But, yeah, I've done it

for the non-traditional wedding we both want.

James's vision is coming together and he couldn't be more pleased

so time to show off the venue for the most special day of his life

-to his mum, Mary.

-Are you excited?

I'm a little bit feeling apprehensive,

-at the moment. Are we here?

-Oh, yeah.

-Where?

Where?

-Here.

-James, where?

-Here!

So, this is where it's going to be.

And then we'll have champagne and Pimm's and drinks.

Oh, Jesus, graffiti.

-SHE GASPS

-God...

I just don't know how you're going to make it

look like there's going to be a wedding here.

Look at it.

Look at it...

She's going to go mental. She will go mental.

So, that went well(!)

And James is beginning to realise that pulling off a catwalk show

good enough to wow his bride may not be that easy.

What he needs is some sort of big fashion event for inspiration.

How about London Fashion Week?

We've got our venue now, which is our main thing.

We've got that for a steal.

We just need to kit it out now,

cos otherwise, it'll look like an empty, shit box.

This is going to set the standard that I want for the wedding,

cos obviously we're at Fashion Week, which is one of the biggest events

in the fashion calendar that we can come to.

Literally, we've got to ask questions,

try and be cheeky in a polite way

and see if we can blag a few freebies.

To turn their dirty old warehouse into, well, THIS,

James and Adam need all the elements of a professional runway show -

from extravagant and cutting-edge clothing

to lighting and stage design

and, of course, the look and attitude to bring it all to life.

But where James may need most help is backstage.

When you're out there,

you wouldn't necessarily know that any of this is going on.

Yeah, it's calm,

but they don't want obviously to see all this craziness that's going on.

So then, they'll slowly walk out, so she's checking everyone,

one of these will be the designer,

they'll check that everything is going on as they walk out

and then, it's go-go-go.

With less than three weeks to pull off an event to this standard,

the reality of the task ahead is sinking in.

The next two weeks are going to be sheer hell, I think,

trying to get what is basically a derelict warehouse

into something that we've just seen.

It's worlds apart at the moment, yeah, so a lot to do.

With a very fashionable mountain to climb,

the boys grab a few precious minutes

with global fashion house founder Savita.

How are you?

-Very well. How are you?

-Nervous.

-Why are you nervous? Tell me.

Just cos the whole spectrum of what we've got lined up,

I'm kind of overwhelmed at the minute!

So, yeah, we've got some ideas.

We're going to have some kind of cutting-edge photography taken,

so they almost look like they're in the pages of a magazine.

What my suggestion would be is have models walk down

showing complete attitude, so they'll come out,

they'll pose and then they'll just stomp down the runway

with all the photographers taking pictures

and making it really high-end.

What do you do for your shows to get the impact,

to make sure there is the impact?

When you do your model casting,

it's very important that you pick the right girls.

So, they've got to have that look, pure attitude and diva,

and I absolutely love it.

It's just how, cos obviously you've had six months, probably longer.

I've got two weeks, so it is that kind of last minute,

-making sure we've thought of EVERYTHING.

-Mmm.

We've got to bring it to life.

I know, you've got to bring it to life.

-If you need any help, I'll be more than happy.

-Perfect.

With Savita's advice ringing in his ears, James comes to a decision -

to pull off a professional show, it's all about the attitude.

And to get attitude, he needs professional models.

So, in effect, the catwalk is just a catwalk.

That's why I think the models will make it better

and then obviously, their presence on the stage will be...

-Yeah, they've got to own the stage.

-Definitely.

That's their moment to shine.

If they look shit, then it will look shit.

Whilst James works out how to attract professional models

to an abandoned sock factory,

Jenna's at work and getting increasingly concerned

about what direction her wedding could be headed in without her input.

Do you think he'll go very traditional or do you think

-it'll be something quite modern and out there?

-I don't know.

I don't know whether he's thinking of me,

whether I'll like it or not, or...

-If it fits in with whatever he's decided?

-Yeah.

Do you think there's going to be loads of people there?

I hope not. I hope there's not people I don't know.

-Right, so you want it quite intimate and family.

-Yeah.

I don't want it to be like, "Oh, why are you here?"

Cos I probably will say that.

So, Jenna doesn't want any strangers spoiling her big day,

but to pull off the ultimate fashion wedding,

James is hoping to invite a whole host of strangers.

And not just any old strangers, but stunning models,

who he wants to parade down the catwalk

moments before the couple say their vows.

Good afternoon, guys, you all right?

Cos every bride wants to be upstaged by models on their big day(!)

So, I'm James, this is Adam,

and we are planning a high-end fashion show wedding,

very sort of cutting edge.

You guys and girls need to kill it with attitude.

That is the main objective.

So literally, we want all eyes on you, stomping down, work your magic.

Er, shouldn't all eyes be on the bride?

One, two, three...

In a bid to wow his bride,

James is planning a grand entrance... for the, er, models.

-She's got a good stomp.

-With music, she'll be really good.

-Yeah.

He wants Jenna at the end of his catwalk aisle

stood spectating as a team of super-hot models

wearing cutting-edge fashion strut their stuff in front of her.

We need a tiny bit more attitude, but I think it's in there.

Hmm!

She's got a good walk. She has got a good walk.

-Sold.

-Yep.

-Definitely.

James's budget will only stretch to seven models,

so it's vital he chooses the ones he feels have the right look

and attitude to pull off his vision.

I can only take the front row forward.

Sorry, guys!

This is awful!

But maybe not as awful

as sharing a stage with models on your wedding day.

So, we've got seven models.

If we can make them look great, this catwalk's going to pop.

With his mob of models sorted,

he just needs something cutting edge for them to wear.

The bride is also thinking wedding outfits...

and what she would wear if she were in charge.

I want a traditional dress that's not going to go out of fashion.

I want something that's white and that's classic

and I'm not going to look back on it and be horrified.

-This is a lovely cut dress.

-No.

-This is a really nice design.

-No.

-I like that.

-Fitted fishtail.

-No.

This picky bride won't settle for anything less than the perfect

classic dress of her dreams.

This is a lovely all-over lace to try, really pretty.

-Yeah, I like that one.

-I really like it. I think it's really pretty.

-Classic. It will just swish.

-Oh, I love that.

-That's like a look-at-me dress, Jen.

-That's what we want.

James has his very own distinctive dress dream for Jenna.

All he needs now is someone to make it a reality.

-Hello.

-Hello, Claire?

-Yes, James.

-Nice to meet you.

Shunning the fashion houses of Paris and Milan,

he's come to a dressmaker in Leicester.

I have tried to source a dress and what I'm thinking

-and what I'm looking for, I can't buy it.

-It doesn't exist.

-No.

Because it's all in your head at this stage. OK.

-The theme of the wedding is, it's going to be a fashion show.

-OK.

What is it you would like Jenna to wear?

Obviously, it's going to be catwalk,

so it's not going to be a traditional wedding dress.

'This dress will be the master creation of the whole day.'

I don't like wedding dresses, I think they are tacky.

OK, here is the first dress, ladies.

Oh, I love it.

That's a shame, because his bride is trying on

a very traditional, lacy fishtail number.

-Oh, it is so pretty.

-It is amazing.

-I don't know.

I love it, but I love lace, so...

I don't feel like it's me, I don't feel like me in it.

While it is back to the wedding dress drawing board for Jenna,

James's non-wedding-dress dress is beginning to take shape.

-Jenna doesn't mind showing a bit of skin.

-Right, OK.

Maybe it's a bit more underwear-y looking with something over it,

so it's not just... she's got a bra on.

I like the idea of having the sheer bits.

Like you say, she does like to be naked.

Even if the whole top could be quite nude...

From a distance, she could look like she was just wearing her underwear kind of thing.

Right.

It could look like she's only wearing bits of a dress.

Oh, that's pretty.

Unfortunately, Jenna is thinking more of a complete dress.

-I love that skirt.

-A very complete and very traditional dress.

Look, when I walk, you see wedding shoe.

Is it timeless and traditional enough for Jenna?

I don't want to look back and be like,

"Oh, that's when them two-piece things were in."

Yeah, I know what you mean. Yes, like it's a fashion thing.

Well, how about a dress in lots of pieces

with see-through bits in between?

-Well, you have this bit that's sheer, then the middle...

-Yes.

Then this covered and then maybe sheer again.

-Sheer and then something very dramatic at the bottom.

-Yes.

So, we would have a sheer bit here, filled in, sheer, filled in,

sheer and then possibly feathers?

Yeah. It's got that high-fashion cutting-edge feel to it.

This wouldn't be like a traditional dress for a traditional bride.

Traditional bride Jenna has found her dream traditional dress.

THEY GASP

-That is amazing.

-That is beautiful.

-Yeah, I love it.

Classic, understated and very elegant.

Definitely that, that suits you.

-I love it.

-This dress is timeless.

-It's not got anything on it, it's plain.

-Give me a twirl.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Why do you keep staring like that?

No, because I know I'm not going to have it.

He's going to get me something vile.

-Are you worried now?

-Yeah, really worried.

Now that you've got an image in your head of what you want.

Oh, God! What's he going to get?

Nothing is going to be the same as this dress.

Unless it is this dress.

Back at the dressmaker's, James's extreme design is finished,

along with Jenna's hopes of anything

even resembling a traditional wedding dress.

-Can you see Jenna wearing it?

-Yes. It's certainly different.

OK, we're looking at about 909

altogether with your underwear and hoop.

We have a deal.

Jenna loves modern fashion, cutting-edge design,

so hopefully, she will like it, because it is unique,

it is bespoke and it is high-end and has that cutting-edge feel to it.

It is a big risk, because we're not going to know what it looks like until the day.

Obviously we've got it drawn up and it's a sketch,

but nobody's going to see the dress until Jenna has got it on.

Because James's design is so revealing, the dressmaker needs

some of Jenna's underwear, so she can make precise cuts

and hopefully avoid any embarrassing flashes on the big day.

-Literally, I am shaking like a

-BLEEPING

-duck.

HE LAUGHS

Shit! You hold these, because I'll start jingling.

Start jingling, mate, we're in the shit...

Right, we need to be quiet.

The boys need to get hold of Jenna's underwear,

without her suspecting a thing.

Luckily, these lads have worked out the knack for nicking knickers.

-Hiya. Are you all right?

-Yes.

-Good.

-What have you got for me?

While Adam distracts Jenna with details about the hen do,

James seizes his moment.

-There needs to be roughly ten people.

-Yeah.

DOGS BARK

Shh!

You'll give the game away.

HE WHISPERS

I can go through a few more bits then. But if you can tell...

Does that mean you can tell me what I can wear?

-So has everybody got a pack for everything?

-Yeah, yeah.

That's all I can say at the moment.

-I've got to rush...off.

-OK.

I've got to go. I'll see you later.

See you in a bit.

I've no idea what that means.

With all Jenna's vital details, the designer can put together James's vision

of a sexy, cutting-edge wedding dress as the centrepiece for his big day.

There's no turning back now.

With Jenna's dress being prepared for the catwalk,

there's one thing James still needs and that's the catwalk.

Could we seal the deal now, shake on it and do it for 3,000 all in?

Yes, we can. We can do it.

We'll do it for you for £3,000 including the VAT.

Perfect. You're an absolute legend.

We've just nailed the daddy of catwalks.

It's proper, decent equipment that we've got. I can't believe it.

Looking at those catwalks at Fashion Week, we've got that.

That is amazing.

Seriously. Well happy.

With everything falling into place,

James makes a call to Savita, the fashion-house founder he met

at London Fashion Week,

to take her up on the offer of help for their show.

I'm looking for someone to help backstage,

-you know, with hair and make-up.

-That's no problem.

Basically, you can have styling and fitting.

I can bring my second-in-command with me, so that's not a problem.

-You're doing it like a fashion show, though we know it's a wedding.

-Yeah.

-We don't want to take too much attention away from the gorgeous bride.

-No.

-She wouldn't be happy if that happens, trust me.

-Of course not.

She's quite vocal, she's very vocal.

-Is the bride-to-be really into fashion?

-Yes.

Well, we both are, really.

We're both hairdressers, so it kind of comes with the territory.

That won't be a problem, sourcing hair and make-up artists for you.

-They're actually one of the top in London.

-Thank you. See you soon.

We've got Savita and her top A team to literally come and sort us out.

This crisis is getting bigger and bigger, isn't it?

The boys bag a top fashion team for the cost of £600

to cover their expenses, leaving just under £4,000 with a week to go.

Time to start spending that money like it's going out of fashion.

Flowers done, now we need rings.

Jenna, we are going for platinum.

For you, we're doing palladium.

Look what I have found.

-For Noah.

-Oh!

Next on the list,

seating and props for his fashion shoot reception.

-£700.

-Yes.

-Perfect.

But there is one traditional touch - tuxedos.

Although the boys won't be wearing them,

-the bridesmaids will.

-Bridesmaids?

-Bridesmaids.

-I think you're in the wrong shop. This is menswear.

They won't be upstaging the bride, then -

let's leave the models to do that.

So, we're going for two of those, one of those, two cummerbunds,

three cummerbunds, two bow ties, £520.

-A deal?

-Deal.

-Happy?

-Sweet.

-Thank you.

Finally, the most important element of any fashion show, fashion.

The lads might have a limited budget, but they've also had a brainwave.

They've come to De Montfort University

to try and borrow statement pieces from

the fashion students to make the models

really stand out on the catwalk.

I like the layers and I just like the length of everything.

You can almost imagine one of the models, like, our models in it.

-I like this.

-No, I like the pleating feel.

And I like the combination of the black with the bright colours

that really stand out.

With a week until the wedding, it's time for the hen do,

and to throw the girls off the scent, James has arranged something

a little more locker room than catwalk.

-What the

-BLEEP

-is that? We better not be playing football.

This is what lads should be doing, not us.

We want to be relaxing in a nice spa with a glass of fizz.

Do you know what I mean? Just chilling out.

Well, the good news is, the boys aren't completely stupid.

They do have a pampering session and cheeky glass of fizz set up.

I feel like I'm floating.

But the bad news is,

it's for themselves.

Definitely living the life.

This is the best part.

-I don't even like football.

-I just don't want to be here, like...

Why would I want to come to a place like this on my hen do?

Are they all still in that football kit?

Stinking of sweat, with orange segments in their gobs...

..moaning.

Ladies...

Grrr!

-I don't know the offside rule.

-There's no offside.

-Good.

That's fine then.

WHISTLE BLOWS

What could possibly go wrong?

-I've broke my finger, broke my finger.

-What?

Less than two minutes into the game and they have their first casualty.

-She's broke her finger.

-OK. Oh, bloody hell.

I'm in so much pain.

The girls head to A&E and both Sam's finger

and Jenna's hen do are put on ice.

This hen do has gone from bad to worse and you've got to go

and try and enjoy yourself after all this and I don't even get to come.

Right, get up.

Let's go, let's go!

With Sam in hospital, Jenna bravely decides to carry on with

the next stage of the hen do James has organised.

Oblivious to the girls' medical emergency,

the boys are out on James's stag do.

On the hen do, Sam's back and Jess has decided to demand

compensation from the groom in the form of beer money.

Sam, at the football place, has broke her finger

-and she has sat in A&E for two hours.

-No, four.

Two hours later and apparently, Sam has broken her finger.

-She's what?

-How did Sam break her finger?

Swear to God, we've got in Birmingham two hours late,

-we deserve more money.

-So we've got to pay for that?

-Her finger!

-We've got to pay for a finger?

-£100.

-What are we going to give them?

-50 quid.

-50 quid.

£50. All right. See you later.

No!

Victory!

But the hen do has left some of the girls worrying about what lies ahead.

I just feel a bit frustrated, to be honest.

At the minute, I'm not thinking greatly of what's going to happen with the wedding.

It's the morning after the disastrous hen do.

Time for the bridesmaids to see their wedding outfits.

Let's hope James's untraditional choices don't add insult to injury.

Literally.

Welcome. There's nothing to be worried about.

What could possibly go wrong?

-A broken finger.

-Anyway, never mind.

Right, we're going to take a seat on our lovely little sofa.

I'd like to tell you I'm excited, but I'd be lying.

Another couch.

-What is going on?

-Close your eyes.

-I can't cope.

-I can't cope.

I don't want to open my eyes.

-I know.

-OK, after three. One, two, three.

What the hell? No way am I wearing that!

No way. I can't believe you've done that.

Surely that's for a bloke. What is Jenna going to say?

She'll like it.

I don't think she will.

When everything comes together, you've got to trust us.

This has made me think,

-what the

-BLEEP

-have you done for the wedding day?

-I'm in shock.

-I can't believe we're going to wear a suit.

I wanted to feel nice for her, for me.

I can't get my head round it right now.

Reluctantly, the girls head to the changing rooms -

the men's changing rooms, obviously,

to see what their tuxedos look like on.

-I like it.

-How are we feeling?

Like a twat.

That is horrific.

He is convinced that she's going to like it.

I don't get it. Why would she like it?

It's her wedding day, like...

Any other time, any other location,

she might not be too bad about it, but it's her wedding day.

I'm kind of having second thoughts about everything.

The whole thing could go tits up, to be honest,

and now it kind of puts doubt in your head for everything.

So, this is how my creative mind works.

It might not necessarily be to everybody's taste,

it's just me having that creative licence.

Our relationship isn't a traditional, typical,

normal relationship and I think this wedding just shows that

and it just speaks... volumes for itself.

The bridesmaids and now even his best man believe

James may have misjudged Jenna's taste,

but the groom himself remains confident

that he knows his bride and what she wants on her big day.

With the wedding only a day away, the moment of truth is here.

Jenna is about to see the cutting-edge dress

James has designed for her to wear tomorrow.

Hi, everyone. Come on in. Hi.

'The dress is really important to me.

'It's one of the main things that everyone looks at, at a wedding,

'and if it's wrong, then it's going to be...disaster.'

I don't want it to be too in your face or too out there.

I just want it to be remembered as a nice day.

Not wacky.

I feel dead anxious.

You know how weird he can be.

You say that, yeah, I am, yeah, I am nervous for you.

Oh, God. I'm really nervous.

-Are you?

-I'm nervous I'm not going to like it.

I don't know.

-Let's... I just want to get it on.

-Yeah.

-Get it on.

-Yeah.

So, do you want to come and, er, have a look at it?

-OK.

-SHE SIGHS

-Are you ready, Jenna, to see this dress?

-I think so.

-Are you sure?

-No.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Can I close my eyes?

Oh, my God, I'm so scared

that I'm not going to like it.

Oh, my! I can't cope.

Jenna wanted a traditional, timeless wedding dress,

but what will she make of the revealing number that James

has designed for her catwalk-themed wedding?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my...

Is that a good "Oh, my God"?

I don't... I'm not sure.

It's just not what I would've picked.

It's nothing like the traditional dress I wanted.

Um...

-It's complete opposite.

-Oh, my God, really?

Yeah.

-Let's get it on.

-Let's get it on!

Oh, my God.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, my God.

-Do you like it?

-Oh, my God.

-It's literally not what I would pick.

It's just so, yeah, different.

-Are you ready to see yourself in a mirror?

-Definitely.

-OK.

Let's do it.

-Yeah.

-And there we go.

SLOW HEARTBEAT

I love it.

# Ooh, singing... #

He's got it down...to a T with that, perfect.

I'm so annoyed!

LAUGHTER

Damn!

-The boy did good.

-Boy did great.

-He did.

-She likes her bum.

-My bum looks...

LAUGHTER

-Your bum locks in.

-Yeah, that's what I like.

-I am shocked I like it.

-Yeah.

But I think I prefer this better than the other one.

-What?

-I know.

-Really?

I can't...I don't, I can't believe it.

I prefer it, cos it's more runway.

-Yeah.

-What the hell's wrong with me?

-What? It's like you've just...

-Changed my mind.

-I know, what are you doing?

-I know.

You were unsure, like you say, of how you felt...

-This wouldn't go in a castle.

-No, course it wouldn't.

-I think in her head, she wanted a traditional, timeless kind of dress.

-She was lost. Mm.

And I think that's what she THOUGHT she wanted for her big day, but then this dress is more her.

This is more like runway, like, more fashionable.

But I do like runway, so, maybe he knew that I'd like it,

and I do, I love it.

With his take on a wedding dress a success,

perhaps this groom's fashion show runway wedding

could take off tomorrow.

It's the morning of the wedding.

All the elements for James's day are coming together.

The transformation from lowly sock factory

to high-end fashion show venue is almost complete.

The models have arrived...

-Good journey?

-Yes, thank you.

..as have fashion founder Savita and her team from London Fashion Week.

This is just inspiration for the models.

All coming together, isn't it? So it's...it's the build-up

and it's the excitement.

But it's that nervous adrenaline feeling.

Quite scary, but scary in a positive and good way.

Back at home, Jenna's morning is also off to a flawless start.

-Hi! You OK?

-We've got your make-up.

-Yeah! Thank God. We've got make-up!

-CHEERING

-Ooh!

-OK, so we've been given a style to do...

-Yeah.

..so, it's going to be kind of heavy, smoky eyes,

a lot of contour...

Yes! This is what I've been saying the whole time.

LAUGHTER

What about my lips? Have I got pink lips?

Nail colours.

-This colour?

-Supposed to match your nail colour.

-Perfect.

But it's not just Jenna that James wants to look her very best today.

He has hair, make-up and cutting-edge clothing for the beautiful models,

who'll be out to steal the show before the bride has her chance to.

-So, we've got nine outfits...

-Yeah.

I was wanting the models, kind of, to fluff it out a little bit more...

-Mm.

-..so we'll probably send five guests down,

-maybe the bridesmaids...

-Mm.

-..and then a model

and then, some more guests, then another model,

-so they're kind of...

-You're going to stagger it a little bit.

-Yeah.

-OK, that's no problem.

-So they kind of fit in with...

-Yeah.

OK, now I've got it. And guests, what time are they arriving?

-Two...

-Two o'clock. So, I will have them in running order for you,

-just like a fashion show.

-Perfect.

Walk.

Pose.

I like the fact that the models' outfits

are going to really stand out,

so it will all look beautiful on the runway.

I wouldn't want professional models at my wedding.

So, imagine if we were like Cara Delevingne.

I would not want her at my wedding.

SHE LAUGHS

Back at home, Jenna is about to get her first clue

that she may not be getting the timeless, traditional wedding

she dreamed of.

-What the

-BLEEP?

LAUGHTER

We're in men's suits.

-Are they men's?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

They've been tailored, though.

-I like it.

-I knew you'd like it! I knew you'd like it!

-I want one!

-LAUGHTER

Incredibly, the bridesmaids' tuxedos suit the bride perfectly.

But back at the sock factory,

a nervous James has no idea that so far, he hasn't put a foot wrong.

-Feeling a bit real now, isn't it?

-A little bit, now everyone's here.

I think it's going to be more real once the bridesmaids are here,

then you know Jenna's on the way.

I'm really happy. Just nervous.

I just want to get there.

With everything ready at the venue,

Jenna is ready to leave home in James's high-fashion dress.

Where do you reckon we're going, then?

God knows.

Well, we're going past the church.

That's a no-go.

Jenna's only minutes away.

James just has time to brief his guests about the key role

they have to play in the wedding.

JAMES WHISTLES

You're actually at the James and Jenna fashion show.

Jenna's going to come through the room

and we're going to come in to her,

so there's a bit of a slight role reversal of the whole thing,

but we've not done anything normal.

So, once we go in there, there's a catwalk,

you're all going to walk down it and then sit down.

There's a few models in there as well, so they'll mingle in with you.

So, we're going to move in.

-Everyone all right with that?

-Yeah.

Oh! Why are we going this way?

HE LAUGHS

James needs just one final piece of the jigsaw to fall into place...

Jenna.

Oh!

But the bride is realising she won't be getting

her dream of a timeless and classic country manor house.

-We're in a... Where the

-BLEEP

-are we?

-Here we are.

-Oh, my... Where are we?

Can James's urban industrial chic win her over?

I'm not happy, I'm not happy, I am not happy.

The bride has arrived.

The guests are in place and the models are set to strut their stuff.

-Oh, is she here?

-Yeah.

-Sharpen up.

-SHE LAUGHS

Joe and Dave and Joseph, then Mum and Dad and Colin

and then whoever in order. Yeah, and let's do her last.

Oh, thank you.

-INDISTINCT VOICE

-Shut up.

Right, am I walking in on my own?

Joy.

Ssh.

I'm not happy.

What's this on here? Like, what is this?

I can't be walking past this. Oh...

Oh, my God. Are you joking?

This is horrendous.

I don't even want to be here.

This is awful.

Safe to say Jenna's not wowed so far.

Am I looking this way?

Will James's fashion show ceremony,

complete with wedding guests and troupe of hot models,

win her over?

Oh...

MUSIC: Donatella by Lady Gaga

# I am so fab

# Check out, I'm blonde

# I'm skinny

# I'm rich

# And I am a little bit of a bitch... #

What's that?

# I wanna dress you up in silk...

# Taffeta... #

Backstage, James has no idea how his runway wedding is going down,

so he's sticking to plan A, keep sending those models out.

No, I don't want to be here.

Please.

You'll be all right when James comes.

Who are these people?!

# Mi-mi-bella!

# I'm a rich bitch, I'm the upper class

# All of the day

# I'm the pearl

# I'm gonna smoke Marlboro Lights And drink champagne

# I smoke Marlboro reds and drink champagne... #

Five, six, go.

# What do you think Is the new thing?... #

MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH

# What do you wanna wear This season?

INSTRUMENTAL

MUSIC FADES AND APPLAUSE

After three weeks,

it's finally time for James to walk down his own aisle

and marry his bride.

IF she will say, "I do."

Do you, Jenna and James, realise that this ceremony is the biggest

real deal and everlasting thing you'll ever do?

We do.

What? I weren't listening.

LAUGHTER

Do you, Jenna and James,

-realise that my ceremony is the biggest real...

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

FAINT LAUGHTER

Do you, James, agree to be Jenna's best friend and soul mate,

loving life partner and never organise anything ever again?

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

Do you, Jenna, agree to be James's best friend and soul mate,

loving life partner, no matter how adventurous and creative he may be?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-BABY CRIES IN BACKGROUND

-The rings, please.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may now kiss your beautiful bride.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

James has managed to pull off a spectacular fashion show.

The problem is, it may not be the perfect wedding for his bride.

'I feel gutted.

'Disappointed.

'Definitely wasn't expecting... that reaction.'

I am well and truly pissed off.

I am...

disappointed.

Yeah, she still went ahead with it, but...

I actually don't know what to say.

I wanted to walk down an aisle and be like, "Oh, yeah,

"that dress is really nice, that looks really nice."

Now, I look like a stupid, crying mess.

Wasn't going to be a fairy-tale wedding.

-Now, it's just turned into a

-BLEEPING

-nightmare.

I think everybody's attention was more on the catwalk

and Jenna was kind of just there. So...

er, obviously, we diverted all the attention from Jenna,

when everybody should be looking at Jenna, really.

As soon as I walked down that catwalk, I just knew. I just knew.

The look on her face.

All celebrations are on hold.

It's left to the bridesmaids to try and salvage the day.

-What do you want to do?

-Why do you even think that I would want that?

He's not thought about it on your wedding day,

the fact that you... He's took it to what you like

and then took that to the extreme.

That's what he's done, because you love fashion,

-you love everything like that, but...

-Yeah, but I didn't...

-I know.

-..just random people there that I don't even know.

-I know.

With his fashion show wedding falling apart at the seams,

James tries to bring round his bride.

You know me, I'm not traditional, we're not traditional.

-So, I wanted to do something...

-No, but I, because we're not traditional,

I wanted to do more traditional on the wedding day,

-so we don't look back and think, "What the

-BLEEP

-is this?"

Yeah, like, literally didn't even get a chance to walk down the aisle.

I wanted to do, sort of like a fashion...catwalk thing.

I wanted you to see it, cos everything else...

-To see what, though?

-What we've done.

-Everything was already there.

-I tried my best.

-I know you did.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

INDISTINCT

-Huh?

-Promise?

-Promise!

-I'm just annoyed.

-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

It's not...a problem, it's done, it's done now.

-They're feisty.

-Yeah.

-They've got that feistiness in them.

One minute, that's them in there, going at each other...

-Yeah.

-..but then seconds later, they're fine.

-Mm.

-I'm really annoyed.

-Why?

I'm annoyed that I'm upset that I didn't like it,

which I know would upset you.

I'm not sure whether I forgive this ceremony.

-Oh, give over.

-I might be holding it against you to get...

-leverage.

-Leverage?

-Leverage. Is that the right word?

The happy couple are happy again.

Sort of.

But at least now the party can get started and there's still time

for those timeless, traditional wedding pictures

Jenna's always wanted.

They married each other because they're soul mates.

Both of them are far from perfect.

They've both got their moods, their attitudes.

But for each other,

yeah, they are soul mates.

# Look at this face

# I know the years are showing

# Look at this life... #

If I gave her a traditional, what did you call it, English wedding?...

I'd have loved it.

THEY wouldn't. Swans on the lawn, violins playing...

I don't like swans, swans are aggressive.

You give her what she wants,

she'd find something that's wrong with it.

This had a LOT wrong with it.

# Look at these eyes

# They've never seen What mattered... #

You and Noah definitely mean the world to me.

Like, and I wouldn't have not married you,

but I was...just so angry.

I could've walked out.

So, have James's efforts in any way convinced his bride

that he CAN take some responsibility in their relationship?

I think I've learned I need...you,

but I think you also need to learn that you need me.

I know I need you, but I definitely don't need you to make any form of decision in my life.

SONG ENDS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

A few days later, James and Jenna made their union legal.

James, will you take Jenna to be your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

And, Jenna, will you take James to be your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

It's my very great pleasure to declare that you are now

lawfully joined together as husband and wife.

Congratulations.

APPLAUSE

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

CAMERA CLICKS

Next time, get ready to jingle your wedding bells...

-Oh, my God!

-LAUGHTER

..as we look back at the most festive nuptials ever.

Christmas!

There'll be wise men...

-Dan, this could end disastrously.

-..not so wise men...

I like the elf. Looks a bit freaky.

..and the brides going completely out of their tree.

You can literally see my pubes.

Why a bikini? You don't go to places abroad!

So, make sure you tune in to this Christmas special.

It's going to be crackers.

I hate him so much at the minute.

# You know, baby When you're in my arms

# I can feel your love And magic charms

# You drive me cra-azy

# You drive me cra-azy

# And when I'm looking in those Big blue eyes

# I started Floating down in paradise

# You drive me cra-azy

# You drive me cra-azy... #